The Digression Sessions - Ep. 18 George Clooney References! w/ Mike Finazzo!!

Episode Date: January 3, 2012

Hola Digheads! Your two favorite ear buds are back and we be diggier and seshier than ever in 2k12!!! On this episode we are joined by comedian, film maker, lover, glasses wearer, and all around good fucking guy - MIKE FINAZZO!!! We talk about all kinds of ish, but mostly about George Clooney movies. Your opinion of this ep will not be UP IN THE AIR! This ep is so funny it'll have you in the ER! We are so glad Mike Finazzo came back. His forces combined with the Mike and Josh's created THE PERFECT STORM of funny! And now let's wait for the Return of the Killer Tomatoes!! .....MICHAEL CLAYTON!!  Go see Mike Finazzo at the Sidebar in Baltimore on Sunday, March 4, 2012 for the live recording of his stand up comedic stylings. GOODNIGHT & GOOD LUCK, DIGHEADS! Send us electronic mails at [e-mail]         And visit mikefinazzo.net often! Like us on the facebooks! And continue to spread the word about our podcast!! We lovvvvvee youuuuuuuuuuuuuu xoxo

That would be a great intro. Here we go. No, not yet. Sorry. I got a little late. Yeah, no, no, no. We're not going yet. Okay.

Well, just let me know. Okay. It just feels like it's running a little long. No, no, no, no, no. It's just you're coming in a little early. I'm just kidding. Could you stop? We're trying to do an intro here.

I thought that we were playing on that. Oh my god. Sorry. Don't even shake your head. We're not starting this way. Could you just settle down? I'm sorry. I want coffee. What? What?

Okay. All right. I'll stop. I see you swaying over there. No swaying. I'm not allowed to sway. The microphone's not going to pick up the sway. They're picking up the sway.

I'm reading the sway levels are off the charts. The big heads can write in and tell whether or not it's... Oh, yeah. I thought that was part of the song. I thought the banter was... We come in first. Even if it is, that doesn't mean that you get to jump in.

Holy shit. Welcome back to the FNAZcast. Oh, my God. It's Mike FNAZ-o all the time apparently Wow He just waltzes on in here Absolutely no regard for anyone else None at all

Asks for a glass of water Not here two minutes before he asks Who am I? No, I don't need ice Who am I? Does that make us Mike FNAZ-o? That's me, yeah It's you doing him

That's me doing him That's like your impression of him. Yeah. That's it. Ready? Ready? Who am I? Harold Remus.

That's him. That's him. Yeah. Ghostbusters 2. That was it. That was it. That was a deep cut. I'm glad you got that.

Thanks. Yeah. The part where he does the thing. Uh-huh. Yeah. He's wearing the ring on his thing. Egon. Yeah.

Yeah. The ghost. Well, what's up, dig heads? Oh. It's your two favorite earbuds. That's right. Josh Koderna. And Mike Moran.

Hey, how are ya? How you guys doing in podcast land? How are things there? Yeah, really. How are they? Did you have a good weekend? Was the weather good? How was, uh...

Did you get a lot done? Did you have a productive day? There's a laundry piling up. Have you taken the trash out? How's the new year treating you? This will be the first podcast of 2012. Are we doing 2012 this year? Yeah.

I wasn't sure. It's a new year every January 1st. Do we always go in order, by the way? It seems like it's always numerically aligned. No, we don't do the Dick Clark count. We just do a normal linear... No, that's what I'm saying. Do we always do years

by number? Well, I guess there was BC where they went in descending order. We should start a new era. I mean, we had BC, AD. I say we start the trilogy. Post-Digression Sessions?

Alright, I like that. We're finishing each other's soon. This is going well. I have a feeling it's almost like That press conference Where that guy

Gave a really Shitty speech Are you talking about When Martin Luther King Yeah Martin Luther King's Warm up What a dud

Yeah you see I had a dream Which was not the What if Martin Luther King Worked like comedians He just had like Shitty open mics I had a vision

Nah Nah I gotta workshop that one I had a daydream So there's So how was your Let's do a quick mic check And check in with Mike Moran

Mic check Mic check Can Mic check. Can I have my own theme song for this segment? Sure. You ready? Yeah. Welcome to the mic check. I don't like it.

Well, that's the end of mic check then, I guess. Well, no. We just need to re-bamp it. Re-bamp it? Re-bamp it. Re-Maria Bamford it? Yeah. It sounds like such a Flintstones name.

Maria Bamford? Yeah. Because of Bam Bam? Well, just, you know how, like, their names were all, like, wrong. This is why we should do podcasts when you're drunk. This is not. This is a bad idea. Okay, that was a good pterodactyl impression.

Thank you. I like that. So, what's going on? I think I was calling it a pterodactyl for years and years. It does have the P in front of it. Oh, it does? Yeah. But it's pronounced pterodactyl?

Yeah. What's up with silent letters? What's up with Neanderthals? What's the deal? Neanderthals. How do they work? Not very hard because they're not alive today. ICP's going to tackle that one next.

Neanderthals. How the fuck do they live? So what else is going on? How was your holiday? Homo erectus That'd be a good name for a rap group actually Homo erectus For like a gay rap group? Yeah

Okay My holiday was good Nothing really exciting to report There's babies all over the place Uh huh Just in general? wherever you go yeah i kept trying to leave the house but i couldn't because there's babies everywhere goddamn babies yeah it was like uh i'm guessing your family's poor then yeah why there's so many babies around

yeah oh yeah how is your well let's let's uh Can we check in with Just Joshin' ya? We're Just Joshin'. This is a segment we call... Just Joshin'. Just Joshin'. I like that theme. Yeah? I'm Just Joshin'.

Oh, I see. How are you doing, Josh? I'm doing quite well. I had a good holiday. Kind of uneventful, but it was good. Saw the family. My last encounter with... Is that in theaters now?

What's that? The family? Yeah, it was good. It was good. It was good. Oh, side note. I saw The Descendants last night with that salt and peppered handsome man, George Clooney. And if anybody tells you that I cried during that movie, they're a liar.

And you need that person out of your life. Forever. Alright? I wouldn't cry. I don't care. What's the dissidence about? Is that with Sylvester Stallone and like Dolph Lundgren? Steve Austin. Terry Crews. And George Clooney for some reason.

