The Digression Sessions - Ep. 102 - Bob Rose! (AILBS)

Episode Date: December 27, 2013

Follow us on Twitter! @BetterRobotJosh @MichaelMoran10 @DigSeshPod Come see us do stand up and improv too! – DigressionSessions.com/Calendar Hola DigHeads! On this week’s Digression Sessions Podcast we have the very funny Bob Rose! Bob is a filmmaker as well as a co-host of the “An Innocent Looking Book Store” Podcast, recently voted “Best Podcast in Baltimore” by the City Paper. Yes, that’s right, we here at Baltimore’s number three podcast ain’t too proud to exploit those to whom we are resentful for the purpose of a great episode! Seriously though, Bob’s a great dude and we had a great time. Topics discussed this week include adolescent intercourse with inanimate objects (we all agree on warmed fruit as preferential), Bob’s habit of making award winning short films, and of course the scene in Ghost Dad where Bill Cosby gets urinated through. This was a real fun one guys and Bob is a unique personality . Thanks for all downloads DigHeads! Feel free to write all sorts of stupid juvenile crap on our Facebook wall. We love it all! And please check the Digression Sessions website for all of Josh and Mike’s Standup dates! We Love you!          

What was the line? I love ya! Uh, it is, uh, the digression sessions. Yeah, the digression sessions. Not your grandpa's third favorite podcast. In Baltimore. In Baltimore. The digression sessions.

Not your grandpa's third favorite podcast. In. In. Baltimore. Baltimore. In. I'm sorry. In.

En Español. Por Fútbol. Okay. Welcome to the Digression Sessions Podcast. Hey everybody, I'm Josh Koderna. And I'm Mike Moran. And you're listening to The Degression Sessions Podcast, a Baltimore-based comedy talk show

hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers. Join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence as we interview local and non-local comedians writers musicians and anyone else we find creative and interesting yes who's the guest this week bob rose is the guest on this week's program and bob is a filmmaker super funny dude and he's also a co-host of a very funny uh podcast called an innocent looking bookstore which is also hosted by Mr. Matthew Arnold Pye and a fellow named John DeCampos. Super funny podcast.

They do sketches and interviews. And all those guys are really cool. And they actually won Best Podcast of 2013. But, you know, good for them. But we all know it's all politics and, you know, backroom deals and, you know, whatever. More power to them, those fellas, those sweeties. No, it is a really good podcast, so check it out. It's called An Innocent Looking Bookstore, and it was cool to sit down with Bob. I met him recently doing some stuff on another podcast called Meanwhile at the Skull Base,

which has a lot of local comedians and then people involved in the Baltimore Rock Opera Society doing a podcast. We've mentioned a bunch on here. Check that out as well. And, yeah, Bob is just a super cool guy. So it was fun to sit down and talk to him about um fruits that he may or may not have been sexually attracted to at one time or another and uh kind of what he's been doing in filmmaking and of course talk about bill cosby uh the episode was a little bit shorter than a normal app because mike and i had to get to a color me funny show for their 100th show

and uh so we'll definitely have Bob back or maybe Bob and Matt or Bob, Matt and John. You know, I don't know. I don't know. Could be crazy. We could have a whole Flintstones, Jetsons, crazy and innocent looking bookstore digression sessions crossover craziness. I don't know. Anyway, check out Bob and the rest of the Innocent Looking Bookstore crew and their podcast on iTunes. And as far as the plugs go, your boy, Josh Cotton Candy Coderna. I got some shows coming up myself. January 3rd and 4th, I'll be performing at the Meadow Mill Theater here in Hamden, Baltimore. Beautiful Hamden, Baltimore. Beautiful Hamden, Baltimore.

January 3rd, 8 o'clock. It's our stand-up mash-up show. Mike and I will actually be co-hosting that. And it's going to be three stand-ups, three improv troupes. Troupes will be doing improv based off of the stand-up of three comedians. We have three super funny guys. Past guests, Ben O'brien and umar khan and then uh future guest isaac hirsch gonna be a lot of fun and then do an improv on saturday

uh january 4th with gus uh 8 p.m in meadow mill theater and then on january 8th mike will be doing improv at the meadowmill Theater as well. Man, I ran out of steam on those plugs. But yeah, come see us live. Come see us do our thing. We have stickers and T-shirts. Actually, we might be running out of T-shirts. But if you want some free Digression Sessions stickers,

hit us up on our Facebook page, just the Digression Sessions podcast. Find us on there. Thank you guys so much for listening. I know there's been a delay, but it's been hard to do episodes with the holidays, and I was sick, and blah, blah. And, you know.

Anyway, I really hope you guys had a good holiday session, good Christmas, good Kwanzaa, good what have you. You know, and hopefully your families didn't drive you too crazy. And, yeah, we're going to try to get more regular with the episodes and more regular with our fiber in our diets. But we love you guys very much. Thank you so much for listening. Follow us on Twitter. I'm at BetterRobotJosh.

My confidant, my co-pilot when Jesus calls out sick, Mr. Michael Moran. He's at Michael Moran's head and the podcast is at Dig Sesh Pod. And yeah, check out an innocent looking bookstore. And I'm done with this rambling intro. Let's get into the episode with old Bob Rose. I recognize Jen, Mike, Omar, Tommy, Stavros, Mike. I feel like you're at the optometrist office. Yeah. Okay.

Do you see a Ben O'Brien up there? Number one or number two? Should I cover one eye? Yeah. Is that Brian Preston or Mike Finanza? That is the best picture of Brian Preston that exists. Also, normally I don't sound like Badger from Breaking Bad. Oh, I'm out of here. Yeah.'t sound like Badger from Breaking Bad. Oh, I'm out of here.

Yeah. I sound like Badger from Breaking Bad right now. Who the hell is Badger, first of all? Did you not watch Breaking Bad? Not really. I watched like half of one episode. Mike's bad on most pop culture references. Oh, okay.

After like 2005, I feel. Yeah. Outside of like a few key things, I don't really. Yeah. I can do pre-2005 I'm just saying We're good Bob has a whole catalog More than 2005

2002 really Honestly once I got my life together I just never had any time It's a full time job To just resemble Kind of a normal human being for me. There's just no time for me. Will you please plug me the fuck in?

Plug yourself in. I'm only going to talk about Air Force One and Blade Two. That's it. Okay, good. That's my whole plan for this podcast. Excellent. Excellent. That was right about when I tuned out.

Okay, good. All right. Wait, what are we talking? Blade One or Blade Two? Blade Two. Blade Two. And Air Force One. Blade One and Air Force Two.

Yeah. Uh-huh. Why am I only hearing out of my right bud? Because my stuff is breaking down. All right, Mike? You ruined Christmas. Plug it in a little more, please. I can see why you guys didn't get number one.

See if he does. Bob, we'll deal with you in one second. Please. You stay out of this. We're proving why we shouldn't. Your mother and I are talking. Yeah. She's a good woman Alright

No it's in all the way Would you listen to me for a second You son of a bitch For some reason the jack is messed up And we can only hear in the left ear bud Okay Well then I have mine in backwards It should be the left

Or maybe I had it backwards Oh yeah This one has an L on it. So, I don't know. Look, Mike. I don't know. I wish you would just say left or right. Have we started?

