The Digression Sessions - Ep. 211 - Finazzo & Kuderna (@TheeMikeFinazo & @JoshKuderna)

Episode Date: March 5, 2017

Hola Digheads, this week Josh and Finazzo do some shows, see some shows, nightmares at the oscars, and talk comedy ishhhh.   Follow the podcast, Josh Kuderna, and Mike Finazzo on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram Mike Finazzo - @TheeMikeFinazzo on Twitter The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on iTunes & Stitcher plz!

Hello, this is Nigel from the Tony Cornaggia Show, and you're listening to the Digression Session. Did I say that right? Do I get paid now? Can I leave? Oh, Sookie Sookie! Hello. The classic Dig Session intro, Sookie Sookie. Sookie Sookie. Oh yeah, hey Dig Heads. is a just a classic dig sesh yeah got uh josh

kuderni here how are you and then my main man in the bird dog seat mike fanazo how are you i'm good joshua good to see you good to see you thanks for coming over early man thank you i feel like whenever we do these really early there's a weird rhythm i like it it starts a little slow and then we start confessing to murders that we did halfway through it. So we're going for Making a Murderer Season 2. I think the audio version of it. We do it all for you, Scott. He's like, yes!

Scott's just waiting for a new dig sesh like Brendan Dassey. I just want to go home and watch Wrestlemania. I just want to go home and listen to my favorite dig heads. Oh, I hope they're okay. That's a really good Scott Macklin impression. I nailed it.

I practiced it a lot. What is he, like Dutch? Oh, I love my Dutch. That's me, Scott Macklin. Yeah, okay, now he's hot. Gosh, he's shy. Yeah, he goes in and out. I need to polish it up a little bit.

I hope there's a dick sesh waiting for me when I get home. Check out my new podcast, The Baltimore Voice, where i do this great ball more accent baltimore voice yeah check out the baltimore voice uh it is live on itunes now it's under the t-a-g-e uh network tage network really really fucking funny oh i really love this show you're a guest on it yeah you're an impromptu guest yeah i because he sent me a few of them before because they've been floating around like great yeah for a while it's like you want to hear it get on scott's google drive so no but i have a few random ones on my phone that just like pop up when i'm listening to music like what shuffle i don't listen to the

whole thing that's amazing because there's one of them i don't know if it's the pilot or what is what he called the pilot or like the second one yeah but it's only like 35 minutes long yeah yeah we try to keep them at like 20 minutes 20 30 minutes yeah but um but yeah like i've stopped i've come up with that on shuffle a few times and i'll stay and listen to the whole thing yeah scott's baltimore accent is so good it's so fun to do and you're just randomly calling your other friend a pedophile the entire time he got it pretty hard uh but yeah check out the baltimore boys check out the tage network um it's our our sister podcasts uh in a way and uh yeah it's it's a lot of fun because the baltimore voice is so it's so good because it's so bad. It's just like... It's just silly fun.

Yeah. There's going to be... There's no one famous with that accent. You know what I mean? Nobody that's done good. Joe Jets don't speak like that. Yeah, yeah. It's like, what?

Edgar L. Poe? Yeah, yeah. Nevermore, you dumb bitch that's what i said all right you know what i mean uh yeah like i was thinking about doing a bit about it but i think somebody has one already similar to it but yeah it's just like nobody's gonna be like so you know i found out there's no damn cure for cancer and i was like well fuck that i'm gonna cure cancer you know yeah yeah yeah yeah just like let just put some old bay in a petri dish and there it was got some damn cultures couple days later no big deal ain't no thing

but uh yeah i think bed carson would have been way more endearing like people would have been like oh yeah he is retarded like oh yeah let's cut him some slack we're being a little let's cut this braid open i bet you had a hood Yeah they had these damn Siamese twins I'm like what are y'all doing Y'all two different people Why are you touching all the time He's like let's save hood hon

Yeah what are you doing over there You're just stupid connected brains and stuff Y'all's crazy Well yeah man It's good to see you sir I hope everybody enjoyed the last episode With Pierre Benu It was very good It's fun when I get to see you, sir. I hope everybody enjoyed the last episode with Pierre Benu. It was very good.

It's fun when I get to listen like a fan. Oh, I like that. I like that. It was fun, man. That was me. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah.

So there's a big shit stain on the floor. That was me. We tell Fonazza not to drag his butt, but he can't itch his butthole any other way. You can't just leave me to my own devices, guys. Yeah, we try. But so the dog, I don't know how I'm supposed to. The dog, he has hair. It grows like a human's hair.

And baby can, never mind. But yeah, anyway, so his like around his butthole gets really thick this morning he went to go poop and then he didn't do it and then he came inside and was like what's up buddy and i just saw that he just had like a bunch of shit encrusted on his butthole so i went to uh clip said uh dingleberry and then as soon as i did that he immediately started pooping which was a lot of fun a lot i don't know how you start your mornings but maybe you should do it like that that's just another morning for you because you do that for umar every single morning that is like butthole hair like here let me clip your dingleberries little guy get over here little fella let me take

let me take care of you uh who's my little baby boy? Gonna have a good day. You just hear the screams from next door. Josh! There's something with my butthole! I have poop in my butt! He sounds like Aziz. And you're like, oh, it's gonna be okay. Like you talk him through like a sad parent.

Yeah, like you're gonna have a good day today. All right. Just tell your teacher that your butthole hurts. All right. But yeah, man, how you been, fella? I'm like, you're going to have a good day today, all right? Just tell your teacher that your butthole hurts, all right? But yeah, man, how you been, fella? I'm good. It's been a while since you and I have done this. It's been a while since we've even hung out.

I know. This is the first time we've been in the same room for like two months, I think, or a month and a half. We secretly hate each other. Yes. Due to the history of this podcast, there's probably like two people like, I hope Mike and Josh are getting along. I don't know.

