The Digression Sessions - Ep. 202 - Pre Election Dummies (@JoshKuderna @TheeMikeFinazzo)

Episode Date: November 10, 2016

Hola Digheads, like a couple of dummies we recorded this pod on Tues before the votes came in and boy did we call it!*   Get it all the way fucking wrong*   So, enjoy our little naive podcast capturing a better time in life. See you out there in the nuclear winter!   Follow the podcast, Josh Kuderna, and Mike Finazzo on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.  Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram Mike Finazzo - @TheeMikeFinazzo on Twitter The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on iTunes & Stitcher plz!

Thunder Grunt Podcast Network Hello, this is Nigel from the Tony Cornaggia Show And you're listening to the Digression Sessions Did I say that right? Do I get paid now? Can I leave? Oh yeah, give it a go Oh

Give it some hot takes Hot, hot takes Red leather, yellow leather Red leather, yellow leather i'm getting warmed up yeah you're into it yeah feeling good i'm feeling it today are you yeah you're in the zone i'm in the zone if you look at my facebook feed i've been on fire all day all day blew my wad before i got to the podcast there you go that's what's important though it's all about the likes yes you got to do stuff for content mike finazzo absolutely my co-hosts as i sit here yeah my name josh kaderna the podcast

die oh do you want to do it am i doing one you do i was just i don't let's let's do it at the same time okay and the podcast is digression sessions okay that's what it is what the fuck i got it with mark maron what about done talk done talk what do you think of that i don't know how i feel about it it would be uh it would be a podcast based out of dundalk called done talk have podcast hit dundalk yet i don't think so you're still listening to 98 rocker i was i was in exactly that? Yeah, it was a good one. I think the construction is still doing mornings over there. Construction workers at Dundalk and White Marsh are keeping it alive. That's all it is.

In all seriousness, when I'm making that joke, they're listening to tapes of the old morning show. Yeah, yeah. Because they think. Kirk, Mark, and Lopez. Yes, exactly. Deep local reference cuts. I don't like the Schlegel. So it's like sounds like a Jew to me.

Too high brow like Justin Bagel. Hold smear. Shout out to Justin Schlegel in the 98 Rock Morning Show. Good people. Big, big time. I would like to have that fell on the show at some point. It's in the works. You know, Justin was going to be on the show.

Yeah, he said. No, I'm just kidding. He's going to be on eventually. Actually, at some point. It's in the works. You know, Justin was going to be on the show. He said, no, I'm just kidding. He's going to be on eventually. Actually, so I was in New York over the weekend hanging out with our good buddy, Scott Macklin. Speaking of the Jews. Scotty Mack. And our good friend, Mike Normile. And we recorded like a 20-minute podcast called The Baltimore Voice where we all played characters and did the Baltimore accent. It was actually a lot of fun.

Yeah. It was pretty good. How are people going gonna hear this uh i don't know right now it's just on scott's google drive so if you hit him up i'm sure he'll give you a link possibly uh you can't stream it yet you can just download it off google drive i think that's for the longest time that's how people thought they should get this podcast as you you said, Scott Macklin, a Facebook message. Yeah, that's how you do it. And you're like, can you share this from your Google Drive? And he'll get back to you three days later.

Yep. Yeah. Yeah, first you have to add him on Google Play. You got to be a part of his circle first. And then once you're in there, he might trust you enough to get the podcast. But, yeah, one of the things I said was or the suggestions i threw out was done talk for a podcast for like a bunch of uh baltimore trash but anyway it was uh so look for that in scott's google drive if you if you get a chance in the coming months talk coming at you 2017

exactly well actually so done talk was uh i can't i said my my cousin i i think i may i forget the cousin's name i said he had a podcast called done talk based out of done talk so maybe there'll be a spin-off podcast i don't know um but yeah so took a little uh time off not intentionally but um so many rumors about what's been going on on the podcast yeah yeah they're like are they fighting like another gap like what's going on is there gonna be another mike is tommy simbazo gonna be mike simbazo yeah the the a special thing record for just blew up with digression sets and rumors another dig sesh beef we're like beef sash oh my god um no uh yeah. So we recorded one, and then I think it got pretty salty as far as the language goes. I noticed I've been told some of your coworkers enjoy the podcast.

Oh, yeah. Shout out to my boss who's probably listening to this podcast. Our newest listener. Yeah. By the way, when I texted you that, it wasn't shitty. My boss is the coolest person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was just like, so I texted you that, like, it wasn't shitty. Like, my boss, like, is the coolest person. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she was just like, so I hear you're hilarious. Oh. And I'm just like, yes. Which means she's like, I've seen zero indication of that. Yeah. Well, that was, like, another thing was, like, I only, like, talk to my boss. Like, I don't talk to anyone else at work because I'm never in the office. Okay. And, like, Friday we had this, like, all staff meeting.

And we do these, like, kudos. It's, like, shout out to, like like Beth for getting five placements or whatever. And like one of the kudos was. First of all, don't say whatever about Beth's accomplishments like that. I don't want to belittle Beth. Yeah, please don't do that. She listens to the done talk podcast. But one of the kudos was shout out to Mike.

He's the funniest person I've ever met. And I collectively just felt a hundred people in a room go, what the fuck? Him? Yeah. I get that at work too. It's like, Josh is a comedian. They're like, what? Yeah.

Yeah. It's like, I would just like to keep to myself mostly if that's okay. Yeah. So my boss was like, yeah yeah i hear you have a podcast and in my at that moment like i just like went through like a quick like montage like how your life was just terrible things every awful thing i've ever said on this podcast yeah never about work i don't think i've ever shit talked my current job shit talk work it's just uh what you say might be as the kids say not suitable for the works.

A little salty. I mean, honestly. Like cum. No, I'm just kidding. Right? Yeah. Okay. Certainly the first thing I thought of was I talk about my butthole like almost every podcast.

