The Digression Sessions - Ep. 121 - Mike Finazzo! (@ThatMikeFinazzo)

Episode Date: July 4, 2014

Follow Us On Twitter! @ThatMikeFinazzo – Mike Finazzo @BetterRobotJosh – Josh Kuderna @MichaelMoran10 – Mike Moran @DigSeshPod – For Podcast Updates! Hola DigHeads! On this week’s episode, Josh sits down with comedian, film-maker, and musician, Mike Finazzo! That’s right! It’s another edition of the Brodown Throwdown!  Mike's debut CD Stupid Genius was released on May 6, 2012 and quickly charted on the iTunes Top 50.  His sophomore album The Cheery Side of Denial was released on January 3, 2014 for free on his website.  GET IT NOW! Thanks for all the love Dig Heads! If you can swing it please drop our asses a few bones via the “Donate” button on the website. Also please subscribe to Digression Sessions on Stitcher and iTunes. Thanks everyone! We love you!

Welcome to the Digression Sessions Podcast. Hey everybody, I'm Josh Koderna. And I'm Mike Moran. And you're listening to the Digression Sessions Podcast, a Baltimore-based comedy talk show hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence as we interview local and non-local comedians writers musicians and anyone else we find creative and interesting yes

who's the guest this week mike fanazo is our guest on this week's program the lovely the talented the uber mensch mr mike fanazo comedian filmmaker and all-around great guy that's right you guys are about to listen to another bro down throw down between me josh cadern and my good friend mike fanazo who has a free album available at his website. If you go to thatmikefanazzo.com, which I produced, and so you know, it's just lovely, just lovely, super funny stuff. Actually, Mike has two albums out. This most recent one is The Cheery Side of Denial. Like I said, that's available for free at his website, thatmikefinazzo.com. And Stupid Genius, his first release, is on iTunes, Spotify, Amazon, Google Play, all that good stuff. 8-Track, I don't know why we did it, but we figured we'd cover all our bases.

And yeah, you can follow him on Twitter as well. He is at thatmikefinazzo. How about that for branding? Thatmikefinazzo.com, at that Mike Fonazo on Twitter. Oh, my goodness. This kid knows how to brand. He really does. This is just a one-on-one conversation between me and Mike,

and we talk about everything from Friday Night Lights to the Orioles. So, you know, that's a typical conversation for Mike and I. No, we had a lot of fun. And I'm doing the thing where I crack myself up in the intro and we talk about that and how it drives us nuts that Chris Hardwick does it. But yet, here I am doing it. And we talk about a lot of podcasts and I love all of them. So, you know, just a podcast where you talk about podcasts. That's what it's all about.

Thank you guys for listening. Again, sorry for the delay in episodes and sorry for laughing at myself. But I feel like every episode I'm like, hey, guys, we're going to get regular with the episodes, I promise. But actually, we're releasing this on July 4th. Happy birthday again, America. Happy birthday. And we're going to have a new episode up on Monday as well. It's going to be a one-on-one.

And we're going to try our goddamnedest to have an episode up every week. And we actually might be on a network soon, a network of Baltimore podcasts, which we hope to grow more on that as things develop. That said, we're going to get in the episode in a second, but I just want to plug a few things for me and Mr. Mike Moran, who's not on this episode, but you can check him out on Twitter. My co-host, he is at Michael Moran 10 on Twitter. He contributes to what weekly, which is an online magazine. Go to what weekly.com to check that out. Uh,

me, I'm on Twitter as well. Josh Katerna at better robot. Josh, uh, follow me there. Also on Instagram, um,

at better robot, Josh, and you can go to digression sessions.com slash calendar for upcoming shows. Uh, July's looking pretty busy. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'll be at Artscape this year in Baltimore. Next week, July 10th, I will be at the Green Room at the Arlington Draft House

hosting the Cool Cal Comedy Show. Looking forward to that. And then on the 12th, I'll be in Baltimore and at the DC Arts Center. Baltimore at 8 o'clock at Zissimo's doing stand-up. 10 o'clock at the DC Arts Center hosting a night of improv and stand-up. Should be a lot of fun. So check out digressionsessions.com slash calendar. And, yeah, I want to do a plug for one of our friends.

Past guest, super funny guy and talented animator Grant Lindahl. His former partner, Ben Luce, they contributed to a project for comedian Liz Mealy in New York called Damaged. They were animating her web series about these young robots, and Ben moved out to Portland, and now he's collaborating and still doing animation out there but he's actually collaborating with a really cool band called Fang Moon that's right Fang Moon out of Portland and he's doing a kickstarter for that band they're trying to animate their video and they're trying to make like this really cool kind of like it's like 80s anime mixed with like heavy metal magazine

kind of vibe and it looks really cool. And they have a Kickstarter up that you can contribute to. If you just Google like Fang Moon animated music video Kickstarter, you'll be able to find it. And go contribute to that because they have all kinds of cool prizes. If you donate a certain amount of money, they'll actually animate you into the video, which would be really cool. But then they have a bunch of other stuff like stickers and posters that you can get for donating.

So check that out. Go support Ben Luce, who's a listener of the show and a good dude. And, yeah, well, thank you guys for listening. Go check that out. Like I said, Fang Moon, their Kickstarter. Follow us on Twitter. Enjoy the episode. Sorry for the rambling.

Happy birthday, America. And thank you Twitter. Enjoy the episode. Sorry for the rambling. Happy birthday America and thank you guys so much for listening. We love y'all! And I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free. And I won't forget the man who died

who gave that right to me And I gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land God bless the USA Happy birthday, America Pull that mic in. Let's get started. Come on. You can still play guitar. Hello, hello.

Hey. Are we recording? Yeah. Have we started? Have we started? I'm going to switch it up. I'm going to be the host that asks if we've started. Have we started? Have we started? Did I hit the button yeah somebody pointed out to me the other day that they're annoyed by nerdist because chris harbeck laughs through the middle of every sentence he says oh yeah i might have even said that to you

did it was actually it was a very funny comedian that worked with ben moore again you might be confusing me with you know very funny comedian huh? I'm just having fun. That's what you just did, the thing. Oh, my gosh. I like what we got going. Are we recording? Are we recording? Wow, you just tricked me.

Has this been going on since I walked in the door? Is this the podcast? It just feels like an organic conversation. Oh, my gosh. Squarespace, you guys, seriously. The number one leading provider of anal beats. You know what's crazy? When I make my website on Squarespace, the first thing I want to do right after is mail something using stamps.com.

Backslash norm. Wtfpod.com slash norm. Hey, pull the microphone up. Did you hear me? Yeah, do you want to put headphones on? I'm good. I can hear you. All right, fine.

You don't want the full oral experience? Yeah. Oral? Because you're not wearing headphones. You can't tell you're in someone's spare bedroom. Spare? This is an office. I mean, that's one way to put it, I guess.

I thought this was my guest room. Well, maybe. You and your wife keep getting along. You're kind of screwing yourself here, aren't you? Ugh. Ugh. No, Chris Hardwick, he does do that a lot. He cracks himself up.

