The Digression Sessions - Ep. 136 - Joe Matarese! (@TheJoeMatarese & @StavComedy)

Episode Date: October 12, 2014

Follow Us On Twitter!   @BetterRobotJosh – Josh Kuderna   @MichaelMoran10 – Mike Moran   @DigSeshPod – For Podcast Updates!   @TheJoeMatarese – Joe Matarese   @StavComedy – Stavros Halkias   Hola DigHeads! On this week’s episode, Josh and guest cohost comedian Stavros Halkias sit down in the green room of Magooby’s Joke House to talk to comedian, Joe Matarese! Joe’s a veteran stand up, he recently appeared on America’s Got Talent, and he also has a very successful podcast called “Fixing Joe.”   From Matt Mcconaughey and Tom Cruise dying their hair, to black rooms, Joe’s early struggles doing stand up in NYC and Florida, comedians wearing bowling shirts, and in a truly universal moment of kismet / time is a flat circle – Josh realizes that Joe was one of the first comedians he ever saw on MTV’s Spring Break comedy show. It was a hell of a moment, brother!   Like what you hear? Subscribe to and rate the Digression Sessions on Stitcher and iTunes. And check out our podcast network, Thunder Grunt! Thanks everyone! We love you! Thanks everyone! We love you!

hey everybody i'm josh kaderna and i'm mike moran and you're listening to the digression sessions podcast a baltimore-based comedy talk show hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers. Join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence. As we interview local and non-local comedians, writers, musicians, and anyone else we find creative and interesting. Yes. Who's the guest this week? Joe Mattarese is the guest on this week's program. Very funny New York-based comedian Joe Mattarese, who you can find on Twitter.

He is at the Joe Mattarese. His website is joemattarese.com, where you can find all of his upcoming dates, as well as his very funny web series called Fixin' Joe. And he has a podcast by the same name, which is really good, which you should check out as well. And a couple weeks ago, I got the opportunity to interview Joe in between shows he was doing at Magoobie's Joke House, a comedy club here in Baltimore. And it was a Saturday night, and i just hit him up on twitter and i was like hey would you want to do an interview he's like yeah sure so uh we just did

a a quick podcast in between shows and uh my my buddy uh stavros halkias who's a very funny comedian you can also find online uh he's on twitter at stav comedy his website is the same name and uh stav was the feature that that night and he was the co-host on this podcast for a little bit pops in and out here and there but uh joe is a really cool guy and it was nice enough for him to sit down and talk to me and it was really cool there's a really cool like universal kismet moment where i realized that joe was one of the first stand-ups i had ever seen on tv it was an mtv spring break show that uh jim brewer was on and uh yeah it was really really cool and at first i confused him with jim brewer he's like no no that was me that you saw i do

the bit about the girl in the roller skates like holy shit that's so cool like going from 11 years old one of the first stand-ups i ever saw cut to you know 20 some year well like 15 16 years later we're sitting in the same room doing a podcast it was really really cool so uh yeah this podcast was a lot of fun there are a little bit of there's some audio problems that hopefully i fix it is, uh, it's not too great. Um, what happened was for some reason when Stav turned his mic off, cause he had to go and do, do a set and check things out. Uh, when he turned his mic off, it turned mine off. So it pops in and out here and there, but I did my best to bring it in. And, uh, I had to reedit and re re say some things, but I kept the podcast true.

And, you know, it's not like I'm just going to add Joe's voice in wherever I want. Don't do it! Or, you know, I talked to him about it, and he thinks I did a really good job. Right, Joe? You saved a shitty situation. Hey, thanks.

I really appreciate that. And, I mean, I did a really good job. Yeah, you said that. Okay. All right. Well, yeah, I did the best i could trying to get this one together so thank you to everybody that's listening check joe and stav out very good dudes very funny dudes and uh yeah if i could plug some things here uh at the dig sesh me josh kaderna i've got some uh shows and uh fun things coming up uh this thursday

i will be at the auto bar i'll'll be upstairs with David Twightie, very funny DC-based comedian. And he hosts a podcast called Sadness Town. And I'll be a guest on that podcast. And the premise is that you put together a playlist of like eight or so songs that you listened to in high school. And then you play them live and you go over the wreckage that you were as a human being in high school. And then you play them live. And you go over the wreckage that you were.

As a human being in high school. And what you thought was cool. And yeah it's going to be a lot of fun. So it'll be a lot of. It'll be some Slipknot in there. Some pop punk. Maybe even Stone Cold Steve Austin's entrance song. Who knows.

It'll be a wild fun time. And then this Friday. Mike Moran and I will be at Zissmos in Baltimore at 8pm. We'll be a part of the Altercation Punk Comedy Tour, which is this tour that's loosely affiliated with Doug Stanhope and a bunch of funny comedians in his camp that are touring around the country. And we're actually going to have the guy that's headlining the show, JT Haberset. Very nice guy as well. Very funny comedian. He's going to be on the show later this week. We're going to double down. And we did a phone interview with him and talked all about the tour. And yeah, it was really cool.

So yeah, two episodes to look forward to this week. If you can't make the podcast, you want to see some improv, Mike Moran will be at the Mercury Theater on Thursday, October 16th. We're both doing the show on the 17th. And then on the 29th, Mike wanted me to plug a Halloween show that he's doing at the Auto Bar, where it's going to be a tribute to dead comedians, either physically dead or their careers are dead. People are going to be dressing up like comedians doing their act and a whole tribute night show. So yeah, all right, that's it. If you want to if you want like uh all the locations and uh ticket info and addresses and all that stuff check out digression sessions.com

slash calendar don't do it and that has everything there find us on facebook uh come say hi the digression sessions has a page over there rate and review us on itunes and stitcher follow us on twitter please come on i am at better robot on. I am at BetterRobotJosh. I am at BetterRobotJosh. Yeah, you said that. All right, yeah. And Mike is at MichaelMoran10. The podcast is at DigSeshPod for all kinds of podcast updates.

Got a bunch of fun things planned. Yeah, that's it. That's it for this rambling intro. Hopefully, you can get past the tech issues. Maybe you won't even notice, you know, it'll be nice and smooth, smooth sailing from here, guys. So yeah, rambling intro over. Let's get into it. Let's talk to Joe Mattarese and Stavros Halkias. Sure. This is going to be sold out. Yeah.