A lot. Yeah. That's kind of your go-to. You kind of have a butthole corner on the show. Yeah. I mean, to be fair, you tee it up. I tee it up. I'll tee it up. To be fair, I'm be fair, you tee it up. I tee it up. The butthole, not the talk.

I tee it up. To be fair, I'm responsible for that fissure. I rips it up. I get nasty. And you try to heal it with your salty cum, but it just makes it all worse. What a vicious circle. Am I right?

I think we're calling back something that hasn't been on the podcast. Well, a deep cut. Get on Scott's Google Drive if you want to hear that one uh so um yeah it's uh it's always a weird uh feeling uh telling your co-workers you do stuff that is outside of work that may be deemed quote-unquote salty as you say i had that the other day i was uh walking out to my car and a co-worker was uh walking uh i was leaving the building she was walking in and she's like oh hey and i was like hey how are you she goes uh we were just listening to your podcast like my heart just like dropped it's like oh good and uh i was like which one

doing the same thing just like scrolling through my my head of all the awful stuff we say, which isn't that bad. But it's like if you get a sound bite, you know what I mean? If people are talking over it and then you just hear like, oh, what's this? I mean, for new listeners, nothing we say is worse than the GOP presidential candidate. Oh, I don't know. He said some good stuff some really really good stuff you want to make america great well apparently uh it is great again i don't know i mean we're recording this before the results come in oh

yeah people are hearing it after yeah this is after so you're either getting this as you normally do through whatever device or there's some type of rusted out can in a nuclear fallout. Yeah. People are going to find this recording years from now. We're just like, we before the world. Right. Exactly. Man, you know, it sucks when your boss knows you do stuff.

That's like starting nuclear war with everyone um yeah it looks like uh i don't know it's weird people are going back and forth between like being super comfortable like ah yeah there's no way she's gonna lose and i'm like it seems a little scary to me but uh i'm not gonna be really comfortable until it it's very obvious that she's close to the 270. Even then, like... As far as electoral votes go. See, I'm not comfortable in the sense that I don't think this is going to be over tonight, no matter what happens.

Yeah, that's another thing, too. It's not one or the other. It's not like crushing defeat or just this like exuberant victory you just kind of might get election blue balls and have donald trump refuse to do a concession concession speech you just know the tough word for braces by the way like she could get 60 of the popular vote and win 35 states and he's still gonna claim it's rigged yeah i'm gonna get these you know tens of millions of people that are going to vote for him

no matter what, even more pissed off. It's just not going to end tonight. Also, everybody's already listening. It's already happened. The people that are listening are like, what are you guys worried about? It was fine. She killed.

He gave a really graceful concession. It was really weird. He pulled off his mask and realized that he was andy kaufman the whole time yeah he took his wig off yeah he was just like hey i was that was all performance piece uh you guys all bought it i just wanted to expose that 45 of our country uh pieces of i was thinking about that today like what if during his concession speech he was like i was doing this to prove that you're all pieces of shit i drudged up the grossest segments of society.

Yeah, it's really fucking insane to be like, if I don't win, it's all rigged. Obviously, I'm going to win. It's like despite what all the polls are telling you and everything else. It's pretty scary. But then again, you're listening out there in podcast land or on VHS, how you listen in Dundalk. It's a podcast somehow.

The election is over and won. That's where I'm going to post. Just have Hillary won the election. But yeah, so it's going to be a scary night. But I don't know, man. What do you think? You think she's going to be a scary night. But I don't know, man. What do you think? You think she's going to do it? I feel better than I did last week.

Once the polls narrowed last week, I felt really shitty. And part of it really is just depressing to think that even if she wins, she's losing 25 states. And that's really depressing to me to think that like... Yeah, well, how many did Obama lose? Probably that much, right? It was, and he did better electoral-wise in the second election.

Yeah. But I mean, pretty much no matter what, a Republican's gonna win 20 states in any election. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Like Bob Dole, I think, was like the biggest blowout. And like Mondale, when he was a Democrat, like lost big, but still like um like bob dole like i crushed by clinton in the popular vote still won something like 18 20 states gotcha gotcha and

like tonight like there's no way he's losing middle america in the south oh yeah that's what depresses me to think that like there's still gonna be 50 million people to vote for this guy oh yeah and it's it's bizarre like we were talking about before the podcast we know somebody that's like well i just hate the clintons it's like that much that you would let that fucking guy get in like that's insane we could say who it was it was chelsea chelsea yeah yeah she's just not a fan she hates it yeah chelsea clinton I guess that's just specified for the joke. I can take that again. Somebody's going to be listening.

Why are they just talking about their friend Chelsea? Like Chelsea Short is voting for Trump? Excuse me, sir. Boo. Come here, buddy. Hey. Boo's fired up. We got a fierce guard dog.

He's like, yeah. Trump 2016. Boo's like, you feel. Come here, buddy. Come here. This is good, good, a fierce guard dog. He's like, yeah, Trump 2016. Come here, buddy. Come here. This is good, good, good pod. Sir, come here. Hey, pump the brakes. He always does this little growl afterwards.

He's like, fuck you. Hey, hey, get over here. God damn it. Thank you. Hey! Hey! Get over here. God damn it. Thank you. Where were we in this great political conversation? We were talking about the election and just like how many people are going to vote for him. And that's like despicable. Yeah, yeah.

And I love what Seth Meyers did where it's like, because people keep doing this false equivalency of like, they're just both awful. It's like they're both equally as bad. That's what you think like and then when seth meyers like listed all the terrible shit that that he's done boo stop oh i think there's a cat out there that he's all right i gotta cover this up finazzo fan keep talking so i think that trump is bad for a number of reasons. And I know what you're thinking. It's weird talking, but no one in particular is listening to you, which is what we call podcasting. But I like the podcast.

