The Digression Sessions - Ep. 174 - Greg Behrendt! (@GregoryBehrendt)

Episode Date: November 28, 2015

Hola, Digheads! This week we are joined by comedian, author, musician, and sweater wearer - Greg Behrendt! This ep is one of our favorites!  In this ep, Greg talks about his old podcast "Walking The Room," he gets introspective on the highs in lows experienced in both the local and national world of comedy, discusses his bout of stomach cancer over the summer, shares his thoughts on Oprah and his experiences on her show after he co-authored the book "He's Just Not That Into You," and his love of music and guitar and his band The Reigning Monarchs. Greg rules. Thanks for listening, all! Do us a favor and rate and review us on iTunes & Stitcher plz!   Follow your boys, Mike & Josh, on Twitter and Instagram.  Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram Mike - @MikeMoranWould on Twitter The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook For live stand up and improv dates, check out - DigressionSessions.com/Calendar

Welcome to the Digression Sessions Podcast. Hey, everybody. I'm Josh Koderna. And I'm Mike Moran. And you're listening to the Digression Sessions Podcast, a Baltimore-based comedy talk show hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers. Join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence. As we interview local and non-local comedians, writers, musicians, and anyone else we find creative and interesting. Yes.

Who's the guest this week greg barrett is the guest on this week's program mr gregory barrett who you can find on twitter at gregory barrett and uh he is a comedian a musician an author and just a fucking really cool guy one of the uh coolest people that mike and i ever got to interview i would say one of the nicest guys and uh he's been around for a while man he started doing stand-up out in california and was a part of the beginning of the whole alt scene uh david cross pat noswalt all those guys janine garofalo and uh he uh co-wrote the book he He's Just Not That Into You, right? And he's in a band called the Reigning Monarchs, which is an instrumental surf punk ska band, which is really cool. And he used to co-host a podcast, Walking the Room,

with fellow comedian Dave Anthony. And we talk about all that stuff in the podcast, as well as Greg getting cancer over the summer in Australia while doing a comedy festival out there. And now he's back, man. And he's touring and seems to not waste any time. And it was really cool. He was doing stand-up out in Baltimore about a week ago.

And he let Mike and I come interview him in his hotel room. And like a dummy, I forgot to bring microphones because who needs those when you're doing a podcast? So the recorder that I use has internal microphones. So we just put the recorder on a little ottoman and we all kind of huddled around it. So the sound is different on this one. It does sound like we're in a big empty room, but I think you get used to it after a while. And I hope you guys enjoy it because he tells some great stories uh of course in you know australia and overcoming cancer and talks about doing oprah hanging out scarlett johansson how

he got into comedy and just really really cool man we talked about music for a bit and uh this is one of the funnest podcasts we did so thank you to greg for doing it and uh thank you guys for listening so make sure you follow him and he's touring all over the place so check out his twitter and uh usually updates it with all his upcoming shows and all that stuff so check it out and uh yeah thanks again to greg now to uh to plug a couple things for uh for for josh josh kaderna here for old me old speaking third person kaderna uh i'll be at the dc improv this thursday december 3rd I'll be doing stand-up at their open mic, which really isn't an open mic. You can't fool around there. So hopefully you guys can come out to that. I think it's free or either very cheap, but a bunch of great local comedians

are going to be there and some bigger names may pop through as well. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. I am at Josh Kaderna on there. Mike Moran, my trusty sidekick, he is at Mike Moran Wood on Twitter. And he writes a column in Brightest Young Things. So check that out for brightestyoungthings.com. And yeah, goodaggressionsessions.com. We got all our episodes there. We're on iTunes and Stitcher. If you guys could rate us and review us, we'd really appreciate it. And our Facebook page, like it, let us know what you enjoy about episodes. I like to always hear back from people. So it always trips me out that anybody even listens to the podcast, but we're getting some

great numbers and a lot of great feedback. So it's been really, really cool. And doing stuff like this, like the episode with Greg is just uh it's amazing man so i hope you guys enjoy it uh i'm done rambling let's uh let's let's talk to greg let's go to a hotel room in timonium maryland shall we okay bye bye see you there we love you oh and i hope you had a good Bye-bye! And so like and I had again I had zero interest in it, you know, but my my My buddy the guy who makes my t-shirt here grab a seat man. We can put it. Yeah, where should we put it? Right here. Yeah Something like that you guys crowd around it. Oh when they finally did a Joker origin story They decided to do

a stand-up comedian, a failed stand-up comedian. Yes. And in this one, you get that too. But yeah, fair enough. Most likely me.

I don't know, man. After that late show last night, I'm right there in the failure category. So I have, oh, it's just a, you know, late night Friday night.

Yeah. Yeah. The guy that is the feature is really, really funny, but he ends on an enormous labia joke that goes on for a long time. Oh, I know. Demo, and it, like, doesn't fly with it and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Actually, I had an Uber rider yesterday who, or maybe two days ago. I had an enormous leap. It was complaining about, you know, I told her I didn't stand up and she was complaining about the lady, a joke at the last stand up show she went to. Interesting. She was offensive.

Yeah, guys were like screaming, get in there, man, get in there, get in that pussy, like yelling. So my,

my vibe is just different after that. You don't have a get in there pussy? I don't have a get in there. You don't have a get in there pussy joke. Yeah. Up front. Yeah,

yeah, I don't have a get in there. I mean, I got a good get out of jail free with the cancer thing. Talking about having cancer this summer. Because I had cancer, so. Yeah. I can get the sympathy going. And, you know, I just acknowledge that.

I go, look, we're going to need to take a minute after that labia joke. We got to let that rest for a minute because we're gonna change. There's gonna be a sea change in the room right now. How did the audience react to that? They were alright. They laughed, you know.

But I just, I never got them. It's one of those things you just go, you know. I mean, I blew it into my material but I got off early. I had like 43 minutes

instead of 45 and I was done. I was fucking, yeah, they were done. I was done. Yeah. I think you're right there at the finish line, so that's probably fine. Yeah, I mean, nobody cared.

I don't think anybody cared. I mean, at that point, they needed to be released. Like, there's a certain point where you go, I don't need to beat them down just to get my time in. They're done. It's a hostage situation. Yeah, right. It is a hostage situation completely. Well, it definitely comforts me to know that people at all levels have, you know, not perfect shows sometimes.

Oh, my God. Most of the time. I mean, no. But, you know, but I mean, like, that's a, like, there's, you know, there's the, like, the opener, Toc, was like, you look like you were fucking having a great time. I go, I've been doing this for 26 years. I know how to do it. Right. You know, certain people thought it was fine,

but I was like, I'm not selling merch after that one. I didn't know why I'm standing in the lobby with my fucking t-shirts. Right, making eye contact with people. I'm out of here. No, I don't want an assessment from anybody. You know, I don't want a visual assessment from anybody. I did fine the first show.

I could use more labia jokes. I wish I had something for you, but once somebody's flown down a flight of stairs on their vagina, like Batman, you really don't have any more labia jokes. Sure. You heighten the labia as much as you can with that one. He's going for it. He's going for it. The premise is a woman tells him that she has fat pussy lips at a dinner.

So, I mean, you know. I've got to say, it's fresh. I've never heard of it. He's not a bad comedian at all. He's great. The crowd loves him. Damon's really funny. Yeah, he's really fucking funny.

They really love him. And Toc's good, too, man. Yeah, I love Toc. He's hilarious. Is this your first time at Magoobies? This is the first time. Are we rolling? Yeah, we're rolling.

Oh, good. Yeah, we just snuck it in there. I love it. I love it. Yeah, this is my first time here. I haven't been to Baltimore since there was an improv downtown. Is there still an improv? There's not an improv.

No, not downtown anymore. Now there's the Baltimore Comedy Factory, which was downtown, and now it's moved to sort of the outskirts of the city, and it's in a hotel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I did the Baltimore Improv when it was there for about 13 people. And it was like 2003, 2004. It was right before all the shit went down with the book and all that.

I think I was working at Saxon City and I had the weekends to go do stand-up. Yeah, and the book is... He's just not that indie. Right, right. So it was all pre stand up. Yeah. And the book is, and, and he's just not that into you. Right. Right. So it was all pre that. Right. So,

um, I, you know, I think I had a, that was when I did this special called I'm cool. I think, no, I don't even think that I had a CD of it.

And, uh, um, yeah, I don't know. They just asked me to headline. So, uh,

I think I, I think, I think I must've brought in 13 or 14 people to show. Double digits, man. You know, when you get up in the teens, you know you're catching fire. Yeah, so that's what I remember about it. I used to use it as a joke. I used to say, well, because at the time, it was exactly the time when the girl from the show show from sex in the city, that was my writing partner on the book said, let's write a book.

And I said, there are 13 people waiting for me at the Baltimore improv. So I have a, I have another career. It's not like my shit isn't already on fire. So I like that truly. I really didn't, I really wasn't interested. I was really only interested in doing standup. That's all I wanted to do. And we're, you know, I worked on the show to make money and then I would get, I was just starting to get headlining dates for the first time, you know,

because you get to a point as a feature, like, where eventually they're like, well, you know, people can't follow you. Right.

Only because it's easy. Once you're good enough, Right. they should, they should have a hard time following you. Right. Because you fill that

half hour up with just so much power that, like, anybody who has to then stretch out to an hour has their work set out for them. So, you know, obviously, a good headliner could always follow anybody. You should always be able to follow anybody. But I was at that point where I was like,

well, we've got to move him up because there's no point in featuring him. But then I had no draw because I wasn't famous necessarily. I'd done a half hour comedy out or whatever. You had the Comedy Central special. No, the Comedy Central special, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I had the draw because I wasn't famous necessarily. I'd done a half hour comedy out or whatever. You had the Comedy Central special. The Comedy Central special, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I had the Comedy Central special.

Was that later or was that like 2005 or something? No, the special was in 99. Oh, really? Wow. Did you have a second one? Yeah, then I had Uncool and then I had That Guy from That Thing, which they ran about, I think they ran it like eight times. But then Netflix put it on at the early days of Netflix, and then it had like a resurgence.

