The Digression Sessions - Ep. 106 - Mike Finazzo! (Bro Down Throw Down!)

Episode Date: January 28, 2014

Get Mike's new album, "The Cheery Side of Denial," FOR FREE at ThatMikeFinazzo.com ! On this week’s episode, Josh sits down for a one-on-one Barbara Walters style interview with the hilarious and his damn talented friend, Mike Finazzo! There were a few less dick jokes and more tears than a traditional Barbara style interview, but it was still a good one! Finazzo’s been doing stand up all over the East Coast for the past 4 years and he just put out his second album, “The Cheery Side of Denial.” LISTEN AND DOWNLOAD IT FOR FREE! Donate if you’d like! Mike and Josh discuss the making of the album, getting robbed by thieves, working with Dennis Miller, hotel mirrors with TVs in them, and they engage in a game of footsie for the ages! Thanks for all the support as always Dig Heads! If you feel so inclined, feel free to donate to the Dig Sesh! We have a donate button on the website, and any support is much appreciated! We will send you a Digression Sessions sticker in return! Also find us and say hi on our Facebook page! Follow us on Twitter - @BetterRobotJosh @MichaelMoran10 @DigSeshPod 

What was the line? I love ya! Uh, it is, uh, the digression sessions. Yeah, the digression sessions. Not your grandpa's third favorite podcast. In Baltimore. In Baltimore. The digression sessions.

Not your grandpa's third favorite podcast. In. In. Baltimore. Baltimore. In. I'm sorry. In.

En Español. Por Fútbol. Okay. Welcome to the Digression Sessions Podcast. Hey everybody, I'm Josh Koderna. And I'm Mike Moran. And you're listening to The Degression Sessions Podcast, a Baltimore-based comedy talk show

hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers. Join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence as we interview local and non-local comedians, writers, musicians, and anyone else we interview local and non-local comedians writers musicians and anyone else we find creative and interesting yes who's the guest this week mike finazzo is the guest on this week's program and he came by just to have a nice little one-on-one chat

and it was really nice it was just mike and i hanging out so it's basically like he came over for our usual bro down throw down that we would have where we're talking about sports and chicks and we're dunking basketballs while we're talking about sports and chicks and dunking basketballs and so you guys are going to get a little window into that. Isn't that nice? That's very nice. But in all seriousness, Mike Fonazzo is a very, very funny guy and great stand-up. And he just put out a new album called The Cheery Side of Denial, which you can get for free at thatmikefonazzo.com.

And I produced the album. I'm super proud of it. It's very funny. Mike's a great guy and this was actually just a cool chat that we had besides talking about chicks and dunking basketballs.

We talked about the making of the album, some recent shows that he's been doing, talking about getting robbed in the Baltimore area, which we both have experience with now.

And Mike just did a show for Dennis Miller where he opened up for him for, and it was a 1500 seat theater. And yeah, it's pretty crazy. So definitely, definitely a fun chat. Like I said, you can get Mike's album at thatmikefonazzo.com. And if you want to see him live, him and I are doing a show together. I'll be doing a guest spot. He's headlining at the Main Street Oyster House in Bel Air, Maryland, on Wednesday, January 29th at 9 p.m. Free show. And then the day after that, Mike will be at the Magoobies Joke House,

January 30th, Thursday, January 30th, Opening for the great Jim Florentine. So that should be a good week for Mike. He's on a roll. I'm really proud of him. He's kicking ass. And a super funny guy. And yeah, I think that's it before we get into the episode. Yeah, the wonderful Mike Moran could not join us because he had to work this day.

So we just forged ahead and had ourselves a little bro-down throw- was missed love that guy uh and uh let's see let's get some plugs for uh for the old dig sesh boys before we get into this episode uh you can find me on twitter josh kaderna i am at better robot josh michael moran is at michael moran 10 the podcast is at dig sesh pod and if you go to digression sessions.com slash calendar that has all of our Michael Moran is at Michael Moran 10. The podcast is at Dig Sesh Pod. And if you go to digressionsessions.com slash calendar, that has all of our upcoming dates as well. Let's see. Tuesday, January 28th, I'll be at Tawny Town hosting a show at Gunner's Grill in lovely, lovely Tawny Town, Maryland.

The headliner is Alex Moore. The feature is the great Jim Meyer. Friday, I will be doing uh friday the 31st i think that is friday of this week i will be uh doing unscripted with the baltimore improv group and that's a two-act completely improvised play it's going to be a lot of fun and this saturday yeah so that is the 31st so So Saturday, February 1st, Mike Moran and his improv troupe, Population 6, they'll be at the Steel Stacks Festival in Bethlehem,

Pennsylvania, doing improv up there. Like I said, go to digressionsessions.com slash calendar, and that has all of our upcoming dates. We really appreciate you guys for listening, and if you want Mike's new album, you can get it for free. Can't stress that enough. Go to

thatmikefonazo.com and get that psalm, bitch. Other than that, thank you guys so much for listening, as always. We really, really appreciate it. If you want to donate, go ahead. If you want a sticker for free, just hit us up. Find us on our Facebook page. And other

than that, just, you know, keep talking about chicks while dunking basketball, bro. We love you. All right. I think we're rolling now. We started from the bottom. Still relatively close to the bottom. But we're here. Yes.

Oh, goodness gracious. My good friend sitting across from me at my boardroom-like table in my boardroom-like room of my palatial estate, Mike Finazzo. How are you? I'm good. How are you and the Internet doing? Yeah, good. Me and the Internet are doing well. I think we're moving in together.

Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. Quick question before we get things started. Hit me. Let's say, hypotheticallyetically this becomes your biggest podcast ever like like ira glass calls you and he's like i'm looking to promote this american life can i be on your podcast like you're that big my my two-bit podcast uh i'm trying to promote this

american right the most downloaded podcast in the world. But hypothetically, this episode makes you huge. Yeah. Like, we blow up after this. Undoubtedly. And then, like, Mike Moran's mom joins Twitter just so she can tweet at you and say, that was the best podcast of all time with you and Mike Finazzo.

Yeah. So, like, let's say all that happens. Sure. Do you ditch Moran, add me, call this podcast Bro-Down Throwdown? The Bro-Down Throwdown. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I really feel like Irode would come on as a producer.

And the Bro-Down Throwdown sounds like the Ira Glass. Ira Glass presents Bro-Down Throwdown. Act one. Keg stands. We go into Hamden, Baltimore today to talk to two gentlemen. Our hats are turned backwards. We have shorts on even though it's very cold out. And they introduced me to something called beer pong.

Tell me about this beer pong. No, I think Moran will always have a place on this podcast. Will he always have a microphone? I don't think so. I mean, if I need to go pee during one of our bro-down throw-downs, I'll say, hey, Moran, cup your fucking hands. The talent's got to go pee-pees. All right? That's what will happen happen all always gonna have a place the way you you set that up i picture you and i talking and then

like a monkey in the corner miranda's jerking off well yeah i mean it's gonna be hard not to get excited when there's such talent absolutely happening um so you're here we you know let's we're friends yeah as it is we wanted to have a friendly chat yeah but we got some business right we do have a lot of business i hear you you got an album out i you hear like that's my comics unleashed like my record company a and r department contacting you. So you emailed yourself. I definitely did. Yeah, I have an album out.