Yeah. When you do an hour. Maybe I'm wrong. Watch me sell nothing. Yeah. So you're saying the longer that you go, the more people are like, oh, I want to invest in this guy. Like, I got to know him.

That could mean something. I mean, because in New York City, there was a time where I would, if I did like one club in a night and I was doing three spots, I would bring my CDs and try to sell them, even though comedians would look at me like I was an asshole. I was like, I got two kids, dude. I got to do whatever. I would bring my CDs and try to sell them, even though comedians would look at me like I was an asshole. I was like, I got two kids, dude. I got to do whatever. I would go stand on the street, and I would mention it at the end of my... You do 20 in the city on the weekend.

Right. And then I would try to sell them, but you just never could. It was just no one. Yeah, one or two people tops. Yeah. They don't give a shit, probably. No, it's because you did 20. Yeah.

Yeah, like you were funny. You do an hour, you fucking you fucking they're like they know your whole fucking life story right right are you selling shirts and stuff too no just cds yeah i should probably do a shirt yeah sure i don't feel like i can't get a cd yet you know i don't have enough material but just a fucking shirt with my face on it or some shit yeah it's I don't know. I need something, man. I need rent money. Yeah. You got to get that merch going. Got to get some merch.

There's a feature in Boston who travels all over the place. He just stopped doing this, but he used to sell these fire wallets. Fire wallets? Yeah, he would do one bit with this wallet that he'd open it up and all these flames would come out of it. What? And he said there would be a line wrapped around the block. Get the fuck out of here.

He said he made more money selling fire wallets than he was getting to do comedy. And he would take middle gigs everywhere. Yeah. Just to sell the wallets. He'd put himself up if he had to. He goes, I could be with a famous headliner and I would be selling way more

than anything he could come near selling. Is that just because people were like, oh, I can't wait to do that at the office and show them the fucking wallet thing. And it was a wallet. It really worked as your wallet. So it was functional. And it looked nice. It wasn't ugly. That's funny.

20 bucks. But then somehow I think he couldn't get them anymore for the same price. And he had to stop doing the firewalls. Then he said he wanted to become a better comedian. He wanted to be known as the firewall guy. So he stopped. Right. He didn't want to be the fucking. Did he get better?

He was funny. I mean, I don't know if he was better than the first time I saw him. But he was funny both times. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. So how are the shows going this weekend? They're good. Pretty good. First show Friday was times. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. So how are the shows going this weekend? They're good.

Pretty good. Yeah. Friday. First show Friday was great. Yeah. Second show was a fucking late show Friday. Mm hmm. This one was good.

It was small, but the crowd was pretty nice. And this one apparently is about to be sold out. So it's going to be good. There's only one annoying thing that I told Andrew. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What's that? He's got these barriers that

you got to go through at the front door to get into the room but what happens is towards the end of the show or i didn't know where the noise was coming from because the the walls don't go all the way up to the ceiling they're like half walls yeah they just block vision but they don't block sound right you can hear what's going on in the lobby so the there's people that are there a little early for the next show. So they walk in, and then they make a quick right, and they go through a door, and they go to his back bar. But they talk. There's a lot of people gathered.

You'll be on stage. I'm at the end doing my closing bit. Trying to build that momentum. Well, I have ADD a little bit. So if I'm hearing loud noise from the side, like it starts making me literally just lose my mindset. I'm like, whoa. I'm thinking while I'm talking instead of just talking. Right.

Being in the moment. Yeah. You lose your, you're not in the moment. I don't acknowledge it, but I'm just like in my head, I'm going, what the fuck is happening? Totally. Go over there and police it. Yeah. If anything, I can't fucking, if anything's going on, if there's even a sound, if there's

one person not laughing even, I just, it just totally takes me out of it. I'm so, I haven't been, it's funny, your bit about ADD and like the questions they ask you, I think I might have ADD because, just listening to that bit i relate to fucking i relate to everything you're saying about the i've sat next to you in a movie and you don't move you don't fidget around and i you know what's funny is when i was sitting next to you in that movie the other day that him and i went to the movies uh-huh and i'm a little nice little date we saw like a a very romantic film. Pretty gay movie for two comedians to go see.

We actually rented the notebook and watched it in Joe's hotel room. We don't feel like going out. Let's not do that. Got a couple Bud Light Limeritas in the notebook. Some room service. Limeritas. We saw Skeleton Twins. Oh, yeah. That looks really good.

It's really good Yeah it looks awesome Excellent movie Yeah Bill Hader's great He was amazing in it Yeah I thought he was a gay man When I saw the movie Very convincingly

He plays it so well Not over the top Just Yeah It was very subtle I mean Very good You know what I mean

You've met that gay dude before You know what I mean Yeah He wasn't He wasn't hamming it up Yeah it was really fucking It was probably the best acting either of them have done. Yeah. You know, in my opinion, Hater and Kristen Wiig.

She was good too. Luke Wilson's in it. He's fucking. He was hilarious. He was really good in it. He was killing us. He plays the annoying husband. Yeah.

That you're just like, why is she married to this guy? And he's doing that in a subtle way that you're just like, oh, nice. It was really, it was good. Yeah, because he hasn't done much since those AT&T commercials. Right? Yeah, but that's crazy that actors are just doing commercials. Yeah, it's weird how all of a sudden they're doing that. Yeah, like Samuel L. Jackson's like, Capital One. like capital one that's you really need to advertise for capital one i mean it must pay

crazy oh matthew mcconaughey's doing that mercedes or lincoln or mercedes lincoln yeah that's odd that sucks that that commercial sucks yeah they're just it seems like they're just trying to do true detective the car commercial yeah it's all i, he's doing the same moody shit. Yeah, it's shot really well. Yeah, it's shot like True Detective. And he's like fucking in black and just kind of saying some cryptic fucking bullshit. It's supposed to be deep about the new Lincoln coupe. You sell shitty cars.

You sell, who the fuck buys Lincolns? You know what I mean? Yeah. What is a Lincoln car? I guess the town car. Yeah. If you're not a fucking upscale taxi. This is going to show you how vain I am.