Is George Clooney in that? I did think it was kind of weird reason. Is George Clooney in that? That's The Expendables. I did think it was kind of weird that Mickey Rourke was in that. Yeah. He wasn't like an 80s action guy, was he? No, but I think he just has nothing else to really do now. He's just like a character of what he used to be pretty much. So I actually heard on that movie he, for his character,

he's in the movie for like 15 minutes, maybe total. And when he showed up to the set, Mickey Rourke talked to Sylvester Stallone. He's like, can I get like a few hours to kind of work out this character and this inspiration? And he's like, how much time do you need? He's like, can we have like four hours? He's like, I'll give you 10. He's like, okay. Mickey Rourke was really serious about this 15-minute role he had in this B movie.

Well, I can see why it wasn't a B movie. Pretty much. What constitutes a B movie these days? I feel like it's... I mean, it used to be, like, a super cheap movie that they would show with the feature. I'd say if you have 17 washed-up 80s action movie stars in there. But it's still, like, a big-budget mainstream film. Yeah.

You're just saying it has like a B-movie feel. Yeah. Like it seemed like it could have been in the Grindhouse trailers. You know, where they had a bunch of fake movies and scenes. Yeah, it was like that. Right. But still, it was good. It was good.

I enjoyed the film. What are we talking about now? I don't know. This is why we, it was good. It was good. I enjoyed the film. What are we talking about now? I don't know. This is why we call it the digressions. Because we keep digressing. Way to throw that in there. But anyway, so I had this one family dinner where

my grandma stopped in the middle of the dinner. She points at my uncle and my dad just out of nowhere and goes, which one of you had to get two circumcisions? There's none of that this holiday. I was looking forward to it. I just wanted to be like, Which one of you was born without a butthole?

Which one of you was born with two buttholes? I remember I had to put Life Magazines in penny candy. Life Magazines? How candy. Life Magazines? How big was this butthole? Hey, I don't know. You'd think a cotton swab would take care of that for a child. No, they just poured it in one gigantic butthole. And then they had to fill in the hollow, empty shell of the Life Magazine with candy?

Well, poop was coming out of both, and it was making a mess. So you had to stuff up one. I know, but why does it need a life magazine? Because they were pretty prevalent when my dad and uncle were young. I bet you couldn't even get a homemade zine up your butt.

Alright, fine. Sounds like we got another challenge. Human Centipede 1? Human Centipede 3. Starring Martin Lawrence. 3D? Yeah. I bet that will happen, actually. There will be.

Yeah, I can see that happening. I was kind of surprised the second one wasn't. So long story short, my dad had to get two circumcisions because the moil that came over to do the circumcision was drunk. Yeah. And this is good radio. You got to pretend like you haven't heard this story. So the Moyle,

you're not going to believe this. He was drunk. No, I'm just guessing. I'm sorry. Continue the story. Oh wow, this sounds like a really interesting story. I want to hear the rest of it. Okay, okay.

So the Moyle comes over to do a circumcision You're not going to believe this, but he was He was Jewish? You're not going to believe this, but he was Christian And that's why he cut up my That's why they had to do it again At my grandfather's funeral He carved the word Jew in his dick

And then threw a smoke bomb and left At my grandfather's funeral My sister's friend didn't know what the hell to do when everybody got up for communion. Yeah. And we all just sat down. But all the people who were there for the actual services and people who were actually Catholic got up and all took communion. And my sister's friend went with them just because everyone around her was doing it. She didn't know what to do.

And they handed her a wafer and she just put it in her pocket and walked off. And then she was really upset because someone told her that that means that the whole mass didn't happen. She completely made the entire funeral. And then she was really embarrassed the next day when she washed her pants and the body of Christ went everywhere in the laundry. Does Tide get out the body of Christ?

Because it is everywhere. It's all over my cardigan. All right. So we have a comedian here with us, Mr. Mike Fonazo. Mike Fonazo. Filmmaker as well, correct? Yes. And driver. Uh-huh. Yep,aker as well, correct? Yes. And driver.

Yep, I drove myself here today. Lover. I see a ring on that finger, ladies. I see a ring on that cock. Mike's like, yep, I can't get it off. I see a ringworm under that skin. So how the hell are you, Mike Fonazzo? Good.

It's good to be back here. It's been a long time. Yeah, really. I haven't seen you in a long time. Can I comment on some things you were talking about? Sure. Hold on. If I could just.

Okay. All right. There you go. I have a friend who's black. Hold your applause. Oh, yeah. you go um i have a friend who's black hold your applause um and he uh he married a jewish woman and we went to the uh to the ceremony where they cut the tip of the baby's dick off and uh whatever you were talking about with your dad that happened twice yeah yeah they boil a christian baby and then they cut off the dick. And all I could think of, I had like a Scrubs moment,

where all I could think of was the black half of the room would just be like, oh, no, look out behind you. He's going to cut your dick, baby. Cut your dick off out there. Run. And, yeah, they cut the tip of the baby's penis off, and it was still eight inches. Wow. Stereotyping.

Am I right? Two times. Double dipping on that stereotype yeah um that was really hit oh and i saw the descendants what did you think of the movie i give it a 90 out of 900 no 90 out of 100 i'm just kidding i'm having fun yeah i think it's pretty generous it's one of those things where i appreciated the movie because i think uh clooney's great in it yeah it's wonderful it's that generous. It's one of those things where I appreciated the movie because I think Clooney's great in it. It's wonderful. I love Clooney. That guy makes me want to dye my hair salt and pepper.

I wouldn't go that far. That's funny because he makes me want to dye. That guy makes me want to jerk him off. That's a movie where I think... Son of a bitch. You think George Clooney's a son of a bitch? I don't get the word. I bleep his name out, too.

It's going to be embarrassing when the creature and George Clooney on next week's show I don't have to answer for myself That's why you come on a podcast, no comment No, that's a movie where I think that if you take out George Clooney and put in a lesser actor, to me that's a Hallmark movie Yeah Like, it's kind of, it's like I think I'll let you finish I'm gonna let you finish okay it's one finish I think the I will just finish I think the acting is great at it but if you put John Stamos that I heard the creature was actually in the running

he doesn't listen to pop I hope not either because I think he could hurt me I heard he killed his last girlfriend he had sex with For those of you who listen to this show Hey, we're in eight countries by the way Are we really? It's a lot of people It's not what I said on the last podcast It's a lot of people

For our friends in Mexico. For our friends in Vatican City. Hola. Who haven't seen, I think the three of us, nerdiest group of people. Sure. We're all being spectacle here. We make Chris Hardwick's podcast look like the fucking Expendables. I don't think we're really, I'd say we're more dorks yeah because nerds know about nerdy stuff we're splitting pubic hairs

here because none of us could be we're splitting luke skywalker i love that melancholy album by then by the way nerds are dorks we're not beating no nerds and anything nerds know about computers well i guess you guys are well they but they know about star trek and they know about computers. Well, I guess you guys do. But they know about Star Trek and they know about Star Wars. I've never seen Star Wars. I know, exactly. We are dorks. But none of us can fight. No.