Yeah, this is it. This is the podcast? Do you have anything to plug? We're about to wrap up. Oh, let me think. Every first Thursday of every month, Mondo Baltimore. No, I'm just kidding. Okay, great.

Just kidding. I think it's the second. It says that. They're all fake. No, let's. They're all, like, stretched to the brim across this table. I'm comfortable. I feel great.

Ever since Josh fixed the chair situation, I've been good. Yeah. Well, there is a plethora of chairs for you to choose from. There's like a stack of chairs right next to me. This is like an elementary school gymnasium. During a dance. Yeah. You guys provide, man. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. That's why we set up the disco dance. Yeah. Yeah. You guys provide, man.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. That's why we set up the disco ball and, you know. No, no, it's nice, man. And that I'm dressed up. I think the blow-up dolls are a little bit. Well, there had to be girls. Well, let's, you know. They look like they haven't been cleaned.

That's why. I'm not trying to jump on you guys. Right, yeah, yeah. Oh, Jesus. You know, you are a guest here. Yes. There's a crust that I don't like. That would be a fucking mistake if you did that, so just

don't do that. Well, not until we're done. Yeah, no, no, no. Anyway, you can take one of those dolls with you. Have fun. We'll sign it. We give a digression sessions doll to every guest. Yeah, what if we did that? Just signed them. There you go. I think that'd be a very expensive souvenir. Can we go broke from that?

Can you sign the tramp stamp? Digression session tramp stamp Have you guys ever in your masturbatory life Ever considered a blow up doll? Yeah Really? Sure I've considered it

I've never actually done it Never acted on it Definitely considered I considered everything I mean who's buying that man? Yeah I would never I don't know

I've made love to some ridiculous things And fantasized about making love to even more ridiculous i've done an orange and a watermelon what how do you fucking read something uh no not at the same time they don't get along look at me that's why it would be hot you reenact american psycho you're like hey orange don't just look at it eat it yeah i made i made the orange seeds in the tub first before we started. Of course. No, when I was, this is a great story.

When I was younger. When else would it have happened? When you were older? Right. No, not now. Eliminate needless words. I mean, for money, I might consider doing this. That's classic Mike Brown.

I microwaved an orange and I had sex with it. Okay. Yeah. I feel like it's a citrusy fruit. It is is it was a mistake and i would never do it now are we talking like prank territory here or you pranked yourself you really just wanted to get a adolescent discovery okay okay like i saw i could see how an orange would feel pretty vaginal it's not good like he said there's a citrus level. You just don't want a full one. Yeah, I feel like it's acidic.

Yeah. Right? Yeah, you want to go with like a honeydew. Everyone's acidic. A honeydew maybe will have less of a problem there. Yeah, I think that's why there's the classic watermelon. So then you moved on to the watermelon. Yeah, then I was like, okay, watermelon's going to have –

and watermelon was good. It's just the outside is very hard. Okay, so you didn't make – It's not mimicking a human being. Let's say that. You didn't make a hole beforehand. You just decided to pierce it. Oh, no, dude. I made a hole beforehand.

Okay, good. So let's say you have a... My dick isn't an ice pick. You have a sturdy, sturdy cock. Yeah, no, no. Ah, God. Sturdy, sturdy. Yeah, I rammed right into it so hard I lost two.

I used to be a porn star, and then I just kind of lost one. What about the old balls? Were they slamming up against the shell? Yeah, see the shell is so cold and hard it really ruins the whole ambiance and landscape of the sex. Oh, yeah. You want romance when you're fucking a watermelon. Maybe try a wet

paper towel. Stuff it under there. Or a paper towel dipped in petroleum jelly. I hear you're supposed to leave them in the sun so it gets kind of warm. You know, mimicking lady parts. What, like a vagina? Yeah, but with less seeds. What, like a vagina?

What are we talking here, vaginas? Yeah, yeah, vaginas! What do ladies have again? I got a story for you gents if we're talking vaginas. Yeah, it was 1953. We're in the name. I'm not recommending this to anybody. Okay.

I'm just admitting it. Right. I'm out there, so you judge me. You know what the worst thing I ever did was, I think? Go for it. I killed a guy once. No. The worst mass mortuary thing I did was I-

I was going to say, it's not that bad. He fucked an orange. Yeah, we've all killed people. Come on, buddy. Jesus. I tried it with Icy Hot. I didn't really know what Icy Hot was. Oh, it's not that bad. He fucked an orange. Yeah, we've all killed people. Come on, man. Jesus. I tried it with Icy Hot. I didn't really know what Icy Hot was. Oh, don't do that.

Don't do that. Yeah. And it was like, I was screaming in pain. Yeah. Well, you think it's going to be an experience. Right, right. It's like, I'm fucking a mountain animal. Yeah, yeah.

I had no idea it was going to be that intense. It was some of the worst pain I've ever felt in my life, I think. And did it make it worse that you couldn't tell anybody? Were you living with your mom at this point? I was at my dad's. I was at my dad's. This is really weird. He was away.

He's at work or whatever. He left a giant tub of Icy Hot in the kitchen. Mike, I'm going to work. Don't fuck my gallon drum of Icy Hot. Use the Bengay instead. I didn't in the kitchen. Mike, I'm going to work. This is... Don't fuck my gal in drum of icy hot. Use the Bengay instead. I didn't raise no fool. This is almost the truth of it.

I think he smelled it later, and I was like, oh, yeah, my... He could tell that I used it. Did you put your dick in the jar? No. Oh, okay. That's what I thought, because I thought you were both like... No, dick in the jar? No. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's what I thought because I thought you were both like, I need a jar. No, I used it as lubrication. Oh, okay.

And I... But how did he smell it? Like in the house? I think I just... I guess I didn't take a shower and I just... Oh, okay. And so I told him like I put it on my leg or something, you know, like my leg was bothering me.

I saw it in there. Third leg. See, I would have went right for the jar, man. I mean, because I wouldn't have had the consideration well bob you're an animal i mean obviously i mean obviously i'm fucking no can i finish no can i finish let's get this guy's a micey hot so he can finish thank you but then my dad was like uh oh yeah it's pretty helpful for that and then he was like just make sure you don't get it on your private parts fyi you know what that means right it means your dad has done

the very very apple tree everything and then i had to tell i wanted to tell this story to other people but this was before the great masturbation liberation of 97 where i got all my friends to admit that they masturbated yeah and we had to hide it because for some reason it was taboo and uh oddly enough the same year the air force one came out yeah no coincidence yeah i don't and we had to hide it because for some reason it was taboo. Oddly enough, the same year that Air Force One came out. Coincidence? I don't think so. I think not. I had to tell my friend Chris Carman, who is currently

my roommate, that I put it on my balls because my balls hurt. I don't know why I could have just not said anything. What? Like, well, I gotta tell him. What can I tell him that makes sense? I put it on my aching

balls. Apparently I didn't realize that I had a sack in front of... I don't know why I thought the skin in front of my balls would... What, you're saying you didn't know that there was a difference? I guess not. You thought balls were just loose sacks

of fluid? Is that what you're saying? Like saying i didn't realize i had balls in there yeah no but if i why would i put it on my sack like to hurt to help my balls unless my sack hurt well isn't icy hot it's to stop pain right i mean that's yeah isn't it for soreness in general like muscles yeah but if my balls hurt my balls hurt it's not it's not to seep all the way through my scrotum and penetrate each testicle. Absorbed into. I'm not saying to do it, but what do you think would happen if you shoved it up your ass? Like if you dipped your finger. Oh, that hurt.

