The Digression Sessions - Ep. 181 - Josh Kuderna & Mike Moran w/ a Joe Martin Pop In!

Episode Date: February 21, 2016

Hola Digheads! We have a unique one today as it's mostly a Josh and Mike only sode, but our friend, but Joe Martin from the great band, 3rd Grade Friends stops by. Check out their tunes on their band camp page! Joe also tells us about smoking crack years ago right outside of DigSesh HQ! But, he's been sober 3 years now and crushing btw! Josh & Mike also talk about the new OJ show. Follow your boys, Mike & Josh, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.  Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram Mike - @MikeMoranWould on Twitter The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook For live stand up and improv dates, check out - DigressionSessions.com/Calendar Thanks for listening, all! Do us a favor and rate and review us on iTunes & Stitcher plz!

hey everybody i'm josh kaderna and i'm mike moran and you're listening to the digression sessions podcast a baltimore-based comedy talk show hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers. Join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence. As we interview local and non-local comedians, writers, musicians, and anyone else we find creative and interesting. Yes. Who's the guest this week? All right. No guest this week.

Just love between the two hosts. Yes. Me, Josh Kederna, my main man's. Mike Moran. Line. Got it. Mike Moran. Perfect.

Let's plug some things before we get into the episode here. Yes, let's. Yes, let's yes let's uh i want to say thank you to baltimore magazine for the nice little blurb up top that was nice if they were here i'm sure they'd say you're welcome oh good good so yeah shout out to them we were featured a nice little blurb in the uh february issue i was psyched i love seeing stuff like that yeah it was cool um so yeah let's plug uh let's plug some shows. I got some stand-up shows going on. March 3rd, I will be at Joe Square doing stand-up.

On the 4th, we got ourselves a mash-up show, Michael, where you'll be doing improv. I'll be doing stand-up. There are going to be three stand-ups total, three improv troops, and you better believe they're going to be improvising off of live stand-up. Yeah, that's right. It's illegal.

It's illegal, but we're going to fucking do it anyway. So be there. It's going to be Friday, March 4th, and it's going to be at the Ideal Theater on the Avenue here in Baltimore in beautiful Hamden. Sounds ideal. And then on the 5th, I'll be at the DC Improv engaging in the Comedy Kumite competition where I will vanquish my enemies and destroy them

and make orphans of their children. Just like an 8-mile? Yeah, exactly. I don't need a beat to do comedy. I'll provide the spaghetti. Thank you. You vomit on my sweater? Okay.

That's the most. That's how nervous I am. For me. No, just in general. I vomit on other people's sweaters. Just being in a public place with people, you know. Palms always sweaty. Always vomiting spaghetti.

Oh, I just thought of a new tweet. Somebody made a YouTube video, by the way, of that whole song, but of him just talking about mom's spaghetti. They made up like a new rap about spaghetti? out of the new tweet somebody uh somebody made a youtube video by the way of that whole song but of him just talking about mom's spaghetti like they made up like a new rap about spaghetti no they just edited it in a way that it seems like he talks about spaghetti the whole time like they they took his lyrics and just chopped it up wow it's like spaghetti i remember dave chappelle kind of doing something like that like where where he... Spaghetti, spaghetti. But yeah, no, this one, it's like, lose yourself in spaghetti.

It's pretty good. And yeah, follow us on Twitter and Instagram. I'm on both of those platforms, at Josh Coderna. And the podcast is at DigSeshPod. And check out digressionsessions.com slash calendar for all the details on shows and whatnot.

Michael, what do you got? I tried to jinx you there. Let's see. Well, follow me on Twitter at Mike Moran Wood, W-O-U-L-D. Right. Like, what would Jesus do? Exactly. He'd follow Mike Moran on Twitter.

You're damn right he would. Yeah. That guy had followers, but he would follow Mike Moran. He really didn't have that many followers. Like, if Jesus had Twitter back in the day, the Roman gods would have had way more followers than him. Oh, totally. He totally just like...

Yeah. And I'd like to think of myself like that. Like I have a small number of followers. Okay. But you better believe 2,000 years from now, people are going to be blowing up buildings in my honor. Absolutely. One can only hope, man.

Anyway, back to my dates. I will be at the Platform Arts Center on the 11th of March. Nice. I will also be at the Auto Bar on the 12th of March. Oh! I will not be performing at those.

I will just be there. No, I'll be performing. Just looking around. The 12th is the shit show. Nice. No, I'll be performing. Just looking around. All right. The 12th is the shit show. Nice. And then I'll be on some port side show on the 18th. Nice, nice. And all that stuff, like I said, will be at digressionsessions.com slash calendar.

So check that shit out. So, Michael, how are you? What's been going on? I don't know. I'm okay. I'm up and down. Yeah? I like your hair.

Did you get a haircut or is this just just just a greasy look um that's what i'm shower today oh and i've been sick so that's where i'm a real piece of shit like so you haven't showered in like days you're just going for this homeless yesterday but a guy like me needs to shower like several times a day uh-huh just to maintain yeah yeah um. But I've been good, I think. I don't know. It's hard to not. My whole life is just bordering on the precipice of misery all the time.

Uh-huh. And so I have to follow a very strict routine. To combat that. To just stay right above water. Uh-huh. And when you get sick, it just throws it all completely off. Yeah, yeah. So it's easy to slip into misery absolutely you just sneeze and you're like

here we go yeah yeah it's fucking over miss one trip to the gym you know like better get some day quill and work on this suicide note well well you look good man i hope i hope you stay alive thanks i hope so i sometimes hope so, too. Well, just for a little bit, if you want. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Hey.

Whoa. Wait. Who is this? What's going on? Who is SnuckInADigSeshHQ? I thought this was a guestless episode. Oh, my God. I was taking a tour of my old crack smoking route, and I wandered in.

