The Digression Sessions - Ep. 165 - John Conroy! (@ConroyFTW)

Episode Date: August 31, 2015

This week Josh is joined by comedian John Conroy in Josh's car for a talk about crowd dynamics, alcohol & rehab, and what it means to be a road comic. Follow John on Twitter and check out his album "White People Can Do Whatever They Want" on iTunes and Spotify! Social Media Whatnots: @ConroyFTW - Twitter @JoshKuderna - Twitter & Instagram @MikeMoranWould - Twitter @DigSeshPod - Twitter Also, like our FB fan page located here! Give us some feedback or post goatsie pics or w/e. AND PLEASE VOTE FOR US AS THE BEST PODCAST IN BALTIMORE! CLICK THIS LINK!

hey everybody i'm josh kaderna and i'm mike moran and you're listening to the digression sessions podcast a baltimore-based comedy talk show hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers. Join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence. As we interview local and non-local comedians, writers, musicians, and anyone else we find creative and interesting. Yes. Who's the guest this week? John Conroy is the guest on this week's program. Mr. John Conroy.

He's a comedian and a lovely fella, and you should follow him on Twitter. He is at ConroyFTW for the win. FT dubs. JohnConroyComedy.com is his website. And he's got an album out called white people can do whatever they want some people have been known to uh pronounce it uh it is a good album check it out on itunes also on spotify if you're nasty um john's a really funny guy josh gaderni here by the way of course and uh yeah i i love John ever since I saw him the first time at the DC Improv doing a guest spot for Roy Scoville.

He killed it. And it's been awesome to get to know him doing shows with him and mics and stuff all over DC. And, yeah, we finally sat down in my car and recorded a podcast. Because that's how you do it. That's how a professional podcaster does it. He says, hey, you want to come sit in my car when it's really hot out? a podcast. That's because that's how you do it. That's how a professional podcaster does it. Says, hey, you want to come sit in my car when, you know, it's really hot out? He says, sure. So that's what we did. And his lovely fiance, Jamie, joined us as well. So she's in the back seat. So it's kind of like a live podcast for a very small audience, but a great audience,

I will say. So yeah, I got to know John, like I said, doing mics over the past like year or so. And he's just a really cool guy, really funny guy. And he's one of those guys that's kind of under the radar, but he's a professional comedian. He's out there, like he says in the interview, 40 weeks a year, just doing the work so it's uh it was really interesting for me to get to know that side of it kind of the the next steps because everybody's like yeah you do mics then you go to la or new york or whatever but uh no he's just out on the road doing his thing and he might go up to new york to try to make a bigger splash up there but i mean that's what a lot of it is you just kind of go out there you do shows and you're on the road so that's what that's what we talked about and uh also talked about rehab and kind of

dealing with uh alcohol abuse issues and things like that but John could not have been cooler especially when uh my recorder died 10 minutes into the interview and we had to start over so shout out to John thank you for uh your patience and being so cool. But I hope you guys enjoy this interview. It was a lot of fun for me. And yeah, I think inspiring too for young comedians as well. So I'm going to plug a couple things here and try to keep this intro short as they have been rambling as of late. We got some shows coming up. I will plug Mike Moran first since he's not on this show. Give him a little tip of the cap here. Mike's going to be doing stand-up September 16th.

I believe that is a Wednesday in Bel Air, Maryland at the Main Street Oyster House. So go see Mike, support him. And I've got some dates coming up as well. The 4th, September 4th. I'll be at Town Tavern DC doing.C., doing stand-up there. I believe that's a paid show. You can go to digressionsessions.com slash calendar for tickets and addresses and all that stuff for all these upcoming shows. On the 9th, I'll be at the Impala Cantina in Taqueria in D.C. September 10th through the 12th,

I'll be at Magoobie's hosting for Jimmy Dore. And let's see, there's a bunch of stuff going on in September, but the thing I will plug, at the end of September on the 30th, we'll be doing a live podcast. I'm very excited for that. That's going to be in D.C.,

well, just outside of D.C. in Arlington with Lee Camp. Go to digressionsession.com slash calendar, like I said, for all the info on that. Lee Camp, also a very funny guy, just happens to be located in DC. I don't know if you can tell, but I have no voice. Lots of party in this weekend, bro. You know how that goes.

You know how that goes. All right. Like I said, I'm trying not to ramble, but here I am rambling. Follow us on Twitter. I am at Josh Coderna. I am also at Josh Coderna on Instagram. It's Mike Moran Wood on Twitter

from Mike Moran. The podcast is at DigSeshPod. We're on Facebook. We got a page. Say hello. We'd appreciate that. Vote for us for best podcast in Baltimore. Go to citypaper.com and vote for us so we can get a big shiny plaque that says best in Baltimore. Because that's what it's all about, right? You want to be the best in Baltimore. You know, a Mark Maron can get the president, but was he ever voted best in Baltimore? I doubt it.

I really doubt it. All right, so shots fired. I'm going to go out on that. Go out on this mic drop here. Let's talk to John Conroy, shall we? Let's talk to John Conroy. All right, everybody. We love you. Thanks for listening.

Bye-bye. All right, so podcasting in the car professionally. We're starting over because I fucked up. Oh, okay. I'm sorry, John Conway. Back to, we're losing all, we're going to have to recreate all my witty riffs about the Estonia embassy. Yeah, they were good. They were good.

We look like we're on a shitty stakeout. It does. We are in your Crown Vic. Yeah, it's Grand Marquis. Grand Marquis. That's okay. So close your Crown Vic. Yeah. It's Grand Marquis. Grand Marquis. So close. I'm not offended. It's okay.

It's the same thing. How dare you? This is a 2005. I called your Civic a Corolla. Jesus Christ. All right. John Conroy. Very funny comedian.

