The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett - Moment 65 - Jimmy Carr On Knowing You're Enough

Episode Date: July 8, 2022

In these ‘Moment’ episodes of my podcast, I’ll be selecting my favourite moments from previous episodes of The Diary Of A CEO. In this moment, Jimmy Carr walks us through how exactly to find out what it is that's going to bring you happiness, and how to find satisfaction in your life. He tells us exactly how to interpret your actions and interrogate your feelings to bring out your true desires. It took Jimmy a long time to find out what he really wanted from life, and he was nearly trapped by the expectations he and other people put on himself when he felt himself moving towards a corporate life he didnt want. Jimmy set himself free, and in this moment he explains how you can set yourself free too. Listen to the full episode here - https://g2ul0.app.link/I7QKadbntrb Jimmy - https://www.instagram.com/jimmycarr/?hl=en https://twitter.com/jimmycarr?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor Watch the Episodes On Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/c/TheDiaryOfACEO/videos

Quick one, just wanted to say a big thank you to three people very quickly. First people I want to say thank you to is all of you that listen to the show. Never in my wildest dreams is all I can say. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd start a podcast in my kitchen and that it would expand all over the world as it has done. And we've now opened our first studio in America, thanks to my very helpful team led by Jack on the production side of things. So thank you to Jack and the team for building out the new American studio.

And thirdly to Amazon Music who, when they heard that we were expanding to the united states and i'd be recording a lot more over in the states they put a massive billboard in time square um for the show so thank you so much amazon music um thank you to our team and thank you to all of you that listen to this show let's continue you said something which is you know find that thing within you that you can be the best at the thing that you enjoy and etc etc when i when i say that to people they always say to me but steve how how do i find the thing how do i find my purpose is it just i sit down with myself and make a list do i yeah i mean i literally went through uh there's two books um zen and the art

of making a living i would recommend to people it's still available and there's two books, um, Zen and the Art of Making a Living, I would recommend to people. It's still available. And there's a book called, um, What Color Is Your Parachute? They're quite corporate, both of them, even Zen and the Art of Making a Living is quite corporate, but it's basically you write essays about yourself and you, you, it's a workbook. It's like a big chunky workbook. I did both of them and it kind of, and for me, I kind of then slightly threw it away and went show business, baby. But it's interesting of like knowing yourself, like who really knows you? Your friends probably know you. Ask them, ask them what they think. It's an interesting sort of process to kind of go like, and you could be a ripe old age and this would still apply. Like, do you know who you are, how you're perceived and who you really are,

what you feel like? Because it's that thing where you've got, like those personality tests online are not dumb to do. You know, there's that, what's the- Myers-Briggs? No, no, there's a Jordan Peterson one, Understanding Myself. It's like a hundred questions and it tells you things.

That's worth, I had a crack at that recently and really enjoyed it. Like, cause you get the results and go, I agree with that. So that's surprising. Well, crack at that recently and really enjoyed it like because you get the results and go i agree with that so that's surprising well you know it's it's interesting it's almost like a um a um a horoscope like everyone likes their horoscope right because everyone's a little bit egotistical and like oh i wonder what it says about me and i think those personality tests kind of can be very very useful for going well how are you going to find your edge? What's the thing you enjoy? Is it being with people? Is it on your own? Are you introverted, extroverted? That Myers-Briggs thing might lead you in a

direction of going, well, I can't be, I'm not going to be a salesman. I'm going to be, and these are jobs we're talking about as opposed to something beyond that, like a purpose, a career, an entrepreneurial spirit. People find that. So I've done the Myers-Briggs, I've done this, I've done the Jordan Peterson test, and it's clear that my passion is X. But I'm in that job, unthinking as you describe it, and I've got a mortgage to pay, I've got, you know, bills. Well, I mean, that thing of like, I nearly fell into that trap. I was like, the things you own end up owning you. Like, there's nothing you can buy in the mall that you

give a fuck about in five years time. There's nothing. Like, like in the early phase of your life, don't fucking buy anything. Because it's like, you know, the things you own end up owning you. Like the payments on a sports car nearly stopped me going into comedy because you go, well, what ties you down? If I'd bought a house in, you know, the 90s when I was, you know, working for Shell, it would have been a great investment and I never would have left because you're paying that mortgage,

you're doing that thing. What do you need? You know, what do you need the money for? What are you using the money for? You know, when you take away the commute and you take away the lunch that you're buying and the night out, the weekend and a couple of drinks to, you know, cause you need some fun. It's,

it's, it's amazing how little, when I first year in comedy, I made literally no money. I mean, literally nothing. First money I got was 80 pounds in cash for going to driving five hours to Plymouth and back, but had a little bit saved. I had this like five grand from shell and I was living at my mom's, uh, initially. So it was like, it's fine. I had enough. You grand from Shell and I was living at my mum's initially. So it was like, it's fine. I had enough. You know that amazing story about Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller? No. They're at a party in New York and the party's fucking incredible, right? So it's in the Hamptons, right? So the guy's, he's married to a supermodel. He's got Warhols. He's got Picassos.