Really proud of it. You produced it. What? Yeah, you appear on the liner notes. I just go crazy. Oh, Josh, I understand you produced this. I'm like, yes, yes, I did. Just interview myself the whole time.

Yeah, that would be an interesting conversation. Oh, yeah. So you're on the liner notes of the CD And I think Like I was looking at our numbers Because you can look at it per track What's streaming Because it's on Bandcamp What do we got? Is it Mike Fonazzo?

Just go to thatmikefonazzo.com And you can download it there Or stream it from there F-I-N-A-Z-Z-O. www.thatmikefinazzo.com. Yeah. We're only going to say that about two dozen more times in the next hour. Should have just made it a drop.

Save us some time. Yeah, we should just record that and then periodically, thatmikefinazzo.com. But yeah, you can look at how many times each track was listened to. And it's funny to see like 88 times, 76 times. And you get to the liner notes like 12 times. And they're all like partials. You wouldn't make it through the liner notes. So yeah, I think people just assume liner notes are going to be boring.

But ours are really funny. I had a good time with the liner notes are going to be boring, but ours are really funny. I had a good time with the liner notes. There's a lot of post-production in there. Yeah, there was editing. Like, if you like the first three minutes of today's podcast, you're going to get a boner listening to the liner notes. Oh, you're going to love it. Because the banter is running wild. Oh, yeah.

There's a lot of digressions. It is a banner banter bro down. But no, it turned out great. Yeah. Really happy with the album. People seem to be enjoying it. Good. I've gotten a lot of nice comments.

But yeah, go to www.mikefinazzo.com. And we have regular CDs. Oh, yeah, so I guess we should say you can pay what you want. Yeah, it's a free album. Yeah, if you want to download it for free, awesome. If you want to donate something, that's even better. But just listen to it and enjoy it. Absolutely.

If you really want a CD and really want to support us, we have them at shows. That's right. But why do you think josh i'll ask you producer of the album why did we decide to do the pay what you want free album um after our smash hit first album yeah one itunes which we're still seeing profits from yeah Yeah, $40? Oh, my. I just got the mail. Over two years? Are you kidding? Well, I think you are obsessed with being poor.

I just, yeah, I like driving a 13-year-old car. I recently upgraded to a 13-year-old car. And I like the lifestyle. I like that I'm upgrading to poverty. So you want to ensure every 13 years you get-old car. Right. And I like the lifestyle. Yeah. I like that I'm upgrading to poverty. So you want to ensure every 13 years you get a new car. Yes. I want a 1999 Honda Accord every several years. Absolutely.

Yeah, like in 2027. Yeah. You'll be getting like a... All the 2014. It has Bluetooth, guys. My next car is going to have a CD player. But, yeah, no, I mean, so you and I probably, I shouldn't, well, you're listening to this on iTunes, so maybe I shouldn't shit on iTunes too much. I don't think Mr. iTunes is listening.

You don't think Johnny iTunes is going to be upset? I hope not. Shout out to our big fan, Johnny iTunes. Yeah, yeah. People also listen on Stitcher, which we're also on, and just the link directly from the website. I'm like, well, that's where I listen. Oh, really? No, I listen to it on iTunes.

Yeah. Yeah, as much as I bitch about iTunes, I spend a lot of money on iTunes. You're a pretty avid iTunes guy. Yeah, I just downloaded Walking on Sunshine from Katrina and the Waves for 99 cents. It was called Katrina and the Waves? That was the band's name. Wow. Hurricane Katrina.

They rocked pretty heavily. But no, so iTunes is great for some people. But we call them Jews. No. Oh, boy.'m jewish half uh ish but no talk to one once yeah met met a guy uh stromberg i don't know if i was german or uh jewish but you know whatever melvin jewishman um but uh itunes with the last album they dictated how much we could charge for it. Yep. We wanted to charge $1.99.

Yep. They made us charge $3.99. Yes. Which isn't a lot of money, but still, just the fact that they're saying you have to charge this much bothered us. Mm-hmm. And then on top of that, they take a ridiculous percentage. Yeah. You have to pay to get it on like

distributed then they take a percentage so then we found this way we're just like fuck it yeah put it on the website for free and then if people want to donate awesome which is great too and then spotify which is fun having on spotify but seriously you get fractions on the penny for every play like i i think we broke it down at one point. Stupid Genius, my hit first album, top 50 on iTunes, which means absolutely nothing. I remember we were so excited to see the charts. How many plays? How many downloads is that? We're taking pictures of the charts.

We're like, oh, my God, we're in between a George Carlin album that's 20 years old. Right, right. Screen capping it. Right. Screen capping it right screen cabinet posting it on facebook getting everybody excited then two months later it was downloaded a hundred times or whatever i don't even remember the number yeah but i remember spotify it was we were excited it was like it was 800 plays yeah i'm like i bet you were gonna get like a few hundred dollars we owed

them four thousand dollars we're still paying spot Spotify money for people to hear our album for free. Yeah, that's why I get it when bands like Radiohead. They do have enough money, but their point is for the smaller bands, that sucks. If you have a huge song, it's going to get you $9 maybe for a million plays. It doesn't even matter. With our thing, I like the idea that you can go to my website.9 maybe for a million plays. It doesn't even matter. So with our thing, I like the idea that you can go to my website. It's got a cool player. I think it looks great, and the quality didn't change at all.

It sounds great. Yeah, mix mastered all that stuff. Yeah, and you can stream it, or you can download it and listen to it on your iTunes or whateverunes or yeah or whatever and if you want to donate something awesome but we made it so cheaply that we can make our money back off the cds it shows don't tell them that so what are you doing well you're like please donate hey we're gonna make our nut back don't you worry hey we've got like 50 in donations We're doing okay $50 errors over here I mean ultimately

I just want people to listen to it And like it Yeah exactly That was the big thing Get it out to these fucking idiots Well you know I mean those were your words Please don't call the fanazos idiots

Don't you call them the fucking idiot fanazos? I call them the fintastic fanazos Okay For all you naz heads out there i like that one um yeah and uh you know i yeah check the album out you can stream it for free or if you want to donate a dollar whatever donate what you want um same with uh the digression sessions we got a little donate button on that yeah i seen? Yeah, I seen that. I donated money. I don't think, because you have the same PayPal account for everything,

right? I donated money and you sent me nasty texts about sending you money. And I was like, I was donating for the podcast. Yeah, you were patronizing me, you cunt. Yeah, so listen, if you donate, I will send you a patronizing email right back. All right? All right?

Oh, thanks for your money and your support. Those air quotes are playing so well. Oh, they're killing. Yeah, speaking of killing, now we got the plugs out of the way. Seriously, do listen to the album. It's a good album.

I was excited to produce it to have your words in my head for several months. I got sick of hearing it. That was funny. Every time you're like, hey man, I'm sorry. The other thing is the first album we did we edited so quickly.

We recorded it in March and then we released it in May. So the turnaround time was ridiculous. Yeah, there was a fevered pace. Yeah then we released it in May. So the turnaround time was ridiculous. Yeah, there was a fevered pace. Yeah, we edited it so quickly that I was sick of hearing it. This time, we were like, we're going to take months off. Yeah.