Wow. Another beef session. You know what happened the last time there was a hiatus? Josh hates Mike so much. He just goes right through him. Yeah. Somebody, it was Chris Lawrence, sent me a message the other day where he's like, has anybody made the joke where like the new Digression Sessions, Digression Sessions spinoff podcast

is called Jeff Sessions. It's just really racist. And believe it or not, no one really thinks about our podcast. No, no. I didn't even think of that joke. But I do like that. But let's steal it. The Jeff Sessions?

Yeah. Yeah. It'll just be moderately more racist than this podcast already is. If you've listened to the show, it's already pretty racist. We're pretty. Yeah. We're just like Jeff Sessions. No, I've been good, buddy um working on a few different projects i've also been sick so i'm

finally feeling a little bit better that took like two weeks to kind of yeah so what was it just cold or i think i had like a bad flu or like walking pneumonia and i just kind of tried to plow through it what is walking pneumonia just like a really bad flu huh like where you yeah because like there's not like they don't give you like a shot this is where we fold in an ad for it so what do you do about it yeah well you see flownase really helped me out right really tell me more uh thank you for our new sponsor flownase god if we could get that flownade money yeah we could get any money yeah please i would be into it uh oh well well damn man i didn't know you were sick for so long yeah it was like the beginning of last week through like really like

now like i'm still like congested and stuff but i'm feeling like kind of normal yeah i can hear a little bit of nasally yeah like like a text because we still text every day we get along fine yeah yeah well we have to i mean for the show for the day for scott yeah we're gonna make this marriage work yeah i'm like i just want scott to be okay how are you doing josh yeah it's not uh it's not stay together for the kids stay together for the dickheads that's what we're doing um well yeah it was uh the other day like it was i guess it was like tuesday or wednesday like i was feeling kind of shitty and i didn't have anything to do at work so i was like i'm just gonna call out i could take a day to like get better yeah yeah and then

like the next day it was like the best i'd felt like it over a week and i still had like the walking on exactly yeah like i can i can walk down the stairs without hacking up a lot right felt better it probably was like 70 degrees out too or something exactly yeah yeah uh oh yeah i made that joke where i was like as soon as i left work that song gonna be the best day of my life but uh yeah so then the next day i come in it really was like the belt best i'd felt almost two weeks and my boss is like you sound sick you need to go home oh wow and of course i don't like i'm like i if you think it's best for the team i can't say no to you right right so yeah just trying to get healthy been working on some movie projects and some other

like freelance editing stuff yeah yeah uh yeah so you're building some camera rigs and whatnot oh yeah i've built three camera rigs that i really like it's fun it'd be funny if you just keep making rigs and never another movie like you just get this weird obsession yeah yeah exactly like look at this huh 360 view on this one you shooting anything no i'm just making some rigs um well cool man i'm uh so so the movie's coming along or like coming along is it all just in like still are you still writing rewriting and stuff soon we're rehearsing and stuff is it does the project have a name um it's called untitled oh dirty dancing too um it's uh no it's gonna be really good i think so yeah shoot it soon and we'll nice

and chris milner's in that chris milner's in it kelly has kelly been on the podcast kelly lloyd i don't think so i know she's a good friend of yours an improv uh troop member so you're with that very talented improviser um yeah mike black who's great and jay zack who definitely has a former member or uh guest on the podcast absolutely so yeah it'd be really good cool man yeah what have you been up to uh doing a lot of shows actually i was kind of in the middle of like a really good run of uh of stuff like um yeah one of the last episodes we did we were talking about like the feature weekend at mcgoobies and that was, like, a big thing for me, like, getting bumped up to that middle spot,

and the shows were, like, they were really fun, man. Mike Vecchione was really cool. And then kind of from there, like, stuff just kind of came together. Like, I got to feature for James Adomian at the Arlington Draft House for two shows, and then did the DC Improv for a weekend. And, yeah, it was really good. It was just, like, a real cool run of stuff. and now you'll do nothing for six bucks yeah exactly exactly yeah it felt like oh and then i got to uh open for michael ian black at the auto bar in baltimore and that was like

that was 347 people and the show started at 10 and like everybody was standing and i was like wow this is a really cool vibe like i almost for a second, I got Donald Trump and he's like, wow, look at all these standing people. Like, you know, I'm just a host. It's not like they give a shit about me. And I'm just like, wow, geez, everybody's standing. And the reason that I know it's 347 people is because Craig, the owner of the auto bar, really cool guy. At the end of the night after the the show we were hanging out by the bar it was me karen uh mike quinlan and craig and uh craig craig was like oh i gotta pay michael

ian black and so he he went back to go pay mike who was in the green room and uh he comes back and he's like oh god i'm an idiot like what what'd you do he's like he's like i i don't know like i mike's such a nice guy and i i'd like because we were talking about because he was paying us and like paying everybody he's like mike's such a nice guy and then i fucked up because uh because i was like oh do you do you want this to go to your like manager or whatever he's like i don't know just yeah just send it to him like he didn't want to michaeline black didn't want to know the number and then michaeline black goes sellout show. And Craig goes, ah, you were three shy.

Because sellout's $350? And Craig's like, why didn't I just let him have it? Like, why the fuck? It would have changed no one's life. Yeah. And like, I guess he gets like a bonus if it's a sellout too.

But so, but like Craig was like, I shouldn't, why did I say it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like legit bummed about it. Like, why do I keep, why would I do that? He was legit bummed about it. Why do I keep... Why would I do that?

He is a nice guy. When we did a test screening for Wits End at Kevin Brennan's art studio, he came out to that because he's a friend of Quinlan's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Quinlan came out and brought him. Yeah, very nice guy.

