The Digression Sessions - Ep. 129 - Josh & Mike (@BetterRobotJosh & @MichaelMoran10)

Episode Date: August 25, 2014

Backyard Sesh! Follow Us on Twitter: @BetterRobotJosh - Josh Kuderna @MichaelMoran10 - Mike Moran @DigSeshPod - For podcast updates! Hola DigHeads! This week our guest is merely the love between your favorite pair of earbuds, Josh and Mike! Join the guys as they catch up on their lives of stand-up comedy, alarm systems, and talks in the office about things being dirty when they do not appear to be dirty. This is a good one folks, as Josh and Mike, bounce between serious life issues, and very serious life issues (like granite counter tops). Enjoy! f you can swing it please drop our asses a few bones via the “Donate” button over there on our website! Also please subscribe to the Digression Sessions on Stitcher and iTunes. And check out our new home and podcast network, Thunder Grunt! Thanks everyone! We love you!  

Welcome to the Digression Sessions Podcast. Hey, everybody. I'm Josh Koderna. And I'm Mike Moran. And you're listening to the Digression Sessions Podcast, a Baltimore-based comedy talk show hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers. Join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence. As we interview local and non-local comedians, writers, musicians, and anyone else we find creative and interesting. Yes.

Who's the guest this week? The love between the two hosts cannot be found. But here are Mike and I still podcasting together. We're the guests on this week's program. Ready to bring a hot energy pass conversation to you. I am on fire. I don't know about you. is i'm alive mike is like a buddhist monk vietnam like right like protesting vietnam style fire that's really dark but it's

on fire right it's true that's where you're at i guess there's a lot of dark places you can go with that uh saying already we're yes anding each other. We're on fire over here. The love is I can taste. I just got three dunks in a row. There it is. Boom. How did he get the ball back so fast? He can dunk that quickly. I'm on fire.

This girl. Pause. I'm on fire. This girl is on fire. That is a weird saying if you think about it. This girl is on fire. That is a weird saying if you think about it. They're on fire. This girl is on fire. Is she saying she's upset or she's doing really well? No, I think it's like she's on a roll, you know? Oh, okay.

Well, why doesn't she just say that? I think there was a time when I didn't know there was a difference between on a roll and on a roll. I think I thought people were saying like, he's on a roll. My son is on a roll. Yeah. Uh-huh. Like, oh, good for him. What grade is he in?

He's 35 years younger. Let's see here. So let's promote some stuff in the beginning. That's what I normally do when we have a guest on the program. But we've both been busy, and I was going to try to book somebody for this weekend. And I've been moving, and we painted this weekend, and I have just not found the time to podcast. You could me i could have got somebody well well at least i assume i don't know yeah right uh let's see here so let's uh let's promote some stuff let's let's get ourselves out there yeah let's do that why don't you go first while i look up my dates oh michael have you been on the okay cupids

i'm just kidding we're talking about live comedy dates. Ping and pong and ping and pong. Ping and pong. What if those were our podcasting names? Hey, it's ping and pong in the morning. How you doing? Nice. Volley.

B-b-b-b-volley. What? That's the type of yes and that you could expect all podcasts. Huh? So let's see here. Me, Josh Katerna. Yes. You can find me on the internets.

I'm on Twitter. I'm at BetterRobotJosh on Twitter, also on Instagram. And let's see here. I got some live dates, live stand-up and improv and some other stuff too. I'll be a guest on another podcast, a live podcast called You, Me, Them. Everybody at the Wonderland Ballroom on September 5th in DC. It's going to be at 8pm the following day, Friday. Nope, not Friday. The following Saturday, September 6th, I'll be at Zissimos here in Baltimore doing improv with Michael Johnson in a duo we call Johnson and Joshlyn. September 13th, I will be featuring at the Auto Bar

for the second Saturday shit show. It'll be stand-up at 8 p.m. I believe that's free. And then the 17th, I'll be doing Chuckle Storm at the same venue downstairs. And that is a live talk show with live stand-up and sketch and characters and all kinds of fun stuff. So come out to those.

Michael, what do you got going on as far as live improv and stand-up dates? Well, let's see. On August 30th, we have stand-up at Zizimo's in Hamden. Hey, now. That will be 8 p.m. Yep. I will be doing improv at the Baltimore Theater Project. Yes.

September 12th. Yes. 8 p.m. Uh-huh. And then on September 19th, I will be doing the McDowell Brew Kitchen in Leesburg, Virginia. I hear they have a Roy Rogers there. Yeah, at least one. At least.

At least. So bring your fry holsters and come on down. That is at 9 p.m. I would like to think that you were just going to say that apropos of nothing like if i even if i didn't mention roy rogers you would that's what you wait that's a roy rogers thing yeah yeah you know i encourage my attendees to bring their fry holsters no matter what that would be great that's like my thing with some mike moran paraphernalia in there you know like

if you ever put out a dvd god forbid god forbid. They put one in there. Do DVDs even exist anymore? Yeah. Yeah. Sure they do. No, they do, Michael. They do. It's good to see you. Thank you.

Good to see you as well. We're podcasting outside. Outside. Outside. This is fun. This is the second installment of the Outside Podcasting series. Well, I mean, I did it last week with John F. O'Donnell in a park in D.C., and now we're in my backyard. I'm liking this mobile podcasting stuff.

You don't need much. We should do like a tour of Baltimore County. Yeah. We could podcast from Cockeysville, from Meisterstown. Be called the most boring podcast ever. Just like, well, here we are in Cockeysville. A car drives by like, Baggage! Munza hates that word.

