The Digression Sessions - Ep. 142 - Josh & Mike Solo! (@BetterRobotJosh & @MichaelMoran10)

Episode Date: November 17, 2014

Follow Us On Twitter! @BetterRobotJosh – Josh Kuderna @MichaelMoran10– Mike Moran @DigSeshPod – For Podcast Updates! Hola Digheads! We thought we may be spoiling you lately with all these famous people episodes, so Josh and Mike decided to drop an old-fashioned solo ep (it's for your own good, listeners). The boys went back to basics and reflect on all that has happened since they started this thang three years, ago, and wouldn't you know it, they get all mushy about how grateful they are to be living their dreams! Josh also speaks about his recent stint hosting for the great Kevin Nielin, and Mike gets to talk about his favorite subject, the mid-90s, East coast, West coast, rap feud! Thanks for three amazing years Digheads! Please do the boys a solid and subscribe to and rate us on iTunes, or Stitcher! Say hi on Twitter and Facebook. And check out the rest of the Thunder Grunt podcast network!

hey everybody i'm josh kaderna and i'm mike moran and you're listening to the digression sessions podcast a baltimore-based comedy talk show hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers. Join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence. As we interview local and non-local comedians, writers, musicians, and anyone else we find creative and interesting. Yes. Who's the guest this week all right the guests are me josh kaderna and my good friend coffee mike moran's on my answer to uh this is going to be a a guest list episode just the host list guest list we're going to go over a nice guest list of people that denied us. We should do that.

One full hour of people that will not that will not do the show. No, we had some stuff planned. Some stuff fell through. And I think we've gotten spoiled a little bit with really good guests. So, you know, we don't want to spoil the fans either. We got to bring everybody back down there. We don't want to spoil the fans either so we got to bring everybody back down to earth yeah we uh we don't want you getting too uh cocky don't get too used to having a good guest on the show let's not get crazy all right we'll be back to like farting into the microphone

and chewing pizza and watching uh uh human centipede good Good old episode three. We really hit our shirt. I think episode three was the one where we were eating pizza and all that. Me calling my childhood video story. Because we got an argument over whether the sign was an oven or something like that. Yeah.

Why would that be an argument? No way. I'll call. They'll tell you. It's like, all right. Let's take a break. Yeah. Pat Nozzle must have heard that episode, and that's what convinced him. He's like, I got to fly to Baltimore right away.

Okay. So to our new listeners, this is going to be just Mike and I, who are longtime friends. Podcast has been around for like three years now. It's crazy. Three years and change. So the podcast even started as a nice way of you and i just hanging out yeah and we've kind of reverted to old form um on this one because uh as of late you know we've been doing a lot of mobile podcasts sometimes you can't make it we'll get guests to fill in so this will be a

nice quick uh catch-up session and uh and uh remember what each other looks like and the things that we enjoy. But we're going to plug some shows, right? And the things that we enjoy. And the things that we enjoy. In my head, I still sometimes get you confused with my roommate from years ago that

reminded me of you. Don't you call me number... What was the guy's name? McClane. Am I McClane too? You're definitely funnier than him. He was pretty funny, but you're funnier. Oh, thank you.

Well, it's nice to be respected. John McClane. All right. So some stuff to plug here. First of all, follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Twitter and Instagram, I am at BetterRobotJosh

on both of those. Michael's just on the old Twitters. Michael Morantin. There it is. I'll be on Instagram soon. Nice. I cannot wait for your questions about Instagram. I cannot wait. How do I poke people? Josh, I got

no one in my top eight on the Instagrams. Help me. I can't find Tom. Where's Tom? Is Tom liking my pictures, Josh? Tom. Joshua, help. And then the podcast itself is at DigSeshPod, and that has all the podcast updates,

and we'll retweet shows that we're doing and all that stuff. If you want to see us live, go to digressionsessions.com slash calendar, and that has all of our upcoming improv and stand-up dates, which we have a bunch uh happening soon speak for yourself and uh yeah so let's get in let's get into that real quick so this week uh november 18th i'll be at the crown performing on the wham city comedy night doing stand-up and then uh this weekend upcoming weekend, 11-21 Friday, I will be doing stand-up with Michael Johnson,

past guest on the show. We'll be doing a duo, just him and I. It's called Johnson and Joshson, which is, that's a fun name, huh? That'll actually be a really good show. That'll be at the Mercury Theater here in Baltimore on Charles Street. And then on the 22nd, I'll be doing an improv show with another troupe called Gus, and that'll be at the Mercury Theater and then I'll also be doing

like a live podcast at Hamden Mansion. It's a mansion here in our neighborhood and so go to digressionsessions.com slash calendar and that will have the addresses and ticket info

and all that stuff. So check that out. Now, Michael, I believe you have some corrections to make. Quick retraction. The headlining show at the Creative Alliance, I've been advertising it as two days after Thanksgiving. Yep.

That's the best I could do as far as date. It is actually one day after Thanksgiving. Amazing. Well, more like half a day after Thanksgiving. It's not a full day after Thanksgiving. Black Friday. Yes. Black Friday.