We're not going to get sick of it. It's going to be fresh. But no, I was still sick of it. Well, there just has to be chunks where you listen to it for like seven hours, you know, just editing the thing together. This was actually easy to edit yeah like all we did was really we took out like we took out bits that were on the old cd because it was an hour long show and then we took out a few other bits but like overall yeah like crowd work kind of stuff just kept it lean and mean um yeah no it

turned out great so everybody go check that out. And I'm a hero for producing it. An American treasure. And I'm also a hero for defending my lady's belongings against a thief recently, Mike Fianazzo. Yeah, I was saving this conversation for the cast because we texted about it. We texted about it. So Friday night, I do a show in Rockville with the old cool cow himself, Rami Mastafavi.

Nice guy. Nice guy. Funny guy. Great. Hilarious. Please book me. Tim Miller and Ben Kronberg. Fun show. I'm hanging out afterwards. We're chatting. And then, driving home. It's about like, I don't know, about like an hour maybe.

And then I was like, you know what? It was a good show. It was fun. I'm going to get a pizza. I'm going to treat myself to a pizza. So normally I get it delivered. But this time I was like, you know what? I'm already on the road.

Let me just pick this fucker up. So I go and pick the pizza up, which sounds like it's not important to the story, but it's a part of the timeline. So I get the pizza, and I think that probably adds maybe like 10 minutes to my trip. And I arrive in Baltimore. I get my pizza, and I park near my house in lovely Hamden, Baltimore. And my... Pistons and hillbillies.

That's what we have. A little Triple H action. Can't tell some of them apart. It's a fun game to delineate between the two. So my girlfriend has been out of town. She's been in Florida this week. That's a black guy's name. She's been in him.

Edit that one out. Is she? Okay. I mean, technically she could be. There could be a fist. There could be a straple. Right, right. I need to think about this.

There could be a spirit and a soul. Yeah, okay. Even like a metaphorical in. I'm talking about the rapper Flo Rida. I've been mispronouncing it mc flow rider i've been mispronouncing this the whole time jesus god this is embarrassing um so our car hasn't moved since wednesday and then it's friday um so okay so i park my car i'm right around the corner from where her car is. As I'm turning the corner, I have my book bag with some clothes in it.

And then, because I sweat, I sweat a little bit during the shows. And then I have my pizza in my hand with soda on top of that. So I look like the most non-threatening dude ever. I'm just like, doo-doo-doo. It's like a little after midnight. The pizza has pineapple on it. Of course. Yeah, you are the least threatening person.

No ham, just pineapple. Light cheese. I picture you whistling and talking to yourself. I can't wait to eat this pineapple cheese pizza. I got a pineapple pizza. I might get adventurous and put Tabasco sauce on it. I just get more specific to the situation. I can't fight at all.

So if you're stealing my stuff i can't defend myself so a quick question like would you say her car never moved do you think they were casing it like i well there's a apartment building right down the street from us and then there's a uh local convenience store on the other end of the street so i think they've been walking by it because there's a lot of foot traffic on the way to there or maybe he was just going to random cars uh so um as i'm turning the corner i see him i'm walking on the passenger side of her car and he's on the driver's side and i see that he has a book bag i was like hey that looks like amanda's book's book bag. And then this just shows how lame I am. I became like an angry parent.

I just go, hey, is that your book bag? And he's like, oh, no, man. Oh, I'm so drunk. I thought this was my car. So was her car open? he didn't break the window i don't know if she left it open she doesn't know either he may have just jimmied it open i don't know so um and then he he hands it to me i put the pizza on top of the car make sure the pizza's uh and then he's like oh i'm so man i'm so drunk i thought this was my car here you go man and then

he hands it to me and i'm trying to like process what's happening like this is really happening and then uh i was like yeah i'm sure it happens all the time and then as i'm saying that i'm looking in the car and i see that the glove box is still open and like everything from the glove box is like all over the seats. It just is like a mess. He was looking for something. Yeah. So like as I'm looking in the car, then he took off. I was like, what the fuck?

But luckily, yeah, he didn't break the window. Luckily, you weren't stabbed. I know, right? I was like, yeah, like I said, I just look like the most non-threatening guy with my pizza. You're like the nicest person I've ever met. I'm really surprised this story was like, you were gone. We're like, oh, sorry. You need some water, bro?

You want some pizza? Yeah. Pineapple. I was talking to somebody else about it. He just takes the pizza like, I'm so drunk. I thought this was my pizza. I'm so sorry. And yeah, he took off. And of course of course i called the cops and the cops showed up

and and it was funny the cops just like uh anything stolen it's like my girlfriend thinks she had a checkbook in there that might have gotten stolen he's like all right do you want to report it it's like uh i guess not i mean you might not get it back so in the meantime she suspended her checkbook. But the next day when I went to move her car, because I could have moved it that night, but not really because there's nowhere to park. It was super late. Everybody was already there. But the next day I found the checkbook in the car.

So this fella didn't get anything. Right. It was just like the perfect timing. Now, if I had come home and been lazy enough to get the pizza delivered to me, I would have never seen this fella. Yeah. Was there anything valuable in the book bag? Just like seven pounds of heroin in there. I'd tell her, I'd say, don't leave that in the car.

Unintended. No, it was just school books. Right, right. And I think that would have just been like insult to injury, you know, that you spend like 400 on get stolen by some fucking asshole i remember when my house got broken into i like called you on the way home yeah was it a gig yeah and i was like i it was i was gonna stay the night but i drove four hours home and it was my wife's computer got stolen that had her graduate thesis on it right right yeah so like that i think that's almost worse than just getting money stolen oh yeah

hard work oh hours and hours and hours and it's in your house what's with these thieves stealing our girlfriend's fucking collegiate shit i don't know i mean i really it's their fault for furthering themselves yeah if. If you have dreams. Yeah. I didn't see this guy breaking in to steal a dough roller. Right, right. Get in the kitchen. Make me a pie, you hoo-ah.

Oh. Yeah, exactly. So, no, it was interesting, man. That sucks, man. I mean, you're lucky time he worked out the way he did and also that you didn't get hurt yeah and then i did feel like i was like man i should have fucking chased that guy down when she told me about the checkbook but like that was just a part of my ego and then it's like if i do then what like if he had a knife or a gun or something

but no it's such a weird feeling too too. Just like, I don't know. I had all this adrenaline. I was like, that was a fucking thief. And it might have just been some drunk white trash guy. Like, oh, this car. Let me see if this is open. And he's like, yoink. But yeah.

Anyway, in conclusion, I'm a hero. Oh, man. It's a weird feeling. It's my first Thieving Experience I don't know So Is that

There's a good chance he lives in your neighborhood Absolutely Are you gonna have that moment where you're in like the grocery store And you like drop the milk with your block eyes With some Hamden white trash Yeah Tried to break into your car. It's like Usual Suspects,

but I'm looking at a wall of Metallica stickers and white trash stuff and Monster Energy drink cans. Dropped my coffee cup. I don't really remember, because it was so quick. It was seriously like 30 seconds. So I was looking at him,

looking at the car, and I looked back at him. I kind of remember his build. He was just like maybe in his mid to late 20s, like tall and kind of thin. But other than that, I don't know. He just looked like every other dude. Because he had like a coat on, so I couldn't see if he had any tattoos or anything. Yeah, it was interesting.