And I just, I'm eating Cheetos. It's not even like over something funny sometimes. Yeah. And, of course, Jonah, he wears glasses. And Matt, he's just losing so much weight. They're boaters, right, guys? Thank you guys so much for listening. Doctor Who.

Goo-goo-gao. Goo-goo-gao. I did like the first episode of Maren where they're doing Talking Dead and Marin says he's not a real nerd. He's like, I have a bug collection. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he is. He's a very he's a handsome, good looking, very rich nerd. Well, the rumor it's rumored he sold Nerdist Industries for 15 million.

I heard 17 million. Whoa. I heard $17 million. Whoa. I heard $49 billion. I heard that he owns Steve Jobs' soul now. There you go. I heard. That was some good old-fashioned improv right there. Riffin.

Bits. Huh? Yes. And? Yes. There it is. He just graduated 401. Yes.

You're a UC beer. Yeah, you are. My good friend joining me solo. No Mike Moran, but we still got another Mike. We got another Mike. Anyway, guys, Squarespace. Mike Fonazo, how the hell are you? I'm good, Joshua.

How are you? I'm good, Joshua. How are you? I'm good, man. It's the end of the work week. Only four days this week. What with the holiday and all. But I tell you what, weekends, they're just not long enough. What's the deal with that? Fucking Obama?

Yeah. I mean, it's Friday, get away, Sunday, fun day. But what about the rest? Okay, let's take a break. Okay. We'll be right back. I'm good, man. We're hanging out because we're going to drive to a show together.

Right? And then we're going to perform at that show. We are. We're doing a show. Main Street. It's going to be a lot of fun. And then tomorrow, I'm going to OBX, bro. Taking my lady and the dog. Nice. Like you didn't know that already. But I'm letting the listeners know.

Exposition style. What's happening with the K-Man? I like it. Yeah. So, going to the beach. If you're hearing this, there'll be two episodes before this that I have not posted. Might post two in one week. So the beach was great. Beach was good, man. K killed it at the beach

killed man played some ultimate frizz ultimate frizz through the ball with the dog ran on the beach nice let my muscles glisten in the sun nice and uh he found a random black guy and recreated the training scene in rocky three he just ran down the beach i thought you were gonna say recreated training day that's pretty hard to get an unwilling participant to be the antagonist i don't remember the beach scenes in training day well you said the training i was just thinking training day no i like that i like just like the idea of a training day there's like 20 minutes of cut sequences where they just go to like a shitty beach what you never run on a beach before they were uh we're tenzo washington and ethan hawk like they do the uh the photo booth where it's like three pictures yeah yeah hang out on the boardwalk silly pictures saltwater taffy

while they're high on pcp well you never get wet um yeah so going to the beach looking forward to that the show tonight will be a lot of fun. I had this at work today. I was telling somebody, I was like, yeah, I'm going to the beach tomorrow. Because, you know, there's a lot of weekend talk always, you know. Right. Especially on Fridays. What are your plans for the weekend?

I was like, ah, I'm actually going to the beach for a week. And a big smile on my face. I'm excited. This co-worker, an older gentleman, he goes, well, a lot of mosquitoes at the beach. I'm like, what the fuck's your problem? Like, hey, go to the beach, but sun gives you cancer. Anyway. Like, why are you cutting me out at the knees?

I don't know if that's just his jealousy or what. But either way, trip's canceled. It's over. Not going to go. Apparently there's mosquitoes at the beach. Mosquitoes and skin cancer. Mosquitoes and skin cancer. Mosquitoes and skin cancer. Anyway, I got the whole week free.

Canceled the trip. Fuck it. Unload the car. Wait a minute. What's going on with you? I got an Orioles ticket in front of me. Mike Fonazzo, you're a big fan of the Orioles. Yeah, big Orioles fan.

Sorry you went last week. I went to this game. They played the Cleveland Indians. They beat them, what, like 10-0? Or was it 8-0? 9-0? It was a shutout. I mean, I didn't go to the game, so I turned it off when it was obviously out of reach.

Yep, yep. I'm not a big baseball fan myself. It was fun hanging out with friends, but then, yeah, it was like the top of the eighth, it was nine to nothing i was like you might have we get out of here right like nah i was like okay good yeah but um i i tell you it's some somebody um somebody on the orioles they they uh a friend told me he he was kicked out of the league for a little bit now he's back because he threw a bat at an umpire or Or maybe it was in his AAA days. He showed me the video. I've never heard that story. It sounds amazing.

Who's the designated hitter? Is it Delman Young? I think so. I know he had some attitude problems. So that would make sense. If there was one guy on the Orioles, it would be him. He showed me the video. It's just a static shot of uh home

plate right and uh i guess he has a disagreement with the umpire um the umpire called a strike they're arguing about it uh what's his name delman young yeah yeah he walks out of frame and then the next thing you see is just a spinning bat come into frame and then just hit the umpire holy shit i like how like you i said Delman Young and then you went with it. What if we just soiled his name for no reason and it was really like Cal Ripken? Yeah, him. Him.

The guy that sells hot dogs now. That guy. No, I'm pretty sure he's a designated hitter, and that makes sense. But what if it is him and he is brokenhearted? He's like, oh, I was a big dickhead. Now these guys are besmirching my good name. Sure, I had some attitude problems, but I didn't throw no bat.

I feel like he said he hated Jews at one point. Yep. He also told me that story. He was outside of a hotel and got in a disagreement with a taxi driver over the bill. And then he got on top of the car and was screaming stuff about Jews and how they run the world. I like the idea that if you're in Hollywood and you make movies, that ruins your career. But if you could still hit a baseball. You can still hit dingers.

You're in. Also, too, I like how it started with, he had attitude problems. Right, right. Remember when he said racist things against the Jews? Right, right. It's now attitude problems. That's funny. It is weird how if you have a TV show or something and you're an asshole, it's like it's going

to catch. It's like Katherine Heigl's career is shot because she's an idiot and an asshole. But it's just like if you're a football player and you murder people, you could still make it back. If you rape somebody, you could still make it back. Murder dogs. Yeah. It's weird how that works. Sports, as long as you

can put up the stats. That's true, man. And they'll like you, too. Well, you know, he's still pretty good. It's like Jay Oakerson has that bit about he's an Eagles fan. He's like, Michael Vick, he killed some I mean, he's still pretty good. I was like Jay Oakerson has that bit about he's an Eagles fan. He's like, Michael, yeah, Michael Vick, he killed some dogs, but he's my guy now. Yeah, pretty. Hey, if he went to be a Super Bowl and throws it to that other racist guy and they score touchdowns, hey, I'll buy Michael Vick a box of puppies if he went to Super Bowl.

A box of puppies. Yeah, that is what it's like. Yeah, that one guy yeah riley cooper the receiver for the eagles yeah yeah he was at like he was at some country concert for like trace atkins or something yeah he was like i'll fight every n-word here like all two right that was like lascuro actually had a joke about that that was really funny like shouldn't it be news if somebody's not racist at a trace atkins concert i'll give every n-word here right you shouldn't say n-word but he's working on it yeah he's working on it

60 come on it's better than 50 better than zero ah come on all right mike finazzo who has multiple albums out two you produce two uh-. Two out of two of them. Stupid Genii. Yep. Genius. iTunes. There it is. Spotify.