Sitting in here with your lovely girlfriend or fiance. Fiance. Fiance. Jamie. Sitting in the back seat. In the back. in the back watching us judging us always we're we're out in the dc streets there's a helicopter for me 24 hours a day she's always in the back seat of your car yeah just watching waiting to go home

while you do your bullshit there you go oh my god it's obama obama's flying overhead yeah yeah he was like oh is that the dig sesh down there is that the dig sesh car i hope they're podcasting in there i wonder if it's how i always envisioned he's not wrong theater of the mind we are podcasting away i hope they riff on the estonia embassy and they don't lose it because the host is an asshole that piece of comedy is gone forever. I know. We can't recapture it. So we were actually just starting from the beginning of your story.

And I was saying the first time I saw you was at the DC Improv. Yes. Did a guest spot for Rory Scoville. And most of the show seemed to be his buddies. Like Danny Ruyeh was featuring. John Moomin was hosting. Stacked lineup. And then you did a guest spot.

And I knew Danny and John, but I had never seen you before. It was an old school D.C. reunion. Yeah. So I started here in D.C. with a lot of those guys. Yeah. And I was around for maybe about a year. I didn't take it that seriously. I would go a couple months without doing a show And then I'd do 10-12 shows

Yeah And then I got sober And moved to Minneapolis And then I started taking it pretty seriously Why Minneapolis? Because that's where my rehab center was Good old Hazelden Ah, shout out to Hazelden

Yeah, in Center City minnesota uh-huh um and then uh i stuck around there actually i had met those guys a couple of those guys but uh rory uh and john both came out to headline the club that i was working i worked as a doorman at the joke joint in the twin cities and uh after i'd been working there a couple months the owner asked me is there is there anybody from dc you'd highly recommend it i was like yes you have to get this rory scoville guy i think it was the first club he ever had i was gonna say what year was this? This was 2008. Okay, yeah. 2009, maybe. Uh-huh.

And then John actually came out and headlined the room, too. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. So that's how it got to... I didn't know those guys that well because I was drinking quite a bit. You don't go to rehab if you're not. But they had been nice to me, even though I was kind of a bit. You don't go to rehab if you're not. And then, but they had been nice to me, even though I was kind of a mess.

So, and they were, Rory, even then, you see, it's something special. He was special. You could see it.

And, yep. So, I got to know those guys out there a little bit. And then I started working the road for Minneapolis. Minneapolis is a great place to start because there's a lot

of road guys out there. There's a lot of structure. There's a lot of clubs. So if you go out to their open mics, you're going to be at a club three or four nights a week, which is very different

from around here. Oh, like they do open mics at like legit good clubs. Yeah, every, like Acme, Acme's open mic is like the best, it's considered the best open mic in the country. It's sold out every Monday night.

Wow. It's 300 people. You can't get a seat in it after 7.15 some weeks. And is it fairly new guys that are trying to work? DC Improv's trying to do that now with the foot mic. So what DC Improv's doing now isn't dissimilar from what acme does yeah um which is except uh it is sign up on site at acme oh so you sign up between six and seven and then if if it's your first time you get up automatically but then they have a roster that does is the last half of the list so it's all working oh comics yeah like the 10 or 11 spot to right right right

25 so yeah the second half even if the first half of the show is like hit or miss it's going to be killer in the second there's a lot of uh great comics that started out there swartzen and oh yeah that's right daniels and uh yeah swartz was like 19 isaac witty yeah awesome a lot of great jackie cation oh yeah yeah yeah i think jackie is originally from milwaukee yeah like yeah but like kind of in the area for a long time well let's kind of fortuit like did you like ending up in minneapolis and then actually having a good scene out there couldn't have worked out any better uh for me because i'm that's not how i'm wired i totally would have been a guy who yeah stuck around dc for like 18 months two years and then i would have had five minutes and i would have thought oh it's time to go to new york and i would have

been back down here with my tail between my legs pretty quickly yeah i have that 10 000 yard stare yes like that a lot of people get like, hey, how's New York? Like, it's hard. Yeah. It's really hard.

They're like staring through your skull and you're like, is it going to be okay? I don't know. Who knows? I've been moving there for four years now.

You got a lot of stuff. It's taken a while. I like how in my head if I never went to Minnesota, I'd have already been in New York. Yeah. Just a pit stop.

That's all. So how long were you in Minnesota? Five, six years. And that's kind of where you got serious about it. Yes. So when you work the clubs out there, I mean, the older guys will take you aside, and they'll tell you exactly what you need to do to get better. That's awesome.

People get bumped up they get they teach you how to host and then they once you got 30 they teach you how to feature and then they get you on the road and i was very lucky to go out um and do uh some tours with a guy named josh denny out in like the middle of nowhere, North Dakota and Montana. Was that your first tour? Kind of like going out on the road? Yeah, he worked for the now defunct, what was it? Can I remember the name of these guys? I can't remember the name of the booking company, but it was a widely known joke.

But they would book. Is it Tribble? I always heard Tribble runs. Well, Tribble's still going. Oh, okay. But these guys were known for booking midget wrestling, and they would book comedy on the side. Yeah.

And it would be these one-nighters, one hotel room. And I was too young and dumb to know that that wasn't, uh, normal supposed to do. Uh, so we go out and do those. I'm picturing you in a hotel room with a bunch of midget wrestlers, by the way. Yeah. But John,

we're going to take the bed. It is, uh, it was a great place to, I mean, learn how to feature though. Yeah. No,

none of the show Matt shows mattered. And to me they mattered a great deal at the time. Yeah. But in hindsight, I was like, oh, I got to do an entire level of comedy and learn how to do it without anyone that mattered ever seeing me. Right.

There's no other comics like, Jesus, you see Conroy last night? Yeah. Like, you're doing whatever you want. It wasn't like, oh oh he ruined the saturday early show yeah it was like oh like 40 people in a bar didn't have a good time like right but then you're learning from it too like all right the next one i'm gonna do different or whatever sure well and i was like i wasn't ready i don't think you're ever ready i don't think you're ever ready

when you start getting gigs like that you just have to step up and do it. Yeah. And you hope to make as few mistakes as you can. But it really helped me because by the time I started middling for bookers and in good rooms, I had 30 of written material that was good. I knew I was going to have, even if I had a bad set, it would look pretty good. It would still look like a B to that room. And they'd say, this guy looks like he knows what he's doing at least.

