The Digression Sessions - Ep. 164 - Henry Zebrowski (@HenryLovesYou)

Episode Date: August 27, 2015

This week, we have ourselves a phone call w/ fellow podcaster, comedian, and actor, Henry Zebrowski! Henry's a cohost of the Last Podcast of the Left, he plays Gary on Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell, and he'll be on Heroes Reborn this Fall! Let's be friends, friends! @JoshKuderna - Twitter & Instagram @MikeMoranWould - Twitter @DigSeshPod - Twitter Also, like our FB fan page located here! Give us some feedback or post goatsie pics or w/e. AND PLEASE VOTE FOR US AS THE BEST PODCAST IN BALTIMORE! CLICK THIS LINK!

Welcome to the Digression Sessions Podcast. Hey, everybody. I'm Josh Koderna. And I'm Mike Moran. And you're listening to the Digression Sessions Podcast, a Baltimore-based comedy talk show hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers. Join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence. As we interview local and non-local comedians, writers, musicians, and anyone else we find creative and interesting. Yes.

Who's the guest this week? Who's our guest this week, Mike? Henry Zebrowski. Henry Zebrowski is the guest on this week's program. He is a comedian, actor, Satanist. Yes. Believer of aliens. Fellow podcaster as well.

You're a big fan of his podcast. I just got into it. I enjoy it. But you're a big fan. Big fan. Tell got into it i enjoy it but uh i love it you're a big fan big fan tell the people what it's called it's called last podcast on the left i'm a fan of the digression sessions but that's okay never listened to it myself long time uh-huh hater yeah long time recorder never listened yeah um no it's really good man it's uh how would you describe it it's three comedians talking about kind of the uh it's almost like sightings you remember that miniseries sightings

when we were little kind of rings a bell they talk about bigfoot they talk about ufos they talk about serial killers it's like that in the context of of three funny guys yeah and it's very we talk about this on the podcast it's very much not uh a dark humor type of thing they're not making fun of murder they're not making fun of victims no they're just talking about stuff that is interesting to them and kind of making comedic anecdotes along the way and they do a really good job of giving the background of uh of whatever subject is that they're talking about and then kind of like riffing and becoming characters in the story it's all very seamless it's very it's it's informational at the same time which doesn't seem like it it would be but it really is you

learn a lot yeah yeah it's like no other podcast yeah and it's funny as shit and uh yeah i've been really getting into it but um yeah i was excited when you suggested him for the podcast and i was like because i didn't know his name but then when i looked him up i was like oh he's been in a bunch of stuff that i like yeah um really great in uh adult swim show uh your pretty face is going to hell which is great he plays gary and uh if you haven't checked that out i think a lot of them are online they're in the second season now that's on sunday nights 12 15 and uh basically if hell had like cubicles and like demons that were just kind of like like just have like shitty careers but having to do stuff like you know there's still like diarrhea rivers and satan if you fuck up satan's your boss and if you

fuck up he's gonna give you like dicks for fingers that are on fire and stuff like that it's like dante's inferno meets office space pretty much pretty much stuff like that. So it's like Dante's Inferno meets Office Space. Pretty much. Pretty much. Yeah. It's really good. And yeah, he's just done a ton of stuff. He was in Wolf of Wall Street. Yes.

He was in the great Amy Schumer episode with the 12 Angry Men parody, which is amazing. He was in D-Train with Jack Black. If you look him up, you're going to be like, oh, that guy. I love that guy. He's another one of those guys and super talented. And he's going to be in Heroes, Michael.

Heroes Reborn. Reborn in September 24. So check that out. And he's on Twitter at Henry Loves You. And so he was also very nice with this episode. We had to,

had a lot of technical difficulties with the Skype. Had a few issues. had a few issues. I had a few issues. And so eventually, I just had to get the Skype app on my phone, put my phone on speaker, and then put our recorder up to the speaker. So this podcast is definitely going to sound a little bit different

than it normally does. It's going to sound like we might be recording in a giant empty room. Sure. Which we're totally not. Which we're not in an abandoned airport hangar absolutely not just quit the rumors right now yeah we've had it cut it out yeah but if you would like to send clothes and food to an abandoned airport hangar on the shut up i mean yeah pass me the gold cup please yes i'll pass it from my gold toilet that i'm sitting on i need that million and one dollar champagne that we drink it's been a minute since we've eaten jewels we should probably eat some more fine jewels jennifer lopez bring us the jewels uh so yeah so it's

gonna sound a little different but i think it's still definitely uh listenable so apologies for that but it was uh it was a really fun conversation, man. We talked about everything from aliens, SNL, and Satanism. And I'm a Satanist now. He converted me. That was a quick sell. You are that hard. It wasn't that hard. So it feels good. I'm glad to be a Satanist now. I feel good. Do you realize I can manipulate you so easily? Sure you could. Let's see here. So let's promote some stuff before we get into the old interview with Henry. Let's see here.

The month of September, I'm going to promote a bunch of stuff in there. Let's see here. On the 4th, I will be at the Salty Dog Tavern in D.C., 8 o'clock, September 4th. September 4th? It's a Friday. I was trying to sayclock September 4th September 4th It's a Friday I was trying to say Friday and 4th at the same time Friars 4 day I'll be there on September 4th

On the 8th I'll be at the University Of Maryland Baltimore County College doing stand Up there on the 8th on the 9th I'll be at the Impala Cantina In Taqueria doing stand-up there. And then the 10th through the 12th, I will be at

Magoobies hosting for Jimmy Dore in Baltimore, Maryland. And follow me on Twitter. I am at Josh Coderna, also on Twitter at Josh Coderna. And I'm beginning to post... I think you meant to say Instagram. I did. I definitely did. Edit that out.

Or is that just me trying to subconsciously plug my twitter just keep just keep saying it would that work maybe maybe um yeah and then uh i've been trying to maybe put up some youtube videos here and there so yeah the one you have up is very good oh thank you thank you chocolate martinis i believe it's called. Yeah, two chocolate martinis. It's not even about poop. Yeah, well, they don't spoil it for them. I don't want the poop fans to be disappointed. Sorry.

Michael, what do you got? What do you got shows-wise? Let's see. The 28th of August, we're doing a benefit show at the Mercury Theater. That will be a handful of stand-up comedians, including myself, Eric Glazier, Jacob Bennett, and Nick Oldershaw. And we'll be raising money for Jacob's after-school program that he runs for kids in his area. Yeah, it's a really good cause. That is 8 p.m. at the Mercury Theater.

Free to get in. Donate whatever the hell you want. Fucking A. Then the next night at the Mercury, my improv troupe, Pop 6, will be doing some improv. Are you making these up? Sounds like you're making these up and then and then my juggling crew will be doing a ninja show uh no and that's and that's on a boat yes on mars yes okay yes all right the president will be there um on the 16th of september i'll be appearing at the Oyster House. And that's pretty much all I got.