My testicles? Yes. I mean, that would take a lot of like. Do you ever worry about that? You're going to like sit on one and it's going to pop right up your butt. Yeah. Jesus Christ. I don't think my balls are loose enough to get up there.

I got a pretty loose sack. You got a loose sack. I feel like if it's warm enough that my skin has some good elasticity that day, still couldn't do it. Really?

No. I think you need something dangling, man, unless your ass is like loose as shit. You have giant like balls probably or maybe not giant

but the right shape. If your ass is like Steven Tyler's mouth. It needs to be big. I wish. You do have all those scarves on your butthole, though, don't you? So the Icy Hot Jar doesn't fall far from the Icy Hot Jar tree, huh? So you think your dad used this Icy Hot on his balls?

Do you guys ever have your parents on as guests? I tried to get my dad on. He didn't want to do it. He's like, ah, you'll just make fun of me. I'm like, no, we wouldn't. I'm saying, if you got your dad on, man. Yeah. Finally get to the bottom of this whole thing.

Dad, we brought you. It's not like it's a mystery that's been bothering me for 15 years. You have like the, what is it? A beautiful mind. He has like all those pictures on the wall with lines going to each other and stuff. Icy hot dad. You're trying to solve it. Pieces of yarn.

Yeah, exactly. Connecting all the newspaper clippings and all that. Bob gets it. I don't see why that's analogous of what I'm talking about. Because you're trying to solve if your dad ever used it. Okay. Wow, what is happening? I don't know, man.

Do you get this much support on your 2006 reference i guess yeah who is russell crowe yeah i don't know i don't know like it's a mystery like dad there's something i've always wanted to ask you yeah it's been on my mind for years that was literally what we were just riffing on that was the joke i see hot on your pulse all right do i get this kind of problem on our podcast? Yeah. An innocent-looking bookstore. Yes. An innocent-looking bookstore.

I'm a co-host. You and old Matty Pie. Matty Pie and John DeCampos. John DeCampos. The number one local podcast in Baltimore. I don't want to talk about that pod. Actually, let me. Yeah.

Congratulations on your award. Thank you. We weren't even expecting it so we've made fun of it we didn't even have a speech prepared yeah hey it's an honor just to be nominated sure you know hey three out of like what 50 how many are in baltimore five five six seven who knows there's gotta be what like hundreds right in baltimore so yeah i guess so yeah if you think about it that's kind of awesome yeah well you guys got a pretty good guest yeah yeah yeah yeah um you've had your fair share now let me ask you this i'm gonna ask you the tough question right up top i know you've already

told us that you fucked uh fruit salad basically many of fruit well separated segregated i feel like an apple would have made it a salad Okay Yeah Okay That's very hard though It's a very hard fruit You're gonna wanna microwave

That one for a bit Apple pie Oh yeah I don't wanna be derivative Yeah You don't wanna be a cliche Yeah Now with the vote

Did you just fart What Jesus Christ Nice Jesus Christ Trying to Trying to ask him a serious question here. Sorry.

Why haven't you ever fucked an apple? Go back to balls. With the voting, the rules were pretty loose. It was like the Wild West of the Internet once the top three were in there. Are you asking if we cheated? I didn't ask. Mike, did I ask that? I didn't hear him say that.

I did not ask. We did not cheat. We were accused of cheating by another podcast. Who? They were kidding. It wasn't anything serious. In fact, I like that podcast, The Fighting Ungers. They were joking that we were young hackers.

And I was like, we're all like 30. We don't know anything about anything. We barely get this podcast together. Yeah, yeah. I was like like zero cool let's do this no no we uh i voted on my phone and my laptop and my mac so uh-huh those are the only three votes that bob rose made right so that's sort of cheating i guess because i voted on separate devices right but you guys didn't do that oh no we cheated yeah i was gonna say no we did we we

like we probably did like that yeah it was stuff like that what was like i'll vote at home once in the morning then when i get to work right and i mean i went like hey mom i'm gonna vote for you in a thing that you don't care about yeah she's like okay so i feel like that vote that's one vote that i didn't cheat yeah i honestly you get somebody else to vote, then that's not cheating. But she doesn't listen to any of these, so it's like her vote is... Right. She told me that she's a dighead.

Still not against the rules to vote. I heard Mrs. Rose was a dighead. This is fucked up. I changed her vote, so... No! It's all out! No, yeah. You guys lost by one, so...

Fuck. What if we did? That would be horrible. You can't really lose by one. You can tie by one, so. Fuck. What if we did? That would be horrible. You can't really lose by one. You can tie by one. Oh, yeah. What? Yeah.

Lost by two? Lost by two, yeah. Yeah. We also got Best Offensive Podcast. Oh, good for you. Which I think is a hilarious award because it assumes that there's a plethora of Baltimore offensive podcasts. Hey, welcome back to the cunt cast.

Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. Nazi, Nazi, Nazi. It's plot time. Am I drinking cum? You bet. Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. We're the best, apparently, of all the cunts. We beat cuntcast. Yeah. Pentagrams

of cum. Anyway, next week's episode. Instagrams. We weren't expecting that. Yeah, I think it's great. I think it's great. Yeah, sure. Pentagrams will come Anyway Next week's episode Instagrams We weren't expecting that We didn't Yeah I think it's great I think it's great Yeah sure We'll take it Yeah

You guys You had the army Of the bros behind you We did Which I think was good Which is good We love the bros I mean

Basically we are bros So Right You know the bros are amazing The Baltimore Rock Hopper Society Yeah They have a lot of people Yeah

What you're saying is You had the black vote in Baltimore. You're saying that. Because we try to cater to them a lot. We talk about Madea movies. Yeah. Tootie. Tootie? Tootie?

Yeah. A lot of Tootie references. That's a Tootie reference. You ever talk to Jaleel White? Who is that? Steve Urkel? Yeah. We call him Urkel. I don't knowD reference. You ever talk to Leo White? Who is that? We've. Steve Urkel? Yeah, we call him Urkel.

I don't know his name. I mean, he was a human being. That's your opinion. Anyway, Mike, how's your week been? How you doing? Good? Okay. But no, I'm glad that you guys won.

No, you're not. But that's cool, man. We're glad that you won. We've made fun of it you're not but that's cool we're glad that you won we've made we would have liked you to be number two right behind you guys you guys got number two right no we got three you're number three which is pretty put you at number two i think that's me so you're saying we're shit i'm saying that we're better we're number one in the shit business here let me give you this. Let me just say this. I'll put this out there.

Break it down. And I'm learning this right now from today, like the last 30 minutes. Really? The reason you might want to let us have that number one shot is because to record one episode of our podcast takes around seven hours. Yeah. Why? Because we kind of engineered it when we have a guest in order to make, we feel in order to make like the conversation as interesting as possible, we'd write the skit and the commercial first.

