The Digression Sessions - Ep. 14 Limitless Fun & the Bets w/ Amanda Kelly!

Episode Date: December 5, 2011

Heyyyyyyy nowwwwww Digheads! Your two favorite ear buds, Mike Moran and Josh Kuderna, are back! A comedian flaked on us this week. However, as soon as Amanda Kelly heard about this tragedy, she picked up that dropped ball and ran with it - for a little bit anyway. We'll be back asap with a full length ep, digheads. We lovvvvvvveeeee youuuuuuuuuuuu!  Topics for this ep include: Dogs, Dogs going to Phish concerts on acid, Morgan Freeman, Dee Snider, MSNBC, Human Centipede 2, Hungry hungry hippos, Limitless, Misogyny, Elephants, Rhinos, and so much more!   DON’T FORGET TO RATE US AND SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES! PLZ! It really helps!   @Jkuderna   @MichaelMoran10   [e-mail]           digressionsessions.tumblr.com    

We're gonna have to shoot that dog. In our latest film! The dog that barked too much. I think we actually shoot it. Oh yeah, what up, Dignheads? Is there music playing? Yeah, you don't hear it? I don't hear anything.

Should we start over? I guess so. Oh yeah, that makes sense. You're a little... Oh, yeah. That makes sense. You're, like, getting all funky. I was. Can't hear a thing.

All right, there we go. I just leave it in. Diggheads, you've been hearing the music the whole time. Oh, you know something that I don't know, and you've got something to tell me, don't you? What is it? Attractive man, child, Moran. All right. That'll be your new nickname.

That's really catchy. I think it's good. Attractive man, child, Moran. All right, what up, Digheads? Welcome to another Dig Sesh. It's your two favorite earbuds, Mike Moran and Josh Koderna. Oh, shit. The best comedy duo since Kid and Roses.

I like how you got the, oh, shit, man. Did you say, oh, shit? I didn't say, shit. You said, oh, shit. I wouldn't do that. No. Not big on, like, the twisting, I don't know, like, mispronouncing words lately. Yeah, I've noticed you don't like

Twisted Sisters either. They had their hits. What was the song they had in Pee Wee's Big Adventure? Don't you see no evil? That one was actually pretty They had another song in there? Really? I didn't know that. Yeah, they had

Okay, according to the behind the music from what I remember, they had their big hit They had a follow-up called i want to rock which was also pretty popular too yeah and then on the on the follow-up album the first single was a cover of um uh leader of the pack that apparently did very poorly no get out of town yeah yeah wow they showed a clip of the video and it shows shows them all urinating from the back. And then they turn around and zip up their flies. They go, leader of the pack. Blah, blah, blah.

And then their next follow-up. These were the days where your video being played on MTV determined how successful you were. Oh, of course. Of course. And the next one was a duet with Alice Cooper called Be Cruel to Your School, which was banned from MTV and may have effectively ended their career. Those poor guys. Well, at least there's enough, not reality shows, but those shows where they talk to has-beens about stuff. Like, I Love the 80s and stuff.

Well, Dee Snider had a pretty good comeback, like, as far as just being Dee Snider. Yeah, he, like he had some gigs. He became somewhat of a followed personality. In fact, I think he does the voiceover for MSNBC. Weirdly. Really? Swear to God, yeah. So CBS News has Morgan Freeman.

MSNBC gets... I heard somebody else say that. I want the news! You're not the first person to... No, CNN has James Earl Jones. Okay, that makes sense. Right. And MSNBC is Dee Snider.

I don't believe that. Not for a second. Are we willing to place a wager on this? Sure. All right, how much? I will bet you Dee Snider's yearly income whoa let's let's do something interesting i mean we're not gonna all right what do you what do you propose michael moran i'm not gonna bet you debt first of all crippling debt all right okay um what if we let the dig heads decide what

the consequences of this bet let the dig heads decide what the consequences of this bet are? Let the digheads decide. Now let's go over the terms exactly of the bet. Yeah. I'm betting that Dee Snider does voiceovers for MSNBC. Well, okay. I think we've got to put some parameters on it. Are you certain that he still does that until today?

