The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett - Moment 91 - The "Harmless" Thing You Do That Hurts So Many People! - Richard Osmond

Episode Date: January 6, 2023

Imagine being different and self conscious of this difference, then think of how it would feel to be reminded of this every single day of your life. In this moment Richard Osman discusses how he has been body shamed for over 30 years of his life. Ever since the impressionable age of 17 Richard has been made to feel small for his above average height. This changed his behaviour and meant that he held himself back from living the life he wanted to lead. Being ‘different’ has taught Richard about human nature and the hate in the world, but also empathy and what it means to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Listen to the full episode here - https://g2ul0.app.link/76tKDDAvlwb Richard: https://www.instagram.com/misterosman/?hl=en https://twitter.com/richardosman?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor Watch the Episodes On Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/c/TheDiaryOfACEO/videos

Quick one, just wanted to say a big thank you to three people very quickly. First people I want to say thank you to is all of you that listen to the show. Never in my wildest dreams is all I can say. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd start a podcast in my kitchen and that it would expand all over the world as it has done. And we've now opened our first studio in America, thanks to my very helpful team led by Jack on the production side of things. So thank you to Jack and the team for building out the new American studio.

And thirdly to Amazon Music who, when they heard that we were expanding to the united states and i'd be recording a lot more over in the states they put a massive billboard in time square um for the show so thank you so much amazon music um thank you to our team and thank you to all of you that listen to this show let's continue the other thing you talk about and i've seen this in a few interviews is your height being something you've almost contended with and it's you know it's interesting because um a lot of short men want to be tall men and hear a tall man say yeah speak as if he would rather be a little bit shorter is quite surprising well i'm six foot seven which is too much is the truth uh and you know it it makes you extraordinary. Look, my eyesight is not, people can't see that. Okay, so that's mine. And that's internalized. And, you know, I deal with that how I want to. My height is something that people can always see. And I find it, I find it fascinating, again, in this world of social media, when people talk about microaggressions, and stuff that you must have seen your entire life, which is if you're different in any way right you're reminded of it non-stop

you know mostly you know people are not being cruel sometimes they are now I have a height so I'm not being discriminated against because of my height right it's not you know I'm not it's not costing me anything but I do know that every single day of my life I'm reminded of it every single day but just non-stop and so I know that to be a person of color to be differently gendered to be all of these things I know that the microaggressions I get you are getting non-stop every day of your life and in a much more harmful way so I've always hopefully really really understood the idea of microaggressions and that idea that please I hear this every single day even if you're trying to be kind you know if you see

somebody is different they do not need to be told they do not need it pointed out every single day because everyone has told them their entire life that they're different you know and I know you're just thinking yeah but it's just me you think yeah but it's just you and five other people every single day forever and you know I've had that with my height forever and ever and ever and for incredibly self-conscious and most people are perfectly nice some people are horrible because some people it's a really good radar for what people are like I call it a c-word radar sometimes this being different in any way and which perhaps you'll agree with which is so

many people are sort of lovely and chat but then you know a couple of times a day there's just someone who wants to shout at you out of a window or just wants to make you feel small ironically you know that's what they want to do and you just think why what someone's a bit different to you and you've got to shout something and make yourself feel a bit better you know and so being different in any way whatsoever I think really teaches you about people and about the hate that's out there and about the unhappiness that's out there because that's where it all comes from and so being tall yeah has taught me about microaggressions and and has made me try and fight for people who are different and has made me just say to people if someone is different right just talk to them normally you don't need to it's we never had the word but sometimes i'll sort of tweet something

about oh i love this film or i went to see this gig or blah blah blah and like 10 people go glad i wasn't behind you and you know what it's a perfectly harmless joke right perfectly harmless i get it i understand why people do it but i get it every single time someone does it so just think for one second has this guy ever heard this before has he heard this thing before is it a fun thing to say to him because to me if i go to a gig or a cinema it's a nightmare because i don't want to be in front of anyone i go out of my way to be as far back as possible which when you can't see it's impossible or you know sit on the island a cinema yeah i take it seriously and every single time they say it now that's just a tiny example but recently people say

they've started saying oh you mustn't body shame i thought well that's interesting because body shaming is sort of something that um you know certain people would say that oh that's what a snowflake talking about body shaming but actually it really i think yeah that's what you're doing that's what people have done to me for the last 30 years they body shame me like because they've talked about my stature and I felt ashamed that's body shaming I mean that's what that is I would never have thought of it as that I just was embarrassed I just made me feel shy and made me not want to go out but it's body shaming and actually having it named you just think oh good for you and it's the younger generation you do it they're so great and they just say no come on that's body shaming and actually having it named you just think oh good for you and it's the younger generation you do it they're so great and they just say no come on that's body shaming you think oh that's

such a such a lovely sort of thing to have in my armory they're going to go yeah that's exactly what you're doing uh and again 90 of people they mean nothing by it and i get it but it's just boring and 10 of people it's you just think oh you're you're very unpleasant I am I never I'm so glad to hear that because it's really changed my perspective because um and I mean genuinely mean that like I wouldn't sit here and just go yeah I agree I genuinely have learned something yeah and um and I think I think it's I think it's because of how I phrased the question at the start in the sense that a lot of people feel a ton of shame for being slightly shorter, which is, again, it's a point of being different. And I've never heard, in my experience, someone say, but it's completely right, that wherever they go, they must be continually reminded of the fact

that they're taller than everybody and how that might make them feel. When did that first start happening in your life? Well, sort of in my teenage years, I was sort of very tall from about 17, probably. I was always tall, but kind of nice. Oh, you're the tallest in your class well sort of in my teenage years I was sort of very tall from about 17 probably I was always tall but kind of nice oh you're the tallest in your class and that's you know which is quite a fun thing to be you know that's what you want you want to be six two right that's what you know anyone who's five nine or six seven we all want to be six two uh and yes sort of 17 18 and when I was off to university which again is very you know so I'm sort of this guy who is much too tall and and is awkward about being tall, who can't see anything, who's quite an introvert anyway. And so, and sort of had this false self anyway, from when he was nine years old, and his dad left and everything's okay. So, you know,

there was a real sort of storm of things brewing there, as I say, all of which have brought me good things in the end. But, you know, I think, that you know I didn't I didn't live the life I should have done for many years because I was sort of hiding away from things some things I have to hide away from because with my eyesight I just can't it's not safe for me to do various things and some things just my height and sort of thing I'm gonna look stupid oh I'm gonna look stupid going on a roller coaster thing and also what if I cut what if my legs don't fit on that and you know just silly silly little things and you know the world will not the world is not shy and letting you know that you're weird you know that there's something weird about you and certainly that's what I felt I felt weird and of course as soon as you feel

weird you have to sort of you know you live with it and your behavior sort of changes and you're going to go oh no I am a weird person so I have to hide that away or explain away why I'm weird you know I'm very grateful that the one thing I always had was I was good with words I was able to put things into words I was always able to make people laugh and so I for years I've been able to paper over the cracks of all of that because I had all this stuff but I knew that I could sit in a room and make people laugh and I knew I could say the right things to people. And so I sort of, I got away with it for years and years and years, is the truth.