The Digression Sessions - Ep. 197 - Labor Day w/ Josh & Finazzo

Episode Date: September 5, 2016

No guest?! No problem! Josh and Finazzo have a lovely labor convo about comedy, pooping, and of course race relations in America. Fun talk!   Follow the podcast, Josh Kuderna, and Mike Finazzo on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.  Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram Mike Finazzo - @TheeMikeFinazzo on Twitter The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on iTunes & Stitcher plz!

Thunder Grunt Podcast Network Let's find out how we're doing on the podcast. Yeah, let's come in hot. Coming in hot. Let's find out while we record this coming in yeah yeah it's all discovered together hey no guests this week ah do you want to talk about who we almost got again let's let's go through it one more time i don't think it's as exciting as previous episodes because we got a little lazy with the booking uh-huh chris rocks still not

gonna do yeah obama still won't return our tweets joe biden keeps asking we're like chill joe yeah chill joe and we know it's a big fucking deal but back off yeah i would love to interview that guy i think we determined that's our dream guest so i'm into that if anybody out there knows joey b holler at him yeah yeah i want that blue hen actually did he go to delaware i don't know no because laura went to delaware we have a bunch of friends that went to Delaware, and I'm sure that would be all over every alumni mail we get. That's true. That's true. But yeah, she says that she knows a few people that know of him

or are somewhat tied to him just because he was always around in Delaware. Yeah, and he's been a senator there for so long that I'm sure he's been to that campus, at least for the parties. Right. Score some pills or something uh okay yeah so it's just uh me josh kaderna my my good friend my co-host mike finazzo hey joshua hi uh sitting in my my lovely living room just catching up yeah i'm sipping some tea i feel like we're more casual in the living room it's a little more laid back yeah i mean yeah we we've got uh i've got a candle lit you know we got one light yeah air conditioning feels good incense

we got some vibes falls rolling in which is nice you know yeah um uh so yeah uh just us on the podcast and uh i was hanging out with uh k parents today. How'd that go? And it was fine. Played guitar with her dad, which was fun. See, like I can play guitar fine, but when people are like, play me a song, and I'm like, one of mine? You want to hear the beginning to Everlong?

I just don't know too many just songs. I don't know. Do you want to play the beginning to enter sand right um so hear me doodle around i could do that yeah exactly like why don't you play something and i'll just try to solo and noodle and uh and so we did that for a bit which was which was really fun and uh he was showing me some stuff and uh i forget what song we were playing but it basically had like a uh like started with a d chord and then moved up the fretboard with like inverted like that that shape of the chord right right so

yeah it's what i call the the d highway you just go right down the d high like okay yeah and uh but so he listens to podcasts too because uh i was like yeah i gotta go and i'm gonna go do a podcast with uh my friend Mike. And he's like, well, who's going to be on? I'm like, nobody. So then we got started talking about podcasting. He's like, you need to have a guest. They just get self-indulgent, these podcasts.

Like the Bill Simmons podcast. And I was like, oh, I like that one. He goes, it's terrible now. I was like, that's the only reason I'm excited about football season is because Cousin Sal's going to be on. Yeah, I love those podcasts. But yeah, he he was like it's just he's not edited now he's just just talking to his friends and i'm like well that's pretty much what my podcast is so oh shout out to karen's dad you might want to tap this one out bobby yeah yeah you've made it he's like i'd much rather listen to a good 20 minutes than an okay hour. And I was like, well, again, you're not going to like this podcast. Meanwhile, I got a lot of time to kill, so I'll take a shitty hour.

Oh, yeah. I listen to those types of podcasts all the time. I mean, Greg Fitzsimmons was on the Joe Rogan podcast, and I'm pretty sure it didn't talk about anything of substance for like three hours. Right, right. I listened to all of it. Yeah. The thing with Joe Rogan's podcast is like even if they're just talking about nonsense, talk about anything of substance for like three hours right i listen to all of it yeah the one

thing with joe rogan's podcast is like even if they're just talking about nonsense it's always really engaging yeah and i i mean basically i'd rather just listen to that than not listen to anything right right you know oh like if i'm doing shit around the house i'll listen to people just yammer like when i'm doing paperwork at the office like i really do run out of podcasts because like i get between like driving for all the shit we do right and then just like being being able to listen to podcast at work like there's times we're like man i wish i had more four hours i know yeah whenever yeah whenever people are like man we're like two hours in uh so yeah let's plug some stuff

if anybody's even listening like i am i totally am uh so yeah so that's plug some stuff if anybody's even listening. Like, I am. I totally am. So, yeah, so that's what this is. This is going to be a nice little fuck around fest. 2K16. Yeah, we've got plenty to fuck around with. Oh, plenty. So much. What have you been up to? So much.

Okay, good, good. I've been listening to a lot of podcasts. Oh, cool. That's so cool, man. Well, let's actually do plug some stuff uh in the fuck around fest uh the only thing uh i have this week this thursday i've been plugging it i will be at the 13.5 wine bar now josh is that the show you're doing with chris lamberth wow mike yeah how did you know that i think well because we've been plugging it for several weeks now but yeah

are you i think like you're gonna open, do like a half hour, tight 30. Then you're going to bring up our buddy, Petey Steele. Yeah. And then Chris Lambert from New York is going to come up and straight up crush it. Just straight up murder it. Yeah. We don't know how much it costs, but it's going to be worth it. I think it's a little expensive.

I think it's like 15 bucks, which is a lot. Well, all right. So I'm not going to go to that one, unless you can get me in for free. But I might be able to. We'll still be good. I might be able to. But yeah, be good. I might be able to. But yeah, they've been advertising. It's a wine bar.

Their clientele might make a little money. Get a little Chateau Lafitte. Get a few dick jokes. There it is. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So yeah, that. And then the Thursday after, I will be at the DC Improv open mic on the 15th, which is nice.

Yeah, I hit up Antoine. I was like, like hey i'd like to do the mic if you know if you whenever there's a open spot and i know like i emailed him and sent him something on facebook and i know he's bombarded all the time and he's like how about the 15th and i was like fucking hey right yeah i thought it was going to be like a few months or something so he's a very nice man i'm sure oh yeah he hooks up good comics yeah he was great so just a great dude and he's he's good at his his yob he's good at his job then he's good at his job that's how they talk on narcos

which i've been watching uh yeah and uh let's see i don't think i've heard anyone say yob on that show cocaine asked me yob for those keeping score at home it got racially insensitive four minutes take a shot yeah uh and uh let's see yeah so that that's i don't know usual plug shit uh follow me on twitter and instagram at josh kaderna the podcast is at the access pod and uh say hi on the facebook page that's always fun to see uh who's listening and what people think i enjoy that always like making good kajak down there with the fans uh like like reaching out you know you know what i mean i don't want to do a podcast i want to have a conversation that's why we don't have a fan base we have a community we just love making eye contact don't have fans i have friends you know what i mean i wouldn't mind seeing some tits

uh what do you got going on? So, what's that? A few screenings of that. We were in New York for the Bushwick Comedy Festival at the end of September. I believe that's the 29th through October 2nd. And that's in the Big Apple. Big Apple. The city of brotherly love. Yes.