She's the word police. What? What's going on? You want to go inside, Munza? Again, this is one of the hazards of podcasting outside. Mike, can you let her inside the house? Sorry, everybody. This is just like how George Washington podcasted.

Good, good. Munza, go. What do you want? Sorry, the dog's going nuts, everybody. All right. So, Mike, it's good to see you. Haven't hung out in a while. I'm in a new place, new home.

Emotionally? No. Or physically? No. Well, I guess both. Yeah. I was feeling a little burnt out there for a bit. Yeah, why is that? With moving, work, school. School. No, I'm both. I was feeling a little burnt out there for a bit. With moving, work, school.

I'm not going to school. I'm not going to school. Raising the kids. That was one of the more depressing parts. I found out I'm not in school. Really? I've been showing up day after day. I thought I was on a roll.

It's weird because I usually have nightmares that are the opposite. I forget that I have some class that I'm at the end of and I need to be studying for. Uh-huh. And I can't remember where it is exactly. Isn't that such a relieving feeling, though, when you wake up? Yeah. It's like when you wake up at four in the morning and you're like, oh, fuck, I'm late. You're like, oh, I have more time to sleep.

It's so weird how long our lives revolve around the routine of school and test taking and things like that. Uh-huh. And then it just ends. Yeah. Well, it is kind of like what jerry seinfeld said it's more i think it was him like talking about school or maybe it wasn't him what if i just said like something really racist the jews should be eradicated from germany i don't know what that has to do him and his buddy Goebbels. It is such good fortune for leaders that men do not think. Was that Louis?

Death of one is a tragedy. Death of a million is a statistic. I think that was Carlin. Cheesy. Who said that? FDR? That was FDR. Well, more like schools just to basically prepare you to get up and do shit you don't want to do you know right in a good way of like all right you're gonna have to go to work you're

gonna have to do things throughout your life and uh that prepares you to be beaten down and uh molded i'm gonna win though i'm gonna beat life uh the board game yes uh-huh hey good luck you got a lot of kids in that station wagon not a good move to put them on top of the station wagon either. I've actually never played Life. Really? I know we had it at our house, and I remember the pegs in the station wagon. Yeah. I don't remember playing it.

It was like, you just got a baby. Just put it on top of the car. Wow. That's how it worked. At least the same size as everyone else in your family. Exactly. Immediately. Let's see here.

Some catching up to do, Michael. Some catching up. You've been busy doing some stand-up, right? Give me one anecdote from doing stand-up recently. Let me think here. Well. Yeah. Just speak right into that thing.

Huh. Into that microphone, yeah. I don't know. I don't know if I have anything worth. No good crowd work? Well, yeah. What, do you want me to brag about how wonderful I am? Yeah.

I thought you meant kind of a story that just went along with doing stand-up. Just anything. Look, man, I shouldn't have to pry stuff out of you. Okay, all right. So if you want me to talk about a wonderful thing that I did. Sure. That everybody enjoyed. Uh- you. Okay. All right. So if you want me to talk about a wonderful thing that I did. Sure. That everybody enjoyed. Uh-huh. That's this new segment called

This Wonderful Thing I Did That Everybody Enjoyed. Okay. So we got a couple drunk middle-aged blonde ladies. You know how they can be when they're sitting up front at a stand-up show. And they I

talk, one of my go-to bombing lines, like if I have a joke that bombs is the terrible irony of my life is that I wait tables all day and I do comedy at night so I have to laugh at these terrible customer jokes that aren't at all funny and then I come out and you people feel no similar

obligation. Their heckle to that was we're not tipping you. You're not tipping us or something like that. My response was, and they'd been heckling every comedian. My response was, here's a tip. Sit quietly

and listen for the rest of the show. Which went over well. They didn't get too offended. They thought it was funny. And then they came back with no, no. And then I added on, I don't go to your

job and knock the Mary Kay products out of your hand, which apparently was a hit. There you go. Which apparently was a hit. Let's hear about something good that you did i you know i just rock the stage every time i go up there i mean it's just par for the course well yeah this is uh let me i'm trying to think anything uh um we talked about this a little bit but the uh uh working with bobby slayton and uh just kind of dealing with him was always interesting uh who's known as the pit bull of comedy, which really isn't like the teddy bear of comedy. You know, I wasn't expecting a super sweet man.

Well, maybe he could be nice. But yeah, you never know with those guys. Like sometimes they're the nicest people. Yeah. Yeah. He's been doing stand up for over 30 years. And I was hosting shows that he was doing. And Mike Fonazza was the feature, the lovely Dig Sesh favorite over here.

And hosting those. And then Bobby Slayton, I guess, was just having a rough week. And most of his complaints were stuff that I kind of aspire to have. And he was saying when I was going to bring him up on stage, I wanted to get his credits or anything he wanted me to plug, a DVD. He did have a DVD that he had mailed to the club, but they didn't arrive in time. So as I'm going up to him and I go,

so, hey, Bobby, anything you want me to say? He's like, oh, who the fuck cares? Fucking, I did three hours of morning radio this fucking morning. The shuttle over here sucked. They don't have my fucking DVDs. Robin's dead and my wife's a cunt. So just in that order, you just want me

to read those things and then the pitbull of comedy? This was not done with a smirk. These were serious problems. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so if you're keeping score,

riding a shuttle is worse than one of your friends that you started out doing comedy with committing suicide. To be fair, he did not specify

that this was an order of importance to least least importance and my wife's a cunt not necessarily in that order you can't expect a man to to to always uh place things from from most to least well uh his list um i mean it started out with radio if i was like if you're like i'm having I'm having a bad day, and I'd be like, well, Mike, what was so bad? You'd probably lead with the worst thing, right? Lead with the worst or maybe end with the worst, right? Yeah, but maybe I'm not prepared, you know? But if I'm not like trying to pry it out of you. I'm just like.