Hopefully, I'll have a new column in Brightest Young Thing soon. That will be about the single-carat theater. And also, I should have a book review in the Skeptical Inquirer pretty soon. The Skeptical Inquirer. So look out for that. Fucking A, man. Find it at Barnes and Nobles. Awesome.

Well, that's all of our kind of individual dates. And while we have you here on this intro, while we're chatting, let's promote some other stuff that we got going on. We're going to be doing a live show together, a live podcast in the nation's capital at Bossa Lounge. And that's going to be September 30th at the Bossa Lounge in DC. And we're going to do our first live podcast in DC. And our guest is going to be Lee Camp of Redacted Tonight. Great comedian, very political. So I'm going to ask him what it's like to follow politics uh day and night i had no idea not want to kill yourself right you get depressed about it uh but he's a really cool guy really funny guy so i'm really really looking forward to that so that's gonna be fucking great and uh

we are uh we're a little uh little podcast that could we're nominated for something oh yes we are you heard about this i have you heard about this. I have. You heard about this. There's a reader's poll we got here in Baltimore City Paper. Yes. And apparently we're up for best podcast. Yeah. Third year in a row, best podcast. And you know what they say about three times? What's that?

It's a charm. Yeah. So vote for us, please. Please. Please. Come on. Let's get it this year guys help us out just citypaper.com right yeah it takes it literally takes less than a minute to do the whole thing yeah just vote for us that would be fucking great to uh to win a nice award

if anything we could put it on the wall and so when people come over they're like hey this is worth my time listeners josh has worked his ass off on this show. I've worked maybe a few pubic hairs off. There were big ones, though. I try to show up and do whatever Josh tells me, but Josh has put in a shitload of time that everybody doesn't see and a lot of effort, and he deserves to have it on his wall. Oh, thank you, man.

No, no, no. It's a group effort, but yeah, I appreciate you saying that, man. It's true. Thank you, dude. So yeah, guys, that's it. That's all that's going it's a it's a group effort but yeah i appreciate you saying that man thank you thank you dude so uh yeah guys that's that's it that's all that's going on for for us and uh sorry for the delay in uh episode postings but you know shit happened hey it's happening it's free exactly exactly there's a there's a shop um that i pass on my way uh down to dc a lot it's close but uh it's like a little bodega,

and they have a sign in the window. It just says, we be cheap. Wow, I didn't mean it. That's kind of what we're doing. It's like, you know what? This is what you get into. It's free. It's free.

You get what you pay for. All right? We're not your Marc Marons of the world that can post episodes every Monday. People occasionally mistake me for them because of our name similarity, and I bet we get some downloads because of that. Hey, I'll take it.

Hey, what's up, what the fuckers? Fuck, fucking, fucking, fuck. The fuckstables. Great impression. Joey Fuckafuco. That's it. Thomas Fuckerson. That's what they call him.

Man, that was perfect. Amelia Fuckhart. Wow, I thought he was right in the room. That was insane. Wow. Okay, well, okay, the rambling intro is over. Let's get to our conversation with the very funny, very nice, very awesome Mr. Henry Zabrowski. Yes.

Enjoy, everybody. Thank you. Love you. You think it's Dr. Fantasy. And the men that are Dr. Fantasy are rapists. But fantasty, that's just good, clean fun. Sure. I'm cute.

It's cute and fun. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But, yeah, it's a good thing you added that extra T. Yes. Because that, clean fun. I'm cute. It's cute and fun. Oh, yeah. It's a good thing you added that extra T. That T means fun. That's what I thought. I think the science checks out on that. Thank you, man, for joining us here.

The podcast is going to sound a little bit different to those listening because we had a shit ton of audio problems. Thank you for waiting for us to figure out our shit on our end over here. I think it's technically the term when you're having problems with Skype audio, it's called a shit fuck. Yeah, yeah. It was a shit fuck. It was a shit ton of shit fuck going on over here. Yeah, I've dealt with that before.

I'm Skyping from Toronto to do my own podcast, and there's a lot of shit fucks. But you sound good when you Skype in, so you guys have figured it out over there. I hope so. I've heard some people say it sounds like I'm recording in a bathroom, which just fucking gets my goat, gets me crazy. But I know that they just want to hear me clearly. But I think it comes out pretty good. I don't think you hear too much of a difference.

I'd much rather be in the studio, of course. But I can't. I'm in Toronto at the TV factory. How's it going? Are you clocking in every morning at the TV factory? You're covered in TV at the end of the day. You doing okay? So much good TV.

It's really been good. It's interesting shooting and there are little differences shooting in Toronto than shooting in like LA or New York where they're very, they're much more casual here

which means they take forever to do anything. Kind of like us. Yeah. Kind of like a Skype podcast. I got you. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a Skype podcast but it's like millions of dollars because you know when, because ofcha yeah yeah it's like a skype podcast but it's like

millions of dollars because you know when because of the thing where it's like you know in la new york is very much like a time is money type thing about show business and so everyone is kind of vaguely aware of how much times cost we're here everyone kind of acts like they're fishing all the time. But it's just heroes, so it's just millions of dollars just getting funneled into a tube, into a hole in the ground. I don't know where it goes. But it is fun. Shooting the show is a lot of fun because I get to do all the shit that I always liked to do as a little boy.

It's like fucking playing around with guns and shooting aliens and stuff like that. It's fun. Awesome. Are you a hero? Are you a superhero in this? No. No. I'm a mortal. But I can say funny things.

Awesome. You're like the best friend character, right? Always. Well, except your pretty face is going to hell. You're the main dude in that. best friend character, right? Always. Well, except in Your Pretty Face is going to hell. You're the main dude in that. No, it's pretty sweet. It's pretty great.

I get to do a lot of stuff in that. It's great, but you just get to be... In that, I'm just like a perpetual victim. I'm either getting molested by Satan or raped by Satan or another monster or just destroyed or having so many things shoved up my asshole. Reminds me of

the McMartin preschool. It's like, you want to play the Popsicle game? Not again, Mr. Monroe. I just play a lot. I've never played a character that they were like, this guy.

No one says about me as Gary being like, this guy makes shit look good. You know what I mean? Never that. I'm never in a suit. It's always something dumpy or covered in peanut butter. On this one, it's just the standard dude bro costume of plaid shirt, faded jean, Chuck Taylors. We're very familiar with that.

Yeah. So like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just do the schlubby look. You're going to look great. No problem. I love it. I showed up the first day in Heroes and they didn't put any makeup on me. And I was just like, no makeup. I'd been drinking for days leading up to it. And it looked like hot dog shit. And then they were looking at me and they were like,

you look great. This is perfect actually. We actually wanted the character to look like he's been up looking at me and they were like, you look great. It's perfect, actually. We actually wanted the character to look like he's been up for five days. I was like, you got your dude then. Method acting over there. That's what you tell your girlfriend. Sweetie, I need to go on a heroin binge. It's for acting. It's for a role, okay?