He didn't look green. He might be new, but there's no, comedy bookers like safety. That's what they like the most. They want a guy who can go in and do the job, and they're not going to have to worry about complaints. And I was that immediately because I'd made all my mistakes in Jamestown, North Dakota, or Williston, North Dakota. That sounds like the title of your book,

I Made All My Mistakes in Jamestown. Yeah, I Made All My Mistakes in Jamestown. Yeah, I Made All My Mistakes in Jamestown, which is really hilarious because that's also the nickname of my fiance. Oh, really? Yes. Wow. I have made a lot of mistakes in Jamestown. Is this thing recording? Thank God we caught that.

We've got a whole 45 minutes of hack coming at you. Accidental bullseye on that one. Boom. I made all my mistakes in Jamestown, North Dakota. That's what I call my wife. The John Conroy story. I'll be signing him in the lobby. Come say hi, y'all.

Didn't know you needed a rim shot for this podcast. Well, I'll edit it in post. Yes. Pretty much answer everything you say. Rehab, rim shot. Going right in there let's get those but is that where like so the first even the first time i saw you like it seemed like you kind of had this attitude of like i don't know not being like uncaring but kind of like a

certain confidence of like fuck you i'm funny kind of even when yeah you i mean I took that. I mean, that's something that I'd seen some of the guys I like do. Right. Where it's just like, here are the jokes. And if it's a bad audience, the jokes don't change. That's what I wrote, so that's what you get. And I mean, part of it, I try not to be like that all the time but uh if uh if it's sometimes i will give you know i will i don't care sometimes i don't care and that's and i don't mean to say like each time you're up there you're up there you're like i

don't give a shit but it's sort of like you have such a confident like it's almost just the the belief in your jokes that this stuff is funny. And I've seen you absolutely kill, of course. You're so fucking funny. And you do learn that the audiences will respond. The audience, a lot of the time, if a show's not going well, it's because the audience is nervous for the performers. Yeah, because they're like, eh, you don't want to put them on edge.

So if it doesn't bother you, a't bother you it won't a lot of times it won't bother them and sometimes a set that maybe gets off to a slow start if they see that it doesn't bother you then they will stick around and yeah because they're like okay he's taking us somewhere where it's going a little slow but i believe in this guy versus like he's not gonna make it you know it's making them uncomfortable well and i used to the uh the owner of joke joint comedy club ken reed who i worked uh as i worked at the uh i worked as a door guy for them for a long time we would go the workshop every week they would people would be like you just need to work on being more likable you need to drop you the at that point i was doing a lot of like anti a lot of people thought some of the jokes were anti-women so they'd be like oh you need to drop the jokes about

dating that are like graphic or dirty or yeah whatever else and uh at some point i actually remember watching chad Daniels at Acme one night and going like, oh no, I could just push through the other way. Right. I don't care. I don't care if you like me at all. Yeah. You're going to respect that the jokes are good.

Yeah. And that's the type of comedy I like. Yeah, I haven't seen too much of Chad's stuff. But yeah, I've heard a lot about him yeah he's uh he's he's a legend up there and yeah uh i think uh you know a lot of times many many hapless guys go on the road and they get tagged with that we're all doing a version of his act but i will admit i there was a particular show of when i saw him and he the audience just hated him and it didn't bother him at all really and i was like oh i want that when i need it right like i want to go

up and have a great set i want yeah to you know i want the the audience to be the to the nines and and have those but it doesn't always go like that yeah sometimes you need to bend the audience to your will yeah i kind of wrangle them in a little bit be like hey fucking have fun jesus christ if you have fun i'll have like we're all gonna have fun here you gotta do your part there was one time at big hunt uh where a girl went up and i think it was her first time she was drunk she missed the light and she was just rambling about whatever. Just like, you ever notice some dog wears pants? I remember this.

Yeah. And then you went up afterwards and you're like, all right, well, give it up for that girl. She's going to be okay. Or something like, made like some innocuous. I said, keep it going for so and so it's one of her first times she'll get better and the audience

groaned at me and I was like really? you're the ones who weren't laughing at anything that she said so don't act like I came up here and said she had a bad set you didn't laugh. And the audience was like, ooh, I guess we pushed this guy's wrong button.

It was such a perfect line. It's like, you like her now? You weren't fucking liking her two minutes ago. You hated her. That's my biggest pet peeve is when the audience acts like they weren't in the room five minutes earlier when they did. Yeah, that wasn't us. No, we weren't the ones icing her out we don't know what you're talking about no we loved her she was great

you're being mean to her no you were being mean to her no no yeah you hurt her psyche much worse than i ever could and i've never seen that girl ever again no maybe she maybe it wasn't okay maybe she killed herself hey all right digression sessions hey on that note thanks for doing the show yeah she was actually bringing that positivity she was actually my sister john but anyway uh no i've never seen her that she's probably dead i assume i assume she's doing good no but i've definitely seen it yeah there's shows where yeah you're having fun up there yeah but then there's other times which i think is so respectable where you will kind of go at them and say like no you need to do your part too well and i know i would never do that at uh at a show i was paid to be on right probably um i mean i i said yeah

i've definitely done that at shows i'm paid to be on uh but for the most part i try to be professional at those ones and but when it's an open mic and you're the seasoned pro like you it sometimes i if i'm having a bad set and that's i feel like the audience is bad i will yell at the audience and i think well i might not save my set but it could save a couple of the people behind me. You're diving on the grenade. Yeah. Yeah. Tell them.

Let them know they're there to see comedy, whether they like it or not. Sorry we're ruining your free show. Like, have fun. It is. It's not. It's only D.C. where audiences act like that. Really? Yeah.

Well, I live in Baltimore, so. I'm sure New York will be like that. Oh, yeah. That's what I hear. That everybody's just like, come on, move along. Like, I live in Baltimore. I'm sure New York will be like that. Oh, yeah. That's what I hear, that everybody's just like, come on, move along. They're jaded is what I hear. Funny is funny anywhere, though, man. You go up and tell the jokes. If the jokes work, they work.