He's been to a bunch of shows, too. He does a lot of stuff that Mike puts together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, he was actually the one that booked me on the show and uh michael ian black was uh he was awesome man he was really good i was yeah the show started at 10 o'clock on a friday and everybody was standing the entire time that's awesome yeah it was it was a lot of fun yeah yeah um but uh yeah when i was on stage the monitors weren't on. So I thought the mic sounded weird. So the crowd, it sounded fine to them. But then while I was on stage, I couldn't tell if it sounded weird.

It sounded muffled, but I think that's only because the sound was in front of me. Right, right, right. So I was doing a bit, and then in the middle of it, I was like, all right, I got to say something. Because now it sounds like maybe I'm like two minutes in. And I was like, I got to say something, because if I don't acknowledge it like it's gonna be weird the whole time but if i do acknowledge it it's gonna kill the momentum it's like fuck i just gotta say something it's like doesn't mike sound weird by the way and they're like no yeah and this girl up front she goes it's okay calm down and i'm like i'm calm i'm fine like i want to know. So that was kind of a fun moment.

But yeah, Michael Ian Black was really nice. That's cool. Right before he was going to go on, we're kind of like waiting in the wings. And he hasn't said anything to, well, we kind of like said hi and stuff like that. And then we're just kind of sitting there. And then he walks over. He goes, are you nervous for me? Don't be.

I'll be fine. It's like, okay. That's very Michaelael ian black yeah yeah yeah he was uh he was cool man it's awesome so yeah it was like a really fun run of shows man and uh i did a show last night called vent in dc the dc draft house yeah yeah yeah it's kind of an interesting format like that's the one they do like earlier right yeah so it's the show it's i think it's every other friday at the dc draft house and it's at six o'clock which is early but the whole thing

is supposed to be it's like a happy hour thing like get a drink then you fill out this form of like shit that's upsetting you during the week so you can vent about it and uh apparently it was like kind of a weird show and like i got there in got there two minutes before I had to go on stage. I could feel the vibe was a little weird, but I was doing my set. Then people were a little chirpy a little bit, which is fine because I know the show is called Vent. They're kind of trained to talk. It was interesting because there were parts uh i was doing my tampon joke and this girl she goes the the whole bit is like as a guy like i'm making a sacrifice and getting

tampons whatever and uh she goes uh it's for the audience what's a tampon okay it's uh so women are the devil and uh somehow they bleed for a week a month and don't die. Explain that. But they plug it up with a big old cotton swab. I'm pretty sure it's a Q-tip for the pussy, they call it. Pretty sure. Technical. I mean, I'm just quoting what I've read on the box. Anyway, she's just like, it shouldn't be a sacrifice, you know. And I was like, well, all right.

Also, this is for humor. So, like, we got into it a little bit. Like, she's like, you should just do it. It should just be a thing. And then, of course, she was with a guy. And I was like, oh, I cannot wait to talk to this guy. I was like, how about you? Okay.

So, you guys are together. So, you want to kill yourself, huh? Yeah, yeah, kind of. And I was like, and was i was talking to him and they're together 10 months and i was like wow so like how many tampons have you bought or he's like i haven't bought it it's like well what the fuck's going on like you're over here ladies over here like uh you should i'm like look i'm better than your man all right and then like people were just kind of doing so that like kind of killed the momentum of the bit but it was fun and i was like all right i'm gonna i'm

gonna move on and this gay guy goes do the tampon joke and we'll let you know if we like it i'm like what the fuck is going on like it was these people that were being like so progressive but they're like conservative like and if we don't feel that it's liberal we'll murder you like yeah yeah that's weird so it was actually kind of kind of a fun thing and uh yeah it was it was interesting one one chick uh was venting about um there is some bill that uh that was in the house last year that would have recognized magic as like i don't know like a national wonder or something like that and she's mad that it didn't pass and i was like yeah that's why we're mad at congress like what the fuck are you talking we have way bigger fish to fry yeah but then i was thinking too like what if donald trump loved

magic and that did go like what a weird with his little magician hands yeah and also like what a weird thing for the international community too just like god trump's such a oh he's basically a dictator and then he's like i love magic magic is full of wonderment like and like that's why we recognize that uh magic is beautiful as a country like what but uh so yeah it was fun then we went and saw pat and oswald last night oh how was that uh it was good man you. You can tell he's still working through stuff. He did a lot of crowd work. Interesting to do crowd work at a theater.

Well, so he was doing... Yeah. But it worked well. Yeah. I was at the Warner Theater in DC. And so he did some bits up front. And can I spoil them for you? Oh, sure.

And listeners, are you guys okay with that? But he had a bit about Trump. Wait, Trump? I know, I know. And he was like, can you imagine if Trump liked magic? And I was like, I like this guy. No, he did the whole thing of how Trump doesn't even want the job of president so clear. He did the thing about the Rutgers.

Yeah, yeah. Have you heard that do that oh okay yeah yeah uh so the bit is that yeah yeah so the bit is like uh people have no idea what i'm talking right right right i just throw out three keywords yeah like oh yeah that's it moving on uh yeah so uh the whole thing was like what really like got donald trump going is that he was made fun of at the white house correspondence dinner by barack obama and he was like fuck that nobody makes fun of me i'm gonna take your job and he's like that would be like david lee roth being made fun of by the head of the english department or the no linguistics

department at ruckers and like i'm'm going to spend $30 million and get you a job. And then he's like, then he gets the job. And he realized he's like, you know, he's used to cocaine and hookers and parties. And so he gets there and like, well, actually we're going to discuss the syllabus and what we're going to do for the midterms. And he's like,

he did it, did it, but just kind of like, what is this? Yeah, he did that when he hosted the Writers Guild Awards. Oh, okay. I didn't see that. Was that the James Woods thing?

