The Digression Sessions - Ep. 134 - Digression Sessions Live w/ Ben O'Brien Chris LaMartina Brandon Wetherbee Tommy Sinbazo

Episode Date: September 29, 2014

Live Episode! Follow us on Twitter: Josh Kuderna - @BetterRobotJosh Mike Moran - @MichaelMoran10 Podcast Updates - @DigSeshpod   "Catching a Beer With The Comedy Boys"   Hola DigHeads! We have here our first ever live Digression Sessions recording! It was done during an all-Thunder Grunt Podcast Network night in Baltimore, and features some of our favorite folks sitting in, including comedian Tommy Sinbazo, filmmaker Chris LaMartina, fellow podcaster / writer / managing editor of  Brightest Young Things - Brandon Wetherbee, and comedian/director Ben O’Brian of Wham City Comedy.   This was a great time and we can’t wait to do it again! We talk all sorts of business, from Tommy’s construction of a Necromican, to Chris’ bachelor party at Hell House, to Brandon’s opinions on Bmore vs. DC, to Ben’s (once again) defense of eating raw chicken like’s it’s just ok.   Thanks to Rex Anderson and everyone that keep’s Thundergrunt rolling! Also, thanks to all the many new listeners Digression Sessions has recently picked up (we now chart on iTunes top comedy podcasts)! Expect big things from us in the future, we plan on keeping this wave rolling! Love you DigHeads!  

Hello. Hi. Welcome to the Digression Sessions podcast. Josh Koderna here. A quick little message up front. This is our first live podcast and we recorded it at the wind-up space here in lovely Baltimore, Maryland. And it was a part of a Thundergrunt night, which is our network, Thundergrunt podcast network. You can go to thundergrunt.com for all the other podcasts on our lovely network here. And yeah, this was our first live show. It was a ton of fun. The audio gets a little hot, as they say in the business, and some stuff kind of peaks, but it's still definitely listenable. And we had some really great guests. I know we're just coming off of the Pat Noswalt

episode, which I'm sure millions of people are familiar with that dude. And that was so fun. And if we have any new listeners from that episode and you're listening now, we really, really appreciate it. That was still a surreal experience, one of the highlights of my life, for sure. It was insane to sit down with a comedy hero. So thank you for listening to that. And thank you for the positive feedback. And yeah, if you're a new listener, this episode has some more people that are probably more well known in the Baltimore DC area, but it's still a very interesting episode. And hopefully you can stick with us on this one and get to know some really cool people in this

area that you may not have heard of. And hopefully we'll have on some bigger names. Next week we are going to have on Matt Walsh of Veep and one of the founding members of UCB. And he's in a ton of stuff. So that was a really fun interview too, and that will be up next week. But as far as this episode, we have some great guests. Chris LaMartina, he's a director, mostly of horror films. And his most recent film is Call Girl of Cthulhu,

which has been playing at a lot of festivals around the country. And hopefully it'll be out in the spring. And if you want to check out his other stuff, go to Midnight Crew Studios on Facebook. Check that out. Our other guest is Brandon Weatherby, the managing editor of brightestyoungthings.com, which is an arts and culture website here in the DC area. Well, no,

the website is available everywhere, I believe, I think. And he's also one of the producers of the Benson Ball, which our next guest, Mr. Ben O'Brien, who is a comedian and director as well in his own right. And he's a member of the Wham City Comedy Collective, which is an offshoot of the Wham City Collective, which is led by artist Dan Deacon from Baltimore. And Ben will be performing at the Lincoln Theater on October 5th at 6 p.m. with Reggie Watts as a part of the Benson Ball and hopefully, fingers crossed, we'll get Reggie Watts on the program. Yeah, so check that out.

Our last guest is Tommy Simbazzo, very funny comedian here in Baltimore. Go to TommySimbazzo.com for all of his upcoming dates. As far as the Benson Ball goes, I will be performing on that as well. Me, Josh Coderna. Let's see.

It will be October 4th, Saturday, October 4th at the Black Cat in D.C. at 9 p.m. A really great lineup. It's going to be a lot of fun, so come out to that. A bunch of fun shows all week. Go to BensonBall.com. And, yeah, so that's it. I just want to give a little preface and say thank you to everybody for listening, and hopefully you're sticking with us. You're like, all right, I like the patent episode.

I know who that is. Now let me see what this is about. So this is our first live episode, and we're trying to figure out the format and how to do it. So there's a little bit of crosstalk. Audio kind of peaks, gets a little hot. But overall, we had a lot of fun. And, yeah, thank you very much. So follow us on Twitter.

Check us out on our website, digressionsessions.com slash calendar. That is all of our upcoming dates as well. I'll be in D.C. this week doing some improv and stand-up. I'll be at the Loft on Wednesday the 1st. And then I will be doing an improv show in Silver Spring on Friday. So a bunch of opportunities to see me in the area. And follow me on Twitter and Instagram. I am at Better Robot Josh. Mike Moran is at Michael Moran 10. The podcast is at Dig Sesh Pod. We also have a Facebook page, Digression Sessions, facebook.com slash the

Digression Sessions. So that's it for the rambling intro. uh yeah thanks i i can't get over having patten on the podcast i think we're going to just keep mentioning it this is this is uh going to be a mile marker for the for the podcast so thank you so much everybody that listened and the positive feedback and uh yeah this has been great this has been fucking awesome so all right i think that's it now let's uh let's get into the show shall we let's get into this uh this little experiment and uh i love you bye-bye thunder grunt podcast network welcome to the digression sessions podcast Hey everybody I'm Josh Koderna And I'm Mike Moran

And you're listening to The Degression Sessions Podcast A Baltimore based comedy talk show Hosted by two young handsome Stand up comedians slash improvisers Join us every week As we journey through the world of comedy And the bizarreness

of existence. As we interview local and non-local comedians, writers, musicians, and anyone else we find creative and interesting. Yes.

Oh, yeah. Who's the guest this week? Everybody. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the first live digression session. Whoa. Thundergrunt. Oh, yeah. Huh? Yes. Whoa. Thundergrunt.

Oh, yeah. Huh? Yes. One more. One more. One more? Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Sorry. It's the first live podcast. We're working out the kinks. Working out the kinks. Working out the kinks. Yeah. We had Patton Oswalt on the show. Okay.

One fan. All right. Perfect. If the show doesn't go well, we'll just keep referencing that we had him on. Good enough for Patton. But Mike, Mike Moran, how the hell are you?

I'm well. Okay, good. Got a haircut. Looking nice. Yeah, I don't know what to do. I still don't really know what I look like, honestly. A handsome man, right, ladies? Oh, yeah! I was going to say, oh, stop, but then nobody said anything.

We'll edit that in in post. We'll edit that in in post. How are you doing, Josh? I'm doing pretty good, man. Doing pretty good. Pretty good? Really good. So you're lying. No. I'm doing pretty good, man. Doing pretty good. Pretty good? Really good. So you're lying.

No. I'm doing good. I'm having a fun time so far. What are you grilling me for? No, I'm just saying. You just changed your mind in like two seconds. All right. You could have been honest from the beginning.

You're right. You're right. I fucked up. I'm doing great. Woo! Okay. Okay. Going to edit in some cheers in post.

So we've been a podcast for like three years. Has it been three years? Yeah. It feels a lot longer. Yeah. Not a good sign. Not a good sign. No.

And so we have some pretty good reviews on iTunes. I think I wanted to start off with what some other people think of the show. Because this might be new to most people, our podcast. Sure. We have 26 five-star ratings. Pretty good, pretty good. So how many stars is that total? A million. And we have one two-star

rating, so that means we have 26 friends and some stranger listening to the show. And can I read you guys this bullshit two-star review? Can I read you this bullshit bullshit two-star review? Can I read you this bullshit? Please do. First of all, the name of her review is true to its name.

So we are a mess, apparently, just digressing all over the place. She left it on September 11th. No coincidence there. Never forget. Symbolic. So this is by J. Taddy. J. Taddy says, I live alone and used to use this podcast. It starts with

I live alone. She just wanted to make that clear. I am alone. Let me just preface this by saying that I'm terribly lonely. I live alone and used to use this podcast as background noise when things got too quiet.

Hey, a download's a download. You're right. You're right. That's a listen. They're like, suicide or let me see if they get Ben O'Brien this week. I'm going to check it out. I mean, you know, use it to drown out the screams of your abusive neighbors. I don't care.

Just download it. We're going to get stickers made that say that. That's good. Okay. Aside from that, the content just isn't there for me. The hosts are likable. Content. Yeah. Then she says the hosts are likable,

which is good. That's great. I enjoy comedy, but... I'd rather be feared than liked, but go on. Okay. I enjoy comedy, but am by no means obsessed with it, so most of these people I have never heard of. She sounds pretty obsessed, I have to say. She is pretty obsessed. I personally was hoping for something more evenly paced and akin to a comedy skit,

but if you want to feel like you're grabbing a beer with the comedy boys and just hanging out for a couple hours, A beer with the comedy boys. Yeah're grabbing a beer with the comedy boys and just hanging out for a couple hours, this is the podcast. A beer with the comedy boys. Yeah. Having a beer with the comedy boys. How y'all doing? Not good enough for J. Taddy, but maybe you assholes, right? Can we give J. Tang a call?