Oh, my God. It's a Joseph Martin. It's a former crack smoking route and i wandered in oh my god it's a joseph martin it's a former crack smoking joseph martin wow how are you guys doing good you're lucky we set up a third microphone pal all right and had you said i would have i would have just been loud enough to just blare through banging on the window right i used to smoke crack here yeah i was on the stoop i was just like oh man hey this looks familiar did you literally smoke crack here. Yeah, I was on the stoop. I was just like, oh, man, hey, this looks familiar. Did you literally smoke crack on this block? Oh, yeah, I had a route.

I would drive around. I would go meet up with people in Hamden and go get stuff and then just drive around. Wow, that sounds like a pretty vivid, a pretty good social life for a crackhead. You know, it was, I had had a schedule but i'm much better now i'm i don't that's why i'm just kind of touring the old the old route you know just being able to deal with the memories just crack on the weekends now right and it's usually just me bending over and my pants being too loose yeah ass crack hanging out well that's for everybody well you know that's it is it is for everybody that's that's community service right there basically that might be a good zinger at an

na meeting too like the only crack i need is the crack in my ass these days people just scratching their necks like yeah me too man me too yeah so joseph martin of third grade friends the popular instrumental band, smokes crack? That is a hot take. Well, we're both clean and sober guys. Oh, okay. Used to smoke crack. Used to smoke crack.

Well, when I send it to TMZ, I'm going to edit the soundbite. I'm sure there's some stuff from back in the day where they'll be like, oh, yeah, we have this file footage from 2013. In a Hyundai Elantra. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you get sober before the advent of Facebook and all that? No. Oh, that's too bad. Well, hold on.

I'm so lucky. The first time I got sober was before that. Now, the second time. Well, I thought crackheads get sober once and then they're clean forever. Well, I mean, I'm a jack of all... I thought they find the right girl. I'm a jack of all addictions. And then it's all fine from then on out.

Yeah. Only thing I didn't do was crystal meth, so... Well, yeah, that's trashy, crystal meth. You know? Driving around smoking crack. That's, you know... You know, it's high... Instead of being in some little dugout, like...

Yeah. By myself, twitching. Yeah, yeah yeah just digging holes in the carpet basically yeah but no i'm sure when you smoke that carpet yeah i'm sure when you smoked crack you had your pinky out you know on that pipe pinkies up gentlemen uh all right so so i didn't know you uh got sober so are you sober now yeah nice okay because you don't appear to be uh december 9th congratulations because yeah we So I didn't know you got sober. Are you sober now? Yeah. Nice. Okay. Because you don't appear to be. Three years, December 9th.

Congratulations. Because, yeah, we used to play shows. I remember you having beer and stuff. Oh, yeah. I'd be all fucking coked up. Oh, you would be. I didn't know that. Yeah.

Yeah. I saw you sweating, but I thought that was from rock and roll. Well, I mean, I sweat anyway. Yeah. It's part of like a, you know. Being a human. Oh, God. Yeah just it's bad i used to play basketball as a kid and i would use my sweat as my defense oh because dudes like yeah they didn't

want anything i'd be like all right i want the ball yeah slide right off of yeah like the dinosaur that sprays the uh the stuff on newman yeah he was was the Velociraptor of basketball. No, that wasn't a Velociraptor. Oh, you're right. It was the fan neck. Old fan neck. You know what I'm talking about? From the Greek for fan neck. Yeah, exactly. Now, Joe, you got yourself a new band. Yeah.

You and a buddy called Third Grade Friends. Yeah. You do only Mission Impossible covers. And when did you guys meet? We met in third grade. Really? Yeah. I was going Mission Impossible covers. And when did you guys meet? We met in third grade. Really? Yeah. I was going to say fourth.

That was my guess. No, third grade. And we had drum class together in fifth grade. Rob's been playing drums, Robin Eckman. He's my pal. Shout out. He's my partner. Life partner.

Life partner. My hetero life mate. We had Mr. Starkey's drum class in fifth grade. Rob's dad plays drums. So Rob's been playing drums since he could hold drumsticks. Yeah, he's really fucking good, dude. Yeah, he's all, yeah. You know, at the end of our shows, I'm always going over and hugging him, and I'm whispering in his ears. I'm like, don't ever leave me.

Yeah, in the videos that I saw, like, most of the time you're just smiling like while you guys are playing like oh i love this i love it we screw up every once in a while and we're just like you know well with instrumental rock too there's so many parts and stuff and like transitions it's gonna it's gonna happen you know we started the band as like just shooting from the hip uh-huh it was spare parts from other bands yeah like our first show i had we had four songs all of them were like 10 to 15 minutes long and we played for 45 minutes i think that was like our first couple shows were like really long shows uh yeah and just improv most in most of them. Two hours go by. Yeah.

We played three songs. 30 minutes ago. Yeah. Yeah. If those guys ended 30 minutes ago, it'd be a great show. Right.

It'd be really good. Yeah. You know, I feel like that about some shows. Yeah. With comedy, for sure.

I feel that about virtually every type of performance art, honestly. Yeah. Yeah. I think it almost always goes on too long. Keep it tight. I'm more into With comedy for sure I feel that about virtually Every type of performance art Honestly Yeah Yeah I think it almost always Goes on too long Keep it tight

I'm more into a punch to the face And just dip out Absolutely Yeah Yeah I like that Yeah No reason to drag it on

Right Yeah Alright so you got You got an EP out Yeah What's it called Fortune Teller Whoa

Why Fortune Teller Because you know when you're a kid You hit the fortune tellers You know Oh the little like paper Right Yeah Pick a color Uh huh Not pick a number Uh huh And here's your fortune When you're a kid, you hit the fortune tellers. Oh, the little paper. Pick a color, not pick a number, and here's your fortune. You're going to die alone.