Amazon. Google Play. Zoom. We were going to... I think it could be available on the Zoom. I think it is. We were going to take Stupid Genius out of rotation, and then I forgot to end the subscription, so it's still out there.

That's how Dark Side of the Mood stayed on the charts so long. They were going to pull it, then they forgot to. What do you mean? No, I'm making this up. I like just the idea of the record label goes to Pink Floyd. They're like, you still want to sell this album?

They're like, no, we think it's not good. And then he forgets to pay. It's still out there. Bad news. I accidentally paid $90 to keep your album out. It's so funny, too, because your second album, Cheery Sight of Denial, is not on iTunes or Spotify. So if somebody wants to find you, they're getting a really early snapshot. I mean, it's not a bad album, but you definitely progressed.

So it is kind of funny, though. Keep my earliest, rawest work in rotation. So the bottom line is, and by the way, I'm into Spotify now, so I'm just playing my own album on a loop, so we're going to get like 17 cents by next week.

We should do that. Just load up laptops. Laura showed me, and my wife, for the listeners, showed me an article about this independent band. Yeah. Did you see that? I didn't read it, but I heard they, like, scammed them out of, like... It's, like, $10,000. That's great.

They, like, paid for their tour. Good. And... Because Spotify pays shit. Yeah, yeah. Like, you hear about bands like Radiohead, and I think Foo Fighters don't like Spotify. And it's not for them. It's for these smaller bands.

Independent artists. Yeah. don't like spotify and it's not for them it's for these smaller bands artists yeah like even if they're on a label you know if it's their first release they're not really getting anything right like i can see the numbers from we what we get for for your album we could have hundreds of downloads or hundreds of streams and it's like fractions of pennies i remember like when you had told like broken it down for me at what point, you're like, wow, okay, so 200 people bought it off iTunes and 10 people bought it on Amazon and 1,000 people listened to it on Spotify. And I'm waiting for that check to come in. I was like, 1,000 people, that's so much money.

And it was like 13 cents on Spotify. Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much. But that's why I like why we did the second one the way we did. We just put it up on a website. You download it, pay what you want, and just listen to it. We've had, I think, like 1,000 people listen to the second album, which to me is just like the whole point of the thing.

Yeah, you just want to get it out there. We recouped our costs. Yeah, made a profit on it. Made some profit. I'm not drinking this Starbucks because I'm poor. Because I stole it from a rich guy. You're not paying for that skin cancer you're getting next week with stupid

genius money. I might be. Cheery side of denial money. I might be wrapping myself in the booklet, you know, just to stay warm like a homeless person. So that's what CD booklets are used for now. Yep. Yep. That's what I mean, gotta use them for something You know, recycle, bro

Recycle Do you remember This is gonna sound random Do you remember the TV show The Practice? Yes That was the precursor to Boston Legal Exactly The first season of The Practice

Do you know John Larroquette? Yeah, he was on Night Court Night Court So he was like a comedy guy. And he guest starred as a serial killer on The Practice. And the ratings went through the roof. So they ended up bringing him back every season.

And it was just like, oh, who did he kill this year? And the first three seasons, it was a stunt casting that worked. Everybody watched it. But season four, that's when the audience is like, alright, we get it. A little everybody watched it but season four that's when like the audience is like all right we we get it a little formulaic i feel like that's my relationship with this show really i feel like bro down throw down it's just like oh we'll get the finazzo bump yep you know get the european listeners get the naz man yeah it's just like hey

this is a weird you know bro down throw down event. And now I feel like we're on season four. Yeah. Laura Flynn Boyle's got weird plastic surgery going now. Yeah. A little too skinny. Yeah. So I think that you're going to look at the stats next week and our Spotify numbers for the album are getting better. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, you know, you try. Yeah. People can't say John Larroquette didn't try. Oh, he went for it. Went for it. Exactly. Went for it.

Anyway, let's wrap this up. I think we got as much as we're going to get off this bone. But seriously, stamps.com. Yeah, if we could. Adam and Eve, something so sensual. We'll send you. That always drove me nuts, too. The Adam and Eve ads on podcasts.

And if you order right now, we'll send you something so sensual we can't even say what it is. It's like, yeah, you can. It's a podcast. You can say whatever the fuck you want. Two things. Podcast. And it's America. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. What's the problem? Our founding fathers built this, Kadri, so you could talk about a dildo on a podcast. I have not read the Constitution word for word, but I'm positive that's what it says. That's the third verse of the Constitution. Uh-huh. It was like ye dildies.

They called them dildies back then. Dildies. That was multiple dildi. Dildies. Hey! Munza, don't you disagree with me? Oh, get it. She's angry. She just said the terrorist one. She is? Oh, get it. She's angry. She just said the terrorist one. She is. She's pissed off.

She is angry. There's a nine-pound dog outside. She's like, what the fuck? Get off my lawn. So last time you were on the show, you had just opened for Dennis Miller. Oh, yeah. It was like the day after, right? It was.

It was. It was. So what are some other big milestones that have happened since? What other right-wing comedians have you opened for since? Have you heard of Glenn Beck? Yep. I don't think he's a comedian. I don't think so either. Some would say he is.

I should have laughed through that like Chris Hardwick. Everybody would have been like, oh, I'm going to download this a million times. Real quick sidebar. I went and saw Mike and I actually, Mike Moran and I went and saw the Nerdist tour when they came through. 930 Club, right? Yeah, a couple years ago. And I was at the bar grabbing a drink and the bartender was asking this girl what the show was. It's always funny when bartenders, like, they don't know.

You know, like, so what is the show? Like, you know, just trying to, like, talk to the girl. She's like, oh, it's a podcast. And it's like, well, like, a podcast, it's like a radio show, but for, like, the internet and, like, explaining it. And these guys are so funny. Like, they always say they're going to edit something out, and then they never do.

Oh, my God. We're going to have to edit something out, and then they never do. Oh, my God. We're going to have to edit that out and then leave it in. The good one. We plan that. Yeah. So where did that? What were we talking about? Nerdist?

Yeah. Actually, we were talking about stupid people. Bar explaining a podcast. Get closer to that mic. Closer to the mic. There it is. Yeah, that is weird. I think podcasts are weird.

I still think people don't know what a podcast is, and I explain to them what it is. Yeah. I mean, even Adam Carolla I don't even think really understands that much. He's the only kid in the podcast. Yeah, I'll hear him. I don't listen that often because he gets on my nerves now, but he'll explain it to some people. Be like, yeah, and I think, you know, podcasts are going to break big when they're in people's cars. I'm like, that's where most people already listen.