I could advertise it as that, couldn't I? Yeah, there you go. All right, so Black Friday show starring Mike Moran. Headlining. There it is. Headlining. Hey. All right?

Hey. I got my name in the frickin' city paper. There you go. Yeah. There you go. 1128. Be there. Ben O'Brien. You didn't say where it is. At the you go. Yeah. There you go. 1128. Be there.

Ben O'Brien. You didn't say where it is. At the Creative Alliance. Okay. I'm headlining. Be there. Figure out where, pal. You figure it out.

Ben O'Brien will be there. Uh-huh. Ivan Martin will be there. Doing some stand-up. Yes. Nice. And I will also be doing improv November 22nd at the Mercury with Josh. Oh, yeah. We won't be performing together.

But our troops will be. Well, they won't be performing together. No, but on the same bill. They'll be on the same bill. Yes, come to that. It's going to be a lot of fun. And the 20th, I will be doing stand-up at Kelsey's in Ellicott City. Did you figure out what Kelsey's is?

I think I'm opening for Tommy's and Bozzo or something. All right. Maybe I'll put it at the end of the podcast, but when we sat down to start this podcast, we talked for like five or six minutes about you and your problems with technology. Did you record it? Yeah, it's on there's it's on there it's

on there so i feel like we go through this all the time it'll just be like if we when is the thing that we talked about it's like mike it just scroll up it's right there like oh shit all right if we like ever have a lawsuit if we ever like sue each other like there's no way i'm gonna be like oh i could have have ran it all myself. You know what I mean? You'll just be able to bring up these recordings. Yeah, the behind the music. He just wouldn't let me take the reins.

I was basically the brains of it, but I felt bad for the kid. I let him do it. It's like, let the baby have his bottle. Yeah, you got to like, I wanted to encourage him. It's kind of a work thing. I already had so much. It's like, let him enjoy it. So first of all, yeah yeah you've been plugging the show that it's two days after thanksgiving i don't

the best part was i don't know the date but i know that it's two days after thanksgiving maybe it's saturday we sit down today it's like uh that's that's friday you're like oh shit what have i been saying and then our friend posted today that he's on his way to New York listening to the podcast, and you're like, what? What, is he trying to hang out with us? Yeah. What does that mean? How did he word it?

He worded it weird. Or don't look it up, because it's going to take you a long time. Do not look it up. When the symbols entered my head, they came out as weird. The symbols? The symbols that he made with those lines and circles and stuff on Facebook. What is it? The hieroglyphs?

What, I need a goddamn Rosetta Sten? Long drive to NYC, listening to Josh Kaderna, Michael Moran, no and, and the digression sessions. No capitalization on that. That's a problem. Along with some crab feast. Uh-huh. No capitalization on that That's a problem Along with some crab feast So you can see how I mistook that for We're going to do a podcast in New York

Or something like that And I rest my case Lionel Hutz You rest your case No no no sorry I mean I rest my case I can't believe it's a law firm. So what's been going on, man?

So we did the Brian Husky episode last week, which was a ton of fun. He was really cool. Yeah, he was. So interesting and talented. It was inspiring, too, to hear that he started at 29. Yeah. Yeah, it's awesome. Pretty rad.

Apparently, Danny Glover didn't act until he was 28. Really? Mm-hmm. Oh. And Hitlerver didn't act until he was 28. Really? Oh. And Hitler wasn't a dictator until he was like 50. Took him some time. He was working the open mics.

No, he really kind of was, actually. He like, he started doing speeches in beer halls. Yeah, yeah.

That's how he started. Yeah, and they're like, not bad, huh? It's inspiring. He's like, follow me on Twitter.

Why does he sound like he's Middle Eastern? Hey, buddy, come on. That was before he got his accent together. He did look younger than he was. He was 50? I think so. I think he was in his 50s. Yeah.

He dyed his hair and stuff. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, keep it black. He fought in World War I. Yeah, I know that. I know know that and he was a vegetarian and that's actually kind of a myth is it from what i heard i think he uh you know how he had like really bad flagellants towards the end of his life no yeah that's why that's actually some people say like his farting is what caused him to lose world war ii what because that's what supposedly that's what got him hooked on amphetamines what do you like because it like tightened up his stomach or something or like i

think well that's the vegetarian thing too he's trying like different uh cures or whatever so he's just eating a ton of beans and stuff like beans and rice yeah he tried a vegetarian diet before he died and he also got addicted to amphetamines to relieve the pain or something and that's probably why he uh decided to to make the terrible decision of uh invading russia oh you mean like he was just all jacked up like yeah yeah we're gonna do that yeah we're gonna yeah yeah yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's right i'm gonna rule the whole fucking world baby and everybody's like yeah yeah good good idea. I think he was like anti-cigarettes and alcohol, too.

I think he didn't think that he was a doper. Okay. All right. Well, I'm sure he justified it in his own way. I doubt he had Grateful Dead posters up in his board. You don't think so? Turn the blacklight on. Flick the switch, yeah.