The house is unbelievable. Like the Wolf of Wall Street party, the incredible, amazing party. Everyone's there. And Kurt Vonnegut, incredible writer, says to Joseph Heller, this guy made more money one day last week than you made out of Catch-22. And the light laughs at him. And Joseph Heller goes, yeah, but I've got something he'll never have. Enough. What's enough? What's enough for you? What's, what's enough? What's the, there's two things going on, right? There's, there's safety and security, right? There's our caveman thing of like going, right, why need, we need to be secure. That's about a bear not attacking, right? We feel pretty secure

in our worlds, right? And then scarcity is about, it's another caveman thing of like going, okay, so we need to collect some stuff because winter is coming. So we need some, we need some coin, we need a little bit of gold to take care of us. How much is enough? I mean, there's going to be a trillionaire. Next five years, there's going to be, someone's going to be a trillionaire. It's going to be in the news. You know why? Because a billion wasn't enough. And the millionaires and the billionaires, trillionaires, but they're working for money. The money is the, is the important thing. It's the, that's what, that's the whole center of their being.

It's interesting because as I reflect on my childhood, I was clearly the, one of the big drivers for my success was insecurity, broke family, black kid in an all white school. Parents were never in the house. I'm going to school every day with fucking stained trousers and stained t-shirts and no money. So like this deep insecurity must have been like sort of burnt into me that like, if you get money, Steve, then you won't feel ashamed anymore. It's interesting. I think it's a really interesting point because as someone that lost their faith, I think fame and fortune are the secular heaven.

Like we get rich and famous and everything's okay. There's no problems when you're rich and famous. That's what I thought. Everything's fine. Well, of course, because it is like a, if you think about like legacy now becomes the afterlife, and fame and fortune become the recognition of people that we don't know becomes a type of heaven.

So I think it's a perfectly rational thing to, you know, are you moving towards something or away from something? In an ideal world, it's kind of a mix of the two. And at what stage do you personally, and I think probably if I was, I'm not a psychotherapist, but I would say you need to build some ritual around it. And I'm sure you did when you sold your company or left, but build some ritual, have a trip, do something shamanic and go, we did it. We're okay. We have enough. Yeah. And now focus on towards something yeah but that's like that part of your life is kind of over now right it's like the the what was that thing for you what was the

trying to trying to escape pain and get to a point of i guess freedom and freedom is a very psychological thing it's the freedom from shame freedom from not being able to, freedom from having to do things you don't want to do. And I think really freedom from shame. I think that's probably at the very heart of it. I think that's what it is. It's very deep, man. Because it's that thing where you go, I feel empathetic towards the younger you.

That's like a tough thing to have to go through. But you go, kind of great. Kind of great. Look at what, look at how far you got on away from, without even the towards, without even the amazing kind of, you know, and it's, it's like, well, what next? That's a, it's a sad story. But then you, you, you look at people that got given everything and have done nothing because they had no sense of purpose. They had no fire under them. They had no, I think, yeah,

it's kind of an inspiring story. But then it's, you know, there's no, I suppose it's like, what's going to motivate you next? What's going to be the thing that you go, you know, what do I want to do? And this this is exactly it so you think about how important purpose is for people to feel stabilized and fulfilled etc as we've talked about earlier and then you think about these people that are they're striving for a million a billion a trillion well think about what a midlife crisis is right so i talk a lot about midlife crisis in the book and you go well

midlife crisis is someone that's found their purpose and they've done their thing. And then they've gone, is this it? Yeah. Is this it? And then they want something like excitement. So what do they buy? Sports car. Is it exciting? I don't fucking know. I mean, maybe, maybe if you're super into cars, I guess it's good. But like, it's all advertising speaks to this, right? I know I'm right. Cause all advertising ever is about, it's no longer about the functionality of the product. It's about the, well, what, what do you want? You want to, you want to feel like a self-esteem, like self-esteem, great Rolls Royce. You want excitement? We've got Ferraris for you. You want to get your dicks out? We've got a Porsche, whatever the thing is that, you know, you got that, that, that kind of, there's a different one

and they're playing on different emotions. And I think being aware of, I mean, I come back to it all the time. What do you want is the fundamental question. Like in any scenario, when you sit down to eat, what do you want? What do you want from life? What do you want? What's, what's the thing that you want? And often it's often it's often asking that question multiple times because the first answer tends to be bullshit. Well, I think wishing wells work, right? But they don't work when you think they work. It's nothing. There's no magic. The magic is, if there is any, knowing what to wish for, knowing what that thing is. You know, someone says, I want a million pounds. You go, you don't know what know what you want you want tokens for things that you might want in the future what

do you want what are you doing what are you trying to be who who are you trying to become