J. Tang? What did you say, J? J. Taddy. J. Taddy, sorry. No, she did not leave a phone number. She did not leave a phone number. She did not leave a phone number. So yeah, I liked it. She's like, I was kind of hoping it would be a comedy skit.

Like, we've never advertised that we are a sketch show. And she's like, well, fuck them. I mean, that's what I thought I was getting. Well, you know. Yeah. So J. Taddy is our first guest. Get up here. Nope.

It's one of our mothers. Just not happy with the show. Not happy. You want to bring up our first guest? Absolutely. Do you want to bring up our first guest? You guys ready for our first guest? You guys ready for your first guest?

Yeah! Thundergrunt, huh? Guest number one. He's a gentleman. This guy is a director. He gets the most likes on Facebook out of anybody I've ever seen. Give it up for Mr. Chris LaMartina! It's all good.

It's all good. Yeah. Yeah. Steal my clothes. Take a seat, you son of a bitch. How are you? Hey, Chris. I was going to steal your joke book, Mike.

I'm sorry. Don't do that. Don't steal Hey, Chris. I was going to steal your joke book, Mike. I'm sorry. Don't do that. Don't steal that. Chris, do most people out there know who Chris LaMartina is? You guys friends with him on Facebook? Nice. You're not friends with him? How many people have been blocked by Chris LaMartina?

Wow, you have three creepy stalkers up front, Chris. Okay. You're waving on an audio podcast. That's cool. That's cool. You're a director. You should know better. That's alright. He's not doing shadow puppets, folks. I don't do radio. I'm sorry. Well, this is a podcast.

Okay. So yeah, let me just say you're one of the most smiley guys I know. And you have a great laugh. Look at that. Oh, look at that. Can you describe my smile for the podcast listeners? It's just a bunch of rainbows shooting out of his mouth.

This guy. So handsome. There's an American flag waving inside. Yeah. I don't know how he fits it in there. But sorry, ladies. He's taken. Nobody's mad about that. Nobody's mad about that. Now doing obscene hand gestures. But no, on Facebook, you will post,

you post a lot of nice stuff, a lot of exciting stuff, but Chris will be like, God, I had a solid BM. I love my city and my friends. It's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Wow. How do you do it? Three million likes.

How do I get solid BMs? Well, you gotta eat a lot of fiber. Okay. All right. We had Pat and Oswald. Keep it up gotta eat a lot of fiber. Okay. All right. We had Pat Oswald. Keep it up there. Keep it up there. We want to hear that laugh.

It's part of you now. Don't you cover that thing up. It's like a Viagra commercial. How is it like a Viagra commercial? He said, keep it up. Let's see, you got it.

All right, we've got our first food 10 minutes in. All right, let's get serious. Yeah, let's get real. We had Patton Oswalt on the podcast. I took some pictures, got like 100 likes. Pretty good, pretty good.

The absolute worst picture of me ever taken, by the way, too. Hey, man. Hey, sorry. He retweeted it to like a million people. 1.8 million. Yeah. And it's literally the worst picture of me ever. Nah. That's terrible.

But it can only go up from here, you know? Stop with the Viagra jokes. But you literally, Chris, you just took a picture with him. You got 5,000 likes. I think it was like 500. And I was like, we talked to him for an hour. Like, who cares? It's Chris. He's smiling.

He's smiling. And you actually talked to him. I literally just was like, hey, dude, can I hour. Like, who cares? It's Chris. He's smiling. He's smiling. And you actually talked to him. I literally just was like, hey, dude, can I be a total asshole and take a picture with you? Yeah. And he said, yeah, absolutely. You demeaned him and got more likes than us? Well, I demeaned myself. Self-deprecation.

Sure. That's how you get the likes. Hey. You hearing that, fellas? All right. He's going to get married soon. You excited about that? Absolutely.

It's like the best. Is she here? Yeah, she's right there. Of course. The lucky lady. Did you going to get married soon. You excited about that? Absolutely. It's like the best. Is she here? Yeah, she's right there. Of course. The lucky lady? Yeah. He was looking right at a lady up front. Absolutely.

I hope so. I'm very excited. They are treating me well here. You just had a bachelor party. I did. It was awesome. What happened? So we went out.

We got burgers and beers. That's like the boring stuff. But then after that, we got a late night that's like the boring stuff but then after that we went to we got a late night catacomb tour of Westminster Cemetery where Edgar Allan Poe

is buried so that was really cool and they don't even do them at night my best man Jimmy George my producing partner he organized that

and he did a kick ass job and then we took the bus this fucking ridiculous party bus to Ellicott City and we went to yeah

woo and we went to Yeah! Woo! And we went to wine tasting. No, we actually We turned up the radio to six. It was so wild. We got loose. No, we actually went to the This is actually equally as stupid,

but I think it's adorable. We went to the old Hell House steps, because that has significance in my filmography. What are the Hell House steps? So Hell House was an old... It was a rectory at one point. In Ellicott City, it's the stuff of folklore around there. Oh, yeah, I've heard about this. And it was a rite of passage when I was a kid.

Everyone in Keynesville, Ellicott City... Would take a party bus to Hell House. Exactly. It was a really expensive right of passage. But like you would go up to these there's like 70 stone steps that lead up to this old, now

it's totally gone now, it's just a pile of bricks, but it was an old burnt out rectory. And the legend goes that there was this old guy named Rufus. And this is actually true. This guy Rufus was the groundskeeper there and he had these dogs, and they called him the hounds of hell. But the way people, my brother described him, maybe this is, I don't know where this is

going. My brother described him as Jesus gone bad is what the guy looked like. Right. Like Satan. Satan. Like Satan. Exactly. Lucifer.

But basically, you would go up there, and you'd get chased out by dogs. Because the guy was a groundskeeper that would chase people off his property. His name is Rufus. He's like, you get out of my shithouse. It's hellhouse. I mean, hell, hellhouse.

It was actually George Carlin from Bill and Ted. Right, right. No, but the true story about it was he shot a kid in the face. No way. On Halloween night, 2000. I think year 2000, yeah. No way.

Dude, that's actually traceable. And he's dead? I think he's in yeah. No way. Dude, that's actually traceable. And he's dead? I think he's in prison. No, the kid? The kid who shot in the face? Nah, he got shot in the face and lived to tell the tale. Brandon Weatherby, get up here now. People survive bullet holes to the face.

Do they? Yeah, absolutely. You said boils to the face? Yes. Bullet holes. Bullet holes. I thought you were saying, okay, like herpes or something. Anyway, sorry sorry keep going so like you know

I'm 29 years old last Saturday night in the middle of the woods I was running up these hell house steps with a cigarette in one hand and a beer can in the other with you know

15 of my closest friends and a belly full of sugar candies just going wild I ate a couple milk duds yeah you had to lie to your fiance like you didn't have any milk duds like no I didn't have couple milk duds. Yeah, you had to lie to your fiance. Like, you didn't have any milk duds. Like, no, I didn't have any milk duds. Yes.

Yeah. Our relationship is so open. It's like the only thing I lie about is candy and digestion. Yeah. Christopher, if I come home and catch you with more hot tamales, it's over. She knows you're lying because I don't like spicy foods. Oh, you don't? Is there a hot tamale spicy?

I also made a few hot tamales on a burrito and you're out. Keep a handful in case you get mugged on the way home. Well, like throw them. Yeah, like pepper spray. Pepper tablets. Or chew them up and spit them.

So the clock struck 9.30, and then you guys went home. What happened after? Did your mom pick you up? No, we actually went back to my parents' house, and they made us pancakes in the morning. No, I'm just kidding. That's not true. Duck hunt all night?

But the gun never worked. No, yeah, I guess we wrapped around pretty early for a bachelor party, probably 1 a.m., then we went back home, and then Justin Getka took a piss on the side of a building in Foothill. It was great. Nice. Wild, wild boys. Wow.

What did your fiancé do? Something similar? I feel like I shouldn't talk for you. That's true. I mean, you can come up. She had like an old school like... No ladies on stage, all right? No ladies.

Unless you're a white straight male, you get the fuck off. It's only 2014. It's not like it's 2020 or anything. Yeah, okay. This isn't the future. They had like an old school like ladies sleepover. Ladies sleepover? Yeah.

Wow, you guys are playing it. I'll try to not get turned on by that. Try to not be turned on by that. Yep, my lady built a fort and I just got in a bus. That's excellent, man. So how is... It was one of them like toy parties, was it?