Yeah. But it's not my finest hour. That guy's my thing. It's okay. You know what I mean? Are you getting another special together? Well, I could get one together. I'm not sure who wants one.

But I can certainly get one together. I have a pretty good fucking hour right now because I have material that I haven't burned in any way. And so I'm hopeful. I'll make something probably this year on my own and see if anybody wants it. But I just want to put something out there. There's ways.

I mean, YouTube's good enough. That's where everybody sees everything for the most part. I mean, the Netflix part is good and if somebody from Netflix wanted it but you come to a point in your career where you're a little bit

of a hard sell you know John Mulaney is far more intriguing than Greg Barrett who's been around the block for a while you know

even if my shit is good it's so weird because it's like now you're at a point where you are probably the best you've ever been and it's going to be

hilarious stand up but no let's go with somebody younger and a little more it happens man it's just well also you know it's they're looking at you like a stock and they're like well what can

you know what can John Mulaney can do a bunch of things we could develop a show with John Mulaney John Mulaney's young John Mulaney appeals to a lot of people you know and I'm using him specifically because I think he's great and but you know Greg Barron it's like wow he's fucking 10 years from now he's 62 so what do we do with him?

You know, it all depends. Unless you've just got numbers that are unbeatable. Unless people just go, well, fucking people love him. It doesn't matter. You know, he's still got huge numbers. And I don't. So it's that thing of, like, I'm kind of post being sick this summer. I'm kind of starting over, you know, and doing it. Are you okay with all this?

Or is it, like, is it bothering you? Yeah, I'm fine with it. It's you okay with all this or is it bothering you? Yeah, I'm fine with it. It's what it is. You know what I mean? It's show business. I picked this. It didn't pick, you know what I mean? It's a certain point you look at it and you see other people having gone through it and

you just go, this is where I'm at. I've been given more than most people have ever been given. Sure. I've had a better career than 90% of people. So I don't have a lot to complain about. But I do feel like I have, I do feel like my stand-up's good enough to be, you know, out there with other people. You know what I mean?

I'm not, I don't feel like I've lost the thread. Right. You know, I don't feel like I'm not, you know, relevant. I don't feel irrelevant, you know. Right, right. I, you know, I stay in the zones that I'm comfortable in talking about. So we'll see. You never know. Yeah, but coming back from being sick over the summer, like you said, having

stomach cancer, and now you're out in Baltimore doing stand-up in November, that's pretty quick, right? As far as recovery time? You definitely don't look like somebody who had cancer this summer. Well, that's really kind of you to say. Maybe like last summer, but no. Like last summer. I mean, you definitely look like you have cancer. It's just the...

No, I had... Yeah, you know, I was lucky to catch it, I guess, early, and it took only six rounds, and then I was just like I can't I could have laid around for the rest of the year but my doctor was like cancer loves sleepers really yeah cancer loves inactivity so fucking I worked when I was sick really I did two shows when I was sick at Largo in LA like I just was like you know you don't want to quit and so I said to my agents you know anything just get me.

Magoobies was the first thing. And they said, you're going to be at Magoobies and Timonium. And I'm like, I don't recognize either of those as work. I don't know what those are. My agent had a stroke. He's like,

yeah, that's exactly what it sounded like. I'd never, you know, and then I went on the website and I saw that they, the acts that they book here. Great. We're good. And you know,

like, Oh, I know everybody that, you know, know Todd glass I think was one of them and um and so I was like yeah shit that sounds fine I'm San Francisco next weekend I'm in North Carolina the weekend after that I'm in Kentucky weekend after that that's great man then I have Portland at the beginning of the year I'm doing st. Louis for New Year's like so I'm just like going at it yeah you know yeah you're all over the place.

Well, I dropped my prices, too. I'm a bargain, man. I'm a fucking bargain. I've got to start selling t-shirts now, because I need to pick it up on the other end. I haven't done merch in a long, long time. Do you have any wacky t-shirts for sale? My t-shirts are just my head. They're just a picture of my face.

There's no catchphrase. I don't sell a thing and then at the end. What happened was some guy drew a picture of my face and I just used it as my artwork and I put it on everything. During the summer when I was sick, the guy who does my merchandise, he's one of my good friends, made a t-shirt that um uh was my head and then it said the pompa hawk chop shop which is an imaginary barber shop that i own and uh and then he wrote fuck cancer in japanese underneath it and then he put some logos from my old podcast

and my band and then he just sold them as sort of a like help support greg this summer and they went nuts they sold really well so then we just decided to use that image and that's it i mean it's a bold move to say you like this guy enough you want to wear his face on your shirt and then have to explain to everybody who he is all the time but it's a weird enough image to go it doesn't really fucking matter he's just screaming it's just a guy screaming in sunglasses like it's retarded yeah um you know and we made stickers and patches and those sold out like immediately so people put the stickers on their cars and jackets yeah stickers and patches and those sold out like immediately. So people put the stickers on their cars and jackets. That's awesome, man.

Yeah, so I go in after edit in like a Shepard Fairey kind of way where you just repeat the image over and over and over again until people feel like they need it, you know. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, I worked with, I'm hosting at the Harrisburg Comedy Zone this weekend and the feature, the that he's selling there's two rows of words and there's dots on the side but if you connect the dots and fold the shirt over it says fuck you on it. So those are the shirts

that he's selling. Well, I mean Did you fold it in anything? Holy shit. Did they fuck you when you folded it? Holy shit. Mine don't. I wish they did.

Yeah. Lesson learned. You know, it's funny it's like I was talking to Jake Johansson who who, you know, has been around for a while. You guys know Jake? Yeah, he's hilarious. He's fucking amazing. And he's one of my favorite comedians ever.

And he was like, I started selling T-shirts, man. Like, it's, you know, it's tough out there. It's not, you know, you get older and it doesn't matter who you are. He's done 46 Lettermans, you know. He's still, you know, you're still competing with Kyle Kinane. You're still competing with Natasha Leggero. You're still competing with like, you know, there's lots of kids out there now. And so, and those guys will go in and burn a weekend way less than you cost.

And they'll sell out because they're relevant. So you kind of, you have to kind of figure out, okay, can I drop my price? You know what I mean? Like it's a real, it's a business. And then you've got to figure, you know, you're not the, you're not the new kid anymore,

so what else can you do to make it, you know, make it work? it's so funny, because like, from our perspective, like, you've totally made it.

Like, you're living the freaking dream, you know? Right. You've had a best-selling book, you've had Comedy Central specials, and it's like, is it, do you think it's something where it's like, no matter what level you get to a best-selling book, you've had Comedy Central specials, and it's like, do you think it's something where it's like no matter what level you get to,

there's always like, you know, frustration? There's always more mountain to climb. Yeah, I think there's that. There's, you know, everybody will have a moment and then everybody won't have a moment. Some people manage to stay in the, you know, there's always going to be the U2s and the Chris Rocks and the people that kind of hang in there. But everybody has a moment and then that moment goes

and, you know, people move on. Do you think there's something to be said for like kind of keeping like a solid eight instead of like a... In a way. A nice simmer? Yeah, yeah. A little bit.

You know, if you look at like, if you look at like, like if the Ramones were still alive, they'd be millionaires. You know, they just kept at like, if you look at like, like if the Ramones were still alive, they'd be millionaires. You know, they just kept it at about an eight. But they were consistent and you knew what they were and you knew what the brand was. And then eventually you craved it. They just eventually became a thing that like nobody else did what they did.

Yeah. And it wasn't a trend and it wasn't a fad. It was for real and they were for real. And eventually you come around. And I think eventually somebody goes, you know, I like that voice. I just want to hear that voice. I don't care what they're doing. You know what I mean?

Right, right. And so it is... Read the phone book. Yeah, right, right. Learning rock and roll radio on bass just by the way. Right now. It's great.

They're the fucking best, man. They were great. Easily the most complicated remote song. Easily. And if you look at like, if you look at Louie's career, you know,

there was a long period of time where he wasn't a famous comedian you know he's a writer and he did a lot of things and he just he stayed you know consistent and got better and better and better but it was a long he as opposed to dane right look at dane you know two different careers two guys that both have played madison square garden both Dane shot just so fast. Yeah. And then, and then was vilified

and people were jealous and he didn't, and it didn't, you know, he still was a young guy and it didn't allow for a lot of growth. Louie fucking trudged

every fucking inch of it. Now that doesn't mean either of them, I'm not comparing one to the other. It's just, and Dane will have a moment again.

It'll be fine. But it, and he's fine probably now. But, but, but it and Dane will have a moment again it'll be fine but it and he's fine probably now but but but it Dane was a quick

hit and a fad and a discovery and then people kind of were like okay but moved on because he didn't have

I don't think the chops that Louis has and the years earned and the you know Louis can turn out a new hour and turn out a new hour

and make a TV show like he really learned his craft and I think Dane was sort of a victim of like too quick too much

too fast too soon you know but how would you not take it at the same time yeah I mean it is

I always think though like you know also with bands that are one hit wonders it's like well at least you get to play clubs for the rest of your life

and make a living that way you know yeah I'd be fine withhit wonders, it's like, well, at least you get to play clubs for the rest of your life and make a living that way. I'd be fine with either one. Well, it depends, though, because once you've done something really well, you want to try and figure out how to do it again, and you can't understand why you haven't been able to recapture what you did when you're still you. It's like, yeah, it'd be great,

but why is Ben Stiller still making movies? I mean, he's done enough movies. Why wouldn't he just quit? But he just keeps making a Zoolander. He's doing a thing like people, you know, people keep at it, you know what I mean? They keep wanting to, you know, you never stop wanting to be relevant or create.

Yeah. You know, you're always looking to think of, what's that next thing I can think of, you know? Yeah, right. Now, with the podcast, is Walking the Room done? Yeah, it's pretty done.? Yeah, it's pretty done. I would say it's pretty done. Dave's writing on Marin and acting on Marin, and he's got the dollop, and I think he's pretty happy with that.