Yeah. Is that the plan? I'm really getting profound. Is that your follow-up book? Oh, my God. If the jokes work, the jokes work. The John Conrads. I'm just going to listen to this podcast and hate myself later.

Well, thanks for listening, though. I appreciate that. Yes, I will, of course. Is that the plan, though? This will be the second. That'll be the second episode that I've listened to, although entire Patton Oswalt. Oh, nice.

That was a fun one. I actually listened to part of, now I'm going to forget. The guy, Koechner. Oh, yeah. David Koechner was very funny, too. Yeah was a fun one. I actually listened to part of, now I'm going to forget. The guy, Keckner. Oh, yeah. David Keckner. Yeah, yeah. Very funny, too. Yeah, that was great.

He was fired up about improv. I don't know how to say his name. Keckner. Is it Keckner? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, no, that was fun. And then wrestling him was great.

So I did a little research. Yeah, yeah. You're into it. I listened to those a year ago. I appreciate that. We actually, we did a show together the night in Baltimore, the night after we did the podcast.

The day you'd done it. You were podcasting with Pete Bergen, right? Yeah, with Pete, and I felt so bad because the whole podcast was just about Patton Oswalt, and I was like, dude, we gotta do another one with just you and I. He's like, so what was it like? I was like, it was fucking awesome.

He's the coolest. Where'd you grow up? Anyway, what Patton Oswalt did was. I wouldn't blame you if you went that way with this one, too. It was still surreal listening back to it. Patton Oswalt's in his mansion in Hollywood right now. I did one podcast with the guy one time. And now every podcast he does is about me.

It's fucking terrifying. I don't want to go back to Baltimore. He mentioned us inadvertently in a roundabout way on Pete Holmes' podcast. At the end of it, he was saying advice or something like that. He's like, I would just say just go out. Go to shows. Do shows. There's scenes everywhere. there are scenes everywhere he goes denver has a great scene san francisco has a scene then he pauses and he goes hell

even baltimore has a scene that's like that's us baby that is a new thing like thing thing though there wasn't a dc scene when i started here not much of one. Right. Sean and Max and Ramin and all the people around, guys who've made a scene. Yeah. But just busting their ass. And just doing it. There's multiple mics every single night here. Yeah, it was not. When I started, there was a lot of talent.

It was like Rory and Hampton and Mooma and Seton, Aparna. A ton. I mean, there's too many to even, I'm going to miss like Nick Turner and a lot of people with a lot of TV credits now. But there wasn't a lot of shows. I mean, maybe four shows a week. Damn. Like, I remember going out on like Sollies on Tuesday night, but you were just happy.

It was terrible, but you were just happy we had anything. Right, right. And now it's like you get to pick from whichever of the three or four shows you want to do every night. Yeah, you can literally do two or three a night, and most of them are in like walking distance. We've complained about the Big Hunt audience tonight, the entire walk back to the, but 45 people 50 people in that room packed and

it's like that every night yeah they have the mic there monday wednesday friday saturday i think it's fucking crazy that four nights a week and now there's two i mean it's like a b club too yeah it's like a comedy club i have a headline there i'm headlining there this saturday night oh nice yeah nice well i hope uh i hope you have fun. Yeah, I'm sure I will. No, you will. Have you headlined there yet? Yeah, I did. I think I did the first weekend. Oh, nice. How was it? Back in April. It was great.

Two of the better sets that I've had there. Probably because I, you know, went in with a little bit more of a softball. I was doing a little bit more of my likable stuff to get into it. The teddy bear version of John Conroy. The watered-down club version that everybody gets.

So when did you start? Like, how long have you been doing it? I'm coming up on, it'll be nine years in January. Wow. Awesome. Yeah. So, and then rehab, when's like when that was over was the decision to do comedy because like once you kind of had clarity you're like oh i actually enjoyed

that i should give it a like actually it was one of the reasons i decided to go to rehab in the first place i was like i was getting really bummed out because guys that i had started around had passed me, and I was like, well, I'm not getting any better. Right. I wasn't any, I mean, I would go out and do shows. I wouldn't remember anything I did. You know, I'd black out at shows, and then I'd go like, I had a great set at RERA last night, or Dr. Dreamo's last night,

and then I can't remember anything that I said. Jesus Christ I know I'm not going to write an act That way And it was the first time I had like genuine fear like oh this is something I want to do and I know If I don't get sober there's no chance

Damn so comedy was kind of The impetus to get sober It was for a while I mean like I needed to either way right um i was drinking 40 beers a day 40 a day jesus miller lights this is water it's just okay i'm not impressed anymore yeah there you go still 40 um son on a 40 was like a maintained day that was like but just to even out yeah there were the bad days were like 70 or 80 drinks how do you do that how are you not just in the bathroom all day just pissing your

oh i was right it was okay um but uh i got to be part of the fun i guess right peeing i'm great at peeing god man take a nice fresh ass piss every oh yeah yeah half hour just clean out the system make some room for those other miller lights old beachwood shits great apartment buildings beach uh so was what was that from was that like a college thing or is that just like a in your like early 20s like partying thing or like that bled into i think it's a i mean it's a family thing man i uh i have it it's uh it's uh you know my my grandfather had it and uh there's uh i have an aunt on my mom's side who had it yeah i have it in spades damn man for sure it was uh uh you know i think uh everyone who ever drank with me probably

knew it right but uh i wasn't like a mean drunk or anything like that i just uh would uh i just couldn't stop i mean i would get at some i was like a heavy drinker and a partier for a long time. Yeah. And then I spent a summer, I went to the beach for a summer. I moved to Dewey Beach. Beachwood Shits. There was like friends of mine were doing a summer share where they would go down on the weekends. And it was like 700 bucks for a spot for the whole summer. And they were like, well, if you don't have a job during the week,

you could just live down at the beach. Yeah. And I was like, oh, well, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to move down to the beach, and I'll get a job when I got down there. And I just didn't get a job. High jobs. When I moved down there,

I drank every day that summer all day long. And I was like, well, it's just going to be this summer. And I was like, when I get back Labor Day, I'm going to get my life together. And then when I got back, well, it's just going to be this summer. And I was like, when I get back Labor Day, I'm going to get my life together. And then when I got back Labor Day, I went back to my old job, which was in a restaurant, so I could easily drink all day there, too. No, restaurants, they don't tend to do drugs or drink there, so you're good. Right.