When I watch that commercial, I think, one, I think, well, he obviously dyes his hair, Matthew McConaughey. I mean, he's dying in a different color. So, yeah, maybe he just has blonde hair. But he's definitely at the age that he has gray hair. And he's, like, got fully dyed hair. And, like, tom cruise does it also like these guys that are sex symbol type actors yeah could they ever just go fuck it i'm not dying my i'm just going gray i think clooney does it but he always was gray do you think one of those

guys and like you think tom cruise could all of a sudden have gray hair dude he would do that and then people magazine would be like oh my, my God, he's going natural. They would praise it. Well, he did that movie with Jamie Foxx where he had gray hair. You remember that? Cruise? Yeah. Dunstan Checkson?

Yep. You remember that? What was it called? No, I don't fucking know. Dunstan Checkson was a movie about an orangutan in a hotel with Jason Alexander in it, right? That's right. No, this one was Jamie Foxx was like a cab driver and Tom Cruise was a hitman and he got him to drive all the way to LA.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was that? I'm not going to remember what it was called. Was it good? Collateral? Collateral. It was good, right? I don't know.

I didn't see it. Yeah. I had no idea. It was all right. It was all right. Are you seeing a lot of movies on the road oh yeah i do a lot but i don't do the road as much as i wish i did really yeah because uh because you have kids no just because it's really hard to get work that's very annoyingly hard yeah well you come here a lot right uh-huh i've been working for

this guy for a long time there's certain clubs that Mm-hmm. There's certain clubs that I work, but to branch out and like, I mean, I even list them and send them to my manager. I mean, I know every great club there is. You can always tell the ones you want to do. Uh-huh. Because they have like a name that's different. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, I want to do the-

Well, Acme. Like, Acme's great, right? Well, Acme's great, but that isn't even, like, what's the comedy on State? Everybody talks about that. In Wisconsin. All these ones that are slightly alt-y, I love. And I'm not an alt-comedian, so when I get to do those kind of rooms, I like them because the crowds are just, they listen and stuff.

Like, The Laughing Skull in Atlanta, I love. I hear that place is awesome. It's very good. Yeah. It's small. Right, right. It's very intimate. Yeah. It's small. Right, right. It's very intimate. But there's so many of these clubs, you're like, fuck, I wish I could do these.

I wish I could go to San Francisco. I wish I could go to Denver and do the comedy works. Comedy works, punchline. I'm trying to think of all these other rooms that are slightly alt-y-ish. It's not even alt, dude. It's just like they have dedicated comedy crowd. Yeah, they have a dedicated comedy audience is just now people are just saying that for people that are comedy fans you know what i mean most comedy nerds are into more whatever you want to call alternative

comedy you know what i mean like they're into they're just comedy fans just comedy nerds right you know what i mean um and theyhmm. And they make great audiences. It's almost like too easy sometimes with those audiences. Right. That's what I've heard people say about the meltdown in L.A., that it's like nobody really, you have to try really hard to do bad there, basically. Yeah, absolutely. Especially that show.

Have you done it? I haven't done it. I went, my friend Brandon lives out there, and I visited him, and he just, I mean, he's a good comic, but, yeah, you can tell. I mean, that crowd is just with you no matter what the fuck you say. They're laughing at premises. You know what I mean? And not just laughing, like punchline laughs at premises.

You know, they're just with you. They want to be in on the joke. Unless you go up and you sound slightly contrived, you might not. You might have a tough time. You know, that's a good point. If you're doing real club shit, you know what I mean? If you say anything slightly racist, if you say anything...

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I noticed when I would do those rooms and I had to do them a little bit to get used to them. It's almost like when you do black clubs. Yeah. There was a time when i

was like coming up there was like a lot of different black clubs around and i came up and i got i got yeah i got good at doing them because i just you know and if but if i had to do one now i mean i haven't done one in 15 years i would fucking bomb a little bit i would get scared right and then you start to learn when you do those rooms and they're almost like all rooms where it's like no just be honest and come out and say what you're thinking right now if you hate our guts say it right and they'll respect you more and then you'll get a laugh absolutely yeah dude i like it it's just it's almost like like uh there's like some some nice black rooms in dc and baltimore obviously and it's like, it's awesome to have to like,

I don't know, those crowds are less forgiving, you know what I mean? Like, you have to go, you have to be kind of confrontational almost, I feel like, and just, I don't know, I feel like it keeps you on your toes a little bit. You can, you get away with less. You have to be in the moment. You gotta be real. It's a nice challenge. They like real.

Totally, real, and as a performer, you have to be dialed in. You can't be on autopilot. You know what I mean? Right. You sort of can, you know, just at a club. Right. You can. Yeah, definitely can.

Yeah. Yeah. Especially if it's packed. Oh, if it's packed. Yeah. Easy. That's what I hear, too, in those rooms that even if you are, like you're saying, if you get scared, they would pick up on that and just be like, boo.

Yeah. Just go right after you. Do you ever feel racist when you talk about black rooms? Like it's a different. A little bit. I mean, the things that make a black audience laugh, if there wasn't, I don't know how to say this, but they tend to laugh at things that are almost racist. It leaves the room. If I literally start,

if I was in front of an all-black audience and I was doing my act and I was starting to do badly, and then all of a sudden I switched the gear and was like, listen, these are all the things. If I just started listing things I was in question about black people or observations that are just honest that I've noticed. I remember just once being in front of a black crowd, and I had really observed this once when I was younger and I was a lifeguard.

I wasn't a lifeguard. What am I saying? I was a lifeguard. I worked on a beach renting umbrellas and chairs and stuff. How did I say a lifeguard? But you knew if it came down to it, you'd save somebody. You just made the most of it. I'd save someone with an umbrella on my back just pull them in but i remember being um on

this beach where i was working and i saw this black family come on the beach and the dad had a suit on at the fucking beach at the beach you know what i remember and like and i remember just being on stage in front of a black crowd once and going, and the guy like set up his own barbecue and they just, they were just doing it so much different than a white person would do the beach. Right. And I just asked them and they're like, they thought it was the funniest fucking thing ever. Cause I was really, I wasn't being mean.

Right. Wasn't being racist. I was just like, I gotta know why the fuck do you guys wear fucking full suits to the beach and start barbecue barbecuing? I don't full suits to the beach and start barbecuing? I don't understand. Start barbecuing. Does anybody give you an answer? They just laugh.