Old school radio. Okay. The kids are coming back from the war. Joey DiMaggio is missing out on the best deals of his career. And Boo is going ape shit boo is running around it's all right i'm i'm gonna be for the listeners at home i'm not a fan of this dog it's bit me several times it's kind of nice to josh doesn't listen yeah really but uh you can usually listen but on this one uh it's like oh it's recording let me uh let me show off a little bit also he could be he could be like two years old or like

five years old there's no way to know he could just be which is a big difference yeah he could be a year yeah especially when you weigh like nine pounds like he does he'd be a brand new baby boy or just a grizzled old man i've been burned by this dog a few times. When you're upstairs, it's like rubbing up against me, like wanting me to pet him. And I was like, you're just lulling me into a false sense of security. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I was like, Mike, come on, get a little closer. What, the Seth Meyers thing about the false equivalency? Yeah, just listing like all the stuff he's done, like saying that we should ban an entire religion, like over a billion people from coming to the country. All Mexicans are murderers and rapists. Let's see. I mean, there's just so many to name.

Anything he did would normally sink another political candidate. Every week he did something. That's the other thing. I remember when the first election I really followed, and I was in high school, was 2000 with Gore and Bush. Yeah. And I remember the turning point of that election was during a debate when Al Gore sighed

because he was irritated with George Bush. Yeah. And I was like, that ended what he did? And even the McCain-Obama debates. I remember at the town hall, mccain was uh he's like i voted for this and he's trying that one yeah he goes and that one talking about obama like and that one did such and such and that was a huge thing like whoa that one or i remember um is seeing clips of it in 92 i think it was 92 with george bush senior looked at his watch during

a debate right and people like went ape shit they're like that is not the decorum that a president should have and it's like meanwhile like we have a guy that if you look at those debates constantly interrupts has the worst body language is so disrespectful at every level threatened to put her in jail but you know what's even worse he doesn't know anything no like it's not even like i could even handle it if it's like this guy's a blowhard who talks out of his you know ass at times and he's rude and disrespectful but you know what he knows how to do the job he knows his shit at the end of the day nobody can say that guy doesn't know the issues but he has no idea he didn't even he barely knew what aleppo was he's like has it fallen has it fallen yeah it's fallen it's fallen it's like you don't even know what you're talking about it's just

nuts and i do think that there is this how everybody talks about the like the liberal media and the bias it's like i think that the media has created a series of these problems one of which that hillary is this fucking monster yeah i don't think she's the greatest and i didn't know for her in the primaries yeah but i don't i think that if you look at like how much she lies and how much how much corruption there is in her background yeah it's less than most politicians exactly like because she's been such a public figure for so long 30 plus years like what what what she's done is way worse like she didn't know how like her server works i i mean i get that that's fucked up or

whatever but this guy when somebody asks him about um whether he uh molested or uh did what did he do when all those chicks came forward what's the proper terminology sexual assault sexually assaulted uh a woman his defense was like she's a little ugly huh i don't think i they're not my first choice it's like what like if one candidate said that like just offhandedly they're fucked yeah and then like that dry like the whole crowd's like yeah she's ugly what a bitch it's, this guy is such a fucking asshole. It's incredible to me that people are like, well, I mean, they're both pretty bad. Right.

And that's, again, why this election drives me crazy. Because when Obama got elected, to me, there was so much hope. And I, in a lot of ways, felt inspired. And a lot of people were yeah it's also like look at america to be able to actually i i know like his approval rating globally is so high because like other countries are going look at america actually like i found a man they literally gave him a nobel peace prize just because we elected him right and he knows it too he's like i'm still wondering why i got that but okay right but like to actually see like you know america can elect a person the united states can elect a person of color yeah and actually like get

like we're not that far removed from the civil rights movement all these awful totally and then you like you think well look how far forward we've moved and then like this election cycle has just reminded us how much bigotry there is with not just like minorities but also with women and just like how prevalent like racism and sexism is yeah like well like a lot of people have made the point and i agree too that it's just kind of the last throws of like you know it's it's like the like the bully realizing like everybody's growing up and getting older too and like they're not the big man anymore it's like no this is bullshit i hope so like i feel like it's just it's them realizing that like america is not

all just for the old white guy you know what i mean yeah i hope so i the thing that worries me about trump is i don't think it's all the old white guy it's not yeah you're right it's not but i feel like that's what like carried a lot of it i mean but that's why he has a ceiling and uh that's why he can't reach anybody like there definitely are i mean there's people our age for sure that are like nah we just need like a different voice in there like i remember one time i was at a grocery store and i think this guy was drunk but um uh first of all he's buying a ton of pedialyte that's all he was buying and he was like making conversation to people that were not talking back to him and he's like trump trump this is that uh the checkout line he's like he's gonna change stuff he's a businessman and everybody uh who's mostly black there by by the way, was just like, uh-huh.

Like kind of not engaging. And it's like, I know your audience too. And he just kept going. And he's like, he's a businessman. He's going to change things in government. He's going to bring in every agency because he's a businessman. He's going to bring every agency in. He's going to have them go over

their budgets line by line if they can't justify it and he like made this chopping motion he's like he's gonna cut him it's like no that's not first of all it's not how it works second of all there's no there'd be so it would take so long to do that and also congress appropriates the money so like every year the president submits a budget for all of the agencies and it doesn't matter because it's a you know what i mean it's like he doesn't know like he thinks that like trump's just gonna be like this authoritarian like dictator just like at the drop of a hat just change everything but that's like another thing that's like depressing about this cycle as well is like how like divided everything is from a party standpoint right and