And that takes, depending on how drunk high or how lazy and awful we are for five hours. Yeah. We record the talking. Right. Yeah. We, we attempted to do some skits and stuff early on.

And then we're like, Hey, let's just, let's just not plan anything and talk. It's way easier that way. Well, I'm not knocking and talking. I love to talk. Don't get me wrong.

There's times where we have to do a podcast, and I'm like, man, I wish we could just get in there and bullshit. But we hunker down. We do it every episode. So if anything, we put around six, seven hours in every episode. Wow. Not to mention what Matt does as far as editing. I always make the image. I spend about two hours on the image. Yeah, there's a lot of post-production too which is it's good

though it's it's a fun listen i mean is it the number one podcast i don't know i mean mike how's your week what if i just brought you on to just like just get me a dick the whole time how's your week man no that sounds good for you bob but anyway mike what the fuck what's up that would be a good prank to do sometime. Just invite somebody on. Just trash them. Or just completely ignore them. Like 100% ignore them.

Yeah. Well, I am at the end of this table. You guys are really close. Anyway, Josh, my idea. Bob, I will cut your mic off. You interrupt again. Go ahead, Mike. You already made a Ross Perot joke, so I can't.

Can I finish? Yeah. Can I finish? Can I't... Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish? Did he really say that? Can I finish? I mean, Dana Carvey said it, so I assume he did. I don't know.

That's where I get all my Ross Perot knowledge. That's where I get most of my knowledge, period. Straight off Dana Carvey. Reruns of the Dana Carvey show. Carvapedia. 1993, it has everything you need to know. period. Just straight up Dana Carvey. Yeah. Reruns of the Dana Carvey show. Carvapedia. 1993. It has everything you need to know.

Yep. I tried watching his newer stand-up special a couple years ago. Yeah. The newer one ain't too good.

But his first one I'm going to move Bob's mic closer. Keep talking. You're good. I'm good? Yeah. I'm just going to

move it closer. Keep talking. His first special around 95 was really good. Really? Yeah. i loved the dana carvey show when it was on good i thought it was hilarious dana carvey shows good stuff uh-huh remember like every week it was like the pepsi dana carvey show or like the like you had a different sponsor every week that was a good joke oh yeah that's great i think they probably

actually made the chevy chase show let's say that yeah i never actually watched that did you uh i've watched one episode and there's a reason it got canceled really i saw the one where he dropped the cake was that for like goldie hawn's daughter or son or something it was somebody's birthday and he just dropped the entire cake like at their feet basically oh yeah he's a bad man he's a bad man um dan harman told a story recently about working with chevy chase because he was on community and he said one time they were on the lot and they were uh there was like a hot dog stand or something and uh they went up to the the hot dog stand it was like part of craft

services and the guy that was working it was like holy shit you're chevy chase oh my god and they'd been working like a 13 hour day or something they're just exhausted and chevy chase is like a known asshole really yeah like he's just a dick and uh he's like yeah yeah and he's like man my sister's not gonna believe this she's your biggest fan i gotta call her right now and he called the hot dog guy calls her up and then hands chevy the phone and chevy just takes the phone he goes who's this laura it's chevy chase what the fuck you want? And then like walked off with the phone And apparently it was like super nice But you know I like that he did do that

I'm a huge Chevy Chase fan But it sucks he's an asshole Oh my god it's Mike Moran You know and they want to take pictures with me And talk to me and stuff Have sex with you It's usually like record the sex man you want to microwave pictures at their cantaloupe yeah um so wait chevy chase one of your

faves as far as movies vacation movies go yes okay okay yeah clark clark griswold's a classic character i mean the perfect dad character probably that we'll ever get in CinemaDome. Right. You know, but yeah, I'm a big Chevy Chase fan. Apparently he's never heard of a little thing called Ghost Dad. Oh, boy. Ghost Dad, just saying. That was a good Bill Cosby.

I'm sick. I can do a way better Bill Cosby right now. Okay, do a sick Bill Cosby. He just found out he has full-blown AIDS. You sit down, you're telling me I'm going to die is what you're saying the lesions on my face and the smell like paprika i don't know nailed it yeah sure you forgot the jello pudding the jello pudding i'm pretty sure it's a law that no one in america is allowed to do a bill cosby impression without mentioning Jell-O pudding. I would have got there eventually, but I quit before it got embarrassing.

It was good. It was good? I liked it. Yeah, it was good. I've actually made a friend shit his pants. What? By doing the Bill Cosby impression. It'd be funny if you just ended the sentence there.

Just a segue. Just shit his pants. Let's talk about that for a bit. I just put a cow prod into his stomach. He's dead. Yeah, he's just intestines a cow prod into his stomach. He's dead. Yeah, he did die. His intestines failed immediately. He should have passed before death, though.

And don't we all. Mike, how's your week now? Wait, you did what? Just because you were cracking him up so hard? Have you ever had a thing where you had a joke with your friends and they found it way too funny? Yeah. And you're like, this is not that funny. I'm going to do it because I'm a fucking narcissist and i want to get the laughs sure well my one friend thought whenever i did the

cosby voice he basically laughed to the point of like you don't hear him anymore you know what i mean so i started quoting ghost dad and i started quoting the scene where he gets pissed through you remember that somebody pisses through ghost dad no way i don't really remember ghost except doesn't he go through the phone at one point like he comes out he actually transverses electrical lines right he goes through the receiver right hey i saw that movie in the theater and i don't think i've seen it since yeah well well how this is from yeah this is from memory me and him both were talking about like remember the scene where he got pissed through and i was and he was like yeah yeah and so and i just started quoting that like as if it exists it might not actually sounds pretty funny right so I just started saying excuse

me like like him and my friend laughed so hard I just saw like that well of piss and he's like dude I gotta go to the bathroom I just totally like shit in my pants so you had to go take a shower and everything sure because of me quoting a scene from a movie that might not exist. We're not exactly sure. What is the scenario that Bill Ghost Dad Cosby found himself in to get pissed? I think he was going to the bathroom and he was at a urinal. And somebody just walked over behind him. Yeah, but somebody used the urinal.

Do you know who directed that movie, by the way? Who? Sidney Poitier. What? A lot of people told me. Sir Sidney Poitier? Sir Sidney poitier what a lot of people sir sydney poitier ghost dad the film is called ghost dad see pre-2006 i don't see how i wouldn't have thought that that was so funny that i would remember it to this day yeah or that a young mike moran

wouldn't shit himself young mike moran would have found that to be like the most hilarious thing bill cosby's ghost getting pissed through? His ghost getting pissed through! They've done everything! Give them the Oscar. Yeah, it's over. Oh, my God. You know what movie killed me when I was a little problem child?

Oh, yeah. The ending, he opens... He comes out of a suitcase or something. And there's a cow's balls right in his face. Right, yeah, yeah. Those are the funniest things I've ever seen. And then he, for some reason, he carries a dried prune around. What?