I'm trying to look weathered. That's why I'm smoking a cigar, but like it's a cigarette. Daniel Day-Lewis over here, all right? Christian Bale lost all that weight. I need to snort all this cocaine. I have to do it. You want me to keep up? You want me to be the best I can be?

I thought you believed in me. Yeah, you've got to compete, man. It's hard to make me. Yeah, but the thing I wanted to ask you is for Pretty Face, how long does the makeup take? Because pretty much everybody in the show is covered in something. It takes, you know, it starts at like an hour and a half, and then by the end of shooting, it's like 45 minutes.

So once you get into it, it starts going faster and faster. The guys who do it, like Shane Morton, who does all of the body painting, is this guy who's been doing hardcore parking lot... What? Pornography? Hardcore pornography. In the parking lot, right? Yes, yes. He actually did make this shit called Gornography, hardcore pornography in the parking lot right yes yes he actually did make this shit called

gornography where he would do is like show me this drawer of fake pussies he had made he's like oh bud you gotta take this out it's like two lesbians they pretend to have all the pussies and this pussy is strapped to him and then one other lesbian dressed like a fucking zombie and then she

eats the pussy off of her so he had strapon pussies? Yes. Wow. Where they're, it's like women pretending to, it's just,

he showed me pictures and it's women just like grabbing on pussies like they're fucking dog toys. It's a world. Do they squeak? Yeah, I wish.

Like guys, this is really fucking up all the boners right now. Fucking up all the boners. But no, the dude's just used to it. The dude's real renegade about the makeup, so he just knows how to fucking do it really fast. It gets to a point where it's just very, like, slip, slip, slip, you're in and out,

but, you know, while I'm eating breakfast and shit. But it's great. Yeah, no, it seems cool. It's kind of while I'm eating breakfast and shit, but it's great. It's great. Yeah, no, it's, it seems cool. It's, it's kind of fun that everybody has to kind of go through it too.

Like there doesn't seem to be that many people that don't have to wear a shit ton of makeup in an episode. No, it's like those that are not like wearing makeup or like doing something else, like really uncomfortable. It's a really uncomfortable shoot, but it's like a blast. It's a really uncomfortable shoot. But it's like a blast. It's like, because we're shooting in an old burnt out fucking warehouse in Atlanta

that's not built for any sort of season. So in the summer, it's incredibly hot in there and the makeup comes fucking off your body the entire time. And then if it's winter, it's incredibly cold in there and you can't, you know, they can't write into a script

Gary puts on his fucking parka he can enjoy himself the monsters love mittens it's very intense it's very I've heard the term it's very heavy metal in there

so when I come to it like it very, it's very, it's very heavy metal in there. But, uh, so then when I come to it, like heroes and shit, it's just so posh. Yeah. It's so like so much money. It's so nice. They don't understand.

Everybody else on the show doesn't understand. Cause they're all like, you know, like Ryan Guzman, that boy next door, his job was to have sex with Jennifer Lopez. And it was just like, my jobs have always been very different.

Right. Right. I had that job for a summer once. It's not all it's cracked up to be. No, no, no. Because she's got that one of them snapping pussies. She's legitimately trying to destroy your balls. It's got a big squeaker in there too, though, which is nice.

The dog's going nuts outside the apartment. You can actually fill it with water too and squirt it right from the clit. which is nice. Don't go nuts outside the apartment. Yeah. You can actually fill it with water too and squirt it right from the clit. Jesus. You know, it was a good summer job. Yeah, it was all right.

Is that, is that, I feel like that's kind of, as an actor, it must be kind of a unique position to be working on like a primetime major network show, but then also be on a show on Adult Swim where you're discussing how to put together a human centipede

with the devil. Love it. I'm so happy that this is how my fucking life worked out. I have no idea how it worked out. It's wonderful, because I get both the worlds, I get to make a little bit of money on Heroes, which is great, and get to live a fucking sci-fi dream of mine.

Sure. Like, you know, I get to chase around. It's just crazy. The storyline is crazy. And I get to be the fucking funny dude in it, and it's great. I love it. And then Pretty Face is more of a – for everybody involved, it's like a – it's a very everybody involved it's a very big

it's a dream job it's a job that's really close to all of our hearts we all look at it like it's a baby it's a very big group effort because there's so many moving parts it's really it's not a very expensive show

remotely, there's no money for it. And so a lot of shit has to be done creatively. And we get to improv a bunch. And Dave and Casper Kelly are fucking brilliant. You know, it's good. I'm waiting to get the bad news. You know what I mean?

Life's going really good, and I'm just waiting to get hit by a car or something. Yeah. Right, right. While you're waiting around to shoot Heroes. Right, right, while you're waiting around to shoot heroes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, what is that like with Pretty Face 2?

Are there notes from Adult Swim? Because it seems like you guys just do pretty much whatever the fuck you want to do. My class at Adult Swim, they run a really I mean, as you would imagine, it's a pretty fucking cool ship. Like, you can go,

like, we are, the jobs that get, the shows that get a lot of attention from Adult Swim are the ones that are shooting in LA or in New York. We shoot in Atlanta, which is close to the actual base,

so I feel like we don't get a lot of, like, suits coming. Like, very few of like like very few of the developing people come and visit um mike lazaro doesn't really come and visit so we can kind of do whatever the fuck we want and most of that's got to do with the fact that dave willis is dave willis and casper kelly's casper kelly so we they trust us implicitly and it seems like we deliver for them like they're happy with what we do they've

never said anything we've i've seen them they do crawl up other shows asses right like they'll they're they're other shows that get a lot of pressure we get no pressure that's great yeah because it i think the most recent episode was the wiccan orgy one with they cut off your testicle to uh try to save the day basically their failed wiccan orgy like i just cut off your testicle to try to save the day, basically. Their failed waking orgy. Adult Swim's like, yeah, that's good. That's good. Alright, well, alright, I'll move some units.

It's actually, it's fun. I love, I miss that scene. It's the same thing. Hopefully if they do the DVD for the second season as well. There's just so much shit that's left behind that doesn't fit into a 12 minute thing it's like yeah i'm sure 12 minutes isn't much at all she was cutting my nuts off like we did a take that was like two and a half minutes long of her like sawn at it and me just going like

like really just living it like i saw like stars in front of my eyes it was great yeah well i hope that makes the dvd then i hope so deleted scenes yeah the first season got a bunch of shit there was like all like me getting a bunch of uh shit squirted into my mouth um it's like satan shitting in my mouth. They did for like three or four minutes while I was submerged in a bath. In a bathtub with water up to my lips and up to like the sides of my

eyes. Just squirting two day old brownies that they had mixed with water into a fucking bib block bag. They cut the end off it. Shane did it great and it was just like big lumpy thick

fucking dookies like getting all over my mouth and in my eyes and stuff and it hurt too it's like if you watch the deleted scene

you hear like the like as it hits my face damn it's pretty sweet yeah so then yeah doing that show

and then going to Heroes must be like a bit of a kind of whiplash creatively i guess i don't want to say too much but i am sort of a whipping boy heroes we can a lot there's a lot of shit we can expect a diarrhea river in heroes then is that an exclusive spoiler thereiler. There is a fucking diarrhea monster that blows itself in the middle of Heroes. It's going to be very surprising. Yeah, they were kind of hinting at it with the first

season of Heroes. I'm just glad it came to fruition. You know? Yeah, you know, it's the Ibsen thing. Where it's like, you know, you leave, you put a gun on the wall. It has to go off in the third act. You put a diarrhea in the toilet, it needs to overflow in the third act. Yeah, and become an anthropomorphized monster that blows itself.