But I wore out my welcome. I couldn't. Day drinking, you can't maintain if you're doing it 24 hours a day. There are going to be some moments where you don't have it all together. And someone's like, that guy is not qualified to be working right now. What were you doing? Were you in the kitchen? Sadly, well, I was waiting tables for a while.

And then I kept missing shifts. So finally, they were like, all right, you're off the floor. Yeah. And then for the last part, I was the catering delivery driver. I would just drive all around. I mean, that's the half of it, really. But I drank and drove around the city for 11 years. Jesus Christ.

Yeah. I mean, never once got caught. caught wow never once had an accident uh by the grace of god or whatever you believe in right something kept somebody safe yeah yeah i just assumed the kitchen because i'm like that's probably the only place you can maintain that type of behavior nope but now you're out in the open road yeah i was out on the open road i would have uh i would have like a kitty cup of uh mimosa while i was driving around so you're like it's just a kitty cup well yeah that's what the thought was if you ever got pulled over like i'm obviously officer i'm not gonna be drinking alcohol. That's juice. I love juice. It's in the juice cup.

How else am I supposed to get vitamin C? Yeah. My juice. So, okay, so then I guess, like you're saying, just kind of like comedy was kind of getting away from you, and then like your peers are moving on, and you're like, well. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it was a writing thing. Like I had a five minutes that I thought, and I didn't know I should be writing more I was like well that five minutes does pretty good and then I saw

Hampton was really the one I saw Hampton would go out like seven nights a week and he'd have a new ten every week and I was like oh this I'm not gonna ever no one's ever gonna give me anything in this business kids like that who are he's supremely talented

but a hard worker, man. Oh, yeah. Grind, I hate that, but. He does. He's a grinder. Yeah, I saw him at a Mike once, and he just had a ton of note cards with the tiniest. And they were all like, Aparna was like,

I mean, Nick, all those guys that I, Jermaine Fowler. Yeah, yeah. And they were out they wrote every day and they go to Mike's and I'd show up with my same five minutes and you get to look like a pretty huge asshole after a while

but were you getting laughs? yeah I would get laughs but if we were ever in a room where like it was the same audience from the week before I was, yeah.

So like we heard this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, yeah. That's the weirdest thing too. And you're like,

I want to work on new stuff, but I'd like to be good tonight too. Like, well, I want to do this, but yeah, there is a thing too. Once you're around your peers and other comedians,

like, Hey, still doing that same five, seven minutes. That's cool. Cool. Cool. So, okay. So then they're like kind of just moving on and they're like well i'm gonna get sober now it got sober and then uh i was uh i would go to acme every week i would do a new three minutes every

week for like the next two years and that's when i you know started to put it together wow and then got out on the road, and it was great. It has been great for me. That's awesome, man. Was that huge, just kind of setting that rule for yourself, it sounds like, to write a new three minutes every week? Yeah, someone had told me there's all these myths about the Acme, what Lewis looks for, Lewis Lee looks for in the new guys that he's hired. And someone told me that what he wants most

is people who write new material all the time. And I was like, well, I'll just write a new three every single week until he notices. And he never did. But it was the best thing I ever did. Yeah. And it, I got, I got, for like two, so it was two years that I had that like five minutes. And then that third year I wrote my first hour.

I mean, by the end of that year I was headlining some shows. Uh-huh. And I was featuring pretty much, I mean, I went through that period where I went and did all the shows. And I said, you make all the mistakes on. Yeah. But by the end of that, I mean, the end of that 2009, I was working pretty steadily for the Yoders and Samara and Doug and Dana, all the big Midwest bookers. And I had, you know, the makings of a career. That's awesome, man.

Yeah. So it was, you know, it's amazing. It does click, too too for some people i don't know if i could have written like that yeah down here yeah when uh when i first started but at some point you start to get comfortable on stage someone uh wild bill bauer who's a min a Minnesota guy long time road guy was like a he was the campus entertainer of the year in the 80's

he he told me what's 15's the key cause if you can do 15 and you start to get comfortable then it just becomes the process of writing jokes interesting there's no amount get comfortable then it just becomes the process of writing jokes interesting not interesting you know you there's no amount if you're comfortable ups on stage doing 15 minutes 30 is not going to

throw you off and 45 might feel long before you have it but right you'll be able to get there right 30 is close yeah yeah interesting yeah i've done uh i've had a few sets so far where i've done like 20 25 and stuff like that and where yeah it is kind of cool to actually be like oh i'm kind of putting together like even thematically like oh these bits all kind of match a certain thing there's a through line right you start to get chunks instead of just jokes versus like here's seven different things that i've just kind of smashed together trying to fill time. Right. There's a flow to it. Yeah, yeah.

So I'm almost three years in, so I'm kind of right at that spot where doing mics and then just being around your peers and being like, well, I want to do well, but I want to write new shit too. You're in good shape too because you're just a natural working with the crowd too. That's probably from improv background. Yeah, yeah. a natural working with the crowd too that's probably from improv yeah yeah feeling you yeah already feeling i imagine that gives you another level of comfort yeah it's nice to already be to like already have stage experience i guess and kind of being up there like muma the first time he saw he's like yeah you look comfortable up there yeah once you're comfortable with silence

yeah yeah yeah which you don't want to be too comfortable with it, but... No, no, like, whoop, crushed it again. Complete silence. Yeah, it's... Yeah, I'm trying to. Yeah, I'm trying to work on... You gave me advice of my braces pussy joke of trying to cut the paws out. I've been working on that.

Yeah, I don't know what I saw that saw that one night but it was like just a tick off yeah or whatever yeah yeah and which uh which i told my girlfriend about when i got home it's like yeah conroy told me to do this and it's i just think like conversation between comedians it's like there's just a little bit too much of a pause right before you say drowning pussy you gotta get right to like there is a science to it but it sounds so silly it is a science to it, but it sounds so silly. It is a weird thing. You pick it up with cadence. Like, I just wrote a new joke, and I was out with my sponsor, and he was like, you got any new jokes, man? And I was like, yeah.