I don't know. It almost feels like, I mean, we're going to do a live one in San Francisco, so I think we'll probably do that every once in a while. Yeah. When we get asked, but I think, like, the last live one we did was really,

really fucking fun. It was great, yeah, I was surprised when it popped up in my feed because I subscribed and I was like, wait,

there's a new episode? Yeah. Because the episode before that was the final episode. Yes. Yeah, yeah, I like that idea

of it, like, sort of showing up and, and, and it was a fun, that was a great, that was a great night and it was of it like sort of showing up and yeah it was really cool and it was a fun that was a great

that was a great night and it was good and we sort of captured the thing that we do really well and yeah it was

one of the first appearances I made in person you know after being sick and it was good yeah

I enjoyed it but I don't know if we I'm afraid you know it's almost like it's perfect the way it is. So it's a weird thing to want to revisit it. On the other hand, I haven't wanted to, I haven't found anybody else that I want to podcast with. And I don't want to do it by myself.

I don't, you know, I've done like a, I started to do it and I'm like, I don't want to talk by myself. It's not, it's more interesting to. Yeah, I don't know how guys do that. Just talk for an hour to themselves. Yeah, I mean, Bill Burr. He does it great. Yep, and Marin can ramble. I mean, you know, at the beginning of his podcast, you know,

he can be pretty interesting and come out with full, complete sentences. I become very aware that I'm not talking to anybody. And then I'm like, I don't, hey, guys, and then I get panicked. Who are the guys? Who am I talking to? I'm crazy. I'm alone in a room. And I'm not really positive

why we're doing this. I mean, I wasn't always positive why we were doing it with Dave. He had to talk me into doing a podcast. But we just had a natural thing that was good and so it would be trying to figure out how I did something on that level.

Otherwise it wouldn't be worth anyone's time, and they'd just compare it and be disappointed. But a lot of people have asked me to do something, so I don't know. Yeah, I just assumed maybe it was coming back because the reason you guys stopped is you were going to be in New York for a while, right? It just kind of became...

Yeah, I'd been in Australia, then I went to New York, but when I was in Australia, he started the dollop. Then I went to New York, and we were going to revisit it and then it just was we lost the thread a little bit and then

it just didn't he got busy I think he was enjoying the dollop more and I think he was enjoying the dollop more. And I think he felt like part of the part of the rub of walking the room was that it was so based on misery that like investing in misery every week was not healthy for either. Really? Well, yeah. Literally, the podcast is called Walking the Room.

Yeah. And I think so. I feel like Dave was like, I don't want to talk about how shitty our lives are anymore. My life's not shitty. It kind of became a self-fulfilling prophecy for you guys, right? Yeah. 100%. 100%.

You don't want to talk every weekend like, this show sucked, everything sucks, but we're in a closet. Right. Right. And I think a lot of people related to that and liked it and felt like a kindred spirit with like, oh, good, I'm not the only one. And I think, you know, and then I got cancer. I mean, you know, we would have, those would have been some interesting shows.

But I think at a certain point... I love that the comedian's mind's like, oh, we missed the cancer. We should have cashed in on the cancer. The cancer chunk would have been really good, you know. But I think Dave likes what he's doing a lot. I think he likes the dollop. He may like the dollop more. And I think he enjoys doing it. And I think he likes the dollop. He may like the dollop more. And I think he enjoys doing it.

And I think that's where he wants to be. And he doesn't want to share his personal life anymore. And he doesn't want to invest in misery. And I think he just wants to do that thing. And he likes Gareth doing his thing. And I think that's, at a certain point, you just have to go, I respect that. That's fair. Yeah, you guys are still cool, but you're just kind of doing your own thing.

Yeah. Now and again, maybe do some live episodes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, the one in Australia was literally the night that I went to the hospital. Jeez. And then the next night, we did the... And then I went to the hospital, got diagnosed, got a box of Oxycontin, and then went back and did the super pod with the guys from Tofop, and then flew home and went right into.

So you got diagnosed, got some pills, and went and did a podcast? Yeah. Holy shit. Did you get to do it on that episode? Yeah. Yeah, it's the super pod with, I think Tofop put it out. Okay, yeah, I got to check that out. I think those guys put it out. But yeah, I talk about it on there because I was high as a kite.

And I was I yeah because what was I gonna do they said to me at the hospital they're like you got to go home and I was like back to my apartment and they're like no no you have to go to back home to America you have to immediately go home you have to get on a flight you have to fly home you have to drive him straight to emergency and then you got to check yourself in the hospital and get looked at now and I was and I was like okay and but I couldn't get a flight out till the next morning you know and so I went back to my place and I packed and you know I was

hot you know I was on Oxycontin and I felt fine I wasn't in pain anymore and I'm like well I'm not gonna sit in my room and feel sorry for myself there's something to do tonight you know and I and I you know and I can walk around and you know um and so I I i called those guys and said look i'm on for tonight you know let's do this and uh they were a little freaked out and uh uh and then we went and did the show and uh we talked about it a little bit and then i got on an airplane the next morning and uh and flew back and went and landed here in the states on easter and went right into the hospital and and they uh opened me up and fucking hey yeah bob's your uncle like it was yeah I was well you know I just I didn't want a little bit of a cough today I didn't have coffee we podcasted anyway no trust me I'm an American hero I'm just saying

yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean I uh uh it was a better way to spend the evening. It took my mind off of what could be happening. Be with your friends and kind of be present as well and not let your mind spiral out in your hotel. Right, that's totally how I am. If I get really depressed or something, and my family's like, you need to stay at home, relax,

take a day off or whatever, it's like I'm less depressed performing than I am relaxing yeah right the the the mistake is to like sit alone or relax like it's the better idea is to sort of you know kind of keep moving I let my depression like do that to me way too much in the past you know and like yes I'd much rather be on stage now or podcasting or whatever yeah just just keeping engaged or going to see somebody or do something. Yeah, even just hanging out. Like, sometimes it could be the worst thing. You're like, no, I just need to be alone.

And then when you're like, oh, I'm glad that I did this. You know what I mean? Yeah, totally. Yeah, it is. It's hard sometimes to get out of the house. But then once you're out, you feel better about it. And so, yeah, so then I just got on a plane and went home. So it was fine.

It was actually really, and the show was fun, really fun. God, man. But it was also weird. Like, the whole thing, like, I mean, to be fair, like, after we did the last, what was at that point the last walk in the room, I was sort of like, oh, my God, what have I done? In a weird way, you know, like, what am I, I have all these fans from this podcast and what am I done with them?

You know, what am I, you know, part of me is like, fuck, I need, you know, that following. You know, I want that following still. I still, because if it wasn't for the podcast, I don't know that I'd be back in comedy. You know, that really, yeah, because by the, because before the podcast, all of my shows were filled with women.

Right. You know, just women that liked the book. And people that knew me from like the talk show and stuff like that. Like it wasn't a comedy crowd. Comedy crowds had sort of abandoned me. Not personally, but they just were like, I think he does books and stuff. And I don't think people were aware. I mean, it wasn't until like I did the Pardo's podcast, Never Not Funny.

And all of a sudden, really, people were like, I didn't know you still did stand-up or that you even did stand-up. So I realized that the podcasting would be a great way to sort of put myself back out there in comedy. And then because Walking in the Room was so specifically comedy and so, I mean, when it wasn't tragedy, but it was so not self-help. Right, right. self-help. It was so ornate and bizarre and weird and fun and that people go, okay, so he's got all of this stuff going on and I can tell my story a little bit and then people start showing up.

If I'd have two or three people from the podcast in the crowd, it would change the whole vibe of the room because it was like, oh, I have a kindred spirit. We're in a club together. And they're already on board with you. Already on board. Wait,

who is this guy? And they're always sitting close and they have a t-shirt on and they're smiling and they're like, they're like, I don't, I don't give a fuck

what anybody thinks. I'm here for you, dude. And so, um, I miss that, having that, knowing that that could be there

because it, you know, at certain points people move on and they go to other podcasts and, you know, that kind of thing. So,

um, so that's the one drawback to not doing it, is feeling like there's a whole void in the comedy that I'm producing. So, yeah, that's where I'm at with that. Yeah, I was a big fan of the podcast. It's, I think, one of the few podcasts, maybe the only, to have its own glossary of terms. Yeah.

Which was great. Like Hobo Tang. Hobo Tang was a great... Hobo Tang came up a lot. Yeah. Hobo Tang. Yeah. Those are above ground bums.

It's like people who, like, Cody, you're... Above ground. Like a neighbor that takes an orange out of your tree. That's a Hobo Tang. Like, you're thieving. What are you doing? No, man. I'm just grabbing an orange, man. Don't worry about it. You know what I mean? tree that's a hobo tang like well yeah you're thieving what are you doing i'm just orange just grabbing an orange man don't worry about it you know what i mean and that's how it started was there was a neighbor that would they would they were dave's neighbors and they would go into another neighbor's tree and they would fucking just take their

oranges and go home it's like oranges are available at the store how the fuck are you that's just so bold it's like i'm gonna go ahead and borrow this you know what i mean it's just the dude that reaches over and eats off your plate well that's i's, I didn't, you didn't ask. You know what I mean? That's just, we call that hobo-tanging. Yeah. You know,

because it was half hobo and half orangutan climbing up in the tree. You have hobo-tang roommates. Yes. Where did my shampoo go? Yeah, right,

right, right, right. His ass hair is on my barstool. Yeah, right. No, that's hobo-tang for sure.

Yeah, you got to protect your shit. Who drank my tang? Right, yeah, yeah, for sure yeah you gotta protect your shit who drank my tang right yeah yeah Hobo Tang who drank my tang who's that bum

who's that fucking drifter in the living room like there's a there's a just catching a nap real quick I had a freaking

I came home dark to a dark house recently and a dog barking at me loudly in your house

in my house yeah that's that's frightening you don't own a dog Hobo Tang dog don't own a dog barking at me loudly in your house in my house yeah that's that's frightening hobo tank dog going on a dog wow how did that did someone just bring one home it was a roommate allowing a friend to stay there with her dog oh yeah yeah without letting you know like by the way when you come home there'll be a beast in the house. I knew a friend was staying there, didn't know a dog would be barking at me in attack mode as I entered my house.