Tupperware party? No, no, no. They had Legos and stuff, but not... Okay, cool. I'm just kidding. That's not true. You know, before I got up here, Bob Rose was literally like,

don't talk about yourself at all. No matter what you do, don't talk about yourself at all. What were you planning? I have no clue. Great advice. I was going to talk about math problems or something, or like the news.

This is really, really... I try to say Israeli. Fuck it. I was going to talk about math problems or something, or like the news. This is really, really, I try to say Israeli. Fuck it. It's over. Look, JTatty was right. We're shit. We're terrible. Tell me about Call Girl of Cthulhu. How's that going? You guys got to a bunch of festivals and all that? A fuck ton of festivals. I mean, literally

through November, there's not a weekend where we're not playing out of state somewhere. Nice. That's awesome. Do you go to those? Melissa and I are going to San Diego in about two weeks. We just came back from Syracuse, New York last week. We can't go to all the festivals

we're playing mostly because they're so far away that if we bought all the airfare, it would be bonkers money. It's really cool. It's really awesome to hang out and watch a movie with a crowd of people that have no relationship to you. And just seeing it mostly because of a title or a concept, that's really neat. Right.

Hell yeah. Yeah. Let's talk about the casting of that movie, if we could. Nick Oldershaw knows what's coming. When you were casting this movie, you were like, hey, man, listen, I'm doing this movie, you were like, hey man, listen. I'm doing this movie. I think you'd be perfect for the guy. You're just like,

you should do it. And I was like, I don't really have any acting. You're like, look man, you're funny. You got this. I show up to the audition. I see Nick Oldershaw there. A kid that looks kind of similar to me. Tells me the same goddamn story. Wow. I'm a little jealous that I didn't get this story.

Yeah, you just had to jerk me off. Again? Moran's like, damn. Okay, that's not true, guys. It was a blowjob. Yeah. Okay, so anyway. It's true.

I will say this about the casting process. One of the things I think is interesting about casting films is like when you cast movies or anyone who acts, everyone, more so than any other job audition, everyone wants you to succeed in a casting call more than anything else because that makes our job easier. So if you come in and nail an audition, it's like, oh, sweet, we can design and cast this guy. What do you mean more than college? More than they want you to succeed at college? Teachers don't care.

More than anything. Their salary doesn't change whether you pass a course or not. All right, fuck it. It's political. Let's not talk about Israeli conflicts. I thought both Josh and Nick Aldershot did fantastic auditions. No, it was terrible. But when the PA that got the role auditioned, he did fantastic.

Yup, yup. So thanks for casting me, man. I appreciate you coming in so you could be like, oh, definitely not him. But it was just so funny. I ran into Chris. I would see him at bars and stuff, and he'd have a couple drinks and be like, dude, just come in. It's like a formality. It's basically yours. I did not say that!

I'll suck your dick. It's alright. I'll do it. Whatever. I'm diabetic. Those were his words. His words. It's actually on my business card. I'm diabetic. I'll suck your dick.

Go see my movie. Talks about his diabetes more than Wilford Brimley. Wears a sleeveless shirt just to show off that pod thing on your arm? What are you? I know. Come on. Come on. What's the next project for you?

The next project? I don't know. We're actually sort of, I mean, the next project is the wedding, realistically. And who stars in that? Once again, my lead actress is Melissa. Nice. Lots of gore. Careful.

Did he tell you the role role if he told you the role is yours I would be worried be very worried be very worried there's gonna be other women there so no

I mean like we have a couple things that are going on and I feel like it's too premature to probably talk about them okay are we talking about

a child here but you're not answering the question. So, yes or no? She's drinking for two. God bless you. God bless you. Thanks for coming.

That's how we like to start the Thunder Girl night off. Drunk babies. Birth defects. No, I mean, right now, we have something we're working on. It's sort of a... Oh, man, I shouldn't talk about it. No. Give us one word

to describe it. One word? Yes. Mike became your dad already. He's like, just what is it? I don't know. How do I wrap my head around that thing you do? It's just sufficiently stupid. Viral.

Three words. Like a subtitle type of thing. Yeah. Viral. Viral. Three words. What? To this girl. Like a subtitle type of thing. Yeah. Like the tag. It's like, this is sufficiently stupid. Call Girls Cthulhu Part 2.

Perfect. Call Girls. It's like aliens. Yeah. It's just like aliens. Okay. Just give us a potential tagline for this film that you won't name. If you were to give it on the box art,

like, the man of your dreams or something like that, what would that be? And don't use that one. A Josh Kadernas story, right? I don't fucking know, man. Usually the title and the tagline come immediately for me. That's how I write all my screenplays. Those are the first two things.

And then you just build around that. Fuck. I can't. Yeah, I don't know. I'm done. How about this? Chris is going to stay up here, so maybe you can figure it out eventually. I hope so, yeah. Alright, guys, give it up for Chris LaMartina. Alright, we're going to bring up our next guest. He is the brains

behind BrightestYoungTthings.com. He's putting together the Benson Ball, a big, huge comedy festival that's taking place in D.C. Toss that out into the audience. Just going to toss something out in the audience, just cut somebody's cornea. That's a good way to start the podcast. Very interesting, nice dude, hilarious fella. Give it up for Mr. Brandon Weatherby. Come on, give it up, give it up, Give it up for Mr. Brandon Weatherby! Come on.

Give it up. I like how we don't stand for the guests. Nah. Well, at home we're standing. I'll just convince him of that. Brandon? Yes, sir. You live in D.C., right? I do. And what does that stand for? I don't know.

It stands for shithole, I bet, you piece of fuck. I agree completely. What are you doing there? What do you think, you're better than us? What journalists live in D.C.? You suck, idiot. It's not even a state. I agree.

I'm just recreating when I was on Brandon's podcast for the first time. He's like, Baltimore? What's the deal with that? I was like, that's where I live? He's like, all right. And our next guest. Well, why do you live here? I like this city. I went to

school here. I met my lady here. I got Chris LaMartina here. Do comedy here. You could do all those things in other places. Even Chris travels a lot. You don't know that. You do not know that. Oh, I know that. You don't know that. I do. I have confidence in you. Name one other place you could possibly do those things. Annapolis. No. Yeah, I would not go to Annapolis. Oh, I know that. You don't know that. I do. I have confidence in you. Name one other place you could possibly do this.

Annapolis. No. Yeah, I would not go to Annapolis. No, for Annapolis? Philadelphia. Never heard of it. That's fair. I like your city.

I do. I really enjoy your city. No, you don't. Yes, I do. Do you agree that it's the greatest city in America? No, it's Chicago. Chicago is the greatest city in America. Have you seen our park pictures?

Of course you're going to boo me. I'm the only one that has the balls to say what the truth is. You ever been to Cockeysville? I haven't been to Cockeysville. I would love to go to Cockeysville. So you don't know, bro. Andy Nelson's barbecue. Sounds good.

Yeah, you don't know shit. That's fair. You haven't been to Cockeysville. I don't know shit areas. That's correct. Whoa. This is the first podcast that's going to end with a hanging, I think. Not by me, Brandon.

I love you, but the crowd probably. Oh, I get that. The crowd. Well, I was warned by no less than five people in the last hour that maybe I shouldn't take the train home because everyone apparently gets stabbed in this city. So that was the last hour of my text messages. Not everybody gets stabbed.

That's what I was saying. But they all text me. Some people get shanked. Some people get choked. I don't really like you painting us into a corner like that. I didn't paint anything. One more than that. Some people get beaten with pipes.

Anyways, I agree. I think it's a perfectly wonderful place. No, I like D.C. It's cool. I wasn't saying D.C. is a perfectly wonderful place. No, it's not. Don't come to D.C. It's horrible.

Don't come there. Why is it horrible? It's horrible. It's nerd prom 365 days a year. It's not. Don't come to D.C. It's horrible. Don't come there. Why is it horrible? It's horrible. It's nerd prom 365 days a year. It's horrible. All of your debate team captains from around the country go there and now rent's incredibly high. It's as much of New York without any of the benefits. It's a horrible place.

Don't go there. Public transportation, right? You don't have to own a car, do you? You don't need to own a car. That's true. That's like the greatest thing ever. Do you need to own a car in Baltimore? Yes.

Oh, okay. Yeah, you can't get anywhere. Public transportation is terrible. I thought you couldn't get anywhere. Public transportation is terrible. I thought you can get around here pretty easily. All right, Brandon, tell me about Brightest Young Things. Well, we're a public transportation website. Oh, great. Yeah, it's pretty great.

Great. No, no, we're a website that people like to shit on, and I get that. It's easy to shit on the site. I get that. It's like the Baltimore of websites. It is the Baltimore of websites. Whoa. It's like the Baltimore of DC.

Michael, what are you doing? You're betraying our beloved city. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I didn't say anything about Cockeysville. Brightest young things. It's an arts and culture magazine. We publish 16 articles a day.

