The Digression Sessions - Ep. 105 - Natalie McGill!

Episode Date: January 21, 2014

Follow us on Twitter! @LittleNightOwl - Natalie @BetterRobotJosh - Josh @MichaelMoran10 - Mike @DigSeshPod - Pod And come see Mike and Josh live! DigressionSessions.com/Calendar On this week’s Digression Sessions we talk to the hilarious and multi-talented Natalie McGill! Natalie’s a hilarious stand-up comedian and performs all over the MD/DC/VA area. And she’s also one hell of a writer! Natalie contributes The Mariya Alexander Show, writesa personal blog and the blog Facebuzzed, and she’s also a reporter and writer for the American Public Health Association. This was a really sharp and hilarious episode, DigHeads. We had a great time as the laughs were non-stop. Topics discussed include flashing guns to get McDonald’s job applications, weird writing assignments, footballs, and weird small town governments! Thanks for the support everyone! Say hi on our Facebook page! Follow us on the Twitters! And Please take a second and help us out with the Donate button!. Any donation of any size helps us with the costs! And we will send you a sticker, a personal email, and a vile of blood. We love you!

What was the line? I love ya! Uh, it is, uh, the digression sessions. Yeah, the digression sessions. Not your grandpa's third favorite podcast. In Baltimore. In Baltimore. The digression sessions.

Not your grandpa's third favorite podcast. In. In. Baltimore. Baltimore. In. I'm sorry. In.

En Español. Por. I'm sorry. In. En Español. Por Fútbol. Okay. Welcome to the Digression Sessions Podcast. Hey everybody, I'm Josh Koderna. And I'm Mike Moran. And you're listening to The Degression Sessions Podcast, a Baltimore-based comedy talk show

hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers. Join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence as we interview local and non-local comedians, writers, musicians, and anyone else we find creative and interesting. Yes. Who's the guest this week? Natalie McGill is our guest on this week's program.

And Natalie is a very funny, very talented stand-up comedian. She's also a very talented writer. You can find her on Twitter, at LittleKnightAl, and her personal website is Hoothollerscribble.com. And yeah, I met Natalie doing some stand-up, and she's and sports and Mike's non-understanding of football and sports in general. But yeah, it was a super fun chat. And as you may notice, this sounds a little weird. It's because I'm recording without a microphone because it

was a busy day and then I realized I forgot to record the intro for this. So, trying to knock that out late at night. Hoping we got a snow day tomorrow. Yeah, but don't let this intro deter you from listening to the rest of the episode. It was a super fun talk. So, I'm going to get the plugs out of the way. Thank you, Natalie, for doing this show. Definitely check her out if you have the opportunity. As far as for Mike and I, me, Josh, Kaderna,

I'll be doing some shows with the Baltimore Improv Group starting this week, starting this Thursday. We are doing a run of a completely improvised play. It's called Unscripted. I'll be in the shows on the 24th and the 25th at the Mob Town Theater in Hamden. If you go to bigimprov.org, it has tickets and sales and all that stuff. Mike, on February 6th, he will be doing improv at the Steel Stacks Festival. So check that out. Also, the details for all those shows

are going to be at digressionsessions.com slash calendar for all of our upcoming dates. Yeah, I think that's about it. Come say hi on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter. I'm at BetterRobotJosh. Mike is at MichaelMoran10.

The podcast is at DigSeshPod. Thank you guys so much for listening. We really appreciate it. And yeah. Thank you to Natalie. Thank you guys. Thank everybody. Thank you Snow. Thank you Snow Day. Fingers crossed. Anyway.

We love you. Hit that donate button at thecrashsensations.com What are you doing over there? Trying to catch a headphone jack? Oh, how are we doing? Is that it?

Yeah Hello Got some slack? Hey there You good? Delta Can you How we doing? Is that it? Yeah. Hello. Got some slack? Hey, Dave. You good? Delta. Can you hear yourself? Uh-huh.

Okay, good. Good. All right. Can you guys hear me? Yeah. Can you hear us? I'm trying to. No, I can hear you.

Yeah? Yeah, I can hear you. Okay. The jack's been a little messed up. Okay. We can all hear each other. Listeners, can you hear you. Okay. The jack's been a little messed up. Okay. We can all hear each other. Listeners, can you hear us?

Listeners? We're sitting far enough away from each other that we actually have to utilize some microphones. And the headphones this time, yeah. Yeah, this does feel like a boardroom meeting, right? Okay. Mike, any new business? I'm pretty sure the stocks that are on trade for the meeting with the finance, the Dow. We're meeting with the Dow. The Dow of Dow.

The entire Dow. We're meeting Mr. Dow of Dow. Dow Jones is stopping by. Everybody. Mr. Dow Jones. Mr. Jones, everybody. Me and Mr. Dow Jones. Come on.

That's what that Counting Crows song was about. Mr. Dow Jones and me. Yeah, it was like a communist thing. Mr. Jones and me. What is the Dow Jones? Actually, I was thinking of the soul, so like me and Mrs. Jones. Yeah, right. I think that's Mr. Jones, isn't it?

It's me and Mrs. Jones in the original, but I was just going to do me and Mr. Jones. Who did the remake? There's a remake for that? I think Amy Winehouse. Oh, I didn't know that. I think so. Who did the remake? There's a remake for that? I think Amy Winehouse. Oh, I didn't know that. I think so. I feel like that exists, but I don't really know.

We'll never know. And she's dead, so we can't ask her. Amy Mann's dead? And I don't know any other way we can figure that out. I don't know. No, Amy Winehouse. Oh, Amy Winehouse. Sorry.

And Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil? I'm sorry, Uncle Phil. Uncle Phil. Sorry. I was like, stuff happens in threes. So I was like, oh, shit. When did that happen?

Who's next now? It's like Dr. Oz. Nice. You're the coroner on the phone with Dr. Phil's wife. Dr. Phil's dead. What? Oh, no, no. Uncle Phil.

No, Uncle Phil. I was hoping we could have the rest of the cast members on the show. Can you transfer me over to Uncle Phil's family? Give me Uncle Phil. All right. Ms. Natalie Mungill, how are you? I'm good. Okay. Thank you for coming by.