Mike Stork always brings up a good point that he has the laziest heil hitler you ever see those yeah that's like he just like he just like flicks his hand up which is true it's like you're howling 500 times a day yeah yeah yeah okay um yeah yeah yeah if the war lasts another year he'd probably just get like a a like a hand patch on his shoulder okay yeah yeah yeah no more. No more. All right. There is some comedian on some podcast who said they love it when they're in a cab and somebody hails it and they don't realize that they're already in it

because you can pretend he's Hitler and just put his hand up like he's in a parade or something. Hey, how are you? Hello. Hello. So what's been going on, Mr. Moran? Same old stuff. Same old yeah well things grinding it out

i've really got i've got my life to where i want it exactly so i don't think anything's ever going to change uh-huh nice unless it's bad you know uh-huh uh-huh uh but yeah i've got a you know i want to upgrade stuff eventually but i i have everything that i've ever wanted to do i'm rolling what are we talking here? Like a kitchen remod? That's bathroom remod. Yeah. Some granite countertops. My dreams.

Yes. Don't I wish it. Don't I wish it. My own bread maker. You know, pasta is just not as good unless I make it myself. Nice crisp pair of jeans. Got to iron those jeans gotta do that gotta get a nice crease in the old denim you know what people call jeans crisp really what

what oh oh like crisp yeah um so uh so you're comfortable in that like you got a nice amount of income right uh relative to my happiness, yes. To what you need. Yes. Or, yeah, what I need to be happy. You got a little scratch left at the end of the day to get some Burger King. Yeah. I hope I would never get to a place where I didn't have that type of scratch.

Trying to get that Burger King scratch. I don't think I'd be happy at that point. I'm going to keep climbing that ladder. And then maybe I'll get that Junior Whopper scratch. Didn't Tupac call Biggie's Junior Mafia click his Junior Whopper? Zing. Nailed it. Nailed it.

Yeah, but you're performing a lot. I was going to say a lot. You're performing a lot i was gonna say a rot you're performing a lot yeah um you know i'm uh i'm definitely not moving as quick as you are but i think you're kind of leaving a lot of people in the dust i don't i don't think so i mean it's what it's what no you're definitely like moving up the ladder pretty quickly well yeah yeah and i mean i i think it's like uh thank you i think it's all my talent i appreciate that no I think it's like... Thank you. I appreciate that. I think it's all my talent. I appreciate that. No, I think it is kind of just relative to being just stuff that's offered to you.

You know what I mean? Yeah, of course. I talk to FNAZO about this all the time. And I think we talked about in the Brian Husky episode where people are like, why is so-and-so getting that? Why can't I get that? And I kind of feel like it's going to happen for everybody. It just happens at a different rate sometimes. Yeah, definitely. why is so-and-so getting that? Why can't I get that? And I kind of feel like it's going to happen for everybody. It just happens at a different rate sometimes.

Yeah, definitely. I've been really lucky to be doing some good shows and stuff and working at clubs. A lot of luck. A ton of luck. A ton of luck. And then we forget, too, that this career, being two years into something that you hope will last your entire lifetime. So then you're like, oh, why am I not doing this?

No, that's definitely. Yeah, I'm definitely not resentful or anything. Yeah. And plus, I was trying to economize a little bit more. I'm just kind of doing every Baltimore open mic that I can constantly before I really try to put myself out there. So I got a solid product. Yeah. Because I can't afford to. I don i don't know i gotta make my car last i don't need to be driving to dc every day and like yeah like that i mean there's definitely more opportunities

down there too i think you should get down there and get yeah i will but but like i said i want to like really make sure i have my foundation solid yeah yeah but i mean it yeah that's the thing too it's like you really you don't get that many opportunities to be new either right once people have kind of seen you they're like yeah but there is a thing too where they're like oh so-and-so's gotten funny or you know yeah and then like um so yeah i i appreciate that but yeah i've definitely felt like good about like the stuff that i've been getting but then i'm just really hard on myself like i gotta write more i'm not writing enough and then like you know but i maybe every comedian has that but i'm like oh i'm lazy yeah it is also like uh i don't know i mean i feel

like i'm in this for the long haul and i think you probably are too yeah so like i'm not gonna beat myself up too much about things like that like i don't know i try to write one add-on or one something that i can use on stage a day right and if i concentrate enough i think like most of the time it'll work you know what i mean yeah and i feel like that's a that's a you know it adds up you know yeah jim meyer came out to the the mcgooby shows uh the kevin nealon show and he was like yeah i thought you were he's like i thought you're really funny and the the crowd is on your side but can i give you criticism it's like yeah please please please but inside i'm like only good stuff only good stuff but uh he's like it's not a bad thing but i feel like you're there's more to explore in your bits you know it's like oh okay that's i mean which

is like kind of a negative and a positive like where you're like well i'm done with that but there's still meat on the bone you know so it's a good thing to be like oh i can explore that a little bit more and maybe that's the next stage of like exploring more material and like kind of seeing like where you can actually take it right besides be like oh that's that laugh and now on to the next thing i think you probably have like a that that right balance of um reality and uh character you know yeah like where you could probably like go in and out somewhat yeah that's kind of what i've been doing like the earlier stuff was sort of like one-linery and so i'll do that stuff like when i'm hosting and you know right um so uh quick story uh the the mcgoobies thing uh with kevin nealon which was insane he's 62 by the way is he really yeah and he's also six four i'm not surprised by that he's tall six four is big tall man but um