I said, I've lost 100 pounds, but I'm still a before photo. And then we went and had dinner with a bunch of other people that we knew from the program. And we're leaving. And he was like, he told my joke to someone else. About you? Yeah, which right off the bat, I was like, well, you're not doing yourself any favors. Because when you say it, you sound like a huge asshole. That's a first-person joke.

It just sounds mean as shit. He told the guy, he's like, he's lost 100 pounds, but he's still a before picture. And I was like, I was like, live it in my mind. Like, I can't say that to a layperson, but I was like, no in my mind like I can't say that to a lay person but I was like no it's photo it worked

picture is not the right word photo is the right word picture's not funny it's like something I know I'm like

how do I give it like it was driving me I was like well I can't explain eight and a half years of comedy experience to this guy

and why it's he's gonna think i'm a crazy person right if i'm like dude next time it's photo yeah not picture it's photo and let's work on that cadence a little bit because you sound like a total dick and that's the thing like you don't but i know in my mind it's photo it and it bugs me if someone right what did the person say like oh well good for you john i think you look great they were like at first like is it i he had a very like oh is that okay to laugh at yeah you're still before yeah and i was like yeah it's my joke better off told in first person i tell i tell it a little bit better a little yeah you told

that tonight i got a good reaction yeah it's a it's a nice like opener just kind of like right there just popping it open i did i had them right where i wanted them and then they didn't i got into that baby fucking material that's the thing though that's good baby fucking it's good baby fucking well there i think there's some people in the audience that have babies that have been fucked. You think it's a Jared thing? You think it's because of Jared? Well, it's a sensitive time. They thought when I was handing out the picture, maybe they didn't see the picture yet. They thought it was porn. Right.

Well, the PowerPoint didn't help. I'll tell you that. That's true. But it's a nice visual. That's what I need for that joke, really. Do a TED Talk on it? Absolutely. Baby fucking.

Where does it come from? You and a turtleneck doing the fingertip touching thing that they all do right well i mean it's i like i think what i love best about that particular joke is that i feel like it would offend a lot like that's i could get like a uh i could piss off a middle-aged lady at a club with that like oh i didn't like what he had to say about having sex with babies but it's too hard to explain that joke yeah when you're complaining about it you're like well what's the joke about well he had a picture it was a baby picture and he handed it around so he's talking and he's saying he's gonna fuck the baby no no it's his girlfriend oh is this girl and his

girlfriend's a baby of a yeah his girlfriend's a 30-year-old person It's a baby picture of her So what's the complaint? Right, what's the complaint? It seems like this guy has every right to fuck that bitch From what I'm hearing It sounds like he's in the right So what were some of the highlights over nine years?

Besides podcasting in a car man oh i mean like besides those three minute kind of sets where you're like i'm kind of putting this together i you get to work that working with the guys that you really like and respect yeah is the most fun right right right you know uh open it like uh kevin bozeman is one of my favorite guys to work mike maryfield like there's so much i know so many great comedians yeah that even other comics don't know who they like right the guy there's guy so many guys that are these like 20 year vets who for whatever reason it just never broke for them on television. Yeah.

And I've worked with all of them and I just think they're the best. And I have a lot, you know, people make fun of road hacks, but there are guys out there who, I mean, Tom Simmons and Danny Bevins and Bent, Bent lives around here. Bent Washburn, yeah. In the D. Bent lives around here. Bent Washburn, yeah.

In the D.C. scene, no Bent Washburn. But there are those guys who have been doing it 20 to 25 years. And I think they're better than anyone. You know, Jackie Cation was like that before. You know, she's kind of gotten some notoriety now. But just kind of just people on the road just perfecting their craft. David Crowe, like Kermit Apio. Yeah, I don't think there's any of them, you know, Patton says there's these scenes.

Well, there's guys who have been the heads of these scenes for 25 years. And for whatever reason, they never moved in New York or L.A. But they're every bit as good as the, you know, they're not good. They're not, I mean, they might not be Bill Burr good. They might not be Louis C.K. good, but they are way better than your average headliner. They almost kind of have to be, too, if they're not that well-known, because if they're touring headliners, like with Bill Burr, you're going to, you'll be excited to see him. You're going to give him a little bit of leeway versus like, who's this guy? Yeah. And there are guys, I mean, they've made careers yeah just of just being really good and developing a brand in their

market and having you know they've got corporate careers some of them and yeah some of them yeah corporate gigs and stuff some of them write for shows stewart huff like oh yeah i know that dude you you uh you meet a guy like that and you're like, how did you ever survive living in Athens, Georgia? And then you're like, oh, you've written for Squidbillies and all these weird shows. Yeah. Oh, okay, that makes perfect sense. Right, right. So I've gotten to work with all those guys and it made me, you know, Daryl Lennox is another guy.

Like, there's so many of these guys that they're my favorite comics. Right. That's a tough, when people ask me, you know, like, who are your favorites? I oftentimes am telling them 10, 15 names they've never heard of. Damn. And I just feel blessed. I mean, that's, you know, I've hit them both grinding and blessed

hashtag blessed but if you love comedy I feel bad that the general public doesn't know that they're not more well known damn when did you get to that point where you

were, because you don't have a day job, right? No, I haven't had a day job in six or seven years. Fucking A, man. That's pretty impressive. 2010 was probably the last time I worked a shift. Wow. Because, yeah, you're becoming that. This sounds lame, too, but you're becoming a road dog.

You're out there a lot. It's it's weird 40 weeks it's weird because it is tougher uh now to move up that way i mean it is like if you don't have any credits i'm i'm finding right now uh that uh it's a slower burn to get uh you know used to be you could go out and bury guys and they'd move you up because you ruin the show right right but that doesn't really happen anymore because everybody's got an agent a manager and if they're bad they were just bad that week but they sold a ton of tickets yeah you still can't you're selling not interested in you right line right um but uh sales it does i mean there are advantages to it, too. Like, now I'm getting ready to move to, I feel, I don't think you can ever be completely ready. Yeah.