They can tell. You're being exasperated with it. You really can't understand what the fuck's going on. Didn't you hear last night there was a black family to the left? They were the best. They were the best audience members and i said african-american because i thought i should and this guy goes i'm black yeah and it was hilarious table yeah and but they sensed that i was like trying to be like or how you you know being african-american and they were like what

yeah don't say that yeah that isn't what you say yeah yeah i have a i have a bit where uh this actually happened to me in my office i talked to uh one of my co-workers mom and uh and uh because she calls her every morning from oklahoma just to say hi and i was like one morning i was like shantae can i talk to your mom she's like yeah sure so i go like hey uh miss border this is Josh. I sit behind Shante. And she goes, ooh, that voice. I love the voice of a young, strong black man.

I just didn't have the heart to correct her. I was like, yeah, me too. So I do that bit on stage and then if there's any black girls in the audience, they love that. And I end it with that.

And I hung up the phone. I was like, assalamu alaikum. And they were like, ah, assalamu alaikum. Oh, were like, ah, assalamu alaikum. It's crazy. It's great, yeah. So what you're just like, yeah, that's what happened.

They thought I was black. They're like, okay, yeah, yeah. We can see that. So yeah, it was a lot of fun. So yeah, so you started in Philly? Yeah, I did start in Philly. Uh-huh. Okay, next question.

What do you want to know about it? Now cheesesteaks. Who did I start with? Yeah. The Eagles. So how long were you in Philly before you moved to New York? I moved at about five years in. Mm-hmm.

And that's about right. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. And went well, I'm'm guessing i'm not famous now i um yeah i mean i think i moved at the right time i had some success you know i got some tv credits back then you know kind of early on not super early on i mean like seven years into comedy there's guys now that are famous in like two and two years like well look like che and uh pete davidson both get an snl yeah how

long's che been at it che's like maybe four years that's it yeah michael che really only four years yeah i think might be yeah i saw him a while ago i mean pete davidson's been doing stand-up but he's only 20 did he go to harvard or something? Poochay? I'm just guessing. Not at all, no. Nothing like that. Not at all, no, no. He just... Just funny.

Yeah, he's funny and just, you know, who knows? I mean, he consistently does well at every shot he gets. Is he a sketch performer at all? I don't know. No, they hired him to do Weekend Update. That's all he'll do? He won't do a sketch? I think so, yeah.

I think so. That's the first time Saturday Night Live's ever doing something like that, right? No, dude. They had just- I mean, they'll do. I'm sure they'll put him in some shit. Yeah, eventually. They typically have like Norm MacDonald.

I mean, usually the weekend update anchor. Yeah. Colin Quinn. Norm did sketches, though. He was funny. Norm's the best. Norm would do- I love that guy.

Norm is the greatest comedian ever. I love him. But yeah, he would do, what's his name? Like Burt Reynolds. Oh yeah, Tert Ferguson. Yeah. Yeah, on Jeopardy. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure they'll put him in some sketches and shit.

But yeah, he's mainly doing Weekend Update. Yeah, and he was a writer there before. Yeah, exactly. I mean, that's so crazy. He's a writer at SNL. And they're like, hey, come over to The Daily Show. It's like, all right. And then he's like, well, what about Weekend Update? Oh, okay, that's so crazy. He's a writer at SNL, and they're like, hey, come over to The Daily Show. He's like, all right. And then he's like, well, what about Weekend Update?

Oh, okay. That's so insane. I actually started in Philly, then moved to Florida for six months, and then moved back to Philly. To fucking Florida? For what? For comedy or just to do it? I was so lost in my life back then. How old were you?

I was doing stand-up. I started stand-up when I was 19. Wow. So I was probably two and a half years in. So I was probably like 21, 22, somewhere in there. A friend of mine was like, I'm moving to Florida. He was trying to be a tennis pro in his early 20s.

His mom had a lot of money and he was the only child so she would just pay for whatever he wanted to do. Right. And he was like, I want to go to the Jennifer Capriati tennis school. Yeah, don't we so he went it cost i don't cost a lot just to be in it yeah and he got an apartment right down the street from it right it was about 20 miles from tampa and he goes dude you want to move with me and he was my friend and i was like all right that's crazy i was always a hustler so like when I got down there, this was a time where there wasn't internet. There wasn't texting.

It was calling. You got comedy gigs by calling. And I never had a fear. And I just started calling clubs. I started touring around down in the south and emceeing different clubs week to week to week. You were telling me you could go on the road as an emce would go on the road as an MC and they would put you up That's awesome And you'd make like $3.50 for the week

Jesus Christ $3.50, holy shit That's what you make at some clubs featuring That's what I make at other clubs just featuring for the weekend Yeah, but those were the good rooms You could get in at the Improv or a Funny Bone Right As the host

They would put you up. Yeah. And you'd have big name headliners. The funny bone, some funny bones still do that, actually. Do they? The funny bone, I think, will put you up. The host? Yeah.

Yeah. That's what it should be. Or they'd have the comedy condo. I think that's what it is. They have a comedy condo, so they just leave it. And then the headliner, if he was big, he would stay in a hotel. Right. Right.

So I would just just you know i remember doing open mics and like clear water this is how great the open mics were down in florida back then it was have you ever done an open mic where the open micers go on uh before the pros on it's a pro show and it would be packed there'd be 200 people in the audience jesus ron bennington's comedy scene in clearwater florida wow yeah this is when this is when larry the cable guy was known as dan whitney and i remember working with him for a week once there that's hilarious i remember him yelling from the back of the room because i i would notoriously maybe this was my add i would go long yeah yeah and i would go how

am i for time and he goes you just cut your second album sign that's what he said from the back that's funny so one more huh okay yeah as a host you would just run the light i think so really or the feature i think i might have been featuring when i would do the ron bennington ron bennington's that's funny right oh my god uh and then came back yes it was six months. Yeah, and then I came back, and then four and a half, five years in, started to dabble with New York. And somehow I met this woman, Linda Rowe, who's still around.

She books Dangerfields now, and she managed Comedians back then. Dangerfields is still around. Dangerfields is still around. Oh, wow. And she managed Comedians, and she booked a lot of stuff, and she would give me work here and there. And then she goes, you should move up to New York. She goes, this guy who lives across the street from me needs a roommate.