so all the shows were sold out right and uh one of the shows uh the goobies holds 292 people and so for the first show on saturday we're going to start and there's like 30 people in the lobby, like people that haven't been sat yet. And what happened was when seating people, it's like seating at a restaurant, same way at a club. So if you have three people and you put them at a four-top, like a four-seat table, now there's an open seat. And then the next group of three or four want to sit at their own table, but there's that open seat. They're like, so would you sit here? They're like, like no i don't want to be separated from my group right so it

was sat like that so the place is sold out there's there's enough seats for everybody but they didn't want to sit by themselves or two people didn't want to sit with the other two people and stuff like that so i had to start the show with like a refugee camp to like the left of the stage that are pissed off and i'm just like hey everybody are we all having fun and i felt comment on it i was i was really torn like i didn't know like because as the host you're supposed to be like the guy who's like hosting a party like you're like we're all having fun and blah blah so i didn't want to like i in comedy you always have to point out like the weird thing in the room or whatever and then people like it unites people you look like a fucking weirdo if you're like you know if the

light's blinking you're just like everything's normal or there's a noise but yeah i felt like really ill-equipped in that moment i was like oh no what do i say about this but meanwhile still trying to do my material and stuff but then then when the feature was up, he made a joke like, yeah, at this club, you got to show up on Tuesday to get in for the Friday show or something like that. And even just something, I should have said that. But it was just kind of like a no-win kind of situation. It went well, but it was still kind of weird

hearing murmurs and stuff in the lobby. Yeah, I guess it's always a mix. You don't want to focus too much on the one or two things that are not going right or whatever right and so maybe the other people are enjoying it it's just those people like i'm just hyper sensitive to it or yeah so it's always that's like isn't that like the weirdest feeling in the world to like throw out like if you were to be like hey we got a refugee camp over here or something yeah like that split second after it comes out of your mouth and before you either get or don't get a reaction yeah it's the strangest thing it's like it's vertigo of like i don't know if i'm good enough like right now yeah no it's

you're just like well i hope that lands right or it doesn't just explode in my face all right the absolute worst i did this the other day it's like when you throw something out there it bombs and then like you try to cover it up with something and that bombs too oh you're just digging deeper yeah what the hell was it it was something really stupid that i said the rest of the set was good so i didn't feel that bad about it yeah but it's definitely like what the fuck yeah then i'll have thoughts too i'm like my background's improv and like you know i mean then you're just like i should have something i don't know i feel like it's kind of a different muscle like it helps but it's like not the same thing like the dynamics a little bit different but i do i mean i do i am able to like mess around a

little bit but i still feel like something like that like i should have had something like hey what and that's probably how it would have come out and everybody like huh yeah you know it's yeah i don't i think you're fine i doubt it's that huge of a deal yeah and i talked to andrew that guy didn't comment on those people we all see him why doesn't he say something um so and then another weird thing with the neil and thing um in the green room it's like at mcgoobies it's this tinier room and uh since i was hosting the whole weekend and then uh kevin brought his own feature and they were pretty close and kevin seemed to kind of want to keep to himself he wasn't like mean or anything like he was cool but he just like he had his

laptop out he was talking to his family and he was like likely in black was kind of the same way yeah and they're just getting their notes together and you're like oh yeah i mean this is the part where it's like a job for them you know right and then so um but he like people kept showing up like friends of friends i was never sure like at one point i think his uh brother-in-law's sister came or something like that does Does he have family around here? I guess she lives in Annapolis or something like that. So it's brother-in-law's sister. So it's like pretty thin as far as connection.

But she came back there. So there are people in and out of the green room, right? And the second show Saturday, I go backstage. I do my set and then I bring up the feature and then i go backstage and the second show is normally when i eat so i'm like okay second show everything's kind of wrapping up i've done my thing i can eat and i just didn't want to be you know i don't like to eat too close before shows have like blood in my stomach and just kind of feel lethargic or whatever blood in your stomach that's how it works when you're digesting all your bloods in your stomach really yeah yeah so uh at least that's what i've heard

and i repeat into microphones yeah then it comes out with my poop and you know you gotta you got a bowl full of uh blood in the toilet and you flush it down you move on that's what you do you know uh so i go backstage and uh there's like three or four i think four like four people like in their like late 20, early 30s, and they're kind of drunk and they're hanging out with Kevin. And they're like, oh, yeah, we know Jay. This guy Jay Black was the feature. And he's like, oh, okay.

And Kevin was just being very, very cool about it. And then he had music playing. He had little speakers hooked up to his iPod. And I feel like some jackson five song or something jackson five something was on he had it on like some like pandora station and like uh it was some song and dancing machine something like that but he's singing along and then they all started singing together and they actually sounded really good and i was like they must all be friends and like it was really was really weird. And there was no... You had this moment of like Kevin Nealon harmonizing

with a room full of drunken people to the Jackson 5. Yeah, yeah. Something like that. I don't know if it was Jackson 5, but it was in that vein of like, you know, something really easy. Like the ABC 123 kind of thing. And so I was like, all right, well, I'm just going to eat.