Yeah, thanks so much. We were like, we haven't had some funny ladies on in a while. We haven't had any ladies on in a minute. Well, we've had ladies, but not funny. Not funny ones, right? Like Ellen DeGeneres was here. The last five broads that were on this cast. I tell you.

I wish I could have casted them broadly. No, I'm just kidding. I would not have cast them broadly. Just kidding. But, yeah, no, I'm excited that you're here. You're always super funny and super nice. So I'm happy to have you here. Yay.

Where did you drive up from? I actually drove up from, I was just telling him, I just drove up from Virginia, actually. Normally it's Silver Spring. Oh, my God. But my boyfriend lives in Crystal City, so I was driving from there. And I thought I was just going gonna be able to take 295 like all the way down and then i turned the radio on it was like accident jam from powder mill to 332 i was like nope if you plan on

podcasting take an exit now yeah exactly so it was like really now today and it was it wasn't just that it was like i-97 it was like 29 and so like any possible way to get here was jammed except 95 so if you're listening natalie fuck you yeah it felt personal that's the traffic man jesus christ so few people listen to the radio nowadays that they can personalize everything. Mix 106.5. For Jeff. Phil, what do you want to hear? Hey, Jeff.

This goes two ways now, Phil. You can just say it out loud. We can hear you. We have your car monitored for sound. So, yeah, you do the stand-ups. Very funny stuff. I know you're into the Ravens. Yes. And I apologize for're into the Ravens.

Yes. And I apologize for your loss. Thank you. It was a rough season. Yeah, it was very questionable whether we were going to make the playoffs. At this point, it kind of seemed every ending to a game was like the miracle ending to a football movie or any sports movie. Right, right. It was just like there's no like... Rocky IV.

Yeah. It was like there's no way way we're gonna win it and then we pull it out like the game where it was just we were basically trading touchdowns with the i think with the vikings the vikings yeah one of the worst teams in the league yeah yeah it was that was so weird yeah there's like 45 seconds we get a touchdown it's like oh that's over and then the guy runs it back. It's like, oh, we're going to lose to a horrible team at home. It's like my arteries. Do you get real stressed out when you're watching the game? Yeah, I do.

Are you the type that stands up and goes nuts? Paces. Yeah. You a pacer? I pace. You ever go in the corner and cry? I pace. I haven't cried yet.

I haven't cried yet. I think no one is really as bad as my dad. My dad's like, it gives me anxiety to watch with him sometimes. So he's like fun to watch it with if it's a major game. But a lot of the times, like, my reaction pales in comparison to him. Because he goes from like, sorry, it goes from like zero to 60. Like, he'll be calm on the couch. And it's like, no, god damn it, no.

And I was like, oh, my god. I was like, oh, my god like i was like oh my god like i wasn't ready for it no no chips i'm not supposed to have chips i'll calm down i'll calm down i wish i could get excited about anything the way that you guys get excited about sports football's fun man it's uh no it's not yeah okay That's been football talk with Josh and Mike. Mike's very definitive in the things that he doesn't like. He's like, I like it. Nah.

I don't. My whole life, I just have never really gotten sports. I like sports movies way better than sports. I can watch any Rocky movie. Drop of the hat. I'm going to drop a hat right now. Hit me with the Bad News Bears. Even the remake. Actually, I've never seen

any Bad News Bears. I think there's only one, isn't there? No, there's like five. Like to go to Tokyo? Somewhere around there. Are you talking about the Fast and Furious series? No. Bad News Bears, Tokyo Drift. Too bad, too Barry. We've got to play again.

Get the team together. Yeah, it was sad that the Chinese kid died, though. I assume they have a Chinese kid. I don't know who you're talking about. Oh, in Fast and Furious? No, in Bad News Bears. It has to be like an Asian kid. Oh, he's like, you out.

Yeah, like he follows a bunch of really offensive stereotypes that he didn't care about until like the 90s. Oh, he's like, you out. Yeah, like all those months of really offensive stereotypes that didn't get out until the 90s. Right, right, right. Like the Dr. Jones kid in the Indian. Right, right. He's like, no time for love. Yeah, it's amazing how racist we were willing to be just not that long ago. Yeah. Just like, okay, that makes sense to us.

They're all like that. Dr. Jones. No, I do stand up. I don't really pace. I'll find myself clapping. Like, I'm cheering the team on. I'm like, I do stand-up. I don't really pace. I'll find myself clapping. Like, I'm cheering the team on. I'm like, here we go. I thought we were talking about stand-up.

Yeah, it sounded like stand-up comedy for a minute. Yeah, I'm just bragging. I do stand-up. I also do improv. Where is the pace car? I'm an Indiana pacer. I start for that basketball team. No, for the games when I watch them, I will be like, okay, here we go.

What's going through your mind? I just don't get it. There's nothing at stake. Yeah, well, it's the same way when you're watching a movie. But I don't get up and I'm like, yeah! It doesn't really affect me like that. Yeah. Well, I'm the type that I like watching it on Sunday.

I watch with my dad too. I like the hang aspect of football. Yeah. I think the best. But then on Monday, like whatever happens on Sunday isn't going to ruin my Monday. You know what I mean? Like I don't wake up like, fuck, Raven's lost. Are some people really like that?

It affects their mood that much. Oh, yeah. I bet there's tons of people in this city right now. Their year's ruined already. We're four days into it. I feel like your city should get something if your team wins the Super Bowl. Yeah? Like what? Like a tax write-off or something?

Yeah, totally. Wouldn't that be awesome? Then I would get excited. That would get people invested. Exactly. And I mean, the whole point of sports is that it's like war, right? It's feeding our war desires for a zero-sum victory between two groups. Yeah.

And, you know, in war, you, like, get shit when you raid the other people's tribe and bring things back. If we beat Pittsburgh, they should have to give us their... We just storm their city. Give us your firstborn, Pittsburgh! We won the Super Bowl! We'll take the wives for myself.

We'll take your Vermont sandwiches! Give them to us! Yeah, we convert them to our gods. Yeah. Either convert or you die. I feel like that's how it should be. Just fill their cars with crabs. Yeah, we could do that. And their women. We've come to fill your cars and women with crabs.

We won the Super Bowl. Oh, we should get something. Okay, hey, I agree. We do get a sense of pride, though, right? When you win. That's true. Not me. You don't have any pride over your 2013 Super Bowl?