It might have been his first time just stealing stuff too, you know, and just be like, oh, fuck it. I'll give it a shot. And I was like, hey, is that yours? And he's like, damn it. I knew I shouldn't have done this. Here you go. Is this how you want to be when Jesus comes back?

I'm telling your mother. Yeah, exactly. I want you to think twice before you do that, mister. Oh, I guess you don't want any christmas presents this year just coal fine yeah so but yeah yeah your wife getting her uh laptop stolen that sucks yeah and i was yeah i was out of town so that was like the most helpless feeling just yeah was that a weird feeling like just like oh they're in our house like are they gonna come back because that's the feeling i had like now do i have to watch her car every fucking night you know like guy could just come back

anytime yeah i mean we got over it like pretty quickly i mean part of it was just like i mean we did spend money to like make sure our windows were reinforced and stuff like that that's good um and like we're more careful like in like if we have like the windows like uh it's like with the shades aren't down we don't like leave the laptop sitting on right the table right right right yeah like it is like pretty jarring like somebody was in our house and it was also just like kind of but like we think our dog might have scared him away. Right. Because, like, our dog gets startled pretty easily.

Yeah. Like, this morning, my jacket fell down off a hanger, and my dog started barking. So, like, I know that my dog would have freaked, like. Like, mauled that guy. And, like, you know my dog is, like, the nicest dog in the world. But, like, she would have at least barked if she heard a noise. Oh, yeah. They think that was enough to scare him off. Yeah. mauled that guy. You know my dog is the nicest dog in the world, but she would have at least barked if she heard a noise. They think that was enough to scare him off.

Because he didn't make it past four feet past the window. And she is a pit bull. I feel like something would have kicked in if there was an intruder. I don't know. He got in and out of my house. I think my dog probably licked him yeah i gotta get out of here oh no our dogs never bit anybody yeah i don't maybe that instinct would if she was if she

was in danger or something yeah yeah did i tell you a few weeks ago when i was walking my dog and she got off the leash yeah and she got the shit kicked out of her by like two other dogs yeah and like she really like it was weird like she ran towards him like oh we're gonna play right what's up buddies yeah and then i just run into like these people's yard and i see my dog with this uh can you help me with this one uh like she had this look on her face like this isn't cool this is not what i expected yeah so she's like so sweet nature. But I think like the way she looks and like how loud she is, I think would scare somebody away. Right, right, right.

So we think they just came through the window, heard the dog bark, just grabbed the computer and leave. Right by the window. Damn, that sucks. Yeah. So like they probably were in our house for like 20 seconds. Right, right, right. Yeah. It was such a weird feeling though. though but yeah i hear you about getting over it like my adrenaline was like going like the whole time then i was like what the fuck and then eventually it's like oh yeah i got this

pizza you know like it was weird you know like i talked to amanda on the phone and she was way more calm and like we ended up like kind of arguing a bit too right right it's like you didn't even ask how I'm doing. This is where I do a feat, you know? And cut to, like, 2 in the morning, and I'm like, oh, yeah, that pizza. Right, right. I should watch the Americans and eat pizza.

Like, you know what I mean? It was like what I was going to do anyway. Right, right. And, yeah. But, yeah, it was insane. Also, another big moment of the weekend happened for the Nas man over there. Yeah. You opened for, let's see here, Dennis the Menace?

No. Dennis Miller. Yeah. There it is. Dennis Miller. Monday Night Football's Dennis Miller. Is that how it is, Dennis Miller. Monday Night Football's Dennis Miller. Is that how you brought him to the stage? Yeah, yeah. He did say I could introduce him as whatever he wanted.

So part of me was like, should I? Or that probably wouldn't be cool. Yeah. By the way, I like how you picked up a piece of paper that no one could see. I'm method. I don't want to ruin the illusion. Don't. Don't.

Yeah, that was great. to ruin the illusion. That was great. Theater of the mind. Great actor. I'm surprised there wasn't an air horn at the end of that. How dare you. I opened up for Dennis Miller on Friday. Super nice guy.

1,500 fucking people yeah sold out show 1500 people that's the most you performed for today a lot yeah previous highest was like 500 holy shit so yeah it was it was crazy yeah so were you uh were you shitting your pants like um on your way to the microphone no i think that it actually helped that i got the gig last minute yeah so like i didn't have a lot of time to like build anticipation and when i got there i was just excited to be there right and like yeah i was like a little nervous but like once i was on stage i didn't think about how many people there was or anything like that yeah it was uh yeah i think i was just happy to I didn't think about how many people there was or anything like that. Yeah. It was... Yeah, I think I was just happy to be there.

More nervous about meeting him and all that stuff than the actual performance part. Did you guys hang backstage? Yeah, that was the thing. Because I had heard a story. Somebody said they worked with him. And he pretty much walked in right before his set left right after. And they never really met him. Right.

He did the show together. But before the show, I was sitting in my dressing room. I had my own dressing room. Of course. I had my name on the door. As per your rider. I didn't have a rider, but I had several bottles of Fiji water that I stole. Oh, yeah.

Keeping it classy over there. More on what I took home later silverware and candle holders yeah I took the robe from the hotel room did you stuff the pockets with the napkins right right I just I don't drink coffee but I stole coffee okay no I didn't do that but but no so yeah I'm just sitting in my dressing room just like going over notes and stuff and all of a sudden he just uh knocks on my door like the door's open he kind of knocks like hey nice to meet you and he's like do you mind if i sit down for a second and yeah he just uh sat in my dressing room we just chatted for a little bit it was very pleasant and um you didn't want to pull a power move and be like get the fuck out yeah uh i was like see

this means not welcome but um no just super and then you point to the swastika tattoo is that what you're talking about yep exactly i was an american history x reference okay um but no it couldn't have been a nicer guy yeah and he was really funny um yeah and uh but yeah it was i was worried about the uh because his manager had emailed me the night before it was like try to work clean right and so i just wanted to ask him like hey like i'm not dirty anyway but like is there anything in particular you don't want me to say and he was like oh you can say whatever the fuck you want i don't care yeah it was really nice about that i asked him what he wanted me to bring him up as he goes you can say whatever you want nice he's like very laid back and that's so cool

that he came to your dressing room yeah went out of his way to chat and whatever nice really super nice guy were you just super nervous like of course mr miller take a seat i did call him mr miller twice he's like seriously call me dennis like um but uh yeah just really it was a cool experience and his fans are a little older but they were nice and yeah it was at a delaware casino right yeah yeah yeah um but it's yeah it's in a it was like a pretty like posh place like i think a lot of people go there just to like get away and vacation and stuff yeah so like i don't know how many people were actually from the area and how many people were there right just gambling how many people that came from like surrounding cities just to see him

yeah um because i think he's been there a few times and he draws pretty well sure sure um but uh but yeah they were definitely older and very republican but uh they were they were good to me so we're like hey good job white guy i got a lot of uh like props after the show and uh sold some copies of cheery side of them some merch available at that mike oh yeah i don't think we ever said the name of the album. Yeah, The Cheery Side of Denial. The Cheery Side of Denial. But, yeah, sold some CDs. And then, like, the next morning, I'm eating breakfast at the hotel.