I hear the fanboys are mad, though, because a diarrhea monster is going to be played by a black man, which is not in the comic books. Welcome to Obama's America. Yeah, fucking with the canon. I can't believe we do that shit. No, it's deep. Tell you the truth, I don't know half the shit that's happening in Heroes. It's pretty fucking

complicated. I read the scripts are all awesome, but then there's like nine storylines. You're like, I don't know what's happening. People are like, we're all in different shows. I don't know what's happening. People are like, we're all in different shows. I don't know what's happening. What happens in your scenes? You begin to describe your plot and someone's just like, what are you even talking about?

That's awesome. Yeah, I mean, it's just so cool, man. You get to be involved in so much cool stuff. Just being basically just a crazy guy in wolf of wall street and then uh being in the amy schumer uh yeah the 12 angry men uh episode was so perfect man i had no clue what i was walking on to that so i had worked with um jesse klein on michael michael had issues back in the day and she's one of the executive producers name is schumer show and you know we've kept in contact for over

years and I got a call that were like, will you do the sketch for Amy Schumer? I was supposed to do it. Do you remember that ball sketch she did? I think so. It was at the restaurant with the dudes with big nuts. Oh yeah, it was like a Hooters

send up kind of thing. I was supposed to do that sketch. It was yeah. It was like a Hooters send-up kind of thing. Yeah, I was supposed to do that sketch. Yeah. It was hilarious. It was funny. John Glazer. Yeah, he was great. He's great.

He's a fucking genius. I fucking love John Glazer. And they called me in to do this one, and I just thought it was going to be a sketch, and then I get the script, and it's fucking 22 pages. I'm like, no, it's an entire episode, and you're going to be with a fucking jeff goldblum yeah yeah paul giamatti in there and then uh god i'm blanking on his name uh the guy that played the main dude uh hawks what's his name

john hawks incredible yeah he's incredible when he slams that dildo on the table, it's just so good. So good. And they were all so fucking cool. I got into an hour-long conversation with fucking Paul Giamatti about acting for camera. It was like all this great, it was an incredible experience that they topped on my, threw on my fucking lap. Which is just, I just have to soak this up. I'm going to be doing Taco Bell commercials in like a fucking year. You know what I mean?

That's how people's careers go. You're doing cool shit, and then eventually it's going to be, I'm going to play a Mucinex, like Boogerman in the Mucinex film. It could be worse. Yeah, you hear that, Antonio Banderas? Henry's coming for you.

Yeah, I'm going to be in Assassins 2. We'll see. You're going to be appearing on the digression sessions via a bad phone connection in barcelona i was like no sorry guys i'm playing now i i'm i'm in assassins 2 i got a spider gun i shoot spiders no shit i play juanito calvarez yeah Yeah. Spider-gun assassin guy. So, you started with comedy, right? Did you get into all this to act eventually? No. My whole life was supposed to be doing Saturday Night Live.

That's all I was going to do. I've been doing sketch since i was 18 my group murder fist has been together since then yeah where'd you guys start where did you start we started in tallahassee and uh florida state university um and we were there we just started doing stuff at this gay bar in tallahassee called Brothers. They gave us a night to do whatever the fuck it is that we wanted to do and so we wrote a new sketch show every week and we did that for three years and then we all moved to

New York together and we kind of did that and it was like right when New York Cool Comedy had just ended. We showed up in like January of 2006 where Fifi closed like three months later. There was like all this we missed that whole wave

of stuff but then we came into New York and at the time we were doing independent sketch and New York was all independent sketch there was like maybe literally like 80 groups doing stuff in New York it was crazy there was sketch everywhere

and then kind of UCB kind of choked it all out. Kind of the same thing. Now there's house teams everywhere and that's the only sketch that exists which kind of blows because I don't personally believe in any sort of comedy school. I think that anybody who wants to tell you

how to be funny is lying to you. Anybody who's got a manual for this is how to be funny is trying to you like you know anybody who's got like a manual for this is how to be funny is trying to sell you something yeah especially when it gets into you have to take like eight courses and then within the eight courses there's like levels a b c and d and then one two three four and all that oh no it's yeah it's a it's a lot of money and when i came to new york i was broke as shit right we were immediately working two to three jobs like we couldn't afford classes um so it's like we were just doing comedy like we just started going up and with failing in front of audiences until we got good um but yeah i mean i still consider myself

a comedian i just did a thing that technically cannot be announced but it is a project for netflix that is very much like a comedy special but i cannot say the words to that but i'm starting to swing back into it and once this gets done once heroes is wrapped up i mean i have no idea what the future is for any of this stuff but uh the goal is to get right back into self-produced work nice yeah he's talking about the full house reunion you're you're danny tanner right yes i knew it i knew it i shouldn't have said it and danny tanner is a diarrhea monster in this one yes i knew it sucking his own dick absolutely and you wouldn't believe the shenanigans that are happening backstage. I am just... It's incorrigible back there. Oh, mercy. Oh, I'm sure.

I'm sure. So, is the Netflix thing is that a solo thing, or is that... It's a solo. It would be a solo thing. Oh, nice. Yeah. So, it's good. It hasn't been announced yet, so nothing... You can't put this in the description of the episode. Okay. But I would say it's

going to be coming soon, and it's a... it's going to be coming soon and it's a it's going to be they gave me an incredible opportunity. And it's like this, but it's this fucking thing. It's like now it's I was trying to be a comedian and then I became an actor while through it because of my improv skills.

Like it was all just because of improv. It's how you get, I got hired to do Wolf. Wolf was just an improv monologue they were looking for improv guys and so that just kind of fucking happened that's awesome it was crazy, that was crazy

but now the idea is to fight my way back so I went all the way, I did all this work which is awesome, hopefully will help me sell more comedy projects so that I can do the next thing. Right, right, right. Yeah, so they're kind of seeing, you know, it's like, no, you're an actor guy. Yeah, you do funny stuff, but you're an actor.

Oh, I'm a comedian, dude. I'm a comedian. God damn it. No, it's, yeah, it's, but I'm fucking, I love the job. Being an actor is great. Oh, dude, I'm sure. That's fucking right. It's wonderful. But, you know, I love the job. Being an actor is great. Oh, dude, I'm sure. That's fucking right. It's wonderful.