I am not. I don't know if they're still running. I mean, they're just like, you're right it was d snyder and now that's like the intro for the nightly news on the msnbc network no i think it was like a like a you're watching thing just like a bumper kind of thing like commercial okay so is the bet that he is or was at some point right okay so are we gonna say currently or just at some point in time? I cannot say currently. All right.

That's what I was saying, currently. Oh, come on. I was saying currently. That's what the whole weirdness of that situation was predicated on. Like, yeah, I could see him doing it in 2007. Right. No way. You remember 2007.

It was loosey-goosey back then. It was the Wild West of networks. Remember Cindy Lauper did the intro for Fox News? Did she? Yeah. She said, maybe they're one-upping. Americans just want to have guns. Really?

No. Did you just make that up? That's funny. Write that down. You heard it here first on the Dig Sesh News Network. All right, fuck it. I'll bet you. I mean, but you seem pretty certain in this.

Well, that's for you to decide or not to decide, Josh. Was that his slogan? It's like MSNBC News. That's for you to decide or not decide or whatever. Uh. Ah. I don't think, uh, MSNBC was a libertarian station. No, I don't think so either. Uh-uh. All right.

The government will decide for you. That's what he said. The government is right. Right! I want Iraq I want oil Oh yeah Alright, Dig Heads

So this will be a quick little ep We don't have a guest again Because guess what? A lady flaked on us Lady flaking I think the fellas can relate to that one Am I right, fellas? Oh yeah Last time I saw a woman flake Flaked on us. Lady Flaking. I think the fellas can relate to that one. Am I right, fellas? Oh, yeah.

Last time I saw a woman flake was when she stopped using her head and shoulders. That's why I use head and shoulders on my ladies. I'm Mike Moran. I had an excellent moment last night. I had a misogynistic joke followed by a pretty loud fart. And I felt really good about it. What was the joke and what was the fart? My girlfriend and I watched the movie Limitless starring the sexiest man alive, Bradley Cooper. The guy who robbed that airplane?

Yeah. He came back just to make a movie. He was in hiding and he said, you know what? I'm going to make a movie. Wow. Come back to the century. He had enough money. He financed it himself, starred in it.

Right. No, Bradley Cooper, you may know him from the Hangover films as the one guy who is not Zach Galifianakis or Ed Helms. Okay. I can't picture him. He has like the coiffed back kind of hair, brown hair. For the sake of moving on, I'll say, I know who you're talking about. Two hours later, like Bradley Cooper.

He's that handsome guy. Was he on The Wonder Years when he was younger? Didn't he like... Yeah, he wears pants sometimes. Oh, that guy. He's got two eyebrows. Remember, your name is Mr. Thompson. I think he's talking to you.

Anywho. But yeah, so Limitless, the concept of the movie is basically you take a pill and it makes you a genius. But it, of course, has effects to your detriment. But what were we saying? Oh, yeah. So after the movie, the movie was okay, by the way. I expected a lot less. Is this like a...

This could be a comedy. This could be a drama. This could be a sci-fi film. No, it's a little bit of drama-y with a little bit of comedy, of course. Right. There's a moment once he's like, oh, I'm a super genius. I can get stocks. Okay.

I can get stocks. I can get stocks. Texas, New York gold. I'm actually reading the summary off of IMDb right now. Man takes pill. Realizes he can get stocks. Texas, New York, gold. I'm actually reading the summary off of IMDb right now. Man takes pill, realizes he could get stocks. Credits. Is there a stock montage? There is, actually.

Like his portfolio is growing. There was one just big E-Trade commercial, actually. Yeah. Yeah, but there's like those corny moments. He's like, and then i got new friends and those friends took me to the beach and the beach was really far away and then it shows him getting on a plane to go to italy at this beach like oh that's so cool we thought you were gonna go to the regular beach but you went to some fancy beach you're not an ocean city

um so yeah so after the movie, Amanda and I were talking. We were like, yeah, it wasn't that bad. I expected a lot worse. It was okay. Right. Give it like a three out of five, maybe a little. A C. C plus?

C plus. C plus, B minus, because the ending was kind of blunt. Right. I don't want to spoil it, but Amanda. You already did. No. You mean I want to watch it? No, it's okay.