I go for the balls so quickly if I've ever gotten a fight. But yeah, I thought The Descendants was decent. I guess part of me was let down because Sideways is one of my favorite movies. Yeah, it's the same guy. Never seen it. It's Alexander Payne, and I guess he set the bar pretty high.

And after not doing a movie for like eight years or something. Well, let's give it up to Alexander Payne for giving Matthew Lillard some work. He's good, though. He was the perfect choice. I almost felt bad because he plays a douchebag realtor in the movie. So when they're casting, we need a really douchey, douchey guy. What's Lillard up to? What's Lillard up to?

The thing is, Matthew Lillard, my wife and I talked about this. We saw him in an independent movie. She could fuck him. Yeah, she had been there, done that, bought the Scooby-Doo t-shirt. He's in a movie. It's a little independent movie called Spooner, which is the same guy directed Like Crazy. But he's great in it. It's a very

like Garden State type movie. And Matthew Lillard's awesome. He's good in SLC Punk too. Yeah, he is great in that movie. I thought that movie sucked. From what I remember of it. Mike. Continue. Thanks. But no, it's a great cast in that movie i love the the way

it's shot yeah it's it's it's basically just um propaganda for hawaii look at how beautiful hawaii is that's that's what i triumph of a nation for hawaii but but i do think that it's one of those things where if it's lesser performances i think it's a triumph of a non-continental movie with a plus i liked yeah i like that the everybody was normal like the kids weren't like these little buddhas full of wisdom like i saw money ball and i complained about on one uh uh a digression session episode with uh thomas dotstree on it but i hate how there's all these little kids in everything you see they're like eight years old but yet they know exactly what's good for their dad but dad you gotta try harder well yeah it'd be better if like they gave them really bad advice and it ruined everything right but uh a movie i really like this year probably my favorite movie this year was did you see 50 50 is one of my 50 50 and

beginners were my two favorites and i liked beginners Beginners a lot as well. 50-50 is probably my favorite movie this year, and that's one of the reasons I did like it. It's because he didn't have cancer and then have a friend who's just full of wisdom. It's just kind of a bunch of people trudging along just trying to get through it. I think it's very realistic. It's also one of those movies where parts of it are hilarious, but the drama never feels heavy-handed. Right. Well, that's what I kind of liked about the descendants that everything's why you're wrong no and that's

why i'm leaving fuck this fuck you josh sit down no no descendants was shit all right they played some good songs i did like the soundtrack actually was did too What is this movie about? And why does it sound like a punk rock band from the 70s? It is a punk rock band from the 70s It's actually the story of the Descendants George Clooney plays every role Just like Jack and Jill Adam Sandler played

George Clooney plays himself at his dead wife Basically Oscar bait Spoiler alert It's in the trailer himself at his dead wife. Basically, Oscar bait all over this thing. Spoiler alert. It's in the trailer, so it's not too much of a spoiler. George Clooney's wife is dying

or is dead. You couldn't tell which one it was. George Clooney's wife is a zombie. In the trailer, I think they make it seem like she's dead, but in the first five minutes of the movie, she's not. Does she have a coma? Like in Rocky V when Burgess Meredith was in a flashback sequence?

Yeah. No, no real flashbacks, really. But no, it's Clooney finds out. Clooney does train in a barn, though, punching meat for some reason. And I'm just going to ignore everything. Just because, you know what, listeners want to know what the sadness is about they don't want to go to youtube they want to hear it for the fucking digression sessions podcast hell yeah they're here so uh george clooney uh aka silver fox hell yeah um his wife is dying and he has to become a father for basically

the first time. Got two daughters. Can't connect with them for shit. Cannot connect. Something a real disconnect here. Wackiness ensues. Yeah. The disconnects, right? I get it.

Descendants disconnect. The disco nets? Yeah, the disco nets. That was stupid. The New Jersey disco nets. Mike Fonazo, please continue. That's basically it. Mike Fonazo, tell us about the end credits.

Please wait. Actually, stay for the end credits. Because you thought Samuel might be. Samuel Jackson shows up at the end. Because it sets up the Avengers movie. I see your wife just died of a coma. Join me and Iron Man in a fight against evil.

But if you want to watch a good George Clooney movie, wait to Redbox the Descendants and watch Up in the Air. I saw that in the theater, actually. Up in the Air, a little long. It was good. See, I liked Up in the Air a lot. I didn't think it was that great. I got kind of bored. Well, you know what, Mike? That's why I don't think it was that great. I got kind of bored. Well, you know what, Mike?

That's why I don't ask you for your opinion about movies. Because of the way I feel about Up in the Air? No, just your face. I don't know. My opinion about Mike Moran is Up in the Air. If a shark doesn't get blown to bits at the end, or if someone doesn't get literally dragged to hell in front of the camera, like that movie. Dragged to hell?

Actually, Jaws. Then I'm not interested. I want to go back to some comedic gold, but Josh said, my opinion about Mike Buran is up in the air. You guys didn't see it, but he slammed the mic down and walked out of the room for a second. Yeah. It was pretty amazing. That was me throwing the mic down and um yeah yeah well i don't know maybe everybody's opinion of that joke is up in the air oh you just got finosified oh man oh yeah it's all good i got a little podcast boner right there. I don't know about you guys. Yeah.

A little half-chop. If that lasts for more than four hours, we need to end this podcast. If this podcast is going on for four hours, we have bigger problems. If I got an erection for more than ten hours, I'm not going to the doctor. I'm going to go get some booty. No, I like the other version of that joke. It's like, say, call a doctor. I'm going to go get some booty. No, I like the other version of that joke. It's like, say, call a doctor. I'm going to call everyone.

I got a four-hour bonus. Where is that from? Every Def Jam comedian ever. That's what I was thinking. I think that was the creature on his. That was what the creature closed with the other day. We are so going to get our asses kicked. I can't wait.