Eat my food out in the lobby. So the feature does his thing. I bring him down. Then I go backstage with him. And I'm going to grab a water out of the lobby so the feature does his thing i bring him down then i i go backstage with him and i'm gonna grab a water out of the green room and uh those people are still there and now kevin nealon's on stage and then jay's talking to them like oh yeah blah blah they go so how do you know kevin and they go oh we don't know we know you so then we know you through kevin he's like i don't know you and i was like oh this is weird so these people just lied really they just went backstage i don't know

if they lied to the hostess because or whoever or some staff member was like hey we're friends with so and so and they're like oh okay back there or they just went like went backstage and were like we know the guy really and that's how cool kevin nealon is he's like okay that's crazy yeah i wonder if that's like a thing that people do regularly just i don't think so no because the owner like at mcgoobies is really pissed like i just mean like in general with famous people i guess like you see that in movies like whenever there's like a bodyguard or whatever it's like no no i know master p like all right little bow wow i know who is his son little romeo excuse me jayden smith all right jayden smith you

get in there but uh yeah it was uh it was interesting and then i was talking to kevin afterwards it was like was that weird he's like no they were okay but like i was like well it's pretty nice super mellow that's pretty nice yeah yeah he like what was his stand-up like his stand-up was um it was really funny it was like his style is kind of like it's silly and kind of absurdist in a way right but it's he's so quick and so him like it just uh almost catches you off guard like he was doing a bunch of stuff. Even just in conversation, I was like, hey, are you going to be taking any pictures tonight? Because you have to say that.

Like, hey, see Kevin in the lobby if you want a picture. He goes, no, no pictures. Unless they're cute. And then just kind of looked away. So it's stuff like that where it sounds kind of dumb, but his delivery, just how quick he is. Yeah, I think he's like my number one news guy from snl yeah from the years that i watched like he was like as far as characters or did he host weekend update yeah yeah for years yeah at least it felt like years

because that's like when i first got into snl yeah like i still think of him as like the news guy right right i think i didn't even realize that they like changed news guys over the years for a long time like wait a minute kevin nealon and dennis miller are the same person i came in just after dennis miller i think yeah hey babe chachi dennis miller here's our latest satellite photo and shows a photo of a satellite yeah yeah he's like very dry but like super silly. And he almost had that kind of Daily Show Stephen Colbert thing going before those guys. But not arrogant. He just flies under the radar, you know what I mean? And yeah, he does a really great bit at the end of the show.

And he's like, all right, I want everybody to... I'm glad you guys had fun. I was great. You had a great time. He used to do little stuff like that. And he's like, but I just want everybody to be careful because I was here about a year ago

and I had what the cops might call an incident. I was here. I only had like one beer. I had one beer all night and I'm driving back to the hotel and I'm out here on... And he was like pointing. He's like, I'm out here on... And somebody goes like, 83? He goes, yeah, yeah, I'm driving back to the hotel and I'm out here on, and he was like pointing. He's like, I'm out here on, and somebody goes like, 83?

He goes, yeah, yeah, I'm on 83. And I'm driving down and then it's at the intersection of whatever roads right there. And they're like, Chinquapin? He's like, yeah. Yeah, I'm at the, yeah, he goes, yeah, or whatever like street they yelled out. He's like, yeah, I'm at the intersection of 83 and Chickawah. And like slowly starts like whatever they yelled out he's like yeah i'm at the uh i'm at the intersection of 83

in chikawa and uh like slowly starts like whatever they're saying he just twists it so it's like this really it was cool it was like sort of like an improv exercise yeah and he would just he would go with whatever they were saying you know he's like these guys pull up next to me and in the car there's probably about i don't know and he's like doing a thing where he's like circling like his hands kind of like waving like help me out and he's like there's about and somebody goes like 40 he's like yeah there's about 40 guys in this car and i don't know how they're all fed in that car that's i mean i unbelievable but before i know it they got me out i'm out of the car and i'm completely and they go naked and he's like naked was the weirdest thing that's awesome yeah it was really cool and then at some

point like he keeps going with it and then he does another thing he's like yeah and i'm down by the water and the only thing i wanted to do and they were like go swimming he's like hey who's telling the story here all right and like kind of like flips it on him and i was like that's that's good that's good and he came back for like six or seven seven standing ovations that weren't happening. Like I would bring him off. He'd just come back. Yeah. He'd just insist on walking back.

Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. So I brought him off stage and then it's like, have a nail and let him hear it. And he was just standing there and people were clapping. Some people are standing and then he comes back up and he's like, wow, thanks so much. Well, the best part is he ends and he's like kind of pandering a little bit. He goes, all right, guys, that's been the show. like i said i've been great you had a great time you know

this no but seriously baltimore thank you so much go ravens go orioles like has a big thumbs up and then all i get in the crowd like yeah so he gets off stage and like everybody let him hear kevin nealon and then he's just standing there and he like has his hand up and he's like oh wow like kind of does that thing like oh you, you shouldn't. I'm touched. So he just interrupts you? Well, no. He's off to the side of the stage. Then he starts walking back on stage. It's like, oh, it's Kevin Nealon. He's coming back, everybody. And I hand him the mic and he goes, all right, guys. Wow. I'm very touched. Thank you so much. I know I'm your favorite comedian,