Once I get through every A and B movie in this world, then I'll check it out. I appreciate that. How about that? Loser of the bet has to watch Limitless. You already watched it. I'd have to watch it again. That really sucks for me. All the way through?

Yeah. Let's make it something worse than Limitless. That's a C+. I mean, what about a D-? Not something so bad that it's good. Human Centipede 2? I really don't want to watch that. I really don't want to watch that either.

All right. Whoever loses has to watch it. God damn it. I should have said some type of pornography film. I really don't want to watch that Star Trek porn parody. Are we doing a digital handshake? I think so. All right.

Shake. Do you have a handshake sound effect? Nope. I love ya. All right. Let me get out my handshake. As the Dig Sesh backup dancers as our witness, we're handshaking right now. The Fly Girls.

Say I love you if you saw a shake on that dig sesh dancers I love ya thanks ladies alright okay so we really have to watch it if oh yeah

well how do we prove it am I gonna have to watch you watch human centipede 2 I think we can go on the honor system okay I would wanna see

that disc around your house the loser has to pay for their own just anywhere around my house like if it's just on my front steps I would want to see that disc around your house. The loser has to pay for their own viewing. Just anywhere around my house? Like if it's just on my front steps? I would want some evidence. I wouldn't want like a...

So when we open the film, when you're obviously reciting what you learned on Wikipedia, we find our hero, Melanie. Melanie's the hero of Human Centipede 2. I actually already listened to a podcast review of Centipede 2, though. But I'll still, I still, and that makes me want to not watch it. Spoiler alert, huh? I haven't seen the first one of you. No, no.

Neither have I. I don't really want to. No, so maybe we'll be pretty lost if we watch the second one. That's no good. Yeah, I don't think we have to worry about that too much. So anyway, my misogynistic joke, we were joking about, we were talking about Limitless. It's not that bad, blah, blah. I mean, it's like, yeah, it would have been better if they had a female take the pill and then she could reach her full potential.

And I'm like, don't ladies already know everything there is to know about making sandwiches anyway? And then perfect fart right afterwards. It was great. It was. Did you high five your male contemporaries? Yeah, I did. I just had all my friends in the bedroom, ugh. Did you high-five your male contemporaries? Yeah, I did. I just had all my friends in the bedroom as well. Did you hear that one, guys?

What were you guys doing home watching a movie on a Friday night? It was date night. Date night. Oh. I got you loud and clear. Well, I had already, you know. This is after I was playing beer pong. I went and saw some titties at the t pong and went and saw some titties at the

titty bar and saw some titties at the beer pong bar. The beer pong bar. What about the pong bar where you just play pong? There's a bunch of nerds playing Atari. Playing some pong tonight, bro. Why aren't there bars with all sorts of video games, like arcade games and stuff? I was about to say, I believe they're called arcades. Well, they don't exist anymore, number one.

Wouldn't that be fun if bars had a whole bunch of video games? Why don't they? It would be fun for me. No, I think that's what that Dave and Buster's, the whole conceit of Dave and Buster's is. That's like a drinking place? Yeah, it's a bar. I think it's like a Chuck E. Cheese for grownups. I think I went there and I was like,

what? There was one in some mall that I've been to many times and didn't know it was there or didn't know the extent of it. And I went in there and I was like, holy god, there's a whole universe back here. There's bowling alleys and video games. Mike, I would be inclined to believe you,

but that Dave and Buster's t-shirt and hat that you've been wearing the whole time, I don't feel like this is sincere. They had one of those things that they spin the people who go in the shuttle, the astronauts, around. The thing from Contact? The movie from Contact? Yeah. Jodie Foster was there. They had a zoo with a pygmy in it.

What? Yep. Hey, speaking of zoos, I will soon have the opportunity to feed a rhino its breakfast. Alright, moving on. I'm serious. You don't want to hear about that? Briefly, yes.

I want to know exactly why and how this is happening and then move right along. Okay. Well, my friend's girlfriend, she works at the Baltimore Zoo. Right. They're having an auction for zoo items to benefit the zoo. Like, they put paint on a leopard's foot, and then they put the foot on a canvas. They said, hey, you can buy this canvas with a leopard print.