Well, here's the thing. With Robin being dead, I'm sure that's something that he already dealt with in the days before or the week before. I'm sure that's just something that's still lingering. Had he just found out that Robin Williams... I'm talking about Robin like I know him now because we're like two degrees away through this story.

I'm sure if he just found out, that would have been his main... In fact, he probably would have completely forgotten about all those other problems. He, uh, maybe, but he complained about his wife a lot. But, I mean, that's also a large part of his act, so I don't know how much of that is, like, winky kind of... Sure. My wife's a cunt. Right.

Deal. Am I boring you with my wife's a cunt story, Michael? No. Am I boring you? I did fucking three hours of radio this morning. The shuttle over here sucked. They don't have my DVDs. You rode a freaking space shuttle to the club and he's complaining.

The shuttle sucked. The rocket sucked. No thrusters. No rings were loose. It was terrible. Terrible. Yeah, so did that. And those shows were fun.

And he did this thing every time he brought me up where I'd try to get off stage and be like, Oh, okay, Bobby Slayton. You know, you shake hands and you get off the stage. He would hold my hand and pull me back. Really? He'd go, Oh, come on, another round of applause for my friend here. We've been touring together. I love this guy.

He's so funny. And his name is, and I'd have to say it in his ear, he'd be like, Josh. And everybody's like, ah. And so he did that five times. Jesus Christ. People love that bit where I don't know your fucking name. Yeah.

It's fun. Do you think he's done that like every night of his career for the last 20 years? Oh, yeah yeah i'm sure and then some and uh he uh the last night i think it was saturday i was like hey bobby before i bring you up i'm gonna i'm gonna switch it i'm gonna not know your name he gets in my face he goes don't get fucking cocky are you serious i mean it was just he's just an intense dude so it's like oh okay all right but uh yeah i mean i mean overall he was cool he was just a intense fella and uh let's see here let's see some some standout stuff stand out stand up stuff um trying to think here

had a busy couple days which is good i'm'm trying to hit as many mics as possible without feeling too burnt out. I'm kind of at that level where I need to make sure that I balance just being fried versus working hard. Right. Because I always have that yin and yang of if I go home, I'm like, all right, go home after work and then like say i'm not going to go do stand-up then i have i have that feeling of feeling lazy and not trying hard enough but then if i go and do a mic and like the mic's kind of beat not much is going on and you're like i probably should have just stayed home you know what i mean like where it's where it's worth it to actually get some rest so i felt good about that this week like tuesday i went and did two

mics and then took wednesday off thursday did two mics no it was thursday too no thursday i hosted a show and then friday did two mics and then took all the saturday off and then taking today off i was gonna hit a mic in baltimore uh tonight but that got canceled so so it was like i'm feeling better about like okay get some reps in but not enough to wear like because if you're going to do the mic and you're not in the right minds right right mind space then you're just, what the fuck am I even doing this for? I do kind of think, though, it's probably important to be able to, like, get to a place where we can do stand-up in any space. Yeah, put the mic, like, right in front because it's super directional. There you go.

Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. I feel like I have some phallic symbol shooting out of my mouth straight towards you. That's how I feel comfortable. Good. Go ahead. Sorry. Go ahead. Yeah, no, I feel like it's usually, it of my mouth straight towards you. That's how I feel comfortable. Good. Go ahead. Sorry.

Go ahead. Yeah, no, I feel like it's almost always the right choice to go to the mic. Yeah, I mean, yeah, if you're trying to get something out of it, if you know, like, okay, if there's not as many people here, so it's more I'm just getting the reps in on stage, maybe getting accurate reading material. But as far as just being burnt out, like my team. Yeah, you should preserve your sanity to some extent.

Yeah, exactly. Like my team leader said at work, she's like, oh, so you're like, you're performing. She's like, well, how many times a week do you perform? And it's like, oh, like average, like three or four. And, you know, like performing, you count like mics and stuff like that too because i mean you can't really explain the difference between like an open mic's not really a show or whatever and she's like three or four how do you even function at work and i didn't want to be like barely barely i don't do a very good job i don't know if you've noticed but i don't

do a very good job yeah i'm not a very good employee yeah uh no i'm a i'm a good employee but yeah at work he's just fried so so i felt good about this week like having a balance and then saturday my dad came over and we painted the house and he fixed a couple things around the house which is good yeah and uh it's it's so nice to have a dad that's like a dude's guy right like knows how to do stuff like right he's like the tool man he really is i mean as far as like he doesn't put like a dude's guy right like knows how to do stuff like right he's like the tool man he really is i mean as far as like he doesn't put like a supercharger on our dishwasher or anything or like like like tim did tim allen i know i'm saying what the fuck why not uh oh yeah yeah i know um well he's just not as much man as a tim allen i guess or tim taylor yes uh so yeah it's nice to have, like, this is wrong with my car.

I'd be like, okay, I can take a look at it. Like, there's some stuff I can do. I can change a tire, and I can change the oil, and that's about it. But you can't change Mike Moran. I just can't tune this piano, or fish, or whatever it is. You know that old saying, you can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish? What? No.