There's one magazine feature every day. And we highlight comedy and people that are funny like you. Hey, stop it. Like Josh and Mike funny like you. Like you, Josh. Hey, stop it. Okay. Like Josh and... And Mike. Right. Thank you. Because Josh is performing at the festival and Mike contributed to our comedy guide.

So we do a lot of comedy stuff. We do a lot of art stuff. We do a lot of theater stuff, music, et cetera. It's a website. Uh-huh. It's a website. Tell me about this Benson Ball. The Benson Ball started when I didn't live in this fair city.

Did it really? No. It started in 2009 when I lived in Chicago. No shit. I miss Chicago dearly. I wish I was there, except for right now. Look, Chicago's not here. It's not going to suck your dick.

No, I am very glad to be here. As far as I know, no Andy Nelsons. This is a close second. This is a close second. It kind of does feel like Chicago. I like this place a lot. It's a comedy festival. It goes for five days, and it's Tic Notaro's Comedy Festival.

And you and some of the other people that are on the bill tonight, and some of the people that are in the room, will be at that festival. Yeah, October 4th at the Black Cat, 9 p. Yeah. And you and some of the other people that are on the bill tonight and some of the people that are in the room will be at that festival. Yeah. October 4th at the Black Cat, 9 p.m. I'll be performing. You and I will be at that. Yeah. And then it starts October 1st and it runs through the 5th.

Wham! City is on the October 5th show with Reggie Watts. Yeah. So that's the... Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's a crazy thing. You have...

The inventor of the light bulb. You have so many big people coming to DC. It's nuts. We got Rob Corddry, Wyatt Cenac, Rosie fucking O'Donnell. Why are you so excited about her? What am I supposed to do with that? She throws koosh balls. Caroline Ray was the only real host of that show, if you ask me.

I'm with you. Ben Cronberg. Did they was the only real host of that show, if you ask me. I'm with you. Ben Cronenberg. Did they change the name to the Caroline Ray show? Of course. The Rosie and Donald show featuring Caroline Ray. No, they changed it. I had a big crush on Caroline Ray as a kid. Really?

Yeah, I think I had an aunt issue. Caroline Ray was incredibly attractive to me, and Bonnie Hunt. Do you remember Bonnie Hunt? Yeah, they're almost a weird term. I don't know why I love those women so much. They're interchangeable, I think. No, they're not. They're both. I don't know why I love those women so much. They're interchangeable. No, they're not. They're both unique flowers. Let's go back to your aunt issue. Yeah, I didn't

really have a family, so it makes sense that I would gravitate towards motherly figures that aren't mothers. Sure. That's it. I nailed it. I went to therapy. I get it. I already talked this out. I'm good. I'm confident with who I am. I'm married. I'm done. I can talk about shit. Whatever. Who gives a shit? It's fine. Holes sometimes match, and sometimes stuff that doesn't have a hole goes with stuff that

does have a hole. And sometimes not. It doesn't matter. Everybody comes. It's fine. Consensual's key. The end. That's it.

And I'm saying me and Caroline are in an alternate universe. I think we can make it work. Me and Bonnie Hunt would be pretty cool. We'd have a golden retriever together. We probably wouldn't have kids, but we would watch over her sister's kids or something like that. She seems like a nice lady. I like her. I like family. Guys, I'm passionate.

That's what I'm trying to say. I completely derail the Benson Balls, a comedy festival. So John Hodgman. Todd Berry. Are you going to have kids? I would like to have kids in the next five years. Oh, really? Thank you so much.

I appreciate that. You're helping my wife breed. One gal up front like, yeah! I'm into it. Yeah, I think so. How many? No more than two. Okay.

Do you want Chris LaMartina to have kids? If he's comfortable with it and his partner is comfortable with it. What if they're not? If they're not, then they should definitely not have children. Because science works. You don't need to have things you don't want anymore. It's lovely.

Yeah, it is pretty sweet. That being said... That's the only thing he's ever said that I actually agree with, so I'm done. No, no, no, no, no. Let's...

No, no, no. I don't have to have smallpox anymore. Wow. It took abortion for you two guys to get into it. God bless.

I've complimented your city. Who says it's no good? This time, Brandon, this time... People change, man. I've complimented your city. Who says it's no good? This time, Brandon. This time. People change, man. Let's have another screaming competition. Oh, wanted...

Did you guys... I think you and I had a screaming competition. Did you and I... All right. Everybody's talking at the same time. Let me take care of this.

You challenged him. You challenged Chris to a screaming contest, Brandon. That is right. You did your podcast in this very venue, the wind-up space. And you're like, hey, Chris, you're in a band. Do you want to have a scream-off?

I think I won. I think I did. Are we about to recreate a scream-off? I really don't want to. No, I'm too drunk for that. Well, actually, that should be the time you do it. I'm now married, and you're engaged. I don't think it's appropriate anymore. That's a young man. People never scream when they're in committed relationships.

That's a single man's game, man. You go to a horror tour. Who's married? No one. That's a young man's game. You're telling me there's a correlation between men screaming and not being married. 100% yes. So what, the testosterone drops? No, there's zero reason to scream into the ether.

Oh, because screaming gets you a lot of chicks. No, opposite. Screaming is getting out the aggression that you can't find a mate. It's the opposite of a mating call. Did you get married after we did that podcast? I think I got married here the next night, actually. Wow, she heard you scream?

I know. That was your mating call? You're like, wow, you're much better than that Baltimore boy. Yeah. It was between me and him. He didn't know it. It was great. Nice, nice.

So you have a podcast. You meet them, everybody. Why are you laughing at that? How is that funny? Actually, what are we going to do? Talk about screaming for nine hours? I got to move on here. Yeah, it's a show.

I do a show. We do shows. You do shows. It's fun. Tell me about your shows, buddy. It's fun. I get to meet people. I want your fucking board.

It's all good. That's so good. I want that. I don't have a board. Yeah. It's a late night style show, so I dress up in a suit and people make fun of me. Except in D.C. where I just blend the fuck in. It's lovely. And there's always

a guest, a comic, a band, and then in between there's occasionally sketches. It's very, very fun. Who does the sketching? I don't know. Depends on the guest. It's fun. I'm trying to think of another word besides fun because that adjective means nothing anymore. You've been on the show.

You've been on the show. I've been on the show. You have not been on the show. You've been on the show. I've been on the show. You have not been on the show. Yes, I have. When were you on the show? I think the same time Josh was. Wasn't I? A few years ago?

No. Or was I just there? You were there. No, I was on it. I was fucking on it. Were you? Yeah, it was very memorable. I've been doing the show for six years

and I've had over a thousand guests. Wasn't I on it? I don't think you were on it. You both were on it. I know that. All right, this has become like a fever dream. Like, nah, man, you were there. I was there.

I don't know. Maybe. I just did a show in Portland last week, so I just got back from Portland. Yeah? What's going on in Portland? Everyone in the room should follow Curtis Cook. He's the funniest comic in Portland,

and no one should go to Portland because everything Portlandia does is correct. It's spot the fuck on. That's a horrible city. Don't go to Portland. Go to Seattle if you want that area. Where did you grow up? Chicago.

Chicago. You're a geography snob. I am. Blatantly, I am. Yes. Yeah? A hundred percent. When did you move to Maryland?

Yeah, what brought you to Baltimore? No. Why did you move to D.C.? Because my wife is a journalist. My wife is a journalist, so I had to. My wife? What did she write for?

All right, guys. She writes for Politico, which is the most... That's awesome. ...the most, like, journal-y type of... That's not a word. I realized why

while I said it. That's how they advertise. Give me your wife, Brandon. I bet she could come up with a good text. How do you mean? Seriously? We used to DJ together

in Chicago bars. We played Chicago music together, and we were editors of the newspaper in the radio studio. Hold on, hold on. We have a shout-out to our sponsor, Panasonic. Okay, never mind. Never mind. All right.

Brandon. Get on with those shadow animals. Brandon, I know you guys. I can do Abe Lincoln. This is really good for the podcast. All right, here comes a visual gag. It's too low. No one could see it.

No one could see it. Stand up. No one could see it. That looks and sounds nothing like Abe Lincoln. There you go. Which Abe Lincoln are you talking about? That's Abe Lincoln if maybe he lived to be 104 and his face collapsed on itself. Chris LaMartina is doing a hand puppet.

It looks like a bunch of dicks that are talking. Chris, how many drinks have you had that you're doing hand puppets, shadow puppets actually, not even hand puppets, shadow puppets on an audio podcast? How many? You're drinking beer. You're drinking Natty Bo. I hate to say it, but J. Taddy was right.

J. Taddy. Never forget. J. Tats. Brandon, I know you've got to get back to the city you love, D.C. Fuck you. Okay, cool, man. Thanks for... No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I do have to catch a train. I do not love that city. I think Baltimore is a better place. Really? Wow. I don't... Wow. That's not pandering.

That's just reality. I'm serious. It would be great if then you're like, and Joe Flacco is the fucking man. Would you say wrong crowd? Yes, she's right. Big ups to the guy from Rock. Yeah.