Wow. From a leopard foot. That's probably going to bring in a lot of money. Yeah, it was a little overpriced. But anyway, the big thing. What about having animals fight each other? That was not available. Elephant versus cheetah?

Oh, I'd have to take the cheetah. You think so? Oh, yeah. Elephants are big. They can stomp pretty hard. But that's what I mean. One cheetah versus an elephant? I don't know.

I think it takes a lot of cheetahs to take down an elephant. Cheetahs are very fast, very nimble, can weave in and out, jump on top. They can also jump pretty high. But it's only one. I mean, if it was a pack. All right. It's the next bet we have here. You're lucky I just bought an elephant and a cheetah as well at this auction,

so we'll be able to put this shit together. No, I don't really want to see animals fight each other. I mean, I do, but I don't want them to be hurt. They just, like, box each other. Just have fun, you know? Yeah. want them to be hurt they just like box each other just have fun you know yeah um so jason bid excuse me jason bid on this item where it was 200 for you and four or five of your friends go feed a rhinoceros at the baltimore zoo uh-huh and that sounds terrifying to me and jason was the only one

to bid on it or i don't know why he did it. It was just like a compulsive thing. I feel like rhinoceroses are like the closest thing to dinosaurs we have. Yeah, a giant horn. They're terrifying. But yeah, he also got a painting that was painted by a rhinoceros that had paint on its horn. So it looks like some little kid did like a finger painting. It could have been anything. They're just like, just throw paint in there. i can sell it like an elephant did this check it out

but since uh you ever seen an elephant pee and poop it's a lot right like it's like something just it's really it's a lot of piss too right yeah it's like just open a valve yeah and like the penis has all these muscles so it like moves all around and like swirly motions whoa and like the poop is just i'm picturing like a fire hose that no one's manning yeah you know they just go nuts yeah only it feels more controlled like some weird like you know it feels more controlled you've held on to it what appears to be more controlled like you went through that wild phase where you can only get a boner by holding onto an elephant's penis. Everyone goes through that phase, Josh. Right. We've been there.

Some of us just don't grow out of it. Yeah. No. Anyway, so you're going to feed a rhino its breakfast. Yeah. And since we have the hookup, since my friend's girlfriend works at the zoo as well, we also get to feed zebras and penguins cool which i like a lot yeah so zebras and penguins much more docile than the mighty rhino human killing rhino so is this thing going to be behind the fence i i think so i think that's what the deal is like i

think they come up to like wall with a hole in it. I really don't want to walk in a rhino pen first thing in the morning and be like, hey, Mr. Rhino. Otherwise, it's just going to eat out of your hand? No. Fuck no. Are you going to toss it up into its mouth? Or do you hold a bucket there? Listen, I have no fucking clue how it works.

Jason just bid on it. And then he's like, I don't know why I just spent all that money. I'm like, well, I want to go. They're planning on feeding you tonight. Like, yes, it's all going to plan. I was thinking that could work for stand-up, though, at least to have a story. Yeah, yeah. You might be wondering why I'm missing my left arm. Well, let me tell you a story.

Old Rhino, old ornery rhino. Rhinoceri. Rhinoceri. You know hippopotami are responsible for the most deaths in Africa? At least most animal deaths. I'd say AIDS is probably a little bit more deadly. Did you know hungry, hungry hippos are the number one selling gift to children in 1972. I thought you were going to say save the children or something.

I don't want to ever associate myself with that group. Hippos. Hungry, hungry hippos. Save the children. That would be pretty awkward if you sent the kid that you sponsor in Rwanda a box of Hungry Hippos. Huh? Huh? Have fun, guys.

Have fun. What were we talking about before the rhinos? Before the rhinos. I don't know. That's my favorite band, by the way. Human Centipede. Before the rhinos. Before the rhinos.

Let's take a break. And we are black. And we're back. And we're back. Wouldn't be a dig sesh without some racism in it, huh? Yeah. No, it's not really racism. I'm saying we're black.

It's racial. Racial. I wouldn't say it's necessarily racist. No, it's definitely racial. Racial indeed. So, Mike Moran, how the hell are you? I'm fairly well. I am.

I don't have too many complaints. Right, right. Been kind of stressed the last couple weeks or so, but not terribly. Really? What's the matter, you? Nothing, just have a lot to do. Good stuff, though. Okay.