New York City. Yep. You may have heard of it. Uh-huh. And then we got- Windy Apple. The Windy Grapefruits. That's what they call it.

That's what they call it. That's what they call it. And then a week after that, Baltimore Black Film Festival. Yeah. So, yeah, Mike Fonazzo, the blackest guy I know. Yep, black filmmaker. That's... And which I was really glad I used that line this morning when I was having a racially charged conversation

with our friend Randolph Terrence. Oh, okay. And he said something like, I don't... And this was actually a racially charged conversation with our friend randolph terrence oh okay and he said something like i don't and this was a this is actually a very like poignant good conversation and he goes i know you don't understand what it's like to be black and i was like hold up one second uh i'm a black filmmaker watch your fucking mouth and luckily he found that funny okay but um but yeah were you talking on the phone or was this over it's just facebook chat okay so that's one of those things when you hit enter and you're like yeah like i sent it thinking it was hilarious and i'm like oh that really could go either way yeah but uh but he's a great dude and

uh a good buddy of ours and uh he he enjoyed that line and he's he's just sent me back hashtag black filmmakers matter ah so that's awesome but uh yes so uh baltimore black international film festival october 5th through the 10th it's actually a bunch of cool venues i don't know where we are yet but they do it at the charles they do it at the um the african-american history museum when's it going down the october 5th through the 10th oh okay so it's a lot like they're doing stuff like every night and every day. And you're, you're definitely doing it. Um, is that up in the air?

Cut this out. Uh, we can't. Well, what do you want to do? Uh, yeah, well,

let's see where we are in a week. Okay. Well, I haven't settled the thing we talked about, but I'm still plugging it. So I can say that we've been plugging it. Okay. That's good.

Yeah. Yeah. We're plugging it. Do you just want to talk about the issue with it okay that's good yeah yeah we're plugging it should i do you just want to talk about the issue with it or uh it's up to you i mean i think it'll be fine because i think it'll be funny people are like man this movie must be really racist it's like police race but uh no i just want our movie to like get pulled i'm at my wits end with all these blacks there's a line in the movie yeah i just want to get pulled so like for the week after i could be like we got pulled you guys know why yeah

racism but uh no we listen to the digression sessions yeah i'm confident that we will be there okay they sent me you know a laurel like those like official selection of the film festival oh okay and that's like a little like plant looking i think it would be weird to like pull everything what if they send you another one says officially unselected well that's the thing like even if they pull our movie from the schedule i'm still going to use like the officially selected thing because we were selected that's pretty dope um but yeah we wouldn't be pulled for bad reasons. No, definitely not. It's more technicality stuff currently. But I think, knock on this wood that is from my workplace.

How funny would that be if the technicality was they found out I was white? I don't know. They probably took a gander at you. Mike Fonazzo doesn't sound like a black guy to me. You'd think. Yeah. It is 2016, you racist piece of shit. That's true. Mike Fonazzo could be Eddie at a black guy to me you'd think yeah um it is 2016 you racist piece of shit that's true mike finazzo could be eddie at all colors and that's okay um well that's the

thing too when film freeway like the website you submit through like they actually have like a director's bio and headshot on there so like i did like have this image of submitting a movie they watch it they're like let's find out more about this guy yeah they see the name and then they go a little further down and see the picture that which was literally a picture i didn't even put my headshot i put a picture of my passport photo oh really even better it would just be like a picture of like a loaf of white bread yes yes. A vanilla wafer. Yeah, exactly. Or just like a black background with white Texas. Insert white guy here. But no, really, that was a pleasure to be selected,

and I'm really proud of that with our movie. Yeah. We've had the conversation. I love filmmakers like the Duplass brothers and the Coen brothers. I mean, I do. Mario brothers. had like the conversation like i love um like filmmakers like the duplass brothers and like the coen brothers i mean i do mario brothers yeah mario brothers are really good but like even like like with paul thomas anderson movies and like really like fincher movies like i watch these movies sometimes and i just think like where are the black people in these movies like i love the duplass brothers i don't think i've seen one black person in any movie or TV show they've done.

It's a good point. And I don't think like that's they're being racist. I think they're writing parts for like people they know. Just what they know. Yeah. It's not active racism per se, but it's just that's their worldview. Right. And that's like when people criticize like Woody Allen for not having black people in his movies.

Like I get it to a point but then the other side of it is it's like i watched cafe society which is set in 1940s hollywood i don't know where black people fit in that story right right and then also like i remember like that was like the famous like spike lee quote was he was like we're you know we're the black people woody allen movies and woody allen shoots right back we're the neurotic jews and spike lee movies we're the neurotic jews but like so that's what uh this is actually part of the conversation i had with randolph earlier was i think that sometimes you know i watch these movies and it's not even that they're not making black movies it's like i just when was the last time like we saw a movie

which is like a movie that's like aimed towards you know everybody it's not like a niche movie but you just see like a black person is like a dude yeah like just as like there could be any other white person or any other like yeah they could be like any you know and that is the refreshing part too where it's just that's just a part of life it's not right not making a grand statement or anything or they're not in the movie because they're uh representative of some racial metaphor or something or telling like a larger story it's like he's a comedian right he just happens to be a black guy yeah like with and weaves like originally like i actually pictured someone else in the movie and then it was kind of like oh no no jason's the best person for the

movie yeah why yeah why wouldn't he be and then we didn't change anything to fit his race in the movie so it's like i like the idea we got to change all these hellos to yo right right out of the back control f on the script find and replace on all of these that was actually um spoiler alert in the movie yeah which i don't care at this point but um because the our fans have seen the movie yeah but the in the movie jason picture yeah see the have seen the movie. Yeah. But in the movie, Jason's... The picture. Yeah. See the picture.

And the movie, Jason's wife dies, and the movie opens up with him like kind of sullen in a car. Yeah. Somebody criticized the movie saying that it should have been more obvious what's happening. Right.

And my dad said, what are they, stupid? Like, was it supposed to open with him in the car going, the bitch died! Oh! Oh, no! Damn, damn. stupid like was it supposed to open with him in the car going the bitch died oh no like but yeah but back to like like the race thing and like in our movie like to be like i'm so proud of like black people and white people are just characters in the movie like it has nothing with race and i think that's cool that it got accepted into a black film festival because it's not for that reason yeah but that's and the cool thing is too it's not you didn't set out to do that right yeah i just thought to tell a story and make a movie you know

um and i like i don't know like it is frustrating because we have like these great movies coming out like uh like you told me about the trailer for moonlight which looks incredible oh yeah yeah yeah and yeah which is basically tells a tale of like uh what like it's in miami right yeah it's in miami a kid who kind of struggles with uh i think he's abused as a kid and he's gay as well sexuality yeah and trying to basically tell the story in kind of three parts yeah pretty intense yeah and but the trailer for that looks great and like even even like uh like birth of a nation which is like the nate parker movie which is getting like all this oscar buzz like i think it's cool that like these movies exist but it's like i almost just want to see more people or just like black people people are just people and not just like that like the race is used as like a device

in the story right right exactly i think that's why like denzel washington's one of the best actors because he's one of the few actors that's a lead African American, person of color in movies. And very rarely, unless it is part of Glory or Remember the Titans, he's just the character. Right, right, yeah. I wish that happened more. Yeah, yeah, totally.