It doesn't have to be on their dial. Like everybody has Bluetooth technology. If not, they're streaming it on their phone already. Like, yeah, I think that's when people are really going to get it when they're streaming it on their phone already like yeah i think that's when people are really going to get it when they're in cars you're like okay you have the guinness record for most downloaded podcasts that you still don't know i like to think that adam carolla thinks that all those listeners were like in a bunk yeah pretty much yeah yeah like the nazis are yeah stairs and they're in the attic oh i, I can't let them know. Fiddling with knobs. Yeah.

I can't let them know I'm listening to a podcast. It's like a shop. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, a lot of people don't know. I just say it's internet radio. No. You know, when my dad asks what I'm wasting my money on.

Your dad. My dad. Who? We did a show in Easton. That was a fun show. That was a fun show. Easton, not too far from where i grew up in kent island maryland yeah homecoming yeah kinda um and uh my dad really he loved your set really he likes to laugh that's sweet your dad's a very good man my dad he's a sweetheart he's a sweetheart it was funny that uh my wife sat next to your dad during the show

and afterwards she was like josh was josh's dad was like the proud Little League dad. Yeah. He was just like so happy for everybody. He really was, yeah. Like, that's the thing. Like, he can be a pretty pessimistic guy, but he's come to, I think, like two stand-up shows so far. I think you've been at both of them. Oh, yeah.

And just eerie. One of them we won't brag about. But he's still had a blast. He was ear to ear the whole time, like smiling ear to ear the whole time. And yeah, it was cool. Some friends came out. And Jess Brodkin, who's really funny, was featuring. And she asked, she's married to an African-American fella, which we're not going to say how we

feel about it. I mean, that's her prerogative to throw her life away. Whew! Yeah, good luck. And she has a bit about how she's really looking forward to having an interracial baby because they're so beautiful. And then she goes, is anybody in an interracial relationship? And my

friend Erica, who came to the show, who's all the way Jewish, raises her hand. She goes, woo. And Jess is like, wait, I can't really tell, but are you mixed? And she's like, no, no, I'm not. And then I was just watching the whole thing unfold. And Erica's so sweet.

I think she was just excited for everybody, kind of like my dad was. And Jess is like, oh, okay. Is your boyfriend black? She goes, yeah. I was like, Brendan, no. He's whiter than the pure driven snow. Not even close. That's so funny.

So, yeah. It was nice. It was very nice. Good times. That was a good show. You did great, man. Oh, thank you. You headlined, crushed it.

They want you back in six months. Yeah, let's plug that one. December 5th. Here now. Easton. You got Headline, crushed it. They want you back in six months. Yeah, let's plug that one. December 5th. Here now. Easton. You got to get ahead of it. These people. Order your tickets now.

Go for it. Yeah, this stuff sells out six months in advance. There were a lot of regulars there. I looked out in the crowd as I was hosting, and I saw a couple that were wearing matching T-shirts, and they had the bumper sticker stick family. Have you seen those? Yeah, yeah. And they were wearing matching shirts of those, and I was like, okay, you guys don't know why you're here.

It was interesting. Interesting crowd, but fun. Fun show. They were good people. Thank you for having me host. Oh, thanks for doing it. Absolutely. You're blowing up.

I'm doing things, man. I'm getting in on the ground floor yes buying stock in kaderna you should kaderna stock good thing strong stock hosting clubs uh-huh a club oh it's gonna be too soon it might it might bumped up it might uh yeah you're doing great man thank you man yeah i've had some i've had some good breaks. Andrew's been really cool to me on our Magoobies. Good guy. Saw him last night. Nice.

What did he say about me? Good things? Nothing about you. Okay, nothing? Actually, I did say something. He was really stressed out. I texted you about the sound problems. Oh, yeah.

And I said, you know, well, the words of Josh Kaderna, you're too blessed to be stressed. And he goes, what the fuck does that even mean? So I don't know if he'll attribute that to you. So now he's going to connect my name to when he's really pissed off and stressed out. Yeah. Okay, perfect. Hey, you're in. Likes your pants.

Oh, God bless him. No, it was cool. After the shows, he was like, yeah, you kind of remind me of Joe Mattarese. I was like, I haven't really listened to him. Yeah, that's what he said. I was like, I'll check him out. I don't know. He's funny, but, you know.

Yeah, and he was like, yeah, when you headline. I was like, yeah, look at you. All right. Way to say that. So that felt good. He's like, I don't want to, I'm not going to let you get a big head. Because Andrew's a ball buster. But like a good-natured one.

He's like, I can see you, look, it's not going to happen soon, but I can see you featuring quickly or something like that. And I was like, nice. Or he said quicker than most. And he's like, he was basically, but not like, you're not like, great. He's just like, it could happen. Yeah, you know what but not like, you're not like great. Like, he was just like, you know, it could happen.

Yeah. You know, it was really funny. As Andrew told me that, you know, three years before I featured. So. Yes. I'm in the three-year fast track. 2017. The year of Kudurna.

Woo, baby. Yeah. Actually, no, it wasn't three. I started stand up like nine months before I hosted at McGoobies, and two years later I featured. So it wasn't too bad. That's pretty good, man. Get closer to that mic.

Oh, gosh. Because, yeah, you are working all the time, man. Trying to. You are. I'd say behind Jason Weems. Do you have to rank people on your podcast? I have to rank them. Okay.

Well, I was going to put him at the bottom because he's shit. I feel bad for recommending him to bookers now. Who, Jason? Yeah. Why? Oh, because you're like, oh, so that person ahead of you that we have to put in competition for no reason. Okay. Because stand-up's not a contest.

People grow at their own pace. Fuck you, Dad. Whoa. Sorry. Whoa. Wrong meeting. God cathartic. No no i think i just have such a crush on jason and i know we all do and that he works tremendously he's the best he's the goddamn

best uh he is uh i actually the avalon show that we did they asked me for comedians and i was like you have to have him back he's the best comic in the area he is he's he's he's great man but yeah i um no as far as like working you you're working at all the local clubs and beyond you're doing feature sets on the road trying to this is where we blow each other fabulous places fabulous beaches uh-huh beaches beaches beaches on beaches what is a beach uh the bj bj bjs bj okay whenever i'm getting a blow job i call it a Beej? The Beej? Beejays. Beejay. Okay. Whenever I'm getting a blowjob, I call it a Beejay Novak. Uh-huh. And your wife loves that, huh?

Yeah. And then she goes, who's that? And then you look in the barrel of the camera and you go, uh-uh. Like The Office? Yeah, exactly. Got it. That's my life. Got it.

Got it. No, but you're doing a great job. You're a very funny comedian. MikeFanazzo.net, everybody. Okay. Isn't it? I think it is. Yeah.

You don't know your own website? Well, I had two of them for a while, and I was trying to phase one out, and I don't remember which one I'm phasing out. I think it's ThatMikeFanazzo.com. That Mike Fanazzo. Yeah. Because there's another Mike Fanazzo who contributes to SNL, to Weekend Update. So he says. Anybody can do that.

They fax in. I could fax jokes into Weekend Update. So I should put that on my website, too. Has fax machine. Yeah. That'd be pretty cool. No, that guy. I feel.