Can't complain. Just being busy. Oh, my lady just walked home. Hi, Amanda. She just walked home? She just walked home. Hi, Amanda. Walk it off. Do you want to come say hi?

Amanda, do you want to say hi? Hi. Can you pretend to be Marie Alexander? Hi. Yep, that was Amanda Kelly as Marie Alexander. She's a character just like her actress. Character. I think Amanda has a new bedroom play thing.

Did you notice that our dog broke her harness? No. Ooh, you're a bad dog, Josh. I'm a bad babysitter. Ooh, even kinkier than I thought. Did you notice the baby broke out of its harness? What the fuck? You're naughty.

Did you notice the baby we keep in the basement broke out of its harness? Do you care at all? You heartless bastard. Oh, man. All right, let's take another break. Just call it fun. Wouldn't have to be the B word. What?

We can just call it fun. You guys have different size heads, I've just noticed. Oh, yeah, Josh's head is huge. Yeah, it is. I also have a big top hat. I bought Santa hats for us yesterday. And I made sure to get the extra, extra large one for Josh. Aw, thanks, honey.

You're welcome. Got a lot of brain in that cranium. At least you have a body to support your head. Mine just, like, falls. Well, it's because you elongated your neck like that African tribe does. I told you not to do that. You know, they're not actually elongating their neck. They're crushing their shoulder bones.

Ew. Yep. Well, they have to be elongating their neck. They're crushing their shoulder bones. Oh. Yep. Well, they have to be elongating their neck a little bit, right? You've seen photos of them, right? Yeah. Yeah, we were talking. No, I don't think so. I don't think the neck really stretches like that.

Maybe slightly. I'd say it has to because some of them, I've seen their necks are like, it looks like they're like a foot long. There's no way they're digging in like that far. I think they are. They begin putting the rings on when they're young girls. Yeah. So they develop that way. So their entire lives, they're like a foot long. There's no way they're digging in like that far. I think they are. They begin putting the rings on when they're young girls. Yeah, so they develop that way. So their entire lives, they're just...

I don't think it actually makes their spinal column like longer. Hmm. Another bet. I smell ruin here. Oh, yeah. Josh and I have... Do we have two bets now? I think so, yeah.

What were the terms of the second? The first centipede? Yeah, the second one has to watch the first human centipede. And what was the second bet? I forget already. Okay, well, we'll have to listen to that. Good thing we had everything recorded. Yeah.

Well, let's welcome... Watch the South Park version of the human centipede. Well, the terms of the first bet are... If Dee Snider does the voiceover for MSNBC... Josh says he does not. I'm the loser of this bet. Now, are we saying currently? Did we not just discuss this ten minutes ago?

Let's bet on what we bet on. See, now he's trying to find loopholes. What? At some point in the last decade is what I said. That was what we finally decided upon. Wow. Okay. Well, that's tricky too because we just entered a new decade.

So you just kind of limited yourself here. No. I meant 10 years. 10 years prior. Does decade mean 10 years or is it a specific 10 years like 90 to 2000, 2000 to 2010? Decade is just 10 years.

But it starts from year 0 to year 10 would be the first decade. Wouldn't that be 11 years? No, it'd be 2000 to 2010. Decade is just 10 years. But it starts from year 0 to year 10 would be the first decade. Wouldn't that be 11 years? No, it'd be 0 to 9. 0 to 9. Okay. Are you on board with that? I'm on board. Speaking of being on board, welcome my lady, Amanda Kelly, to the

podcast. Oh, snap. Welcome, Amanda. Hi, Amanda. Thank you. How was your day? Yeah. Long. How was yours? What did I miss? Can we leave the sexual undertones between the two of you out of this? I get it. I know what's going to happen as soon as I

leave. Oh, you look dirty. Do you need a shower? This is how I was supposed to treat our cast today. It's hot in here. You should take your shirt off. Yeah, I should get these dirty clothes off. Let's go all Howard Stern on her.

You like ass play. I heard you like ass play. You like ass play? I heard that about you. Who? Her ex-boyfriend. And it really disturbs me. Just flip it.