You never heard that? Never once in my life. It's a play on tuna fish. Oh, I still don't get it. Really? You can tune a piano. But what do you say it in reference to? What is it?

Well, that's what I was just saying. I can change the oil, but I can't. Tuna fish. Yeah. You're in comedy, right? You understand the mechanics of what I'm doing? You're in comedy, I understand, yes. There you go.

You just did it. Thank you. So, yeah, so he came over and there's just some stuff like he fixed around that. Like, oh, this door is loose. I'll just cut this out and put a new hinge on and that type of thing. And I think I might try to make this a bit, but he has extra tools that he's given me. And I use some stuff around the house. You need a hammer or a screwdriver here and there.

But he gave me a file. And he gave me a buzz saw. Wow. Because he just had an extra one. So I was like, oh, okay. And I just had it in my trunk. And I opened my trunk recently to get something else out of there. Like, we went somewhere. I think we went to the store and I had an extra one. So I was like, oh, okay. And I just had it in my trunk. And I opened my trunk recently to get something else out of there. Like we went somewhere.

I think we went to the store and I had groceries in there. He's like, oh, buzz saw's still in there, huh? Just like disappointed that I haven't even taken it out of the car. Kind of a man, are you? Yeah, like, but what if I get a buzz saw? Get out back and saw some crap. Like I should just wildly swing it. Take it out of the wall or something.

Yeah. No son of mine's going to leave a saw in the trunk. But he's a sweetheart. He's the best. He showed us how to paint. And painting is not hard, but there's a little bit of a technique to it. Sure. So, yeah.

Mike, when we moved in here, don't even get me started. We started the walls with this awful shade of blue, and we just put white right over that. Really? It looks wonderful. Really opened the room up. Did it not? I don't know. I didn't see it before. Thank you.

But it looks nice. Thank you. Thank you. And we talked about this at work recently. We got granite countertops. Granite. Which I think they're granite. Now, granite, they are countertops.

But you can't tuna fish. Exactly. Right? I think they're granite. I'm not sure. But I found myself in one of the yuppiest conversations at work it's like somebody's saying something about granite countertops it's like i like them but the good thing about them is they hide so much dust and the worst part about them is they hide so much dust like i know and we're like we're sharing

stories of being like oh this looks clean but it, but it's filthy. It was nice. Then I had a sip of coffee and went back to my cubicle and just banged out an Excel spreadsheet. It was a good day. It was a great day. I have no idea what you do at work. What do you want to know? Nothing. It sounds pretty boring.

Yeah, it is pretty boring. I have no clue what office people do in their offices or their cubicles. I mean, it varies. Some people have one monitor. office people do in their offices or their cubicles. I mean, it varies. Some people have one monitor. Some people have two monitors. All I know is, like, you better get those files on time, you know, make sure you. Yeah. I mean, a lot of my stuff.

So I work in budget. And we work in what's called budget execution. So we're making. Make executions cheaper. We're really... Guys, it's belt tightening time. Around those necks. So we just make sure...

We monitor overtime and payroll and that type of thing, and I can tell you're excited. I'm exciting myself because I have to go back to work tomorrow. I can tell by the tint in your pants. you thank you you know uh sex while camping is intense jason lydic said that to me once and uh obviously making a pun but i didn't notice and i thought he was saying like intense like like power you didn't and i was like yeah i've heard like sex outside is he's like no intense

and i was like got it got it got it uh let's see here let's see here what else is on the list here of things i wanted to discuss got a security system yeah was gonna have uh because you already have a dog yeah but sometimes we leave and the dog's not here you know we take the dog with us or she's doing her own thing um or she could be in on it like right right right like okay she's like texting her nefarious doggy buddies like some asshole pit bulls come over here and maybe she has some type of house party situation yeah uh so when we moved in there was already an adt system set up just not activated and i had to activate that with the people with the good the good folks over at comcast who aren't evil at all and uh because we have internet through them so we had to get a landline i thought to activate this system

and when i told the guy comcast that I was going to activate the security, he was like, oh, with ADT, I mean, you could do it with them, but Comcast offers this service, and we would love to protect you, blah, blah, blah. This is how you service your client of Comcast. It's like, oh, I can't speak properly. I feel like that's the level of fake enthusiasm you get on podcasts when they're advertising for whatever. Yeah, stamps.com. Brought to you by stamps.com.

I ain't going to the post office. Don't you? I do. That said, speaking of people with problems that we aspire to, I would love to get bored reading copy for advertisements that pay for this podcast. Maybe we can do that with Thunder Grunt. Hopefully this network will come together and we'll get some sponsors. Yeah. Oh, real quick, too.

There's going to be a live. We're trying to work out something where there's going to be every month maybe like a live Thunder Grunt event. Cool. And September 26th at the Wind Up Space we're going to have. I think they're going to do a live and looking book bookstore podcast and maybe some other stuff so come out to that and uh i also talked to mike harris over at the baltimore improv group the head honcho over there yes uh we have a new theater uh the the theater uh a new theater space to perform but the baltimore improv group is the improv uh collective that mike and i perform under and we just got a new theater space to perform, but the Baltimore Improv Group is the improv collective that Mike and I perform under.

And we just got a new theater and Mike Harris, head honcho over there at the Baltimore Improv Group. The big cheese. He said, have you guys ever thought about doing a live podcast?

It'd be great to have you guys on an off night. So there you go. We could do a live podcast. Getting those off nights. I'm cool with that. I mean, for our first live one. Getting those off nights. I'm cool with that. Yeah, me too. I mean, for our first live one.