like growth not only like divided in terms of people disagreeing but like the republicans are just saying we're not going to let you do anything oh they already did that to obama too well there was one guy that was like we're going to impeach hillary exactly ron johnson said yeah and and also put like even if you look at it like so obama picks a reasonable supreme court nominee and he did didn't he pick somebody that was like moderate very moderate but like he was already didn't he uh go through the cycle once before with like a republican senate or like there's republicans on record saying this guy's great republicans on record saying you know obama could pick someone reasonable like this guy you know like he's gonna pick you know fucking

lance bass transvestite robot um but so he picks a reasonable company they're saying we're gonna let democracy yeah that was a solid reference but um but instead so the republicans are saying well we're gonna let democracy play out let's you know the election cycle come through which is total horseshit oh and now they're saying we'll go four years without letting hillary it's so ridiculous um like that's what bothers me and the fact that it's like even if like you know our person does get elected like nothing's gonna happen like yeah exactly because that's a that's a crazy thing too about the the 2012 election like obama won but then pretty much all of the house and the senate

state because fucking democrats won't vote in midterm elections which yeah yeah like we had a chance to actually win the we yeah you know our team yeah we at the dnc yeah no but like the democrats could have won the senate and the Congress back in 2018. It just no one turned out to vote. Back in 2018, this guy. Look at this guy. Look at this guy. This is Nambla all over again.

I wasn't going to mention that, but all right. It's all right. We felt embarrassed about that for three weeks. No, but after 2012 and 2014 in the midterm elections there was a solid chance when we signed the nambla agreement i hate you so much but i hate me more i like when i go with these runs and it's like man mike's like really intelligent actually you could tell he reads stuff yeah and then i say something like projecting two years into the future oh you fucking idiot you don't know nothing do you this is why i'm a lowly open mic comedian no you're not no you're not

independent filmmaker you're uh you're a you're a feature you're a headliner thank you in my heart and in clubs too uh no you were you were making a really good point and uh you were about uh nafta as well you just had a slip of the tongue i'm sure there's tons of people have said nambla when they meant to say nafta oh yeah i'm sure it happens all the time i was listening to keep it at 1600 they did it seven times all the time yeah it's a running running joke on there just kind of offensive they stole it from us but that's's okay. But yeah, man, it's depressing, but hopefully this keeps people engaged for a while. But who the fuck knows? How are you, Josh?

I'm doing okay, man. I have just a bunch of well-to-do white guy stuff. Yeah. I'm under contract on a house. Congratulations. Thank you. People say that, but it's like i don't know it kind of scares me i i mean i feel like it's just gonna fall apart like as soon as i get it everything's gonna suck i mean i'm a year older than you and i don't own a house so but that's okay but anybody can own a house you can put three percent down you can put three percent down on a house i could have you know gone into foreclosure on several houses by now exactly exactly no it's just such a i just hate

i hate being sold stuff like shopping for a car or things like that where like you know people are full of shit and they're like condescending at the same time but they act like they're on your side like well mike you know like you like to drive fast you know just like shit like that it's like just speak to me like a human being that's why i totally just cut that shit out when i bought my car oh really i want a honda civic uh-huh i went online and i'm like car max has four of them nice the one by my house has four of them yeah i'm like i went there i was like look i'm not looking to negotiate i just want this car that one over there looks good. Can I test drive it?

Test drove it. Half hour later, I'm like, I want this. Nice. Hour later, left the goddamn lot. Wow. Nice. I really did leave my house at 5, and I was back home with a new car by like 7.30. Fucking A.

Yeah, that's kind of what I did. I did that with a true car, though. Yeah, but you probably did. I remember you sent me links and shit you were going back and forth on shit like you knew you wanted a prius yeah i knew i wanted a prius so like i researched and then true car is actually pretty good but you get a little bit of that with true car because you put in what you're looking for and then so you go through dealerships that are associated with that and the cool thing about true car is whatever you print

whatever they say like you are offered this so you bring that into the dealership and they can't do anything more than that they kind of got me because i was looking at like just a newer prius but there's uh prius one two three and four yeah and so i was gonna get a prius two and like well we don't have any on the lot but we have a prius three and i was like yeah really you don't have any too they're like of course i'm sure they had like 55 in the back right but uh so i i drove the three and then the three had like extra shit or it might have been like the one or two whatever it was had like a couple more things like a rear view camera and shit like that and then i liked the car and then i ended up spending like an extra like thousand bucks or something like that so it was

like whatever but i it wasn't actually that bad of an experience but yeah i think when i all said and done it took like an hour yeah hour or two um but yeah with all this more like i didn't even know about mortgages and like origination points and stuff like that and like it's just uh like people send you these quotes what's going on fella um the uh yeah but but stuff of like people send you these quotes. What's going on, fella? The, yeah, but stuff of like, people are tuning out now. Like we don't care about mortgages. But anyway, yeah, I've just been bogged down in like paperwork and shit like that.

And you just get like nickel and dimed here and there. Like I just paid $400 to have a house inspected, which is like, you have to do it. But also the guy doesn't do too much my guy was like kind of thorough but uh he said there might be a problem with the roof and now the seller i'm like hey you should fix that and they're like like no i don't want to pay for that it's funny because they're telling me they're like yeah we don't want to um uh we don't want to fix it because we're broke it's like well that's on you so you can either buy your house because i don't want to fix it because we're broke. It's like, well, that's on you. So you can either have me buy your house.

Well, you're going to fix it because I don't want to be broke. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So yeah, I'm going through that. And then work stuff is, works actually, works pretty good. Went to New York over the weekend, like I said, and saw Oh Hello on Broadway. I hear it's wonderful. It was really good, man.