But, you know, because I would say that being a comedian is more difficult. Oh, fucking A. Yeah, no, it's funny that you've fought to get to this spot. And then you're like, well, I still want to do comedy, though. You know what I mean? But if you were to tap yourself on the shoulder like 10 years ago and say what you're doing to yourself now, you'd think you were fucking nuts. Exactly. I'd be like, fuck you. It's like, no, that's incredible. No, no, stop fighting.

Stop all that. Yeah, because that's all it's like comedy. It's just, you know, it's an epic struggle. Yeah. You know, it's always like a fight between yourself and an audience. And like if you're working with other people, it's like trying to figure out a comedic vision. Whereas an actor, you show up, you get breakfast, you put makeup on, you go like... I mean, a lot of people take the craft very seriously. And I don't belittle the craft. Yeah.

I mean, I know you said you're kind of against teaching, but it sounds like you've got a way of life over there as far as acting. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just roll in there. And then you go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Jump right in that bathtub and say, pour it on me, baby. No, you feel things. Honestly, Heroes has been, it's kind of amazing. Heroes has kind of taught me about acting again.

Because I was a serious acting student. Like, I did the whole rolling around on the ground, crying about my fucking memories kind of shit in college. You know, I did Chekhov and all that shit. So now I have to come back. And it's been good. It feels like I'm acting again. It feels like there have been moments where it's like I've gotten teary-eyed, which I haven't felt, and I don't feel things.

Yeah, me neither. Is SNL still something you want to do? I went through the system. I tested, and I didn't get it. And then I was on hold for four months i did this i kind of told the whole story of my buddy josh rubin's podcast about how i what it kind of did to me mentally really like yeah because i had the whole i got all the way through today i i had it it was that thing where i felt like i'm gonna get this because i made it

to the very end of the process and then i I didn't get it, which is cool. Then you get one of those things where it's like I got the taste of it, but it's what happens. It's definitely what I have friends that go in for the Daily Show. What you discover is that every time you go in for something huge like that and you don't get it, what it does is just set you up for another thing like as long as you did your your best and put your fucking like heart into it and didn't half-ass it and like came in and like were yourself and just didn't get it because you didn't get it like you're gonna it's going to create things for you because that huge failure, massive failure in my life

set up a bunch of stuff later on that helped me, that brought me to here where now I can actually work and I'm not working at an office anymore and I'm not fucking tamping anymore. Right. Now, did it open doors because people along the way kind of saw what you could do and they're like well maybe he's not right for this but he would be great in something else that's one thing and then the reputation kind of precedes you you find out you find out they're hurt like you're like i heard you did really good on your test like you hear it from other people like because the word spreads the people know like

everybody knows who's, like, funny. Like, they're watching you. If you're working hard and you do well and you just don't get it, I mean, like, what they say about, like, making friends and making fans, like, the dumb shit that, like, managers and agents say where they say, like, you're making fans out there. Like, it's actually true. It comes back eventually as long as you're fucking really hitting it and not blowing things off right right no that totally makes sense i mean i'm i think we're both kind of learning that even on like a lower because we do comedy in the baltimore dc area so even like getting shows and i'm sure you had it back in the day too but yeah if somebody

hears you had a good show or something they're gonna invite you on to another thing and you know not necessarily it was a show you were like headlining or you're like, oh, I didn't do so great. But if somebody hears like, no, he's good, you know, they'll invite you to do other shit. It's how the whole world works. It's like how the whole fucking industry. It's like just keep showing up and not being a dickhead. Yeah. You know, because you could do a show for three people and crush it still and have a fucking great time.

You got three new fans. You learn something about yourself in the process. Yeah. You know, if you're doing it right, you're like, this went well, this didn't go well, this didn't go well. And that's like just another fucking rep. It just makes your fucking back thick. Get that comedy muscle just throbbingbing throbbing and just fucking balls deep in it keep showing up and don't be a dickhead i think that's in the bible i'm pretty

sure that's in the bible i believe it is corinthians uh so but while you're in the midst of doing all that for snl do you kind of have an inkling then that's going on or are you just crestfallen like I'm going for this thing I didn't get it everything sucks I was fucking destroyed Jesus yeah I was I was worth nothing damn I gained like 30 pounds oh man when was this this was in 2010 oh damn yeah I was. I was too young. I wasn't ready. How old were you?

I was 26. Oh, okay. I was 26. I went through. I had a lot of people helping me out. I had people that had saw me. I just did a pilot for Lorne Michaels.

So I was in front of him. That's the other myth that people don't understand is that they, they already know who they're picking like five years out. That they have watched people and they pick people and you'll work for the company a couple of times. There's very rarely someone who's just kind of scooped up out of nowhere. You're either like nowadays you've got a following already or there are people that they've seen you and have kind of tapped you a couple of times and said you're ready for SNL because I had that happen to me. That's what people do. They know people. So now UCB

has got more of a connection to it and places like that. The Groundlings always had that. Second City has that where they go and they know who the top 15 people are. The Second City and the Groundlings. They know who's up for it, at least. And then it's like, do they need a fat dude? Do they need this person? Do they need this thing? And then they whittle it down that way.

Yeah, it's like, oh, we already have a tall white guy. You know, we're not going to have, like, four of those. Yeah, we're going to have more a tall white guy you know we're not gonna have like four of those yeah we're used to have more than one white guy in snl at all times yeah all times yeah okay i'm gonna have this fucking devastating oh man i'm sure but then yeah i guess like you said at the time you don't really have the perspective to know like well this is gonna open doors down the road it's like fuck my dream is dead well yeah my agent literally was just like when i first didn't get it they were like they kind of like looked at the table and they were like we just kind of thought you were gonna get it

it was brutal it was like i thought i was gonna lose everything i thought i was like. I thought I was going to lose everything. I thought I was like, oh, I thought it would be, but then I just booked, you know, then I just did a bunch of episodic stuff. Yeah, yeah. But still, I mean, what a terrible thing for an agent to say, like, we don't know what to do now. It's like, you should always know what to do.

No, they don't. They lie. They lie, because they have an idea. They're immediately just being like, ah, this guy, we'll get him in there, and then we'll flip it out you know because you know i think it was fine it's like then it turned out fine then it was great and then i got just for laughs i did just for laughs characters the first year that they did characters right right cool yeah and i thought it was like oh they'll bring me oh this will put me back in the SNL game. Do you still have hopes for it, or are you just

doing your own thing now? Enjoying the many other things you have going on. I say doing your own thing. It makes it sound like you work at Well, I smoke a lot of weed. No, I fucking love my podcast is huge to me.

Last Podcast on the Left is a big part of my life the research that we do we love it I'd say it's in my top three podcasts right now that's awesome that means a lot to me man yeah it's great we love it the fans that come out of it are fucking intense

and great yeah I actually had like a really deep conversation with a guy who posted on your Facebook page recently, like, I'm not feeling great, guys, or something like that. And I don't know him. He doesn't know me. But somehow we were able to connect. And we both just talked about our experiences with depression. And he told me he felt a little better.