Sure, absolutely. I'd be down with that. Not quite ready for prime time yet. Not quite yet. Or syndication. Are our old episodes in syndication yet? Do they come on TV after like 4.45? Are they after Friends?

Yeah. Right after Ray Romano. So the guy at the Comcast is like, I just like trying to get us to do like security with them, which to me is just weird enough that they offer it. Like Comcast owns NBC. They provide cable to everybody. They have internet. They have phone.

And then they want security too. Like it just seems like some evil corporation type thing. Just do one thing and do it better than anyone, Comcast. And you'll get there eventually. Also, putting the stake in your yard that says, this house is protected by a cable company. Oh, no. Where am I?

I messed with my reception. I love that some yokel is the guy that's going to break into the house like, me, oh, my. This house is protected by Comcast. I'm picturing like Klansmen coming because they heard that you were black. Yeah. They ride off and shoot the car. I am putting that rumor out there.

I am black. I'm a black man. Good. Good. When did you decide to become black? I've always been as far as the Klan's concerned. So, I think, where was I going with that? I think that's it.

Got security. Yeah, it's weird that Comcast isn't in charge of your security. But they're not. So, we went with ADT. Okay. And ADT was, because that was the system that was already in the house. Sure. Which I enjoy.

And, yeah, it's weird having the security system, but I like it just having all this musical crap in the house and all that stuff. Like our front door is just all glass, which is dumb. You're basically advertising how people can break into your house right now. But it's all glass, and then beyond that is those razor blade lasers that ADT put in for free. And the eel pit. Ah, don't get me started on the eel pit.

You realize there are criminals that listen to podcasts just to find details on... You think so? No, I'm just kidding. That's like a thing I read about in the paper. What's going on with the dig sesh, man? Did they drop any hints? Did they drop any hints? I want to get into Katerna's house, but it's like Fort Knox.

I mean, it's finally had some- You could trade for the downloads. You finally had some details. So, Mike, we were speaking about you. You have a security system that you would like to employ, which is a little off-brand. Let me hear this. It's a little unorthodox. A little unorthodox.

But you got to think outside the box sometimes. Know what I'm saying? Yeah. So hear me out. I know what you're saying. Hear me out. Okay. Instead of an alarm, instead of a dog, I ordered a bunch of satanic looking.

Instead of a dog with alarms in its mouth. I ordered a bunch of satanic-looking Illuminati symbol stickers. Going to put them on the door? Going to put them on the car? It's a social experiment. It's like the Sanford's prison experiment. How so? I don't know what that experiment is.

Where they made some college students prisoners and some cops and yeah supposedly the the authority figures turned like abusive within a short period of time very quickly although it's actually been disputed since then well they've done some other stuff too like haven't they done um similar experiments in colleges with like people that were wearing lab coats and things like i don't know yeah they've done similar stuff since then it's kind of proven that stuff. Yeah. But apparently this particular experiment,

the results have been overblown in a lot of reports since. Look, Mike, I don't know enough about it to refute it. Last week's podcast, we had John F. O'Donnell on, who's working on a political talk show. Not talk show. It's sort of like a more radical daily show called Redacted tonight so we just spoke about a lot of political stuff and it was just like i don't know like enough to like to yeah that's i think that's how a lot of people are they just want to bit it yeah well the thing talking to john too about that too is like it's like i know racism is wrong i know

homophobia is wrong that's pretty much it but for some reason when you put them together it's right i don't know so right um uh but yeah well we're talking to like he was like political in the sense like he was aware of stuff that's going on but then when you make it your job you just have to be consumed with that stuff sure so that's all you talk about and then it gets filtered into your comedy too but it's rarely stuff that's making the news politically is happy you know it's like it's just like you always have to almost kind of be consumed with horrible stuff yeah well anything that makes the news is not going to be happy exactly five percent of the time right and then now when that becomes your job right so i think that's why it's almost out of active self-preservation that you're just like,

Oh, okay. I'm aware of these few big things and they kind of suck. I don't know. Well, we also have like a, a desire or like a tendency to avoid good news. We like our brains aren't equipped to accept good news i think like we're more

stimulated by shock and all uh yeah i mean there is yeah there is a element to that like on the human hole where uh people will in whole yeah courtney love uh where people will uh be like that you know that's why i say if it bleeds it leads because obviously people are interested in that stuff but i mean as far as like my own life you know of what i'm interested in like i don't want to pay too much attention to i mean i do i'm not like willfully ignorant about like you know what's the stuff right like in ferguson and that type of thing but like every little like you know i don't like if you're a news junkie you're basically yeah just just depressing stuff coming in.

But that's, like, my whole point of my life is that that's kind of bullshit. Really? What do you mean? I mean, tabloid news reporting has dominated journalism, at least for several decades, maybe even before. Uh-huh. Yeah, no, it's definitely like wrestling like portray if you if you took like an accurate uh view of uh news in general in the world i think you'd be pretty pleasantly surprised a lot of the time uh yes i don't mean you personally i mean anyone i mean yeah like definitely on a local level there's a lot more good stuff going on

that you're one isn't probably aware of when they're consumed with like larger stuff that's going on you know war and famines and that's right but there is so much there is a lot of bad shit happening there is but but if you look at the levels of it it's so overwhelmingly less than it used to be um yeah yeah i mean yes and no yes like there's definitely improvements like uh i like when people say like it's this is the worst this country's ever been right you know you know we had slaves remember that this country's never been more right this country's never been more that's my point humans constantly do that but i'd be willing to go probably much further than you in saying that things are exceedingly better than we can even fathom most of the time yes and no but then like

like just stuff scares me as far as like climate change and garbage patches and sure that type of thing like pollution's a bigger for me clean water but yeah beyond that there you know stuff's pretty good but we've been scared of those things for decades, if not centuries. Yeah, but then when it comes to people like, no, climate change is bunk. You're like, why? Even if it's not, wouldn't you want to make the air you breathe better? Take steps towards that?