No, I think it's great, man. I'm really excited for you. I'm more excited to see the Q&A after and before. Oh, the intro in the Q&A will probably be interesting. That will be, man. I'm really excited for you. I'm more excited to see the Q&A after and before. Oh, the intro in the Q&A will probably be interesting. That will be, yeah. Maybe we should record that. That'll be fun. That would be great.

But I was voted most likely to be a white director at a black film festival in high school. That's pretty good, man. That's very specific. Those kids really knew at the time. I bet at the time you're like, man, I don't know about this yeah and then uh now here you here you are living up to all expectations um yeah randolph is uh randolph terrence very funny he's great comedian based out of the dc area we did a show uh on wednesday at rag time um this like bar restaurant restaurant that I host a show at every other week. And he was just going to be doing a guest spot.

And the headliner, well, I guess just final comedian of the night was going to be Mark Joyner. And Mark wasn't there at around like, I don't 8 15 show starts at 8 you're saying that mark was late yeah so i texted him like hey where you where you at and uh and he wrote in the er and i was like hmm do you mean car or like emergency room he's like emergency room and i was like what and uh he he's like yeah i got an ingrown hair uh like a really bad ingrown hair or something and then he goes i got a fever i got the whole shit i was like okay and then so luckily randolph was there and i was like hey how would you like to close out the show

and he's like yeah all right i guess and uh yeah so i was really i was lucky that he was there and i think mark is fine he sent me a picture it looked pretty gnarly like it looked like a cluster of ingress i don't know what it was but it was on like his chest and like kind of like below his his tit and uh and i was like how's it going he's like they drained it man all kinds of pus came out it's like jesus christ yeah oh that's a an interesting reason to miss a show yeah like in terms of like excuses for missing work or performance that's i've never heard that one before me either and then uh it's funny because he texted me a picture of like him in the waiting room i suppose with uh one of those little like bands you get when

you get checked into the hospital. And I was looking at it, and it looked really official at first. It's just his picture, his face, and then he has his wrist up so you can see his little thing. And then I looked at it, and I was like, that's just blank. It looks like...

But then I was like, that's a lot of effort to go through to fake it, too. So I hope he's okay. I'm sure he's fine now, but it is pretty gnarly. If you know him, grill him about all the details. All those ingrown hairs. Ask him doctor's names. How much his copay was.

What's going on? I want to see an invoice. I want to see it. Yeah, so this whole week for me was like a whole week of weird kind of random shows. So Sunday night I did High Tops. I'll be there tonight. Oh, you double dipping tonight? Yeah, because they're doing their big Laugh-A-Palooza show.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he asked me. And I think Tommy's also going to do both shows. Nice. Yeah, because the Magoobies benefits at 7, so I'm going to go to high tops after. Gotcha. Yeah, and that'll start later. Yeah, and then with the holiday,

which is today. Wow. The power of podcasting, huh? Yeah, so if you're listening in the future, the show was amazing. We reinvented comedy. Both shows. How'd they go?

Good. And I heard you saved all of Ellicott City. I did. You put it all back together with your jokes i was the hero that ellicott city needed and at high tops no drunk people heckled me and call me a faggot well it's funny you say that uh so i i'd never done high tops before and for those listening it's uh in a suburb of baltimore and uh it's a late sunday night show which can usually be a real real shit fest if football's going on during the day especially

if the ravens win or lose uh and uh i'd been there like i'd seen you perform there i've been to a few shows but i'd never performed there which is kind of weird being a baltimore comedian because that room's been there for so long it was one of the first rooms i ever that was like the second mic i ever did oh really like that yeah damn yeah so t-brite asked me to do it uh like the beginning of summer and it's like hey how about august and it's like sure um and then uh so it's sunday night and uh brought karen with me and i was like it's not gonna be like a good show but it's gonna be gonna be fun but we actually ended up having fun and then it's just funny when you go to this place like the outside looks a little weird like they're trying to be like hey it's like an island

but we're in the middle of some fucking suburb and anyway uh but right when you go inside there's the huge thing of um who's the uh we'll put a boot up your ass guy who would be key there's a big toby keith cut out from the tour of it was called hanging and banging or something like that i was like wow which is the name of all of my tours that's all you do yep if you're not hanging you're banging you see me you're like you know what that guy does he hangs he bangs the international black film festival zone mike finazzo that's your follow-up film right yes wits end to reloaded josh kadurda is hanging in bag uh so yes that won't be playing in any black black i don't think i'll be playing any film

uh so we're sitting at the bar and uh there's there's like a a few people in like the the show area and there's a table of like 11 people and they're a little older and like there's no way they're here for the show right and t brad the guy that runs the show he comes over he's like hey what's up guys we're gonna have a good time and uh i'm gonna go up first and then uh we'll see if that table up front those 11 are here to have fun and we'll check in and uh the bartender goes she goes no no no they're they're with the state fair they're higher ups at the state fair you do not want to make them like who gives a fuck about the state yeah yeah no more ferris wheels for you next year pal but of course they weren't there for the show and they left but uh yeah but it ended up

being a small crowd but a really good crowd and uh when i went up in like the first like two minutes um i i was just talking about baltimore and uh and i, yeah, I live in the city. How do you guys feel about it? Just trying to engage them. And they were like, you know, there's like usually like claps or groans or whatever. And then a guy in the back, he's like, yeah, you're a vagina. I was like, what? It's not really a sentence. Yeah, I couldn't tell what he said in the beginning.

And I was like, did you call me a vagina and he's like yeah vagina that's like that's the weirdest anatomical heckle like he's like i don't want to call him a pussy right i'm not gonna go all the way um so it was one of those things where like i didn't like go back at him i mean i kind of said like how ridiculous it was but it just became a runner through my set like i call back and i was like yeah i opened the door and there's four guys and they're all calling me a vagina and i'm like how does this keep out so luckily it was one of those things where it was like and then t brad like escorted him out but it was just so funny like i figured the room was going to be fucked up and like how you're joking about people be like you're a fag literally in the first like minute of my set guys like you're a vagina yeah i've always like with that room like i've always had fun shows there yeah and like i've

probably like headlined that show like more than like any other bar show and right like it's one of those weird things too where like the people there for comedy are usually so good yeah but then like there's always like one or two assholes that like come in from like the upstairs bar or were there for football or yeah or they could stumble in from outside or whatever yeah um were when you were there did the dude who works for the orioles come by i don't know i have no idea what you would you would absolutely so there's this dude who um it's just the oriole bird yes it's like you didn't know that asshole um he's the one that called me a vagina actually no so i like my day job if you don't know i listen to people i work