Yeah, yeah. Where he like, Patton Oswalt, because James Woods is like a hardcore Republican. Yeah, like super hardcore. And in passing, like Patton Oswalt's like, I'm going to tell this joke. I don't want to piss James Woods off. And then like halfway through the bit, Woods runs on stage right and um it was funny because

James Woods said something like I lost I lost half of my Twitter followers coming here tonight and Pat's like oh that's so sad you lost half of those egg avatars that's awesome yeah because that wasn't planned either no yeah it was all like spontaneous that's awesome yeah because that wasn't planned either no yeah it was all like spontaneity that's so good so so yeah so he opened up with some of that stuff and then he was doing crowd work and i was like this is kind of like talk to like three different people and then he goes like all right i'm just kind of fucking around because i'm delaying what this what i have to talk about and everybody's like oh and uh so they got talking to talking

about his uh wife that passed and he had you can tell like it's still really raw for him it's been like a year now right like which is still so raw yeah like he was talking at one point you can see him like kind of wipe away like a little like tear from his eye but um but yeah it was it was kind of a cool feeling too to have like a theater full of people like pulling for him and stuff um but he was still really funny and uh he had some great bits about like uh how all of his heroes because he's a huge comic book guy he's like my heroes were like sci-fi and and comics and bruce wayne and he's like all these superheroes that like go through a tragedy and then like well i guess it's time to get ripped and do martial arts it's like which is not true like yeah this bit is like and he's like fuck

bruce wayne fuck batman like batman he bruce wayne saw his parents get gunned down in an alley and like he's he's like well i guess i need to go off to taiwan and train like and then it's like what would actually happen is he would, Batman would just be the worst slam poet in Gotham. And then he just goes, bang, bang, in the alley. He's like, and the Joker wouldn't be the Joker. The Joker would be the guy like smiling on the side of the stage giving him the light like please wrap it the fuck up but he can't do anything because bruce wayne owns the warehouse where the show is or whatever that's so good

yeah it was great man and uh he told this really sweet part about um going to the cemetery and uh to see yeah he brought up another good point too he's like these guys are always wearing like trench coats and they go to like see their their loved ones they lost at the cemetery and it's raining and it's at nighttime he's like in cemeteries close at 6 p.m you know you can't you gotta like hop the wall to go see it he's making fun of like the security guard like seeing him be like oh it's this fucking guy again like dude we're open nine to six you can't come here during like dude we're open nine to six you can't come here during the day we're open all fucking day uh so he's talking about visiting

his uh his wife's grave and uh and he's like saying how he's like he just wanted to say it's like you those 13 years you gave me were some of the best of my life you also gave me our daughter who is like a true angel and changed her life and he had this whole thing he's like so i get there and there's an armenian family like four or five plots down i don't know what they're arguing about but they're arguing about something the daughter keeps pointing to stuff and the dad's just like no no he's like so i don't know what that is and then to the left there's a chinese family that has lawn chairs and they're eating pizza around a grave and they're listening to celine dion's my heart will go on on like a boom box he's like it sounds so tinny so he's like trying to like talk to his wife at her gravestone

and he's just like uh you gave me the best 13 no and then like it acts the celine dion thing like keeps going into it and then he's like you know what you're a ghost just follow me to the car and i'll talk to you there it was a cool like really like sweet story you know where it's like him i don't know it's it's interesting to see somebody like processing all that stuff through through comedy man. So it was good. But it's not like he has like a solid hour or anything, I don't think. He's doing a special, I think, relatively soon. Is he really?

Like I think like because they announced that it's going to be a Netflix special. Like I think he's filming it in the spring. Okay. I think he'll be there. Yeah. I think he'll be there. He tightens up shit quickly too. Like he's known for like he'll like tour and only do like 12 shows and then his hours done.

Yeah. I mean, I think especially now more than ever being like a single parent, like, right. Like he kind of, he's like, he can't go on the road.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking that I was like, I wonder where his daughter's family in Virginia still. So she probably, Oh,

right. Right. Right. He visits this area a lot. Like I see on Twitter, he'll post stuff about like, he's in Northern Virginia for one reason or another. Yeah, it was cool. Yeah, he was talking about doing comedy and stuff.

It was cool to see him in D.C. because he was doing crowd work and making fun of Vienna and stuff like that. And he's like, oh, what a local hack I am. He's like, oh, you're on Tyson's Corner at the Bird, the Bird. And it was cool, man. Yeah, because it was a late show, too. So, yeah, it was like, I don't even know why I'm up. I'm never up this late. Why did I agree to do two shows?

Probably because you got like tens of thousands of dollars. Probably would be my guess. But, yeah, it was great, man. It was cool to see him working through that. So it was interesting, like like prism of of comedy and uh yeah i think uh i think i mean he's gonna have a good special i'm sure you know that guy but anyway yeah it was uh it was a fun band so uh it's it's been uh been a been a good little run of comedy so like you said yeah now it's like now six months yeah that's local comedy it's yeah i feel like it

always comes in bunch and sometimes it's by design too like yeah you book shows around each other to get tight and yeah and then you have nothing yeah yeah yeah exactly exactly so it's uh yeah man it's uh yeah it was it was a fun run the dc Weekend was fun. And it's just crazy what people say to comedians that they think is, like, okay. Like, there's a lot of, like, I thought you were funny, but I didn't think. You know, and you're just like, why would you do that? Or, like, seeing them, like, shit on other comedians and stuff. They're like, you guys are great. The people last week were not. It's like, do you do that when stuff they're like you guys are great the people last week were

not it's like what do you do that when you meet like anybody else like like if you met like an actor or something like oh i hate matt damon movies but you're great tom cruise like jimmy kimmel would say that yeah yeah uh there was so uh the dc improv uh the headliner was uh jamie lee and she had a book out. It's called Ridiculous. And it's about getting married and all that stuff. And these women after the show, she's selling the books. And these women come up to the table.