And the Baltimore Rock Opera Society. Woo! more rock opera society. All right. All you fuckers better vote for us. SR-71 in the house. Are they from here? Yeah. Oh, boy.

I'm sorry. Actually, I think they're from Cockeysville. It's that local humor everyone's been digging. Good job. You got to bring it in there. I was really great to be on Grabbing Beers with the Comedy Fellows,

so I appreciate you letting me be on here. How about being on our podcast? That's what I just said. I know. I'm kidding. That's the name of your show. Never mind. That's the official name of your show.

And three, two, one, start again. Okay, perfect. Ha, ha, ha, ha. That's for a cut, cut, and post. Yeah, there. Ha ha ha ha. That's for a cut and post. Yeah, there. I am loving these ladies up front. We have five ladies and then a dude that looks like Thor up front.

I'm feeling it. We got a good crowd up here. Good crowd. Brandon, do you want to hang out for a few minutes? It's a quarter of nine. I have four minutes before I have to leave. You have four minutes? You can help us with our next guest for four minutes. How about that? It's probably less of nine. I have four minutes before I have to leave. You have four minutes? All right. You can help us with our next guest for four minutes. How about that? It's probably less than that now.

Okay. For three minutes and some change. This next guy is a part of the Wham City comedy. Tori, a very funny guy. He does stand-up. He'll be at the Benson Ball on October 5th. Yes. And with Reggie Watts where?

Lincoln Theater. Lincoln Theater. So come check that out. Make some noise for our next guest, Mr. Ben O'Brien. Yeah. Hello. Ben O'Brien. I am here. Ben O'Brien

everybody. Let him hear it one more time. Hello. Give it up. What's up, guys? Now, Ben, I understand you got something ramped up recently. Oh, you were talking ramped up style? No, no, no. We were, for those out there in the audience, we were like, what are we going to talk about on stage and how am I going to tee you up for stories?

And that would be literally the worst way I could tee you up for a story. So it's a nice inside joke that no one gets. That no one else gets. No one's going to get. Ben, very funny stand-up. And you run with the Wham City crew. Dan Deacon and all those other Nutty Nuts

as they like to be called. That was the original title for Wham City. Nutty Nuts City. they like to be called. That was the original title for Wham City. The Nutty Nuts. Nutty Nuts City. NuttyNutsCity.com was taken. It was taken by a bunch of squirrels. Let's do B.O.B. and the Nutty Nuts.

They could have went.net. Let's just change it. Dan and the Nutty Nuts. Ben, when did you start doing stand-up? That's always a hard question. It shouldn't be that hard. It is, though, because it's kind of like I've been off and on with stand-up for many, many years. Right. And we kind of went serious like a couple years ago, you know?

So it's like I've been going up. Did you guys move in together? We were like, yeah, we're living together. You're going to put a ring on it and go to the Hell House before you do? Exactly. We're going to run up some steps, piss on a couple houses. Hell yeah. You know.

Wait, wait, wait. Really quick. You didn't say that they pissed on the house. You said they pissed in a house. Oh, no, no. He pissed inside a building in Federal Hill today. I thought it was just a toilet. Just a Fed Hill building.

By the way, nuttynutcity.com is not taken. Oh, thank you for checking. Oh, dude, they gave it up. You got to hop on that. Okay, all right. You got to hop on that. I get it. But Nut City is, guys.

I've got a Google alert for nuttynutcity.com. Chris is very familiar with nutcity.com. So, yeah, so you started doing stand-up, and then when did you fall in with them Wham City boys, them Nutty Nuts? I went to college with the Nutty Nuts City boys, and we got really tight in college. Yeah. And then they moved to Baltimore in 2004.

Them Nutty Nuts! And I had to keep going to college because of the way college works. Right. And so I had to continue doing that, and luckily I graduated. Hey, congratulations, this guy. Woo! Made it. Stay in school, you guys.

He matriculated, motherfucker. That's right. 2006, but I still want to be congratulated for it. Mr. Weatherby? He wasn't lying. Nutcity.com is a website. You can't get Nutcity.com. I know. He wasn't lying. Nutcity.com is a website. You can't get Nutcity.com. I know.

Why would I ever get Nutcity.com? Why would you accuse us of lying? We're the Nutty Nut City boys. Why would we get Nutcity.com? He said Nutty Nut City boys. We don't take kindly to you Nutty Nut City boys around these parts. Yeah, and that's why we changed it to Wham City. Right.

That's natural, right? Yeah. So, yeah, I went to college. I went out to Oakland for a couple of years to find myself. And did you? No. No, I just went out there for a few years because I wanted to get as far away from the East Coast.

Actually, we used to visit Wham City like when it was a warehouse space in 2005. And I was, and it was terrifying. It in 2005. And it was terrifying. It was like stabbing knives into walls. It was like Hell House. People are just doing that? Do you think they're just trying to be weird? Oh, we're really artistic. Oh, Ben's coming to the stairs.

Stab, stab, stab. They would MySpace message me and be like... Oh, that's weird as it is. It wasn't weird. It was awesome. Yeah, don't they know about Ello? Yeah, bro, you didn't get invited to Ello or whatever the fuck that is. In 2007 terms, that's pretty awesome.

Now, were these MySpace pages pimped? They were absolutely pimped. Like, it had these dancing letters and shit. Oh, hell yeah. They go from italics to not italics over and over again.

Did you make the top five? Top eight! Journalism, motherfucker. Thank you, Brandon. Brandon put his mic down like, yeah, motherfucker, that's what's up. Dude, don't you have to go? Yeah, we do have to go,

but this isn't about MySpace. Whose space is it about? Can we bring up to go. But this isn't about MySpace. So what I'm saying... Whose space is it about? Can we bring up Ben's PowerPoint on MySpace, please? No. It's what I'm... So they'd be like... They'd message me and be like,

dude... It'd be like 8 in the morning. They're like, we've been partying for 40 hours straight. And stuff like that. Really? For some reason, I thought that going to Baltimore meant...

Living in Baltimore meant I had to live like that. It does. I didn't for some reason, I thought that going to Baltimore meant... Living in Baltimore meant I had to live like that. It does. I didn't, for some reason, put together that there's people who just live in apartments. Right. That is just like... You thought it was just like this wasteland of warehouse spaces. For some reason, I was like, oh, I can't go live there. I'll fucking...

I'll die. But I was like, so I'll just go to Oakland for... And then I realized that that was weird. Let's say goodbye to Brandon Weatherby, everybody. Bye, Brandon. Thank you.

Youngthings.com, Benson Ball. Bye. Thank you so much, man. Thank you. And then I realized that I, that,

that was, that it would, that Baltimore was better in the sense that it had this great artistic community, which I couldn't find on the West Coast. And I, I moved here in 2008, and I've been literally here ever since. Literally on the wind-up space. I've been on the stage at wind-up space. I actually got off the stage just to get back on it for you guys.

I appreciate that. It's the first time in years. It's not how many times you get off. It's how many times you get back on. That's right. That's right. Now, let me ask you this. It's always about how many times you get off. It's how many times you get back on. That's right. That's right. Now, let me ask you this. It's always about how many times you got off.

Yeah, nutcity.com it is. Boom. Them nutty nut boys. You know what I'm talking about. I feel like Ben's here. Ben, while you were out in Oakland, were you eating raw chicken and shit, you weirdo? I was.

What the fuck's up with that? This is something we ask everybody about. I forgot to ask Chris. I, well, you struck gold. I used to eat raw meat. Are you being serious? I'm being absolutely serious. By audience applause, is that weird to eat raw chicken? That's weird, right?

Does Dr. Oz tell you? That's not something you get audience applause for. What are you trying to do? I'm just, I'm like the worst. I'm the worst comic just pointing out stuff like, y'all be cooking your chicken, right? Round of applause. Oh, yeah.

Hell, yeah, me too. So what's up with Israel? I just didn't know. Make some noise if you're not down with E. coli. They're totally down with it. They are. They really are. A lot of E. coli heads out there. All right, so why are you eating raw chicken, bro? I just didn't know you had down with it. They really are. A lot of E. coli heads out there.

All right, so why are you eating raw chicken, bro? I just didn't know you had to cook it. There's a lot of stuff you didn't know. You're like Baltimore parties until they die. People pleaded with me not to do it, but I did. Yeah, why are you eating raw chicken? It's one of those questions. No, it's not.

We all have to look at that at some point in our lives. Why do any of us eat anything? You know what I mean? There comes a time in every man's life when he has to look in the mirror and say, why am I eating raw chicken? Exactly. I believed that it was better for you. How?

Literally, just how? It's a good question. I mean, I would still eat it right now. I just don't. Well, let's bring out our next guest. Uncooked. No. I just don't. Well, let's bring out our next guest. Uncooked. No. With a big plate.