Not in front of the lady. Aw. Monsa. Aw. Well, yeah. Monsa's a guest sometimes. She's a guest pretty much on every show. Yeah, but she never gets to sit down and put on earphones and speak about the human centipede and whatnot.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Animals acting like humans is so cute. They think they're people. Destruction worker helmet, maybe. Yeah, you know, I just heard a really crazy story in Valparaiso, Chile. Someone is running around.

It's a city in Chile. I know it's a city, but not everybody speaks Spanish as well as you, so it sounded funny. No, she actually didn't even do the pretentious like, Valparaiso. And isn't it Chile as well? It's Chile.ious, like, Farbristo. Yeah. But it's still just funny. And isn't it Chile as well?

Chile. Okay, sorry. Continue telling us about Chile. But that would be too pretentious to say Chile. Someone's going around spraying dogs with acid in the city, and they have so many stray dogs. And taking them to fish concerts afterwards? Yep.

Acid joke? Nobody? Well, nobody? But it's bizarre. I apologize. I think that sort of mentality happens in the U.S., Yep. Acid joke? Nobody? Well, nobody? But it's bizarre. I apologize. I think that sort of mentality happens in the U.S., but overseas I think it happens much more, especially in South America because they have a detachment from animals the way we do. You're just talking about animal cruelty as a mentality?

Sort of. I mean, I can't speak for the country, but they don't have— But I'm going to right now. They don't have domesticated dogs and treat them like a part of the family like they do in the U.S. Well, I think generally, like, animal rights are, like, you know, more of a first-world issue. Yeah.

When you're poor, I don't think you care all that much about how your goat is feeling existentially. Yeah. But I've been reading a lot of blogs about it. A lot of people are behind it. I mean, they talk about animal cruelty as being a terrible thing. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, like when that guy threw his shoes at george bush in iraq and that that famous clip oh i forgot

about that yeah well he yelled you lay down with dogs he's like you lay down with dogs like threw it at like that's a huge insult especially in the middle east yeah i do too that's the thing like i don't think that translator translates over here right i what I mean? You'd be like, oh, of course I do. Yeah. I let Munza sleep in the bed all the time. I thought he actually handled that pretty respectively. Yeah. He dodged that shoe pretty fast as well.

That was good. He looked excited, too. Like, ah. Hope he throws the other one. And then I like how Iraq's, I think, their prime minister, he just put his right hand up like he was going to stop it, but didn't even come close. It's like the thing,

like your mom did when you were younger, if you're in the front seat, and she stops really hard, and puts her arm in front of you. Like that episode of Home Improvement, where Tim Allen did that to Jenny McCarthy, and there was a red light camera, which appeared to be him touching her breasts.

Oh, that is too funny. That is exactly what I'm talking about. It was Jenny McCarthy? I'm pretty sure she guested on that show and that was what happened. I haven't seen it since middle school. Was she a Heidi replacement or something? No, I think she was just like, here's the new mechanic or something for one episode.

This hot blonde chick. A lot of mechanics look a lot like Jenny McCarthy. Oh, my God. They're everywhere yeah so amanda thanks for filling in for maria alexander who flaked on us wow wow yeah wasn't long ago and he was like i don't know where to talk about that guys who wait the paul bearer was paul bearer was here earlier paul bearer yeah do you don't remember the undertakers uh i liked wrestling, if that's what we're talking about. What?

You don't remember The Undertaker's guy? No. Hey, Paul Sandiford. Bye. Roommates leaving, everybody. Now, what would those people be called in wrestling that they had the person with them? I guess their manager. But he was always like, The Undertaker.

Right. That's how he talked. That's stupid. Why is that stupid? I don't know why, but I can tell you that it is. I can tell you how. Go ahead. Let's take a break. Amanda,

we're back. Let's interview Amanda. Sure. She's our guest. Sorry, I'm blinking out. The dog is bothering me to play fetch. Yeah. It's distracting. Why do you hate animals? Animals? Yeah.

Because they slobber. They're doing what my dog's doing right now. So all animals should be eradicated because they slobber. That's a strong stance. That is a strong stance. Who, that is a strong stance. Who said I hate animals, by the way? I did. Didn't you hear me?