And this woman points at the book. And she goes, you look a lot better on the book. What a piece of shit. Yeah. And Jamie Lee's like what and and then her her feature was trying to like cover up for and she was like oh she means like you look really good you know what i mean trying to like diffuse the situation like no you look ugly in person basically yeah yeah and like everybody was just like what the fuck and uh yeah it's just i don't know it's just crazy like the shit that people think they can say so uh yeah anyway but uh dc improv is good

good little good little run of shoes good little run of shoes so um you're gonna see logan today i hope i hope it's good i hope it's good i hope it's good too i saw get out which was fucking amazing yeah i love it man do tell i don't want to spoil it's one of those movies that it's better if you don't know anything going into or know as little as possible going into it this is about the movie is about getting blacks and minorities out of the country yes okay okay no so it's basically i mean all you have to know is uh biracial couple white girls taking a black dude to meet her parents yeah that's all you need to know okay and um see if you can see see it in a theater because it's best with a room full of people yeah yeah like i saw it uh it was on a morning too like it was like like a 10 a.m

screening and it was like 20 people and it was still got home got sent home from work yeah just sent home from work yeah um but uh yeah it was like just it's fun to watch a movie in the morning and it's getting applause breaks and oh nice it's just so fun to watch with people yeah yeah yeah um yeah movies like that like seeing jackass 3d in a theater is still one of like the funnest experiences in my life i would say jackass one's the most fun i've ever had in a theater yeah because it's just yeah everybody's just being like what the fuck yeah that's so fun um yeah i remember jackass one like i was literally jumping out of my seat during parts of it like you just couldn't stay still yeah yeah

yeah yeah like that's always like yeah to see it with like a group of people it's really fun yeah conversely uh so i'm going to see the movie with uh with my dad and my friend ryan and uh ryan has bad luck with like superhero movies we saw i think we saw i think yeah so we went and saw batman i think it was the dark knight and uh we saw it at the theater and uh ryan was sitting next to it like it was in colorado and this right here and uh yeah he just has the worst luck he got shot to death uh he was sitting next to this little kid, and the little kid just kept asking questions, and he was too young to understand the movie. So just a random person would be on the screen, and he's like, is that Batman?

Is he Batman? He's like, no. What do you know? I have something like that. When I saw Shitty Batman versus Superman, there was a little kid, and the theater kept asking his dad pretty loudly, when does iron man come yeah yeah then uh so we we i think we went and saw it again because he had such a terrible time and then there's a dude in the theater who made a phone call from his seat he didn't receive one made a call and he was And he was like, what's up? Nothing.

Watching a movie. Like, what? Like, he's, like, in his living room. We're like, Jesus fucking Christ. But it'll be interesting, too, because my dad's kind of chatty in theaters. And so we'll see how that goes. I try to, like, send him signals of, like, just, you know, like, big eyes and big eyes and like not saying anything just shaking my head because yeah we saw the avengers and he's like is the thing in this like kind of like as

a pair of iron man i'm like oh what also i don't know watch the movie yeah jesus did you see producer josh caderna on there just watch the goddamn if i was the producer of this movie we wouldn't be seeing it hit the rotunda at one o'clock that would be amazing yeah i'm on my cell phone what are the numbers like for the weekend what are we doing also it's the thing in this movie my dad hated it you know there probably are producers in that movie be like what's this shit about totally yeah i just invested so i don't fucking know it's like the so it's somebody i forget the dude's name but it's like somebody who's like a top advisor for trump uh-huh as an executive producer credit on batman versus superman and suicide squad and uh there's another guy that um i think the accountant too

uh i wouldn't know about there's a dude that's a producer on that too yeah i think sean spicer had something to do with suicide squad and then there's like another guy i think like literally the guy he picked for like treasury secretary or something is like i think that's it yeah it's like a producer of the accountant and stuff you know drain the swamp right right i was listening to uh sports talk radio yesterday on the car and it was some dude they were talking about movies it's some older black guy calls it yeah it was i just want to say moonlight and la la lamb are terrible and the accountant should have won every yas i was like and this is me ben affleck plot twist

but i was like man i don't even think the people that made the account were like this should win awards that's so great yeah because like some people if it's like a great action movie like movie of the year yeah obviously we never reward fast and furious a with oscars what the fuck uh yeah what did you think of that oscars bullshit well that's the thing i was sick so i didn't and i also we didn't buy last week's at an editing project all weekend and i was just exalt like i edited 20 hours on top of having like walking pneumonia i cannot wait to see your sex film very good it's gonna be weird when the guy gives me notes back he's like why did you just randomly

insert your clips of your dog yeah that's like yeah like weird tyler dirt and stuff right club right so like i went to bed like a half hour into it like like because it's on late anyway so it's like 9 30 yeah and i turned it off right after suicide squad one and i was like oh i can rest easy and it was more of like i d i know all i need to know and um yeah so i went to bed and i woke up at like 4 30 in the morning and i just looked at my phone i just saw the headline moonlight winds and shocker i'm like oh that's cool i like that movie yeah and i went right back to bed yeah and then a few hours later my wife i wake up to my wife going they announced the wrong movie oh and we watched the clip and it was it was as awkward as you think it is yeah i then but so i didn't see it when it happened but i was reading

about the next date i've quoted you on this but because we were texting about oh yeah yeah yeah yeah because yeah like i was telling you because people were like oh nightmare scenario at the oscars like nightmare it's like no trump's a nightmare yeah yeah this is a bunch of people that made movies are still gonna be okay and for two minutes yeah if you're like moonlight got robbed of its moment like yeah yeah but that part of the narrative bothers me because i think people try to add a racial component to that yeah and it's like it was just a mix up it's a mix up that like literally would it could have happened the other way it could have happened you know what like with bird man in boyhood or something no one would have like yeah yeah yeah yeah and then also like if you like ask the people