Maybe we'll just beep all those out. I can just smell the gasoline-soaked dirt that we're going to be kicked in next to someone's truck somewhere else. I can smell the white trash. Is the creature in here? I'm really glad that you've beeped out the name Dane Cook. Hey, why at a comedy club, McGoovy's in Timonium? I don't even want to say this joke.

What are you, a go-do? I think before you say the joke, you should start out with a sentence. Yeah, that probably helps. Why at a comedy club, McGoovy? Why our cup paper airplane. Right? No, at Magoobies, a comedy club

in Timonium, Maryland. You could just say Magoobies Comedy Club like everybody else on this planet. But people don't know where it is. I guess it really doesn't matter where it is. It doesn't matter. Your listeners in Vatican City are not going there. This is in the 1970s.

People can look it up and find it. Well, I'm putting it out there for the one listener in Korea that downloaded this. Supan? Kim Jong-un or whatever the new one is. The new great. I think it's Kim Jong-un or something. The great successor. Can we just have a moment of silence for Kim Jong-il?

Because I really liked his performance in The Hangover Oh yeah! Yeah! I'm just worried about who's going to teach Daniel Sun now The black one or the white one? I'm pretty sure he was Asian

I'm just worried about the gift that I'm going to have to get. I just met Karate Kid, the black one. The Hillary Slank one. Cut this out. Cut everything out. Cut this all out. We'll do it live. I love that video.

Sting? What does that mean? It's not words. So can we get back to your Magoobies question, joke, comedy club? At the comedy club, Magoobies, on the bathrooms, instead of writing men and women, Dane Cook. They have a picture of Dane Cook on the men and Kathy Griffin on the door. If you got it wrong, it's not men and women.

The Dane Cook is men and griffin bathroom is for gay men see i thought they put so where do the women go um outside where they belong the kitchen it could be a pie that's what they're doing that's better than my joke i was gonna say why is it because they're both like i said i regretted that idea as soon as i had it that that joke happened bad jokes happen your brain needs a liver what what your brain needs to filter out all the bad ideas before it goes out into your bloodstream. I don't know. My budstream? Bloodstream. My bud-dwyer-stream?

I'm actually, every reaction I have is going to be a George Clooney movie, so I'll just say that your joke was out of sight. Oh, brother. I'm killing him with this joke. I think everybody's going to have to go to the ER after they listen to this podcast. Yeah, I guess you guys remind me of Batman and Robin. I guess. Oh, Once Upon a Time in Mexico. You should go swim in the oceans.

11. I don't think he was in Once Upon a Time in Mexico. No, he wasn't. That was Antonio Bandadas. Yep. Well, anyway, we got some time to make up for that joke because we'll be here from dusk till dawn. is. Yep. Well, anyway, we got some time to make up for that joke because we'll be here from dusk till dawn.

Oh, wow. Wow. I like that energy you bring into the podcast. Sorry. I've been up since 1130. It's 1145. Yeah, I know.

Let's take a break. Get your fucking act together. All right, we're back. Mike Fonazza, what's happening on your phone over there? Looking up George Clooney movies. Oh, that's not fair. That's not fair. I've got the Leonard Maltin app.

Do you? I do. Shout out to Doug Loves Movies. Is that the Batman Triumph that never happened? What the fuck are you talking about? The fifth Batman movie that was supposed to have George Clooney in it?

The Batsuit was going to have nipples again. Yeah, I think so. Bigger codpiece. I think it was going to actually have testicles this time, too. Hanging off. This sounds like

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Oh, boy. You leatherheads. You guys should go swim in the oceans. Twelve. I'm only enjoying these jokes because I speak English and you're the American.

They should make a prequel called Oceans 4. I don't get it. Can I just tell you something, guys? Yeah, lay it down, Mike Fianazzo. Unlike our last podcast, this has been one fine day. You could have just been making that up. I have no idea. That's right, yeah.

George Clooney, Michelle Pfeiffer. Hey, and let's not forget, always better on the inside. Am I right, guys? That was a movie he made in the late 80s. Just kidding. I think you made that up. Yeah, I made it up. Let's not forget that all kids are pink on the inside.

Am I right? That was one of the early movies he did. You're just preaching to the choir festival. Choir Festival, 1991. You never saw it? It was a made-for-TV movie. Yeah, Leonard Maltin gave it four stars. Did he really?

Yeah. Thanks for turning this podcast into a house of lies, Mike Fonazzo. That ship sailed a long time ago. Or the Ocean's 13. Brought it back. Let's take a break, and then we're going to dive deep into the oceans. Or the Ocean's 13 Oh Brought it back Oh Yeah Alright let's take a break And then we're gonna dive deep

Into the Ocean's 11 Of Mike Fonazzo Alright I'm excited about that We're on a break I'm sorry I didn't mean to talk to you Are we still on?

No I wasn't sure What the fuck is going on? Have we finished. Sorry. Do you want to start the break over? Let's just start it over. Let's start it over. And we're back.

And we are back. All right. Just sitting here. I'm doing a cannonball into Mike Fonazzo's waters. Yeah. And interrupting him as he goes for his pun. Yeah, it's all right. Because we're just three kings sitting here. Oh!

You got pun snatched. Pa-pa-pa-pa-pun. So what's going on, Mike Fonazzo? How's 2011 treat you? 2011 was a great year for me. I should say Ocean's 2011. Sorry. How did that treat you?

Are you ready for Oceans 2012? I am. 2011 was great for me. I loved what you and Don Cheadle did in Oceans 2011. I think we're all at our best together. It's two Oceans 11. Yeah.

Sorry. Continue, Mike. Sorry. Thank you for being the peacemaker, Mike Moran. Nobody remembers that one. Nicole Kidman, 1997. One and a half stars.

It wasn't good. Dangerously underrated. Yeah. 2011 was great. I've been on this podcast a few times. Yeah. Definitely the highlights. Yep.

I did a lot of stand-up. I know. You set a goal for yourself to do over 200 shows or was it 200 shows? It was over 200 shows and I ended the year at 203. Oh, wow. The year's not over yet, Mike.

I took the last week off anyway, so it's going to be 2012. You got married this year. That doesn't hold a candle to all the shitty open mics. Or the Digression Sessions podcast. I'm ranking them. It's Digression Sessions. Hell yeah.