with people with mental disabilities listen to podcast professionals yes and uh but no so it was like maybe three times ago i headlined i was in the middle of my closer which is a story about working with people with disabilities yeah and then this dude who obviously has some form of disability walks in. Sure. What are you talking about? A Steelers fan? No, I'm just kidding. Well, so he comes in and he usually has like one or two drinks and gets drunk and just

starts asking like random questions. Okay. And it's like to the comedian. Yes. Okay. And it's one of those like weird heckles where it's like yeah be mean to the person and yeah and he's so sweet but he just like doesn't understand like right he's not actively trying to ruin the show so he has showed up the last three times i've had line now and apparently

comes most weeks okay and like will challenge people to arm wrestle like while the comedians on stage and stuff like that but he always wears like an orange polo and he's like an usher for the oriole okay he works it like more like that ticket he might have been there but by the time i went up maybe he was gone yeah i don't know you would absolutely know yeah there was one guy apparently comes to every show older guy wearing like a green hoodie he just looked a little grizzled and kind of weird but he was fine and uh he came up to me after and he goes another success like puts his hand on like i was like yeah i guess i mean uh what's your name and then he got weird he's like whatever his name was he's like it's jeff it's like okay well like we've never met yeah like it's another success that implies that we've had

a success before right right and i don't know who the fuck you are right uh but yeah the show ended up being fun and uh while i don't know why black people keep coming up on this podcast but because they exist they're in our lives like really what's happening no but, but there were... We need to make America great again. There were two, exactly, which brings me to my next point. There were two black guys in the back like leaning on pool tables watching the show and making them laugh was,

well, that felt really good. They were doing the thing where they like elbow each other and like... That happened, dude. My Facebook status by the last time i headlined high tops yeah i think it was those dudes were sitting in the back yeah the one of the greatest moments of my life was one of them i made him laugh so hard that he popped up out of his chair like did a 360 around the chair and sat back down that's the best yeah i i've only had i

had that once with a woman uh in dc she got up and she was like he too crazy and like what like had to like tap out yeah i was like that that makes that makes my year that's amazing so good you're never gonna get a white person that's just like no i can't i can't there's like i am enjoying this thoroughly please Please continue. I'm sorry for interrupting. This is enjoyable to me. Thank you. So, yeah, so that was a late night. And then I was like, all right, well, Monday I'll get to sleep in

because I got home late and then I put up the podcast with Brooks Whelan. Very good episode. Oh, thank you, man. Yeah, I'm bummed you couldn't be there. He was so nice. Yeah, he was awesome on the show. he was he was pounding waters during the podcast which was interesting he sounded hungover ass fisting like we grabbed uh that's that's your af yeah you're hip with the terms um yeah he he was really cool and then uh but yeah so i had to put that podcast up that night

and then i was like all right i gotta work on monday and then we'll chill and hang out and it'll be really easy and then keith paradise uh pennsylvania comedian uh texted me at like four o'clock and he's like oh yeah i didn't give you the address for the venue for the show tonight and i was like what and i was like oh yes that show that i definitely remember and he's and i was like yeah what's the address and then it was in hagerstown maryland which is what like hour and a half almost two hours almost two hours away and i told karen i'm like look come out on sunday night to this show i know it's not the best but monday night we'll do date night and then four o'clock I'm like,

I got to go to Hagerstown. And so I was like, fuck, I was so tired. And I wasn't prepared for the show. Like I didn't even bring shoes. I had to ask Keith to bring shoes to wear or else I would have just been in flip flops. But so the show turned out to be, I knew it was a benefit show, but I didn't know what the fuck it was a benefit for and uh i drive like my ass off

i'm in traffic takes forever to get there and it's in a mini mall in this bar and i'm like oh god this is gonna be terrible um but then i go in and it turns out it's a benefit for a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender. LGBT. There it is. With the Q. You can add the Q on the end now. It's LGBTQAAI, I think. I think that's actually, don't ask me what any of them stand for, but I was corrected

on that recently. So I think, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So they were there. AAA was there. AMCO. Uh, yeah. Uh, yeah. So that they were there. Triple A was there.

Amco and double ACP. Uh, and, uh, but yeah, so it turned out to be, uh, this thing called, uh,

uh, Hagerstown hope. And they're basically like a nonprofit outreach for, for like lesbian and gay and bisexual and transgender issues and stuff. And I was like, oh, that's so cool. Um,

so it was like a benefit for that so they did a thing where they painted wine glasses and then they had stand up and uh they could not have been cooler it was just a bunch of like older lesbians for the most part painting wine glasses that's fun listen to our bullshit yeah and that was another like the there was no stage light they basically just left on the lights they normally have for pool tables so that was fun but it was really they they were really cool and like uh i was i was joking i was like asking like any couples in the crowd and nobody really made that much noise and it's like well you guys should start hooking up i mean there can't be more gay people in higgers town maryland besides the amount that's here then they still got quiet and it's like all right we'll die alone with your cats i don't care what

you do i don't know but uh yeah they they were so they were so nice did they uh did they like your haircut i did joke about that i of course had to go to my yeah just stay out the obvious the keystone of my set the lesbian haircut i did say uh i was fucking around i was like it was very nice to see a bunch of ladies with my haircut and they like that that was that was fun uh yeah dude it was really cool then wednesday wednesday i had rag time and then thursday i hosted a show at riley's here so it's just like a busy week of uh like kind of smaller like bar shows it's always fun when there's like those shows that you have like no expectations for yeah out in the middle of nowhere yeah then you're just like oh yeah people from small towns just want to be entertained too yeah and if you don't treat them like like

it's like oh what the fuck right you know like they they had a good energy and they were cool and like that other show that keith books i know you've done before like the middle of nowhere pennsylvania oh my god yeah i was like dreading that show and then when i got there i was like oh this is amazing like these people love like yeah want to be here i yeah when i did that it was literally like seven people and you just i knew everyone's name because you have to especially if you're like quote unquote headline right right you're like all right if i'm gonna dress these people for like 35 minutes at least i need to know their names there's no way because you can't just be like yeah so anyway like you can't act like you're just doing your act because there's no

artifice of a performer right you're just the asshole that happens to have a microphone right and i got really lucky that one guy went to the bathroom and came back and had toilet paper on his shoe it was amazing it was just a gift from the comedy gods they really loved that one you're like my set was going downhill then i got saved because some asshole got toilet paper stuck exactly as like corny as that sounds the room really loved it it was pretty great and then he's like man you put that there it's like yeah that's what i do you got me uh wednesday night yeah at ragtime too as far as like shitty audience members go there was a table of like these fucking chatty bitches i couldn't tell what the setup was if it was like the two girls were like daughters and then there was like their parents were there too