like i've like i really like the director of moonlight he's a brilliant guy barry jenkins and i've like listened to a bunch of interviews of his sets and like he's just been like it's the best moment of a life but i best of my life, but I really hope if the roles were reversed, I was as classy as the La La Land. Yeah, I thought everybody handled it really well. But yeah, just of being nightmare scenario at the Oscars, it's like, wouldn't an open shooter be the real nightmare? It's like for two minutes, stuff was a little like,

wait a minute, no, I think, you know, like, I just I don't understand that bullshit. What a nightmare. What's up, Umar? Hello, Umar. That's cool. Take care of your flora and your fauna, buddy. This is where we do our ad for probiotics. Oh, hey, it's Umar stopping by to get probiotics.

Wow. I guess that really keeps your gut healthy and that keeps your and that makes your brain happy doesn't it yes come on umar i'm trying to get this probiotic money and you're fucking it up uh what a great ad for probiotics and a terrible ad for improv yeah don't fuck up your gut health take probiotics yeah so yeah i just thought that was dumb and also uh and then everybody's like warren baity i'm like warren baity did nothing he didn't do shit he passed her the envelope and she was like give it here la la la that was one of my favorite lines as Kim will said afterwards.

He said, he goes, body or Clyde through body under the bus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, I'm not saying. I saw what he said too. He's like the big, like people are like, you know, disaster and all that stuff. He's like, I think it's really just more of an indictment on old people being able to see. That's all it is. Like, because he said that they actually had trouble reading.

Right. Yeah. Bill Simmons. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. people being able to see that's all it is like because he said that they actually had trouble reading right yeah bill simmons yeah yeah yeah and it's like ah yeah i just don't know because yeah it turns out they gave them the wrong cards yeah yeah and it's like how does that happen like all the tens of millions of dollars that go into that show yeah it's just yeah just dumb human human error um but i mean i it's also like I like both of those movies. I didn't see either of them. They're good. I think you in particular would like Moonlight. La La Land, it's like one of those things. What, are you saying I'm gay?

Yeah, I'm saying that you're a black gay kid. I wish, man. I wish. I'm saying it's going to remind you of our time on the beach. Hey, it's not a hand job if you love it. You know what I mean? It doesn't make any sense. You know what I mean?

You can love hand jobs. Well, then it's not really a job now, is it? It's a hand party. It's a hand party. Follow your passion, you know? It's not a job if you love it. That's all I'm saying. But I think for me, La La Land, it's like where there's movies that it that's all i'm saying yeah but like i think like for me like

la la land it's like where there's movies that i thought i was gonna hate it going into it because i don't like musicals and like nothing of that like appeals to me yeah and then like watching i'm like oh this is so well made and so good yeah like yeah it kind of like wins you over right so it's like i appreciate it more than i'm just like a fan of the genre or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like Moonlight's like such like an exceptionally crafted and beautiful movie. Yeah, it looks beautiful too. Yeah. It's one of those movies that it looks really good, but I'm trying to find the appropriate time. Because it looks like it's a bit of a bummer.

It's pretty heavy. Like that and Manchester by the Sea. It's like those movies where it's like they're great, but they're not really rewatchable. Right. Like they're like, yeahwatchable. Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Where it's like you've been like kind of just punched in the gut. All right. Well, thanks. All right. All right. That brought me back down to earth. Right. Right.

Yeah. So it's like like Karen and I've been trying to find like, you know, like come home from work and like, oh, let's watch a movie. And then it's like Manchester by the Sea, Moonlight. And I'm like, I don't know. You know you know i was a watch moonlight before you watch manchester by the sea yeah and then also um i i heard a little bit about manchester by the sea where it's like he basically gets drunk and burns down his house with his daughters in it and you're like oh good i mean spoiler alert yeah um yeah it's kind of better if you don't know that

i don't know i mean don't you think those girls were asking for it casey affleck's innocent come on yeah come on y'all hashtag stay ed with cf like yeah come i mean look at him does he look like a sexual predator? What's going on with that? I don't know much about that. So from what I understand, do you remember the movie I'm Not There, the Joaquin Phoenix movie they did? Casey Affleck directed it, and it's like a mockumentary about Joaquin Phoenix. Yeah, and it was like rich people being like, look at us.

We're Borat, too. Exactly. Yeah. So that was the tagline so like apparently like during like that movie there were two like female like crew members uh-huh that like casey affleck kept hitting on and was he married at the time i think he was divorced at the time gotcha i don't i know he's

divorced now so i don't i'm assuming because it's not that long ago well i'm sure those cases didn't help so right um yeah so like apparently like he hit on these like two girls and they followed sexual harassment suits yeah and uh like he settled them out of court or whatever and then like when he's like got nominated for this Oscar or won this Oscar, the story came back up, and people were calling him a rapist and a sexual predator,

which, I mean, it sounds like he was inappropriate, but it also doesn't sound like he was a predator. Yeah, what was he actually accused of? Because Karen's of the mind, she was like, well, I mean, he settled, so obviously he did it.

And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. It's tough tough to say because if you settle it's kind of like maybe it's like i don't want this to go to court you know what's funny is like i want to be like karen's wrong but that if it was like trump i'd be like of course he committed fraud yeah he's sad he's sad yeah exactly that's because that's the thing it could go either way. I think it also depends on what it is and stuff. Not every case is the same that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I mean, I do think that sometimes it's just cheaper to settle it than to fight it. Right, right.