You're like, oh my God, who made this? Cheryl, you're a bad person. You're only nine. Why did you do that? I just wanted to be big. Yeah, what's your problem? So that's what it's based on, the little fold-out things? Yeah, yeah. Our original design was going to be

an actual fortune teller to put the CD in, but that's a lot of folding. A lot of paper. Yeah, a lot of paper, a lot of folding. A lot of work. Yeah, we just got our friend Joe Nisaka to do some artwork and just did that. Had that as our cover. cover nice the bear and the fox

i like it rob's in the foxes i'm kind of like a bear i'm kind of like a bear i like that yeah um furry lovable yeah like a chewbacca chewbacca sure hi grenades for months at a time right attacks leonardo dicaprio and the revenant right yeah yeah yeah it's raw fish out of streams yeah you should see joe catch salmon it's amazing just barehanded sushi right oh just rips into it so we're gonna play a song what song are we gonna play um dog ate my homework all right we're gonna play dog ate my homework you have any shows you want to plug yeah before we kick you out of the basement that you snuck into you son of a bitch sneak right back in oh no that's the thing that's the thing about us addicts man we can get right

back in we can just crawl we'll find a crack in the wall and just push our way in. God, a cracked up bear. What have we got ourselves into? You'll find a crack in the wall. Right. That's the only crack I need. I'm sure I've smoked some drywall before or even snorted some. Loaded up the ball with it. Just got buried behind the music.

Boiled it down and shot it. This is real rough. Chopping up lines of that drywall, you know? Shooting at your eyeballs. Oh, this burns! This burns! I said it's out of damn! It burns!

Burns! Wait a second, I don't feel anything. Except the... A lot of blood coming out of my nose. Yeah, sinus infection coming on. Yeah, so which shows you got? Anything you want to plug? We're playingary 27th uh at the metro gallery with joe

jack talcum of the dead milkman i don't know if you guys oh yeah uh-huh love love the dead milkman metro gallery here in baltimore on charles street lovely venue and then we're playing the 20 no the 30th at Velvet Lounge in D.C. Oh, okay. Cool. We've played music there, Mike. Have we? Mm-hmm.

When? Polaroid Raid Show. Wasn't that the Black Hat? No. No? Mm-mm. So I haven't played at the Black Hat? No.

Not to my knowledge. We'll get you in. Yeah, yeah. Get you in there. Yeah, because I just saw a documentary that featured the Black Hat? No. Not to my knowledge. We'll get you in. Yeah, yeah. Get you in there. Yeah, because I just saw a documentary that featured the Black Hat, and I said, I played there. That's fine. Yeah, it's not like people are like, wait a minute.

No, there's only one other person there. I think you can get away with that. Let's go back to their events calendar. Yeah, let's go through the years and years and years of bands that played there. All right, so, and then is the EP online? Can people check? EP's online at Bandcamp, Third Grade Friends at Bandcamp. Yeah.

However that works. Google it, Third Grade Friends, Band. If you do Third Grade Friends, you might get some creepy stuff. That's why you got to put the band next to it. Gotcha. Yeah, that is seriously i was looking at uh the youtube videos of you guys playing and the first recommended video was like i think in england and it said like third grader molested at school or something like that so

you're in a good mix it's like if you like instrumental rock you'll love this that's why i can never masturbate to the Suicide Girls. Because suicide's in there? Well, because you never know what you're going to get on Google Images. Well. When you put in the word suicide and girls. Hopefully titties. One way or the other.

Here and there, yeah. Yeah, sure, sure. And lots of Bud Dwyer. Oh, ripping his pants. But yeah, Joe, thanks for coming by, dude. Thanks for having me. It's fun to see you, man, because we used to play shows and Joe, thanks for coming by, dude. Thanks for having me. It's fun to see you, man, because we used to play shows and stuff, and now you're a dad and sober.

Look at you, crushing it. Getting my life back together. Crushing it. And I'm going to see you in June. We'll put together a little comedy show in Annapolis. Yeah, dude. So let's play some rock and roll for the kids, shall we? Yeah.

All right, so what is Dog Ate My Homework? Dog Ate My Homework. Here it is. Thank you. Woo! guitar solo We'll see you next time. Thank you. guitar solo so I'm out. We'll see you next time. That was Dog Ate My Homework by Third Grade Friends. Wonderful song. Absolutely lovely. I have a feeling those boys are going to go far. Possibly to the Metro Gallery this Wednesday. You think so?

I think they could well josh come on let's not be silly i know it remains to be seen but i believe in let's be optimistic but realistic absolutely but uh no i'm glad joe stopped by he's such a good dude yeah definitely even hung out for a little bit afterwards talking about life and sobriety yeah i'm happy for him man yeah i i was telling you in the kitchen but i love having friends like that like we i used to play in an instrumental band wilford brimley and uh we played some shows with his band back in the day different band and uh just kind of remained in touch uh through the internets and uh yeah they started working at this place metropolitan in annapolis and uh they book

uh shows and he's like well let's do some comedy now that i'm booking shows there and it's like fuck yeah nice it's just cool to like just stay in touch with cool people that are doing artistic shit like yeah like we used to play music together now he has another band and like can have him on the podcast so i like that shit yeah me too without sounding too lame like it's cool to have cool friends well i would say you crossed that line a while ago that's true i should just embrace it right now yeah no it's freaking it's uh it's been life-changing for me like just being immersed in the world of creative arts yeah well i guess all arts are creative because because the world of non-creative arts just sucked that was the worst people in cubicles painting by numbers.

