The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett - Moment 80 - Bear Grylls: The Trick I Use To Find Confidence

Episode Date: October 21, 2022

In these ‘Moment’ episodes of my podcast, I’ll be selecting my favourite moments from previous episodes of The Diary Of A CEO. In this moment, Bear Grylls tells us how to find lasting confidence. It’s incredible to think that someone like Bear - who’s a veteran of the SAS and conquered every challenge nature has had throw at him - struggles with Imposter Syndrome, but in this clip he reveals his journey to find confidence. Real confidence, according to Bear, comes from accepting that life will humble you, that life is often a battle, that sometimes you’ll lose as well as win. Only then can you appreciate the importance of doing your best, or DYB as Bear calls it. Because really going for things that we want without fear is, in the end, all we can do. Listen to the full episode here - https://g2ul0.app.link/UgDYEktWhub Bear: https://www.beargrylls.com https://www.instagram.com/beargrylls/?hl=en Wait list for The Diary - Add your name here: bit.ly/3fUcF8q Watch the Episodes On Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/c/TheDiaryOfACEO/videos

Quick one, just wanted to say a big thank you to three people very quickly. First people I want to say thank you to is all of you that listen to the show. Never in my wildest dreams is all I can say. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd start a podcast in my kitchen and that it would expand all over the world as it has done. And we've now opened our first studio in America, thanks to my very helpful team led by Jack on the production side of things. So thank you to Jack and the team for building out the new American studio.

And thirdly to Amazon Music who, when they heard that we were expanding to the United States, and I'd be recording a lot more over in the States, they put a massive billboard in Times Square for the show. So thank you so much, Amazon Music. Thank you to our team. And thank you to all of you that listened to this show. Let's continue. When you say confidence, how do you define confidence? Because some people think of confidence as this overt external expression of self-assurance. What did you mean when you said, I didn't have confidence and it's still an ongoing battle? What is that?

I think it's not what the world always thinks, like you say. We always have this thing of confidence, as you say, it's this, unstoppable, I can do anything. You know, I think life is always humbling, you know, in every way, just like the wild, you know, the mountains are humbling. You know, the real things in life are humbling. So you remind us that, you know, it's often a battle. And, you know, you've got to sometimes put your head down and do your best and you're going to fail and you're going to struggle

and you're going to have doubts and you're going to have self-doubt. But try and get to your feet and keep going. And I think that is confidence. You know, confidence is the quiet stuff and the honesty and to say this is a struggle, but let's go. You know, let's do our best. I love that thing of the Scouts, you know, do your best, which is so smart because I think so much of the world is about be the best you know win

number one you know but actually that doesn't always stand that the pressure test of time and of life and of going for big things are always going to be humbling and I think the thing of do your best you know it's dib dib dib you know dyv do your best I love that because wherever you're at you can do that you know it's a decision isn't it's not a gift it's not something we're born with like the looks or the academic of the sport something you've got to summon and uh I like that what were the symptoms of having a lack of confidence when you were that age what would it look like how did it manifest itself i think probably just being quite shy and uh and i think you see the the people at school always the the bigger personalities and it was

always like gosh you got to be like that to get anywhere and it's a life journey isn't it to realize it's almost the opposite it's almost the opposite you know look at the quiet the persevering relentlessly trying to pick yourself up through the failures and and keep going and and know the wealth of life the wealth is always found in our relationships and and you know you come across people who are rich in friendships and you know rich in passion and love what they do and love the people they work with and you know and that's enough that's wonderful but it takes a bit of unlearning doesn't it of saying you know you don't have the people not always to look up to aren't always the front and center and as I get older I see more and more heroes left

right and send we're more left and right rather than center you know and I love that I sort of see it in people and uh you know I see it in our camera crew I mean look at look at what's been a core part of my job for however many years many years now you know the filming and stuff and you know the focus is always on the person in front of screen and, you know, that horrible word of talent, as they call it. I never felt very talented, still don't. Still feel I'm surrounded by way more talented people.

But life isn't a competition about who's more talented. It's a journey to take with great friends. And I look at our camera crew and to me true heroes you know they work harder they carry heavier weights you know unsung you know relentlessly positive carry me many times you know in so many ways encourage me when when I've been struggling and I look at them and still brothers and sisters best friends to this day uh I think it's probably the thing I'm most proud of in my career, actually, are the friendships with our crew. In an industry that is notoriously transient,

people have crew come, crew go, new crews, but we've kept pretty well the core crew from the beginning. And part of it's that we're obviously working in difficult, dangerous terrain and you forge stronger bonds than you would in a shiny studio. But part of it's that the loyalty really matters from both, goes both ways. And I love that. You said that you kind of have a bit of an allergic reaction to the word talent, right? Just from a few other things that you said in that little opener, I wondered if you relate at all to the to the phrase imposter syndrome at all because you're someone who's the world has this image of you as being this like unbelievable mountain scaling

fearless adventurer and even you talking about a lack of confidence doesn't seem to fit into that narrative that the world must hold a view so have you ever felt what they call imposter syndrome at all would you ever yeah i think so because i'm going because it probably grows you know the more you know the more sort of something does well you know we you know we did the show this year for netflix called you versus wild you know and we just got the news you know this morning we got nominated for three emmys for it and the crew go babos is so excited but part of my heart dies part of me is like oh it's like that gulf between the the sort of tv sort of you know guy and then it gets bigger you know and i feel from day one i felt i almost had more confidence i think in my skills at the beginning.

I think as the years have gone on, I've realized actually I've often been surrounded by people who are better climbers, better skydivers, better survival guys, better looking, fitter, stronger, all of these things, just because we've built a crew of ninjas, of true heroes. And we've got to work with people and locals and experts all around the world year after year and I think more and more I feel these guys are those that person we met there or that person they are amazing be much better at the job than me but you know like I say our job isn't to be the best you know it's to do our best and and you know for some reason I've been given this this the chance to do this

it's what I've always loved I love the adventures I love like I say the friendships and you know the job we do and I think you can only ride that and be grateful for it and and like I say do do your best and and not worry about too much about how the tv makes it always look I mean the truth is the tv always puts the best bits. They cut out the trips and the stumbles and you put anything to music and the guy's going to look cool, you know. But I think an element to why the show worked

when we first started doing it is that we did show a lot of the mistakes and it was kind of the slips and the stumbles and the ums and the ahs. And I remember from day one, the producer that came came to me and said well we want to do this show where we drop you in the middle of difficult places and you show us how to get out of there and and I kept saying no because I didn't want to do tv I didn't

know about tv and I was like and you know but you kept saying we don't want that it doesn't need to be perfect and I've and it was my wife that said why don't you go and try it you know and I just left the military we just got married we were kind of starting out and she was smart she said go and try it and actually it's never felt like making a perfect thing I think the magic at that time it was the first show that came along that let all the mud be on the lens and the rain on the lens and the trips and the stumbles you saw the cameraman's hand and it would come there was a sort of interactivity that was that was great and I've always felt if it's not broke don't fix it the stumbles the trips the struggles

the the mistakes are part of life uh but the part of my heart that dies is because it all makes it look too good or too you know because at the end of the day I'm a really regular guy I'm a regular dad as well you know I'm not I'm not brilliant at'm a really regular guy I'm a regular dad as well you know I'm not I'm not brilliant at any of these things but I know what I love and I know the weapons that serve me best and the weapons are always this you know be dogged be determined be the most resilient person out there when it's hard you know come alive in the big moments when it's not the big moments you don't need to be front and center but in the big moments be there