Yeah. No. Why do you think it's better for you? Why do I think? I don't. I. Because. It was this really intense experience I had in Los Angeles when I was.

What? When I was like 23 I just met all these people who did it and were like it's cured my like this and that like and there it is my wrist used to pop not anymore yeah exactly

you don't hear a fucking thing exactly and and there's like a whole community of people out there that did it. And then I started just doing it. Very sweet. Chris's fiance just brought him a beer. And so I did it, I guess.

So that's all it took was like nine people in L.A. to be like, yeah, bro, it's good for you. You're like, okay. Yeah, pretty much. If any nine people in L.A. tell me anything and they seem really sure, I'll do it. That's why I don nine people in L.A. tell me anything, and they seem really sure, I'll do it. Okay. Cocaine. That's why I don't live in L.A. Okay.

Wow. But are you still consuming raw things? You get raw milk from a bunch of weirdo hippies? I do raw milk, and I do raw eggs every day. I've been doing that for about nine years. All right. John DeCampos is a fan of raw eggs. He doesn't cook his milk. That's what I'm saying. Raw milk. I want you to know, I've been doing that for about nine years. All right. John DeCampos is a fan of raw eggs. He doesn't cook his milk.

That's what I'm saying. Raw milk. I want you to know, I've probably eaten hundreds of pounds of raw chicken and never gotten sick. And I've probably eaten thousands of raw eggs and never ever gotten sick. Yeah, but you're still eating pieces of raw chicken. That's true. It's pretty good, though. If you soak it in lemon and then you mix it with, I'm not going to convince you guys.

I'm just going to pretend like I thought it was a big mistake. I should never have done it. Yeah, it's crazy. Are you still eating raw chicken though? I haven't eaten raw chicken in a while, but it's more just because it's socially unacceptable. If you're out to eat, you're like, oh yeah, don't cook mine. It's just like after a while,

you don't want to just keep putting all your food into jars and being that guy with like, oh, I gotta clean. You mean Jeffrey Dahmer? Exactly. I'm the Jeffrey Dahmer of chicken. I meant to bring you up as that. Sorry, that's on me.

That's my new album. That's what it's called. Coming to the stage, the Jeffrey Dahmer motherfucking chicken. And did you also drug and sleep with the chickens before you consumed them? And drill holes in them? Yes. Did you try to make zombie chickens? Yes, yeah.

Okay, good. Oh, wow, you acquiesced pretty quick to that. All right, let's move on. I'm done. So you're eating raw chicken. Sure. Like Baltimore's wild. Them nutty nut boys be nutty nutty.

And so you move to Baltimore and then what happens? You do Jurassic Park live. I toured with Wham City in our version of Jurassic Park on stage. I was Nedry. I was Newman's character.

If there was a... There really isn't a bad guy in Jurassic Park, really, but if there was, it would be him. He's kind of the bad guy. He kind of is, but he's not like a nemesis. He's just a dickhead. Kind of an idiot. Anyway, I was him, and that was fun. Then I started doing

Wham! City Comedy around 2010. That was the first tour. Nice. What happened with that tour? That. Okay. That was the first tour. Nice. So what happened with that tour? That tour was, it was a short nine-day tour.

It was the first tour I ever booked, and there were 12 performers on it, all from the Nutty Nut City Collective. Hell yeah. And,

dot tumblr dot com. Just the top Nutty Nuts. And you guys all had nut names at that point, Exactly, yeah. I was Busta Nut. Nutty Buddy. Yeah, exactly.

Danny was Nutty Buddy. Nutton Special. Nutton Special was in there. Yeah, yeah. I was Bust-a-Nut. Nutty Buddy. Yeah, exactly. Danny was Nutty Buddy. Nutton Special. Nutton Special was in there. Nutworth. We could spend the rest of this thing just coming up with nut names. We can? All right. Let's go.

We could as in hypothetically. Slowly, everybody just leaves. Mr. Peanut and Cashews rule everything around me. There we go. Why? Put a period on that sentence. Thank you. That's the show, everybody. Thank you very much. So that was one of the craziest,

just most stressful experiences of my life. It was fun, but it was just we were in a veggie-powered bus. We were playing people's houses. You say veggie-powered bus? It was a veggie-o bus. You know, we had, like, we were playing people's houses and... You say veggie-powered bus? It was a veggie oil-powered bus. Wow.

You know, a school bus. Uh-huh. And so we had to... It was just a huge ordeal. Raw vegetables? Yeah, we just pumped just a bunch of, like, bell peppers in there. They're only, like, five bucks a pound, so it was really, like... Just shoving a butternut squash into the gas tank.

It really saves a lot of money. You just go into Whole Foods. You got to do organic, and then you just get them. Got to be. They run cleaner. You just pack it full and then you can just run for a couple miles off of 20 pounds of bell peppers. No doubt. People do it for that reason. It's better for the environment. But no, we ran off

of grease, like restaurant fry grease. So we would have to stop every five hours. We'd have to go find like a Chinese food restaurant. And convince them. And be like, can we put your oil in our car?

What? They were like, yeah, that's normal. Yeah. Well, because they have to someone charges them. They have to pay someone to take their fry grease. You literally went to restaurants. Yeah. And they would give us these what are called cubies of oil, which are just these like plastic things of oil.

And we would just be like so happy. Oh, my God, thank you. You know, and then we would just go and just like pour it into the bus and stuff. Wow. And then we didn't have to pay for gas for the whole tour. But we had to stop every few hours in a bus that could only go 50 miles per hour. It's a very low-rate version of speed.

We had to stay under 50. You had to. Don't you dare go over. That would be a really good redo of speed where they can go one mile per hour. They're like, that's not hard. They're like, that's not hard. We can just stop. No problem. Easy. Take that, Dennis Hopper. He's just like, shit's not hard. They're like, that's not hard. We can just stop. No problem. Yeah, easy.

Take that, Dennis Hopper. He's just like, shit, I made it under 50, not over 50. Is this the tour where you're doing the home improvement thing at the end? Yeah, so one of the things that happened on this tour was Mason Ross was on the tour, which I think a lot of people here know.

A lot of Ross heads out there. We got a lot of Ross heads. The last thing that we did for our show was this home improvement skit. I played Tim Allen. The sense was like,

it wasn't just a straight home improvement. You can imagine we put a spin on it. I'm winking. A little nutty spin on that. The idea was that I was Tim Allen, and at one point some police officers came in, and first it was Brad, and Mason Ross played Brad. Sure. And then the other police officer would come in holding Randy's dead body.

Jesus Christ. And the idea was that Brandy. Yep. And Moesha. And the idea was that Brandy Brandy. Yep. And Moesha. And Aaliyah. That Brad had killed Randy by accident in a car accident. Oh boy. Wow. And it gets very, very intense in that moment and Brad Mason comes over to me and he says, Dad, I'm so sorry.

And I just slap his face as hard as I can. Like literally hard as you can. Now this is before or after you talk to Wilson about this? Wilson pops up at the end and he has this really motivational kind of... You probably want to talk to Wilson before you resort to hitting your kids. I think, well, it's heat of the moment. So I slapped him really hard and then I would bring him close

and we'd make out for like five or ten seconds. Yeah. Like really intensely. You'd make out? We would make out with our mouths. It's a home improvement. It's a home improvement. With raw chicken on your breath just going at him.

So what happened was we were doing this, and like one night something happened where I broke. I started laughing. And they thought it would be funny if every night they changed something that they did to try to get me to laugh. So first it would just be like they came out of places I didn't expect. And then it started to be that Mason wouldn't be wearing his shirt. You just would come out shirtless. and then that just started to be,

and whatever they would do, I would just start laughing, and it would just ruin the skit, but it would be very funny for all of us. So it started ramping up where Mason kept coming out with fewer and fewer clothes on as the production went on until the final show. They were all like, we've got to really fuck with Ben this time. Yeah. Comes out with just a tool belt.

So what happened is Mason comes out buck naked in front of this big window in Times Square at this gallery that we played

on 42nd Street. Uh-huh. And he comes out completely naked and I'm like, oh God, I've got to like, because I would always

try to one-up Mason and whenever they try to one-up me, so I'm like, great, I'm going to have to jerk him off on stage or something. Sure. That's where it goes. You're like, oh, God, I've got to like, because I would always try to one-up Mason and whenever they try to one-up me, so I'm like, great, I'm going to have to like jerk him off on stage or something. Sure. That's where it goes.

You're like, oh, I've got to jerk him off. You know what I mean? But anyway. And then you get a part in a Chris LaMartina film. Yeah, exactly. So. No. In the casting couch.

So I would make out with Mason. So I was like, sorry. So I made out with him. But I didn't, you know, I didn't end up jerking him off on stage. So anyway, so that's what happened. But then what I found out happened backstage was the true story. Yeah. Was that Mason had intended to come out fully erect.

Wow. And so what had happened backstage. Like standing upright. Yes. Instead of on all fours. Yes, yes, yes. Of course. Homo erectus.