Just O's and ones. Drawing that turtle that's in that commercial. You know what I'm talking about? No. You ever see it? It's like, are you an artist? And they'll send you like a pamphlet or something like that. And you have to fill it out.

Like, draw this turtle. And then you mail it back in or whatever. Yeah. It's like a turtle with one of those tax of those like taxi cab hats on why would you do that what is it just like you can draw a turtle too i think it was just to test your skill there might be other like testimonials like you know i never thought i could draw a turtle like that and now i'm really good at drawing turtles yeah it turns out just everybody can do it and then art institute's like fuck it shows like a montage of him like walking with his family through the park yeah you know yeah i just wanted to draw a turtle yeah or just some like new york goomba like yeah

i could draw a fucking turtle so i drew the goddamn turtle i'm an artist you know what i mean uh and then uh yeah i thought it was interesting that he mentioned like the neighborhood that i live in like oh i remember doing crack here. And then minutes before he got here, you were like, yeah, I remember taking a lot of good steps in this neighborhood. Yeah, I know. It was such a both sides of the spectrum thing. Yeah, that's kind of what it was for me. Just kind of part of my growing up was just like, you know what?

Screw it. kind of part of my growing up was was just like you know what screw it i'm not too good to to be like walking through a you know kind of sketchy neighborhood not so much your area but like further on yeah if you keep going north i don't know if it's north but i say i'm pretty sure it's south to me up is north right yeah uh i think it's more west actually listen mike i don't know we don't have a compass how can how can you tell well it's pretty west, actually. Listen, Mike, I don't know. We don't have a compass. How can you tell? Well, it's pretty easy to tell when you're north or south. There is a pretty easy way in Baltimore.

What are you, like a Google? You think you know everything? There's a white line that runs north to south in Baltimore. I don't think you have to bring race into this. I really don't think you have to bring race into this i really don't um but yeah so in this is like where you started to get like sober and stuff like that sort of it was just kind of like my uh i don't know like taking classes at bccc is as like you know as small of a step as that sounds like to me it was like just kind of me admitting like i've hit you

know like i just have to start from the very bottom you know i have to be humble and yeah you know it you know i'm living at my mom's house i'm walking to school in my shitty clothes you know i have like nothing god i wish we were doing an ad for bcc's here baltimore now you draw a turtle so i'm walking in my shitty clothes hi i'm mike moran for bccc but it was just like i could remember a couple years before that my mom took me to that campus to look around and i was like uh no and like this was me just kind of being like you know what this is what i can do right now this is what i can afford these are my options yeah i'm just gonna like do the best i can with this and then like yeah i realized like i could actually get good grades yeah and uh

you know it's just like i'm gonna i'm just gonna go there you know it's like if i get robbed while walking there then so be it you know i'm just gonna fucking do it anyway did you ever get robbed uh not no not going to school. Okay. All right. I did witness a bunch of kids beat the shit out of a gas station owner and steal chips and sodas and stuff. Well, it sounds like it was worth it. Right. Now, Michael, we don't know what that gas station attendant did to deserve that. That's true.

That's true. He probably was like, you have to pay for those. Right. Which is not nice. Capitalist pig. Yeah, exactly. Standard. Which is not nice. Capitalist pig. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. One percenter piece of shit.

Yeah. Right? Thinks he's hot shit because he works at an Exxon station. Yeah. I'm tired of those people. I really am. Elitist mustache. Yeah.

Selling his pipes for tobacco. We know what those pipes are for. Yeah. Tobacco. Apparently at gas stations too it's like you can basically just buy speed there as well like you know all those like really yeah or or basically like speed and then um uh sort of like just generic viagra oh yeah yeah i bought that before yeah does that work uh it's a crapshoot it's a crapshoot sometimes it totally does sometimes it's bullshit yeah because i i heard that basically the fda tries to regulate that stuff

and so they'll like shut somebody down yeah but then it's just so easy just to open just another one up right and just right flood the market yeah and you can order it pretty easily online from like canada and stuff even still like yeah today yeah i would totally just buy it legally but it's it's just like super expensive because there's i guess it hasn't been out long enough for there to be a generic oh what boner pills yeah what yeah well you know how like it's been around for a long time yeah but you know how there's like a patent for like 20 years or something like if you create like something miraculous which i'm not sure is fair or not i mean i guess it kind of is like if you create something and then like a million other people just copy your

idea you spent years and years well there's um i don't know i saw something on that recently about uh copyright law in public domain and how disney really fights that oh yeah which is course and there's a bunch of people saying how fucked up that is and it actually kind of robs the culture of art because so much art is influenced by stuff that came before it and sort of right not so much like stealing but like a reference to something or like drawing something in a style that you can like flip it and then that like evolves into other stuff yeah yeah and disney's really fighting that and a bunch of people are really mad because not because they're like i want to fucking make a mickey mouse t-shirt but like just everything that's out there like movies you know their cartoons and stuff is taking away from

future art you know what i mean so what they're like going after people that are being influenced by their art so there are basically like the laws you're talking about where it's like after x amount of years right this enters the public domain right they keep fighting it in court for their properties and like re-up it yeah but that's like i mean i can understand if they they don't want to like other like anybody can make a mickey mouse cartoon or something that's like different than people just like being influenced by their but But I think it's more than that. Like they just go, they're like everything. Right.

It's just like a blanket thing. Yeah. I've heard pretty soon in Britain, the Beatles will be public domain. Oh. And so like there'll be all these like shitty like compilation Beatle albums. Yeah. At the gas station and stuff. I wonder how.

Yeah. Boner Pills, a tobacco pipe, and... Captain Peppers. Captain Peppers. Captain Peppers rubber... Sponge hose. Yes. Wait, what?