but it's a long night. We got another show coming. So, but wow, guys, thank you so much i know i'm your favorite comedian but you know it's a long night we got another show coming so but wow guys thank you so much all right good night then i do the same thing you know we shake hands go i'm like kevin neal and let him hear it and then before like you start walking back on stage and he seriously does this like six times this is great and by like the fifth time he's at he's mad at the audience he's just like he gets to the mic and he's like this is ridiculous like what are you guys doing and meanwhile people aren't clapping anymore so finally like the last time i bring him up he just goes up to the microphone and just looks around the room doesn't say anything just gives everybody the finger and walks off the stage while giving everyone the finger nice i feel like that's like creative stand-up performance yeah

he's got going it's not like the same old thing that you know yeah and he's been doing it for years he yeah he does some pretty crazy stuff did i tell you one of his older bits that he used to do where he'd put charcoal on people's faces no he would do a thing where he would say he's like a caricature artist or you know like the people like you know draw like the silly pictures and stuff so he would have an easel on stage and be like it was anybody you know I used to do this does anybody want to come up and I'll give you a character and they're like sure so so he'd be you know they bring him up and he's starting to draw and what they didn't know was in his his like his

thumb it was covered in charcoal so and it but then he was actually like drawing at the same time with like his right hand but his left hand had charcoal on it and he would do a thing like photographers or artists would do it can you move your head to the side a little bit so like he would put his thumb like on her chin to like move it that's awesome just draw charcoal and the crowd just cracking up but they think it's off of the picture he's like guys come on i know i'm not that good i know but meanwhile there's a person on stage with shit up, but they think it's off of the picture. He's like, guys, come on. I know I'm not that good. But meanwhile, there's a person on stage with shit all over their face. Because it's like, no, how about a little bit to the left?

Can you bring it down? I'm going to come up with more creative stuff like that. It takes such balls to do that. I forget that you can do whatever you want. Yeah, that there are no rules. Yeah, you can bring people on stage. You can do weird things. Yeah.

Yeah, he did a Q&A section in the the middle too, which was weird, but interesting. He told a story about Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson smelled his fart once. He said he farted so bad. Jack Nicholson was like, Jesus Christ, who died or something like that. What did he work on a movie or something with him? I think they were in Anger Management, that Billy Madison, that Adamson. Happy Gilmore production.

Yeah, yeah. Happy Gilmore joint. Happy Madison joint. The Faces of Death joint. By Spike Lee. So, yeah, it was very surreal. It was cool. Then the feature, Jay Black, he was awesome

and had a bunch of good advice and stuff. So it was cool, man. Nice. It was good. And then I'm at the Harrisburg Comedy Zone tonight. Tonight? Yeah. Yeah.

So I was there last night. And then the building that it's in is unmarked, which is really fucking weird. So it's like a warehouse or something? It's like a bar slash hotel and then sort of like the not the the like ballroom is basically where the the comedy zone is but there's seriously no sign like if you don't know where how to get there i don't know how the fuck you would get that like it's one of those things where you have your gps and it's like you have arrived and it's like i'm in an intersection where the fuck right so i had to call the owner and he's like oh i see you it's like i'm in an intersection where the fuck right so i had

to call the owner and he's like oh i see you just drive up to the unmarked doors it's a terrible description weird isn't there like kind of some marketing thing with that like where it makes it feel like exclusive oh yeah like i know where the comedy zone is yeah maybe yeah i don't know you'd still think that it would be better business to have a sign yeah we're working on a sign like hopefully someday we can afford one yeah i was talking to the the uh the headliner and he's like yeah i showed up early and i was like you know maybe maybe i'm just early i'm sure at some point they'll illuminate a sign or something nope there's like grass growing out of the parking lot and stuff you're like and i talked to somebody about it they're like oh yeah yeah

like when it looks like it's a place where you where it looks like you're gonna get anally raped that's it perfect great very excited but it was fun man it was uh it was a smaller crowd but it was cool cool i was uh i was a little nervous up front like i heard my voice shake and i was like oh god what was that it was weird like it was one of those things yeah like yeah yeah and i was like right yeah i'm kind of fortunate in that like my character kind of on stage is like like i can just kind of be nervous you know what i mean like i can just play nervous guy but like you're more you're more, like, conversational. Right.

Yeah. It's like, this is who I am. Yeah. I'm, like, able to hide a little bit more, I think. Right. Right. In fact, I almost think that I, like, maybe developed my stage presence around nervousness. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Like, I'm nervous on purpose. Right. Yeah. Or, no, I think it's more just, like, well, I'm... There's no way I'm'm gonna have any vibrant stage presence i'm so like freaked out right as well just like do this like awkward uh deadpan type thing yeah yeah but it works yeah no i'm pretty happy with it and i think it's like you know i think you let

those things evolve to like yeah deciding like right away like a lot of comedians when they first start like i think i'll be this type of comedian yeah i feel like it's you do it and you figured out as you've evolved i mean you started out as like pretty much just a one-liner guy now yeah you're definitely more conversational than when you started uh yeah i mean i don't think i was ever i wasn't like a one-liner guy like where i'd like say like one thing and then move on to the next like oh yeah a little bit yeah yeah yeah but it was more like like there's definitely like setup punch less like you know which is good economy of words getting right to it that's right right to it that's right which brings us to our next segment get right to it. The Middle East.