So I went up, met the guy, and said, okay, I'm moving with a stranger in Astoria. This is before any comedians lived in Astoria, too. I lived across the street from this woman, Linda, who booked all those things. She slowly became my manager. And then when I got my first TV thing, I fired her. Really? The typical thing that every comedian does. You think you're way bigger than you are yeah, you just fire anybody who represents you

So then what happened after that did you keep progressing or we like yeah, I did Yeah, I have to fucking go check. Yeah. Yeah, what's going on with the show? I think it already started So yeah, there's a guest spot too. So you got a couple minutes who's doing a guest spot the show I don't know some guy won a contest or something yeah his name is linus or something yeah we have friends that have moved up to new york to do stand-up and uh they'll come back into town to do a guest spot and uh you'll ask them how it's going like hey man how's new york and they'll have that 10 000 yard stare and just look at you and be like it's hard it's really hard yeah and i've been doing stand-up about a year and a half and i've done000-yard stare and just look at you and be like, it's hard, it's really hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I've been doing stand-up about a year and a half, and I've done one or two sets up there in New York. Yeah, don't perform up there. You shouldn't even perform up there that early on. You're better off just waiting. Unless you're like some young phenom and you want to try to get discovered really fast and get like a manager and an agent. Even Dave Chappelle was like a phenom.

I wonder how many years in before Barry Katz actually started working with him. Yeah, we just had Patton Oswalt on the podcast, and he was talking about doing one-nighters and bar shows with Dave Chappelle in this area. Yeah, I remember he used to come to Philly to our open mic. No shit. Him and Blaine Kapach would drive down. Yeah, and you were like, these guys are different. Like they were a little alt-y then.

And Paul F. Tompkins used to be the host of our open mic. No shit. And even then, I was like, whoa, he's really, like, alt-y too. Like, they were alt-y before it even existed. They'll go, well, they'll probably hate that I just said that right there, but I just meant they were unique. Everybody

else was kind of a little bit more mainstream. We all had like a seinfeld the observational even my voice doesn't sound like how it does now i used to have a different comedy voice that because i wore a blazer i did all that shit and they were wearing flannel and talking about star wars yeah yeah like he had a lot of superhero bits i remember a lot of like weird bits about shooting fucking webs and i just i remember going man this guy loves comic books his nerds never gonna make it no i didn't think that though i remember him being good and then they they all moved to san francisco i remember that

but back to your point about um how hard it is when you first start out pat was telling stories about him and dave chappelle being uh stiffed on one-nighters and how hard it was to get paid initially and people wouldn't even pay Dave Chappelle sometimes oh yeah and one guy was like well were they laughing the whole time I had I had one in Staten Island it was this place called Circles I still remember it Staten Island's a notoriously Italian mafia area, you know? And it was at some, like, above a Gold's Gym or something. I remember that, yeah. Perfect.

And this was, like, this is once again before cell phones. And I couldn't find the place. And I remember telling the guy who booked me that I had a show in the city. And I was going to be cutting it close on time. He goes, no problem. You'll be going on after Jim Norton. Don't worry about it as long as you get there before he's done. So I can't find it.

I call and even back then going over the Verrazano Bridge always cost a lot. Like now it might be $15 to go over that bridge now. Back then, it was probably like $6, which is a ton to me. So I paid the toll, went over there. I can't find the gig. I find a pay phone. I call the place. And I can hear Jim Norton on stage over the phone.

And the guy's like, we're not doing comedy tonight. And I go, what do you mean? I was hired to do comedy here tonight. He's like, we're not doing comedy tonight. And I go, what do you mean? I was hired to do comedy here tonight. He's like, no. Well, we're having one guy, and then the show's over. I go, well, I'm Joe Mattarese. I'm supposed to go on after him. No.

No. And then he just kind of hung up on me. And then I just found the place. I think I got directions. I ended up finding it. I walk in got directions. I ended up finding it. I walk in. Jim Norton's just finishing up. And the guy goes, you know, we don't need you to go on.

Sorry. Can I give you something to eat? That's what he says. Are you livid at this point? I'm livid. This guy's big and scary looking. Yeah. And I go, I actually, i take medication now anger was always one

of my issues yeah i've been listening to your podcast you know all right i snapped even though the guy was like huge and i go dude i'm way past do you want some dinner in my career i go you got to pay me if you want me to leave i don't have to perform but you have to pay me and it wasn't like a lot it was was probably $100. Right. And that's what Pat was talking about, that not that much money is on the line when these people are doing that stuff. It's $75.

It's $100 here. It's not millions of dollars that are being spent. And he was like, no. He goes, I probably shouldn't have done a show tonight. I think the World Series was on. And this guy tried to do a comedy show during it. So no one one showed up and he just wanted to take his losses with the one comedian and i go dude you know i need the money that's why i'm here i was told i could show up a little late by the booker i'm here in time just give me the money and he just looks at me he goes can i talk

to you outside for a second that's what he said and i just looked at him and goes, can I talk to you outside for a second? That's what he said. And I just looked at him and I knew if I went outside, he was going to beat the shit out of me. And I went, fine. And I just left. And I got in my car. I'll never forget this. I cried in my car. And I punched my steering wheel about five times as hard as I can. Because I wasn't 22 at this time i was probably

like 24 25 maybe i don't know and i was like what the fuck am i doing with my life i don't know if you'll have those moments you're like what the fuck am i this is what i do i just came to work and they cannot pay me and there's nothing i can do especially because in that situation you've been in the game five or six years you're're due some respect at that point, you know? Yeah, that's why that came out of my mouth. I'm way too far into this to accept what you're saying. Yeah, and at that point, I'm not even a human, basically. It's like, well, what do you want?

You want some food or something? What's your problem? You want food? I'll give you a couple drinks and some food. Maybe one of the lowlights, like in the beginning like one of the the bottoms i can remember another one similar to that where i got hired to do someone's bachelor party oh and i remember i think i brought my own little guitar ramp i had to bring my own little sound system uh-huh and i got there and i did the whole gig right and i remember this it was, it was only like 12 guys.

Is it in somebody's house? No, it's in a bar in this little room. Yeah. 12 guys and they said, we need you to keep it clean. They were like religious.

What the fuck? What kind of backstory? Stavros is back, by the way. Oh yeah, sorry. All of a sudden, we are Stav like. Sorry, your fucking, yeah, your podcast app is fucked.

Just skipping back and forth. I'm back here. Yeah. That's what the guy, Yeah, your podcast app is fucked. Just skipping back and forth. Yeah, that's what the guy wanted it clean, which is impossible to make 12 guys at a bachelor party laugh at clean material. Oh, my God. So it didn't go well. Of course not. And the guy afterwards, like what you just said earlier that Patton had said, the guy goes, well, you weren't that good.