Sponge hose? What is Captain Peppers? I was doing like a generic Sergeant Peppers. Yeah, I was just... Did you think I was making up a Viagra name? I was doing like a generic Sergeant Peppers. Yeah, I was just... Did you think I was making up a Viagra name? I was just making up... No, I was just making up Beatles stuff. I was just trying to riff with you.

I was thinking like Sponjos, like a sponge penis. Rubber hose. Firm hose. It's like Captain Pepper says the name for viagra captain peppers show her a good time make sure you're at full mast you'll get yeah you'll have quite the hard boner make her rub your barnacles um fuck i forgot what i was i forgot what i was gonna say um yeah no i haven't fucked with the gas station boner pills seems like it's it's just not worth

it like i feel like it'll fuck up my heart or something like um you know well do you have boner issues at all ever no well then don't worry about it okay yeah well some people say like even if you don't it just makes it like more intense probably but i mean you know i think like really like a good trip to the gym kind of has the same effect it's all about just getting the blood flowing okay and plus they make you feel weird too like there's it's not without uh kind of a hangover yeah uh our old friend my old roommate uh paul uh paul uh who was uh into the sex oh yeah into it he he said niacin makes your skin really sensitive and apparently that's supposed to help with like sensitivity of sex really but he took like way too much once because he really

wanted to feel it of course and uh he turned into powder yeah well like he basically i think he said his skin was just really itchy and he was red for a long time because it makes your skin sensitive so i think he took so much like almost like overdosed on niacin basically wow um yeah it kind of like gives you a headache and like kind of makes you feel a little weird yeah but the boner you get yeah worth it well for someone like me who's like you know i've been on medication so long that like it's always been a source of anxiety you know like right well i get a boner well and i get a boner uh it's kind of fucking awesome it's kind of renaissance to my sex life

to some degree the the will you or won't you or the pills the pills yeah okay all right it's all you're saying like that's i'm on I'm on a thrill ride, man. I'm on the edge. Like, will I or won't I get a boner? I don't know. That's the exciting part. I don't know, man. Gambling, man.

Yeah. Tossing the dice. I don't fucking know. Got to know when to hold them, know when to bone them. Yeah. Paul was, he was a weird roommate. Yeah. We were talking off air about uh roommates yes and uh

this made me think of paul like he was uh so we knew him from paper moon which we all worked together at the diner and uh paul was just like a one-of-a-kind dude like he's a character like six foot plus bald had the septum piercing. Yes. Tattoos on his skull. Yes. Not his skull, but his head. I assume the ink runs to your skull. Yes. But yeah.

And corresponding tattoos on the tops of his feet. Oh, really? Yeah, it was like kind of a, it was a package. Yeah, it's like clouds. Head in the clouds. Head in the clouds. On the ground or something. Gotcha, gotcha.

So I don't know what the ones on his feet were, but I assume they were in open fields. Just dirt. Yeah. So he was always kind of eccentric, but cool, always so nice. I remember hanging out after a shift. You go to somebody's house, restaurant style. Sure. And it's like, let's go have eight or nine beers.

Sure. And so we're hanging out. And I think we were talking about acid. Andul's like oh i love doing acid and uh i was like yeah i just heard that like recently if you do it just like a handful of times it just alters your brain chemistry forever because the the amount of like neurons that are firing like burnout synapses and just you know kind of change your your whole brain chemistry and his eyes got real big and he was like rubbing his head and just kind of like staring and i was like what and he's like i've done a lot of acid i was like like how many times and he just like he was like

staring through the wall and then he just stared at me and he's like like 200 i was like oh my god yeah i i don't know i i feel like that's kind of an old wives tale. Like the old, if you do it eight, I remember always hearing if you do it eight times, you're considered legally insane or something. No, no, no. No, like I heard Dr. Drew say this. Like it's not like, hey man,

if you do it 19 times, you're gonna, yeah. Like you won't be able to close your eyes the rest of your life. Like, no, it's just, no. Like, I like i mean maybe maybe the science wasn't in on it but i trust him when he says like it makes sense that it would change your yeah i i honestly feel like uh one of my experiences doing shrooms may have like permanently affected me yeah i i've only done it twice maybe like two and a half kind of but like both times had like profound effects for sure

yeah that it was and when I was doing it I was like why don't I just do these like once a month and then then like

you get to the precipice of like reality versus perception and all that stuff and you're like I survived I'm okay that's alright

I don't do this too often did you know Bill Wilson did acid well into his sobriety? Founder of AA. Yeah. If you say, are you a friend of Bill's, that's him.

Why was he doing acid? There was a movement kind of in the 50s or early 60s where people were treating depression with it. Oh, okay. They still kind of do that. Yeah. They'd run, like Johns Hopkins does experiments with like mushrooms and depression and stuff like that. Yeah. And like psilocybin.

Yeah. Why did I not know about those when I was 20? Yeah. Our friend Doug Powell had a great bit about that, like being a professional mushroom taker, essentially. And he's like, it'd be great too because I can go back to my high school reunion. And he's like, oh, hey, how you doing, Ted? What do you do? Oh, Wall Street?

Oh, that's cool. Me? I professionally take mushrooms. And he's like, how much money do I make? I don't know. I've taken so much mushrooms, I don't understand money as a concept anymore. He's talking about his job. It's like you go in, you clock in.