So I was like, wow, this is really cool. I think I just made a connection with somebody over the last podcast fan page. It's kind of crazy because it's people that are all, it's very similar vibes. Everybody who listens to the show are very similar to even us, where it's like we were kind of always taught that we were kind of crazy and misfits for the things that we like. You know, the fact that I'm obsessed with ghosts and aliens and serial killers. Like, and you find out that you know, actually a lot of fucking people. Yeah, the weird thing is

most people are obsessed with those things but they act like it's news, you know? Like they... Yeah, they're like, you know what's kind of weird? I'm into serial killers. And it's like, no man, yeah. Yeah, you are. Of course you are. Yeah, but it's like you have to like make this pretense of, weird. I'm into serial killers. And it's like, no, man, yeah, yeah, you are. Of course you are. Yeah, but it's like

you have to, like, make this pretense of, oh, I'm just concerned about society or something like that could happen to me. And it's like, there's no fucking way

that's going to happen to you. Yeah, it's like, and I know it's weird. It's weird, right? But it's like, yeah, that's why every show on TV is about a fucking murderer

or murder. Yeah, exactly. It's okay to be into those things. It's totally cool. It's a horror, it's a real-life horror movie. It's okay to be into those things. It's totally cool. It's a horror, it's a real life horror movie. Right.

It's cool. You like horror movies? Great. So you like hearing about the real life horror movies because they are the ones that are actually scary? Then yes.

If you're addicted to being scared like I am, you get into those types of things. You listen, you like, when I was really getting into the research about Dahmer, and like talking about Jeff Dahmer, and like talking

about Jeff Dahmer, and when he was going through the, the psychosis that he was going inside of his apartment, right, where he lived

the outside life where he was working at a chocolate factory, which is hilarious, and going to bars and shit, you know, and like meeting guys

could not, not, not, he was flirting successfully. Sure. He was a good-looking fella. He had some confidence. He had a swimmer's body.

Yeah, he had some confidence. He's got a good job at the chocolate factory. Things are happening. He was making $25 an hour. Really? Yeah. He was making bank. No wonder he was getting so much ass.

Yeah. The problem is that he was literally just getting just the ass. Sure. You know, just killing the rest of it. And when he showed the pictures of what he was doing to the bodies, how their backs would be broken and their skin would be flayed, and then you saw the drawings that he made that he wanted to make of his bone altar. The altar, yeah.

Yeah. Really creepy. Yeah. I didn't know about his bone altar. Really creepy. I didn't know about the bone altar. Oh yeah, he was way... His whole plan was to have a skull altar with two full skeletons on each side. It's pretty heavy metal, right?

I was going to say the most metal thing ever. Bone altar is also a good metal band. He even rigged it with the... He even rigged it so he could use the wrench from Ikea to put it all together. It's like you miss

one tibia and you miss the whole thing. They never put enough phalanges in these fucking things. Where are they? I used to see him

like at Home Depot like trying to ask questions but not get too into detail into what he's doing, you know? Yeah, what I'm

kind of looking for is like a bigger thicker down rod but I'm not going to say like a human bone

I am going to say I just need something to just make some fucking rock hard yeah it's a down it's a down

Mr. Dahmer there's a small pool forming on the front of your slacks oh it's my go juice that means I'm done Mr. Dahmer, there's a small pool forming on the front of your slacks. Oh, it's my go-jus. That means I'm done. I'm sorry.

We interrupted you, though. You were saying while you were researching Dahmer. Oh, no, no, no. It's just the funny thing. It's that thing of that shit that's real scary. Yeah. Yeah, terrifying. Terrifying.

Yeah. There's just nothing more interesting than humans murdering other humans. Because a lot of it is, I think you look at it, of course, you're like, what's the difference between him and me? Why does he go and do that?

Besides when the people are like, Henry Lucas, whose dad was a no-legged fucking drifter that used to beat his prostitute mom and his mom used to fuck dudes in front of him. That was a great episode, by the way. The drifter jokes were killing me. And by the way, that's one of the things I love about you guys, is that

you're not doing like shock humor, you know, you're not just like making fun of the victims or whatever. Like, you're just making, you're just telling about these things and then making good anecdotes and humorous anecdotes along the way. We have a concerted effort to not victim blame or talk badly about these sort of victims.

That's what, that is our philosophy because we know that number one, it distances you from people as in terms of listeners, but also it's so much more fun to explore this, decide worlds, which is like imagining is imagining their interactions with the real world, especially with the alien shit, which is just a world of insanity, of people making stuff up.

But also, some of these people are getting raped by something in the sky, and I don't know who it is. Something's happening. I mean, these people lose their ever-loving minds. You think that's the same conversation they're having at some, like, Air Force base somewhere? Like, they're raping somebody in the sky. Somebody's got to be doing the raping.

Legitimately, I think that's the problem. That's why we don't know anything about UFOs, and it's why they downplay any sort of research they do, because straight up they don't know what the fuck it is. And they're just literally just sitting around just being like, I saw a seven foot tall, gray thing finger my corporal. I saw him do it.

You want to tell me you didn't? We all saw it. And they disappear. Who was he? What'd he do? How did he get into Pentagon? Don't know. No one knows. Didn't happen. I think I probably know this from last podcast, but how much of an alien believer would you say you are?

I'm a full alien believer. Full on? I believe that they are partially a psychic event. I think that there are, I'm certain, I'm certain. It's getting riled up just sitting there. Henry, Henry, relax. There are multiple universes.

I just want people to buy the truth, right? There are multiple universes. We're talking string theory now. That's all we're doing. That's all we're doing. That's all we're doing. That's all we're doing. And I think that there's something to the way our brains are built to be antennas. We're psychic antennas.

Consciousness is remote from our bodies in a sort of cloud that kind of floats maybe between the universes. I think that they poke through. I think that they are physically real. The things that I don't want to know, don't know, and I imagine there are many scenarios it could be true. Our government could know about aliens and could be working with them. Right? It's a possibility. But I think mostly just it's the psychic phenomenon of these things coming and testing us. I think that they know what we are vaguely

and we know what they are vaguely. I think the government knows that things are popping out because they fuck with, like, nuclear testing sites and they're being seen. There's footage of this crazy shit. There was this big recent cube that showed up above

Texas. What? I think I've seen that footage. It's wild looking. God knows what it is. It's like whatever it is. It's fucking creepy deepy. I don't know what the fuck it is, but it's like whatever it is, it's fucking creepy-deepy. I don't know what the fuck it is. And it gets to a point where you're like, I think there's phenomena like that, and that aliens are that.

It's our brains making something up in the image of an alien, but that making it real as well, because perception is real. I remember when I was real young, I saw a fire in the sky. And I thought it was like, because at the time it was like, when it was like crazy alien, like, 92, 93. Yeah, like X-Files.