No, I don't get it at all. It just does not click in my brain the way it seems to with everyone else. And I can't tell if that makes me better than you or worse. I don't think it's a question of that, really. I think that's your problem right there. I can't join you all because I don't know if I hate you, okay? No, I don't know if that makes me, like, somebody who's, like, moved beyond some human ritual that is, like, now obsolete. Yeah.

Or if I'm just, like, a dork. But I will tell you, I am jealous. Like, there's nothing in my life that makes me want to stand up and scream and throw my hands in the air. I'm jealous of that. Not even music? Yeah, kind of, like going to a concert, but that's still kind of different. Or like food. I would probably stand up and cheer for food.

Like when it comes to your table. You must have grown up poor. Bowl of soup arrives, you're just like... You start tearing up Like It came out on time It's hot

Yes One time I waited On Sean Astin And I wanted to make A bunch of Rudy puns But did not I did mention Toy Soldiers however

Yeah What'd he say He joked about the I told him how I I remembered like My mom came downstairs During the awkward Phone told him how I I remembered like my mom Came downstairs During the awkward phone sex scene And he talked to me

About the awkward Apparently there's a scene In that movie Where they're randomly In their underwear For no apparent reason Yeah okay Toy Soldiers is the movie

Where terrorists Take over a college And then the college students Fight back Well it's supposed to be A reformery for high school kids. It was filmed at Virginia University. Oh, okay.

So some people that my sisters knew were extras in it. Yeah, I'm trying to remember why they're in it. I loved it in sixth grade. It was one of those movies that made me feel like I was in on a political thriller, you know? But it was probably way dumb. Yeah, kids fighting back against the terrorists. Terrorists.

I don't know if they were in their underwear because they were at gym class when it happened, or it was just a random scene where they're in their dorms in their underwear. Oh. Alright, well this has been Toy Soldier Talk. You seen Toy Soldiers, Natalie? No, I don't think so.

Let's take a break and watch toy soldiers you got time you got time okay all right let's make it work uh what are we talking about football um no you see there is that drama to it too though i think that is in uh in movies and whatnot like that vikings game at the very end that was exciting shit they're trading touchdowns and like suspense i think once you understand the intricacies of the game too i've tried i played baseball and basketball well those are different sports and i like playing like i like playing to some degree i'm not like huge on it yeah like that's way more fun than watching it for me well i think the thing like around here is like people were so thirsty for having a team

again after the Colts left. People rallied around it so much when the original team was there that now you have something back. How are the Stallions doing, by the way? Is that the CFL team? Do you remember the Stallions? I remember that.

You brought them up once. I think they're doing well. Baltimore Stall once. I think they're doing well. Baltimore Stallions. I think they're doing well. I don't know if they're still around. Are they? One time I went to like, maybe 10 years ago, I went to the Baltimore Blast. And that's the soccer team.

I still haven't been to a blast game. And the person that brought me swore to me that we were at the Super Bowl of indoor soccer. And it was maybe a tenth full. Really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Like, it's barely packed here at whatever arena it was.

It was at the shitty downtown ballpark. Oh, what is that now? I do like the part where they cover their balls, though. That's hilarious. Oh, when they get hit? You know when they block the free kick? Yeah. That is wacky.

Do people wear cups in soccer? I guess not. I feel like they should. They might be one of those things where running that much, you know? Did you ever wear a cup, Josh? I have one on now. I don't know Natalie that well. She know? Yeah. Did you ever wear a cup, Josh? I have one on now. I don't know Natalie that well.

She might go crazy. I don't know. I don't know. That was always awkward. Yeah, especially when your mom had to go with you to pick one out. That reminds me of that episode of The Simpsons

where Marge was picking it out for Barge. She was like, I want to see you pee. I want to see you.... I want to see you. Oh, crap. She's trying to whisper to the guy. I want to see you.

The Simpsons used to be so good. Used to be so good. Used to. Used to. A sad part about watching football for me, college and NFL, is how young and gigantic most of these people are. They just look like men. And they are way more physically fit and accomplished. Well, now you know how I feel when we podcast. When Natalie comes over.

With both of you. These people are probably way younger than me, better looking, and more successful. Well, okay. Now None of us are getting that We're just like, alright, moving on Mike just is going through a thing So anyway, football, right? But no, it just sucks It's like, Marcus Brown

6'5", 300 pounds 19 years old Jesus Christ Yeah, it's so weird that adults are younger than me Like, Marcus Brown, 6'5", 300 pounds, 19 years old. Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's so weird that adults are younger than me. Yeah. Famous people are, like, way younger than me now. Or, like, when they do the intros, like, especially for Sunday Night Football, when they, like, say, like, where they're from.

Yeah, they say their college and all that stuff. And a lot of people will be like, high school. And I'm like, what? Yeah. They just skipped college. Yeah, just skipping it. That's how much of a man i am i didn't even need to be at college to play football it does seem weird that they don't just

pick them up in their prime years like why do they wait until they're done with college that's like a play away from tearing their ac yeah well that's that's what she was saying like some people just skip college altogether or you should or you do one year of college and then yeah no because that's just scary man like your Or you do one year of college and then, yeah. No, because that shit's scary, man. Like, your whole career is wrapped up in that. And then in just a free play, you could just destroy your knee. Oh, you're thinking about them. I never even occurred to me.

You just need to suck up all your talents. Oh, you think about their lives and their well-being. Yeah, I forgot about empathy. I forgot about empathy. For a second there, I thought that I forgot that other humans suffer, too. Oh, yeah. Yes. I had a sociopath moment.

That moment brought to you by a sociopath. Umar and I were talking about that stats thing last night. That'd be a funny thing to do for schlubby guys at a party. It's like, Josh Katerna, 27. I work in a cubicle. You have no redeeming traits. I can't grow a beard. That's like the awkward picture of you smiling.

Yeah, yeah. Can't grow a beard. University of Maryland, Baltimore County. Let me ask you guys this. picture of you smiling like yeah yeah can't grow a beard university of maryland baltimore county has there ever been an athlete who isn't also a great actor uh sure i feel like oh god i'm being sarcastic yeah that's what i thought i was like i was like, there's not an answer to that question. Like a real one. That's on me. Yeah, sure. Jim Brown.