Yeah, that's scary as shit. Actually, it wasn't even when I entered. I had already entered, went up to my room, came back downstairs

to like, get something out of the fridge or something and it's all scared after me. Yeah, that's, yeah,

that's, you already feel safe. You're like, let's grab a bite. Oh my God. Yeah, that's, that's pretty, that's pretty, that's bold, that's a bold move. Yeah, that's... Because you already feel safe. You're like, let's grab a bite. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's pretty... That's a bold move.

Yeah, certainly. But the thing is, my roommate's a sweetheart, and I think he just really wanted to help his friend out. Sure. Let her take her animals with her. I don't know. Still, yeah. Heads up would have been nice.

Heads up would have been nice. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's a yeah yeah so that was like there was all those different words and all those little characters

we made up we stole a lot of t-shirts we did a lot of money we made a lot of money in merch like you know we did I mean

I think the cool thing about it was it while it was happening you know we did some really great shit you know we had these big

events in New York the Starfish Circuses and and we, you know, got to go to Australia twice, and, you know, we did some really great shit. So, I mean, it got as much as it could get out of podcasting without it becoming Marin, say, or Nerdist. But we also weren't guest heavy. No. You know, we only had a guest.

It was about your guys' relationship, and even the guests were, they knew about that as well. You know what I mean? Like, it was almost welcoming them into the fold of you guys. That's right. It's like you bending to them. Right. They were your friends to begin with.

Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Patton was obsessed with the podcast when it started. So he really helped us out by it. If he mentions it, 800 people join your site. And then 400 leave immediately. He'll stop by for a second. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not at all what I thought. I enjoyed it. But then some people were like,

Patton, you're wrong about this one. There were people that were like, this is, I don't know what you see in this. But Patton did it in a great way because he anti-sold it. If you want to listen to the world's shittiest podcast, you know, he always, he don't, he's always go at it backwards. Um, which I, which was charming, you know, which is like a,

a cool way to do it. Yeah. Um, yeah, he was a great help. He was a great help. He was a great help to us too. Yeah.

Um, although the picture that he exposed of me to more people than ever before is easily the worst picture of me ever taken. Yeah. We got to do a podcast with him, uh, when he came to Baltimore for Veep. We did it at a coffee shop and we just took a picture

while we were doing it and Mike was like, faux, like, because we were acting like we were being candid, like, oh,

we don't even know a picture's being taken but Mike, like, leaned over and kind of had a double chin in the picture.

It was just horrible angle. And I didn't notice so I tweeted out, I was like, hey, we did it. And then Patton retweets it to his, like, a billion followers. Over a million people.

Yeah. It's the worst hateful I've ever taken. It was so bad. Yeah. I think that's cool that Patton did your podcast because, I mean, I try and do them when I can. Yeah. I'm pretty, like, open to it, especially if it's, like, young comics that are, like, doing it. We really appreciate it. Yeah, thank you. Well, no, just because it's, like young comics that are like right yeah we really appreciate it

yeah thank you well no no just because it's like it's hey I like being a guest on podcasts that's I wish that was just a career

because I like guesting I like being asked questions it's just easy it's just it's a lot easier for me to do one of the things I found out in my career was like hang on

phone call oh sorry I'm gonna call my wife my wife I love you no I my wife I love you I love her who wouldn't have been

to my hang on I'm going to talk to my wife wait it's Pat hello oh it's

Pat it's where was I you want to be a professional podcast guest oh yeah one of the things I realized about my career,

like, the thing that happened with me, and, you know, you don't notice it until later, but, like, the reason I had such a big chunk of fame was not just the book, but my first Oprah appearance was massive. It was the week after she had given away cars, and so the viewership was fucking just on point. And it was like a Wednesday.

And all I had to do was answer questions. Like, it was different than having your own talk show. So, like, Oprah would just set it up. I mean, she's a fucking phenomenal host. I think people forget, like, they see her as something other than, than like a TV personality, which is what she is. She's just like, she's no different than us, really. She's just a fucking,

she's a, A lady? She's in show business, but she's a lady. But she's like me, but she, she's just in show business and she knows good television.

And they were like, if you tell all these women that they're fucked, it's going to be great TV. And so, basically, that was basically it. That was basically,

that's not the way she presented it, but it was that. So then a girl would stand up and I'd shoot her down and a girl would stand up and I'd shoot her down and a girl, in a kind way,

like, you know, you're better than getting back together with the guy who left you at the altar. That just seems like a bad choice for a revisit, you know,

and then people, the girls would laugh and it would all be great and Oprah would just set it up and I was a great guest and then you get your own talk show and then you realize you're Oprah and what work that is

and then you have to make everything. It's like, oh no, I just like being asked questions. The reason I like doing it with Dave is I didn't have to think of the content. Dave came with the content. Dave came with the attitude. Dave would kind of keep the thing going

and I could go wherever I wanted to. And that is so much more fun than having to drive the thing like Marin does. I don't have that capacity nor do I have the interest in other people to ask them questions. You're like, when do I get to talk about me? Right. I mean, if it's Jack White, I'm having him on every day. But other than that, I can't fake an interest I don't really have or ask questions I don't know or create – like I'm fascinated when I listen

to Marin, how much he knows just about the world at large. His ability to be able to talk to a guest and be slightly well versed on everything from guitar pedals to religion. Like he really does have a huge basket of information in his head and it makes him fascinating and he can get now with anybody, even if he doesn't know the person. And that's a gift. That's his gift. I think even more than,

his stand up is great but I think his gift is fuck the guy can talk to anybody and then he makes it personal like Letterman did. Letterman was always personal. It was always about

him trying to suss out the guest as opposed to Jay who was a kind, kind person but just not there. Just on the cards. With a handful of friends,

he'd be like more candid, but with you, he was like just by the book because I haven't been a guest on all those shows. You know, you watch, you know,

Conan's present with you, but, but, but, but Jay was just like, he wouldn't, if you changed it, he would ask the question

even if you'd already, like he's not listening, so if you'd already answered the question in the first question, because you over explained it. Yeah, he mentioned the already like he's not listening so if you'd already answered the question in the first question right because you over explained yeah you mentioned the book

he's like so tell me about the book yeah right okay I'll tell you again what do you think you made me you know but a nice person

he just likes stand up a lot that's all he would ever want to talk as soon as the fucking mics were off he'd go are you going out you doing stand up

how much are you doing stand up I'm going to stand up he goes I'm going to Vegas this weekend like that's what I want to talk about yeah that's what he seems

to be interested in the most. Because I've heard him on a few podcasts. He was doing it before there were comedy clubs. He was talking about working at strip clubs and being in the community and stuff like that. Being homeless and sleeping at the improv, I think, and stuff like that. It's crazy. You just wouldn't think of Jay Leno doing

that because you think of the suit and tie. Tell me about Transformers. You know what I mean? Like a comedian. That was the thing I think everybody in the comedy community And you just wouldn't think of Jay Leno doing that because you think of the suit and tie like, oh, so tell me about Transformers. You know what I mean? But he's like a comedian. Well, that was the thing I think everybody in the comedy community was sort of baffled by was that he just became such a talk show host and not the guy that was guest on Letterman in his leather jacket being kind of sardonic and funny. Yeah, and a little bit of a dick too yeah yeah and and so it was just i think he never allowed that to happen and maybe they and maybe the numbers were so good and he was crushing dave

and he didn't want to fuck with the formula which was just that people liked him but i think at the end of the day and you don't need to please the back of the room by the way it's not for us to enjoy jay leno it's for it's that's not his job to make sure that the comics. It's not for us to enjoy Jay Leno. That's not his job to make sure that the comics think he's cool. But at the same time, you watch Colbert go out there

and do what he's trying to do right now. Fallon's 100% himself, which is just a guy that likes party games. Literally, it's like going to his house for game night.

That's what that whole fucking show is, is game night. It's an adult game night. Yeah, it's playing Connect 4 with Tom Cruise. And you're like,

okay, that's your lane. That's it. That night yeah it's playing connect four with tom cruise and you're like right okay yeah that's your lane that's it that's what it is completely um but being a guest is a fun that's it that's a fun thing it's it's a skill too but i did so many interviews when the book came out it's so many interviews thousands i've done more radio interviews than most people like we did thousands and thousands of interviews and then our next book came out and there were lots and lots of interviews and so I got really good at being that guy being a guest I always wonder what the host is saying

to the guest when they go to commercial we'll be right back what are they saying sometimes not like I said Jay would immediately ask you about stand up one of my favorite times I was on there was for the book, and I think I'd just done a special. I think it was sort of both things. And then Scarlett Johansson was the guest, the lead guest, but I was just doing panel.

And Toby Keith was the music act and Scarlett Johansson and this is before she was in he's just not that India this is before the movie and so she was sitting there and she talked to me during the break she was like yeah she talked me during the break Jay was like you know yeah something then she tapped me on the leg and it was just chatty and was like it's a you asked me about my kids and then I said oh they're here that actually they're in the back oh that's cool now my two daughters and she goes oh I'd like to meet them and I was like oh okay you know whatever and then she was so fucking nice and then we go over to watch Toby Keith and and Jay

you know go over there that's like my Cosby imitation put the shoes on the train that's my holocosby that's my holocosby it's Bill Cosby explaining the holocosby that's all it is with the gerbils

and the Hitler and the pudding it's a terrible thing but it's a great t-shirt. Holocaustby. You just put Cosby on there. Hitler mustache. Good metal band name, too. Holocaustby is a good metal band name. By the way, if you're listening to this and you want to name your band

Holocaustby, I'm flattered. Go ahead and do it. Just make sure you send me your music. And I'll okay it. So we walk over to see Toby Keith and and we're sitting there and it's

I don't know this was still pretty close to 9-11 so it was some America thing we're still putting the boot up their ass yeah right

yeah and and Scarlett Johansson taps me and leans into my ear and goes I hate this shit

and I was like that is so bold and so real. And she was so cool and like, just a person. And then she came to the dressing room to meet the girls. Like, it was like, wow. And then she was like, I hate this shit. I gotta ask you, you know, these, yeah, your kids are, I hate this shit.