Like, hi, carol how are you all right well i'm gonna take mushrooms i'll be crying in the corner for the next eight hours and uh that'll be the day fills up the coffee yeah exactly did you guys see lost last night yeah man ncis new orleans is really heating up yeah really it's weird though like i've come to the conclusion with like drugs and alcohol like yeah it's almost all just trying to get back to like when i was four years old like i just want to feel like i did at that age like when i took shrooms i remember i was like the first time i like really did it i was like yeah okay this is perfect i feel like everything's exciting and fun

and fresh yeah like i don't feel wasted you know no it's weird that yeah you feel altered but present right at the same time like you're aware that you're altered and your stuff's just exciting and you're like yeah this is amazing yeah yeah no i that's how i felt i remember i was we were on my roof uh me and my girlfriend at the time and just like staring at the sky right the sky was like all these colors and i could see like i don't know the stars were reflecting in this crazy way like i don't know just feeling like just generally happy right i saw why can't we just be five years old forever like well we got to build a society michael they're like why can't you just feel like that you know like it's okay to like grow up and

be mature and not be like a dumbass kid but yeah why can't we just feel i remember just like waking up in the morning and just like being like so excited to go play with crap and like yeah just do anything like the fact that you're just awake and outside you're like this is good yeah this is pretty good that's kind of how dogs are dogs they're excited all the time you know what i mean like you're like you want to go outside they're like fucking yes of course and then when you're outside they're like let's go let's go this is fucking great yeah yeah i um yeah i don't know man so like i yeah when i did mushrooms too like the second time i was kind of going through a little bit of a depression so it wasn't as fun but there were still some really really cool visuals that one i saw like stars like

kind of like raining down and then kind of get frozen which was really cool i don't think i ever saw visuals on mushrooms oh i totally did really totally did um yeah i had a bad experience the last time i did i mean i think that's the one that fucked with me yeah where i was already feeling like shit and i thought it would make me feel better yeah i think you got to be in a pretty good headspace and then like with people that have a positive vibe as well yeah that was actually around here too we like kind of walked around this neighborhood uh sort of like down towards uh you know hamden uh-huh uh kind of near liola and stuff we kind of just walked around right like my psyche just like crumbled oh my god but then i like i woke up and i like had the most clear vision.

I don't know. It was really weird. I had this horrible trip, all these horrible thoughts. My friend was being obnoxious and crazy. I think I actually punched him in the face at one point. Whoa. Yeah. While tripping?

Yeah. That had to be an intense experience. We were in my mom's house. You just see his face just shatter into like a million cubes. Oh, my God. Yeah, we were in my mom's house, and he wouldn't shut the fuck up. My mom was upstairs. She kept being like, Mike, Mike, what do you think about?

What do you think about? And I think I eventually grabbed him and was like, shut up! Shut up! And I remember we- It turns out he didn't say anything at all. He was just sitting there in silence. Shut up! And we...

I remember we were like watching TV and like it seemed like everything was like horrible. Like it was... I was like, was there like another terrorist attack or something? It's like every channel seemed like people dying. God, dude. Explosions and... What?

Yeah, it was so weird. And I had this like horrible like... Like not not a visual but like in my head i couldn't stop thinking of this like nude beach with like families having sex with each other jesus christ yeah there's no limit to what your brain can fucking do like i had a dream this morning where Hillary Clinton got in trouble because when she boarded a plane, she pointed to where people sit and coach. And she was like, that's where poor people sit. And they kicked her off the plane. Like she's 11 years old. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah like she was like when you board you can either cut

left to go to first class or like go to the other side and she was just like like thumb like you know kind of like side eye like that's where the poor people sit and they kicked her off the plane also like she would be on a public plane you know right yeah it's just like why am i dreaming about that shit i know it's like what is come on psyche yeah better than that yeah i guess i don't know i mean i guess because you know there's a ton of political shit like floating around and uh dude i i don't know how i ended up on her fucking email list either but she is fucking incessant really yeah and there's no unsubscribe it's just like what how is that possible it's just like would you like less emails and it's no unsubscribe. What? How is that possible? It's just like, would you like less emails?

And it's like, yeah. How can you not block it or mark this spam? I guess I can mark him as spam. Maybe I should do that. You just feel bad about it? Well, also, too, all of her emails, the subject line is like, we used to date. It's just like, Josh, I need you.

I have the same thing with O'Malley, weirdly. Yeah, yeah. Michael, it's very important. Yeah, yeah. One of them was like, Josh, dinner? Question mark? What is this? And then you open it up and it's like a photo of her in a negligee holding a champagne glass.

Yeah, exactly. It just keeps getting worse and worse. It's all that stuff. When the stuff came out about her being a corporate shill, It was like, Josh, I know I can do better. Really? Did she take like the dominoes route of like, look, I screwed up in the past. Yeah. Look, I know my pizza was shit.

All right. That's so weird. But now we have garlicky crust. Right. And it's very good. Very good. Dude, I freaking had like a phantom knock on my door the other night. It was really creepy.

Oh. Yeah. Ghost knock. You don't. Yeah, I'm a veteran door. You don't believe in ghosts though, right? No. No. But it is like, number one, I'm obsessed with ghost stories even if I don't believe in them. Yeah, it's interesting. And two, fucking everybody I know has one.

Like every smart, intelligent, intelligent realistic person i got one has at least several yeah i've told it on the show a bunch of times but yeah that box flying in the the room was yeah still unexplainable yeah to me yeah yeah it's really fucking my mom has a she actually uh colligan has a really good one yeah he does colligan's terrifying yeah do you do you remember enough of the details to tell that? Yeah, I think it was, he was, I think there's a bunch of little things around the house. Yeah, but then he actually saw one. Right, right. Well, first it was like his Gabe.

Okay, so like he, yeah, there's like a bunch of little weird things. And then one night I think somebody opened his door. Yeah, and he saw a figure coming towards him yeah and a man like in a hat and he couldn't move timey yeah so it sounds a lot like a night terror but yeah but then the hat that he described it turned out to be like the great grandfather that lived there and like the woman that sold in the house or whatever and she was like how do you know that right yeah and like it would all like the the that sold in the house or whatever. And she was like, how do you know that? And like it would all, like the activity would act up around

when his black gay roommate was around. Oh, wow. And like it turned out like the grandfather was like kind of racist and homophobic. Yeah, wasn't there weird shit too? Like the tub would just be on and stuff like that? Yeah, I think there was some, there was some like wrap,

there was some like conclusion to it where like somebody told him like, fill up the tub. It's like a, like water's a sign of peace with the ghost or something. Oh, okay. Okay.