Yeah, but I mean, people generally eventually, I don't know. If the news took into account a third of the good stuff that happens in the world versus the bad. I mean, war has dropped to an unheard of rate in the last decade, but we don't hear that on the news ever. AIDS doesn't even make you die any younger as of last year, but you don't hear that on the news. Yeah, but that's in this country. No, not just this country but i mean it's it's it's in africa too but it's at the aid of this country you know i mean then that costs more money and but it's getting better in other countries too i mean the civil wars have

largely disappeared in the last decade in africa and oh africa is doing good relatively speaking yes yes since like the communist capitalist proxy wars of like the 80s and 90s i don't know man statistically speaking far less people are dying violently uh yeah i mean i guess you know i mean there was dar for just a couple years ago yeah but you're taking an anecdote i mean an anecdote if you know yeah, but it's still, statistically speaking, overall, there's far less violence. Yeah, I mean, again, I don't know enough about it, and maybe that's to your point, maybe, of saying, like, you're not hearing the good stuff that's coming out of there, but I don't know how much good stuff is really happening.

I mean... I completely disagree. I realize your view is the common view. You know how pompous you sounded? I understand that you're just this middle of the road. No, I'm not saying that. Obviously what you're saying I do agree with on a larger whole, but I just don't know how well Africa is doing considering current events there. But I will say that there are good things happening for sure that aren't highlighted in the news as much as the negative. So we agree there.

Yeah. But, yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's definitely, there's always going to be a balance of stuff. So, but that said, this is the most divided this country's ever been. What about the Civil War? I know. I know.

No, that's what I'm talking about. That's why I love people like, this country's so divided. Remember when we actually did divide? And every now and then you'll hear people like like, forecasting another civil war, you know? Yeah. Yeah, like the Christian right versus everybody. Like, when is there, is anybody getting violent right now, you know, in America? Like, are there TV is too good?

Suicide bombers. Our podcast is too good, you know? People are just, they don't want to revolt, you know? New dig sess dropping every Monday. I know. You don't want to revolt, you know? New dig says dropping every Monday. I know. You don't want to mess that up. Right. Exactly.

Exactly. You don't want to screw with the flow. Yes. That's what I'm talking about. That is what I'm talking about. Let's see here. Let's see. Talked about work.

Did a little catching up as far as the house goes. I think that. I switched just from genocide to as the house goes. I think that's it. I switched just from genocide to cleaning the house. Well, you want to talk about good stuff that's happening. The move was good. Moving was nice. Got a new bed. I enjoyed that.

I don't bet you did. I really did. Got a new bed, which was good. We were going to get rid of ours because i was just kind of ratty and like the box spring broke while we were moving it right like it was one of those things we were trying to like get it around a doorway into the stairs so i was just jamming this fucking thing and i just like pushed it you just heard it break but it went down the stairs and i was like fuck it who cares and then a friend of ours she was like oh i'm getting rid of my bed you can

have it for free. I was like, fuck yeah. Nice. I don't know if you've looked, but beds are expensive as shit. I've never bought one. Really? And people have just given them to me secondhand. Yeah.

And luckily, this bed was in really good condition. Looked new. Nice. Shout out to Allie. Big ups. Big ups. Having a nice bed. Yeah, man.

That's it. Just kind of living this yuppie lifestyle. Doing, man. That's it. Just kind of living this yuppie lifestyle. Doing stand-up. Doing some improv. Oh, I wanted to plug the short film that I got to do. Yes. Which was good. It's called The First Promise.

And you can look for it on YouTube or Vimeo. Just search The First Promise short film. It'll pop up. It's only about three minutes long. But we get in, get out. All these other blockbuster films, hour 20, hour plus, you know. What are they doing?

Just cut the fat. Cut it out. This is nothing but a lean, mean, short, romantic film. Which led critics like my dad to ask after seeing it, you doing chick films now? Doing chick flicks? So it's a really sweet movie. A lot of fags in Hollywood.

Is that what you're interested in, Joshua? My wife's a cunt. Yeah, so it was really good. A friend of mine, Joey Malinsky, who's a really talented director. And you can find his stuff at Across the Bridge Productions. Search for that. And he grew up on Ken Island where I grew up, but we were never friends.

I mean, we were like acquaintances. Right. Immortal enemies. He was a little bit older, so we had friends of friends, just kind of in different circles. Cuts of years later, I moved to Baltimore, and I ran into him.

He's like, yeah, I'm living here. I was like, no shit, that's great. And now when we were moving in, I figured out that he's only like four houses down. Wow. So yeah, we went and shot this thing the night before we did the jason weems interview so it was like 10 p.m to 4 a.m we shot some pickup stuff that sunday but but god damn i was so exhausted then we moved all day that day too it was it was brutal but uh but yeah it was really

good it's uh it's about it's loosely i think mostly like the the uh the whole like intent of the thing is like joey when he like one night he went out dancing and he saw his girl and he was like completely in love with her and that ended up being his wife so you want to tell that story of that night of like those two days like falling in love with a girl and then uh so it was just me and uh another actress uh abbyara, who's a local comedian around here, who I didn't really know that well. We've had maybe like our longest conversation, eight minutes, maybe. But again, not enemies.