i don't know it was like three or four older people and then like two kind of maybe like mid to late 20s chicks and uh they were they were laughing but they were doing the thing where like they talked to each other after like every little thing like oh my god that's so you linda linda i'm like all right guys it's not tv like you can't keep doing that and so like i kept fucking with them and then basically like the crowd didn't like them either so i was like kind of just like just be quiet like i kind of went at him a little bit got some laughs on it and uh like uh in i said the word parse for a bit that i do and then i saw they had their phones out i was like guys i can see you have your

phone like what are you doing and one of the girls goes we're looking up the word parse it means to separate and she's like yeah it's like so you should parse yourself out of the room if this is going to continue and everybody goes like oh it was my eight mile moment and then just but uh but yeah so that i figured that would be enough to be like seriously shut the fuck up but then they like kept doing it during other people's sets and i had to like tell them like just be quiet right and then one woman uh at the table she has her phone out she turns the flashlight on and she's like digging through her she's digging through her purse and this room holds i don't know like 50 people the most

maybe small room it's like that's one of those rooms that like if anybody makes any kind of noise you notice yeah exactly like you know like if you hear a cough you know who's doing you can see each other it's yeah it's a nice room but yeah it's it's tiny and so i'm like what is she doing and then the woman sitting next to her is getting involved and it's like helping her dig through her purse like what i go over like what are you guys doing and she's like she lost a button like okay yeah well she can look for a fucking lane bryant button in the hallway right and the woman goes uh i guess i didn't say the lane bryant part but i really wanted to but uh that's very aggressive i told them so many times and then uh it was and then the woman like gave me a look like i was the asshole and she left the room and tried to like slam the door and i'm like it's the middle of a comedy show and your button is, it was like a button

like from her fucking, from her sleeve of her jacket. Right, right. Where is it going to be? It's going to be around the fucking table. It's not like, like you've been there the whole time. So like just dealing with that shit was really annoying. And then at the end of the show too, like, cause they kept doing shit. Like the one girl was like on her phone with getting pokemon in the fucking room like why are you here get the

fuck out of here so at the end of the show i was like you know give it up for everybody that's been a show blah blah hope you guys had fun come back uh every week we're here eight o'clock free show want everybody to come back not this table you guys can get fucked but everybody else can come back and this the woman at the table she was like and like made a look and then a guy next to their table he goes oh they're drunks wearing off she's offended i was like yeah see like everybody knows you were the drunk asshole right right just get the fuck out of you like i'm normally like the nicest guy but it was so fucking annoying i like that like you know my meltdown stories versus your meltdown yeah like i've lost my shit and almost gotten my ass kicked yeah i haven't had that yet

when and your meltdown story is i got mad and almost told this lady that she shops at lane brian yeah i was this close michael you do not even know um yeah i think it's also like to rag times at arlington i think sometimes like as much as i love that room and i love all of rami's rooms yeah he should book me but um i'll put in a word yeah thanks oh but uh but no like sometimes like the audience is there i think it more so there than like a draft house like just get a little like entitled sometimes yeah it's we've got it like you have bad people i mean like in general the audiences are great yeah but like sometimes when it's like people like that if it's random people because yeah now the show's starting to get a

pretty good built-in audience and most people get it that like you like kind of just through public awareness and shaming almost like oh i don't want to ruin the show it's like but i think they were just drunk and drunk and chatty and then uh yeah then i had a show uh the next day in baltimore and hosted that and uh yeah it was a lot of fun so it's just like kind of a kind of a busy week and then i did uh did big hunt on friday and then saturday just slept in and hung out it was great had a nice little yuppie day pretty nice yuppie day got brunch got some nice uh nice uh donut holes from a very nice bakery where do you go to get your donuts oh michael where don't i go i was someplace on 14th street i don't know what it was because

you know i go uh what's your dc yeah i go to uh it's not too far from here be more donuts amazing i like b donuts yeah but here's my thing with that fucking b donuts place oh they uh they're like hey we're open till like two they run out of donuts at like 10 a.m and then they say we're either open till two or till we run out right like hey make more fucking donuts that's all you do yeah do you not like money i like what the fuck they're like we made 50 donuts we're out of donuts right make more fucking donuts that's all you do yeah do you not like money i like what the fuck they're like we made 50 donuts we're out of donuts right make more goddamn donuts yeah um yes jerry seinfeld thank you but no i mean they also make donuts you make donuts when you want more donuts you make more donuts but yeah i mean i guess i lucked out yesterday i was there yeah yeah which i think that was the first time i've ever gone there where they weren't out of

something like i've only been there once where they were completely out right and then yesterday because my wife ran in the char uh charles street 12 mile race uh yeah yeah how did she place by the way that worthless uh-huh oh my god not even top 100 wow she's like there's like a thousand people in the race it's like everything after first is fucking last big all right big time should have made her drive did she even try yeah it's like really i hope you didn't take her to pizza hut after no i didn't winters i did give her b No, I didn't. Winners eat pizza. I did give her B-donut. You're lucky I won B-donut. Yeah. That was what I should have done. I was like, you want fucking donuts?

Just like dump them in the trash. I'm like, winners eat these. These are for first place. You got beat by a fucking child. But yeah, so she ran like she had to be there like 7, I think is when it started. 7 a.m.? Yeah. Jesus. Which they do that too because of traffic being oh yeah so like that way it's like i think

everybody's done by like 9 30 so yeah it's not too bad right um see i dropped her off like in because it's all the way down charles street so it starts in talis and ends up at like power plant gotcha um so yeah i dropped her off at seven i I was like, oh, I'll go to B Donut. And, yeah, it was just weird being in there when no one else is in there. Because, like, every time I've gone, there's been a line out the door. They've been out of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, yeah, so it was very delicious. So you dropped your wife off to run in a race. Yep, and I got donuts. And you went to go get a donut. Yeah, you know why? Yeah. I'm an American. You're a champion.

Yeah. I love that um didn't embarrass my family by finishing in 100th place though no no way that's a lot of shit yeah that was the joke i posted i posted a picture of her crossing the finish line yeah i posted my wife ran out of the charm at charles street 12 right not to be outdone i ate a donut and shit in a porta potty good for you which is what i did good for you i've been ate a donut and shit in a porta potty. Good for you, man. Which is what I did. Good for you. I've been having a lot of shit talks with you. And not like the, I don't know, not the degree of how I rank our conversations.

They've just been scatological in nature. Yeah, I mean, I guess you could say that. Laura listened to the podcast, the last solo, what we did where I talked about the classic we closed strong with the edelfisch story uh-huh and she was like i'm surprised you didn't bring up the uh because you were part of my classic story of when i shit in public yeah also at ragtime yeah when you were hosting the show yeah and i had food poisoning yeah and i was like literally texting you from the bathroom you might need to stall yeah like stretch a little bit i'm like okay and my opening live was i was pooping as recently as 90 seconds ago yeah because you're like should i talk about this i'm like yeah probably yeah because yeah you could tell that you looked like a little like sick yeah you were just like

not feeling well but what a trooper to do the show didn't you shit in a bag thank you byron did you not shit in a bag so mike i hear you shit in a bag you've got a story about that right hold on i did i don't know like i was expecting to we were talking about the story and then still framing it as byron now it makes me laugh so fucking hard. So good, yeah. Anybody that doesn't know what we're talking about, just look up Byron Allen Comics Unleashed. And the show was this guy, Byron Allen, who I guess used to be a comedian.