It's a really good story. Yeah. It probably is, you know, sleep terrors or what do they call it? Sleep paralysis. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Into a night terror. Back to Paul, speaking of ghosts and flooding. Ghosts, yeah. Back to Paul, speaking of toves and flooding. Ghosts.

Ghosts, yeah. Yeah, he never existed. So when it was me, me and Amanda lived with Paul, and Paul at the time was like 40-something, and we agreed no smoking in the house. At the time, Amanda smoked. She still smoked outside. And Paul smoked a ton ton and he was like oh

yeah no i'll smoke outside um and i was working at ssa so i would like come home with my tie on and i'm like 25 and i'd be like smells like cigarettes in here you know like and then i'd have to go upstairs and like bang on like the door of my 40 like he was my son i'm just like paul you smoking in there you're like no you're like putting it out and like so it would just be stuff like that like where our kind of relationship kind of deteriorated because stuff like that yeah i've had so many roommates like that but there was one time um where we were uh amanda and i were in the kitchen and uh water started dripping from the ceiling we're like like, what the fuck is going on?

So I went up to Paul's room. He has music blaring. And again, I feel like the father just like, hey, what are you doing? Turn it down. What's going on? Because his room was right above the kitchen where we both, each room upstairs had its own bathroom. So I was like, oh, something must be flooding up there. And he wouldn't answer the door.

And then I came back downstairs like, he didn't answer the door. And Amanda's like, well, go and just open the door. And I was like, all right. So the music's blaring. I try to open the door. There's a towel in front of the door. Again, like a 17-year-old, like, dad can't know I'm smoking.

Put a towel at the bottom of the door. So I push that aside. And there's like a little, like, tiny sort of hallway. So when you open the door, you can't really see the room. You have to, like, move kind of left. And then his bathroom, you could see at the end of the room. So I open the door. There's, like, smoke everywhere.

And I could hear the shower was on. the door there's like smoke everywhere and i could hear the shower was on so there's steam and smoke and music's just blaring i was like paul paul like just yelling it like i'm pissed at this boy like paul and as i get closer to the bathroom he has the door open and uh he just had to shower in there like there's no tub and i just saw his feet in the doorway like his legs and i was just like oh fuck paul is dead and like the shower was on and his legs like so water's just everywhere and i'm like holy shit i think paul's dead so i didn't want to see a body by myself so i was like amanda i went down it's just not as fun alone yeah it's like i wanted to share in the moment

and it's like drinking yeah let's enjoy the moment. It's like drinking alone. Yeah, let's enjoy the trauma together. You know you have a problem when you're looking at bodies alone. It's all I could do, you know. All day I was just looking at bodies. Yeah, so I went and got her. And then when we went back up, I opened the door. He's like, what? What?

And I was like, dude, are you okay? He's like, yeah, I'm fine. What do you mean? Were his legs still poking out? No, I't see him like i think he like got up but i'm pretty sure he just turned the shower on and like fell asleep and just like laid there and then water was just fucking everywhere wait fell asleep lying on the bathroom floor yeah so it was like a stand-up shower um and i think like the ridge of it was like as far as the it wasn't a lay down shower no it was like a stand-up shower, and I think the ridge of it was as far as the... It wasn't a lay-down shower?

No, it was not a lay-down shower, but somehow he made it. It wasn't one of those vertical showers that just sprays? No, no. It was not. I mean, horizontal. Yeah, it was not a horizontal shower, but yeah, it was the weirdest fucking experience. And he just acted like nothing was going on. He's like'm fine like okay dude well just turn your shower off i feel like the last time i you told the story you concluded that is he was like lying there with his face in

the water like spraying into his face yeah i think he was like laying and it was just like hitting his chest and his face i think he even had a pillow in there really because i think amanda went in the room like a couple days later because she was really freaked out like what the fuck's going on in there and went in and like he had a pillow in there like so i can see how that might be gratifying sure but it's also all over the bathroom like he's not in a tub like it's fucking you know did it like fuck up the house at all i mean it seems like kind of a permanent damage type yeah it kind of happened again because i think i think it fucked up the grout and like there was so much water that it broke down the grout and then that's how it got in so yeah gotta watch out for that grout hey watch out for the

grout yep this week on the digression sessions dude i hope i don't have to like become a weird eccentric now that i'm like an old starving artist you know uh-huh like does that mean i have to like grow like a stupid beard and yeah you fucking like dress like it's the 30s or something yeah just get like a poncho and a bunch of cats i don't want to do that you know well you better start growing that beard just in case grow it out out. All right, let's wrap up here. Before we wrap up, though, I'm watching a television show currently, Michael. Are you? It's about this fictional character, O.J. Simpson.

And it turns out he... Based on Cuba Gooding Jr. Yeah, exactly. No, the FX show, the OJ show. I don't know what's in it. I've watched it as well. Yeah, are you current on it? I saw the first two.