Actually, did you see what I posted at the Avalon show? There would be like three people that tweeted at Mike Fonazazzo, the other one, about how good the show was. Right, right. And I was like, oh, he's getting my fan mail now. He is, man. You got to get back on Twitter. Why aren't you on Twitter? I'm just not a fan.

Why not? It's a few things. One, I don't think I'm good at it. I don't think anybody has to be good at it. Well, not everybody should be on Twitter. Not everybody, but comedians. There are already too many people on Twitter. There's too many people that have podcasts.

But yet, here we are, Mike. Oh, you know, I mean, I'm doing a favor for my friend. Oh, you're doing me a favor. How dare you? How dare you? I mean, I'm not doing this to get Facebook likes. You might be. I am. You want. I need likes. You might be. I am.

You want. I need attention. You got to work on your clout score, man. I'm doing this so Robert Andrews shares it. That's the only reason I'm doing it. God bless that guy. Good man. Him and my dad are the only listeners to this show.

Three people in England. And I hope they all get married someday. I can't wait until Digressicon. It's Robert Andrew, your dad, and just three people like, oh, I thought this was a bigger deal. Yeah, right. DigCon. Liverpool, England.

2019. And people dress up. What's all this then? Hello! People have fake months that are walking around. Yeah, monkey suits I think we're going to try to get a new logo actually

I like it I like it too but I had Valance Michael very funny comedian and Ronald James Doing a show with one of them tonight Ronald James very funny And when they were on the show For those listening I have a Digression Sessions banner with the logo

And they're like, man, if we hosted a show and that was our logo, that'd be pretty racist. I was like, maybe. But they aren't hosting the show. But, you know. I don't like the implication that they have a hypothetical podcast and you hypothetically

made that drawing for them. They hypothetically have a shit ton of downloads, okay? Well, they hypothetically... Come on. We're not having a good mic day. We're okay. We're having a good mic fanazo day. Right?

I was going to... Oh, yeah! Oh, it's a blast from my childhood. There it is. When I say childhood, I mean six months ago when I was on the podcast. I feel like the show's become less sound effect heavy. You know, I like to be surgical with it. You know, you use the scalpel, not the machete.

Oh, yeah. Right. You don't have to rely on cheap gags to get jokes. It's just, you know, some people do. Yeah. And I just really think that it's, I don't know, man. How's your family? They good?

How's your health? Good. Oh, yeah. Good for you, man. Good for you. I don't know why that's funny to me. I love you. It's all good.

It's all good. I take it back. That's the John Larroquette of the show now. It's all good. See, it sounds like him. Do you know his son is one of the biggest podcasters out there? I did know that. Of course you did, because you're a fucking nerd.

Somebody referenced him on a pod. Was it Marin? Yeah. Yeah, his ex. Big into his podcast, which we won't name, because we don't need any competition. Okay. Circling back to Magoobies real quick. You helped me get in there, and I appreciate that.

I want to thank you publicly. You deserve it. Thank you. I don't like this. This past weekend working with Mike Stork and Randolph Terrence was a lot of fun. Yep. So shout out to those fellas. Yep.

Good people. Good dudes. Love that Randolph Terrence. Good times hanging. Me too. He's a sweetheart. He's a good man. Very funny dude.

Does hurt your hand when he shakes it. Does he? Yeah. He cuts you? Yeah. Cuts you deep? A little blood action. Very funny dude. Does hurt your hand when he shakes it. Does he? Yeah. He cuts you? Yeah. Cuts you deep? A little blood action. A little bloody.

A little bloody. He lets it be known. No, he's one of those dudes that's just like, first of all, he's really funny. Get on the mic. Oh, my gosh. I want people to hear your golden nasally tones. Okay. Now, Randolph Terrence is one of those guys that

he's so funny and stuff, and he's gruff and can be a hard ass, but when he busts your balls, it's like Rick Hall's busting your balls or something. He's made fun of my clothes and whatever, and I've laughed so hard. Yeah, he

likes me. I'm just like, he's paying attention to me. He's filling the hole. I was like, he's paying attention to me. He's filling the hole. Please, please. The hole always needs to be filled. Yeah, super funny guy, man. So yeah, thank you. That was a fun weekend.

I appreciate it. You're recommending me. You deserve it. Thanks for mentioning it. So like mike cookson's gonna be could you get me into bagoos well i had to like perform that's the thing too it's not like they'd be like okay go ahead yeah my word doesn't mean that much right well i mean i don't think anybody's does really yeah so um it was funny though uh mike st Stork He had a guy Come through and do a guest spot

On one of the shows Who was it? Mike Lover Bob Lover He runs a comedy club In Florida I think Oh I've met that guy

He has family in like Frederick Pennsylvania Because it was Memorial Day weekend He was in Pennsylvania Florida, I think, or something. Oh, I've met that guy. He has family in, like, Frederick, I think. Or Pennsylvania. Okay. Because it was Memorial Day weekend. He was in Pennsylvania and came through and did a guest set, and it was all about pussy. And it turns out he also owned a strip club or something like that. Yeah, yeah.

Mike Stork was telling me, he's like, yeah, I got a great picture with one of his security. It was, like, 4 in the morning, and we just left a strip club, and he had, like, a giant gun or something like that. And It was like four in the morning and we just left a strip club and he had like a giant gun or something like that. And I was like, oh, cool. And I'm like, hey, nice to meet you, Bob. But he was a sweetheart for a guy that

runs a strip club. He is a nice guy. Nice man. Good man. Love it. Didn't remember my name when he went to the mic. He said, give it up for your host. And I was like, that's not my name. At least he didn't say the wrong name. Yeah. No.

He's like, Jake, doing good. Good for you. All right. Pussy. So what else is, what's happening with you that I don't already know? Can we talk about your strategy for tonight of submitting to Gotham? Well, I don't know if I'm going to do that. I have a camera with me.

That's one of those ideas that sounds really funny when you're texting your friend. And when your friend comes up with it, you're like, oh, OMG, I'm going to do that. It could work. But it could. So I need to submit a 10-minute tape to Live at Gotham. Yep. Yeah, I've talked to them. talked just a club in new york yeah gotham comedy club it's a prestigious comedy club they have a tv show live at gotham what is it on access tv it's a cable channel but i think most people watch it

online gotcha they get like a big name comedian to host it it's like the old rodney dangerfield right i've seen uh bill Burr host that before. Yeah, Burr's hosted it. Drew Carey's hosted it. Like, Louis Anderson, Jay Moore all hosted it. Like, Bonnie McFarlane did an episode. Right. And then yesterday, I had, like, a bunch of comedians do 10 minutes.

Yeah. And I talked to the producer. Uh-huh. And sent in a tape. It was just like my regular tape. And they were like, oh, it's funny, but send us like 10 minutes you would do on the show. Because I guess what I did wasn't quite like TV friendly or whatever. Which I actually think you can use cursing on the show.

But just for the format of the show, the tape I submitted wasn't right. Gotcha. And so, yeah, I got to submit a 10-minute tape of stuff I would do on the show. Okay. So the idea we had, because I don't get. We or me? All right. Well, you thought of the idea, and then I reworded it to make it my idea.