Shaq. OJ Simpson. Yep. Yeah. He acted like he was innocent. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Naked Gun was on yesterday.

33 and a third. I caught the end of two and a half, the beginning of 33 and a third. Nice. Still hold up? Yeah. I would be down for watching those movies. Yeah, I love movies like that where it's just bits. They're so dedicated.

It's seriously like every four seconds there's something goofy. It's like an old Simpsons episode. Yeah, it just hits it repeatedly. Joke, joke, joke. Even if they're stupid, they're great. Even the little things in those. There's one where they're walking from room to room, and Frank Trevin just goes outside of the set.

Instead of walking through a door, he clearly just walks through a wall. He's like, here, join me in this room. They just go through. Just little shit like that. You're like, it's so stupid, but great. I like how straight faced they play everything. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. So, Natalie, how'd you get into comedy? How'd you get into it? Who let you in? That's a good question. And who let the dogs out? Who let you in this house? Who are you? Why are you podcasting in my home uh no uh so how did i get into it my roommate uh my roommate

sarah she actually did so when we graduated maryland i went to college park okay she did the five minutes the funny class at the dc Okay. And after she did that and had her graduation showcase, she would always try to get me to write jokes of her. And I was really self-conscious about my jokes, so I didn't really want to do that. And then at the same time, when I started at this local newspaper in PG County, I started within a couple months of this other comic named Alaha Yuzadi Oh, she's great. She's awesome. So we used to work together

at the paper. Oh, cool. And she was doing comedy at the time well, she's still doing comedy, but she wasn't doing it as often as she was doing it now. Right. So I would go out and I was a supporter at her shows and after we got to know each other better at the job, she was like you know i think you should try this i think you should try doing stand-up and again it was just like how i was self-conscious with my roommate like i didn't really think i would do well on the stage so like i kind of just like held off on it but i would still go out and i would go to her shows and

i like wrote stuff i guess i wrote stuff on my. And then I also did like my own blog. And that was kind of like my excuse for not getting on a stage. I was like, I'll just put it all in here. You know, you can read it and it's funny and you don't have to look at me. Right. Exactly. Can't judge me. Right.

You know, and then nobody will ever judge you on the Internet. They're so polite. Nothing but polite comments. yep no um yeah so i guess 20 around 2011 that's when i started getting like the bug to be like okay i think i actually yeah that was around when i got the swine flu yeah my editor actually got the swine flu for real what yeah when i was at the paper. Everybody got it that year. Yeah, it was really scary. It wasn't uncommon to get it.

What was this? I mean, was it just like a regular flu? Yeah. I mean, it was a pretty heavy flu, but it was just like what was going around that year. I remember like bird flu. Yeah, I've heard of it. Sure. Bird flu, yeah.

I would stay home from work when swine flu. I've been waiting to see that joke since like 2010. Is that Aguilera, by the way? Oh, no. That is one of the Dig Sesh singers, I think we call her. Yeah. Her name's Monica. Okay.

She has a good voice. She's in the closet. She gets a shock every time. It's all good. She's okay. Yeah, I like it. She's fine. She doesn't mind a shock every time. It's all good. She's okay. Yeah, I like it. She's fine. She doesn't mind a nice shock once in a while.

Right? Do you? I love you. That was her boyfriend. That was not a man. Was it? I love you. That's a man?

That's a man. That is not a man. I was questioning that as well. You guys are being very rude. He's standing right here. Very rude. Okay. And then, so what happened?

You just went and did an open mic? Yeah, so. I love that people are like, you need to do it. And you're like, nah, I can't. But that's such a good sign, though. It's like, you're so funny. You should do stand-up. Right.

I feel like it's the opposite for me. Like, Mike, you need to not do that. You need to stop that. You need to stay home. What are you doing? Go write a blog. Get out of here. Mike, you need to not do that. You need to stop that. You need to stay home. What are you doing? Go write a blog. Get out of here. Mike, we're going to be honest.

We're not here to have a pineapple party. Sit down. We need to talk. Close the door behind you. You're just holding a bunch of pineapples. What? I'm wearing a pineapple hat. But I spent all this money on pineapples.

I have one of those big fruit hat things. I like the Chiquita banana. Did you get a banana? Yeah, like a pineapple hat. But I spent all this money on pineapples. I have one of those big fruit hat things. I like the Chiquita banana. Like a banana shirt. Yeah. Coconut press. Coconut pepini, yeah. Lobster. Lobster thong.

That's a bad out. Lobster thong. Oh, no. Lobster thong. Good improv team name. Hey, everybody. We're Lobster Thong. Can I get a word?

All right. So you finally caught the bug. You've been convinced. Yeah. So I caught the bug. And I did kind of do a little bit of stalling that year because I was like, okay, I really want to do it. But I want some other stuff to fall in place first. So at that time I was trying to look for another job.

And you primarily work for newspapers or do writing? Yeah, I'm a journalist. Oh, cool. That's the word I was looking for. So you're like a word thing. You are not one of them. You're like a word artist, basically. You word stuff. Right. I have word artist, basically. You word stuff.

I have in my notes here that you write stuff. So basically you put symbols onto parchment that represent sounds. We learned that I can't read and write. I'm pointing to a newspaper. I'm like, you do this? This? So you're a journalist. Is that what you went to school for? Yeah so I went to school for that

Were people busting your balls about that? Journalism that's a dead I think more people Should have said that to me Before I got a degree in that You just surround yourself With yes men That's the impression I'm getting

You should do a comic Is everyone around you scared of you? because it was just like surround yourself with yes men that's the impression i'm getting yeah you should do a comment is everyone around you scared of you no you should do comedy you should do writing if they are i should take advantage of that it's good that you put that cigarette out on my palm that's real good i deserve that it reminded me why i'm alive no it, I was surprised that my parents didn't say earlier, like, don't do that. Don't fucking do that. No, no, don't. No.

And yeah, so, but they knew that I was, they knew that writing was my strong suit. So they, I guess they expected that I was going to go into something where I would be writing. I didn't, I don't think they thought it was that because I didn't really figure out that's what I wanted to do until I was applying for college. It wasn't something where I was freshman high school. I had really, when I got into high school, I didn't know what I was going to do at all.