Not enemies. Not yet. Not yet. So, and we had to get kind of intimate. We didn't have to like kiss or anything, but definitely had to act like we're in love. Sure. Which is hard to fake. I don't know i've done it many times it's gotten me laid have you seen me at thanksgiving um yeah well yeah it's uh yeah it was just uh i think we were

both just like kind of nervous at first right we just ended up like shooting a bunch and then uh kind of came together just acting natural is hard yeah i whenever i i've never really attempted acting like real acting but uh whenever i i kind of mess around with it i yeah like shooting stuff like i don't know where like where do i put my arm yeah like just stuff you never think about like should i put my hand on my knee do i look weird like is my elbow supposed to be yeah so yeah like the stuff that we shot too with some of the first stuff we shot was inside a car so joey was shooting stuff on both sides of uh the passenger and driver sides we just put the camera in the window so like my first few takes i was just going really fast because i just want to get through my lines

so i was just like oh yeah and i'm done you know like i'm not thinking about being natural right like in that improv way like you're listening and reacting and i was just like nope i say my line now you say yours i say mine and great we're done he's just like slow down like what do you mean did you do it with that fake enthusiasm like but what do you mean of course i'm in love listen as our options may have changed. Please listen closely. If you need to make an appointment with Dr. Ferrara. Oh, my God.

You know Scott Macklin? Yes. Our friend. We went and saw him in New Jersey. We went to the beach. It was like a few of us. All night, I think we got a little drunk, and we were just doing the Baltimore accent, and he was so good at it.

Really? It was just one of the funniest things. I generally think that's not funny at all when people do it. Oh, my God. But he's just so good at it. And the way that he was talking, we were mostly talking about sports, just like,

Flacco, you throw right over the goddamn middle on point every time. Like, just like so, like, oh, my God, it was so funny. Nice. And then it just led to just ridiculous stuff. Like, Taheep, he co-signed on my house. Yeah, he did. He's a good guy. Tight end Taheep.

It's such a horrible accent. You know, it's not just Baltimore. Like, the Philly accent's pretty close to that. Really? And then Cincinnati. What was the deal with Rocky? He had like a Brooklyn accent, didn't he? I don't know.

I think that's just how Sylvester Stallone talks, right? Yeah, I think so. So they're just like, yeah. I think they just kind of chose Philadelphia for a cheap city to film in. Right, right, where it's like a gritty kind of thing either way. But that's definitely not a Philadelphia accent, right? I mean, I feel like it's – I think you could tell a difference between a Baltimore and a Philly one, but they're very close. Like, hey, how's y'all's doing?

You twos over there? Like that type of thing. Philly listeners, let us know. Let us know, you fucking idiots. Fill us in. Hey, now. What are you? I'd hit the oh yeah button.

The Baltimore accent kind of comes from like Appalachia, right? Like Appalachian people moving in to work in factories and stuff. Coming down from the hills? Yeah. You're working down here in a factory? Factory? Probably. I don't know.

I mean, that's my guess. I don't know. Immigrants rolling into our ports, you know? What? Dirtying things up, including our accents, probably. They check in at Fort McHenry and get their name chopped in half. Checked in. Let's touch on a couple things, then we'll wrap this thing up.

It's getting a little dark. The humor or the... No, just outside it's getting a little getting a little dark summer's almost over I remember this this time of night

used to creep me out when I was little twilight yeah it used to really kind of scare me ah like when you need to be out

and it starts getting like this and you don't really notice and then you're kind of like oh wow I should get home yeah and you're on your bike and you're like oh shit I'm like two miles away yeah

I better cruise before those bad people get me yeah um yeah I think I had a little bit of that um but i just knew i was like i got pegs on my bike i'll just take those off and just use them as a fucking um brass knuckles that's what i would do i just put them in my hand and just destroy somebody my i was more scared of eight-year-old monsters and stuff I think. Yeah? Like supernatural things.

Like oh it's dark out now we can come out. Get that Moran kid. Dude I had such horrible fears of like ghosts and things like that.

Aliens freaked me out real hard. I think X-Files did that to me. Really? I never really watched X-Files. Well yeah I mean

like in the mid early to mid 90s like aliens became a huge thing. Oh yeah I remember. No I was definitely in on that phenomenon. It never really watched X-Files. Well, yeah. I mean, like in the mid, early to mid-90s, like aliens became a huge thing. Oh, yeah. No, I was definitely in on that phenomenon. It never really scared me that much, though. But I did have an instinct of like seeing what I thought was a UFO for many, many years. Yeah.

And like would draw it off and tell people about it. It was probably a weather balloon, but it was, even in my mind to this day, it was kind of weird. Yeah. There was a thing behind this Lido's that I used to work for. We would go outside at night to throw the trash away. And there would just be three lights in the sky that were a triangle. Really? Most nights.

Like, what the fuck is that? Did you ever figure it out? No. Wow. One time we tried to go look for it. And I think they were a helicopter. Like, we went, because we were on Kent Island. So it was an island.

So we went to, like, the shore as far as we could. Right. We were on the beach. so it was an island, so we went to the shore as far as we could on the beach. And I think they were helical. We couldn't tell because they were still so far away. They were just lights in the sky. They were moving? No, they would be like static, just the three of them.