You guys got it. Got it. And so he's backstage... Homo erectus. Ben's like, let me tell my story. Yeah, that's what it's called. He's not using a racial slur there. So he's backstage...

Humans are killer. And he's... And Dan Deacon is holding up his phone that he has like red tube on like porn. King Nutty Nut. And Mason's watching it and just jerking off. Wow. And he can't do it.

He should have just taken a Viagra. Which I still, is one of the biggest surprises in my life is that Mason couldn't get an erection. So he's backstage. So he's backstage. So he's backstage. Dan Deacon with his big old glasses. And Peter O'Connell, another comedian,

is videotaping everything that's happening. And Mason's just like game face. Just like, I gotta get hard for this. This is my last shot. This is the eye of the tiger. Exactly. Yeah, right. So then, but then our friend.

Real quick, I think Chris LaMartina is going to throw up. So then our friend April, who was doing a ventriloquist act that was great, she comes off a stage backstage not knowing that this is happening. And so she just happens upon this tableau and is just like, oh my god and it's just like mad just upset right and then so anyway so he couldn't he couldn't come out full salute so yeah disappointing I like the yeah he's disappointed like God why couldn't I get hard in front of Dan Deacon in front of that camera. It's like this rarely happens to me. I was just nervous. I get hard in front of Dan Deacon all the time.

I'm just really stressed out at work. Normally I'm all man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Wow. Jesus Christ. Must have been a blow to his ego. Yeah.

Took him a while to get over it. Well, that's pretty insane. He should have written Binford on it. Binford 5100. Binford. Wait, was it Binford? Binford.

You're right. You are right. You're right. I'm sorry. You're right. So you right. You're right. I'm sorry. You're right. So you just came off a tour and are you ramping up for another one?

We are. We're going to tour in November. We're doing Hell Yes Fest in New Orleans. Nice. And so we booked a tour basically to get to New Orleans and back.

Right. So that's what we're doing. Just a short tour. And then we're trying to do... I'm going to be touring with Dan Deacon, opening for him in like February or March or something. Probably February.

Getting hard. Yeah, I'm going to basically just be jerking off backstage. And I'm just... My whole thing is I'm just going to walk across stage with a full erection and then wink. And people will be like, God, Dan Deacon's so inventive. Yeah, exactly. That's great. This is art.

And then I'm going to do... we're going to try to do a full US tour finally, which will be like a six or eight week tour with a full Wham! City comedy tour all around the country. That's great, man. You guys are really killing it. That's awesome. So congratulations. You want to hang out for a second while we bring our last guest? I would love to.

Make some noise for Mr. Ben O'Brien, everybody. Going to bring up our final guest, very funny comedian, one of the staples of the Thunder Grunt Network. Put your hands together for Tommy Simbazzo! And Chris is drunk. Howdy. Hi, Tommy.

How's it going, guys? Good, man. How are you? How are you? I'm Tommy. I've met everyone else guys? Good, man. How are you? How are you? Good. I'm Tommy. We've never met. I've met everyone else here but you. We just shook. We've met backstage before, but it's okay.

We did? Yeah, we did super comedy once together. It's okay. All right, we got some chatty- See, now you know how I feel. I'm the dick. I'm the dick in the situation. Yeah, you're the dick backstage being jerked off.

I look like every bald man and every baby. I look like every hipster with thick glasses and a beard. Yeah, yeah. So I get that. And you also have, what are those, steampunk goggles on your knockers? Yeah, I dressed up tonight. I dressed up for the occasion. No, that's your normal.

I have a purple velour suit coat that I wore tonight. I told the Meanwhile the Skull Base crew, everyone dresses if you're going to an Eyes Wide Shut party held in the capital city of the Hunger Games. Right. You had to tell them that? Yeah. They just didn't know.

It's orgy casual is what the look is. Yeah. Okay. Well that's why I wore a t-shirt. What do you got there? You got a apple beer? I'm a cider drinker because I own Polycided Dice. What? That makes sense.

Okay. Tommy, how are you, man? I'm good, man. I'm good. I'm very excited. You guys have been getting some big interviews. Yeah, it's been fun. And then this one, Ben O'Brien. I'd like to see the chart, the graph of your listenership.

You're going to be able to ski down it. Unsafely. You guys are going to get huge followers from those two, and it's going to peter off about midway through this episode. No, we're just going to ride this thing out. Midway, you're being generous. Okay, yeah. Double A, Chris Lamar, exit.

It's going to peter off like a strong erection pointed to the sky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what that phrase means. No, I'm just going to repurpose the Patton Oswalt one and just say it's a new interview and just take words he said before and just edit them together. I heard. This is the word on the street.

I like her. I was just out there talking to that hobo rearranging her bag out on the street. I'd love to hear what she has to say about us. That's who you got your current information from is a hobo lady? Yeah, she said that Meanwhile at the Skull Base'd love to hear what she has to say about us. That's who you got your current information from as a hobo lady? Yeah, she said that Meanwhile at the Skull Base was mentioned to Patton Oswalt and he said he would like

to do a part. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He said next time he's in town he'd love to guest on it. Oh, yeah. Listen up.

I told him you wouldn't be interested. Yeah. Listen up. Cast a Meanwhile at the Skull Base. If he wants any of your parts, you're fired. Sorry. Listen up, cast of Meanwhile at the Skull Base. If he wants any of your parts, you're fired. Sorry, he makes a sexy Honey Kill worthy.

We'll just write in a Cousin Oliver type of thing. You don't have to kick anyone out. That would be great. He just plays the new Haitian adopted child we bring in. He'll add some cuteness to it as the cast grows up. Yes, as we all age. I'm ready for Skull Base Babies. I want to do spin-offs. Skull Base Babies, Skull Base Sings.

Skull Base Erotic Fan Fiction. I've been working on some of that myself. Skull Base Mexico, that type of thing. Yeah, Skull Base Special Victims Unit. Yep, I like that. Tommy, you had a birthday recently, didn't you?

I did. Happy birthday, fella. Thank you very much. How did you celebrate? Because I know you like to go to movies and do mushrooms. No, we did that. The last movie I saw mushrooms on was Guardians of the Galaxy. And it was so fucking amazing.

Can I cuss on this? No, this is a Christian program. Oh, I was so Jesus Christ titty fucking so fucking amazing. Can I cuss on this? No, this is a Christian program. Oh, I was so Jesus Christ titty fucking none amazing. Okay, if you're going to quote the Bible, that's fine. That's fine. That immediately the next day I told my fiance, I was like, we have to go see this movie again. On shrooms again?

While doing mushrooms? No, you can't do them back to back like that. Well, that doesn't sound very exciting. I have built a huge immunity to mushrooms because I've done so much. I think I could walk out into the woods and just eat random mushrooms at this point. I think you could. I've seen some of the vines you've done. It's just six seconds of you wearing a literally like G.I. Joe cobra mask.

You go, hey, everybody. And it just loops. Doing the worst Cobra Commander impression. That's it. Hey, everybody, it's me, Cobra Commander. You know, the WCW wrestler, Cobra Commander impression. That's it. Hey everybody, it's me, Cobra Commander. You know, the WCW wrestler, Cobra Commander. Listen here, Joe. All right, brother.

Okay, so what was the impetus to do... How many movies do you think you've seen on Mushrooms? Everyone. Every movie you've ever seen? You're like, I love List, fire it up! Oh, man. Faces of Death is way better this way. I watched Roots on mushrooms.

Yeah. Wow. When I was done, my name was Toby. Wow. Congratulations. That's a horrible joke, by the way. We know. All the Marvel movies,

I've seen those on mushrooms. Including Man-Thing. I've never seen that. That's not even a movie. It is a movie. Cue it up. The Roger Corman Fantastic Four. Show us a clip, Rex.

Tee up a clip. We don't have a clip. Chris, can you do shadow puppets of scenes from Man-Thing? Yeah. Can you do a famous classic scene from Man-Thing? Great job, Chris. No, all the Marvel productions.

If it had Stan Lee in it, I saw it on Mushroom. Uh-huh. Okay. He's my favorite actor. I feel like the biggest problem with the Marvel movies is they're going to have to keep trying to figure out how to get an old guy in one of the shots. Right. Or what about in 10 years when they how to get an old guy in one of the shots. Or what about in ten years

when they've got to get a corpse in everyone? There's a tasteful viewing of Avengers 3 when they're at a funeral. Stan Lee's corpse. He's always robbed by a crime. He's weekended Stan Lee's. Nailed it. He can't last ten more years, right? Oh, yeah! Excelsior! Nailed it. Nailed it.

He can't last ten more years, right? He's pretty old. The clock is ticking. He's pretty old. I think he's already dead. I think he's been dead for the last few years. The CGI they can use is pretty old. Do you think he just did a bunch of stuff in front of a green screen so they could have it for like 50 years?