Like, somebody came up to me and quoted one of the jokes. Oh. Was it Dennis Miller? No, no. But then, as I'm, like, leaving the hotel, I had three separate people come up to me and say, great show last night. Oh, that's awesome. So yeah, it was really cool.

They were all really nice and stuff. Yeah. And the staff over there was amazing and nice. It was really cool. Yeah, it was the best hotel you've stayed in to date as well. Dude, the hotel, they put me in a suite, two 50-inch TVs. Like right next to each other. we don't even give a fuck. One in like the quote bedroom, and then there was like a living room area.

Hey, on this podcast, we do air quotes. Yeah. Living room area. Uh-huh. And then there was a jacuzzi. There was a shower. And like the night I was there, I'm brushing my teeth, and I notice there's a remote on the sink.

And I'm like, what's this for? And I'm like, is there a TV in the bathroom? And I'm looking all over for a TV. And finally, I press power on the remote, and the middle of the mirror in the bathroom turns into a TV. Fucking A. And I felt like one of the Beverlyly hillbillies just like oh my gosh it's so nice man but no it was like so like crazy fancy yeah it's like several hundred dollars

a night to stay there probably more for a suite i haven't have to be i have to be um but then on top of that like they paid me really well put me me in a really nice hotel. They give me a card. They're like, yeah, if you get hungry, this covers your food. You can use it at any restaurant in the area. Just kind of like an all-purpose kind of credit card deal. It was like a gift card, but they have six restaurants there, and it worked everywhere there. So I get dinner, and they're like, you have $280 left on this card. Jesus.

And, like, I'm thinking, like, it was for, like, one meal or something. And I'm like, they could be $300 for food. Wow. So, yeah, I ended up, like, going. They had, like, a bakery there. And I ordered, like, a ton of shit and just brought it home. Okay. Because I'm, I should live in Hampton.

I'd say that's your move. Yeah. And, yeah, that's me going baller. I got 60 dozen donuts. Well, yeah, I go there and I'm like, I want three pies. I thought you were going to be like, so I got them to fucking put a crab inside of a lobster, feed it butter, and then dip it in gold. I was like, I want three pies. And they're like, three slices of pie?

And I was like, no, three whole pies. Then you threw the card down in a slow-mo, dramatic way. I was like Jordan Belfort in Wolf of Wall Street. I'm just spending money like crazy. I'm just like, I want 30 Diet Cokes. There's a broad in your hotel room. You're taping Diet Cokes, too. Right, right.

But yeah, so it was like just crazy how nice they, you know. I'm used to doing shows in hotels in Charleston, West Virginia, where you don't get a discount on food. And yeah, they were so sweet there. They're like, oh, you're the comedian? We won't stab you. Have a great night. We won't harvest your organs in the morning. Have a nice day.

Yeah, that's cool, man, that people were coming up. That's always a nice day. That's cool, man, that people were coming up. That's always a nice feeling. Even if they don't mean it. Hey, thanks. You ever run into this? Like the couple and the woman's a little nutty. And you're like, oh, man. I just feel bad for that guy.

First of all, she was wearing pants that I will describe as yoga pants that were made out of trash bags, I think. Which show was this? This was at Fredericksburg last night at the Courtyard Marriott Hotel. I've actually done shows in Fredericksburg. I did the Liberty Laughs there. It's a good club. So I like that area. I was expecting it to be more blue-collar than it was. done shows in fredericksburg i did the liberty laughs there and it's a good club yeah so i like that area and i like i was expecting it to be more blue collar than it was but it's a pretty

gentrified area for the most part yeah yeah it was a cool town everybody was really cool it's just uh this um this woman uh uh she's kind of like in her 40s but you could like wearing like the super tight kind of weird trash bag pants and like uh dyed hair and just you know it was it was just weird and uh her and i guess her boyfriend were like oh this is such a fun show you guys are great you're really good it's like oh cool cool cool do uh do you guys come to this show every month because it's a monthly show there she was like no it's her first time and like making eye contact with me. She's like, you popped our cherry. You popped my cherry.

So our comedy cherry. And you're just like, why are you saying these things? Yeah. I did a show at the DC Improv Lounge last week. Yeah. And during the host, some girl in the front row randomly yelled, I'm a virgin. And the host is like, what? She's like, it's my first comedy show.

It's like, cool, cool. It's like, can you not sleep at night until your boyfriend's jealous? Like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah. Sorry, that just popped in my head as far as random weirdos. Yeah, so the Dennis Miller show,

that's a good credit to have. It's good credit. It was a good experience performing in front of that many people. That was weird. Just because it's just so different. It's not that it's better or worse. It's just the laughs come in.

Yeah, was it slower? Just the distance-wise for the laughs to travel. That's what I was most proud of is like because i kept telling myself that like hold for laughs don't step on anything yeah it's gonna take a long time for him yeah because you're kind of in a vacuum up there right a little bit and i actually like got there early and walked around the stage before the show just because i didn't want to be surprised by anything and yeah there's more stage over here oh my gosh there's a gargoyle on the court

no like i just did like i wanted to see everything there's a fell eating spaghetti dinner over here where did you come from yeah but um but but yeah so i just to get a feel for how big the room was yeah and like i didn't want to like go there and just, holy shit, this is huge. It's just you looking around in awe. It's weird because that many people, the laughs don't sound like laughs. They just sound like noise or like a roar almost. Yeah, exactly. I was proud when I listened back to my set.

I didn't step on one laugh. I held for everything. My timing was actually surprisingly good. Good, good. Did you have an idea in mind of like, I'm going to say a joke and then to Mississippi, kind of just wait? No, just more of like I was trying to be like, and that's my nervous habit anyways. I'll push through stuff and get a little quicker.

Yeah, I think most, most like, because when you're up there, like, okay, that was sad. Next thing. So, like, and I know what jokes in particular hit harder. So, like, just I was like on those particular jokes, just be patient and just wait until the laughs die off until you go to the next line. Right, right, right. But, yeah, it turned out great. That's awesome. Did you talk to the Miller man afterwards?

No, he had bolted right after the show. He just got on a helicopter and got out of there. Yeah, he flew to his Fox News home. No, I was in the lobby. Bill O'Reilly picked him up in the Fox News chopper. Right. Yeah, I was in the lobby and stuff talking to people and selling CDs after the show, and he had left like right after.

Wow. Interesting. Interesting. But according to the manager, he was like really happy with everything. Nice. But yeah, it was really cool. Fucking A, man. Well, that's great.

Well, what else is going on with the Mike Fiannazza? What are the plans? What is going on? Show wise. What's the long-term plan try to get into bigger and better clubs uh-huh i'm in a few of them now yeah um try to perform less in bowling alleys and more in real real comedy you're not ruling out bowling alleys completely no just less yeah less bowling alleys no i mean yeah i uh i've gotten some decent credits now uh-huh and i've worked some good clubs so just to kind of keep expanding like my the number of clubs i work's gone up each year

right regularly working clubs yeah so uh yeah i'm hoping that by the end of this year I'm doing this full time. Wow. Out of the day job. That's the big transition. That's the hope. Interesting. Ever going to move? Ever going to make the move to a New York or L.A. or South Dakota?