But it's not like I'm ever going to be at a New York open mic and, like, doubt my material. Yeah. Like, I'll have bad shows like everybody else, but I won't, like, get off stage and go, like, oh, I guess that joke's not up to par. Or what am I doing with my life? Oh, my God. No, I'll go, oh, that would work a lot of places. It's just tonight's not the night. Yeah.

I feel prepared in that respect. And, yeah, I mean, it's weird. I heard Marin on something recently basically suggest that he was talking about guys who came up that way. He's like, how that doesn't exist anymore. And when he was saying it, I'm like, have you ever heard someone on whatever it was, radio or podcast, telling someone that you don't exist? Like my actual, that's how it felt in that moment he doesn't i mean he wouldn't know yeah but which is weird because i thought he's there are some of us still out there who are doing it that way there has to be i mean there's so there's so many clubs in the

country so big they got they got to be out there and who's gonna be working them anything in this business i mean they tell you not to do that because like all you get hacky but that was never a i'm such a snob yeah that i don't feel like that was a danger for me i wasn't gonna ever write for the bar rooms it is weird my style it is weird that you open up your sets and you're like ladies when you do that for like three minutes but it works for you i don't think it's hacky. No, Noel, you know. And then you close on fellas. Whatever pays the bills. I just go, hey, you ever been, you know, when your wife.

Woo, yeah. The thing, and you're like, I wish you didn't do that thing. Yeah. And then some guy's pointed his old lady. This guy gets it, right? I feel like even my hack references are hacky now. Dude, his hack is so hack. I can't even tell you what hack is unless I see it in front of me. If I see it in front of me, I'm like, there it is.

That's hack. You know it when you see it. Yeah. Immediately. Immediately. Yeah. How much of that do you see on the road like because i i'm you're probably headlining in like a few spots but then featuring a lot too i feel like i've come out the other side though like now i'll see it it doesn't even throw me

off i go like um guess i'm working with this guy like of course yeah yeah yeah it doesn't even and like i like to think part of that is like, I've gotten better too. So it's, it's. You get paired with better guys. I don't feel like. You only feel bad about that when, when they do better than you. Right. You never like, you know, I don't have like, if I go to a a club and I crush and the guy doesn't do as well in whatever spot it is, if it's before me or after me, I go like, well, this is justice.

Right, right, right. My particular piece of justice just happens in Clayton, North Carolina instead of New York City for that week. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm starting to get into that a little bit just going up to like harrisburg comedy zone working there and i got to uh work with uh raymond the amish comedian oh yeah and congratulations could not have been a nice yes i don't mean to brag could not have been a nicer guy oh yeah sure he's uh i'm sure i mean that's that is a hard and fast rule. Yeah. If the worst the comic, the nicer the guy. Really? Yeah.

Because Bobby Slayton was not nice. Well, I mean... He might have been... I said comic, not relic. He was having a rough week, to be fair to him. Who knows?

Who knows? I remember telling that... That's not an excuse. Telling you that story, too, and you're like, Jesus, you're having a rough run. Unless it was me when I went back to drinking

for a little while, and then you gotta give me a pass because you know yeah the disease yeah that's how you just do something terrible say the disease it's the disease when it hurt me it's the disease when when it's fun i was like i was a crazy drinker uh oh mug to the camera freeze frame all right how long we visual joke for the listeners oh you gotta keep those going alright we're at about

45 here plus the maybe like 10 that we probably the 10 that we lost well I feel bad dominating your time in this sweaty car

at this point it was a lot of fun man we finally did it yeah you asked me to do it the night that you filmed with

Patton Patton yeah andon, yeah. And then. Here we are. Like a year and a half. It actually took Matt Stanton. Yeah. Matt Stanton was like, have you done his podcast?

And I was like, I think I was supposed to. And I was like, I actually didn't care if we did it. I was just like, I don't want Josh to feel like I was an asshole. No. No, I'm glad we did. I'm just not fucking with you. No, well, that's the thing, too. My main concern was I like Josh.

I don't want Josh to think I just... No. How big of an asshole... So you do a podcast with Patton Oswalt, and then I'm like, no, I'm not doing that guy's podcast. Way too big a deal. Way too big a deal for Josh to do this podcast.

Look, I'm going to give it some time, all right? I'm going to give it a year and a half. Leave it to Oswalt and Koechner. I'll do that podcast when I get around to it. But I digress. Oh! This freaking guy over here. See now who works the road.

This guy. Still this guy. Getting hot. Getting hot. No, I knew it was not At the top of your list Which is totally fine That's not what it was

I knew you weren't Waking up in the middle Of the night like I haven't done Josh's podcast yet No no I'm a terrible person But I like you Josh

You're fun Oh thank you I like you John You are fun It would be fun To just hang out With Josh Kuderna This is fun

I hadn't done a podcast I hadn't been really Thoroughly annoyed By a local comic who wants to do a podcast in like a year. It seems like a year. Yeah, to scratch that itch. I was like, I got to see. Maybe I wrote that off too quickly. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I want to tell my life story to a guy I barely know in a car. I like to end every podcast i do by acting too good to do the next podcast i'm gonna do been there done that like i won't be in harrisburg pa next weekend doing some shit birds podcast hey that's a good podcast of you the old shit bird podcast bird hour that's what i'm it's abird hour It's a good time It's a good time Shitbird's podcast

I would maybe listen to that one Yeah it's not bad Harrisburg P.A. It's no digression session But I digress Okay Here we go He's killing it

What about your wife? Alright She's right in the back Hey Always laughing When are you two Always laughing off mic When are you two tying the knot officially? It's up to her She's gotta She's shaking in the back. Always laughing. When are you two? Always laughing off Mike. When are you two tying the knot officially?

It's up to her. She's got to. She's shaking her head. Okay, cool. Things are happening. Any moment now, it seems like. Any time. When you're in love, what's the fucking hurry?