I knew I had to go to college. In high school, you didn't know? I am like 90 and I have no idea what I want to do. You look great for 90. I was like born during the freaking Civil War or something. You use cocoa butter on your skin? Everything's really smooth. Hyperbaric chamber.

Is that your thing? Kombucha. Oh, there you go. That's why you drink that stuff. I sleep on a bed of kale. You do a lot of juice cleansing. Pineapple Pilates. Like again with the pineapple.

Give it up. I listen to lizard songs. That's how I sleep. Oh, okay. And I purify my air with the ashes of the Inca. Oh, good. Good, good, good. Okay, so doing stand-up it does it go well

in the beginning or like when i first started yeah um i got a pretty good reaction when i when i first started and then um a lot of a lot of it at the beginning was like nerves for me and memorization yeah you know so i would get up somewhere and it would just be like like it was it was going great in the car on the way there killing in the car i'm killing in the car right i'm killing it in the car game and then i i would get to the stage and then i would just like blank out and then i would just be like staring at people i'm like oh this is not good you say that audibly no i should then i would just be like staring at people i'm like oh this is not good say that audibly no i should have i would have gotten laughs except what i was doing which was this is not going well for me yeah yeah yeah funnier than what you said prior to that so no yeah so a lot of it was like nerves for me in

the video like i knew like i had you know somewhat good stuff but it was like nerves for me in the beginning. Like I knew like I had, you know, somewhat good stuff, but it was just like, just like getting over the execution of it was the execution. Yeah. So that was a lot of it for me when I started. Uh huh. How long you been doing it? Uh, a little over two years now. Nice.

Yeah. Well, it seems that you've overcome it. Cause I, whenever I see you, you always have a good set. Yeah. Like, Oh, thank you. I mean, that's the times that i've seen knock on this fake wood i'm this fake slacker this is nice i don't know maybe um no yeah um i think i've gotten a lot better with being comfortable on stage and knowing if something

isn't working be like well it's not working just abandon it yeah okay okay okay and then uh journalism so you you enjoy it but is it is it a tough gig um i enjoy it a lot more now like not my my first job it was i'll say it was exciting i had a lot of different characters to deal with um but it was stressful you know and i wasn't really getting paid a lot like i'll just say it wasn't it didn't this place hiring um probably not no um so it was like it was exciting and i got a lot of you know i probably have a lot of future material you know that i can get out of it but you know but in terms of like stress levels you know it was not especially uh compared to what I was being paid for, it wasn't worth it. This is too stressful to get paid nothing.

So where I am right now, it's a lot less stressful. Where are you now? Now I write for the American Public Health Association. So I write for their monthly newspaper. Gotcha. It's cool. I really like it. Everyone there's cool. I really like it. Everyone there is cool.

I do like the erotic letter section of that. Is that you? No. Okay. Are you sure? She's winking. It's her. It's her.

We knew it. My silence should be telling it. Your silence speaks volumes, Natalie. All right. So what do you like to do besides comedy? What else is going on in the world for you, Natalie? Anything? Are you into bow hunting?

You just too busy? Yeah. Other than, well, I mean, well, this is what I was going to say is still kind of relatively comedy related. No, of course. No, I started doing, you know, Maria Alexander. Yeah, so I started doing her podcast now. Oh, cool. Yeah, so I do like a news segment, like a funny news segment.

Her podcast has segments. We got to think about that. Well, I think really, I think I'm the only like segment in it. Because for the most part, it's like's like you know there's like a list of topics that we go through right you know sometimes it's a guy sometimes there's not and then like toward the end and then toward the end of it it's a bunch of stories that i thought were ridiculous and then i'll try to put my own spin do you have any that you can steal from her show for our show anything good i'm trying to think of something that i was gonna talk about yeah yeah give us the stuff that

they didn't get or that they're gonna get we get well i get it early i can do one that i was gonna like it's a little dated slightly dated now i'm not gonna do it for tomorrow but it's still kind of fucking hilarious all right give us the good dated stuff it was this guy who he walked into a mcdonald's uh-huh and he was trying he was applying he wanted to apply for a job there but he wanted a paper application okay okay and so he goes in and the manager there is like uh yeah we don't have any paper apps but you know here's the link to the website where you can apply online and i guess maybe he didn't want to deal with like 30 minutes of waiting in line at a public library to use a computer to get a bj before he goes online yeah because then he like lifts his shirt to reveal his gun and basically threatens her with a gun for a job application wow wow i guess it

just always worked for him before it's like give me give me a bagel. Like, no, nope. Okay, take a bagel. Lift it, yeah. Give me a job. Well, you're going to have to apply. Am I? Also, if that's your move, why are you working at McDonald's? Shouldn't you just be robbing people?

Exactly. I was like, why? I think he, like, overlooked something in that entire strategy. Better give me this low-paying menial job right now or I'll shoot you. You know how much more money you could just make right now than just stealing the money? Please, please. Jesus. I guess maybe he thought he could cut his losses.

He's like, okay, I'm not going to get a job at this McDonald's. But maybe the next one. I'll figure this thing out. There's a lot of McDonald's. I'll be here all day if it takes. I heard, this made me think of George Foreman. I heard the way he got discovered as a boxer is that he would hide in alleys and just punch people. Really? And then he would just take their wallets.

I seriously doubt that. It could be a myth, but the legend is that he punched a boxing trainer one day. It was going to rob him. The trainer was like, well, that was a really good punch. And then brought the guy down to his... Brought George Foreman down to his gym and trained him. Sounds like a lapsed Disney movie. Yeah, right?

It's like a good way to not get your wallet taken. Wow, I could make you a star. Come follow me to my gym, would you? It's located inside this police precinct. Isn't that weird? Come on. Come on. I was going to say, that's kind of what's happening in D.C. now, minus the being discovered.

People are just getting punched in the face for no reason. Is that this knockout game? Is that real? Is it real or is it a myth it's it's real is it yeah because it was happening in like columbia heights uh-huh yeah so there were a couple people who reported just being knocked like just well people randomly beat up other people sometimes right yeah but this one i think it's like it's they all started the same way it was like a group of kids or like on a bike rolling up and knocking you out from behind and then just running off. On a bike?