Yeah, he gets shot in the prune. Yeah, there's something like MacGuffin with the prune. Like, oh, my granddad passed this on to me. His dad was insane, and he gave him a prune to remember him by. And, like, for some reason, he gets shot at the end, and he pulls him out. And John Ritter goes, oh, no, I'm okay. They got me right in the prune. And for some reason, I thought that was the funniest thing I've ever heard.

Like, I think I thought that that meant, like, dick or something. No, it meant literally prune. There's no joke. I thought there was, like, a double entendre there or something. I thought it was the funniest thing. I was, like, howling as I left the theater. There's no joke i thought there's like a double entendre there or something that was the funniest thing i was like howling as i left the theater there's a joke there's a joke in the second problem child movie that even when i was a kid i like questioned the science of it and it was because there was this dog food apparently that gave dogs serious like it gave dogs diarrhea or something and it was like a tiny like wiener dog ate the food and then you hear this

like you know like that kind of sound yeah they show the dog walking away from a pile that's literally like you know yeah i remember that three thirty gallons of shit yeah and as a kid i was like that all couldn't have fit in the dog yeah i was like i was like angry at it. I remember thinking that as well. Yeah, I do also Jurassic Park Immediately what I was thinking shit piles were too big. I mean that was a for the triceratops Would be like angle To be fair we'd have never seen a shit Right through the looking glass people

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely want to move my leg around this. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Make yourself comfortable over there. Could you hear me the first half? Yeah, we could hear you. That's an area mic, so it might have to sound a little more spacious

than direct on your beautiful pipes. They're so beautiful. A little less spacious, a little more direct. I didn't want to divert the Jurassic Park talk. No, no, no. That is a good question, though. Right. Is that how the shit is?

And how did they get dinosaurs? Well, there's that. Why didn't they explain the shit thing in the little cartoon where he's... Don, no DNA! I haven't seen Jurassic Park in a long time. I would think the shit pile would be lower. Had to be. Well, yeah.

Because it was a really high pile. Yeah. It was like a Hershey kiss mound, wasn't it? Right, and the anus of the dinosaur would only... Your anus wouldn't go right to where the tip of the pile would be. That's the one thing they fucked up. It's like they all shit out of their tails. We know that.

We know that. Right at the end of their tail. That's where the shit comes out. That's the inaccuracy of the ship. They actually have humps full of shit that they carry. That's what it is. They store the poop in the hump. Yeah. The poop the inaccuracy. They actually have humps full of shit that they carry. That's what it is. They store the poop in the hump.

Yeah, the poop hump, I believe it's called. They figured it out, you know. Yeah, of course. Speaking of origins, let's get the origin of Mr. Bob Rose over there. What's your story, fella? I'm really...

I mean, I'm not a comedian. Yeah. Obviously, if you haven't fucking realized that yet. You're a funny man, though. I'm funny in theory, but not like. In practice. In practice. I feel people are always like telling me I'm funny.

I'm like. You're the communism of funny. Sure. That sounds good. Good on paper. I guess your best thing you can say is I'm a local filmmaker. Okay. But I also do the podcasting thing.

And that kind of gives me the persona of a comedian, even though I don't do stand-up. Well, if you do a comedy podcast, I think that makes you a comedian. Sure. Like I said, I think I'm funny, but I'm not like a joke teller. Right. I think our podcast works much like any podcast is that me and my friends have a rapport. A rapport that we've had for years. Yeah yeah we just exploited that to make the podcast but um i mean but yeah but we're not like trying to tell jokes it sounds so weird to say that like we're just exploiting we're exploiting

our own friendship um yeah so i'm not a comedian or anything you got like a ton of great fucking comedians on the walls here i'm more i consider I consider myself and Dan Lyle. I love Dan. God bless Dan Lyle. I know, he's great. And Mike Fonazzo, let's be honest. Mikey,

I was just listening to your guys' episode with him. I was, this cold was coming on as I was doing that episode. I was completely miserable. That's good. I'm sorry, Mike. It just happened.

I couldn't help it. It was just. Well, yeah, and you guys argued about Dumb and Dumber too for like two hours, I think. Yeah, I know.

Dumb and Dumber or the upcoming season hours, I think. Yeah, I know. Dumb and Dumber or the upcoming season? It wasn't even arguing about the movie. It was arguing about a Facebook thread in which we were both joking. Yeah. But we were for some reason assuming it was serious. Yeah. Yeah. He's a filmmaker, too, and a comedian.

So I guess me and him have that friction. Yeah. Only one. There can be only one. Yeah, and they were just arguing about the merits of Dumb and Dumber. Dumb and Dumber 2. 2. There's 2.

2. Not the prequel. The one that's being made by the Farrelly brothers, which Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels now. Now, are they going to take Dumb and Dumber into canon is the question. No. No? The Farrelly brothers don't consider that canon. Oh, they didn't direct that?

No, they have nothing to do with it. Yeah, interesting. Much like Ace Ventura Jr. Yeah. Right um or titanic 2 so yeah i'm not yeah right i said no the return of jack zombie jack i'd watch titanic 2 i've never seen titanic to be honest with you i've never seen i avoided don't tell them what happens at the end okay they both live yeah i thought they had they become avatars. That too. Yeah.

They live so long they become avatars. Avatars? That's what happens when you live long. Yeah. Live long and become an avatar. If you live this long, you'd be an avatar by now. Is that enough of an origin? No.

Is that what you were looking for? How did you get the Adamtanium clause? Adamtanium? Is that what it's called? Adamantium. Adam the Adam-tanium clause? Adam-tanium? Is that what it's called? Adamantium. Adamantium. That happened in the 90s. That should have been.

That's your ballpark, man. I want to excuse you on that one, but yeah. Adamantium. Whatever. Like Adamant? Adamant. How did you become Adamant? No.

So you got into film first. So were you making movies? I mean, let's be honest here. I've never made a full-length movie. I've made a bunch of shorts. And a bunch of pants. A bunch of pants. Sometimes overalls.

But a movie? I don't have the time. Don't have the time. I got a lot of stuff going on. I'm busy doing things, talking to people. Shorts, pants. Shorter pants. Hey, you, what's your name?

All right, moving on. I love talking to people. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I help a lot of other filmmakers, and I make my money doing editing. Oh, okay, okay. Who knows what I do? What kind of shorts do you make?

Well, the most famous one is the last one I made, which was a chicken commercial on another planet. Chicken commercial. Okay. All right. How long does that work? That was 20 minutes. 20 minutes. Yeah.

What's the synopsis of a chicken commercial on another planet? Two friends fight over the fact that one of them ruined the other's cake. Oh. That's cake. Oh. That's it. Okay. And trouble ensues. Of course. I'm not going to say much more than that.

It's called Poetry Betwixt Friendship. I won two awards and was on Anna Cool News with it. Nice. Really? That's it. That's all right. That's my whole life. That's all I've ever accomplished.

That's awesome. That and the podcast awards. That's not bad. I can shoot myself in the head now. Those are two awards that we do not have. No. They mean nothing. I mean, no one cares who I am, so it's fine. That and the podcast awards. That's not bad. I can shoot myself in the head now. Those are two awards that we do not have. No. They mean nothing. I mean, no one cares who I am, so it's fine.