I think in the 80s he was like a clock comic. And then he hosted a show called Comics Unleashed where he would have four other comedians on. It's still on. It came back. It's back. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. And so his whole thing was trying to tee up comedians. And they do this on every late night show.

And they're like, somebody said something about vacation. And then they're like, oh, did you go on a cruise? And he's like, oh, we did. Yeah, blah, blah. But yeah, Byron ellens are just so like ham-fisted and obvious right right uh norm mcdonald was talking about it once and he said his favorite was when john lovitz was on and he goes now john i understand you're getting older which is like everyone's doing that all the time. One of my favorite variations of this was, because they do that on morning radio a lot,

where it's like, just do your pits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Michelle was telling me that Richard Jenny was on, and he was just, like, in a really bad mood. Uh-huh. And he, like, just, like, walked in the studio really shitty and just hands a piece of paper saying, here are my premises, and walked away.

Whoa. And Mickey Coachella was so pissed that he just started going, white bread bread and was just like saying the bullet points and like in between like segments like richard jenny was like you know what the fuck dude like why are you doing that and mickey's just like hey look i understand like this isn't like the ideal place to be here but like don't come in here and like disrespect people that work here and they ended up like hashing it out and like the second segment was like awesome and then richard jenney killed himself anyway but right after that show

yeah he actually really did kill himself yeah yeah it's pretty dark how he did it too didn't he like didn't his family like go get like groceries and he was like oh i didn't do that it's something crazy like that where they're like uh we'll be right back he's like okay i'll be here and i'm gonna blow my brains out i think i think i don't know if that's i don't maybe that happened but i can just say stuff you know i can get self-indulgent i've never heard that part of the story there was the one the classic like louis ck story where like his wife called him and she was like crying and she was like he was like oh she figured out like my

phone sex bill or something and then she's like richard jenny killed him and he was like oh my friend just died um i think that was the story like i've heard him tell that story before okay maybe i don't know maybe i'm just making it up who knows but? But yeah, thank you, Byron Allen. So I shit in a plastic bag. Circling back to what's important. I had food poisoning. Now, Mike, I understand you like B-donuts. Are you getting older? Yeah, I'm getting older.

Yeah, so I was on the way to the show, The Ragtime, and I was going to shit myself. And so I pulled over into this parking lot, and I was like, I'm not going to make it to ragtime. And I was like, I'm either going to shit in a corner, or I need to shit somewhere else. And I had a plastic bag in the backseat of my car. Yeah, was it like a Harris Teeter bag?

Yeah, it was like a grocery bag. And I pissed out of my ass into the bag. God, the noise. Oh, it was sad, sad noise. And I got a little bit on my finger. You never want to hear liquid hitting a bag anyway. That's just an awkward noise. And like echo chamber of an empty parking garage.

Was this in your car? It was in a parking garage. It was in a parking garage. Did anybody see you? No. So that's the thing. So It was in a parking garage. It was in a parking garage. Did anybody see you? No. So that's the thing. So I pulled into the parking garage. It's one close to ragtime.

I thought it was open. I like how strategic you are about shitting in a van. You're like, well, here's the thing. Right. Okay. So what happened was I pulled into this parking garage thinking I could just pay. And it turned out it was a closed parking garage. It was all construction vehicles. Gotcha. like something was being built like right there right and i was like i'm not gonna make it like to like the next garage yeah like legit yeah and usually

i park on the street anyway but i was just like i need to get out of the fucking car yeah and so i like i i opened my door so like if somebody did like walk by or drive by they couldn't see me and right behind it and shit in the plastic bag. And then just threw it in the corner. Like it was fucking dog poop or something. Jesus. And then got back in my car and then had to shit again. Yeah.

Like so I illegally parked my car. This time like a block from brag time. Like fuck it. Like if I get a ticket or something. Like it's whatever. And I made it to like the start of the show. then i thought i was going to be okay and ended up like shitting like three times during your set and the guest spot set oh by the way so the other part i always leave this out of the story i don't know why i never tell this story it's not like this is like

my closer or something like a speaking tour yeah yeah when i'm out to dinner parties telling my shit stories and when i was at the yale commencement what i left this part out no i think i got like a little shit on my hand and i was walking into ragtime and there was a comic who i really don't like oh yeah leaving yeah to shake my hand and i was like oh fuck it oh and i stink popped him oh and and if it was like any if it was like you or something yeah you know i wouldn't have shook your hand definitely and uh yeah so like during i got through that show i remember i thought i had a good set you did yeah well i i think you talking about it was uh what helped you loosen up yeah uh and uh the crowd was like uh like at first i think they're like i what no this really happened that would be a weird bit yeah exactly yeah like no no that

this this really happened like the 80s hack comics are like i can't believe this shirt i'm wearing yeah i'd be like i can't believe this shit i just took. You have to do that everywhere. Right, right. It's the shit guy. Yeah. Yeah, I... That's what I wanted to be known as, was the guy who shit into a plastic bag. Yeah, your business cards... That's his thing.

Your business cards say, this guy's the shit. Mike Fianazzo. Number one in the number two business, Mike Fianazzo. Yeah, I've only had one experience experience and that was of shitting my pants and that was last year so nothing so far well i guess technically it was this year because it was it was either like late december early january somewhere in there but uh i've told on the

podcast before but for those that don't know and i guess we're talking about shit so why not um i uh i was i was leaving work to to do a show in dc and um i was leaving and i felt like a little like my stomach felt a little weird but i think that i i just chalked it up to i was like i ate a bunch of peanuts like way too many vending machine peanuts i I was like, probably shouldn't have eaten that many. It's just digesting weird. And then I was like maybe like 20 minutes outside of D.C. And I was just like, I have to throw up right now. And I grabbed my Tupperware that I had from that day.

And it still had pasta in it that I had for lunch. So I'm like vomiting peanut go into like a fucking uh thing of spaghetti and i was just so gnarly and i remember like throwing that out in like some random neighborhood too just like empty that uh landed next to my bag full of shit which is still there cats in the grill in the silver spoon um and so like i was like man i i because sometimes when you throw up you're like oh i feel better yeah it's like a sense of relief or something yeah i felt that a little bit and then i was doing a show and it was a mash-up show where i was going to be in an improv troupe for three or four comedians um and so i texted pete bergen who was in the the troupe that

i was going to be in i was like hey man i'm not feeling well i just threw up and he's like suck it up pussy okay he's like well how far are you it's like like 20 minutes outside of dc and he's like all right well just uh just come to dc you're already close like you're probably fine i was like yeah that's true and so i made a deal with myself i was like all right this venue it's on u street parking's normally terrible like i'm gonna get there if parking sucks i'm just gonna get the fuck out of there because i started to not feel great again and then like out of a movie there's just a huge space right in front of the venue like right like street parking right there and then you slow down hoping someone takes exactly like so slow right but yeah i park in it and then uh i go in i'm like

man i'm not feeling well and i told ahmed uh by a host who is the host and he was and he bought ginger ale for me which was really nice so i had some of that and then i was like oh and then i i had some that i felt like i was going to throw up again i went to the bathroom and kind of like held off and i was like guys i gotta go And they're like, yeah, that's fine. Just get out of here. And as soon as I was pulling out to head back to Baltimore, I threw up. And it's right on U Street where it's super jam-packed at night. People are going to bars.