Yeah, some people were doing it. It would be like either a person on a bike and somebody with that person or just like one person. They don't even take your wallet? No, they don't take anything. That's the thing that's so stupid about it. Killing a buffalo and leaving it to rot. The Native Americans would never have done that. That's what I was like.

If you're going to do this, kids are so stupid. Just take the money. I guess that would be unethical. Yes. Do I partake in the knockout game? Yes. Do I have morals? Of course I do.

It's probably because they're watching football and think that you're not supposed to get any rewards for games. I'll tell you what, Brad is watching the footballs. And it goes out. You want to repeat what was lost there? What was lost.

I think that was it. I literally just said, uh. But we got it. We got it. Good. Just insert something else from another show. Okay. Just you referencing something topical from two years ago.

Well, just take a few sentences, cut out a few words, and reformulate them in a way that makes coherent sense. You got it. I'm going to write it down in the time code right now. Got it. And put something over this part, too. Explain it. I'll do a director's commentary, like, when Mike said to me...

So, Natalie, how many days a week are you getting up to do some sets and mics and stuff? I'm probably up at least three times a week. At least. That's awesome. Well, in D.C., I think there's more opportunities to do stuff. And it's, like, even more than, like, when I started.

Really? Like, now it's, like, ridiculous. Really? So what rooms are you frequenting? Some big hunt action? Yeah. I do big. Yeah.

I probably do big hunt and townhouse tavern in dupont which is also one of sean's rooms oh okay um so i probably do those the most gotcha yeah and um i've started doing um uh the science club on thursday yeah that's is that max and yeah mac yeah max rosenblum and david coulter so um that room's really good that one's been packed out. I went this past Thursday, and I wasn't expecting a huge crowd because of the snow. Yeah. But it was. Sometimes it has the opposite effect where people are already just out, and they're like, fuck it.

Yeah, I guess so. I think it helps, too, if you got the metro and everything, so you don't have to worry about driving and stuff. But, yeah, it sucked for us because we were thinking about doing a mic that night. Because I know you were going to go down. Like, oh, the snow. How is that going for you, Mike? Because your New Year's resolution. It's completely gone the opposite of mine. Mike's.

I'm already in the hole. You want to share your resolution? Well, my resolution is to do stand-up five nights a week. Oh, wow. And I can do it. I've done it in the past. You know, I can make it up if I miss. But

this first week, it's not worked out. Well, part of that, it's not your fault. At least for this week, it's not your fault. Yeah, I gave myself a pass, but weather and the holidays and all that. So, starting on Sunday. Which ones do you frequent

or try to go to? I go to the Drafthouse one. I try to go to that. Saturdays. I do whatever color of me funny open mics are around. The one on Sunday nights, the Crab Shack, High Tops. What else do I do, Josh? Sidebar.

Sidebar I do, Josh? Sidebar Sidebar I do Aren't Chris Hudson and Natan running a No, not Chris It's Mark Miller and Natan are doing a room on Tuesdays Yes John Yeager has Little Havana Yeah, I think that's every other Tuesday Right, right, right I've done that a couple times

There's Coco Lane on Wednesdays I keep meaning to go to that one I keep hearing Really good things about that one We played an improv game after Yeah The host Eric He likes to play

The improv games after And the knockout games Yeah But the shows run so late there And I have to work the next day It'll be like 11.30 Like improv game Like I don't feel like being

It's tough The witty guy Like banana fire truck i don't know like not my thing um have you done this uh this snicker snack show no i haven't done that one and stuff always actually comes up whenever i'm in schedules that like i can't do the one coming up because i'm going to um my brother actually got me tickets to see jim gaffigan for christmas and that's that night so nice i saw it he uh recently at a show he had his kids open up for him it was like oh really like four of his yeah do you see that modern comedian with him in it have you seen that series on youtube no it's called modern comedian and they

just kind of follow like a comedian kind of like day in the life kind of thing i think he has seriously like six kids and he lives in a two-bedroom apartment in new york yeah what the fuck i remember reading an article i forget where it was it might have been in the times where they just like profiled like like a day in the life of a certain person. It was Jim Gaffigan. And they, like, he basically sets a schedule where he always has Sundays open to spend time with his family. And they'll, like, go to church and they'll go grocery shopping. It's, like, all of them, like, together. And it's, like, that's so overwhelming.

Yeah. And that's, like, super Catholic, too. And I was, like, there's. Yeah, just cranking them out. Cranking them. Just keep going. My mom's family had nine kids.

I have like 30 cousins in the Baltimore area. God damn. Yeah. My mom's one of nine too. Wow. And my dad's one of six. So I have a lot of

aunts and uncles and cousins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me? Only child, this guy. Well,

I have a half brother that I've never met, but you know. Oh, I heard that story. That story was awesome. Oh, this guy. Well, I have a half-brother that I've never met. Oh, I heard that story. That story was awesome. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, we're chatting now and again, and he's cute. He's just like, what's your middle name? Does it begin with an L? I was like, no.

Randomly. Well, I thought it was random. I was like, no, it's Adam. He's like, oh, my middle name begins with an L. I thought we were both JLK. And I was like, that's sweet. That's sweet. Your middle name's Adam.

I'm going to bust my balls for my middle name. I don't know why that's weird. That's just creepy for some reason. I don't know why. Why are we in elementary school all the time? My name is Adam. I can't tell you my middle name. The name Adam is just kind of creepy in general.

Why? It's just so biblical. There's just these strong connotations that are just kind of creepy. I honestly never think about it. The Frankenstein's monster's name was Adam in the book. The Newtown shooter's name was adam in the book the newtown shooter's name was adam yeah so and uh the singer for counting crows bring it full circle adam dirts yeah yeah adam dirts right yeah right now let's take a moment of silence

um uh what was i gonna say that threw me for a second oh uh what do you want to do with comedy or do you know are you just having fun um you guys you and comedy just dating you guys just having fun right now i'm not gonna make anything serious no um i think ultimately i would like to like write for a show or write for tv yeah that seems like the best right that would be awesome yeah i hear i hear some people say it's can, like, really grating on you, but awesome at the same time. Just, like, hanging out in a room with funny people trying to come up with funny stuff seems like it would be phenomenal. What if we just, like, took over The Simpsons? Like, what if we went in and we were like, we are going to bring The Simpsons back to the early 90s.