Okay. Okay. That makes me feel a little better. Yeah. I work with Chris Lamartino a lot, too. Yeah, that's what I figured. Yeah. You probably fell in with him being a local filmmaker fella as well.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I help him. I worked on Call Girl Cthulhu. Uh-huh. Are you editing that? No, but I was assistant editing, and I basically set everything up. Nice. Yeah, I do a lot of stuff.

But I guess you could say that I'm known for the podcast, which to me is I'm proud of it. Yeah. And it's weird because I never thought that would be a thing. Yeah. So you guys were just screwing around just kind of uh we had a podcast before bookstore called horrible universe we made about back in the 80s back in the 80s uh we all did coke way too much right and i don't know what it is either but let's do it we'll release it on fucking come on floppy disks and just throw them into the street floppy we'll write

to blimp and throw out floppy disks. Come on. That didn't work, so we ended up like a year and a half ago. What did you just put them on cassettes? Yeah, we should have. No, we wanted it to be digital. We knew that that was the future. Right. So we were like, we've got to compress it down to 1.44 megabytes.

That's a really weird joke. A 3.5 floppy disk was... Oh, sorry. See, I'm making a joke joke. A 3.5 floppy disk was... Oh, sorry. See, I'm making a joke. I'm trying. Oh, yeah! Really?

That's not common knowledge? It probably is. Do you remember, like, was it 1.5 inch or... I don't know. I wasn't paying attention. Riveting shit right here. Move the fuck on, Bob. In computer class, it was just like, when can we get to playing the game with the paper airplane?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or flying the 3D plane. Oregon Trail. Oh, Oregon Trail. When is the best time to go on a journey for Oregon? What do you guys say? Not during a snowstorm, probably. I always left during the spring.

I would go to spring. You got to decide when to leave? Yeah. I'm pretty sure you got to pick the month right you guys remember that no yeah i know i do i do remember you got to it's a nice time to leave exactly i do remember when you died you got to write your name on the tombstone for the next people that, here lies butt, a hairy butt. That's gold right there. I hope you had just seen Problem Child 2 like the day before. It probably was that era. Best week ever.

It probably was that era. He got me in the prune. A butt, a hairy butt. That's the way he said it too. He's just like, yeah, They got me in the prune John Ritter was really good At subtle Yeah definitely

I love John Ritter man I'm a big fan He didn't really get his due In my opinion Yeah Like I know he's dead now But Yeah

I just watched I was watching It today On YouTube He's good in It But as a comedic actor He had a lot more in him Yeah Yeah

He was great in Sling Blade Real talk guys Sling Blade he was great He was awesome Yeah Sling Blade. Real talk, guys. Real talk. Sling Blade, he was great. He was awesome. Funny, huh? So, yeah. Mustard dough on biscuits? That was weird.

Also, being gay? What's up with that? Yeah, who does that? How does that work? Come on. Oranges. Oranges and watermelons exist. Come on, guys.

What are you fellas thinking? Were you worried that you might get the fruit pregnant? Did that cross your mind at all? I mean, I figured it's not a bad thing. It's just more fruit for my family. Yeah, but it'd be a human fruit. Don't you know anything about biology? It'd be human fruit.

What are all these tiny clementine oranges doing all over the place? All the oranges have holes in them, Bob. Do you know about that? No? Just trying to make more oranges, Mom. Yeah, what did you do with the orange afterward? I mean, I threw it away. You didn't eat it? I think I squished Yeah, what did you do with the orange afterward? I mean, I threw it away. You didn't eat it?

I think I squished it. What do you do with anything you fuck? You throw it away. Oh! See, here's the thing with an orange. You can't eat it after you fuck it because there's so much loose corpuscles in there and shit. You don't want to end up eating your own stuff. That's one of the grossest words I've ever heard in that context.

I don't know. What do you call that? What do you call that? What do you call that? You know what I'm saying? Like the pulp? I guess it would be. You stick your dick in there furiously. Yeah.

You can't be sure that there's areas of the orange you can cut off with a knife. It'll be safe to consume. Okay. Without eating your own crotch. You don't want to eat around it. No. Yeah. No.

It's done. It's thrown away. It's done. The watermelon, though. Yeah. You probably could give it like a three inch safety margin around the dick entry. Uh's done. It's thrown away. It's done. The watermelon, though. Yeah. You probably could give it like a three-inch safety margin around the dick entry. Uh-huh. It'd be okay.

I would just buy another watermelon. They're pretty cheap. You got to leave the house. Right. I mean. Yeah. How did you get away with hiding the fact that you made a watermelon disappear? The watermelon, if I was correct.

Did you grow up on a watermelon farm? My parents were not. They were away for the weekend. That was like a whole sexy thing. So when they came back, you're like, oh, my God, I've eaten so much watermelon. I definitely didn't have sex with it. I'll tell you that. How was your trip, guys?

How was your weekend, Mike? Hey, Mike. See, that was your whole plan. You're like, mom and dad are going to be out in the house. How long were you planning this? That slutty watermelon's been looking at me This was like one weekend Where the fruit thing happened

Never again, I'm ashamed of it But I'm owning it on this podcast I appreciate that Mike said that he's used the icy hot I think I used toothpaste at one point On accident Well, I was brushing my teeth in the shower And then I was like, oh You used the Icy Hot. I think I used toothpaste at one point on accident. On accident? Well, I was brushing my teeth in the shower,

and then I was like, oh. I was kind of like frothing up a little bit. It sounds like an accident to me. I like the idea that you're turned on by the froth of it. It was a little bit in my hand. So, yeah. Hey, I went out on a limb for you guys here, all right? Tell us about that. Going out on a limb. There used to all right tell us about that going out on a limb there used to be

um me and matt pie yeah matt pie the uh host of in a slugging bookstore used to have a joke about visiting this site called jack and world i don't know if it still exists he finds the weirdest shit on the internet matt pie is the is like a jedi knight of finding horrible the weird stuff on the internet but this was like literally 97 98 ish like i was still in high school and there was he found this website called jack and world yeah and it was just a collective of dudes on a message board talking about different ways to jack off and we used to make fun of like things that you'd read on there like there was the bicycle spokes which was basically you just hold your dick and you take the other hand and you open palm it and you go across the tip as hard and fast as you can with your fingers until you finish that's so horrible it's terrible there was the cow udder where you just basically jerk off downward into a bucket

why does it have to be a bucket because it kind of works with the cow theme. Okay. Right. And there was also a lot of instructions on how to fuck toilet seats and stuff. What? Mattresses, couches. Couches. Yeah, they would give you instructions on how to do it.

Wow. And it wasn't a joke? No, it was serious. Yeah. I have no... Check it out. JackandWorld.com. I'm going to plug that.

That's what you're here to promote, right? I'm here to promote that. Hi, I'm Bob Rosen. Yeah. Jack in the world. They might actually have directions for an orange on there. I don't know. That's a picture of you with your orange.

Your orange is in the Jack in the World Hall of Fame. And it says it's a looking book store. You won one podcast. You swept the Jackies in 1998. Yeah. Couldn't have done it without this orange, guys. First of all, I'd like to thank God. Lord, Savior, Jesus Christ.