So how about we give you like 25 bucks? He might have said nothing. I don't vividly remember. Right. But I remember him. No, I think it was less. He cut my money in half and goes, this is what we think you deserve. Wow.

And I said something like, dude, come on, man. That isn't how it works. I remember Jim Florentine once giving me advice and i tried it his advice was if it went really really well were you going to give me extra yeah oh yeah that's a good point yeah yeah and uh i said that to the guy and he just stared me down like you want to go outside i was going to get my ass there was 12 guys and me i would have got my ass kicked by religious guys that night so i think i got nothing again and i just left and that was another one of those low points damn what were some of the early

high points well that first tv thing yeah what was the high point uh-huh that happened like six years in and were you it was um i was an audition for mtv used to do stand-up at spring break. Yeah, I remember seeing Jim Brewer on that or something. I was on it with Jim Brewer. Really? You're too young to know this. No, it was when Half-Baked came out. He did a joke about pushing a girl away on roller skates or something like that.

That's me. What? I did that bit. I swear to God. Are you sure? Yeah. Wow, that's crazy. Are you serious?

Yeah, but that's the second time I was on MTV. Jim Brewer had something called the Jim Brewer Show, and it was on the beach. It was spring break, but that was in New Jersey. Are you serious? On the beach. I did a joke about roller skating and pushing the girl away. Wow. That's so weird. And that's just how my mind like i remember jim burr being there you really are a comedy nerd you must have been like eight maybe younger how old are you now i'm 27

so i was like let's think how long ago that was so that had to be like my first tv credit it had to be 96 97 yeah that makes sense because i think that's when half-baked when were you born for sure 86 holy shit so you were 10 and you remember that yeah that's amazing i'm so old yeah that was your joke yeah i feel bad i'm like jim brewer had this great joke i don't know what you did that's hilarious but the first time jim brewer was just a comedian uh-huh and he was on it yes and i had to follow jim brewer and this is when he was on snl in front of college kids on the beach outside and he has just crazy energy he's rolling it's like following dane cook after he did that uh 360 what was it called that thing where he did the garden hell hell or whatever? Yeah, yeah. He did his special round.

You know what it was called? Yeah, I do too. Imagine following, trying to follow him as a no name. Right. And Spring Break is like his element too. People are already like fired up going nuts. He had a bit where it's like he's at a concert and he gets trampled in the front row and then the whole audience behind him starts running over him and they're trying to pierce

his nipple while he's laying on the ground. And then me who was like spent 45 minutes trying to figure out if he should wear his leather jacket or take it off i had it on and off about 40 times that's hilarious what'd you end up going with i ended up going with that's a good question we got to go back to the tape yeah you got to find the vhs don't worry i have recorded. That shit doesn't live anywhere. I have it home on a VHS tape somewhere. I saved everything for some weird reason. I think I went

without leather jacket. Which was a mistake. Because you wanted to look cool. I would have looked way cooler with the leather jacket. This is how long ago it was I had a bowling shirt on. All the comedians used to wear bowling shirts. Yeah, that was big around then.

Are you telling me you were going to go bowling shirt, leather jacket combo? That was going to be your move? With Vans on. How are you youths doing? I'm pretty hip. That's fucking hilarious. How are you youths doing? You got your ball chain necklace on.

Are you telling me you could have fucked back then wearing that attire? I could have got laid. That's hilarious. And Andy Dick was on it with me. Oh, my God. That's a hilarious lineup. Jim Brewer, me, Margaret Cho. Wow.

And there were some other comedians. I don't remember all the names. Yeah. But mostly really famous guys. Yeah. And the high point was i auditioned for it in new york no and this guy don jameson who does stand-up now but he used to work for mtv back then him and florentine are like buddies they do a lot of these like they

used to do something called meet the creeps you're here that they were like these hidden prank videos yeah it kind of rings a bell. Very Jerky Boys-esque. Yeah, he got in trouble for that. They did something with like 9-1-1 or something like that where an ambulance actually showed up. Oh, shit. I mean, his prank calls were fucking hysterical. They're hilarious, dude.

So Don Jameson worked for MTV, and I knew him a tiny bit. And I was on the audition at Stand at stand-up new york i remember this yeah and i got the check spot oh for the audition the whole audience is talking yeah and what this was one of those times me snapping worked right i just snapped uh-huh and i because some guy i remember i still vividly remember some guy stood up at his table and was asking people, like, U08, U04. Oh, my God. He's going in the front row. Oh, they're like, I didn't get mozzarella sticks.

Yeah. I'm not paying for those. Yeah, that's going on while I'm auditioning. So it's probably my first big audition ever in my career. Yeah. And I just go, dude, dude, what the fuck? I go, this is my career. Yeah.

I'm auditioning for MTV. This is my life. I go, dude, I will buy everybody in here a drink if you'll all just shut the fuck up and listen to me do five minutes right now. And they did. I just nailed it just right. And then I had a great set. And then I booked the show. And I remember Don Jameson because I knew him a little bit.

He goes, you pulling that off in that shitty situation was one of the reasons that we picked you. You stood out. Yeah. That's awesome. You saved a shitty situation.

Right. Oh my God. Did you end up buying everybody drinks? No. No. So then I did the MTV thing and typical comedian,

what did we just say earlier where you think you're bigger than you are? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fire manager. Fire the manager. Right. Started cheating

on my girlfriend like a madman. Thought I was like fucking Chris Rock. Buying all the bowling shirts around. There was so much pussy juice

on those bowling shirts. Oh my God, dude. People wore like mechanic shirts and stuff too. Remember that was big? I never had the mechanic shirt. I wasn't cool enough.

I just had the bowling shirts. And I had long hair because my girlfriend at the time that I was cheating on liked guys with long hair. So I just grew it out. And I have thin hair. So when I grow it long, it's just a wide part. Oh, that's awful. If you go to the comic strip, anyone who's listening in New York City, my picture's hanging there.

They have all the comics hanging, and that picture is up on the wall with the huge part. It's the funniest looking hair you've ever seen. Are you lobbying to get it down? You're like, eh, I'll just leave it. No, I don't even give a shit. This medication works. I'm not worried.