Well, you lie. Occasionally, but not like important stuff. Why do you hate fish? Ooh. And seafood. Yeah, why do you hate the band Fish and why do you hate seafood? The band Seafood? The band Fish.

Seafood. And tie-dye. Why do you hate the band Fish and why do you hate Seafood? The band Seafood? The band Fish. Seafood. And tie-dye. Why do you hate the rapper Seafood? Letter Seafood. He's subpar. Yeah, you never heard MC Seafood and MC Dysentery? Those two are related. In more ways than one.

Often they are. You're not a fan of Seafood, though? No. Do you not know anything of seafood, though? No. Do you not know anything? Have you ever met me before? You are Michael Morun. Keep going. Morun?

Close. I don't know. Wait, Michael Moran, social security number 214-69721. Pretty close, I think. Four? I hope you didn't just give yours away. Yeah, I just say my own. You live at 2921.

Blood type. 21722. 2021. No. Oh, crap. No, I gave her whatever is on my phone. That's the name of that TV show, 2021. 2021.

Good night on 2021. 20, 20 fun. Give me a break. What if we had a parody called Give Me a Rake? And we just go to small town America and we're like, give me a rake. Give me a rake. Give me a rake. Break me off some of that.

I would think it would be funny to do like really bad pun parodies, you know? You know how people make like parody if it's a pun? Yeah. What if we did something like that? Like, loving this podcast. Full house, full mouse. And it's a bunch of mice

in a house? Yeah. Okay. Alright. Starring Mouse Saget. mice in a house yeah okay all right um all right i'm starring mouse saget what what if we did one on um the vietnam war and we had mouse say tongue uh i don't think mouse a tongue was was really associated with the Vietnam War. He was involved a little bit. Was he? I think China was supporting them a little bit. Well, probably.

That whole communist thing. They were probably supporting him. But I don't really think of Mao when I think of the Vietnam War. I don't think many people do. It was a good pun, though. Mao Zedong. They should have watched the, what was that called, the Cultural Revolution? They, like, destroyed everything. That was terrible. Why should I have went with the, what was that called? The cultural revolution. They destroyed everything.

That's terrible. Why should I have gone with that? Because that's more associated with Mao. Oh, okay, I got it. I'm on a first name basis with Mao. Maui, baby, honey, come on. Chill out on the cultural stuff. Mao Tse Tung sounds like some crazy children's book

that could be propaganda for little kids to be... That's where they can use the mouse. It's like mouse-a-tongue. Like fracked a dinosaur. I'm mouse-a-tongue. My belongings belong to everyone. Have you seen that picture of them

destroying that ancient Confucian statue? No. That's thousands and thousands of years old and was considered holy for a long time. And they're just smashing it away. Wow. That must feel liberating. Is there some more depressing stuff you want to bring up? Poverty.

Okay. A lot of it going on. A lot of poverty. A lot of it going on in North Korea. Yep. I just saw a documentary on these two guys' trip to North Korea. And they had a great time. Did they?

No. No, not at all. Have you ever seen any of the Vice Guide to Travel stuff? You would enjoy it. Yes, I think I have. Wasn't there one

with, like, the suicide forest or something? Was that them? Possibly. They go to a lot of fucked up places like Liberia, Congo.

I'm pretty sure I saw a video of the suicide force in Japan that was on Vice. But I think it's the last time I've checked out that site. I should. Yeah, there's a lot of good documentaries on there. But yeah, when they go to North Korea, they technically go as journalists. So everything is pretty much faked for them. This is what we normally do and stuff like that but it's the most bizarre situation like it's so bizarre to watch someone may have told me about

that possibly amanda i think someone told me current guest amanda kelly now now oh yes oh i i was probably talking about it for a day after i watched it yeah that's what i normally do how did you watch it a few months ago maybe isn't that lame when like you see something you just want to talk about it no one knows what the fuck you're talking about yeah i god that's probably my worst habit yeah whatever book i read or documentary i watch it's all i'll talk about for about a week me too yeah i was doing that to jason after i saw the north korea documentary jason schwab and it's tough because all I do is watch videos of myself performing

This guy man Is if you performing we can always talk about that Yeah, good, you know not just you doing stand-up either like you cutting up vegetables Yeah, I mean, I'm really just any type of art I think I have practicing masturbating said it people can just watch and listen to endlessly. Multiple? You have multiple personalities? Is that what you said?