Getting right to it. That would be funny if we just had some completely out of place segment right in the middle of our podcast. And now a word to our Lord or something like that. Or just something really ridiculous like Q-tip talk. And we do it completely straight. But then it really catches on. There's a lot of q heads out there that i love that q tips it is always lame when you listen to podcasts and like you

know how like sometimes they'll do the ad like in the middle yeah and they you just have just like these people that seem like totally cool like are suddenly just like god i just i just love these these deliverable meals and they're so good like you just like tell their fake deliverable meals oh the nuts the nutty the peppercorn nut oh so good oh yeah nature box yeah yeah that said i would love to advertise for a nature box or oh nature box i love nature box oh the sriracha tried the caramel pretzels? No. Oh, wow. Keep me away from those because I will literally. I got to tell you, Mike, I've been too busy eating these delicious blueberry pecans.

I don't even want to hear that. Are you sure? Because I'm going to want to eat some right now. Well, you should because they're healthy. We all know the enemy is the vending machine. Yeah, well, see, that's the thing is it tastes good and it's good for you get the fuck out yeah what if that was the ad get the fuck out don't fucking lie to me on my own podcast fuck nature box and they're bullshit yeah see if we did an ad like that it would have to be like

that or he's getting angrier and angrier like no fucking way liar i know all this shit tastes good it's horrible for you this is just like the time you lied about sleeping with my girlfriend fuck you and karen that said naturebox.com slash digressions sessions podcast your 10 sets off your first nature box uh we'll uh we'll we'll wrap this up pretty soon But another big thing in my life Which I'll show you before you leave my house Your penis? Yeah

Not bad, right? No, I got I did it Went and did the damn thing Went and got electronic drums Oh I forgot about those You told me i've been doing

that a lot they sound great do they can they make other noises besides drums yeah can they make the digression session noises yeah you can load stuff in there really yeah so i could just have a pad i'd just be like oh yeah yeah it's really cool so you can change like something that's supposed to be a tom you can make that a symbol you can make it a conga whatever awesome yeah it's been really fucking cool yeah like uh the first night that i set them up and it's like well it's kind of late i'm just gonna play for 15 minutes and i'm like and it's 12 30 man it's like are you ever gonna come upstairs like maybe maybe but uh i've been playing along i've been trying to play like there's preset songs in there then there's like metronome and stuff playing to a fucking metronome is so hard yeah i um years ago

i bought some like recording program for the computer and it like took me so long to to get in sync with a metronome yeah why i mean i can do it a lot easier if you're just doing like the basic like dude dude but if you try to like throw in a fill or something like that it's weird like why is it easy to follow drums but like not a metronome yeah but i mean i'm even like playing drums along to it like it gives you a percentage of like how on beat you are really and it's like 34 i was like holy fuck i'm off like you know you think you're like well i'm not bad i can i can carry a beat you're like oh no no i can't no i cannot drummers like use a metronome on stage uh i don't think i don't think so i know that guy from lincoln park wore headphones for a while i think he had a metronome going i think the guitarist guitar yeah guitar player i always wondered why he was wearing

earphones i think it was a metronome but wouldn't you want to like so what the drums would follow him um or maybe he had the drums like just he had those just in his headphones they probably started out as something like a metronome and then he was like well this is my look i'm the headphone guy you know i do remember thinking it looked cool but uh yeah when i was like, well, this is my look. I'm the headphone guy. I do remember thinking it looked cool, but when I was like 19. It is weird. Yeah, the shit that is completely stupid if you or I did it. Or if you saw a local band, like, fucking take the headphones off, dummy.

But you're like, oh, man, dude from Lincoln Park gets it. Wow. He's really blazing his own path up there. I am thinking about getting acoustic turntables. Oh, yeah? Yeah? There you go. I'm just kidding. I know. I was acoustic turntables. Oh, yeah? Yeah? There you go. I'm just kidding.

I know. I was just going with you. Like two Edison coils or whatever. Edison coils? What are those things called? Like the first records? They're all like... There's like cylinders, you know? My man on the Edison coils.

On the cylinders of wax. No, it's a Tesla coil. Yeah, in an Edison coils. On the cylinders of wax. No, it's a Tesla coil. Yeah, in an Edison cylinder. Sure. Edison. On the ones and twos of the Tesla cylinder. You know, there's actually a recording of one of the last ever castratos

on an Edison coil, Edison cylinder. Oh, yeah? Yep. It sounds like a little boy. Yeah, it's really creepy. Onion had some article like, it was like Barack Obama summons Castrati to ease his mood

or something like that. They had a picture of a Castrati in the Oval Office laying Obama on his desk just like with a smile. It was good. It was good. All right, let's wrap this thing up.

All right. Let's do it. This is a decent, this is a smaller podcast. We're going to try to get some guests in, but hopefully this will be the methadone to your usual digression sessions. Heroin. Methadone of the metronome. Hey now.