So you misrecept your kids, not you. I hate this shit. Me, me, me. See you later I'm gonna end up being in his movie but I don't fucking care and she was

and she was and then she remembered me during the movie and I don't know just some of the people you're surprised at how most people are pretty cool but then there's the ones

that are like oh you're like a bro right you know what I mean like literally like a bro like she was like just like I'm not I'm comfortable talking to you.

Yeah. Yeah. I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, we're in the same game. I'm not different than you. It's awesome. You know what I mean? Even though she's fucking, she pays off in person. She's as pretty as you think she's supposed to be.

She smells really good. Yeah. I mean, that's a little creepy, but Oprah smells great too. I didn't smell no different than you. No different. I imagine Oprah smelled good. Oprah smelled great. You dropped some great sentences this podcast, by the way. Oh. You said the first time I imagine Oprah smells good Oprah smells great you dropped some great sentences

this podcast by the way you said the first time I did Oprah wow that's impressive Scarlett Johansson yeah

your career is pretty good man I mean I will say I will say this when I got diagnosed and I've talked about this when I got diagnosed in Australia

you know I was in when I went to the hospital I was in the most pain I've ever been in in my life it had gone from just a stomach ache to like oh my god this is I don't, I was in, when I went to the hospital, I was in the most pain I've ever been in in my life. Yeah. It had gone from just a stomach ache to like, oh my God, this is, like I called the head of the festival and said,

I think I need to go to the ER. And they said, you want to make sure you don't want a doctor to come to the place. And I said, well, one came this afternoon and gave me a Valium. So I think we're not, it's not working. Right. Well, I don't know why he thought I was anxious. I'm like, I'm not anxious. I mean, the show that I was doing was.

Wait, he thought your stomach pain was anxiety? He goes, I don't know what's wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with your... Yeah, I got the same diagnosis as I got from my doctor. There's nothing wrong with your blood. There's nothing wrong with your... You know what I mean? Like, my vitals were all good.

My organs all checked out. I didn't have white blood cells. You know, my blood cell count was fine. You smelled like Oprah. I smelled like Oprah. So, when I went to the hospital to get diagnosed um and they put me on morphine and then they put me on more morphine and they put me on delaudid and then finally that that eased the pain that's how bad it was and then they gave me a cat scan

and then i took a heroin nap for about four hours and the best sleep i've ever had in my life and i woke up and then the guy said well we've we've, you know, here's the deal. So we found a cluster of tumors in your abdomen. Right. And I, I can't get over cluster. Cluster.

Yeah. Cluster. But it's Australian so it doesn't sound as bad. It's a cluster. It's a cluster. It's a cluster. Mate.

Ken's out. It all goes up at the end. You're probably wobbles. Yeah. It sounds much better. I highly recommend. Weren't we just making stomach ache Australian jokes

the other night with Tommy? Probably sorry yeah well they so they so anyway and the guy was like you know now I'm older than everybody and so he's like young and handsome and he was like really nice busy you know it's a class that two months but my first response to him and I probably was so high was but I was like well I've had a good life. And he's like, well, we're not picking out headstones, mate. Like, it's not over. We just don't know what it is, and you've got to go get it checked out.

But my dad's a rat. Thank you. A hundred percent. But that surprised me in that, like, that was genuine. Like, after the drugs wore off, I still felt the same way. I'm like, look, I'm 52 and I don't want to go. I want my, I love my daughters and I love my wife and I, and I want to be here for all of this.

On the other hand, I don't feel like I fucked this up. I didn't miss anything. I guess that's a good test of like how well you're doing. I didn't, yeah, I haven't done any, like, like I was famous enough. I got to, I got to be, um, uh, you know know I did Oprah four times and I and I I played ghost town with with Nora Jones in New York like I mean I did some cool shit like yeah I mean there's tons of it that's just a career stuff you know I married a fucking a fantastic human being that my best friend and the

best person I've ever met and my kids couldn't be nicer they couldn't be better people and so like I didn't feel like oh I fucking missed it you know I played I got to play music I got to do I got to meet great people

I've done so many things and so I didn't feel like I'd wasted it you know I made some mistakes Dave Anthony being one of them

but but I but I I your cancer's are shaped like Dave Anthony I have good right there just little heads little Dave Anthony heads I'm I I your cancers are shaped like Dave Anthony I have good

right there just little heads little Dave Anthony heads I'm sure I got it I'm sure I got the cancer from walking in the room there's no way I didn't I still

I felt like I made the most out of what I got and 52 years is still a lot of time I know a lot of people go he's so young it's like

if you live 52 years you've seen a lot of shit you I know a lot of people go, he's so young. It's like, if you live 52 years, you've seen a lot of shit. You're doing better than colonial people. Holy fuck, yes. And I was warmer most of the time. I mean, and I got to see most of the world, and I got to meet a lot of great people. Like, I mean, I've done some amazing shit. So I felt like it was, you know, going past it, having survived it, my goal is then to just, like, use this time as much to, like, employ people to, like, do not fucking, like, it's later than you think. It's that old special song.

I think it's actually an old English drinking song. But it's just, like, enjoy yourself. It's later than you think. It's like, I don't care that last night's show the second show and my goobies was shit it i don't care it's part of the process of building up a new set and enjoying myself i don't care i don't care people think about me i don't care where i'm at i you know that my only goal is to take care of my family and make money but the rest of it is like it just doesn't matter it's so it's not what you think about at the end yeah you're not like oh my god was i did i make enough money was i famous enough you're more like man i had a

good time yeah you know i met great people i you know what i mean i i don't i don't uh i didn't have any like you know and who knows if if the cancer comes back or not it's not supposed to it's supposed to be a fairly treatable one and one that can be kept an eye on and that kind of thing so you know but i do i am grateful for all of the time past it you know like every day that i get to have now post yeah that's amazing man i mean you've yeah you've had great experiences you have great friends in comedy that was the cool part about listening to the podcast too it's like oh this is kind of what i would love to do like telling stories with doug benson about what did you guys do?

You guys were working at an improv, and then at the hotel afterwards, you, like... I invited everybody from the staff back to the hotel, and I had sex with one of the waitresses. Who also stole liquor or something? And then the rest of the guys went downstairs, broke into the bar, stole liquor, and went into the pool. Man.

And I just told this story yesterday. They're doing a history of Bud Friedman, of the improvs. They're writing a book about him. Oh, yeah. And so I told this story yesterday. They're doing a history of Bud Friedman of the improvs. They're writing a book about him. Oh, yeah. And so I told this story yesterday when I was talking to the guy. And then I was fired from the entire chain. Jesus.

Yeah. And then I got sober and I apologized to the manager of the club. Right. Who ran about four of the clubs. And then they sent me out to Vegas the next week. Wow. You know, so, I mean, it's all those little life lessons. But, you know know we had a great

weekend don't get me wrong i don't regret it at all i really don't like i don't really like that was a lot of fun yeah i mean getting fired from the improvs was a bummer and part of a process of getting sober but right at the same time um holy shit what a fucking weekend and you know the week before we were it was me janine and brian regan and i was like i mean you know what's good what's better than a fucking weekend with Brian Regan? Yeah.

Like, and he was phenomenal. I mean, he's still phenomenal, but he was so phenomenal. Right. Then, and Janine

got heckled and laid out on the stage and did her act on her back. you know, there was like, that crew of people that I came up with

and Mr. Show and all of that, like, I got to be a part of a movement. I was part of a thing, you know? Yeah.

I might not be the marquee person from there, but I mean, I was a part of that whole thing where I got to be a part of a movement i was part of a thing you know yeah uh i not be might not be the marquee person from there but i mean i was a part of that whole thing where i got to be there while it was happening and those are all my friends those are my peers yeah that's a cool thing too which is amazing like it'd be like our core of people in baltimore and dc being super famous and known for a scene like those were just your friends that was just a thing that happened it just like yeah we all kind of came together over the fact that none of us could get work and and known for a scene. Like, those were just your friends. That was just a thing that happened. It just, like, yeah, we all kind of came together over the fact that none of us could get work.

And we started making up our own shows and bookstores and, you know, Mexican restaurants and laundromats and, you know, and then we were fucking anti-club. You know, that was the one thing. The guy said, well, what was... I go, you know, at that point,

the improv was, like, seen as, like, kind of a shitty thing. You know, I don't know if you remember, but, like, people go, oh, he's a fucking brick wall comedian like we were such assholes we were such assholes we were so self-righteous and so like david cross and i were talking once and he said yeah fuck if you had a callback we thought you were a hack you know my whole fucking yeah yeah you're trying fuck you and my whole act now is callbacks and fucking running around the stage

and yelling like it's you know it know you got a t-shirt cannon I got a t-shirt oh I wish I had a t-shirt cannon they do seem like fun they do seem like fun like you mock the t-shirt cannon until you start firing it

at people and then you go this feels pretty good you know the power of the cannon yeah so it's like you know what I've gotten

to experience as a comedian has been great. And I was one of the first specials on Comedy Central. And, you know, like in the early days, I was one of the first. You know, you don't realize that until later on. You go, fuck, I was in that first couple rounds of the half hours. Yeah.