Just like, hey, how about you, guy? He's been scanned. He's been dipped in like a digital bath, and they just like, they can recreate him. He could walk out on the stage right now. The first 3D porn they make for the Oculus Rift is just going to be Stan Lee stroking it, talking about saying, hello, true believers.

I can't do a Stan Lee. He sounds like a wrestler, too. Yeah. My impression's a wrestler. The wrestler, too. Mickey Rourke returned Hey true believer brother Oh god

Panasonic's back Here's the real man thing movie So okay Doing mushrooms and going to see movies You do the steampunk thing You do a lot of fabricating Yeah yeah I built that. As a matter of fact, I built the Necronomicon for Call Girl Cthulhu.

Really? Yeah. Hey. Wow. Where are my Satan believers out there? Here's a little Easter egg for everybody. I don't even think I told Chris this. I tried out for the movie and didn't get the part, but they still wanted me to build the

books for it. That must have been awkward. So on the spine of the books in runes, if you decode them, it says my name down the spine of the book. Nice. That's awesome. And I'm sure a lot of the moviegoers

should figure that out by now. And they keep winning awards, and one day they're going to win an award like Best Leather Books in a Movie. And I'll be like, oh, that's me. I'm going to Arkansas. I don't know, man. Did you see about Schmidt?

Yes. Good luck. That was Jessica Tandy. Oh, yeah. What was... Is she here? What's going on? What was that?

How dare you? Brother. See, they're all wrestlers. Right. Yeah. At least they have a lot of camaraderie in the wrestling world. She does. She's big in the Baltimore community. Yeah. Yeah. At least they have a lot of camaraderie in the wrestling world.

She does. She's big in the Baltimore community. Yeah, yeah. Well, hey, Chris, congratulations on getting what you want all the time, apparently. It's like, look, you'd be perfect for it. Must have been an only child. Sorry, I'll just take your books and post it on Facebook. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like.

Dude, the Necronomicon's fucking sick, dude. Yeah, thanks. We were honored to have you. Yeah, you're good at all that stuff. Thank you. You're killing it. Did you make those goggles on your nose? Yeah, I made the goggles. I made my joke book.

Oh, wow. Cool. This is good stuff for the audio podcast as well. What Tommy's holding right now is a leather docket. How detailed was this Necronomicon? It was the last large. Now that I have access to a fabrication lab, I have computers and lasers do everything for me.

Sure. But the Necronomicons were the last thing that I hand-tooled all the pieces and hand-stitched everything. But did you do, like, writing on the pages inside? No, I just did the covers. The computers and lasers did all the writing. You didn't want to be cursed. Well, no. So Nolan Strahl, our production designer, did did the covers. The computers and lasers did all the writing. You didn't want to be cursed. Well, no. So Nolan Strauss, our production designer, did all the text.

And then Michelle Pugliese did all the illustrations. What was her name? Pugliese. Oh, yeah! Is that a name or an ethnicity? One more time, please. From the Isle of Pooh. I am Pooh-belize.

I'm sure she's never heard that. Grand Sorcerer of the Pooh-bian Empire. Pooh-bian Queen. I think we need to wrap this thing up. That's how we do it on time. Keep it going? Alright, let's keep it going. Eight more seconds.

Eight more seconds. Tommy, you do a bit about freaking out on mushrooms at a movie. Yes. How much of that is real? 100% of that little story. Yeah, it is. The man said, take your time, brother. All right, well, that man wasn't a stranger.

It was my friend Brian Preston. But yeah, I totally held Brian Preston's hand during Star Trek Into Darkness. Wow. All right, let's tell the story, and then we'll wrap this thing up. How about that? It's a 10-minute bit. All right, let's tell half the story and wrap this thing. So like I said, I do mushrooms when I go to see movies.

And Star Trek Into Darkness was coming out, so I decided to take the day off work. I went in to go see opening day, 10 a.m., Star Trek Into Darkness on a quarter of mushrooms. You had mushrooms for breakfast, and you're like, yeah. Well, that's the weird thing. You've got to be like, well, I really want Captain Crunch, but it doesn't go well with mushrooms. So you've got to mix it with peanut butter. Anyway, so I get to them, and I told my fiancee, she was like, should I come? And I'm like, fuck no, bitch.

I got this. I'm a man. Yeah, daddy can handle himself, right? What's up, brother? You respect your girlfriend. I do. I do. My fiancee.

Fiancee, excuse me. Means you give your girlfriend a ring. Yeah, Chris. So I go to the movie. I take a quarter ounce of mushrooms, which is way too much mushrooms. One dude in the audience went, whoa. Yeah. That was Joey from Blossom in the front row.

Whoa, whoa. That's a lot of mushrooms. I've never done mushrooms, so I'm just like, mm. Ben, you're just like, what a pussy. Sounds delicious. So immediately, like a half hour in, I start seeing, I'm starting to get heavy visuals and I'm like, oh, this is too much.

This is not a good idea. Then the first ten minutes of the movie, Earth is being destroyed. Buildings are exploding, falling over, crushing people. People are on fire. People are screaming. All of a sudden, I can't stop thinking about, I need a haircut. Buildings are exploding, falling over, crushing people, people on fire, people are screaming. All of a sudden, I can't stop thinking about I need a haircut. My shirt's too tight. My grandmother's probably going to die. I should really call my dad.

I need new shoes. I'm freaking the fuck out in this movie theater. So I decide. I'm like, nope, I'm out. I'm done. I stand up, but now it's opening weekend of Star Trek Into Darkness. It is asshole to elbows with Trekkies all around me. Really?

At 10 a.m.? Yeah, at 10 a.m. It smelled like Funyuns and Poli-Sided Dice. That's what I knew. So I sat back down. I was like, I'm going to be in space for a little bit. But I had taken off the glasses and broke them into a million pieces thinking it would keep the movie from getting into my head.

Right. Yeah, those are the portals that are getting into your soul. Stop you, evil witch glare. You couldn't just take them off. You had to destroy them. Yeah, broke them. The beam would still hit it and go into me. And you don't want it to happen to anybody else.

This ends now. I threw it on the ground, but then five minutes later had to pick up pieces off the ground so I could try to read blurry Klingon subtitles. Then like, I was like, fuck it. Now this is the part that, it's Brian Preston's hand that I held. But when I tell the joke, I say, so I'm sitting there, and I was like, I just need some human contact, something to just ground me, right?

So I turn next to me, and there's just this random black guy sitting next to me, right? And I was just, so I look over, and i'm like okay all right and i reach over and i grabbed his hand and i intertwined my fingers with his and i squeezed ever so gently right and all he did was look at me and as soon as we made eye contact i would just like i see some human contact man just a couple seconds just some human contact to ground me. And his response was, take your time, man, take your time. That's great. So, yeah, so like, and I immediately thought, like, how often

does this guy get, does this happen to this guy, that his pre-programmed response is, take your time, man, take, like, did he go home and, like, go in, his wife was like, honey, how was the movie? Another honky on my hand today. Did you tell him to take his time?

So that's the short version of that. Right. Maybe once somebody didn't take their time and it was also disastrous. We know what happened in that Batman movie. Did you make it through the entire movie? Yeah, I gotta go. In the joke, I bailed out halfway through, but I was like, no, you are not beating me

mushrooms. And I suffered through it. Did you watch it without 3D glasses? Yes. Just tripping your face off like, oh, I know what's going on. 2D, very blurry. And I'm like, I can handle this. They're all so fuzzy. Yeah. And what did you give the movie? What was your rating?

I could, terror wiped it out of my mind. I have no post-traumatic stress. The scariest movie I've ever seen, Star Trek. No, the scariest movie I ever saw was E.T. when I was a child, and that was without mushrooms or anything. Really? Yeah, because that first scene when Elliot meets E.T. and he sees it and Elliot's like, ah!

Ben's giving a knowing nod. E.T.'s like, eh! I was like, no! I was terrified of E.T. as well. No, thank you. But my mom thought that I loved E.T. So that year for Christmas, an entire E.T. fucking everything. I had bedspreads, toys, every E.T. product.

Right. And then she had my aunt, who lived in New Mexico, send a life-size E.T. pinata. What? Were you not able to talk at this point in your life? No, I had to be like, I don't really like E.T. She's like, you love E.T. Stop it. I used to sleep with a bat next to my bed thinking that the door would creak open and this piñata head would be like

scary. And then when he turns into a white dog turd to the end. Yeah, that's the worst part. I'm like, I don't feel sorry for that dog turd. I think you should do movie reviews. I think you should do movie reviews. I think you should do movie reviews.

From the point of view of a traumatized child. Yes. All right, guys. Well, I think that's our show. Give it up for Mr. Ben O'Brien. Woo! Tommy Simbazo. Woo!

Chris LaMartina. Woo! Fuck Brandon Weatherby. I've been Josh Kederna. This is Mike Moran. Thank you guys so much. It's our first live episode. We really appreciate it. Good night, everybody. We'll see you next time.