Stand-up comedy. Because, you know, driving around to Kia Sophia to do five minutes in D.C. in front of three comedians and eight other people you would never hang out with otherwise way better than getting married to a woman way better than entering a loving relationship for the rest of your life yeah i got married that was pretty cool i'm talking about the digression sessions that's what we do here um and uh i got a puppy wow and uh that's been a good year what's the breed what's the name blood type pit boxer mix uh-huh she's great all right now what type of dog is it it's a pit boxer mix that's not the name that was my favorite video game in the early

90s by the way i really wishcher. I really wish there was a George Clooney movie that I could have referenced. It's a Siriana. What? It's name is Batman and Robin. At various times.

Sometimes it's Batman. But when you're bad, you're Robin. If that joke was in a garden, it would be a Rose Anne. George Clooney's on Rose Anne, guys. Yeah, he was her supervisor. He was also on a show called ER before the drama ER. Was he really? He was on a sitcom called ER.

No way. He was on two different shows called er i got canceled after like six episodes that has to be the only time we joke around we joke around a lot on here but i'm glad that finally somebody is bringing some facts of life to the show that was funny finally 32 minutes in yeah um i don't know what we were talking about, but 2011 was good. Bigger things on the horizon for 2012. I don't know what they are.

Besides whatever George Clooney's next project is. He's got one coming. He always does. He's got a bunch in the can. Yeah. How's the name of one of his movies as well? A bunch in the can. A bunch in the can.

That was before he got into mainstream filming. That was the Brady Bunch prequel. A bunch in the can. Yeah. What? That's when they all go to prison. Yeah, exactly. And they're all pooping together in the can.

The can? Yeah, yeah. We got that thank you speaking seriously you know what my favorite George Clooney movie is yeah

Medea Goes to Jail he was really good in that I don't think he's in that he played Medea no I think that was that gay black gentleman Tyler Perry nope George Clooney

that's how good he is Tyler Perry's the guy from Aerosmith that's how good he is tyler perry's the guy from aero smith um that's him yes sorry you look so serious when you did that like you did holding your chin pondering nothing like yes nothing like a visual bit on an audio podcast glad i brought these rubber chickens to the podcast yes um whoopee cushions i have nothing whoopee cushions would work actually move on you guys want to see me do my finger trick do it do it oh my god that was amazing yep i'm perfectly. Hey, just to fill the listener in, Mike Moran left and Chris Angel came in.

That was crazy. That was, oh, my God. Shit be crazy. How do you get abs like that? And levitate at the same time. Well, I don't get the abs and levitate at the same time. They're two separate deals. I hear levitating is good for the core.

Yeah. Yeah. I would tend to agree with that mike bonanza yeah so what's what's 2012 hold for you what's going on gonna record a cd yes what else uh just gonna yell things that you're gonna do you're gonna work i'm gonna work your car's gonna break down yeah gonna be alive you're gonna gain a little weight and then you're gonna gain a little weight, and then you're going to lose a little weight. I'm going to lose the weight first, then gain it back. You'll have six or seven haircuts. Possibly.

Six or seven. You'll probably get new glasses. I was actually thinking about that today. I've been using the same glasses for years. I like them, and I can see out of them. So wrong. Maybe you should go to LensCrafters. Two-for-one deals.

That's what my insurance covers. You mean the one conveniently located in Towson Town Center? That's the exact one. Right off of York Road? You know what, Mike? That's weird you said that. That is the exact one. Friendly care, friendly people, LensCrafters.

That's the LensCrafters way. And it makes the LensCrafters difference. Oh, brother, where art thou? Plugs. Choosy moms choose life. I don't know what that has to do with anything. Absent moms choose lucky charms. Because they're unhealthy.

Anyway, what else is going on, Mike Fonazzo? I'm going to riff on some fake plugs. I'm going to do that. I'm going to buy a book, and then I'm going to burn after reading it. This guy's bringing it now. Lots of things. I'm sure I'll be on here at least two more times. I doubt that.

No. Judging how this is going, I don't think so. You know what? You're going to edit this out. Oh, sure. Because that's you fucking Republican asshole. Wow, I think we really just pissed off Mike Venazzo there. Republican?

I don't know why I said that. Censoring us. Mike Brandt's full of wisdom, but you cut it out every week. All his best stuff I don't have enough room on my computer For those liberal bullshit rants Healthcare How does that work?

Magnets How do they work? Go Science Bam So you're recording this album in march march 4th in march yes no uh how much material are you gonna have for this album? What's the word? Right now, I have 45. Wow. Is that everything you have, or 45 minutes you're pleased with?

That's what I'm pleased with. I have some other stuff that's kind of in the works, but I'm shooting for the CD to be about 45. So I'll probably do a little bit more and then edit it down. I had about between 20 and 30 I was happy with. I probably got rid of some of that since uh since i set this goal in september um i had like 20 to 30 i was that i thought was good i wrote another 20 to 25 so uh in between there it's going to be a 40 to 45 minute cd

all right all right on you should do a double CD. Remember those? I do. Just keep asking you stuff that you remember. Yes. Remember BK Lights? No. Really? I remember those. I totally remember those.

Pepsi Blue. No. Mountain Dew Code Red. Yes. Never drank it. Remember it. Go. The Next Karate Kid.

Unfortunately. You ever whip your hair back and forth? Yes. Next question. I'm going to drink this podcast. Slap bracelets. Yes. Move on.

Gummy worms. I actually ate them Thursday before I came here to record the podcast. I think that's where it went wrong. I actually ate them Thursday before I came here to record the podcast. I think that's where it went wrong. The short-lived spinoff of the Golden Girls, Golden Palace. I do remember it. Next question. I don't remember that.

Who was in the spinoff? Was it Blanche? All of them except for the one. It was all but Bea, right? Yeah. She didn't want to do it. They owned a hotel. Cheech Marin was on it, too.

All these old women. And they had a remixed version of the song at the beginning. it? They owned a hotel. Cheech Marin was on it, too. Yep. All these old women. And they had, like, a remixed version of the song at the beginning. Really? Sort of got. Wow. And then it was Lowrider. After that was canceled. It was Lowrider, but.

After that was canceled, who was the oldest one? Sophia? Sure. She actually, her character moved into the Empty Nest universe for a long time. I just like that you didn't like Up in the Air, but you could tell me everything about the Golden Palace. Like middle school. That's your barometer for everything. That show is aimed towards middle schoolers.