And they're like, let's die on cocaine. And now I'm throwing up while I'm driving. But it like going to like stoplights and stop signs and stuff. But I'm not, you know, I'm not going in the crosswalks. I don't want to block the box. I'm still a nice guy, you know. And all it like, it just, it sucked. So I'm like going through a bunch of traffic and Google had me going out a weird way.

So I was going through like neighborhoods and shit. And then finally i get on i-95 and i'm like great like i'm just gonna get home now it's just a straight shot and uh i feel a little rumble in my tummy i'm like oh maybe i just have to fart that'll relieve some pressure you know because i have no reason to mistrust my butthole at this point it's 29 years mike finazzo your butthole at this point. It's 29 years, Mike Fianazzo. Your butthole's never let you down. Not once, not never. It's always been there for you. Me and my butthole been like this, son.

For those listeners that can't see what I'm doing, I'm licking my hand. You and your butthole are like the movie Stand By Me, and this rumble is the dead body. That's right. And then I go to fart. And that is not what happened. I sharted.

Sharted my damn target genes. And so I was covered in vomit and shit on my way back to Baltimore. And when I tell this story on stage, I was covered in shit. I was covered in vomit on my way to Baltimore. Where everybody is covered in vomit and covered in shit. So at least I'll fit in. uh yeah it was just so terrible like after like everything it was like at two butthole at two and uh so i made it home and i felt like i was like withdrawing from heroin i was freezing cold and i was like pissing out of my butt and throwing up and i i sleep it off and i wake up and i thought

i was doing better next day i'm sitting on the couch sharted again and yeah it kind of made a mess on the couch ex-girlfriend got the couch she got the couch yeah i was like oh also there's just no way to avoid like there's just like a green like puddle there it's like i'm sorry i like the idea of when the couch moved out. Like, you just started going, I've seen fun. I've seen rage. I've seen shit come out of my butt when I thought I was farting. Yeah, full circle. Full circle.

James Taylor, eat your heart. Yeah, man. So, luckily, I haven't had any real rough, I haven't had a rough go of it as far as poop goes for a while. But I like the updates from you. You're like, hey, I just shit in the library. Cool. That's cool.

Thank you. Thanks for the updates. Yeah, I poop in public. And sometimes it's a little more exotic than others. So I like to just keep you posted. It's not always a Wegmans. I did that with uh a listener Daylon Morrison I used to

poop in the comedian yeah comedians a comedian father good guy known Satanist yeah he lives uh by the Wegmans in Wallchapel and that's where I would go to shit like every single day uh-huh so I just used to text him like i'm shitting

in the wagons right by your house and he would get really into it so i started sending selfies like as i was shitting yeah so that became a thing for a while that's and then i had to like start like going to different places well i'm glad you're spreading the love yeah i like that yeah i mean i don't want you to think that you're the only. Yeah. Yeah. I guess we've never talked about the status. There are other people that I tell about my shit. Sure. I think it's, uh,

you told me once when I took a break from Twitter and just like started like sending you like my obnoxious, I shit. Yeah. I just shot whatever. Yeah. And you just like texted me. Did I become your Twitter?

What happened? Yeah. Like, is this just like where you share like your bullshit thoughts this isn't a conversation you're just like i pooped it's like i follow you on twitter and it's set to notifications on getting all of these yeah i have a twitter that runs exclusively to you yeah uh yeah there was recently i think you said you took like a huge shit and you you're like do you want to see it and i was like no i don't remember that and i was like i said uh i said like uh i can respect

and appreciate your shit it's like it's like pictures of other people's kids it's like i like my kids you can enjoy your kids i don't have to see your kids i think you know this is for i'm sorry i was gonna say i think you just texted back fair enough yeah i mean i'm not gonna force it on you you know not that i didn't think about sending it anyway you know that thumbs just trembling over that send button this is for this conversation is for anybody that thinks i'm pretentious and take myself too seriously. Definitely not. Yeah. Yeah. And I think we should wrap it up there.

We're on a good pace here, I think. I think let's go out strong. Gotcha. Right? Yeah. I mean, where do you go from there? I mean, I guess we could talk about race relations in America, but we're running out of time. Yeah, fuck Lena Donald, man.

Right. Colin Kaepernick, you know, I deal with him. Yeah, sheald man right yeah colin kaepernick you know i deal with him yeah she should have said hi to colin kaepernick this week that's what happened right i wonder how many idiot people got those two stories mixed up oh yeah it's like a bunch colin kaepernick was an asshole for not even talking to lena this is a fucking problem yeah yeah uh support to colin kaepernick uh l Dunham. I didn't read what she actually said. My burp, that's my response there. But did she complain that Odell Beckham didn't say hi to her?

She was telling a story where she was saying that a dude didn't talk to her because she thinks of herself as this big blip. It was very self-deprecating and i think that's what she was focused on and she didn't post like a like a tweet that said like what the hell no no this was actually in like a long form like interview story gotcha where it was a conversation with her and amy schumer okay and like yeah that was like it was like they were talking about this event that they were both at yeah the met gala right and but no she didn't like really like it she didn't like call him out on twitter or something it was like they were talking about this event that they were both at yeah the met gala right and but no she didn't like really like she didn't like call him out on twitter or something it was where she was telling a story where she was calling herself a fat piece of shit okay and

i think people took the part of she was worried that called that uh calling capric now i'm becoming my dad that odell beckham jr like ignored her at this thing so yeah um yeah like i have like mixed feelings about it like because that was like one of the things i was talking to like randolph about like i i obviously don't fully like understand the black experience like how frustrating that is and right yeah totally like how that would be you know perceived but like i also don't see it as being different and i've criticized lena dunham for other shit so it's like it's not even that it's her yeah and but like i don't see besides shoving rocks in her sister's pussy right big fan of that and but i think that to me it's like i don't see this as

being different as tracy morgan saying if my son was gay i'd stab that faggot in the face like he's taking like we know tracy said chest but way different what with his uh you know his voice it would have been way funnier than whatever i said anyway but which by the way and then randolph when i use that as an example said when i saw him at the draft house he said i'd fuck that caitlin jenna she a milf and just reading the text of it made me laugh so fucking hard yeah because it's tracy morgan just the way he says stuff yeah just just the cadence yeah yeah just uh side note uh i heard him on howard stern a couple weeks ago it was great i listened to that