And then it's also then it's like over too. Because it's, yeah, I don't know enough about it, but it is like kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don't thing. Like I remember the dude from Bright Eyes had to go through all that stuff it's like yeah yeah yeah yeah like if you get accused of that shit like you're kind of tagged with it already and like you're kind of guilty in the court of public opinion like out of the gate so i don't know i haven't i i figured you would know more about it than me because i haven't looked yeah i haven't followed it too much but like from one like for what i've read about it or what's been told, it doesn't sound like he's like Bill Cosby or something.

Yeah, yeah. He's not funny at all. Yeah, Bill Cosby, is it? Yeah, yeah. You see Casey Ive like in Ocean's 13? It's funny. Crushing it. Crushing it.

All right, all right. Yeah, I don't think I've seen any of the movies. You've seen Captain Fantastic? Yeah, that was great that was that was really good i dug that see that's a movie why i'm like glad like the oscars exist because like with stuff like that gets nominated more people see those kinds of movies yeah yeah but if vigo mortensen wasn't in that movie nobody i don't think it would even that's probably true even get made you know he was great in it he's so good he's good i re-watched history of violence it holds up oh yeah he's so great yeah yeah when he hits that dude that fucking coffee pot yeah hell yeah that's really good uh also uh you ever see eastern promises yeah yeah he's doping that yeah it's same director too i think david cronenberg oh

they're making a second one i think are they yeah they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're going to see him now, later, years later, actually entrenched in the mob. That's pretty cool. Hopefully we get another nude fight scene. Yeah. Right? I love to see Peckers in my fight scenes. Right? I love violence and I love Pecker.

You bring them together, come on. Should have won every award that year. Best fight scene with a pecker out. And then what they did like in the nominees for best actor, they show the clips, they just show his dick. Yeah, then they show Vigo's dick like wait, you know, like when they're announcing it, they show everybody in the crowd just his dick.

Right, right. And Vigo's dick wins. Yay. Well, yeah. Yeah, yeah i think captain fantastic is the only one that i've seen out of that like because i just keep hearing that it's either like like fences it's like decent but bummer uh here arrivals okay arrivals uh laura really liked arrival a lot i haven't seen i feel like that's one of those movies you just get high and you can enjoy it a little more.

I heard it's a really well-told story. Yeah, I heard it's just like Contact, though, basically. Yeah. I never saw Contact. Contact's dope. Yeah? Yeah.

Is that Jodie Foster? Yeah. She's like, I want to talk to aliens. That's my Jodie. Sounds like your Scott Macklin impression. It'd be nice to talk to aliens. What do you think, Mr. Lecter?

Most people are looking for a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, but I hope it's an alien. With a potato. Yeah. No, it's good. I like contact. What's it? Gary Busey's weird son is in it jake bucey jake bucey i've thought about that kid a long time he's gonna be a guest on the

program next week i hope i hope so hey hey guys we tried to get jake bucey couldn't do it so something tells me we could get him i think we could get jake i talked to him is he on twitter i probably everybody is yeah sure I think we shoot too high. We should really just shoot for like Jake Busey and Scott Cahn. Let's change the name of the podcast to Shooting for Jake Busey. Shooting for Buse? Shooting for Buse. A little bit of J-Buse.

Shooting Busey. That's all I'm all about. That shit. I like it. So getting back to like all the'm all about, that shit. I like it. So getting back to all the Netflix special stuff, do you think with comedy that we're going to have a little bit of a dip soon? This bubble's going to burst. Netflix is now doing the half hour.

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, they're going at Comedy Central. Nate Bargatze's doing a half hour. Interesting. I don't think I like that. Yeah. I think it does devalue it a little bit so it's just so much and now with louis getting specials chris rocks getting special and chappelle's gonna have two specials come out three because he has two vaulted and he's filming a new one but two are gonna come out like the same time right like next week oh i thought they were spreading them out i don't know i thought it was going to be three within a calendar year

gotcha gotcha gotcha um but still that's fucking wild too yeah like i mean with stuff like that like with those three guys who are like the biggest in comedy like when they're doing it's like i think that's great for comedy yeah when they're just trying to kind of keep up with content and put out because there are times where i put in, well, I'll turn Netflix on my Apple TV. Yeah. And it'll be advertising a special of a person I've never heard of before. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally.

So it's like stuff like that. And then when you watch five minutes of the special and it's not very good. Yeah. That's bad for comedy. Yeah. That kind of devalues the platform. Yeah. Do you think it's bad to us, though?

What do you mean? Like just bad to like if what do you mean like just bad to like if other people that aren't like so into comedy are like i like it oh see i think it's the reverse because that was my scott macklin president i like it i like it no see i think it's bad because i think like the average person that doesn't really know comedy is gonna see this heavily advertised netflix original special this comedian you've never heard of watch it it's gonna suck and they're like oh this is what comedy is i don't want to watch yeah yeah yeah um yeah because there are people that i don't even think headline

comedy clubs that have original netflix specials yeah which gives me a little hope exactly conversely because there are some people that like will get like definitely i'm like well they're getting a special yeah they're gonna be knocking on my door any day any 20 million dollars coming to the nines man like i mean because i get it when it's like uh like gabriel iglesias and like louis chris rock and chappelle and like patten will do his new special when he did his last one on there like oh that's great yeah and i think when you like have like a brand and you're just getting people like that it's like adds like such value to what you're doing yeah but then like i thought bill simmons this is with netflix in general like bill simmons had like the best analogy where it was like netflix can't buy like huge marvel movies

it's like watching like football like in their draft picks it's like you can't you can only have like a handful of first round picks what netflix does they just get like a hundred third round picks yeah and if a few of them hit it's successful so that's what they're doing yeah and they have enough money to do that so i don't know let's make uh marco polo right every episode will cost a billion dollars the shitty drew barrymore show oh right right right yeah yeah but like i think it's great for like uh like netflix and amazon basically bought every movie at Sundance this year. Oh, no shit. That's great.