Right. You're already having a great time. Yeah, Matt Stanton, he was supposed to be on the podcast and uh then he was like hey don't release that it's like okay but his show got canceled so we talked for like 10 minutes and the funny thing do it again sometime yeah yeah if he ever comes through that's why he sent me here he wants to rebook okay yeah i'll have him on he uh he there was a thing about uh college is being too pc and he was like can you cut that out yeah that's been taught I was just and I feel fine saying that because it's so far

at the end of the podcast nobody from NACA is probably listening at this point that was a big thing because of Seinfeld and then it got dragged out now I feel like the extremes are both wrong on that like anytime

first of all there's a definition to the words politically correct and it shouldn't be a part of a comedy show right without a doubt yeah but anybody any comic who's like ah that audience is just too politically correct like we were talking about that one earlier tonight that guy's an asshole uh Uh-huh. That guy, you know, play to the, you gotta do the audience that's in front of you, and it's, an audience has never not, they're never like, oh, we're not laughing at that joke because of the political implications of that joke. Right.

If the joke is funny, they will laugh, no matter how awful the topic. Yeah, that's the weird thing too is that when you see a video it's like so and so you won't believe the awful thing they said it's like and they're killing like the crowd's laughing what like all that's i love comics will say too soon there is no such thing as too soon there's just not it's your joke wasn't funny enough right it's either funny enough or it's not yeah there's no too soon yeah your joke wasn't funny enough right it's either funny enough or it's not yeah there's no too soon yeah the joke works or it doesn't yeah i think i saw i forget who

posted it jay white cotton do you know that guy he's an austin comic okay he posted something like when a booker says the name is familiar when they when a booker says don't wear shorts they're not saying it because you're not allowed to wear shorts. It's just you're not funnier than wearing shorts. Yeah, it's true. It's a good point. I've worn shorts a shit ton on stage. I used to wear sweatpants on stage. I don't know if we should probably.

After I went out to Minnesota, then I went back to drinking for a little while. And now I'm back on the wagon again. Yeah, losing weight. Yeah. Losing weight. You look svelte. You look like an after photo. Come on now. Does this horn work? All the way around.

We did it. There it is. We did it, guys. Hey, the digression session. That was a bit of a session of digress. Now it's bothering me because I feel like after should have picture. It should be after picture. After picture?

No, it's after photo. After picture. I was right the first time. Yeah, no, you're good. This has been fun. Hey, trust yourself. That was just a warm-up. Let's get into it now.

Deepest, darkest secret. No, I'm done. I've done my 45. I'm a road guy. I don't do more than 45. Yeah, your paycheck's on the... The light... It's in the glove box.

The wait staff's starting to get restless. All right. Well, what do you want to plug? You're on the internets? Can people find you? I'm on the lights in the glove box. The wait staff is starting to get restless. All right. Well, what do you want to plug? You're on the internets? Can people find you? I am. I'm on the internet. I'm being Roanoke, Virginia, September 12th at Star City Comedy Club.

Nice. Then let's see. I think I'm going to be – I think I just booked – I'm going to be opening for Andy Kindler November 13th and 14th. Nice. At the Arlington Draft House That's a good spot. He seems like a really cool dude. I have opened for him

before and he is absolutely one of the coolest guys I've ever met Last time he did the Draft House he came up and did the open mic in the front He is a total sweetheart He was. He did this great joke about Louis C.K. It was right around the time Louis doing a new hour every year was like, oh, my God.

And his joke was like, yeah, I heard Louis C.K. had the cure for AIDS, but he didn't finish it until the year started over. So he had to throw it away. Yeah. And the whole crowd's like, what are you talking about? It's a great joke. It's like, what do I kill in the main room and i bomb in front of 15 people what is this what is he bombs out and that's his it's the best yeah he was he was so fucking cool i've seen him kill and it's i'm like this is it's not as much fun yeah not as much fun when he's killing yeah it's this the self-hate in between the jokes with Andy is where it really, you're like, oh, this is comedic heaven. We've gone past. That's the thing.

You see enough comedy shows that Andy Kindler's all that's left. He's at the end of the spectrum. He's out there. How come you don't have an album yet? I do have an album. Do you? What? Now that you mention it.

What? Now that you mention it. What? Now that you mention it, my first one is called John Conroy, White People Can Do Whatever They Want. Finally. Which is a fun title. Yeah. Even more fun. I caught it in, I think it was 2012, 2013.

Okay. April 2013, I think it was. Where? July 2013 it came out. Where can people get that? It's on iTunes. Nice. And Amazon.

I didn't know that. I'm going to get that. Whatever else. Spotify. And I cut it, and then it came out and it was getting played on like a 24-7 comedy radio, the one out of Texas or whatever

and they made me like Comic of the Week or whatever. Nice. And I was like, there's no way this could go wrong and then I turned it, I was listening to it and the comic is like,

check out the Comic of the Week. It's John Conroy and his debut album, I was listening to it, and the comic is like, check out the comic of the week. It's John Conroy and his debut album, White People Can Do Whatever They Want. And I was like, no, no! That's not what I was hoping for. Whatever. It was one of those blue-collar guys, too, and I was like, this is, I ruined it. It's over.

Comic customer. Whatever they want. And then he says something racist real quick. Stopped working Biloxi since that moment. Yeah. You have the whole crowd saying, whatever. All right. Well, thank you for doing this.

Jamie, anything to plug? Jamie? Plug? I got nothing. Do it on the mic. If you can plug, where are you going to be next week? Where are you going to be?

Where can the people find you? Instacart. She's on Instagram. Find her. Instacart, Instagram. She isn't on Instagram. Yeah. The comic's wife.

I'm not on Instagram, so if you want to see photos of me, you got to go on Instagram. Yeah. The Comics Wife. I'm not on Instagram, so if you want to see photos of me, you've got to go on hers. Yeah. You can look at whatever you want. Whatever you want. Thank you to everybody for listening. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram. I'm at Josh Coderna. The podcast is at Dig Sesh Pod on Twitter, digressionsessions.com.

Write and review us on itunes and stitcher and uh we'll see you next time on digression session bye bye everybody digression sessions come on to an end Thank you. you