You never know. I hear Boise is industry. Boy. I don't know. But I was just in New York for a week last week. Just doing shows. On the grind. I would love to live there full time.

But if I'm going to be doing the road work and stuff, like it just doesn't make sense to be based out of there. So it's kind of like doesn't even matter. Yeah. Sort of. And also we live so close to New York. It's like I like being an hour from D.C. and three and a half hours from New York.

We're an hour and a half from Philly. I can go to so many of these bigger cities. Yeah, I guess if you don't have the day job, it's not as bad if you go for three days, four days at a time. Gotcha. Interesting. So yeah, I think I'm going to stick around here for a little bit. You know who Seton is, right? Yeah, Seton Smith.

I think he moved the right way. There was nothing else for him to prove in D.C. I think that's the way to do it, too. Once you kind of reach the ceiling of wherever you are. He was working every club. He was headlining everywhere. He was making a living doing comedy. And then he moved to New York because that's where the industry is.

And if he was going to go up anymore it would be after he moved yeah so like i think that's what i like how i would plan it out right i just know too many people that went from being you know features at comedy clubs like b-list comedy clubs and like just started to like catch their footing and they basically went to new york and became micers again. Kind of like a college one and done, going to the NFL, not making it, riding the pine for a while. It takes a second to get the footing back. Exactly. Yeah, I don't want to be trying to think of a basketball player

that left college early and went nowhere. We can just make one up. That's the point, though. Kobe went after high school successful. LeBron James successful. We don't remember the dozens of guys who tried it and failed. Yeah. Like Jermaine O'Neal.

Yeah. I think I made that name up. Yeah. There's also Jamarcus Microphone. Yep. Jamal Jackson. Uh-huh. Jesse Jackson. People forget. Shitty basketball player. Tupac Shakur.

Uh-huh. I've heard of him. Drake. Yeah. Just hosted SNL. I like his song, Baby, You Got What I Need. Say he's just a friend. No, I'm pretty sure. Is that not Drake? i'm pretty sure that's

business marquee oh okay that's who that is dot biz yeah um how are we good on time yeah yeah we're great we're about 45 in okay about 45 it seems like 43 okay well we're getting there we're getting there we're getting there uh No, I think that's great, man. And you've been doing comedy for three or four years now? I'm a little over four years. A little over four. So, yeah, you've got a great progression here. I mean, it is good that every year seems to be getting bigger and better.

Yeah, like it's sorted out. I worked one club my first year, and then it was like two or three my second year. Last year it was 12. This year I'm hoping to hit 20 year and then it was like two or three my second year. Last year it was 12. This year I'm hoping to hit 20. Just take it from there. Doing more theater shows would be cool. And we're doing the show on the 29th at the

is that it? The Color Me Funny show? Oh yeah! Now that I got these big gigs I forget these. Bars that smell like a fish's asshole. I forget that we just recorded a CD of Bel Air. Now I'm like, what, Bel Air?

I don't remember what that is. Oh, geez. Do they even have bathroom mirrors with TVs there? Yeah, I think my rider's going to change after this weekend. No, that's like I did a show for 1,500 people on Friday, and tonight I'm doing a show at High Tops. Yes, Timonium, Maryland. Yeah, I'm sure there'll be 20 people,

and five of them will be playing pool. And 15 will be wasted. Yeah, and calling me a faggot repeatedly. And that's just the other comics. Yeah moran is on the show so um could happen but no uh yeah i'm really looking forward to uh the 29th i always like doing the color me funny room so that'll be fun yeah i'm gonna do the jordan story that night good i always ask you to do it i know and i will i will do that. Okay, cool. Yeah. It'll just be nice. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. No, go ahead. It'll just be nice to, like, I feel like I've hashed out since the CD, like, a new feature set.

And I think, like, these next crop of shows, I'm going to be working on more new material and doing crowd work. Yeah, that's great, man. Just trying to build up the next set. Yeah, I mean, you're definitely one of the... Not to wash your balls here, because they've already been cleaned in a bathroom that has a TV in the mirror. However...

He did have someone doing that. Okay. It was a Dennis Miller's rider to have his middle... Yeah, because he doesn't want to be dirtied by it, right? Sullied by the host's dirty balls. He's been burned by that one too many times bill o'reilly um no i i you know that you are doing what you gotta do doing uh love it sounds so cliche but like just doing a bunch of shows writing trying to get in front of different audiences and stuff which is great like uh and uh it's inspiring for

me because i just hit my first year doing stand-up you're doing great man oh thank you i uh you know have a lot of friends in dc and stuff that talk about how funny you are and oh really you've gotten a lot better in a year the thing was like you say you just had a year in stand-up but you're always a funny person and you've been performing for years. Yeah, I did improv for a year or two before that. And you also love stand-up and watch so much stand-up. Yeah. It wasn't that crazy of a change.

Right, right. But it is weird. I mean, once you're up there, just the feeling of actually hearing your voice in a microphone and then seeing people staring at you. Not that they're judging, but they're just like, okay just like okay what you're like well i don't know what what's the guys want to hear some of my tweets what's the hardest thing from going from improv to stand up is it the fact that people's expectations different because with improv if it doesn't work you could say we're making this up as we go along uh or the fact that there's nobody else to fall back on there there's that but there's also with an improv audience they know going into it you're walking

on a wire of like all right this might not work but when it does like great like they're pulling for you a little bit with stand-up with some shows they're kind of just like all right make me laugh but with the improv they're like make us laugh you can do it you know But with the improv, they're like, make us laugh, you can do it. You know, it's stand-up, they're like, I don't know, I don't care. There's nothing like, and I've been in a lot of those shows where you look at the audience and it's almost like they resent you for entertaining them.

Like, who do you think, oh, you think you're special because you go up there? It's like, well, you came to watch it. Like, what? Yeah, I don't have your family in my basement. How am I the dick here? Yeah, I'm not holding you for ransom. ransom well that was like when we did that show um the improv stand-up show a few weeks ago yeah that was like the most supportive audience even when you're doing new bits and stuff they were just like so attentive and so great it's like you wish it was

like that every night yeah i know yeah it is weird when you get spoiled like that. You're just like, oh, wow, these people are all on the same page. Right. It's great. Right, right. Yeah. And I mean, that's one of the things, too. It's just certain stuff like what you were mentioning with like timing and so much stuff

like a pause could change something. You know, with improv, it's more like you do take your time and you are kind of like trying to not milk bits, but, you know, just be in the moment with it and kind of take your time and you are kind of like trying to not milk uh bits but you know just be in the moment with it and kind of take your time right but with stand up you really have to be like all right i need to pause for five seconds here because if i say if i go too quickly it's going to get completely missed or if i forget to do like a look around or you know something like that yeah it's weird because i think that with you going to stand-up, you're learning how to make your stuff more structured

and more of an act. And for me, I've always been incredibly structured and I'm trying to loosen up more and make it, give myself more wiggle room. I do like riffing around and stuff. That's, I think, why Rory is one of my favorites to watch. People like that that can't... Rory C lost in new york yep uh rory scoble and you know that that is that is one of the fun things to like oh even locally when we watch like schlegel

and stuff it's he'll go off to places to where you're just like i didn't know you could do that yeah yeah like john muma and people like that that are just so funny even watching uh ben kronberg by the way that's the heat making that noise which is terrifying terrifying to the uninitiated most people are just like what is your pipe gonna explode i'm like no everybody's does that right i think there's air in the pipes i just like that it's white noise to you at this point. I'm flinching every time it's happening. Yeah, I know. It's scary if you actually think about it, that it could probably explode.