And so I don't know if maybe they were moving away from us or they were moving closer. I don't know. It could be some type of military exercise. I don't know. I don't know. Blake, if you're listening, tell me if you remember what they were. Oh, yeah.

So, yeah, a couple things to touch on. We're in the middle of a Simpsons marathon. Mike, you got cable? No, I do not. I did catch a few episodes of my sisters last night, however. Yeah. Did you see any good ones? Yeah, I saw the Critic crossover.

That's classic, yes. Also, I saw the film festival one so part of that one with barney's uh film on alcoholism and uh that is the same episode oh you're right it is um i saw like parts of one or two other ones i can't remember what yeah our cable was uh fucking up for a couple days so i i saw a little bit here and there but today it was working and i saw uh flying hellfish which is classic that's a good uh hank scorpio yes classic good one that's right before they fell off yeah hullabalooza yeah which is great um there's so many good you forget how many like just quick jokes are packed in there i know um

like when homer's trying to sell uh i mean this might not just be a joke but just like ridiculous things that homer got away with like when it started to see like the relationship was actually kind of cartoony and he's like uh he's trying to sell the idea of him going on the road with hullabalooza she's like no you want to go on tour with a freak show it's like marge i have to he's like no you don't have to homer pauses and he goes marge you know you and i are just different people um yeah so uh yeah a lot a lot of good ones uh bart on the road when he has his fake license and all that stuff. Where they go to the wig. Yeah. I feel like that was kind of a little after the decline.

But it was still, like people say that, but there's still some good ones. Like Hank Scorpio was after that one. That's a classic one. Yeah, that's a good one. There's still some classics in there. All right, man. I think this is good.

Let's just wrap this thing up. We got this podcast in the can. I feel good about this one anything you want to talk about before we get out of here anything on your mind anything you want to ask me while you got me here what can I do to prove to you that war

is in a huge decline what do you mean like compared to like the medieval like compared to any other time in history like to like the 70s I don't know to the 70s to the, Compared to any other time in history. Like, to like the 70s, I don't know. To the 70s, to the 60s,

to the 50s. Send me some data, some scientifically reviewed data. I will. Okay. I actually have a column on it. Oh, you can send me your own research.

Great. No, it's not my research. It's my, my column with links to other people's research. Oh, over on what weekly? Yeah, but I don't think I'm writing for them anymore.

Why not? I don't think, well, the column just never happened, really. So I think I'm going to work on a book and keep writing for Skeptic. Oh, okay. Nice, nice, nice, nice, nice. Well, Mike, this was a nice little catch-up session. Yeah, I agree. On a Sunday night, we'll drop this thing tomorrow morning. Awesome. And then hopefully, this was a nice little catch-up session. Yeah, I agree. On a Sunday night.

We'll drop this thing tomorrow morning. Awesome. And then hopefully we'll have a guest next week. Cool. But these things are going to happen. Just a no-guest episode. Just you and I just catching up in the dark. Do you know how many people have told me that these are their favorite episodes?

Like three. Yeah, but that's a pretty good percentage. Somebody's listening. No, there's been multiple Dig Sesh listeners who've insisted that these are their favorite episodes, and even some that have requested that we exclusively do Mike and Josh episodes. Hey, God bless them.

And I call them my mom. No, I'm just kidding. Shout out to Miss Moran. I don't think that's her name anymore. No, it is. Well, is it? It's Moran. She didn't change it back.

No shit. Yeah, yeah. Why not? I don't know. I didn't change it back. No shit. Yeah, yeah. Why not? I don't know. I don't know. What did the new guy think about that? What new guy? She's not remarried.

Oh, you don't know, huh? Oh, boy. You have something you need to tell me? Let's just wrap this thing up. I just want you to call me dad from now on. That's what I'm getting at. Wow. He could have mentioned this earlier.

Yeah, but, you know, I want to feel it out, make it natural. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. Me and my new son, Mike Moran, and I are going to go play Catch in the Yard. We've got a lot of catching up to do. Yes, we do. I'll grab the rods. So, yeah.

So, everybody, thank you for listening. Come see us live. We're always doing a bunch of stand-up and improv. So, follow us on Twitter, too, because sometimes we'll post stuff that day as far as open mics and things like that that sometimes we don't post on the calendar. Stuff pops up to go see us live. Yes.

Go see us live. And check out my new website. Did I promote that at the beginning? MikeMoranComedy.com. Dot com. Dot com. And let's see here. Let's see.

Yeah. Live dates at digressionsessions.com slash calendar and past and future episodes see here. Let's see. Yeah. Live dates at digressionsessions.com slash calendar and past and future episodes are there. Give us a rating on iTunes or Stitcher. We would appreciate that.

Write a review. Follow us on Twitter. Just do all this stuff to prove that you love us. We need some love. Yeah. We really do. You know,

this is free. This is freaking free for you people. For you horrible people. Just toss us a bone. In the form of American currency. Yes. And a five-star review, a Twitter following.

I'm over 500 now. I'm into that. I'm into that. Let's keep that rolling. 500 clubs. I'm up there. I'm up there. Good for you.

And so, yeah, let's get it going. Let's get it going.'s get going let's do it i'm at better robot josh mike is at michael moran 10 the podcast is at dig such pod for all kinds of podcast updates and live dates and all that stuff so thank you for listening thanks everybody we love you love you bye bye yeah what did gabbo say when he thought the uh no no no he's like uh what he called the the audience he didn't say morons but you're so beast

gabbo for all so beast Pro Alé seu beijo. We'll be right back. Thank you. We'll be right back. We'll see you next time. Thank you.