Did you? Oh, okay. It's your idea. Yeah. Better robot lives. R.I.P. Now, hey, nobody heard of it anyway. Hey, it's the house you built.

That's sad. It's the cardboard house I built. It's like that house of sticks that Pig lived in. That wolf blew it down. That Dave Chauff wolf blew it down. Dave Schofer blew it down. Don't nod at what I'm saying. It's correct. React. I don't get a chance to do a lot of

10-minute sets. Oh, boy. Big dog. Can't do any 10-minute sets. Middle-class problems. I can never get a 10-minute set in. Most of the time when I'm doing good shows, it's like I'm featuring or headlining or whatever. So it's like I never have a chance to do a showcase 10.

So your idea was to... Whose idea? Your idea... Fuckface. I'm going to call up Andrew and... I'm going to tell everybody that you've been doing Chris Hudson's bits for the last five years.

Go ahead. Go ahead. The gift that keeps on giving. I don't even remember what we were talking about. Ten minutes. Orioles? Del Mignon? Yep.

Jews? Yeah, so I was going to open up with the ten minutes and then say goodnight and leave and then come back and do my other 35 minutes. Yeah, and you want to tell the crowd beforehand. That was where I perfected it, was making a bit out of telling the crowd right right so what the idea is you'd be headlining tonight but you're going to tell the crowd you're just going to do 10 minutes up top yeah let them know what it's for yeah yeah and then i'll be holding a big cardboard science has applause yep right yeah and i'll do that thing i think producers do just because I saw it in the Larry Sanders show. I'll just have documents rolled up, you know, kind of like that.

In like a cylinder. And I'll smack the palm of my other hand with that to get them to applaud. I like that. That's my plan. I like it. Do you think you're going to do that tonight, though? Maybe. We'll see how good the show is.

A little trickery? Yeah. I think it'll be a good show tonight. So, yeah, if it seems like they're all bored or whatever. I'm going to do it before you. I'm going to do that. Yeah? Yeah.

I'm going to. It raises the question, how much time are you doing tonight? I don't know, man. I'm just going to do what feels right. Are you going to do a 10-minute set and then come back for three more minutes? That would be weird. I'm going to come back for six.

I'm submitting for different things. Six minutes of power. You heard of that show? I've heard of it. It's pretty good. Produced by Mark Cuban. It's live at Metropolis. It's a different club.

Still in the DC universe. Hosted by Dustin Diamond. The Dust. Trust him. You've worked with that luminary. Good man. He told you how to get fruit. Pears.

You were like, hey bro, I can afford pears. My pets are so much better when we have a conversation and you repeat the punchlines. Is that your punchline? It's like, I've never been on TV and I can afford pears? Something like that. It was like, Dustin, I can afford. Why am I doing this here?

Because I'm setting you up, bro. There's 10,000 people. I was pulling a Jay Moore. I was going to say, I'm a Jota Rosa. I'm teeing it up for you, you fucking prick. Be funny. Got three comedians here in the the sound guy's the funny. I sound like Colin right now.

I just slipped into Colin. Hey, Norm here. That was like a Canadian Norm. I actually think that sounded like Josh. Yeah, that's me. Yeah, Norm here. Entourage sucks. It's all good. Josh. Yeah. That's me. Yeah. Norm here. Entourage sucks.

It's awkward. You need to edit out the slight pause between the effect and the podcast. Tell me how to run my podcast. I mean, you told me how to hold a mic. I hold a mic every day of my fucking life. I told you to get closer to it. We don't have the best mics. You can't be back here. You got to be here. Okay. Well, now that you did it, I understand it it. We don't have the best mics. You can't be back here. You've got to be here.

Okay. Well, now that you did it, I understand it now. Well, you have fucking... That's why I wanted you to wear headphones. Maybe instead of just getting over and saying, Oh, we're having a conversation as we walk into the room. We've been recording the whole time. Maybe you should do a sound check.

Hey, look, I know it sounds good if you get close to it. That's why I told you to get close to it. It does sound... Have we started? Is this what the podcast is? I thought we'd talk for an hour and then the real podcast happens. In the car. Mm-hmm.

We talk trash about each other. Yeah. Singers. Flingers. Wait, what were we talking about here? Oh, the Dustin Diamond thing. Yeah. For those that don't know, you worked with Dustin Diamond.

Screech. A.K.A. Screech. Saved by the bell. The college years. And the new class. And the show before that. What was his role? Okay, when he went to college, he was a student.

Yes. What happened with the new class? Was he just like the creepy janitor? No, he was like the assistant principal. Really? Yeah. He was like Mr. Belding's assistant. Weird.

Yeah. So weird. Was he the only cast member, him and Belding, that hung back? Yep. Jesus. Him and Dennis Hastings. That's his name? Yeah.

Wow. He has a podcast now. It's the only reason I know that. What? I think it's the Nerdist Network. What's it about? I don't know. I've never listened to it.

I saw a picture of him, a recent picture. He looks rough. Yeah, he was on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, too, where he played a pedophile. So things are going good. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I was talking to somebody about this.

It might have been on the podcast, and I apologize if it was, but how creepy Mr. Feeny is in the Boy Meets World. I used to have that bit, too. Oh, did you really? Yeah. Okay. But, yeah, he just shows up everywhere. Yeah. Like, nobody's like, you're a pedophile?

My joke, and this is before they announced that Boy Meets World is coming back or they're spinning it off. Right. Boy Meets World. Yeah. I was like, wouldn't that be funny if it's like they get to the point where there's like a movie and Corey and Topanga are having a baby and they're at the hospital. At least we're not going to run into Feeney here. And then he delivers the baby. And steals it.

He's like, Corey, I love you. Raises it on its own. It's like, I'll never leave this child. And then it just becomes like the tone of Hannibal. Dark and crazy. Yeah. He goes I'm the principal now

Yeah Alright so Dustin Diamond Worked with him God I was going to bring something up But now I'm totally fucking drawing a blank This is a good pod I'm drawing a blank here.

I'm not going to. What do you want to talk about? Because we've got to get going soon, actually. What time is it? It's 9 until 8. 9 until 8. We should probably leave around 8. Yeah.

Sounds good. All right. We've got nine minutes to think of something. All right. I'm going to name. We're each going to name three people we hate. Okay. We'll go one at a time.

And how you'd kill them. It doesn't have to be somebody we know. Am I killing people you hate? That's what we'll do. We'll each name somebody we hate, but we have to kill. If you name my mom mom I have to kill her Be careful Is Muncie throwing up at your feet?

No, not to my knowledge Muncie, come here, babe She's like coughing If she throws up on my feet I know who's on my list now Your mom Muncie, you okay? You alright, girl?

She threw up twice today. I pulled a tick off of her. It's a rough day. I'm sorry. She's going to love the beach, though. Muncie, you want to go to the beach? They got mosquitoes there. Yeah, trip's canceled.