Yeah. It's giving platforms for those movies that are going to get seen now that probably wouldn't be seen. And for their model, if one or two of those are really successful, it's great. And then, yeah, did you see that Netflix also bought the new scorsese de niro pacino movie no shit 100 million dollar budget jesus and uh yeah they're it's going to be released at theaters that can go right to netflix yeah they have a big will smith movie coming out too yeah yeah which like looks like a legit movie it looks kind of shitty i saw a shitty well i saw it with it yeah i saw it with the sound off and it was just interesting because it's like oh this just looks like a bat like i can hear him being like so there's a gun huh like you know like it just

looks like he's just like i'm will smith like i don't know looks i think is it a scientology movie too i don't know i really don't know anything about it interesting like it looks it looks sci-fi but it looks like bad sci-fi the trailer trailer I saw where it looked like Hancock. It just looked like this little movie. That would be amazing. All right. Well, let's wrap this thing up because I have to poop. Okay.

That's my new sign. Let's wrap this thing up because I have to poop. Good night, and I have to poop. Good night, good luck, and I have to poop. Is there anything you want to plug here at the end? Witsandfilm.com Of course, of course I want to plug Umar Good to see you, hey Harry

Yeah, that was a double entendre I had to trim Boo's butt hair this morning Really? Umar, oh yeah, yeah Because he had a bunch of poop in it What did you use? Did you use my thermos? Yeah

Damn What? No, I used scissors, no morning umar oh yeah yeah because he had a bunch of poop in it yeah what no i use scissors no from last night but me i don't know is there um you silly man you wild you wild but finazzo is joking that i also do that to you to trim your butt hair. It's like, all right, get in here, buddy. Just got to get the dingleberries out every morning. At the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.

Like, get my boys in here. You're like feeding me doggies. Yeah. Like, I don't want to. Like, the sooner you get up here, the sooner we'll be done. All right? He has you guys side by side to make sure you match. Yeah, exactly.

Now, you eat your lunch today, okay? All right. Be a good boy. See you. Well, yeah, man. This has been a nice little catch-up sesh. I think it's been a good sesh. It's been a good sesh.

Usually, I walk away feeling kind of bad. I don't. Usually, I feel terrible. I feel terrible i'm not gonna text you in 10 minutes asking you to cut anything so what's a good one um all right yeah well everybody uh digressionsessions.com say hi on the facebook page uh twitter at dig sesh pod and uh i'm on twitter and instagram at josh kaderna say hello uh we like hearing from you. And I don't know what show. We have a show next week. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So Friday and Saturday, I'll be at the Comedy Zone in Harrisburg. And then on Sunday, I think it's at 7. Yeah, 7 o'clock. At the DC Draft House, which is actually becoming like a really good spot for uh for comedy i like what they're doing um but uh so it's a benefit show put together by my good friend pete bergen very funny guy talented improviser in dc and uh it's for uh natasha's project i think that's what it's called and uh so it's to benefit uh victims of sexual abuse and i think they provide money for like rape kit testing and stuff like that.

So yeah, it's a really good cause and I'll be doing improv up top and then my man Mike is going to be headlining. So come out to that. It is March 12th, 7 o'clock DC Draft House. And then March 14th through 16th I'll be

at Magoobie's featuring for Joey Diaz. Oh my god, those shows are going to be fucking bananas. It'll be my third time opening for him. Wow, we gotta try to get him on the show. I think it's one of those things like he doesn't pay attention to Twitter, but if I ask him in person on Thursday, I think

Ask him on Thursday, and then let's do it in between shows. Actually, I bet he's going to be doing a lot of handshaking and pictures and stuff. He does have rabid fans. We'll work out something. I'm sure we can get him. I think peak Joey Diaz would be after the second show where he can let loose, be comfortable.

You know what I mean? He's always like that. I've never seen him not stress but not have a time constraint on it. The first time I opened for Joey Diaz, he offered me pot and said, a shit so good, dog, that if Robin Williams would have smoked it, he'd still be alive right now. Then apparently, he told someone else later,

this shit's so good that if Robin Williams smoked it, he shouldn't have killed himself. Said the reverse of it. God, suck it. Also, the one time you worked with them it was when uh uh bola was around right wasn't there like recently an Ebola scare or was it i wasn't a bola uh what what was the thing that uh mosquitoes had um west now no the thing that was giving like kids the the tiny heads when they're born. You know what I'm talking about?

Oh, I don't remember this. Fuck, what was that called? People right now are screaming. God, was it Ebola or what was it? Fuck, man, I forget. Either way, he came out. He's like, I'm tired of this fucking Ebola shit. Everybody, hey, cocksucker, I ate pussy raw in new jersey in the 80s or something like that like and i'm fine fuck you and everybody's like yeah that's how he like opened the show and people were like yeah yeah he's like the because of

the rogan podcast i think he credits with a lot like his fans are like so loyal and like so sincerely for him that yeah i've seen the same people every time right it's the same with burt too it's a lot of crossover there yeah but like when they like wouldn't like uh well this case it'll be like andrew will say and your headliner tonight is joey d like before the show starts yeah people will literally give that a standing ovation yeah the fact that he's just in the building yeah yeah they just love him and he's great like my sides hurt from laughing yeah he's so funny. Just like a genuinely funny person.

So, yeah, dude, if we can get that, that would be so fucking rad. Congrats on those shows. That's going to be, like, that's insane. It's, like, probably going to be sellout shows every time. I think he'll draw really well. Yeah. And it's a good time of year, too. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, fuck yeah. So, yeah, go to those shows. Get tickets now before they sell out. And hopefully we see you guys on the 12th. Thank you for listening, everybody. We love you. David Heckner.

Take us out. Digression Sessions. Coming to an end. Thank you. We'll be right back. Oh yeah, oh yeah