You know, and then. That's amazing. Yeah. So it's like, you know. And then I, you know, and then. But even still, like I just got, you know, just right out of the very first show that I did you know and then but even still like I just got you know just right out of the very first show that I did

post cancer that wasn't a podcast was Jack Platt's Festival Supreme and I you know with my show that I do

called Bring the Rock with Bill Burr and Tig Notaro and me and Veruca Salt was the band and like you know

like it's still it's still paying off I'm still having you know things that I got I can't believe this happening I mean my shit my set was for shit but it was I was nervous you know it's very first one I mean it was fine but it you know but it was more about the experience of doing it yeah I mean being with your friends and be able to do that and we take a step back like oh holy shit this is insane yeah and the Jack Black like

like was you know I think part of the reason was he wanted to um make sure that I was still like I think he was like oh he's been sick let's put him on let's give him a show let's give him you know what I mean like yeah it was very very sweet because I've known you know Jack was a part of our yeah crew as well and my daughter and I was with my daughters I brought them and my wife, and True's favorite movie is Nacho Libre. Oh, wow. Yeah, we've watched it

a thousand times, and so we ran into Jack in the hallway. I didn't tell the girls that we were friends because I just didn't want to, I didn't want to like, what if he didn't,

what if I saw him, because I didn't, you know, I hadn't seen him in a while. And he runs down, he runs, him in a while and he runs down he runs yeah right so he runs down the hall

and he gives me a huge hug and he asks me how I am and blah blah blah and I introduce the girls to him and I say this is Jack Black and I said

you know True's favorite movie is and I pause for a minute and I was like and I go and then my wife goes Nacho Libre and he goes

that is not what I thought you were going to say. And he goes, that is not everyone's favorite movie. That's my favorite movie. Oh, wow. And then he started singing the songs, one of the songs from the movie. And he started doing lines from the movie at my daughter's. And their fucking mouths were just like, it was such a nice moment.

I was like, it made the whole day. I didn't give a shit what happened after that. I literally could have gone on stage and been hit with pennies. I would have been fine with that. It happened when we opened for Tool. That was free pennies. Yeah. One time we opened for Tool.

For Tool? Yeah, David Cross and I opened for Tool. We did a sketch. We did a sketch opening for Tool, and they threw, the second we started talking, people threw quarters and pennies and beer cups, like just shit at us. Yeah, they hated us. Doing stand-up enough would be terrible, but a sketch? Yeah, a sketch was like, we were sportscasters and we were announcing the beginning of the

Tool game. Okay. It was just ridiculous. It was almost like a Mr. Show sketch. Maynard was a massive comedy fan. Really? He just mentioned me in an interview, which is so weird. He mentioned a joke of mine, like recently.

Yeah, they're going on a tour again. Yeah. That's awesome, man. With Primus. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think the joke was was and I said it once I don't think I ever

said it again I go apparently unplugged means you sit down when we're talking about the unplugged show right

yeah I go the only difference is you sit I don't know they're plugged in yeah the man who sold the world

that was so incredibly electric it was like yeah yeah but I also think bands were like look four or five songs

acoustic are just going to suck sorry that's just going to sound after a while you're going to go oh yawner

like that's that's why we're an electric band you know what I mean that's why we play I mean especially Nirvana like there was

so and that is one of the best unplugs ever yeah my wife was there my wife was at the unplugged

for Nirvana really she was in the record industry wow cool yeah so wife was there. My wife was at the Unplugged for Nirvana. Really? She was in the record industry. Wow, cool. Yeah, so she was there. Did you see her in videos and stuff? No, because she was sort of in the backstage-ish. She was sort of there.

Yeah. But anyway, yeah, so she was at that, and she said it was as good, if not better than, you know what I mean? Right. She was that night, you knew, like, oh my God, this one's... Like, you could feel the energy. This is definitely going to be better than Kisses.

You could tell it was going to be better than Kisses can tell it was gonna be better than Peter come on I said it brought back Ace and Peter fair enough that is fair enough yeah well they know how to market themselves yeah yeah it wasn't out of love they didn't bring back Ace and Peter they liked them they brought back Ace and Peter because they were like you know what we're not relevant right now I doubt our Carnival of Souls grunge-inspired album is going to sell very well. Let's bring back Ace and Peter. Absolutely. Actually, fun fact,

Kiss was working on a grunge album right before they did a reunion. Wow. And if you hear it, it is ridiculous. Oh, you've heard it? Yeah, yeah. There's one track on it

that's actually kind of a kick-ass rocker, and then the rest is just so incredibly laughable. Ugh. I mean, it was that mid-90s era when every hair band had to like either become an electro metal band or go grunge in some way yeah everybody yeah everybody like had to like uh fuck we're going this way now yeah let's just

fucking do it let's do maryland man let's just do everything in drop D let's just fucking let's just turn it down a little bit like yeah no that was that was a good one too guys yeah you guys we're depressed right

come on CC are we depressed you bet Brad the most depressed boys are very depressed we've been super depressed for a long time my name's CC DeVille

I've never done coke in my life I've done a little bit of coke but just a tiny bit. But you know, that thing is, you know. Is that Bobby Slayton?

I got it. That's Bobby Slayton, too. It's Slayton, yeah. That's exactly right. That's Slayton and CC. I'd love to see them talk to each other.

CC, you're hilarious. I mean, you're sort of a faggot, but you're all right. Slayton. DD chimes in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a big

heroin gravelly throat and also there's like that Long Island like whatever that New York thing that sort of

fucking but I interviewed CeCe once and he was fucking really yes he was hilarious

let me ask you this have you ever heard Dee Dee's rap album yes it's so good Dee Dee is so bad and so good

yeah yeah yeah I'm actually we're doing a Ramones tribute on New Year's Eve and I really want to do the rap song in it I think you should oh I

right when the ball drops just kick right into it yeah that's a great idea that's a great idea yeah Dee Dee was I saw the Ramones a lot I saw the Ramones a lot I got to see them once

when I was 14 on one of their last tours the Lollapalooza tour CeCe was there with them right who was the bass player was that well CeCe is the guitarist I got to see him once when I was 14 on one of their last tours, the Lollapalooza tour. CeCe was there with them, right? Who was the bass player? Well, CeCe is the guitarist for Poison, so no, he was not there. No, no, no. What was it?

Dee Dee was not there either. But what was it? Oh, CJ. CJ was. CJ. That was it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, did you want to start in music?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's what I wanted to do. And then comedy was just like... Well, I sort of drifted into comedy. I mean, I was always... I think... I was always funny,

but so was everyone around me. Like, all my friends are... I have two friends that are not comics that would crush if that's a thing we were to do. Yeah, I think we all know. Yeah.

Why don't you do stand-up? Because I'm not interested at all. It doesn't seem not appealing at all to me. But they're hilarious. So all my friends are funny. My father and mother were both funny.

My sister's hilarious. So, like, I i didn't feel like my grandma was fucking a riot like i just never felt any i felt like i just had game like everybody else in the in my crew and all my friends we all were inspired by comedy and being funny with each other but i love music because i thought music was sexier and cooler and you know like when i was a kid it was like comedy was not a thing when I was a kid. Comedy was innate. Like, of course we can all be funny, but music, that's fucking awesome. Yeah, right.

Like, I was just so much more into Steven Tyler than Steve Martin. But I still liked Steve. You listen to Steve Martin albums obsessively. I was just a fan. I wasn't, it was never a desire. I loved Steve Martin. I loved Robin Williams. I loved all the comics that were around. I loved Steve Martin. I loved Robin Williams. I loved all the comics that were around.

I loved Pryor. I liked it. But it was in the background compared to music, music, music, music, music, always music. That's kind of how I was, too. I always wanted to be a rock star growing up. Oh, yeah. And like comedians, kind of like my way of being not a rock star, but a wannabe rock star. Yeah, just drifting.

Just being a local performer, you know. Yeah, well, I drifted into it. And then I got into theater in college. But it was all classical theater, so it was all Shakespeare and Sheridan and all that kind of stuff. But I was like the funniest guy in the thing. And then I got out of school, and I wasn't doing anything. And my mom, I was trying to find work as an actor and have a band and my my mom said you know there's this improv group that's auditioning so my mom was always pushing me in that direction and i got

in this improv group and margaret cho was in it and she was like you should do stand-up that's like the exact opposite of everybody else's mom yes well my mom was like he's got zero other skills like he's not an athlete in any way, shape, or form. His band is awful. And he's hilarious. He's always been funny. And I think, you know, give it a shot. And as soon as I became a comic, I mean, my parents were happy when I changed to a theater major

because they thought I could graduate. And then as soon as I did comedy, they loved it. They loved comedy. My parents grew up on comedy. Wow, that's awesome. They didn't care about music. My dad was in television. They listened to comedy. They loved it. They loved comedy. My parents grew up on comedy. Wow, that's awesome. They didn't care about music. My dad was in television. They listened to it. They liked it.

But that was their... They went to see Phyllis Diller and Cosby and Newhart and Mort Sahl and all of those people at the Hungry Eye in San Francisco and at the Purple Onion. That was their thing, nightclubs and comedy. They loved it. They had the records. They were like, yeah, you should do it. So I did. San Francisco and at the Purple Onion like that was their thing nightclubs and comedy yeah they loved it and they had the records and so they were like yeah you should do it and so I did

wow after Margaret Cho said you should do it nice that's awesome yeah that's probably the first mom to ever be like well Greg's in an improv group now so I know that's so people were like so concerned and for years people would be like how's he doing it's like well you know like because you don't unless you're on letterman or on a magazine yeah carson was the thing like they just don't they don't get you know because it's such a it was such a subterranean um art form yeah it's still subterranean i mean for the most part i mean there now it is like with schumer and and it like it's become more of a thing and bill burr and all that kind of stuff and Louis. But for a long time it was really like subterranean. People go to shows still and go, I don't remember who I saw.

Yeah. Well, yeah, there's the thing. People go to comedy shows just because it's comedy. But you would never go to like a place advertised as like, we have music tonight. Like, oh, I like music. Let's see music. There's different genres of music. There's different types of of comedians but to them it's just like yeah everybody does stand-up stand-up right they don't realize you're gonna put an album and that you have an

album to listen to or yeah like they just don't see it and they don't compartmentalize in the same way as you do music and so yeah um uh um it was just a you know so it's just always been a different art form yeah um and uh and so people don't always invest in it as much as they would a band. You know what I mean? Because a band is almost a lifestyle a lot of times. You know what I mean? When you really invest in a band, you're like, well, this comes with a lifestyle. Whereas Louis C.K. doesn't come with a lifestyle or not one you want.