But anyway, comedy. My career's at its peak so far that I get my face splashed by hot water and I look like Harvey Dent after an accident. Hey, you're the hero comedy needs? Deserves. I'm not the hero it deserves, but I'm what it needs right now. I'm the white knight. You are the white knight.

No. You are dressed like a KKK member right now. Theater of the mind, everybody. What was it? Oh. Yeah, having played around and yeah kronberg um at the the green room at the arlington draft house which uh it's like the front room there which is like holds maybe like 60 people somewhere somewhere around there it's really cool it's like compact

and um really easy to get the infectious laughter going uh there was a table up front same thing we were talking about earlier girl uh with her guy but kept saying stuff where it's just like why are you doing this to this guy you know just like he would make like a joke about sex and she'd be like yeah bet or you know something like that and you're like shut up well that's like is there any like comedy fan listening to this you're the one that told me to check it out is It's the Tom Segura podcast. Oh, yeah. Your mom's house.

With the benefit where he talks about the guy in the front row just saying shit after every joke and he loses it. Yeah. That's like the best

comedy podcast in terms of breaking down a set I've ever heard. Oh, yeah, yeah. And so for all you comedy nerds out there, listen to that. It's so good.

It's called The Toronto Bombing. The Winnipeg Bombing. Winnipeg. Okay, yeah, yeah. I knew it was in Canada. Yeah, the podcast is Your Mom's House and it's so good it's called the uh toronto bombing of the winnipeg winnipeg okay yeah yeah i knew it was in canada yeah the podcast is your mom's house and it's so good don't ever correct me on the bro down throw down again okay but mike moran hasn't come yet and that's what makes him finish let's talk entourage uh entourage sucks um no ben uh like the girl like she wasn't that bad. It wasn't after like every joke, but just stuff where it was like, you know, making everybody uncomfortable.

Well, the worst part about that is that person isn't trying to ruin the show. No, no, no. Like she's a good, she's a sweet person. She wants to have a good time. She either doesn't realize she's hurting or think she's helping. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, it's like that's what sucks about that is you don't want to go off at that person yeah because it's like

yeah it's not like a heckler who's like you suck when it's like yeah pretty much everybody's gonna be like that guy's the asshole we're on your side yep but it's like you can't be too mean to a person who's just trying to have a good time no no no so it's like okay well he and he was really good about it um they had a high table so he was putting his beer on it right right and uh he was going to and uh the girl said something he was like you want to cuckold your man is that what you like then he like took his beer and he's just like why don't we drink our beers and we'll cuckold them there's something like that and i heard the girl's boyfriend was drinking water. He's like, well, you just sip on your water. You like that, huh?

And then like the girls like laughing a whole bunch. I mean, it was really funny, but it was that type of riffing where it's like, he kind of embraced her, like kind of interrupting a little bit and made a joke out of it. And, but still like,

she just kept saying stuff and like, he's a great comic. Oh, so good. So funny. Um, yeah. Yeah. That's why I love uh it's like i think my favorite comic working now is like marin and it's like what i love about him is he has these

great stories but he loves like real moments and yeah um like i love when i saw him in philly last year there was a lot of reacting to what people are saying and sticking around with the audience yeah to springboard into other stuff yeah for somebody that's uh claims to be so uncomfortable in his own skin right great on stage i think that that just comes with time you know i'm not saying anything profound there hey more stage time the better you'll wait if you work hard at this pull out your notepad finazzo yep that's right get better. Yep, that's right. If you ever want to perform for Dennis Miller, write this down.

Okay? Please. Please. Yeah. Yeah. No, I am excited for you and your success in the future years.

Yeah, doing these shows. I was telling my dad about it and he was just like, does anybody else do this? What you're doing? All this stuff? And I was like, yeah, it's kind of a part of it, I was telling my dad about it. He was just like, does anybody else do this, what you're doing, all this stuff? I was like, yeah, it's kind of a part of it, I think. I was telling him about all the stuff that you do and Jason Weems. I know Moran, his New Year's resolution now is to get up at least four to five times a week. I'm like, Jesus Christ.

Mike's been working his ass off. I actually hosted a show the other night or it was when i filled him um for woodworth at coco lane oh yeah mike did a spot he was great like his new stuff he's working on is really good yeah i'm proud of him for because mike we all know mike's always been funny oh so funny he's definitely working harder now yeah yeah i think yeah i think he's he's being hard on himself too you know it's like four or five times a week which is a lot because he does improv too and then a full-time job and all that stuff so yeah it's crazy we're talking about him as he's in the corner jerking

off in the twinkie yep waiting for us to pee on him uh poor boy uh poor poor boy yeah it is weird like in comedy there really is no shortcut you just kind of got to do it a lot. And you're doing it the right way. But I think part of it is like we learned from the right people. Yeah. Like the people you and I gravitate towards are the Jason Weems, like locally, Schlegel and all those guys. You're Jeff Dunham's.

Yeah, I mean, I remember. Carrot Tops. Right. I remember like when I first started doing comedy, I got a book for Christmas about Bill Hicks. and all those guys you're jeff dunham's yeah i mean i remember uh carrot tops right i remember like when i first started doing comedy i got a book for christmas about bill hicks and it talks about how he did like one year he did like 300 sets in a year and he credits that with jesus christ and this was when he was still in texas yeah he also started when he was 16 right right yeah he's still a teenager yeah have you seen the the doc the documentary about yeah yeah it's great where they show that footage of him when he's 16 yeah yeah he's just killing yeah and it also it's like you you look at it you go all the materials kind

of weak but his timing was like well that was a part of it too like the faces and stuff like you could definitely see uh the where his evolution came from you know like even just like but it was great because the jokes were about stuff a 16-year-old would say. It's what he should be talking about. Yeah, where he's like, my dad says,

he's like, just be honest. And I'm like, you sure you want me to be honest, dad? And he does that kind of look around. No, actually, I opened up for Carl LeBeau once. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, who was like Kennison's guy. Yeah. And he brought Hicks on the road when he was like 16 or 17. Yeah. So I was like nerding out just asking him Hicks stories. And he was just talking about how his work ethic as a teenager was ridiculous. Right. And how he really just dove into it.

Yeah. But it's like, I mean, Those are the guys I always admired. I don't feel like there's anybody who's truly great at stand-up that didn't get to where they are by just working their ass off and doing a million sets. The one thing I do need to get better on as we're wrapping it up here is just going up with nothing,, trying to like work on new stuff. Because just being like, all right, I think this is funny, but not knowing the beats and just not being afraid to bomb at open mics, you know.

Which is just like, I don't know, it's a weird thing to have to like bomb in front of your peers. Everybody knows it's a part of it, like part of the gig, but nobody. You got to pick a time and a place for it right we have enough rooms around here or it's like we know everybody and it's pointless to do the stuff we know works at an open mic absolutely absolutely yeah that's like i mean last week i went up to charles village pub yeah and i did like seven new minutes it was pretty rough like there was a few laughs in there. It was just ideas. But then the next night, I did another open mic and it got a little bit better.