I knew a comedian that slid out his picture And put a newer one up Because he didn't like His old headshot That's so funny Like a dude We're all supposed to look bad In these old headshots Yeah

Who cares That's funny That's the funny joke You're too vain Seeing an old headshot Is hilarious Yeah Huh

Seeing someone's old headshot Where they don't look like that anymore Is so fucking funny Yeah He was very vain this guy Yeah I remember he had I used to call

I go you're like the... What was the movie where the guy was like a robot kind of, but he looked like a human? Not the Terminator. Maybe it was the Terminator. Terminator looked human, right? What was that Terminator movie? What's that?

Robocop or something like that. I don't remember, but I remember telling this guy that he just had too much plastic surgery done that he wasn't even human anymore. He had his eyes done. Oh, my God. Like LASIK on his eyes. Yeah.

Nose done. Hair plugs. Oof. Let me think. What else? He had like laser like where they pull the body hair out all over his chest and his back. Are you fucking kidding me? Had it all removed.

Is this a comedian? This is a comedian, yeah. I don't know if he does comedy anymore. I'm not going to say his back. Are you fucking kidding me? Had it all removed. This is a comedian? This is a comedian, yeah. I don't know if he does comedy anymore. I'm not going to say his name. He was my roommate at one time. That's funny. He was a nice guy. Yeah.

But I was like, dude, you can't be vain in this business. Or that vain. You have to be honest. Of course, yeah. Like the comedian that I moved down, the guy I moved down to Florida with. Yeah. That was a tennis player. Mm-hmm.

He was never honest. He used to do stand-up too and he had all these issues that he just never talked about on stage he goes dude i'm not gonna get laid if i say this and i go it's done if you're trying to get laid you're never gonna be a good comedian i can't talk about my insecurities you gotta talk about your most fucking secretive shit up there yeah yeah uh Yeah. When did you start doing that? Getting like. It took a while. Yeah.

Yeah. Because I started in that style where the honesty. Hey, what the fuck? Also, more like the observation. Have you seen this commercial? What's the deal with the fucking Oxygen commercial? The guy has one pimple on his face. Yeah.

You were telling me, too, that when you started, you were just, like, just fucking doing the hackish shit. Oh, yeah. Paul Tompkins and those guys would yell at me from the back of the room. Don't do it! I would do the, you know, I was that guy that did the same five at open mic every week. Yeah, yeah. Don't! I would go, Jack Nicholson, and then they'd go, no!

I'd imagine they'd go a little something like this and i pulled the hair back oh my god i was just young and and i wasn't comedy savvy it took it took till i moved to new york that all of a sudden i went oh i can just be me yeah oh my god i like figured it out even in paul tompkins years later my after my first letterman sent me a message and he goes dude i gotta give you credit good job man like i think i blew away those guys i started with because i was so bad that they were like holy shit like how this guy got to letterman like he figured it out right it just took a while that's crazy you beat the odds man well i always say that there's a say that some people have different learning curves. Some people are really good at the beginning, and then they stop, and they don't get better.

And then some people, 10 years in, all of a sudden, you're like, I mean, not to shit up. Bill Burr was always really funny. But like five, six years ago, maybe, I don't know, seven years ago, I love Bill Burr. He's one of my favorite comedians. But there was like a bump where all of a sudden bill burr was fucking hilarious dude it might have been i mean you talk to some people and it wasn't that long seven years ago it might be the uh opiate anthony thing that's like that opened him up a little turning point i feel like for him yeah just like just to talk yeah he just started talking on stage

it was amazing and also one of the most amazing fucking things just yelling yeah fuckers refusing to give up and honestly that kind of that's sort of what is that's what you think of bill burr when you think of like that kind of style that like i don't give a shit i'm just gonna do what i want to do you're not gonna beat me yeah i think since then he's just that's every that's all his stuff and now he's selling out theaters yeah it's great to see i can remember a night i think it was at the montreal comedy festival he hadn't blown up yet we were both there yeah and i remember and i was like how the fuck did he have the balls to say that i don't think i could say that yeah he just did a joke it didn't work and he just looked at the whole and this is like important there's industry there everybody yeah he goes listen i'm not

dumbing it down so come up to me or it's going to be a long show like i'm not bringing it down this is where we are that's amazing man yeah and i was like that's hilarious yeah i can see him just resting on the uh the mic stand just like get it together yeah he's the best but if when i do it what i've realized and only in the last like three years and i've been doing this 25 years is no shit the anger doesn't work for me the the nicer guy is i think i'm getting more fans now being the dad and being the nicer guy i mean i talked some negative shit about being a parent right but i don't curse a lot i don't really have any dirty material i don't talk about sex that much but it's weird it's like i think i found my kind of niche in this in the last three years yeah getting comfortable with who you are just being you know not i was so confrontational when i wasn't on the

medication that i'm on now i get so mad at people they didn't laugh i couldn't hand i don't even i don't acknowledge them not laughing now i just i i don't i don't think i'm bombing now and i'm not getting a big laugh i used to i'm like oh my god i'm bombing now i'm just like oh they're listening to me yeah right right right which is actually a great time because then all of a sudden you'll get a big laugh and you thought you lost them but you didn't right they were just they're listening to me. Right, right. Right, which is actually a great sign. Yeah, because then all of a sudden you'll get a big laugh. Yeah. And you thought you lost them, but you didn't. Right.

They were just, they're listening. They're invested. They're here. Yeah, they're different. You're interesting. That's what you want to be to them. You don't want to, you know. I always think amazing comedians never destroy.

That's the way I kind of look at it. Really? If you're amazing and if you're kind of a comedian that can make a comedian laugh right you're you're never you're not you shouldn't be up there just fucking getting 10 000 applause breaks yeah yeah i think what you what you get with those guys is you get listening listening listening and then a huge yeah you know like payoff is there you think like a patrice o'neill or i mean he was the best at that. I mean, just like... And all of a sudden, he's killing harder than any hack could ever kill.

But it took them 10 minutes of listening to something that he's saying. You didn't go on yet, huh? No. Oh. You ordered the burger? Right here, my friend. His food's here. I gotta go on, too.

Right here, dude. I think I gotta fucking... I think I'm up gotta I think I'm up I think I'm getting off So I'm going for real now Okay Alright

Well thanks for joining us Goodbye everyone Of course Yeah yeah I gotta eat these wings I gotta go on Do some dick jokes It's that rough comedy life

You know Gotta eat these wings Before you go up there Dude I Honestly I've eaten three meals Because I'm broke as hell right now Yeah And so I came here early

I ate a salad He overeats Like a squirrel Yeah exactly I'm saving up Storing it so I came here early. He overeats like a squirrel. Yeah, exactly. I'm saving up. He's storing it. Dude, I got here at 6, ate a salad.