It would be the metronome of your methadone. Ow, I just pulled a muscle or something. Mike is just sitting in a chair. Mind you, you're getting older and all something. Mike is just sitting in a chair. You're getting older and all. Don't understand technology. So are you. And you hurt yourself sitting there.

Yeah, I am pretty much in pain all the time now. Anyway, good time. Just disregard that. Hey, cool, man. Well, who gives a shit? Well, listen, let's get you healed. Okay. And thanks for coming by after work, man. That was great.

And thank you to everybody for listening. Come see us live, digressionsessions.com slash calendar. Follow us on Twitter. I'm at BetterRobotJosh again. And I'm at Mike Morantetti again. Yeah. And check out our podcast network. We got some new podcasts over there in our network.

Yeah, the new with the Curioso. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love it. It's very interesting. So there's a bunch some new podcasts over there in our network. Yeah, the new with the Curioso. Yeah, yeah. It's very interesting. So there's a bunch of good stuff over there. Thundergrunt.com Check that out and go Naturebox. Naturebox.com slash HitlerWasRight

for 10% off your next bag of sriracha cashews. Anyway, alright. Bye. All right. Bye-bye, everybody. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Thank you. you Was in the hospital, I think, for a brain aneurysm? Uh-huh.

And killed him. Wow. That's him. Wow. That's crazy. Yep. All right, let's see here. Are we recording? We are recording. We're just going to do the intro and just roll with it.

All right. So we'll plug some stuff. No, I got everything now. November 28th, right? All right. No. Two days after. Uh-huh.

No. Wait, is it a Saturday? It should be the 29th then. You mean what? 28th. So Friday. Yeah. Okay. I thought it was a saturday the 28th so that's the day after thanksgiving not two days after because thanksgiving is a thursday god damn i don't fucking know i think it's two days let me look on the creative line oh boy why can't i never do anything see this is like why i i i accept that it's gonna take me a while to like make it in stand-up it's like yeah i know that i'm funny but every everything else like yeah like there's so many other factors there's a lot of shit they're

gonna take years and years for me there's a lot of shit to stay on top of i mean i've been like waiting tables for like a decade and i just got decent at like a year ago that's what that's what they say man they say you know a lot of people start out serving tables and they're like you're not gonna find your voice for like 10 years you know yeah i know and then i think about that it's eight hours a day, five days a week for 10 years. Yeah. And I'm doing stand-up like 10 minutes a night. Yeah, three or four times a week. Yeah. All right.

All right. Do you have the date? Hold on. If it's two days after Thanksgiving, it would be the 29th. Easy there. Oh, my God. You're a wild man. I watched the episode of The Simpsons.

What was it? I watched several of them. I was trying to remember which one I wanted to talk about. Season three. Good old talk about. Season 3. Good old Season 3. Season 3 is solid. Yeah. I would say it's not the peak, though.

I'd say probably Season 4 or 5. Yeah. Well, I don't know. Yeah. I mean, the batting average, I'm just saying. I mean, Season 3 is where they hit their stride, I think. Season 2 definitely has some highlights. It's weird, though.

I don't know if we talked about this before, but it's weird how Simpsons Mania was before The Simpsons was awesome. Oh, it hit pretty much right away, right? Once it became an actual show, yeah. But then they changed everything, which normally would be Poison, but it actually got better. Yeah, and they got away from the gimmicky stuff. They could have fallen into that really easily probably like do the Bart man like every episode how long is it taking you to find your goddamn schedule okay it's the

perfect it's the perfect phones fall look at my Facebook page what on Mike on my phone what oh I thought you're I thought. What? On my phone? What? Oh, I thought you were reaching for my phone. Hold on. Let's see here. Did you start a notes page yet? Yes. And I just gave you the date that's on my notes page.

Is it? Okay. It's the 28th? Mike Moran. Then that's a Friday because you just keep saying. Mike Moran. Yeah. Comedy night.

Creative Alliance. Come on. Why the fuck is everything so hard for me? Okay. Here we go. Mike. Oh, God. You just sent me to the same page that wouldn't work before.

It's Friday Friday November 28th 9pm that's what the but that's not the day after Thanksgiving is it that's literally the day after Thanksgiving well you mean like symbolically it's the day after Thanksgiving no

so like metaphorically speaking it's kind of the day after Thanksgiving no not even literally it of the day after Thanksgiving No not even literally It is the day after Black Friday Martin Luther King Day Okay so it's 1128 right Uh yeah Am I doing stand up or improv

Who am I Alright so yeah it should be the 27th Is Thanksgiving Am I doing stand-up or improv? I'm just kidding. Who am I? All right. So, yeah, it should be the 27th is Thanksgiving. That makes sense. What the hell is Kelsey's? Jesus Christ. All right.

Let's start this thing. All right. Let's do it. Okay. All right. I haven't even been looking at my dates. I've been trying to help you with yours. Oh, good. Full-time job.

It basically is. Woo! I was like on a mission, too. I was like created a new page in my phone. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I just love that you have been plugging all right have i been plugging it wrong you would say two days after thanksgiving because you said it was

saturday the whole brian husky thing really i don't know the day but i know it's two days after thanksgiving i need you to edit that one day go go back and post.