Then Wednesday, I did two sets and by the second one, those bits that were just kind of like half-baked ideas were fully formed bits and doing well. It's just the process. Exactly. But I'm proud of you. You're doing great in comedy. Oh, stop oh stop you i mean if we

just do a little bit about you know intruders oh and uh carjackers yeah um now mike's holding up a sign that says black people right now by the way i'm holding up a sign that says not welcome and when I say a sign I mean a literal symbol that looks like a swastika I drew it quickly ace of base I saw the sign parenthesis a swastika yeah as we're ending here

on the ass kissing segment but we are friends and I feel like, you know what? You deserve the kudos. I enjoy doing this because I don't think this is different than a conversation we would have. I think you'd be a little more racist with the mics off.

Which is sad. That's a 2014 resolution of mine. Rome wasn't built in a day by a bunch of filthy Italians. By these meatball grubbing motherfuckers. Patchouli steak motherfuckers. Gold chain wife beating.

We all look like Danny Aiello in every movie. He's dead. That was Danny ILO from The Professional. I thought you was do the right thing. That too. Because I was going to say kill Radio Rahim. He killed him.

Radio Rahim. That was Danny ILO from Hudson Hawk. Yeah. So let's wrap it up here because i gotta get going soon now hosting tonight give me some uh give me some hosting uh tips you've told me some before now after watching uh ramin host who's a who's one of the best he's just a phenomenal comic as it is but when he goes up on stage he's kind of i don't want to say like fearless because that sounds cliche but like very confident and then

like he'll make fun of people a little bit but it's not like he keeps it light it's not rude like he definitely takes jabs but like he commits to it so hard that people are like oh okay right but he's so likable on stage yeah yeah to not be on board yeah like somebody um the shows he's doing at rockville uh he's either gonna stop doing them there or changing the venue that he's doing and uh he told the crowd about it and he's gotten uh some emails of people saying how bum they are that the show's not gonna be there and one of them was uh i'm one of the emails said uh i'm really gonna miss being told how much of a lame old white person I am every month. You know, but they love it.

So it's like, it's tact, you know, versus being like, hey, you're stupid and you're ugly. Your next comic, you know. And I'm like, uh. So, yeah, just watching him and just a great comic as is, but like a great host gets the energy up. He sets his rooms up with all the lighting and stuff. Beyond that, just hosting. Give me some tips. Maybe even for some of our listeners out there.

Keep it relatively clean. You're very likable on stage. So it's not like you're going to be polarizing. Oh, stuff. But I think just remember, it's like you're the host at a party. It's like you're welcoming people in. Your job is to just welcome the guest in to see the other guys. So you just be like, hey, Mike's going to be here soon.

Would you like some fucking Triscuits? Yeah. But instead you say, would you like some Triscuits? Yeah. Right. Okay. Yeah. And then other than that, just do the opposite of what Michael Richards does on stage.

Okay. Let's see. Instead of put a fork up his ass, put a spoon up his ass. Yep. Nailed it. Got it. I'm going to write that down. Did you listen to the WTF with Ed Begley Jr.?

I did. That was great. it was really good but uh i didn't know his dad was an academy award-winning actor yeah or the fact that he was in a comedy duo ed bagley jr michael richards yeah weird is that that is what is it michael richards i thought he had a small part in like spinal tap he might i don't know i feel like that like he ran in a lot of the same circles and yeah, because Ed Begley Jr. was in that, so probably. So I feel like it's one of those things, like it sounds weird based on Michael Richards now,

but I guess for the time it wasn't that. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, let's wrap this up. So thatmikefinazzo.com. Thatmikefinazzo.com. Get the album. Check out the show dates. Two albums.

We got Stupid Genius, the most recent. Which we talked about putting Stupid Genius up for free, too. Yeah, we could. If anybody hadn't gotten it yet. Yeah, I think there even might be a contract with iTunes or something. So maybe we can get rid of that. We'll continue to listen to that on Spotify for free. Yeah.

We'll get 17 cents. Keep us grounded, everybody. But yeah, you get the album on thatmikefinazzo.com. Got some shows coming up. You can check those out there. But more importantly, check out Me and Josh. Hey now. January 29th.

That's right. Main Street Oyster House. Free show. Free show. Bel-Air, Maryland. We got a few good comics on there. You're on it. Jess Brodkin.

Jessica Brodkin's featuring for me. She's great. She's super sweet. Our buddy Brian Preston's on it. Love that Brian Preston. Yeah, she'll be a lot of fun. And I think our friend Brandon Lascura's hosting. Oh.

Oh. All right. Well, yeah, go check that out. And all the details for that show as far as times and addresses, as well as the other shows that me and Moran have are at digressionsessions.com slash calendar. January, yeah, it's been a really busy month. I'm going to start doing Unscripted at the end of the month, which is going to be a lot of fun. It's a completely improvised play, two-act play.

There's sets and lighting cues and music and and stuff and it's uh it's a lot of fun so i went a few years ago um before you were in yeah and it's a great show yeah probably when heather was in it maybe but yeah it was yeah it was uh kate jones and prescott yeah yeah prescott's directing it it's great um it's a great show yeah it's been going on i think for i want to say seven years. But this is my first year doing it. So I'm excited for that. Bunch of stand-up dates coming up and all that stuff.

So we really appreciate those listening. Our last episode had a lot of listens in Poland. And I hope that continues. As they say in Poland, hello. I don't know what they say in Poland. Hello. I don't know what they say in Poland. I'm horrible. But yeah, we really do appreciate everybody listening. Follow me on Twitter.

I'm at BetterRobotJosh. Mike Moran is at MichaelMoran10. And Mike Fonazzo is at Pontifex. No, I'm kidding. That's the Pope. I think that's it. We really appreciate everybody that's listening. Go check out FNAZA's album.

Come see us live. Oh, yeah, the donate button. If you want to condescend to us and click that donate button, go to digressionsessions.com. And other than that, we love you. And if you like somebody, tell somebody. That's the new sign off. Because I accidentally said that once. I wanted to say,

I was trying to say, if you like the podcast, tell somebody. And I was... If you like somebody, like somebody? Is that it? You love somebody. No, I said, if you like somebody, tell somebody. If you like somebody,

tell somebody. Yeah. It seems like that's going to get some feelings hurt. I don't know. I think that's good. Like, hey, I like you or I like so-and-so.

But yeah, I was trying to look at the dates on the calendar and I was like, yeah, okay. And if you like somebody, tell somebody.

And Moran was just like, what? I was like, what, okay. And if you like somebody, tell somebody. And Moran was just like, what? I was like, what? What did I say? And yeah. So that's the new sign-off. I dig it. You want to join me? You do the second half.

Ready? This will be the official ending. And as always, if you like somebody... Tell somebody. Nailed it. Thanks for having me. Moran, watch out. Fonazo killing it over there.

Bye-bye, everybody. All right. All right. Hey. Hey. Hi. All right. Why is it recording in both? It doesn't...

Oh, this thing's fucking...