And they have a special guest every show and uh andy richter was on mine oh that's awesome yeah because they were in town because they did the shows at the apollo yeah yeah exactly yeah so uh yeah we went to a matinee and uh andy richter was the guest and he was great and uh um i was i did have a little bit of fomo as the kids say uh because tina fey was the guest the next night which would have been really new but uh but uh no man it was i was really impressed they they were uh they do a bunch of shit where like they make fun of like over the top broadway productions and stuff and like they do a whole thing where they do like uh they even call it out like now we're gonna do a nightmarish ballet

scene in hopes for a tomy so like they act all this stuff out and uh it was it was really good they that's funny they did a um they did a reference to um uh rosemary's baby because there was like a because their whole thing is like tuna their whole show is called too much tuna and so like a little tuna thing shows up and they're like oh it's like an evil baby it reminds me of uh oh fuck what's uh what's woody allen's ex-wife's name mia farrow yeah it's like reminds me of mia farrow's baby because she was in rosemary's baby and then they just look at the audience and he goes uh he goes soon ye he goes that's the one that's it was like right after this six sunni burn we will dance it was it was really good that's awesome um but yeah it was cool so like

buddy quit it um they uh fucking dog you can't even see anything what are you barking at um yeah but it was just uh it was it was really good they'd make fun of all like the tropes in the beginning they're like they like it when um when like a character reveals he's sick because uh he blows his nose into a handkerchief and then you see blood oh no he's very sick so they would do stuff like that so they called it all out in the beginning and then they actually did that stuff at the end it was a lot of fun fun. That's awesome. Yeah, it was good. But yeah, pretty much nothing to write home about. Just a good time hanging.

Good time. Did some karaoke, which was fun. What was your karaoke song? Mbop. Of course it was. You better believe it was. You better believe. Well, we actually, so we did a thing where you can rent a room and hang out and do karaoke.

That's what Laura did for her bachelorette party. And it was actually fun. We did it once like kind of just like spur of the moment like a few months ago. And I think we paid for like an hour and a half or something. Like it's like eight bucks a person for an hour. And it's BYOB. We're like, oh my God, it's so cheap. And we had a blast.

So the second time we're like, well well let's do it for like three hours and that was too much yeah i can imagine that was way too much i think an hour and a half sounds good hour and a half turns out to be the best amount of time how many people was this uh four it was me scott mike and karen and uh scott's the only good singer out of us so yeah yeah i don't know why that surprises me why i don't know but well one because you're a musician yeah but i i don't focus on singing boo stop hashtag scott macklin is a good singer he has a hashtag he has a warm round tone i like scotty mack he's a good guy i'd like to hear his golden pipe someday. They're very good.

You should come to New York. We'll rent a room for three hours. No. And also, we were kind of drunk, so we thought it was funny to just exchange words with dick. That was a lot of fun. So that was a good time. A nice adult, just people right around the age of 30

screaming dick into a microphone this is what north of 30 looks like exactly so what have i been up to some really good stuff uh yeah then i'm like working on music it's i didn't do any comedy last week i feel like uh i feel like a piece of shit about that but um but yeah all this like house stuff is just kind of like bum me out like dealing with like mortgage i mean it's just a lot to take in it's so much overwhelming yeah But yeah, all this house stuff is just kind of bummed me out. Dealing with mortgage. I mean, it's just a lot to take in. It's so much fucking. It's overwhelming.

Yeah, exactly. You can't do it. Exactly. Once you get through the 29th or whatever. Well, now that might get extended too. So there was something wrong with the roof. And so the seller basically was like, well, no, I'm not not gonna pay for it because i'm broke and uh so they're hoping that the the seller's agent is trying to convince them to take whatever money it would

cost for the roof to get done um and subtract that from the closing cost so i would pay less at settlement and then basically i would just kind of pay out of pocket to get the roof fixed. Yeah. Yeah. Which I'm not, not really a fan of per se, but it's, it's like I would just spend the same amount of money anyway at settlement to get like a nice house. So it's kind of like six and one half a dozen and the other kind of thing. So if they don't agree to that,

I'm just going to walk away. Cause like that, I don't give a fuck. So like, it's not like I desperately need to get a house. Your lease isn't coming up or anything. Yeah. i i spoke to my landlord so i told him i was leaving and they were like really bummed and stuff so i told him you know it's not a guarantee but um but yeah man that's uh that's pretty much about it just kind of trying to work through

all that stuff and like seeing who is telling the truth and who's not via mortgages and stuff. And when you compare it, because you'll have three different people and be like, all right, they're quoting me at this. And I'm like, oh, man, them, huh? Wow. A lot of people out there are liars, but not us. We tell the truth. It's like, okay, so everybody else lies except the person I'm talking to

and all this stuff. But I like my broker a lot he's really cool and i don't know i'm trying to oh trying to work out you know what's going on with you oh you so you voted today to go back to voting i'm excited to hear this story i did save this for the podcast i'm excited to hear this yeah so i didn't have time to early vote so i went to vote today didn't have time for america i know um so i had to wait in a long line uh-huh and the way like the line was set up is like it started outside of it's like the local elementary school right and so the line goes outside. A place you're familiar with, huh? For sure. Yeah.

But so yeah, once you, the line extends all the way from outside to inside the gymnasium. But the thing they don't tell you is once you're in the gymnasium, you have to like get your ballot from the official. Yeah. And then you have to go vote. And then you have to scan your ballot. There's one scanner. Oh, that's dumb. So once you vote, there's another line to scan your ballot there's one scanner oh that's dumb so once you

vote there's another line to scan your vote so like once you're in the gym you're in there for another 45 minutes so did you have paper ballots this year yeah i did too i thought that was just because i uh went because i voted early yeah i care about america um uh yeah uh i thought that was just that polling place where you fill it out old school because for a while we've had the the computers yeah it's been yeah yeah as our bad hombres like to say yeah so anyway so like we're in line and we it took like an hour to get into the gym and so i noticed that like the person getting their ballot, it's just like Asian lady and she has two kids. And we overhear like the official saying,