Trip's canceled. Anyway, go ahead. Three people we hate. Yeah, three people we hate. Could be anywhere. Could be local. Could be local. Could be global. Could be glocal Could be local. Could be global.

Could be glocal. Come on. Glocal's not a word. Hey, it is if you ask Anna Kendrick in Up in the Air. If I ask the actress playing a fictional character in a film. This is real to her. That's it. Well, I'll write this down.

I will. That was me pretending to write. That was me pretending to pay attention. It's all good. Go ahead. I don't like this game. We should just cut that chunk out. Because I just realized, I was like, that's going to be a fun game.

But then neither one of us would actually name people. I'm not naming no names, man. Snitches get stitches. We could name them and then bleep them out. Well, let's have another conversation here. Okay. Can we just cut out that whole out. Well, let's have another conversation here. Okay. Can we just cut out that whole chunk?

No, it's going to stay. I'm actually going to put that chunk in the spot where your mic fucked up. And it's going to go really well. I like it. They're supposed to cut stuff out, but they just don't. It's so funny. It's a great bit. Yeah, it really is.

Great skit. They do get away with that, too. They're like, oh, this is all coming out Oh boy, we are something I'm going to be at Zadie's November 3rd pit Isn't that funny? That's so funny That is just so funny I like when he repeats his joke about

Oh, the Talking Dead got renewed Yeah I was like, oh, we heard that on five different podcasts. Also, that show's stupid. It is. I don't know why the fuck anybody watches a show about a show you just watched. I'd rather tweet my friends about it or not text my friends about it. That'd be fine.

I like a Patton Oswalt. I like Simon Birch. I couldn't come up with that. I watched that show. Simon Birch on Talking Dead. His little goofy kid with problems. And he's just like, zombies.

My real monster is my muscular dystrophy. That would be great If like Talking Dead Got like 3 million viewers a week But Talking Dead featuring Simon Birch Like 15 million viewers a week Yeah and then there's

Talking Simon Birch on Talking Dead Still hosted by Hardwick He just runs 50 feet to the next set So I watched I watched tonight's Talking Dead backstage. AMC lets me have it right before the show. Right before. And I got a good look at it.

What were we talking about? All right. Wait. Let's get to this. You, can we talk about your age? Oh, yeah. You just had a birthday. Yep, 30.

How are you feeling? I feel okay. If I had any Photoshop skills, I was going to Photoshop your face onto my dick. That's a weird segue. No, I was going to Photoshop your face onto Paul Rudd's face. Okay. This is 40. Okay. And then, you know, it would be this is 30.

But I was at my desk, and I don't have Photoshop. And even if I did, I don't know how to use it. You couldn't use paint? Maybe. I don't know if I have paint at my office desk. I think I do, actually. But, yeah. Anyway, I had to settle for, I posted a picture of...

Tim Riggins. Taylor Kitsch. Yeah. And Tim Riggins of Friday Night Lights fame. Well. It's him in a pool, shirtless, with a fedora on. I think pointing at the camera. Yep.

Partying. He's kind of glistening. There's some lights. And it says, happy 30th. Is that what it said? Yeah, it did. 30th birthday. I just like the idea of most of the people that like that.

And it got a lot of positive response. Got some good like most of the people had no idea about the friday night lights there's like shirtless guy yeah happy 30th that's funny because schlegel did that to me last year he posted a picture of like a naked dude on my facebook it's a happy birthday nice and but yeah there was no context of right oh he loves this TV show and it's nothing him and, you know, you and I talk about Friday Night Lights a lot. Yeah, I don't know if I brought that up on the show, but Friday Night Lights, pretty goddamn great. It's wonderful, yeah. Yeah, we're

big into that. So I thought that was a nice tie-in, you know, for our love. Made my wife a little jealous. Not because of the naked dude. Really? We share that thing. You asked her to watch it. She had a chance. Yeah. Not because of the naked dude. Really? We share that thing. You asked her to watch it. She had a chance. Yeah.

She did. Not a fan. Two episodes in. Not a fan, huh? Doesn't like the shaky camera work. It's documentary style. I know. That's one of the cool parts.

I'm like, what? You don't like real life? Right? I'm like, hey, what would this dramatic conversation look like with the camera behind a chair? And you're like, yeah, let's figure it out. Okay, sure. Like, you want to be a guidance counselor? And then guitars fade in.

Explosions in the sky. Did I tell you about when I saw, because the guy who directed Friday Nights directed Lone Survivor? What's his nuts? Peter Berg. There it is. Well, because that Explosions in the Sky is all over that soundtrack. Of Lone Survivor. What's his nuts? Peter Berg. There it is. Well, because that explosion in the sky is all over that soundtrack. Of Lone Survivor?

Mm-hmm. Really? And it's like most of it's documentary style. So, like, it is very moving. It does bring me back to Friday Night Lights. And then the fact that Riggins is in it. I don't care what his real name is. He's fucking Riggins.

He's Riggins forever. He's 33. Yeah. He's like, I wanted him to say to Marky Mark, come on, seven. You know? But. When we get out of this thing, we get back home. forever he's 33 yeah he's like i wanted to say to marky mark come on seven you know but um when we get out of this thing we get back home i'll fuck your girlfriend um so i uh and i was watching lone survivor yeah and i'm also a huge breaking bad fan and i guess i could just do it on my phone i have i'm not just like looking at my phone i wanted

them i'm not trying to do a bit either, but just to explain the story. This is what happens when I say, this is me and Siri. What's my name? This is a really bad time for the internet to be slow. Another swing and a miss for the bro-down throw-down. It would be great if your timing came in.

Fuck you, Siri. Stupid fucking whore. Yeah, I told you this, that they record everything you say to Siri. Yeah, I know the fucking cunt. Do you think that's the number one word in their depository? Probably. But no, so like whenever I say to Siri, what's my name? She says, it's all good.

She goes, your name is Mike, but since we're friends, I can call you Heisenberg. Wow. Because, you know, I'm a huge Breaking Bad fan. I'm watching Lone Survivor, and there's a quiet point in the movie. It's like a 90-minute shootout that it gets quiet, and I'm shaking my leg, and I

realize I'm shaking my leg, and I actually hold it down with my hand and actually press my phone in, and all of a sudden, Siri goes, what was that, Heisenberg? And everybody just looks at me like, you fucking asshole. Yeah, right. there's this tense moment Where these guys are sacrificing themselves

For our country It's like the first quiet moment in 45 minutes But then at the end of that movie Like I'm ready to start chanting USA Because it's like so like Pro-American or whatever I'm buying in But right before I can be an asshole

David Bowie's Heroes start playing, and they showed pictures of every person that died in the real mission. Right. And then me and the 12 people in the movie theater just were sobbing. It was this weird communal experience. We can cut that out. I was waiting for a Siri callback No Siri?

Yeah, I needed to break the tension And she was like, stop crying Heisenberg Yeah, you just lift your phone up Everybody's like, yeah We needed that I hear it's a good movie It is really good Intense

Speaking of lone survivors We made it to the end Just like Marky Mark Yeah, he made it Spoiler I just started watching Band of Brothers Speaking of war films I never watched it

I'm halfway through the second episode And Donnie Wahlberg is in it He's actually a pretty good actor He's alright He's alright He's no Marky Mark. Who is? Hey, how you doing? You doing good?