Most comedians are like, I like you, but I don't want to be you. It seems like a lot of effort. I don't want to be Gilbert Gottfried. That's just too much work so what how's the the book industry changed for you like since you know kind of the everything's gone well we did our last book we we're our second book did maybe a half a million copies as opposed to four million. So it was seen as a, as not being not as good, but a half a million books is a shit ton of books. That's a fucking lot of books.

And it still sells. They both, they're still being printed. But we got dropped on our third book. It was exactly like a band. Really? We got dropped during the making of our third book. So we put it out on our own last year

or two years ago digitally and it did great. And that's when we got asked to do a life class on Oprah. And now we're doing

this whole compendium thing called How to Keep Your Marriage from Sucking which is just about how hard and difficult marriage is. And is this you

and your wife in the books? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's all digital and it comes out in chapters and you can buy one chapter and not buy the whole thing because they're like little books.

Oh, that's cool. So like the engagement, the wedding. Yeah, like the whole thing. Yeah, just like wherever you are in life, you can pick out one of those books or you can buy the whole thing if you want,

if you'll enjoy it. And it's a new way of doing it and I don't know if it's going to work or not, but that's what we're working on right now. But it's a shit ton of writing it and I don't know if it's going to work or not, but that's what we're, that's what we're working on right now. But it's a shit ton of writing because then each one of those chapters has to be at least, uh, 200,000 words or whatever it is, you know? So it's a lot of, it's a lot of work. Damn. Now what's that like working with your wife? Is that, does that,

it's weird to write, to have a book about how to make your marriage not suck and then fight with your wife about a book. Yeah. We know, I know i think i think we because we've been through this shit together you know and then um we've had some i mean you know we're really candid in the book about the struggles that we've had and and uh you know addiction and depression and all that stuff that you fucking attach yourself to. Yeah. And, or me. And, and then, She has her stuff. She has her stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, we get along great now. Like, we actually, like, we both are fans of each other's writing

and, and, and so it, but there was a time where it was very difficult to write together. Wow. And,

and like my writing part, I have a writing partner for TV and film and it's not my wife. And it's a girl that's younger than me who works at Conan because without her, I have lost relevance. You know what I mean? And it's also good to write with somebody who's young and single and not in the same world that you're in. You know what I mean? But Amir and I have our thing and we're good at it and we like it. you know we have a really good editor who's been really hard on us because you know again we're older so he's like you know you need to cover this this and this and and

he lives in Brooklyn and and he's a pain in the ass but you know it's it's good you know yeah so we'll see we'll see I I've become more accepting of that of giving advice I'm good at it I just i don't know why you know yeah i'm not good at living it but i'm good at giving it you know i think probably because i've been through a lot of shit and i'm really okay with sharing it and saying you know look i fucking did this don't waste your time how long you've been sober uh well the second time since february of uh february 25th of uh what was it, two years ago, three years ago.

Okay, so the Oxycontin didn't like, fuck with your. No, it did. It did. I originally did 96.

Oh, okay. So originally 96. Oh, no, the Oxycontin, no, no,

no, no, no, I took the dog's pills. The Oxycontin, no, because I took it under prescription.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I'm just saying that didn't,

that didn't like, trigger anything. Oh, no, it triggered everything, but I was able to, like, yeah. Yeah. You're like, oh, this is not a bad way to live. Oh, my God.

But, you know, I don't want to, you know, I know ultimately where it leads. Yeah. And coming off. I cannot think of the next day. And coming off of that stuff is incredibly difficult. It's really, like, it's hard. Yeah. You get sick.

It's like heroin. It's wrong. Yeah, right. It you know you get sick it's like heroin throwing yeah right it's like you get sick and I mean they ease you off but even then it's still

hard yeah but man that is when you're on there whoo you are interested in others

interested in others yeah yeah it makes you interested in other people are you just like loose and like what's up yeah you are

you're like man tell me about your shirt I tried it a few times back in the day oh really yeah

cause Mike's sober as well I would take anything you handed me yeah we were talking about that

guys that are like yeah I was into pills I'm like what does that mean there's all kinds of pills yeah it's

well it's a different thing you know what happened was I went when I lost my sobriety was I was

super depressed on Christmas Eve and rather than reaching out to my sponsor who I lost my sobriety was I was super depressed on Christmas Eve and rather than reaching out to my sponsor who I lost contact with and rather rather than seeking professional help I was in the moment and I felt very very depressed suicidally depressed and the dog was on hydrocodone for its hips and I just took one of those and it fucking even me out and then I'm like well I'm

never gonna do that again you know whatever but I. But I didn't, I didn't, I didn't tell anybody and I didn't, I stopped going to meetings immediately because I felt dirty and then I, then, then I used one again

and then, you know, I went down that fucking path and ended up, you know, really fucking up my life for a while. It escalated quickly.

And that was after how long? Sober. So 90, so that was probably 13 years sober. Wow. And then I was out. That's almost where run on that. Yeah, and then I was out for a while and then

after my life crashed and I went back to rehab and got like that. But pills are a different they're not different. It's still sobriety. It's still the same game that you're playing with yourself, but they feel I still never drank. I still never had a drink drink since 96. I didn't want to drink I wasn't partying the difference

was I was trying to cope and I was trying to check out from my feelings which were so overwhelmingly bad that I didn't know what to do I yes here's what I would say you get to a doctor get to a psychiatrist get to a therapist and see if there's maybe some meds that are, like I take, now I just take meds, now I just take, I take some Welbutrin, like a little bit of Welbutrin, a little bit of Zoloft every day, and that fucking changed my life. Yeah, that's how I am too, I just need like a low dose of Prozac, some exercise, and I'm pretty much good.

That's it. And living a life that I love. Exactly. Yeah. A hundred percent. And that was the thing that was for me was like I needed to like figure out how to deal with that and but I didn't.

I did what everybody does when they lose touch with you know what the whole deal is and so. Yeah. But yeah. So but the dog's pills

that's pretty fucking pathetic and the dog's like and you're like what the fuck bro? You know. I actually. He's limping and you're like

yeah he'll be fine. My sobriety date I had to had to change because of sucking on whipped cream sucking the nitrous

yeah like I got sober and then I screwed around with some pills that I got from the dentist so I changed my sobriety date and then I

before I changed it I was warring with myself as to whether I should tell people right and the part of me that was like no screw it it's not a big deal before I changed it, I was warring with myself as to whether I should tell people. Right. And the part of me that was like,

no, screw it, it's not a big deal, wanted to prove that to the other part of me by sucking the nitrous out of whipped cream. So I had to change it twice. Yeah, but it's, nobody cares. But it's just by a few months. You think people care. Right, right, right.

Like they're going to be like, oh boy, this guy. And they're like showing their own shit and they don't care and they're happy to hear that you're a human being and that you failed. If you were serious, you wouldn't be telling me this. It's not about, it is not about days acquired.

It is about trying to walk that path and trying to be a decent, righteous person who's in service of other people. It really has zero to do with the time. Nobody gives a fuck. Time is, you know and if people that are impressed by that they're impressed by the wrong thing because it's a

day to day reprieve it's just like I just gotta make it to midnight bro that's all I'm shooting for today I just wanna make

it to midnight you know what I mean coffee's my only vice left you know I don't even have meat anymore I gotta be off sugar

cause sure cancer loves sugar like there's so many things that like have to change I'm down to like coffee and that's it. Right.

You know? What about internet porn? Well, you know, you dip in, you say hi, but even that, too. You want some ice and sugar. Hello. Even that. Even that's been, like, a thing where I'm like... Yeah, even that can be, like, addictive for me.

Yeah, and I'm also, like, you know, I married someone who's still fucking hot as shit. And so, that's my... You know, so I'm trying to'm, I'm trying to be, I'm trying to be present for everything and let everything be real and try not to, you know, try not to jack it up with something else. Cause it, you know,

um, I found that that stuff can also be bad for you, you know, after, um, uh, I, I like,

I like a lot of everything when I like something, you know what I mean? So, you know, I have a lot of guitars, you know, that I don't need and I what I mean? Oh, yeah. You know, I have a lot of guitars, you know, that I don't need and I can only play

one at a time. And I really only go to Chipotle every day for the last six months, I believe. Yeah. And I'm really craving it pretty badly right now.

Yeah. Probably. I went on a Chipotle run for a while. I did a Chipotle run. And I'll burn out on that and then I'll be into something else

for another six months. Yep. At one point, I was like getting steak every night and frying it up at home. I'll just go through these binges of things.

Pizza for a while, Burger King, I remember that. So I can't take it anymore. Yeah, I burned out on Chipotle but I went there, I mean I was, same thing too where I go I'm just going to pop over to Chipotle real quick, even though we're having it for dinner. I'm going to have one for lunch as well. So it's good. I mean, you know, for lunch as well yeah you know so it's good

I mean you know but that is better than yeah that's better than Vicodin sure yeah Chipotle is better

than Vicodin I think it is I mean I think we've come to controversial statement yeah yeah well I hope the blogs don't pick this up

seems like you ought to come back holy fuck Patton's going to get a hold of this Salon's going to talk about it Lindy West is going to make a comment of this. Salon's going to talk about it. Lindy West is going to make a comment.

It's all going to go through the roof. Friends calling. You okay, bro? Holy shit, man. You getting burrito bowls? Yeah, dude. I'm doing okay, man. It's not really your business, man.

Why don't you fucking back off my fucking Chipotle? How much did you spend on guac this year? Oh, dude. So it was just all Chipotle trash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not mine, man. I'm holding it for a friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I helped a friend get all Chipotle trash yeah that's not mine man I'm holding it for a friend yeah

I helped a friend get off Chipotle I took all the stuff I helped a friend get off Chipotle oh man I'm helping a friend get off Chipotle

it's hard man I'm pretty committed to that right now he's really committed to it well Greg man thank you for taking the time

no dude this was great it was a lot of fun man thank you for doing this and like I'm glad that you're doing well, thank you for taking the time out. No, dude, this was great. It was a lot of fun. Man, thank you for doing this, and I'm glad that you're doing well, man. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah, the fact that you're touring and doing all that stuff, it's really inspiring, man. Well, thank you.