Let's get that 12 to 14 demographic. Did you see Jay Edgar that's why they slotted up Dorothy's outfit in the last season they were bringing on you know like Tony Bennett and all the kids all the young guys

like Tony Bennett he was a surprise 65 on that show Dean Martin came through. He just happened to stop by the hotel and decided to do a few songs. But I haven't even warmed up. Pulls a microphone out of his jacket pocket. Good thing I walk around with this. Spits it in his hand.

What? I don't know. Spits and beyond. Spins the microphone in his hand What? I don't know Spits in Bjorn's hand Dead at night Spins the microphone in his hand I think it's spits in his hand That's like his signature move Old Dean

Old Dean spit in the hand Nobody will touch his microphone Make some racist off-color jokes. Roll the credits. You're out of there. Bada bing, bada boom. Sounds like a digression sessions episode. You think Dean Martin would appear on our show?

I would love if he would. I'm pretty sure he's dead. Dead tired of not being on the show. Next week's guests include the creature, the ghost of Dean Martin. And who else did you shit on? George Clooney. George Clooney. No, I like Clooney.

Oh, that's not what I heard. Ten minutes ago. And the next Karate Kid. Yes. Action-packed show next week. Oh, boy. Let's take a break. back from the break from the break okay i was just saying it's strange hold on when some when some news story breaks out where some, like, 13-year-old boy is left with, like, his hot math teacher.

Yeah. And they charge her with, like, molestation and, you know, it's like, come on. That kid's not going to be traumatized. He's going to be the exact opposite of traumatized. He's going to have high self-esteem. Yeah. He might go to the hospital. It's so different.

Men and women are different. If a man does it to a girl, it's different. Yeah, I agree. It just is. I mean, the kid might go to the hospital from a broken hand from high-fiving his friends too much. Right. But other than that, I think he'll be okay. Yeah.

I mean, he might have some brain damage from his ego rapidly multiplying in size. Uh-huh. And exponential rates. At such a quick pace. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I think they should have special award ceremonies in school to where it's like, hey, Billy,

he flunked finger painting, but he fucked a porn star. I think most of these kids are a little bit older than finger painting age when they have sex with their teeth. I went to Catholic school and was finger painting until 11th grade. They might have failed finger painting, but I'm sure they did great at finger bang.

I don't get it. Like really fast finger painting? Is that like 90s finger painting? Uh-huh. There's explosions of paint. Bang. No, I'm trying to say these young kids put their digits their fingers inside of a woman's vagina right repeatedly yeah that's finger banging okay that's it and what and i'm

sure they probably did great if they're finger-banging their teacher. Right. Instead of finger-painting. Continue. That's it. Okay. Keep going. I got you here. Basically, when a boy and a girl really like each other. Right.

And the girl is, well, for me, if she's crying. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Basically, when a broken adult teacher can't find love anywhere else. Okay. Continue. Sometimes she'll make Josh a man. I'm reading you.

And Josh will join an improv group and be awesome. Oh. That's where it started for you. Tell me more. Yeah. Tell me more. I was finger banging my teacher one day. This is a great yes end.

I think I'm using some improv. Keep going. Terms. Not only a great yes end. I think I'm using some improv. Keep going. Terms. Not only that, but fucking. Butt fucking. Continue. So there's probably some butt fucking going on with their teacher. Maybe a little finger banging, reaching around.

Right. And he probably plays on the lacrosse team. Probably tells his friends about it. Okay. I'm going with you here. Keep going. They probably egg him on. Right. And he probably plays on the lacrosse team. Probably tells his friends about it. Okay. Okay. I'm going with you here. Keep going. They probably egg him on.

Right. And she shouldn't be doing this, but she keeps doing it anyway. Keep her moving. So wrong, it's right. Give it to me. Uh-huh. No, that's literally what she says. She says, give it to me.

And they do. Right. Says, Billy, can I see you after class so you can fuck me? Continue. The song Pretty Fly for a White Guy plays. Uh-huh. The entire time. And then Girls Just Want to Have Fun plays over a montage of 69 positions.

All kinds of crazy. Eating that ass. Yep. Yep. What about all those old songs from the 50s that are all like, they seem so sweet and innocent. Hello, my baby. But they're about having sex with 16-year-old kids. We're not talking about Looney Tunes cartoons here.

What about that singing frog that would never sing in front of anybody else except his owner? What a dick that guy was. If you guys could have a sex montage to any song, what would it be? Moran first. Probably I've Been working on a railroad. Let's go one. Too legit to quit. And mine would be Happy Birthday.

Cool. By Paul McCartney? No. If I had to pick a Paul McCartney song, I would pick, I'm trying to think of something funny I got nothing, move on I haven't heard that song

It's really good It's a deep cut It's the best wing song That one, I hate that song Worst intro ever Yeah You know who's really talented Michael Jordan Yes yes he just got engaged did you see that to a model yep he's doing all right with his hitler mustache does he have a hit he does have

a hitler mustache weird how old is he uh probably in his 50s like late 40s early 50s yeah okay yeah michael jordan runs a racket pretty much uh where old white guys can pay a shit ton of money to play basketball with Michael Jordan. Right. And he just destroys them. Like old white guys are like, oh, good one, Mike. Yeah, I saw him on like 60 Minutes or something a few years ago. Yeah. I'm just picturing these guys going back to the office.

Like, oh, and then he dunked it on me. Like, oh, you don't say. Good for you, Jim. Was he wearing the shoes? Did he wear the Air Jordans? Did he do that thing where he looks like he had a tongue out and he's trying to dunk it? Did he do that? Did he do that?

If you guys could do, like, Michael Jordan playing basketball with somebody, if you could do something with a famous person. Right, Sasha Gray. I was going to say, I'd watch Sasha Gray fuck a little kid. Right. Or the Penn State guy. You probably can watch that, I think, if you have enough. If you have a monthly

subscription to her website. She's a very smart woman. She fucks smart kids. Is that what you're saying? She fucks only Asian kids? Yeah, like... She only fucks damaged kids that won't tell anybody. Right. Like, she wasn't fucking the kid from Jerry Maguire.

No, no, no. Who's... He's... It's a human headpiece. It bounce. Like, these little factoids. Did you know the vagina can be six inches deep? That's it. Wow.

Well, he's a kid. Guess I'm not as big as I thought I was. My penis is six inches. Really? Around. Oh, goodness gracious. Do you guys want to compare penises? I think the dickheads might like that. I think Michael Jordan's got a great one.