There it is. Not bad. Other guy doing his job. You must be the other guy. That was pretty great. In the Departed. In the Departed. That's our friends. Marty Scorsese. I can call you Heisenberg. Oh, I know what I'm going to change this bitch's voice to.

Can you change it? I think you can. Wow. I know that when Her came out, you could change it to Scarlett Johansson's voice. Oh, good voice. Real quick, while we're talking movies, Don John, the, what's his name's vehicle? Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Joseph, JGL, Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Don John, it's the first movie. Did he write it? Wrote and directed it, yeah. Wrote and directed and starred in. And the whole conceit of the movie, the star, is that he's sexually obsessed, works out a bunch, looks great, and fucks a bunch of women. Hard life. How do you approach a fellow actor? And you're like, hey, I just wrote this script.

What's it about? Well, it's kind of, it's about. It's the third rock from the sunscreen. A spinoff. Well, there's, well, let me just say. There's going to be, it's kind of about how technology and the prolification of pornography. And then also, like, it's a real, real... It's a study on just the human behavior and fuck everybody.

And also, I'd love for you to be in it because I'd totally get to fuck you. And how does that work? The thing is, before you finish that rap, Julianne Moore would have sucked your dick. Yeah, exactly. That's how she got cast. That's how she gets most of her movies.

Julie, that's what I can call her. If you're listening, get it together. Yep. No, she's great. But how does the balls that this fella must have to do a film like that? He's JGO. He can do whatever he wants. But do you have any humility when you ask somebody that?

You're just like, you want to star in this movie where I fuck you most of the time? Simulated fuck you? And we kiss and I grab your titties? I've heard interviews with him. And I think he's just kind of like this quirky, eccentric artist guy. Yeah, but you only get so far to the content of the script. You can be Mr. Cutesy Cute, but then at the end of the day when he's like, yeah, when I separate your butt cheeks and put peanut butter on i didn't see all the movies but i assume

i mean it's i to me that's not as much of a stretch as like vincent gallo doing the brown bunny or something like this well he actually got blown that's weird we talked about this on the podcast we just did with josh ferlinger Brown Bunny, two in a row. Yeah. We'll cut his out. Josh's? It's fresh now. Okay. But no, I don't know. It's one of those things where it's like, I think like Joseph Gordon-Levitt has some

cred. It's not like he's like some creepy like character actor. Like it's not like. Yeah. Like, I don't know, the dude that did like happiness and stuff. Like to me, that's way more of a stretch. Todd Solange. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be like to tell Philip. Like to me, that's way more of a stretch. Todd Salons. Yeah.

Yeah. It would be like to tell Philip Seymour Hoffman, come against this wall or something. Oh, would he work? That's my Philip Seymour Hoffman in that movie. R.I.P. He's up there with better robot records. Oh, come on. It's a good looking Mount Rushmore in heaven.

All right, that's it. I'm done drinking my chai latte from Starbucks. Not the Oprah chai. Why the fuck does she need her own flavor of chai? I went to Starbucks the other day. I didn't get the Oprah chai. What do you drink from Starbucks? Chai.

Do you? There's not much caffeine in the chai. I'm not a coffee guy, so I always drink chai. You're not drinking soda. How's that going? It's going pretty well. Pretty well. I did have one on my birthday.

Hey, God grant me the serenity to change the things I can and other stuff that I can't. And the pleasure to know the difference. That was a great George W. Bush quote. But you're trying to get off the sauce, the high fructose corn syrup sauce. It's tough, man. Yeah, well, hey, just because you slip doesn't mean you fell off the path. Josh, I am a good person. Listen, Mike, you're a great comedian and an even better person.

Josh, good guy. It's all good. Uh-huh. It's all good. It's all good. Uh-huh. It's all good. It's all good. We really should go to Bel Air. Okay. Bye.

Can you rap? Oh, yeah. Can you rap? I can lay it down on the ones and the twos. All right. Let's go out on a beat. We used to have this at the end of the show. This is way back in the day.

Yes. It was called Wrap It Up, and we would actually get the guests to rap. So let me try to get you a rap. Can you lay me down a beat? Yeah. Just give me a second. Take your time. We've got nothing but time.

We're literally going to be late because I want you to freestyle. It's all right. I mean, I go on last, so I don't care. Okay. Okay. Okay. So let's see what we got for this beat. Okay.

Okay. I got that. Let's see where this is at. Okay. Let's see. I just got a text from you saying there is a parking spot open in front of your house. You found it. Yep.

Uh. Uh. Why isn't the snare working? Remix. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh.

Uh. I'm here in Hamden, this is where I is, it's me in the show biz, I got my pedal to the metal doing 71, I'm so bright mama calls me son, I said I drive a Honda cause I'm the man, I said don't call me, call me Stan, I got a digression sesh. It's what I do. I said, let me in the bathroom so I can take a poo. I said, I take a shit all over the place. I said, I'll take a shit all over your face if you let me, baby. Cause it's what I do. I'm scatting man crothers, making the poo, I said. Poo. Poo. Yeah, fucking remix. Remix. Yeah. I think I wrapped it up appropriately. Keep going. Stretch. I got the stretch side.

That was better than I thought it would be. That was really good. The bright like the sun thing. Oh, thank you. That was great. I was very impressed. You know where that came from? Yeah, it's like he stole that. My heart.

No, get out of here Get out of here That's the name of your next album The heart? Yeah, there it is You gotta pronounce it like that too Mike Fianazzo, thank you so much for joining me And thank you for being a good friend

And an even better person ThatMikeFianazzo.com or.net? ThatMikeFianazzo.com MikeFian? Cheers. ThatMikeFanazzo.com. Boom. MikeFanazzo.net. They're still both working. I've checked on my phone. There it is.

Doing all the long lols in this podcast. Well, the one. Well, yeah. Fuck Siri, man. Hey, come on. Well, I'll edit in something in post. Okay. No, I won't.

We have fun. We have fun. Wait, are we going to start recording soon? Is this the podcast? No, I won't. We have fun. We have fun. Wait, are we going to start recording soon? Is this the podcast? Hey, don't take your headphones off. Are we still? No, we're done.

We're done. Thank you, everybody, for listening. Go to iTunes and rate and rave and review and things and stuff. And digressionsessions.com slash calendar has all of our upcoming live stand-up and improv dates. Board-certified addiction specialist. Love that. I'm at a gorilla. That's Dr. Drew. I'm at BetterRobotJosh on Twitter.

Please follow me. Mike's not on Twitter because he's dumb. Also on Instagram as BetterRobotJosh. Thank you guys so much for listening. Follow us. You can follow Mike Moran at MichaelMoran10. The podcast is at DickSashPod. And as always, if you like somebody, please tell somebody. Thanks, Mike. Thank you, Joshua.

Goodbye. Thank you. you