Yep. What? No. I don't believe that. Well, I do. Doesn't everyone know, kind of? Don't you have a different person? Aren't you kind of a different person when you're, like, sad or frustrated?

Or around black people? Josh. What? Is that not where you were going? Is that not where you were going? Around black people? Not tonight? I doubt it.

Not tonight or any other night. No, sir. I got to go soon. Yeah, that's true. All right. Maybe we can wrap this up. This will just be a quick one. Sorry, dig heads.

We didn't have Maria Alexander. I guess we'll try to reschedule with her. No dig heads, I apologize. Oh, no. I think you've been

on a lot of the podcasts too just for like a couple seconds. Like, hey, how you doing on your way out? Amanda's a reoccurring

background character. Yeah, I'm glad that you graced the mic. You're welcome. We'll get more depth with you at another date when our guest doesn't show up.

All right. Dig Sesh Dancers, did you like that Amanda was on the podcast? Oh, yeah. Yeah, they did. Oh, Mike Colligan says he has a really great pooping his pants story to tell. Okay, we'll bring him on. I don't know if he's willing to come on, though.

All right. Well, I'm glad you brought that up. No, but we have to force him to, I think. Poop his pants? No, come on the show. And poop his pants? Well, he's already, well, I mean, if we want to bank a couple of pants pooping stories. Well, you should ask for people to send you their personal accounts of pooping their pants now.

Why don't you ask? You're just as live as we are. I, this is not my podcast. Just ask. That's all right. Back off. Josh, shut up. May everyone come forward, please, with your poop, your pants stories so we can share them with all the digheads.

Yeah, and we just share experiences. Well, I was just about to say that, actually. If digheads, I know you're're listening and we need your help um we need you to rate us on the itunes and leave a comment if you can because there's a certain algorithm in itunes in the way that your podcast moves up the charts uh with recommendations and things like that so once you go to the itunes home page podcasts for comedy, the more popular podcast with more ratings and subscribers. Mike, hold on. Trying to help out the podcast here.

But if we go further up, we can get more popular comedians and such when they come to town. I think they'll be more likely to come on the podcast. Oh, they have a pretty big listener. They're on iTunes. Like the goddamn podcast. Is it that difficult? You got to be a little tougher with the man shot. They have a pretty big listener. They're on iTunes. Like the goddamned podcast. Is it that difficult? You got to be a little tougher with the fans, Sean.

You fucking pieces of shit. You haven't liked it yet. How dare you? I know this is not the first time I've asked either. How much does this cost again, by the way? Free. Yeah, free. Wow.

It actually costs us money to fucking put this thing out. I know, I know. Thousands of dollars. Grateful bastards. Pieces of shit. You stupid, ugly. Ugly. A lot of them are very ugly. Inside and out.

Yep. Inside and out. Most of them more ugly on the outside. This is comedians we're speaking of, right? Some of them. Probably. I can vouch for that. Well, if they're not funny, they're funny, funny fucking looking.

We're good with the PR, I've noticed. Yeah. So, yeah. Thanks. All right, you ugly bastards. Thanks for not doing more. No, we're working on T-shirts and a website and all that stuff. So we'll try to get a podcast out soon. Again. I think every Monday.

But maybe we'll... If we get Maria in here before then or another comedian. We've got several other people that want to be on. Fairly. Okay. Cool. So we've got some shows lined up. Thanks again, Dig Heads.

Thanks, guys. Love ya. Like our Facebook page. You're not really ugly. You're beautiful. But sometimes you can be really selfish. Aww. I love you.

Nice. Wow. Live. Nice. Wow, live. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I'm pretty sure your girlfriend just professed her love to me.

I love you. No, that was a digression session dancer. Oh. That's not your girlfriend? I love you. No. I thought Amanda was saying that live every time. I love ya. No, that was the digression session dancer. Oh. That's not your girlfriend? I love ya. No. I thought Amanda

was saying that live every time. I love somebody. The black chick over there? That's the digression session dancer.

I love ya. All right, I gotta go. Thanks for being on the show, Amanda. No, no, thank you. Thank you for having me. Thank you. Bye.