It was like Alien Workshop. Alien was all over. Alien Autopsy. Yeah, it was all over America it was the rage illegal aliens they were everywhere had it down cause they did the alien autopsy I remember that and I was just obsessed me and my mom were both jumping up and down on the couch

for that one yeah I was so excited but I remember seeing fire in the sky and I just thought it was gonna be like like X-Files was like creepy but it was never like terrifying but fire in the sky when he gets abducted and the aliens all look like the aliens we've seen before with kind of like the like oval like the gray kind of like oval dark eyes and then he reaches up to touch its face and pulls its mask off and then you see its real face and it looks like a like shriveled dick i recently watched that scene again very mediocre movie one of the but with one of the best alien abduction scenes ever films yeah

that's the whole reason for that whole movie yeah the rest of it's kind of like whatever it's kind of like a dude vacation movie yeah and then but that that scene of him up there they do the first it's like the one of the only movies that really does that sort of what they that otherworldly or that thing that they call high strangeness like really well which is the the sort of like fluidy floors and the guys just shoving the fibers up his nose and all that weird shit yeah no alien no alien movie or or report really covers the stuff that I find immensely interesting. Stuff like, Whitley Strieber, when he was getting visited by aliens, he saw an alien show up

dressed up as Elvis, and was just like, hey, hey, hey, buddy, hi, here. He was trying to do an Elvis impression. You hear these stories of aliens showing up like greasers, where there's another story about an alien getting shot. A guy came up with a shotgun, saw three greys walking up his lawn.

It was just a fucking country dude, grabs a shotgun, shoots the grey, and the grey bounces like a Looney Tunes cartoon. Does that bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, like all over and then zips out the window. Wow. Was he just like, what the fuck was that? What the fuck was that what the fuck was that just bouncing around cartoon reality yeah like the world the world in fire in the sky really felt alien not just like a human's interpretation of an alien world like it felt creepily different. Yes. And if you saw Bugs Bunny walking around,

imagine that size rabbit walking around with sort of a rubbery texture. Him walking like he's the real-life Bugs Bunny, but he's kind of dead behind the eyes. That's all aliens. It's funny. Mike just told me about the podcast, so I'm just kind of getting into it,

but I really dig it man but it's funny to hear you guys whenever you talk about aliens or any kind of like conspiracy theory there's so much behind it that it's so funny to hear and of course we could get into this but all the different types of aliens that they think are on the planet

and stuff like that so we say like the greys the reptilians the blondes there's different types of aliens, right? Tall whites. Dracos, which are reptilian bosses. You've got the reptilian worker class. You've got Venusians, if you want to talk about Valiant Thor.

You've got the fucking Pleiadians, who are the pussy good ones that can never fucking stick around. Dorks. We're the pussy good ones that always can never fucking stick around. It works. There's also the straight up space Jews. They say came and helped populate space Jews. The humans populated Atlantis. Uh-huh. And then you've got, if you want to go inner earth, you've got indigenous graves, indigenous reptilians. You know. Jeez. Braves. Indigenous reptilians. You know. Geez. One of my favorite jokes you guys ever made was when you were talking about David Icke

and how people have accused him of replacing the word Jew with reptilian. And you're like, no, actually, I'm not nearly that reasonable. I'm really talking about reptilians. I'm talking about reptilians. I'm talking about giant reptiles. Yeah. Because that's the thing. So that's why you can't buy what he's talking about,

especially when he was just a sports pod. He was just a sports journalist. And then he started thinking he was Jesus Christ. He's got some interesting, the book is interesting. But what you'll notice about stuff like this is that part of what I think our government does and what they kind of allow and what helps them is the amount of lore and mythology

that people create for themselves around these alien things. They create all these side alleys to these conspiracies because they're just trying to fill up time. And then you've got, then there's the whole world of people who believe they speak to aliens. And then they're getting their fucking cockadoo information from something or they're just making it up. Excuse me, bourbon heart. Or the're just making it up. Excuse me.

I have a bourbon heart. Or the people who've been molested by their uncles that think that they were fucking molested by aliens. And then they're willing to just put a bald cap on. Yeah. And they can't process it maybe at the time or something like that. Or he came in dressed as an alien. And he's like, you are the one, Neo. Has anybody tried that?

That would be a pretty good in the world of rape, at least, that would be a very good way. In the context. You heard it here first. Mike says rape would be pretty good. I'm saying if you're raping anyway, that would be a clever way to do it. If you are on the verge of rape and you want to commit if you want to do that the only way to get someone to consent to it is to dress as an alien and just convince them

that you're teaching them about the future go the extra mile I think that's what we're saying here so can I ask you this kind of switching gears a little bit but staying with last podcast what was like the first feeling of terror

you got from a story as a child um mine was Hansel and Gretel and I think that really set the stage for like a lifetime of uh being fascinated with horror stories and being scared interesting I well I was obsessed with it since I was a kid. But what kind of stuff early on? I read Stephen King's It when I was nine. Jesus. Like, I was real into it, because my mom was really into it, and I would just take it and read it, and I got really into the occult really fast, but

the shit that used to freak me out as a kid was diseases. I became convinced about that I had AIDS when I was a kid. Really? I would start doing these things

where I would say I had, because the news freaked me out, which is very similar to my current life, where the news scares the shit out of me and everything else is like, I laugh at horror movies. But I would also say

the movie House. The movie House had me check my shower before getting into the bathroom every day until I was 13, 14 years old. Wow. Yeah.

Never seen it, actually. But it's a very silly movie. Now you watch it and it's just so funny. Yeah, is it kind of a horror comedy type of thing? Yeah. But I was obsessed with it

as a kid. I haven't seen it what was in the what was in the tub just this ugly scarred woman who was like blue and she'd like really long nails and she'd like this weird caked on makeup that's the kind of shit that freaks me out yeah yeah it's kind of it reminds me of the shining when he's kissing that chick and then all of a sudden she's just this old, nasty, like bloated and she's just laughing like...

I can imagine being like, meh, I can work with that too. You know what? We're already here. She's sweet. Yeah. Obviously she's got a sense of humor. I like that. Is there any chance she'll be turning back at any point or

does it go like back and forth or how's that work just do your well you know that could be fine yeah I'm sick of Shelley Duvall

who isn't have you ever considered working on a horror movie yourself do you have like any fantasy horror in your head

me and me and Ben Kissel from last podcast wrote a horror comedy script that is going to be the next thing I make. That's definitely going to be a thing. All I want to do is horror. Me too. Let me ask you this and we'll start wrapping

up here pretty soon. Thanks for doing this, man. We appreciate that. As long as you're into it, I love it. That's awesome, man. So in doing some research for this here interview, when I type your name into Google, Satanist pops up right after your name. Have you noticed that? Yeah, it's pretty great. I think I would call myself a satanist very much so

and i hope if i'm ever actually a celebrity that i will be known as a the uh as the the sammy davis jr of our generation you're like the tom cruise of scientology you'd be that for satanism i would love to do that i would absolutely love to do that i think it's about personal empowerment and mostly anton lave wrote about church of satan it's. I think it's about personal empowerment. And mostly Anton LaVey wrote about Church of Satan. It's to get women, mostly. Yeah, that's all anything is, isn't it? Pretty much. It's just to attract women to you.