Then at like 7.30, right before I went on, I ate a burger. Yeah. Now this is my little nightcap. Yeah. I wanted to ask you how the hell you got to Greece, too. Oh, yeah. Because you were like, hey, man, haven't had a job. I just make soup now.

Yeah. How did you afford to go to Greece? Dude, I mean, I had a job I just make soup now yeah how did you afford to go to Greece dude I mean I had a little money saved up so I was like I'm gonna either blow it slowly on fucking wings and booze

or I'll just blow it all doing a great thing I just decided to fuck it I don't know I'll get a job I'm looking for a job now I'm trying to be a butcher

but anyway I know I would love it anyway I gotta get the fuck out of here alright man see you guys thanks for joining us. You gonna bring the wings on stage?

Eat them fast? Yeah. All right, we can probably wrap this up soon anyway. I'm sure you wanna chill out a little bit. Yeah, I need a couple minutes. Is it packed out there, stuff? Yeah. Sold out?

Pretty close. How many is this seat? I think 290? Really? Or 292, something really specific. I'm pretty sure it's 292 because I always look at all those weird signs before I go out and host. But then again, I thought Joe was Jim Brewer, so who the fuck knows. He pushed a girl roller skating.

That was a classic old one of mine. The bit was about going on a date with a girl at a roller rink well no it was a long bit about going roller skating growing up parachute pants and members only jacket and at the end it's like i talked about ladies choice how the good looking girls go to the bathroom and some like scary looking girl sneaks up from behind a pole and I would make this ugly face. I go, escape with me. I can go backwards. And I go, good. And I just push her.

That's one of the things. That joke still makes me a lot of residual money on Sirius Satellite Radio. That one gets played a lot because it has Journey playing in the background. Somehow I got away with Journey on the record. I don't know how I did that. I just kind of snuck it in. Steve Perry's never gave a shit. Yeah, thanks, Steve Perry.

Thank you, dude. I think that's probably when I first got into stand-up because I saw Half-Baked and I was like, oh, my God, a pot movie. And then seeing Dave Chappelle's special on hbo killing them softly sure that's how i found out uh he did stand-up and then seeing jim brewer on mtv i've noticed i find that stand-ups especially good stand-ups they're usually um ahead in their years when it comes to tv and movies and stuff it's like i remember just i remember being like you i would watch comedy when i was so young and just i would tape them all and re-watch them and like study

them and then i would uh know all the old i loved old that all the old tv shows like really old even now i can watch some fucking black and white sitcoms like i just i like it you know yeah i remember my mom showed me Eddie Murphy's Delirious and Goonie Goo Goo and all that. Oh my God, it's a classic. How old is your mom? She's probably my age. She was born in 62.

She's five years older than me. She's in her 50s. Or seeing some of George Carlin's stuff. I remember one of his bits was about sleeveless t-shirts and how bad people smell that wear them. Hey, your armpit smells like an anchovy's cunt i don't know what it means but i imagine that's the smelliest thing in the planet he's a genius anchovies cunt that's like later carlin as i remember i think i remember that him saying cunt and i was like

yeah i don't even know what that is i mean i think i know what it is my context but i think i know what that is but yeah man thanks for sitting down to do this because uh andrew always said uh he's like yeah when joe madderese comes through you guys should uh you should check him out because you guys sound exactly the same i I should have you host or something. Okay. All right. I don't notice me sounding like you. I mean, I don't notice really either. I guess we do though now. I hear the resonance

in the voice. I notice it in the voice. Right in the voice baby. Yeah. Oh yeah. But yeah, I think I've monopolized enough of your time uh but but before we get out of here um any uh any more advice for uh young comics out there well hopefully that came through and all the stuff i said to just be be you and know that you can be really specific be as specific about you as possible i listened listened to Phil Rosenthal,

who created Everybody Loves Raymond, and he has some book on tape called How to Turn Your Life Into a Sitcom, something like that. Really good listen, if you ever... And check him out on... I know I've heard him on... Is he?

I heard him on Barry Katz's Industry Standard podcast. He's a good, interesting guy to to listen to and he really hits home that the more specific you are about you the more versatile it is instead of the opposite it's weird right like people recognize the specifics you know like uh when you're talking about the guy in the suit on the beach. Right. Well, that's not even about me. I'm saying be specific about yourself. And then it's weird how it becomes universal. Right.

Even if they haven't done it, you'll be amazed at how they either understand, they get it, they've thought of doing it, or they know someone who's done it. I remember, I think Colin Quinn said that somewhere on a podcast he said if i could go back and do it all over again i would just talk about myself yeah yeah right on yeah that's uh that's something i'm trying to work on too i'm trying to think what else i could tell you um well everybody says you got to just get up as much as you can everybody knows that um what's another thing i think it's good to have a mentor type i've never really had that until like arty lang kind of helps me out now kind of because he's way further along business wise comedically we're probably the same but when it comes to success he's way further along business-wise. Comedically, we're probably the same. But when it comes to success, he's done a million more things than me.

So he's very good that way. I think it helps if you have somebody you think is really good, like kind of there going through it with you. Right, or maybe a couple years ahead. Yeah. Because you always think you're better than you are and then you fuck yourself you know you move to new york too fast or you audition for this club too fast yeah and then you burn that bridge to like oh i wish i didn't uh go up in front of those people god damn it yeah you only get one chance to be this new exciting guy so

pick the right time anything you want to plug here at the end man just listen to my podcast fixing joe it's on itunes and stitcher and everywhere you can listen to a podcast and i have comedians help me with my life and we talk about everything on it and uh check out my web series that evolved out of the podcast called Fixing Joe also. It's on officialcomedy.com. We did 13 episodes and very proud of those. Some of the best shit I've ever done. I love acting and I think if you check this out, you'll think it's kind of not your typical cheesy web series.

I feel like the guy who shot it did a really good job. I think it's very well done. Cool. Yeah. Thanks again for doing this, man. In between shows, taking time out to do this with me. Especially when you didn't know that I was a comic. Could I interview you, please? Just being nice.

I was like, all right. This was awesome, man. Thanks so much. All right, dude. Thanks for having me. you