Or I'm next to a snowman-type concoction with an orange and a watermelon. It's made into a fuck doll, but it's out of different pieces of fruit. You call it your wife, Shelly. Right. I'm actually really interested to to see if that exists if Jack and World still exists I don't know look it up look it up I mean you can look it up uh you know here's where I pretend it's not in my history what's it how you spell that Jack in little did I know that I was reading tips by Josh like like like 15 years ago hey guys you

should fill a plastic bag with lube and then put it between a couch cushion. It's great. Have fun, guys. Yep, yep. Jack and World still exists. Let's see it. The ultimate male masturbation resource. Online since 1996. I thought that was pornography.

Really? Dedicated to former U.S. Surgeon General Jocelyn Elder. Can I ask you guys something? I like how they're so proud that they've been online since 1996. Yeah, like we've... A family operation. We've thought that out. and elders. I like how they're so proud that they've been on lines since 1996. Yeah. We've a family operation. We've thought that out. We're not one of those corporate Jack and worlds just pop up all over the place.

We're just good old folks like you. We know that in these tough times, you're a Jack and world. Now, let me ask you guys something. Would it have been sadder if I was lying about Jack and World? I believe you. Or was it sadder that it actually existed?

What's sadder here? I don't know. I hadn't thought that you would make that up. No, I mean, I didn't. Unless you're just like, oh, no, I saw it in Jack and World. I didn't come up with that idea. Yeah, I didn't. How about some sick fucking degenerate that would fuck a fruit without a predisposed plan it's been told another another one i tried was uh the um the roll the toilet roll

and i filled it with lube fucking sick and the reason i did that was because i don't know if you guys experienced this but when you actually started having sex uh i remember thinking like this is this is uh weird like it's way's way too, it's not the same. Oh, it was phenomenal. And so I thought I needed to get more familiar with the vagina shape. Yeah, I mean, honestly, these household made vaginas don't really compare at all. So like, until I had sex, I'm like, you know, when I first had sex, I'm like, this isn't, what is this? There's no fucking watermelon season.

Excuse me, madam. Watermelon, you are not. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, no. Yeah. Did you have that experience too? Or it's like, it's cool that I'm doing this, but like, it's. Itmelon, you are not. Thank you. Yeah, no. Did you have that experience too? Or it's like, it's cool that I'm doing this, but like it's...

It's not what I expected. Yeah. I mean, it's better. Yeah, you sound disappointed though. As far as like the actual physical feeling? It's kind of open for a paper towel roll to be in between your legs. No, but for a long time I was, as far as like the... I mean, I was excited.

I would like do anything just to touch a boob in high school. I was excited about anything and everything. That's why when you were saying the doll thing, it's like, yeah, I thought about everything. It was phenomenal. I do remember thinking, physically, this doesn't feel as good as me jerking off. Yeah.

Wow. That's heavy shit, man. That's sad. I actually did read something about how because of internet porn yeah young boys

are actually masturbating so furiously and so often now as they grow up that they actually don't enjoy sex nearly as much because the vagina

cannot give the amount of pressure and speed that a human hand can exactly that's what I was saying we're actually ruining human sex.

I think I was a chronic masturbator. I think I did it even more than most guys honestly. So when you had sex, you're like, this is good, but it's not the real thing. No, I was pretty excited about the whole thing, but it was a little bit of a letdown. But it was almost like I liked other stuff better than the actual

hand job, blowjob type stuff. Okay. A little bit of a letdown. But it was almost like I liked other stuff better than the actual doing it. So you're like hand jobs. Hand job, blow job type stuff, you know? Okay. Like, I don't know. It was weird. I can't say that that happened for me, but I get where you're coming from. I can get the- No pun intended.

No pun intended. You just had the podcast. Thank you, Bob. Now, I'm cock sure that happened to you. No pun intended. I don't want to be a dick. But dick. I'm not sure that happened to you. No pun intended. I don't want to be a dick. Not saying you're a pussy. The fact that that's an actual problem, though, is hilarious and sad.

Well, also, I hear that they're super aggressive, too. Because all the porn now, it's like there's the choking and spitting and all that stuff. It's all gonzo pornography. There's no lovemaking anymore. It's just hardcore fucking. It's not like porn was ever all that tender. Yeah. But in the 70s, it was like a fully was ever all that tender. Yeah.

But in the 70s, it was like a fully produced movie. Yeah. Shitty. But 70s porn was like really depraved, too. Like they had some storyline, but it would always be really like sick or like it would be like, you know, older, younger, like, you know. Yeah. There was that like almost rapey thing. Yeah.

Girl. Yeah. Sent it just like, no, Mr. OK. Yeah. Yeah. It was always like, yeah, you know, you was that like almost rapey thing yeah girl yeah sent it just like no mister okay yeah yeah it was always like yeah you know you want it yeah like did debbie really want to do do dallas did she really i don't know or is she just like i'm here so i guess i'll give in as well do it i mean there was human beings before porn so i guess we're comparing right we're comparing sex show me human sexuality before born to after that was just a bunch of boys like yeah i can't be yeah i had the internet but it was just dial

up so like you know i didn't have what they have at their fingertips like i had pictures of boobs that's it it wasn't like hardcore pornography video yeah yeah there yeah. There's no porn hub. Right. I mean, especially a little handheld device that could fit in here. That just had tons of limitless porn. Even to this day, I'm almost like, I can't believe I'm not looking at porn all day long. It's like, you know what? Good for you, Mike. Good for you. It's hard.

It is hard sometimes. Think of how much ready-mademade porn like that like streaming pornography cuts down on like art like people just not creating or making new great writing great things i don't have time how would i why would i bother writing this novel when i could go to red tube and watch like three japanese girls squirt into somebody's face do you think like uh back in the day like the nude paintings that they would do do do you think that was masturbation material? Oh, yeah, sure. Probably.

What else would you have? Yeah. Well, yeah. Why even do it? You know what I mean? If you're not going to be able to masturbate to it. At that point, you're probably so sensitive, you could just look at a woman's face and it's like, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Right. You know, like, yes. Do you think people back then were just horny constantly? Because they could just see faces and arms and stuff. Like in the colonial times or something? Like... Yeah. When you couldn't really masturbate because you'd go to hell.

There were probably some rogue people masturbating. Like, oh, yeah, God. But see, when they masturbated, it was in, like, you know, a room that was made of mostly brick. Yeah, and their kids were sleeping, like, two feet away. Yeah, there's no light or anything. It's just, it's not like now. Turn off that candle. Yeah.

Blow it out. Blow it out. Blow it out. I mean, if I wanted to watch porn, I can watch porn on my 50-inch plasma screen without like any hesitation. Yeah. It's going to be crazier in the future,

especially like holograms and 3D. Yeah, Google Classes, man. You can just watch pornography while you're walking to your doctor's appointment and stuff. Dude, I don't know how if we get to the point where we can have virtual reality sex, I don't know if I'm

going to be able to do anything else. Yeah. Futurama did an episode about that. Oh, yeah. It was kind of accurate and true. Yeah, with Lucy Liu, right? Right, everyone just stops doing things. I just fucks Lucy Liu all the time. If I could just have a room filled with holographic women

that seem real, what am I doing? Why would I leave the house? That's the goal. Mike is showing me a sign that says the Holocaust didn't happen? What is that about? Oh yeah, it didn't. Show me the time because we have to wrap up.