Uh-huh. Now move over. I think they'd say, how'd you get my office? Where's security? Slowly escort us out of the building. If we're lucky. No jail time.

We shouldn't do that. You should write a Simpson spec script. Write a script. Just take it over. I'd rather just take it over. I'd rather'd rather use then they'll take it and they'll give you no compensation for your yeah exactly um yeah so what would you like to write anything in particular just uh um i don't know uh like i don't really have any experience doing like sketch writing so i don't know about that. And like,

that's something that, you know, if I do it, I need to like take a class or like get immersed in it. Right. So I'm thinking more like situational comedy or something like that. Or I think it would be really cool to, cause they always say like,

write what you know. So writing something about my experiences as a community reporter. Yeah. I'm sure there's a bunch. Yeah. Cause that I, there's like a wealth of material in that because i have to cover like a lot of like small towns and municipalities and

those places not i'm not saying there weren't nice people there but like those places like small towns are scary they're scary like in terms of like like just small governments because like it's just like the people stay there like forever like you know like horrible children of the corn town yeah it's just yeah I'm not saying like all of them are like that but like you get into this cycle where you're

like electing the same people over and over again and sometimes those people aren't nice they're the best people but like they'll stay there forever because it's a democracy and people voted them in why would people vote but they'll stay there forever because it's a democracy. People voted the men. Why would people vote the men if they're not good politicians? Because a lot of people don't... Some people weren't really informed about it.

They're just kind of like, oh, well, they've been on the council for a while. That name sounds familiar. Yeah, they just buy into it. I don't want anything weird and different. Yeah, like family lineage might have something to do with it. Or it's just really, they live in a town. They don't really give a crap. Right.

They don't really care that there's a government there until it starts affecting their personal life, like their tax bill or anything like that. Otherwise, those meetings were always going on. It's just until it affects them, it's like... You're saying there's a lot of corrupt officials in these small towns? Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes you will run into people. And is that evident to you through the interview

or just through your research? Well, just through research. Well, honestly, just over time, stuff will happen to people. Right, right. I remember one of the mayors in my coverage area actually, so he was running for another office. He said he had already left office,

but then he ended up getting charged with, I think, embezzling funds or election funds or something like that. And this is a guy that, you know how you meet people and you don't really have a good feeling about it? And it's just like, they haven't done anything yet, but you know that they will. You don't know if they're going to do it in your lifetime. And it's like, something's going to happen. And then it was like a year or so after he was out, that's when that came out.

I was like, I knew it! You're going to do something. like a couple like a year or so after he was out that's when that came out i was like i knew it icy handshake yeah death no there's no life yeah behind his eyes i never used to give any like weight toward like gut feeling like no like you just until something happens i can't really say but no like usually if i thought they were creepy or weird or gonna do something illegal they ended up doing it wow you're a super specifically clairvoyant person like you're gonna do something illegal one day you got the shining yeah the evil politician shining the lamest shining of all the The shinnen. The shinnen. You don't want to get sued, do you? Okay.

Well, I hope you get to do your comedy writing and all that stuff. That should have been a resolution of mine. I need to. It's too late now. You're going to have to wait until next year. Yeah. That's the rule. You missed the window. Yeah, I missed the window of opportunity.

Sorry. I don't think God listens to wishes this time of year. He needs a break too, Natalie. Okay. What was I going to say here? I forget. Mike, take over. You're certainly too often.

Forget Mike. I forgot. No, I didn't forget Mike. Thanks for coming by today, Mike. I know you're not feeling well. Thank you for risking it. Of course, we're all risking it now. Thank you for doing tech last night at the show. Natalie, I'd love to have you up for that.

Did I tell you about the stand-up improv mixed show? No, I think I've heard about that, though. We have three comedians and three troops and uh comedians get paired with a troop um so you go up and you do your set about like a seven minute spot and then the improv team is on the stage with you watching and then when you're done uh the improv team takes over and they use your set as the input for their set and it's a lot of

fun it's always a great show. Yeah, it's so fun. Where do you guys do that show? We do it at the Meadowmill Theater here in Hamden. We have a show tonight. Do you know Pete Bergen? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, his troupe, The Score, is coming up from D.C. And we're going to do a show tonight, actually.

So that's what I got to head over to do in a few minutes. But I would love to have you up for that stand-up show sometime. Yeah, yeah. The mash-up. Hint, hint. Hint, hint. Yeah, we're doing it monthly. I think Alahi's going to do the one in February, I hope, which will be cool. So if you're free,

I'll hit you up about it. Yeah. I will. I will, Natalie. I will. Alright, so let's end on this. The Ravens are out of the playoffs. You are out of here. That's what they told them. That's what the Cincinnati Bungles told them.

Who are you rooting for? Who are you rooting for? I don't know. I think the playoffs are on right now. Are we missing a playoff? I missed one. Yeah, I think. There was one at 4 o'clock, right?

There was one. I think there's one starting at 8, I think, and I don't know who that is. I don't know which team that is. No, I really don't know who I'm cheering for. I think I'm going to go Seahawks, I think. So you feel obligated to choose a team, even if it's not a team you like?

Not necessarily obligated. I don't know. It's nice. I don't know. It's cool to be able to follow something or cheer somebody on. It's so weird. This is like a phenomenon I just do not understand. You know what, Mike, I think you need to do?

You need to gamble. That will get you invested. I'm not really going to be gambling either. Well, give it a shot. Two birds, one stone. Just bet on a game. I mean, I'd rather not I got other shit to do

that's another thing how do you find time to like sit around for like four hours and watch a game I usually I hang out with my dad so you know I file that under quality well that's another thing hang out with your family members you make the time

you know what was the stat. You make the time, Mike. You know, what was the stat that I heard the other week? That people are looking at the Chargers, and it's only because the game. It's only because their iPods are taking forever. Yeah, I think it was like the team that played the Eagles or the team that played that played shit it was like the first game of the season like the like whoever lost to them like in the first game of the season like that ended up being like the super bowl winner i think it was the eagles i think it was the eagles because we played we played the eagles like in our home opener or something or first game and then we

lost to them but we won the super bowl so i think it was whatever team yeah okay okay well it's apparently like the last four super bowls like that super bowl winners were the ones who played and lost against them and then they won the whole thing okay so that's what mike should bet his money on the possibly eagles or whoever lost to the eagles it's like when that guy figured out where the wanny would be on San Diego Chargers. It's like where the guy figured out where the whammy would be on Press Your Luck. Exactly. Big money, no whammies. Go Chargers. I think the Seahawks might do it, but I don't know.