You get to wear fun things, like pentagrams and shit. You get to look really evil. It's mostly a really fun way to say you're an atheist. But I do believe in elemental sort of like universal energies. And I believe in that there are such a thing as like magic ritual as self-hypnotism because reality is perception. So you can change your shit. I don't mean to get intense here. No.

I don't sell this to people. I don't give a fuck what anybody believes because I actually don't want them on intense here. No. I don't sell this to people. I don't give a fuck what anybody believes because I actually don't want them on the train with me. Sure. Getting things from their own mind. Taking your women. That's right. Yeah, I don't need any of that shit.

I don't need competition. The orgy is full. Right. You hear that, universe? Send all the gifts Henry's way. No, it's interesting. I think, and then, you know, it's just a lot about personal

empowerment. Yeah. You know, I think there's a lot of stuff in LeVay and Satanism that, you know, you can use as a good philosophy. Yeah, and then a lot of it's bullshit. I mean, the whole point, what you've got to do always is take what you like and throw out everything.

Yeah, with anything. People that try to take any spiritual book or anything as total gospel are selling themselves short. They're all written by humans. Absolutely. You have to just take what you like. Everybody – that's the other thing. I hate using the term chaos magic and what they talk about that. But basically the idea is you always should be building your own religion.

You should just be – if you want to believe in a network of things, it's just like, just what works for you. Absolutely. Don't tell anybody else what the fuck to do with their time. Right. Because that's a number one, it's a waste of time.

And number two, you're going to be very sad what they're into. Yeah. It's all about making this life the best you can. Not worrying about afterlives and not worrying about what other people think. I'm trying to have fun and be good to people. Yeah, that's all you got to do. Just do what makes you happy and don't hurt anybody else.

Yeah. That's all I want. And weirdly, that's what Satanism kind of is. Really? As far as like LeVay. Yeah, it's like an atheist. I've always kind of heard that, yeah, that it's more positive than you think. It parallels Buddhism a lot, strangely.

But it just has this negative connotation of being like, he's a Satanist. Right. It's on purpose. Yeah. It's on purpose because the point is that it's supposed to be, the whole thing is satirical. That it's silly. Yes. It's supposed to be funny.

You watch it and it's like, there are certain things that are serious. The selfish part about it and all the about like destroying your enemies and doing all this stuff is very funny because most of the people that are like i will actually say that they're sentenced satanist and be serious about it are like 350 pound like trolls on the internet like you know like they're not fighting they're not vanquishing enemies right Right. But they are, it's, but it's about respecting other people's territory. They talk about territory, and then it's all about kind of doing what you choose and don't infringe on what anybody else chooses. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's awesome. And it seems like it should just be that kind of way anyway. Yeah. Like. It could be cool just to be like that. You don't have to be a Satanist it is kind of like it kind of takes in pagan ideas that like Christianity is kind of

like a lot of what Christians think of as Satan is just kind of pagan stuff that they were competing with back in the day they took everything they've had the same holidays since the beginning of time there's like and you know they just immediately said they just immediately have come out and said that jesus was a construct they found all these

writings these greek writings about how like jesus was made up he's been based off of nine different stories there's like the mithra storyline and there's there's a bunch of things that it's like it's we've been following the same patterns and stories since the beginning of stories and now you're just you want to make things evil because you just don't understand it or because they're just living too funky and you want and you hate your body and you hate your sex life and you hate what you've got going on so you want to make sure that everybody else feels shame and feels weird about experimenting or believing themselves. I don't know. When you're insecure in yourself, you want to drag down others.

Yeah, and that's where all that shit comes from. That's where all organized religion comes from. Yeah, it's so insane, too. And then the argument of like, well, if there wasn't a God, what's to stop us from raping and murdering all day? I mean, your sister or your mother. Yeah.

It's not funny that to happen to them. Do people really want to be assholes? Like, is the only thing keeping you from not murdering somebody

going to hell? Yeah. It doesn't make you a good person then either. Yeah, exactly. You're the monster. Like,

why are you even, what are you talking about? Because like, while he's saying that, she's like, she's dressed in like a blouse and stuff like that, but she's looking at you

and just imagines cutting your dick off and like, just like pretending like it's a cigar and she's like, I'm a businessman. She's going to do like

a Groucho Marx impression. Hey, I'm a businessman. I'm a cock. You think Lorena Bobbitt did that at all? I would have oh that's a medicati

can I give you I know this is really annoying and people do this all the fucking time but can I just quickly give you a suggestion for a last podcast subject absolutely sure Pied Piper of Hamelin based on a true story nobody's really explored that in depth

that's all I'll say. Cool. I'll put that down. We take a bunch of, I'll take ideas. Yeah. I'll steal whatever ideas come. You know,

I mean, I understand Picasso. That's what he was talking about, that shit. I'm literally typing it down. Nice. Nice. Awesome.

All right. Well, hey man, I think we're going to wrap up here, dude. I really appreciate you taking time out to do this thanks so much man

this was awesome thank you for having me guys I hope that we don't fuck up your listenership by talking about the sweet joys of satanism no no no maybe it'll expand it I think they're loyal yeah I tell you what I think I I might be a Satanist now.

I think it worked. You see? Welcome aboard, buddy. Hey, man. I'm a centigram. Thank you. I'll be on a different side of the train, though, so you and your whores can get all your stuff from the universe. And I'll be in the caboose.

That's very, I really appreciate that. From one Satanist to another. No problem, man. No problem. Is there anything you want to promote here at the end? We'll promote stuff in the beginning too, but anything you want to remind folks of to check out? Please check out Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell on Adult Swim

Sunday nights at 12.15. We start up again in no week. Nice. And then Heroes comes out September 24th. Heroes comes out September 24th on NBC at 8 PM. So those are the big new things. And then I'll be, uh, you know, last podcast on the left on Cape County radio. Cool, man. Well, uh, yeah, we look forward to the, uh, to the Netflix thing too.

So you, it sounds like you got a lot, you got a lot of stuff going on, man. It's fucking awesome. It's pretty fucking awesome, man. I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm pretty hashtag blessed right now. But my problem is that, you know, it'll all end. Yeah. Very fast. That's the attitude.

Let's end on that positive note. It's all shit in the end anyway. I've had a great time talking to you. We're all going to die. You know, it's all fake and money's bullshit. You know, we should all technically be living in a field making our own food and voting. Yeah, but what are you going to do? Follow him on Twitter.

All right. Thanks, but what are you going to do? Follow him on Twitter. All right. Thanks, Henry, man. We'll talk to you soon. Talk to you soon. Bye. Hail Satan. Hail Satan. Daygrass Sensations.

Coming to an end. Thank you. We'll see you next time. Thank you.