I'm going to put my penis on the table. Here we go. Ow! You broke my thumb. Great my penis on the table. Here we go. Ow! Broke my thumb. Great. You broke the table too. I'm going to put my dick on the table. It's giant. It makes really

weird noises. Did you realize you had a steel penis? Your dick sounds like a gremlin. Yeah, it was a war accident actually. A war accident? It wasn't even like an attack or something? You just happened to be at war? You just tripped?

I was in the bathroom and a frag went off and it kind of rattled me. You have the Pat Tillman of penises. My dick screamed out before it was dying. I'm Pat fucking Tillman. Which is a weird thing for my dick to say. At least you got the Medal of Honor. Yeah. If you guys don't get that joke, before Pat Tillman was killed by Fred.

The purple head. I think they could have got it without explaining. Let me break that down, big heads. I like to think of my penis as the butt to wire. Yeah, when I masturbate in front of people, that's kind of what it feels like. Let's only take a second. Mike, no. No. This could hurt someone.

Oh, fucking hell. All right, should we wrap this thing up? What? Bud Dwyer? My pure penis? Should we wrap this thing up? I guess we're going to have intercourse. I keep doing these visual gags.

Should we wrap this thing up? I think this looks good. Shut the fuck up, Mike. All right. Shut the fuck up. Let's take a break. All right. Then we'll come back and say our goodbyes and wrap this thing the fuck up.

All right. Wrap it up like a break. Alright. Then we'll come back and say our goodbyes and wrap this thing the fuck up. Alright. Wrap it up like a mummy. Fucking remix. Here we go. How much of it is good? A pedal to the... Oh shit. Oh, wow.

Wrapping it up. The sun goes down. I mean, the sun goes down on another digression session. Oh, yes. It's dusk here at the digression session. You mean like that movie, The Digression Sessions? That's exactly what I'm talking about. But, yes, all good things must come to an end

And this does too That was witty That was good That was Oh thanks guys Appreciate that We'll just end it there Just end it on a high note

Alright Bye I'm just kidding Let's not Let's wrap this thing up Like a tasty cake in cellophane Let's Let's end it on a depressing note like we normally do.

Let's wrap this up like a Hanukkah present. Let's wrap this up. The men that stare at goats. Good reference there. Slip that one right in seamlessly. Yeah, just like Jerry Sandusky just slipped it in seamlessly in that young boy's butt. That would have been funnier if it was a George Clooney reference.

Let's redo it. Like Jerry Sandusky slipped it. He was in Spy Kids? Jerry Sandusky was? No, George Clooney. Well, he probably was at one point or another. You really can't make a Michael Clayton reference.

Just try to shoot. Good joke, Michael. That was like clay tons of clay. How's it going? Amanda Kelly just got in. Uh-oh. Amanda Kelly in the house. Amanda Kelly in the house.

Where women belong. Am I right? Am I right? Well, Josh just stood up for that. Hell yeah. Wow. Women are inferior. Oh, yeah.

Hi, honey. No, can I have my wallet back, please? I love you. Thank you. She almost touched your genitals there. Yeah. Yeah. Oh.

Yeah. She's used to it. there. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. She's used to it. I feel like I just watched The Moment. Is that a George Clooney movie? No. The Moment. Tell me this summer. The only George Clooney movies we have as reference.

It only takes one moment. Oh, yeah. One day. One handsome man. Did I reference Burn after reading? Yes you did How about Fantastic Mr. Fox? No I don't think so

Good because that's the movie Jerry Sandusky Used to lure kids into his car I like Mr. Fantastic in that one Where he stretches That's intolerable cruelty Mike Moran. I guess we're just going to wait for the return of the killer tomatoes. He was in the return of the killer tomatoes. 1988, one and a half stars.

Wow. I never saw any of those movies. I never knew they made a live action one. Or was that first? Yeah. There's several movies. I only watched the cartoons. What were they? Were they tomatoes that had... Were they like humanoid tomatoes? Yeah, I don't know what happened. It was like a Ninja Turtle

situation where like some radioactive ooze got on some tomatoes. In the movies, what were they? Were they like big like claymation tomatoes or something? They probably had to use a ton of Michael clay. A ton of clay, Michael. I think you crossed the thin red line right there.

Ah, good one. You know, this has really been the perfect storm of good jokes. Oh, I can't believe we forgot the perfect storm. I need to get me an iPhone. I haven't seen that one. Now I'm not going to be able to tell. Casual conversation or George Clooney movie reference? Oh, that was my favorite George Clooney movie.

Casual conversation. Yeah, that was a good one. My favorite George Clooney movie was actually Schindler's List. All right, we were having a lot of fun here, Mike. Wow. And you just fucked it all up The good German Are you German Mike D'Anozzo?

No but George Clooney was in the movie The good German Let's talk about Michael Jordan He's a Nazi I think Michael Jordan has a Charlie Chaplin Not a Hitler. You know what?

After 1940, it's Hitler. He owned that shit. Yeah. All right. Well, Mike Fonazzo, what should the dig heads be on the lookout for, for all things Mike Fonazzo? You got MikeFonazzo.net. Yes. Where you document your stand-up gigs.

I'm not going to do that next Or 2012 Really Because I had What was that It's a long story That I'll tell you off the podcast Oh my god

But The creature fucked up your Don't worry We'll keep the microphones Yeah No it's a few things. I'm turning. The mics are off.

Oh, are the mics off? Here, I'll just click. All right. So we are off the air. We're going to keep it real. So what happened? Beep. Holy fuck.

Yeah. This is going so well and you fucking budge-wired it. Get dweier-fied. You people are crazy. You people? That was a good George Clooney stand-up, wasn't it? At the Apollo.

Yes. You people. You people are crazy. So yeah, what should the digheads be on the lookout for for all things Mike Fanazzo? Mike Fanazzo.net. I'm going to ignore you.

Space Jam. Space Jam 2. May a new bit from Seinfeld. He's the only one they can bring back. I'm going to headline High Tops backstage. They couldn't even get the Looney Tunes. Barn Grill. January 29th, 2000, Ocean's 12th.

That rooster's the only one that'll come back. They couldn't negotiate a contract with anyone else. He was just in a Geico commercial. Was he really? Yeah. Okay, sorry. Continue, Mike Canazzo. And CD recording March 4th. And check out all my episodes

of Digression Sessions. Hell yeah. Make these the most popular ones. Because you know what? They were the most interesting. They might not have been funny. They're interesting. They might not have been entertaining. Enjoyable. Just say exactly what they are. Hardly depressing.