I remember when Seahawks were just called fish. I'm pretty sure they're just birds. Sharks. They should be sharks. Seahawks were just called fish. I'm pretty sure they're just birds. Sharks. They should be sharks. Seahawks? Now I'm just picturing a shark with wings and making noises. It's a dragon. Huh?

It's a dragon. I'm picturing a griffin. God damn. So bored. For the listeners at home, Mike just did a rail of Coke. That's exactly what it's... It does sound like that. Mike is just like...

God damn. You know when people just shake their head a lot at the door and then they're just sweating? Oh, black baby, bam-a-lam. Oh, black baby, sing, sing. Oh, black baby, bam-a-lam. Everybody sing or I'll fight you. Oh my God, I feel alone. He's coming down, folks. Oh my God, I'm never doing that.

One more. Let's just do one more. All right. Natalie, ever done cocaine? No. All right, that's how we end every show. By doing cocaine. Come on out. We're a drug dealer, guy. All right. That's how we end every show. By doing cocaine. Come on out.

We're a drug dealer guy. Come on. Watch the mirror. Watch the mirror on your way out. That would be great. When he's coming out, the drug dealer's on the talk show. Their name comes up at the bottom. It's like, so-and-so, drug dealer.

Just waving to the crowd. It probably does happen all the time. Drug dealer? Yeah, on talk shows. No, I-and-so, drug dealer. Just waving to the crowd. It probably does happen all the time. Drug dealer? Yeah, at talk shows. He's a drug dealer. Come on down. What was I going to say? I had something to say. You better think of it, because I'm about to

wrap this son of a bitch up. Was it about cocaine? Was it about cocaine? Oh, yeah. We should get some cocaine. How are like heroin? Do heroin addicts like spill their heroin all the time? That must happen, right?

Do people spill heroin all the time? Spill it. Probably not. Because I think that's something they would be pretty invested in. Right. Making sure they don't spill that. Which is weird because you think they would be shaking so much. Yeah. It seems like such a process to shoot up, you know? Making sure they don't spill that. Which is weird because you think they would be shaking so much.

Yeah, it seems like such a process to shoot up, you know? Maybe that's why crack is popular. Because it's like crack gets you high for like four seconds. Heroin gets you high for like two weeks. And yet people still choose crack. Because it's a pain in the ass to shoot up. Who has time for that? Give me a break.

I got to find a tube. It sounds like the infomercials that are black and white. It's like, do you struggle with regular drugs? In this modern day worker world, who has the time? The person just struggling to wrap. Red circle to lie like, no, not anymore. With all the running from police. There's got to be a better way.

Stealing collection baskets from churches. And regretting your choices. Who has time to shoot up? Punching out Girl Scouts for their cookie money. Has this happened to you? All right. Well, shout out to our sponsor, Cocaine, for the week. It's derivative. Anything that you would like to plug for our listeners to check out?

Twitter, your blogs and all that stuff? Yeah, I actually got a couple things for that. Oh boy. At Baltimore Ravens. No, my Twitter, if you guys want to follow me on that, that's at LittleNightOwl.

There it is. My own personal blog, it's Hoothollerscribble.com Hoothollerscribble.com hoothollerscribble.com yes okay and um i guess the last thing would be um i blog every thursday for for um laugh your grits off yeah i go dc yeah um so i do a blog about um horrible social media practices by booze companies is that that's face buzz face buzz yeah sorry okay i should have brought that up I'm a horrible interviewer yeah

that's fine you're a horrible person and an even worse person so so if you go to lygodc l-y-g-o dc.com

and click on the link for the blog you'll find all my archives nice so awesome well thank you so much for doing the show

yeah for having me of course of course sorry about all the traffic and all that stuff I appreciate it oh yeah all my archives. Nice. So awesome. Well, thank you so much for doing the show. Yeah. This is great. Of course. Of course. Sorry about all the traffic and all that stuff. I appreciate it. Oh yeah. You're making the trek.

I know it was hell. You think, thank WTOP. They, they got me around the problem. All right. WTOP listening. Yeah.

Thank you. Traffic and weather. Yeah. Save my life. You are not forgotten You are loved Mr. Mike Moran Yeah

What do you got to plug? What do we got to plug? Skeptic Uh-huh Uh-huh Skeptic Magazine Yes Of course

Contributing to that I think I'm going to be in the next one too Jesus Christ Look at you Yeah Former guest Brad Warner's book review that I did from like two years ago. Uh-huh. I guess they're really hard up for material because that was only published online,

and now they're going to publish it in the Physical Magazine for some reason. Your review or a review of Brad Warner's? Are they re-releasing his book in paperback or something? I don't know. Good question. They might be doing that. Maybe, yeah. Okay, cool, man.

That and that's about it. Yeah. And follow Mike on Twitter. Follow me on Twitter. At Michael Moran 10. Michael Moran 10. I am at Better Robot Josh. Whatever.

Okay. You don't have to speak for the audience. And we got shows coming up. I'm not sure when this episode will be out. But if you go to digressionsessions.com Slash calendar You can see Our shows

Improv, stand up and otherwise Got a bunch of stuff coming up January is going to be busy y'all I'll have a bunch of improv dates soon To put up on Cali Is my Steel Stacks date up on there? It's on there. Maybe this is something I should ask you about. It's in February, but yeah, it's up there.

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We'll send you some shit stickers if you're lucky. But no, thank you guys so much for listening, and we're on Stitcher and all that, so plug that too, and I don't know what else to plug. I'll plug that too. Hey! You're telling our listeners to plug stuff for us now? Plug away, would you?

Do a lot of favors for you. Come on. And come edit this episode too, please. Come edit it. I've got to watch football tomorrow. Hey, Mike? Yeah? If you like somebody, tell somebody.

Yeah. All right. Thanks, everybody. Thank you. This was a lot of fun. Bye-bye.