Okay, there's been a third. Okay. I think I'm going to wait for Sue to watch. Okay. The Kardashian references in it are so shoehorned. That was the first thing Sue and I both, actually, no, I have seen episode three. Okay, so let's just talk about,

I think it's, maybe it's the second one, maybe the first one, I don't know. But the juice, and there had to be a bet between the writers about how many times we can write juice. Like, everybody's like, hey, juice, juice. And even, they're like, that's like hey juice juice right yeah and even even they're like that's your uncle juice yeah um so so david schwimmer plays papa kardashian who is like apparently like like best friends of all time with oj i had no idea they were so tight juice you couldn't have

done this juice right but so him of course being kardash, he is the father of the Kardashian clan. Sure. And the KK. Yeah. The shows, the writers, I don't know what it is, but like they're like nod to the current Kardashians through the Kardashian children in the show is so creepy to me. Yeah. It's like, why creepy creepy because they're little girls no because well kind of but like they're kind of exploiting current day kardashian stuff for

this show that was about people that were actually murdered right i don't know it's it's um so like the the one scene in i think the second episode oj uh is going to kill himself because he finds out he's going to go to jail they're going to come arrest him and he was hiding out at robert kardashian's house right and oj was staying in a room and and robert kardashian comes into the room oj has a gun to his head and he goes no don't do this in kimmy's room and kimmy is the, of course, like, let's go to Chloe's.

Like you, yeah, if you're going to kill you, please do it in Chloe's room. Come on, Juice. We all hate Juice. You know,

we all hate Chloe. Even now that she's seven, we hate it. But I just like, every time they do stuff like that, they're like, you know, Kimmy,

like Kim Kardashian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Looks towards the camera. Yeah, exactly. Like slow zoom in.

You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I remember like when the first scene with them, it was like, Kim, Khloe, get over here. Yeah, exactly. And they're like, hee hee. That's the weird thing about documentaries or like, you know, docudrama type of. Based on true events. They always have to throw in, like whenever they do a Billy the Kid movie, they always have to find a way to remind you that the sheriff that arrested him also wrote Moby Dick weirdly or something. Okay.

Or like the governor at the time or something like that. Right, right. So he's just like at a desk like, and he killed the whale. Yeah. Ah, Moby Dick. My book that I just finished. to arrest billy the kid yeah totally yeah yeah i just can't you got punched that's shit funny what was it like in what in straight out of compton yeah ice cube right like you got knocked the fuck out governor lou wallace is typing it like well you got knocked out whale yeah captain ahab

uppercuts you got knocked the fuck up uh yeah okay so it has stuff like that and then it i think in one episode too they have the kids like spell out their last name they're watching oh yeah they're watching their dad on tv and of course they have to really drive the point home that nobody knew who a kardashian was and uh the press is like uh who are you he's like i'm robert kardashian like uh robert kardovian or whatever and then like and then it cuts to the little kardashians watching it at home and they're like it's not that hard k-a-r and then like spell it out and then like kardashian kardashian like oh yeah dude another thing i noticed with that isn't there a scene where they're like we're kardashian yes

that's the biggest offender so far with season i mean episode three right uh robert kardashian at this point has a little bit of fame because he's been on tv very high profile case he's best friends with the juice and we're gonna be going to be on the team as a lawyer. So he has the kids. He's got all the Kardashians. There's Khloe, Ricky, Marsha. I don't know their names. Khloe.

I think there's a Robert Kardashian junior. Anyway, it's the four Kardashian kids. Snoop. Yeah. They're at a, so they go out to brunch for Father's Day, and they go to a pretty fancy place. Long line. And Robert Kardashian lays it down to say, like,

ooh, I don't know if we're going to get a table. David Schwimmer playing Robert Kardashian, by the way. And it's like, it's very busy. I don't know if we're going to get a table. And then he goes to the hostess and is like, oh, can we get a table? And they're like, oh, my God, it's you from TV. And so right this way, sir. So the kids are like, wow, dad, are you famous?

And he has this big, like he has this very concerned look. He's like, hey, we're Kardashians. What we base our lives on is being good to people, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, like, fame is fleeting. And I was like, oh, this is so gross. You don't know that any of this happened. This is supposed to be based off of a book. And it's like, you don't know that Robert Kardashian took his kids out on Father's Day

and warned them that fame is fleeting. They probably just did some study where they realized they'd get a whole new demographic if they included people who are into the Kardashians. Exactly. There's just so much of like, eh? Right? You know what we're talking about, right?

And the thing is, they are obsessed with fame. Right. Yeah, I could just see stupid people at home just being like, oh, I get that. That's very ironic. i know who they're talking about but i just yeah it was just gross it was like a weird hollywood snake eating its tail like yeah but uh okay so what about like when they do that in movies or shows like we're kardashians yeah that's not the kardashian way yeah like when does that ever happen in real life you know like my dad's ever like look guys we're morans and what morans do is we're not going to arby's we're morans

morans are better than that we're an olive garden family we support a strong family legacy you understand that of fry holsters um fry holster look josh Josh, I know you're a Katerna, and the Katernas are a bold people. Yeah, we love a fry holster. All right, let's wrap this up here. Thank you to everybody for listening. Mike, I had a pleasure hanging out, buddy. Thank you.

You too, man. Yeah, so come see us live. We got dates up on digressionsessions.com slash calendar. Make sure you check out Joe's band with his buddy Rob, third grade friends. Very cool stuff. It's on Bandcamp. They got some cool shirts, too, which Joe was nice to give us a couple.

Thank you, Joe. He's a sweetheart. It was fun hanging out with him. So, yeah, follow us on Twitter and Instagram. I'm on both of those, at Josh Coderna. Mike's on Twitter. At Mike Moran Wood. Boom. And the podcast is at Dig Kaderna. Mike's on Twitter. At Mike Moran Wood. Boom. And the podcast is

at Dig Sesh Pod. And write and review the podcast on iTunes or Stitcher if you're nasty. We got a Facebook page. Like it. Say hello. And yeah, we appreciate the hell out of you guys. So again, thanks for listening. And David Koechner, take us out.

Dig Russian Sessions coming to an end. Thank you.