I do it because I love it. It's that funny thing about comedy. I quit a bunch in my head. I've given up. I mean, on the podcast, I talk about that. I was quitting every weekend. You know, really frustrated. But it's that weird thing of,, I talk about that. I was quitting every weekend. You know, really frustrated.

But it's that weird thing of like, if you really do this for a living, you do it. You just keep doing it. You just want to do it. It feels good. It feels right. You know what I mean?

Like, because who would pick this? Like, it's either a calling or it's not, man. Like, you either, you don't want,

nobody would pick this. Yeah, I would not do it at this point. Yeah, it's just a ridiculous job. And it's, and it's, you know, if you think about it,

the idea of walking into a room of 250 strangers and going, oh, no, you will laugh. You're like, that is insane. That's an insane person's thought. It's like the greatest nightmare of every person ever. Yeah, right. Yeah. This idea of, like, you know, being up there

and then also trying to feel like you have something to say and something to offer and making it worth something, not just going the cheap route, but trying to really get people's minds to twist a little bit. It's a scary thing, but that's the one addiction I'm okay with. Right. Yeah. Seems to be going okay. It's all right. Thanks, you guys.

Yeah. Is there anything you want to plug or want to direct people to on the internet? You know what? Everything is really available on my Twitter, at Gregory Barrett. Like, my tour dates pop up on there when I'm doing shows. I'm starting to periscope every time I play music, you know, because I still do. I do shows where I do stand-up, but I bring my guitar. Oh, cool.

And sort of a half-Jack White, half-fucking, that's a nice compliment, but to myself. Half-Jack White, half-Jack Black. Half-Jack White, half-Jack Black. That's exactly right. That's what I try to do. Half-Jack White, half fucking, that's a nice compliment, but to myself. Half Jack White, half Jack Black. Half Jack White, half Jack Black. That's exactly right. That's what I try to do. Half Jack White, half Jack Black. I have a drummer, and it's just me and him. I realized after having a band for a long time,

if you just have a drummer, you're fucking loving it. Like, you get rid of all the other musicians, and then you can go wherever you want, because a drummer just follows, you know what I mean? You're supposed to follow the drummer, but you know what I mean? Like, I was like, why didn't I think of this earlier? Like, Jack White, yeah. Oh, stop. Is that right know what I mean? I was like, why didn't I think of this earlier? Josh is a fucking awesome drummer.

Oh, stop. Is that right? Well, I do okay. I bought an electronic kit for my birthday last year. It was a little treat to myself, but that's been amazing. Living in a city and then having a full drum kit at your disposal anytime. You come home from a show and you're still kind of jazzed up. You're like, I'm just going to beat the fuck out of these drums and they sound great i love fucking drums so i've

been jamming with my friend we actually used to play in a band when we were like 17 and uh we never really played out it's the stuff you think of like when you're young stuff you get so nervous about like i don't think we're ready to play the arcade on ken island yeah yeah and then like 10 years later like we're such fucking pussies we should have just done it you know yeah yeah but he came over the other the other night like i did a show and he was up and uh it was like midnight he's like well let's play i was like yeah we can it's because you just put the headphones on you plug it into the macbook and you have the drums and the guitar oh that's amazing we played till like eight in the morning oh that's amazing in my basement in baltimore and it was fucking great see i was the opposite i was like people were like, people were like, you can't play yet. I'm like, we're

playing. We're playing a show. We're going out to play a show. I've never been great, but I've always been enthusiastic and fun to watch. And so I would just go out and play the fuck out of it, even though I could barely play. And I would be all over the stage. And for me, it was more like me too. And I heard Elvis

Costello on Marin's show, and he said, you know, they asked him about his guitar playing, and Mark goes, you're a really good guitar player. He goes, I only ever learned one song that had nine chords in it, and I never learned anything else.

I didn't learn those chords. And he goes, I like the idiot factor to be in my guitar playing. He goes, you know, keep that interlink ray. Like, let yourself be, like, just let a sound come out of you in a way. And once I realized that, and I'm in this band called the Rainy Mons it's very very professional and very very good really tight

yeah really tight but i was like i don't want to be tight i want to do like what jack white did at the beginning of his career which is just to grab a drummer go out there if i fuck up i can just figure it out i can stop and talk into the mic and do stand-up for a minute and then go back into the song yeah and play my own walk-on music and do a whole thing and it's really freeing because then it's just my guitar playing which is my real expression of myself which is just awful but it's

I love it at the same time I'm sloppy and I fucking get the wrong chord at least once during a song yeah I'm terrible but I do it anyway I just have to it's another one of those things I just have to do yeah that for me is like that's actually even more compelling to me. It's like I just have to live and breathe that. Like, I don't, I'm not worried about it being good.

I don't mind if it's noisy or atonglet moments or sloppy. And when people see it, they're like, well, it's fun to watch. You know what I mean? Because I'm having the best time ever. And I think that's really part of it. It's just like, I just want to go make a noise. It doesn't have to be a great noise. You know, I don't want to be a real skilled bluesman.

That sounds like a nightmare to me. When I hear people play really well or talk about really... I was talking to somebody about this the other day, another bassist, we were both talking about how, like, is there anything more annoying than somebody who's really, good at bass like a really technically good bass player you know and they have it like up by their chin you're like six strings you're like a huge fretboard like yeah no it's like that like when i hear when i hear people talk about classic albums and people that like you know i listen to stuff i just get bored out of my fucking mind i just like chaos

yeah i like chaos and i like and i like discordant stuff and that's get bored out of my fucking mind. I just like chaos. I like chaos and I like discordant stuff. All my heroes are sloppy. Or just not difficult. Not trying to say so much or too much. Letting a chord matter in the moment. C.C. DeVille was like, i go down to watch john bryan who's like a really gifted musician who plays at largo in la all the time he goes i was john bryan it's fantastic you know what i do i play a d chord just like this and i put my fist in the air like that's

all i do that's what i do i put it i just play d and then it just fits in the air like that and then i go to an a yeah like and i'm like yes open about how he isn't a great guitarist but fuck he wrote hits. Yeah. If you hear his guitar, you know it's him. Yeah. I think the idea of anything is like, it's a sound that you make. It's like, my stand-up's my stand-up, like it or not. But if you hear me, you go, that's Greg Barron.

That's what Greg Barron sounds like. That's what his jokes sound like. That's the way he talks. That's his sound. It's his, you know. And there are people, you know, that are probably, you know, somehow like me or I'm like other people. But I have my own thing. And same with, like, guitar playing.

It's like I'm only going to ever arrive at the same place. So why make it so difficult for myself? Why try to be something that I'm not or take, you know what I mean? Like, well, you should learn this stuff. It's like, no, you know, I know what I like and I gravitate towards that. But then I want to go play, you know. I want like well you should learn this stuff it's like no I you know I know what I like and I gravitate towards that but then I want to go play you know I want to learn in front of people I'm glad that's the only way you're really going to become something you know what I mean because in your bedroom who cares yeah I'd rather watch that than session musicians that are perfect you know right right and I I like I love a good craftsmanship like I like you know

there's something to say for that but it's like a guy that's just like crushing it with like scales and stuff you're like well that's cool like going to see like Yves Malmström or something

like that and you're like walking ahead yeah right or even in the early days when Eddie started Van Halen

you were like that you either played like that or you were out it was like oh this is like jocks again like now I'm around jocks again

I don't want I love that that's his thing I don't want to do the finger tapping I don't want to I want to you know he made his thing up That's his thing. I don't want to do the finger tapping. I don't want to... He made his thing up. What's my thing?

What's my particular thing? That'll be different, but if you gravitate towards what somebody else is doing, then you're ultimately never going to find where you're supposed to be. This podcast just will not end. It will not end.

It's a blast, though. Just real quick, I feel the same way. Like, the fucked up notes and, like, when you're fucking up when you're playing, that usually leads to the better song. Like, you're like, oh, I fucked up. And then my drummer will be like, no, no, no, what was that? What was that? Do that again.

You're like, the ugly chord? They're like, yeah, yeah, do that. And that's what makes it stand out. That's right. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I think allowing yourself to, like, those happy accidents, what they call them. And also just like, yeah, I think that kind of like, that's what my stand-up is. I want it to feel like my stand-up. I never do my stand-up the same way twice, ever. I never, I don't have the words completely figured out.

There are, you know, obvious punchlines and obvious transitions. But a lot of times I'll retell the story differently or I allow it to be... I've never written anything down. I've barely ever written anything down. Because it won't be the sound that I make. It's good when I struggle to remember the bit a little bit. What's going to happen

in between those two moments. Versus reciting a script. Now when the crowd's shitty, it's a bummer because now I gotta fucking work. Now I can try to get them to laugh.

So when the crowd's awesome I have time to like all of a sudden I go down a path I had no idea. I walk into the Starbucks to tell my joke about Starbucks

and suddenly I get off on the barista and then we talk about the fluidity of sexuality because she's clearly some something in the middle because she's got a rugby number tattooed to the side of her head but i don't want to judge her and i want to explore

that concept for a while and then maybe never revisit that bit again never revisit it again but get to do it in the context of a bigger bit that i know about yeah my friend ordering his drink kids temp i don't know fucking fuck him all right now let's wrap it up wrap it up gregory barrett on twitter turkey barrett twitter that has everything that has it all there all there Alright, man. Well, let's wrap it up. Wrap it up. Gregory Barron on Twitter. Turkey Barron on Twitter. That has everything there. That has it all there. All there. Thank you.

Mike, you're at Mike Moran Wood on Twitter. I am. And that's... Yep. I'm at Josh Goderno. The podcast is at BigSeshPod. Go to digressionsessions.com slash calendar for live upcoming dates. And I think that's it.

David Koechner, take us out. Digressions Sessions,, coming to an end. Thank you. Oh, yeah.