It would be weird if we found out that it really didn't happen. On this podcast? Yeah, what? What? He was trying to uncover his dad's Icy Hot mystery, and he found out by chance just a side thing that the Holocaust didn't happen. Did not happen. Yeah.

No, but we have to wrap up because Mike and I have to go to his show. Okay. But thank you so much for coming by. Thank you guys for having me. I'm a fan. Oh, good. Thank you. We're fans as well.

I appreciate it. Real quick, so you and Matt have been friends for a while. We've been friends since the day Phantom Menace came out. So what, you met in line? That's the first time we met. In line? We met at another friend's house. We were wearing Ewok masks.

Yeah, we were wearing Amidala. We were dressed like Amidala. I had my Jar Jar hat on. No, it was literally the day Phantom Menace came out. It was the day we met. At the theater? No, at a friend's house. Where did you guys grow up? Here.

We're all Baltimore. Okay. Well, we have to get both of you guys on. Yeah, I mean, JD too. And Jar Jar. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. There's three of us. The episodes I listen to, we have to get both of you guys on. Yeah. I mean, JD, too. And Jar Jar. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. There's three of us.

The episodes I listen to, how often is it three of you are there? Me and JD alternate. Gotcha. Every 10th episode, it's all three of us plus a Coco host. Oh. We have a fourth guy. Coco host. We have a fourth guy, Barry Alexander Hess, and he comes on.

And he's like our every 10th episode guest. Yeah, that's why some episodes I've listened to, it's a clusterfuck. It's like nine people. I've heard- We keep it to three. Okay, because I've heard- It's like the Slipknot of guest. Yeah, that's why some episodes I've listened to, it's a clusterfuck. It's like nine people. I've heard... We keep it to three. Okay, because I've heard like... It's like the Slipknot of podcasts. Yeah.

Well, I've heard older ones with like Skype, like where you guys are doing movie reviews and like John Bennett was on Skype. That was Books on Film. That was my movie side podcast, which is currently on hiatus. So that'll be coming back. What was that like? That sounds interesting. That was just us watching a movie and talking about it. And that'll be coming back. What was that like? That sounds interesting. That was just us watching a movie and talking about it.

And that'll be coming back and it'll be called a bonus desk. Oh, I like that. Why the name change? Because there's going to be some Baltimore. I don't know. Should I say that out loud? If you want. There's going to be a podcast network happening.

I believe digression sessions might have something to do with it. There's a bidding war. There's a bidding war. There's a bidding war. We're enjoying the free lunches. Yeah, there's some podcasts that are familiar to all of us that will be on that network. Yes. So I'm changing the name to de-associate it directly with Bookstore.

Because it was called Books on Film. So I'm just making it a new name so it doesn't have anything to do with it. Look at this marketing genius over here. This son of a bitch. That's how you win. That's how you win these fucking things. So instead you're going to call it an unassuming looking movie house? Yes.

Guilty books place. Guilty books. Guilty books. A non-guilty cinema room. Yeah. That's the ticket. That's it. That's how it is.

But yeah, man, thank you so much for coming by. Thank you. You also are on Meanwhile at the Skull Base, right? Yes, I do. Just as with Josh Coderna. Yeah. Yeah, I do various voices. Yeah.

I don't have a main character, but I'm on there and I love everybody on there. Yeah, it's super fun. I also do Mondo Baltimore, which is the first Thursday of every month at the wind-up space. Uh-huh. And Don't Forget Experts or Nothing, which is last Sunday of every month at the wind-up space.-huh and don't forget experts nothing which is last sunday of every month at the wind-up space nice nice okay and uh january 25th friends fest six at the cybar tavern friends what what's going on there it's uh it's a celebration of uh three people's birthdays which is matt pa from bookstore john campus for bookstore and kurt schmeltz from the lexington arrows okay and there's going to be a whole bunch of bands, including Explosion Sound.

And I'm going to have a video presentation. Nice. And we're going to do a live episode of Bookstore. Oh, man, we want to do a live episode, too. So why don't you back off? Dude, we just came in and we just crushed everyone. What can we say? Killing it.

You're like the Walmart of podcasts. We are totally the Walmart. This is like our episode 100 whatever, and you guys are like, I don't know, hovering around 80 or something. Jesus Christ. Sorry. I mean, I don't know what happened.

We're a bunch of loud assholes. You know, real quick, can I just say? Yeah, go ahead. After you shit on us. Sure, one more thing, Bob. When we won those awards the week that that paper came out, we had one of the most offensive episode we've ever had. Did your listeners go up?

I don't know. Matt never tells us. You don't see your numbers? I have no idea. Oh, wow. But the opening skit was basically a parody of Serbian film. What is that? You know what Serbian film is it's extremely extremely offensive gory

serbian film but it's called a serbian film and it's about the serbian porn industry oh does it like a guy fucking a guy's head to death fucking a baby yeah okay killing someone while they're butt fucking them and cutting their head off i've heard about this right so we basically do a so feel good movie of 2012 is that something I could bring my little nephews to? Yes. If you want them to know the truth about life, yes. Now, does this take place within the Cars Planes universe?

Cars 2. Not Cars 1. They're in a different continuity. A lot of people didn't really mention that. In Cars 2, Cars is like a movie. It's like Wes Craven's new nightmare. It's like Blair Witch and Blair Witch 2. Larry the Cable Guy's like,

he's fucking his head! Do you care? Okay, cool, man. Thank you for coming by. Sorry to cut it short. We'll definitely have you guys on and have us on. I want both of you guys on eventually uh have us on oh we will yeah i want both of you guys we'll write some it just takes forever with the way we do stuff write some

sketches and all that stuff awesome okay and are you on twitter or anything uh yeah i'm at fat dude says okay twitter okay use it that often yeah you know find me all right at fat dude says and you're on facebook but it's a secret name timothy faceasenac on Facebook. Is that for work? Oh, that's you. No, I just made it fake. Oh, okay. I'm Timothy Fasenac. Okay, okay. So find me on Facebook. Timothy Fasenac, thanks for joining us, sir.

Thank you. All right. Thanks, man. This was a lot of fun. And for all the digheads, thank you for listening. You can go to digressionsessions.com slash calendar for all of our stand-up and improv dates. And we have free stickers.

If you want stickers, we'll send you those. Follow us on Twitter, Josh Catten. Stand up and improv dates. And we have free stickers. If you want stickers, we'll send you those. Follow us on Twitter. Josh Cat and Cat. I was going to say Cotton Candy Coderna. It's like Cat and Candy. Follow me at Better Robot Josh. My co-pilot, when Jesus calls out sick over there, he is at Michael Moran 10.

Yes. And we love you guys. Thank you for listening. Thanks, everybody. Thanks, guys. Hey, and if you'd like somebody, tell us. Yes. And we love you guys. Thank you for listening. Thanks, everybody. Thanks, guys. Hey, and if you'd like somebody, tell somebody. Yeah!