They were certainly recorded voices. You know, they had ups and downs. Sure. They were. There were spectacles. They were never boring. No. No.

Sometimes, you know, it's interesting to watch a train wreck. Uh-huh. I love Super 8. It's a good movie. I can't imagine a time when it's not interesting to watch a train wreck. You know, I like watching train wrecks all the time. I guess there could be a really boring train wreck. I've been to every show the creature's done.

Speaking of, I'll be opening for him. Don't you think a lot of people just go to train shows because they want to see the train wrecks? Just a train going in a circle. Maybe that's why people have mini train sets. They're just waiting for it to go up. Do they make train sets that intentionally

wreck? Could you set up your train set so it goes to an exploding barn or something? That's a good question. Are we still recording? Oh, okay, good. I'll still try to be funny. Don't try. Do. So, I think it would be

funny if we bleeped out the creature like 80 times. And then at the end of the episode... Wait, bleep out who? Uh... What?! No, we'll bleep out every name.

Let's end this episode by saying fuck, and, we'll bleep out every name Except for, let's end this episode by saying Fuck And then we'll name a comedian But I think it has to be something ridiculous Alright Like Fatty Arbuckle Fuck Fatty Arbuckle Who's somebody everybody likes?

Dave Chappelle Everybody likes Louis C.K. You know what, no Everybody I love Dave Chappelle. Everybody likes Louis C.K. You know what? No. Everybody. I love Dave Chappelle. Everybody likes Dave Chappelle, but everybody loves Raymond. That's true.

Yeah, fuck Ray Romano. Fuck Ray Romano. You know who I love? Lucy. I love. Mike Moran. Huckabees. I definitely have. Uh-huh.

Can I get home? Alright, let's bring the energy up. Let's rally here. Let's get a hand in. Let's get a hand in. We're wrapping this thing the fuck up. Mike Fonazzo, that was awesome. We're going to MikeFonazzo.net every fucking day.

Yeah, man. Waiting for a motherfucking update. Mike Moran, what'snet every fucking day. Yeah, man. I'm waiting for a motherfucking update. Yeah. Yep. Woo! Mike Moran, what's up with you, my friend? Oh. Let's do a quick mic check again.

Nothing, really. All right. I think we have an improv show in D.C. on Saturday. Okay. Baltimore Improv Group show in D.C.? The first Population 6 show with the new lineup. Nice. Okay. Baltimore Improv Group show in D.C. Yes, the first Population 6 show with the new lineup. Nice. Nice.

And new choreographer, too, which is going to be great. The guy's going to have some killer dance moves. New bat boy. Ooh, that's good. That's important. Yeah. I heard he was highly recommended by Jerry Zandoski. And Hype Williams is actually directing.

Wow. Couldn't get McG, huh? No. Well, you know. I guess Michael Bay was busy again. All right. Yeah, and you'll be doing some stand-up around here, right? Working on some new-ish.

Possibly opening for the Mike Fonazzo. I'm definitely opening for the Mike Fonazzo. That's not what I heard from the Mike Fonazzo. Oh, really? You've been replaced by the creature. Wow. That's not what I heard from the Mike Finozzi. Oh, really? You've been replaced by the creature. You're on the, if Bud Dwyer calls out sick, you'll be added to the show, too. Bud Dwyer calls out dead. All right.

And me, myself, I'll probably have some improv shows coming up with the Baltimore Improv Group. I don't know when. I'll keep you posted on my Facebook. Oh, and we should start promoting the Polaroid Rage Noise in the Basement show. Yeah, it's in February. We've got a band show coming up. More details to follow. It'll be a kick-ass show.

Hell yeah. Oh, and Mike Fonazza, you have your open mic nights, right? Yeah, Sidebar, Tavern, every other Monday, January 9th. All right, so every other Monday, January 9th. It's going to continue into 2012. Yeah, we're actually... So it'll be like 2012, 2014. We are booked every other Monday throughout the year.

They're really happy with it. Awesome. Nice. And we're good for the next 12 months. All right, well, I'm going to put a lot of energy into thinking about going to those. You better be there. You're a funny man. Oh, thanks, Mike Panazzo. I lot of energy into thinking about going to those. You better be there. You're a funny man. Oh,

thanks Mike. I appreciate that. You called me a man as well. Uh, thank you for the time you came. You're great. You know, I love you.

Yeah, I'll be back. I will definitely be back. All right. Thanks. Dig heads. Uh, yeah.

And I just want to say thanks to everybody that's been, uh, subscribing, rating us on iTunes and leaving comments. That really helps us shoot up the comedy charts. And hopefully as more bigger-name comedians,

not that we don't like Mike Fonazzo, this guy, we're catching him on the way up. He's going to blow up. Other podcasts are going to be jealous

as shit of our podcast that we had Mike Fonazzo on. Yep. So we're going to kiss our asses other podcasts that don't exist yet. But yeah, keep the comments coming as well. And tell a friend, subscribe, rate us on iTunes if you haven't already.

I'd like to say hola to our listeners in Mexico. Achtung to those in Germany. And in China. Are you sure you should be listening to this? We don't want to get anyone in trouble. Yeah. So thanks. Thanks,

dig heads. Appreciate it. Bye bye. Thanks. Love you. Not you. All right. Let's do it. You really know how to lay it on the ones you can choose, huh? Yep. Mike Fonazza asked me a question.

A yes or no question. Do you like pie? Oh, yeah. That's tomorrow. And that is it for us today. Okay, I don't know. Whatever it is, it's not right on the teleprompter. I don't know what that is. I've never seen that.

No, there is. We are going to do Sting, yeah. Okay, but... I can't read it. There's no words on it. Okay. I mean, sure. There's no words there. To play us out. What does that mean? To play us out? Sting is going to do...

It's a video. Sting video. For credits. I don't know what that means, to play us out. What does that mean? To end the show? Yeah. Yeah.

All right, go. Go. In five, four, three. That's tomorrow, and that is a... In five, four, three. That's tomorrow, and that is a... In five, four, three. That's tomorrow, and that is it for us today, and we will leave you with a... I can't do it.

We'll do it live. We'll do it live! Fuck it! Do it live! I'll write it, and we'll do it live Fuck it Do it live I'll write it and we'll do it live Fucking thing sucks In 5, 4, 3 That's tomorrow

And that is it for us today I'm Bill O'Reilly Thanks again for watching We'll leave you with Sting and a cut off his new album Take it away And fuck Ray Romano.