I'm sorry, you're not registered to vote. And like trying to explain it to this woman who obviously is sweet, but like doesn't speak English very well. And as this is going on, there's been this group of people wearing all red. They're the biggest pieces of white trash you can i know what's big done talk podcast fans exactly yeah love kirk market lopez

so they've just been like going on for like the last like 45 minutes to an hour one of them who's just like the biggest piece of white trash heaven it's for out of gears i don't know if i'm registered to vote oh boy it's been like an hour to this point and so she says this to the person that goes up to try to get a ballot and they tell her like i'm sorry you're not in our system or whatever and she loses her shit with that person even though she knew this was coming wow it acts like it's her fault gotcha you know me how like i'm like in my head i'm really inconspicuous and like eavesdropping and all this yeah i was so close the official said excuse me sir can we have some room wow because i'm just like listening just inching towards yeah and uh doing like the hulk hogan hand on the ear exactly i am a real american um yes so like the

lady which i think this is like in not this person's defense but like in general um i think there should be same day registration and i think it's dumb that if you go to a polling place you could register to vote but you can't vote that day so like there were a few people i saw like throughout the like time i was there whatever like this asian lady yeah like just like registered to vote and then left so she can vote in the future but not today but i just that's weird yeah it's weird like white trash lady like i by the way this is how long i was there she argues she goes and registers the vote then argues that she should be able to fill out a provisional ballot. What?

And ended up doing that. And then storms out and goes, This is bullshit. Provisional ballot? Yeah. Which doesn't mean anything. Exactly. What?

I guess if she wanted to fight in court, that she should have been registered, but it didn't happen for some reason. But yeah, that made me so happy. That's pretty yeah and uh pretty clear she was gonna vote for trump huh i you know what i'm not trying to profile here yeah but yes also she she did say i'm voting for trump yeah yeah so we don't know a lot of people could say that yeah uh but i did yeah i was texting you this while i was in line like you are just like naturally profiling everybody at all the time yeah and i'm just like well there's no way that black dude's voting for trump yeah and i'm like these

four you know white trash people wearing make america great again hats are are you sure the black guy's not voting for trump because he keeps telling black people regardless of whether they asked about it that inner cities are hell you keep hearing that he also says that black people love him and no one loves black people more than no one and then whenever there's one black person in the crowd he'll point them out saying there's my black person there he is there he is yeah i just love that like anytime like during the town hall the one guy was like uh what are we going to do about health care costs and he's like inner cities are terrible you know this like what he just keeps saying they're like oh my god okay um yeah well anyway i shouldn't talk shit about our new president.

It's crazy, man. I am going to be relieved when this shit's over. I know. Yeah, I think I'm just going to... Yeah, Karen's coming up. And I was actually thinking about going down to D.C. and then just like hang out outside the White House because if Hillary wins, it'd probably be a good time down there

um but i was like let's just get a bunch of food and stay inside because i might just be really depressed yeah but uh no i'm gonna be really excited when it's over but of course like you said it could be a whole fucking blue ball situation i don't think it's gonna be over tonight i really don't like i don't because i don't think it's gonna be a landslide i do think she you asked me earlier and i don't think like... I think we both think she's going to win. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't see her taking 30 states and winning 60% of the vote. Right.

So I do feel like there's going to be four or five states that are really close. Yeah. He's not going to do anything until those are completely decided. He's also trying to contest like nevada and they already shut that shit down yeah i know for the one case right oh well yeah there was a few accounts on it yeah it's just yeah it's it's like he's already trying to like he's like the kid when you're playing video games with him and i've done this too but when you know you're losing you just try to like say the game's messed up or just turn the system off yeah yeah it's like oh it doesn't count like he's already trying to be like no like i haven't been which you own the game so

i don't play it that much you know yeah but you know why he like tried to shut down the thing in nevada or it was like early closing times or something i saw that was one of them there was a long line for early voting yeah the polling place which is legal there kept it open to let the people in line vote and it's not like that everywhere like in maryland they have to shut down at eight o'clock if it's eight o'clock but like some places like if there's a line they'll stay open an extra half hour to make sure that people didn't just wait for nothing yeah nevada's one of those places that he's saying that's not fair it's a liberal district they let those people vote that shouldn't have voted he's so full of shit it's like no that's what the yeah

also the stuff that he lies about like the did you see the video thing yeah that's insane yeah like that really is like the definition of gaslighting oh it's just none of it none of that happened it's so amazing that he can be like i never said that it's like we have video of you saying you know you're right like uh that's the one that bothers me the most i don't i'm sorry if we talked about this on another podcast but i swear to god if you mention your butthole not yet then we have our own segment for that yeah um it's doing okay today but uh but no like the balloon not that was a solid balloon not reference um no the uh the thing about the disabled reporter yeah and he'll flat out deny it he's like i didn't say that i don't but like how yeah it

really does drive like or like stuff that he's tweeted like i didn't say that it's like we have to tweet like what that was like i was watching real time with bill marr and of all people like i thought martin short had like the best point he was like yeah if it's a drug company or a tobacco company they have to put in their ads what's real and oh yeah and he's like i think it's even more dangerous for a politician to be able to say whatever. And no one could be like, no, that's bullshit. Yeah, exactly. There should be some kind of regulation.

Something. Yeah. And I hate that. Like, that was a big issue with the debates. This also shows where the Republicans are coming from. Contesting, like, calling people on facts. Yeah. To say somebody's wrong factually is apparently biased.

You're right. It's like, no, that's what a moderator should do yeah and i like that too that they're like this liberal media just uh just distort it's like no they're just quoting yeah it's crazy and i actually thought that the best moderator and like i thought he did a really good job of being um balanced was i thought anderson cooper did a great job moderating those debates he can do no wrong exactly hopefully come on the show anderson i don't think he runs his own twitter i would love to talk to that guy sure he was a great howard stern guest i probably wouldn't be able to talk to him i just get lost in those swimming pools he calls eyeballs i saw him in new york once he's a

beautiful man yeah uh um uh ddm local uh baltimore rapper of bond street district uh also a gayman he ran into anderson cooper while he was in la it's like he's uh he's gay right and he just goes bitch please okay he told a great story on uh howard stern but he was like 15 his mom took him to like in like 54. Jesus. His mom was that lady that made the jeans. I think it was guest jeans. She created that.