whole thing yeah and he's talking about like uh his neighborhood and like how he's so rich from like the walmart thing and stuff and uh howard stern goes uh do you have any black people in your neighborhood tracy morgan goes what what what you what it made me laugh so he's like if i see my own brother in my neighborhood i'll call the cops it's so funny he's so great but like kind of like how we know tracy morgan isn't homophobic like i don't think reading whatever lenaophobic like i don't think reading whatever lena dunham said i don't think any of us really think she's racist i think she was trying to be funny right or is actually like upset at odell becker jr or like feels entitled that she should have him approach her or something and like in the story like she's being self-deprecating

it's saying she's the asshole gotcha like to me it's like i think of like all like the things we need to worry out worry about with race relations in america like lena dunham isn't one of them yeah no it was like i just like reading that like story i'm like why do we have a million think pieces on this like that's what bugged me it's like there's we should be talking more about the colin kaepernick thing we should be talking about every fucking police shooting that we've ignored in the past oh yeah yeah the lena dunham thing it's just it's just so easy right like it's just basically another like most of the time when she pops up in the public eye or in a think piece it's not good it's really like you know she's entitled or what did she do

now and i'm cool if people want to talk about her not having black people on her show. Right, right. To me, that's a legitimate gripe. But I just feel like this narrative is so much easier. It's like, what did she do this time? Right, right. And so it just gets misconstrued and then people run with it and stuff. But then it's also weird, too, because then people will defend her by saying people are sexist for attacking her, which sounds ridiculous. But then we'll look at her Instagram and every other assholes be like you fat cunt oh god which

it's like oh man they're kind of proving that narrative yeah yeah yeah so i don't know i just think there's so many sides to it and i think ultimately for like it's important to have some conversations but like this example i'm just like why are we bothering with yeah and i was already exhausted by the story just seeing the headline right right the whole thing's just dumb yeah like i don't know like it's just like now i need to go look at what she said and like why am i wasting time on this i don't give a fuck at all right so uh but yeah it's i mean like in the sense that i've like what you just said that there's just bigger stuff going on like i wish that the Colin Kaepernick thing got more attention. And it did.

It's been getting a lot. It's going to get interesting as far as other players not doing it and stuff. I wish somebody like Aaron Rodgers or Tom Brady would do it. That's what it takes is a big-name white player to do it. But what's fucked up is that Colin he colin kaepernick can do that and then tom brady literally has a make america great again hat in his locker does he i haven't heard that yeah yeah no and like he's a trump supporter openly and people are like oh tom yeah it's like and like yeah who's the piece of shit yeah exactly like and now and colin

kaepernick too is uh he's he's been open to criticism and stuff so instead of sitting he now he kneels after talking to a former military yeah and like he's like you know and that's never what this was about and yeah so like he he kneels out of respect for them but he's still and what gets me too is that people are like there's a better way to do that you got there's a better way to protest it's like protesting has never been clean like yeah like what's supposed to be against the grain exactly and what they're saying now too that they're they're like you know he could have done it better i mean you know there's a lot of people involved in the nfl and that organization it's like you're making the same argument that people did when people would do sit-ins at a lunch organization it's like you're making the same argument that people

did when people would do sit-ins at a lunch counter it's like that guy's running a business you can't you're disrupting his business by sitting at the counter find a better way to do it's like no it has to be done some way and this way is not that obtrusive at all no he didn't yeah yeah punch a white person in the face yeah he like literally made like as quiet of a statement as like you could and it was pretty pretty uh pretty good too because running the field in the middle of the national yeah all right like or like go nuts in an interview or like a twitter which by the way listen to his interviews he's like the most impressive dude yeah nobody could ever accuse that guy being stupid or just seeking attention he's like the most impressive dude yeah nobody could ever accuse that guy being stupid or just seeking attention he's like the most thoughtful dude yeah he was very uh he's

very measured and he was very eloquent and made his point very clearly and uh which is also annoying too because people are like oh he hates veterans or he hates white people it's like he never said anything he just basically said there are injustices uh systematic racism people dying and he would like that to stop or be recognized i got into a it's funny because like back-to-back weeks i had a debate with people about colin kaepernick with the other side yeah racism yeah i've had uh white people i went to high school with unfriend me on facebook because of defending colin yeah this week i get shit on my black people for oh really defending lita oh but um and i told randolph i was like i lost all my street cred over

fucking lita but but like it's worth it man but like the point like i wanted to make like with the kaepernick thing is yeah somebody was saying that you know it's so disrespectful to the men and women that lost their lives for this country well it's like you know it's so disrespectful to the men and women that lost their lives for this country well it's like you know what he probably feels the same way about you know his you know black family members or black friends that have like been on the other side of racism or have been killed in the racism and then also it's let's not act like the military has always been uh on even keel with racial issues like there are tons of people that fought in world war ii that were

black and came back and were still treated as second-class citizens i mean even still to this day you know and so you can't act like it's like yeah they're over defending our freedoms and it's like well so at no point he was making a stance about the military no not not at all and then also too learning that the our fucking our national anthem was written by a slave owner well i didn't know i didn't know he owned slaves but there is like there's a whole verse they cut out that said like right smile i read that article what did it say like it's basically like we smile when slaves that uh defects to the british side die basically and so they had to cut that out right and then also how long do you think we've had the national anthem like how long have we been using that as a country

it was before 1776 right uh no we adopted the 1812 that's when it was written but we only made it the national anthem in the 30s really so it's only been our national anthem for like 80 years and people act like it's like the bedrock of this country interesting yeah i didn't know that so maybe it was around and people did it but it's all right it's yeah because i know i know the whole thing written in fort mchenry yeah it was it was battle like 18 oh i think it was 1814 i think now you're just splitting hair yeah no but yeah first they cut out he's like we'll stick a boot in your ass it's the american way when they brought that back right he's like america stays hanging and bang uh yeah but that's the thing too it's like the fucking anthem they picked it in the 30s like

it's not like it's always been around that's when it gets me to like with the whole like gun debate too where people say well it's like our founding fathers met the our founding fathers also owned people yeah like let's stop like uh looking at these like archaic things and start looking at what we could do to drive things forward and make it better it's yeah it's it's really dumb to be like oh no that's a perfect document they're perfect people no shit was pretty fucked up they couldn't imagine what the fuck life was going to be like two centuries down the line. That said, Colin Kaepernick needs to show some respect to Lena Dunn. Yeah. All right.

And that goes for the rest of you out there listening. Who hopefully you are still listening. I'm bad at improv. Yeah. I was like, yeah, what he said. I could play a game of zip zap zap. I'm like zip. And you're like, I'm bad at improv.

All right, that's been our show, everybody. But yeah, that actually has been our show. We've got to wrap it up here because you've got to get over to Magoobies and save Ellicott City. Yeah, so like us on Facebook. Share the podcast if you're nasty. Say hi on all the social media and all that stuff. And we'll talk to you guys next Monday. Enjoy your holiday. We love you.

David Koechner. Take care. Day Crushing Sessions. Coming to an end. សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីបានប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, oh yeah