I thought that was from the Nazis or something. Wasn't it? That would be a great twist. Google Anderson Cooper's mom. She's really famous. She's a Nazi, right? It's Ava Braun. She popped it out cooper yep oh my god she got remarried after she killed herself um but no his mom's a nazi ghost it's even more impressive his mom was like a gene designer an artist and she was like no like apparently she was like the Kardashians before the Kardashians.

Like she was like famous for like being like a New York socialite and shit. Gotcha. Gotcha. So she took him to like Studio 54 and like Michael Jackson, who was like also a teenager, was just there dancing. And Anderson Cooper was talking about this one, Howard Stern. Uh-huh. And he was like, this is how like Asperger's-y I was as a teenager.

I was like, that guy's really good. He should do that for a living but like meant it like genuinely but i like that guy and i thought like during the debates like i like that he was like no you're not answering the question answer the question yeah because that's what everybody was screaming at home and also shutting her down as well like that was an even debate yeah i yeah i thought that was fine um it's uh yeah and again hopefully she won by the time this comes out everybody can breathe a sigh of relief but holy fuck it's it's been uh it's been pretty scary especially with that piece of shit comey being like it we got new emails it's like no you don't even have new emails the fact that that i

think that that's the scariest one of the scariest things of even have new emails the fact that that i think that that's the scariest one of the scariest things of this whole thing is the fact that the head of the fucking fbi wants to be this much in the spotlight and it's a partisan issue yeah totally um and it's so blatant and it's so shitty and of course like even now like in the news cycle like liberal news like msnbc the headline yesterday was hillary clinton doesn't talk about the emails in her final day and i'm just like yeah she shouldn't be because it was a fucking non-issue weeks ago yeah and it's so crazy the whole thing just goes back to fucking anthony wiener too like because they they took uh huma is that his wife his wife's uh laptop right yeah because it was related to him possibly

like some type of like child porn because he was being investigated for allegedly texting with a minor they seized all of like their technology essentially right right so like we have new emails it's like no like you've probably seen most of these and oh god but yeah that was weird that i watched the wiener documentary which is actually like great it's amazing it's really good i highly recommend that and it's crazy to think like at the beginning of this documentary i was like this dude wasn't so such like a sick like sexual person like he i really do think he would be vice president like well spitzer had that too right spitzer was a well-loved politician in new york and he was actually like going after

wall street and all that stuff as far as what was the attorney general up there uh yeah yeah and the thing with um like wiener was like he really was like a rock star in the party yeah like had like the highest approval rating. And then when he ran for mayor, like it looked like he was going to win until he fucked it up. Like he was like leading in every poll. Really? Yeah. I mean, he's just a fucking addict, right?

And like he still doesn't even get laid off of it, does he? Like these are all. That's the thing was apparently it's all internet stuff. Like he never cheated on his wife. Which is, it's not like, I'm not saying it's more sad, but it's all internet stuff like he never cheated on his wife it's which is it's not like i'm not saying it's more sad but it's so crazy to me it's like you're not even doing the real bad thing like why do you need to like text this chick a picture of your dick like just chill like what are you doing yeah it's uh and then to think like but i wasn't watching a documentary going this guy's

gonna affect this election yeah exactly like two weeks later like yeah it's like a fucking coen brothers movie of just like the goofiness of how like that shit comes back that's oh it's insane crazy all right but i do feel bad for um like his wife like whom i actually in the documentary seems really cool she has to be right i mean she's stuck by his side through a lot and also like really she's also like another person that like like hillary clinton actually said in the documentary like i only have one daughter chelsea if i had a second daughter it would be whom i like these people are tight and like bill clinton married it was like the like reverend or whatever and like uh weeder at her wedding and yeah so

she came up to the altar he was like nice yeah exactly um but i'm a man of the claw yeah i shouldn't be doing this um but yeah like so this is like ruined her in a lot of ways it's like really all she did was like marry a guy who's addicted to internet poured and basically yeah uh yeah well hopefully uh all is well again in the world but uh well we got to wrap up here uh soon but um so yeah what's what's been going on with you i mean we we text every day we do we keep in touch yeah people we're not fighting we're not we're not it's cool our lawyers and everybody else handled it it's fine um my team's talking to your team we're good um we you know we're like opiate jib now we're communicating through our manager yeah and people think we're podcasting in the same room but you really like all that stuff with the dog was fake

we just added that in post it was really good yep it's like war of the worlds uh radio show yes that's what it was called yes the war of the worlds radio show and nailed it is what it was nailed it now i'm a good man just working on a few projects and yeah writing got the outlines yeah Yeah, working on the next movie. I'm really pumped about that and excited to keep working on that. What else have I been working on? Yeah, just working on movie shit mostly. Nice. Doing a little bit of stand-up here and there.

Yeah, yeah. I think, was that a Lost episode that we talked about? Gilbert Godfrey? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we both that a lost episode that we talked about? Gilbert Godfrey? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we both opened for him. That was fun. Yeah, that was fun. He turned out to be just a tiny, cheap Jewishman.

Yes. Yeah. Well, Thrifty. I respect Thrifty. I'm a frugal guy. Hey, he's rich for a reason. Yeah, I'm a frugal guy myself. So, if I ever become a millionaire, like I assume he is.

Yeah. He has to be close right i think andrew and i looked it up and he's worth six million dollars according to the internet i know it's not always accurate but i think he has a lot of i hear people can like bill burr and louis ck and burr kreischer say it's like not even close when but uh but you know but like to think like he's been in the game for 30 plus years afl, that Aflac money was huge. Had to be. Yeah. But yeah, he'll take the Bolt bus down from New York, and he ordered not only a dinner

at the club, but also lunch for tomorrow. Yeah. And a fan made him a t-shirt. He didn't understand it. So he left it at the club. And the fan afterwards was like, yeah, we gave him our shirt. Like, cool. Come to find out. He left that at the club. And the fan afterwards was like, yeah, we gave him our shirt. Like, cool. Come to find out he left that shirt behind.

But, yeah, no, that was a fun show. That was a good show. And he was cool. But, yeah, man, are you with Bert Kreischer this weekend? No, I'm not. Oh, right. He's bringing somebody. He's bringing someone.

Yeah. And if I find out that that person he's bringing is Alabama. Hey, it might not be Alabama. It might be Georgia. It might be Mississippi. You don't know. No. Yeah.

Regardless, go see Bert Kreischer at the Comedy Factory. He's one of the best club comics working, and he's hilarious. Yeah. And I might go hang out anyway, because I like Bert. And who knows? Maybe we can get him on a podcast. Maybe I'll email him. Okay.

Yeah. I'll be around on Friday. Is he just doing Friday, Saturday? I think he's just Friday, Saturday. Okay. Yeah, he only does two days usually. Okay, cool. Well, yeah, maybe we can try

to get him on Saturday. Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. Look forward to our next podcast when we say Bert wanted to do it. He just didn't have the time. But yeah, that would be cool. You have his email, right? I do.

And his email is? I'm not going to say it here. I'm sure. At gmail.com. I'm not going to say it here. Yeah, he'd be a great guest. Yeah, that would be fucking awesome. Well, yeah, I... The only thing I want to promote is I'll be at Ram's Head Tavern in

Annapolis on the 23rd, the night before Thanksgiving, doing a guest spot at... Is that the one Weems is doing? Yeah, I'll be doing a guest spot at the show at Ram's Head Tavern. It's going to be hosted by Rob Mayer, I'm pretty sure. Tommy Sambazo is the feature. Jason Weems is headlining. I'm just going to do a guest spot.

So come out to that. It's going to be a really good show. And then I'll be at the Comedy Zone that weekend too in Harrisburg with Some Fella. So if you're interested in Some Fella, check it out. That's what we call promotion. Yeah. And you know what? While you're on 83, go to therisburg comedy zokes i think their show

starts at seven uh no there's only there's only two a night or one a night now i mean okay well fuck josh's shows um i'll be at mcgooby's joke house that weekend with speaking of 9-11 steve ran as easy there he is tower seven himself uh yeah i'll be with him and uh somebody that likes hosting that show chris lawrence is hosting so it'll be a fun uh very white lineup yeah that'll be nice it'll be like chris i feel like chris and you could be cousins yeah yeah i don't know yeah it's funny i mean i like it we're vaguely you know looking like dirty white guys exactly um he's very nice guy and he's funny but uh yeah i'm interested to meet and talk to steve ran as easy and i i hope we get him on the pod you know i can't wait until the weekend after but you i think

he's just gonna flat out say no like i will ask him yeah when when we're there when i'm there yeah i always couch you with feel free to say no yeah we're there when i'm there yeah i always couch it with feel free to say no yeah we didn't ask gilbert though i think because it was awkward it i don't think we would have got much out of him because i mean when we tried to talk to him he was just very agreeable and he's like oh yeah i mean he's nice but i i don't maybe he would have done it but i think it would have been interesting i the gilbert thing would have been weird because we saw who he really is and we know the character he does yeah so like if he did the podcast would he have been the character i don't know because what he does his podcast he does like the character a little

bit yeah and he does it yeah so yeah like i feel like he would have been like in performer mode right right um but like ran is easy i know what At least one question I'm gonna ask When's the league Coming back That one Yeah But I don't think

He's like done Like a lot of shit So I don't I don't think He's gonna be like You know what I don't do that much press Yeah

I'm gonna do this podcast Yeah well He did his mea culpa On Howard Stern Yeah Next stop The dick sash But yeah I just we would have like

if we did get him on the show we'd have to talk to him he'd have to mention it or at least be like you know and all that stuff that happened let's say hypothetical i think we should say i know you have to leave in a second pick up your girlfriend yeah let's say i ask him and he's like i'm gonna do it but you can't ask me about 9-11 would you be interested in doing that podcast yeah because i would be like listen where were you on 9-11 2001 not gonna ask about 2002 not gonna ask you about 2003 see if he's got to couch it in that year but i think 9-11 was 2001 wasn't it no that's what i'm saying i'm gonna ask him about that year oh yeah but i'm-11 was 2001, wasn't it? No, that's what I'm saying. I'm going to ask him about that year. Oh, yeah.

But I'm not going to ask him about 2002, 2003. Not 2000? Listen, out of respect for Steve, I'm not going to ask where he was on 9-11. What about 9-11, 1999? I will ask him. Oh, I'll grill him. I'll put his balls in a damn vice.

You're going to Chinese water? Oh, I'll Chinese water. Yeah, exactly. You think those towers went down? He's going down. Call him Tower Six. That's what they call him. He's the next tower.

All right. Well, let's hope for that, that we get some good guests in the next couple weeks. And to our new overlord, Donald Trump, we've always said good things about you. Yeah, we've always loved you. And or to Hillary Clinton, nice pantsuit. That's a good look. Good look, America. And yeah, say hi to us online. Just look for the digression sessions.

Look for Josh Katerna. Look for Mike Fianazzo. You'll find us on various platforms and all that stuff. We should get a Vine account. I hear that's going to be doing great. Vine is blowing up. It's really blowing up. Hey, David Koechner, take us out.

Digression Sessions, coming to an end. Thank you. Oh yeah, oh yeah