The Digression Sessions - Ep. 218 - Dual Podcast With The Baltimore Voice!

Episode Date: June 2, 2017

Hola Digheads, this week Josh sits down with Charles, Ronnie, and "Handy" from The Baltimore Voice. It's a dual podcast!   These guys are up and comers in the podcast scene and it was a pleasure to talk to them.    Together we protected this house!   Follow the podcast and Josh Kuderna, and Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on iTunes, Google Play Music, & Stitcher plz!

hey how you guys doing welcome to the digression session josh kaderni here your faithful host and uh this is a special podcast this week so i'm joined by some up-and-comers in the baltimore podcast scene some guys that came to my attention after they emailed me repeatedly about what big fans they are of the show. And I was happy to have them over. And guys, why don't you introduce yourselves. It's the fellas from the Baltimore Voice. Hey, how's it going, everybody? What's going on?

It's Charles Linder from the Baltimore Voice. Alongside me, as always, is my intrepid co-host, Ronnie Rory Alabaster. It's good to be here. Oh, my God. I thought I knew the shores of the dig session would be sunny and nice, but I had no idea they'd be this good. When the digression session has brought us into their bosom, they have done it in a comforting way. Yeah, it was like, if I'm going to be in any bosom, it better be a big one. You know, better be a nice big bosom. Yeah. And the dig session, they got one.

Digression sessions has a huge bosom for us, which for us is graceful to be embraced by. Okay, fellas, that sounds good. Also, I'm Andy Hole. Okay, hey. Now, Josh, we call him Andy Hole. I know, I'm familiar with the Baltimore we call him Handy. I know. I'm familiar with the Baltimore voice. I'm a big fan.

I'm a little actually agitated that Handy just butted in right there. You guys are really on a really good tear. Yeah, me and Ronnie. That's what happens on air podcasts is me and Ronnie get on a roll, and then Handy just comes in unexpected. And sometimes it works, but most times it don't. I'm still learning, okay? Yeah, no, you're very good you know and uh you're a little more handsome than you give yourself credit for i was picturing

a really fucked up face really i look at him as a real big uggo yeah it's all the bricks that i've been hit with in the face it happens okay tons of bricks gives me a rose he's a josh he's a brick layer uh-huh and he just gets tons of bricks smashing him in the face. Over the course of my career. But I'm sorry. I don't want to interrupt you, Josh, in handy. I don't mind interrupting. I just want to thank you guys for having us on the digression session. Oh, definitely.

I don't want to butt in on you, Charles. Yeah, you're good, Ronnie. I'm pretty excited, too, you know? Like, wow, we're fucking doing it, you know? We're actually here in the big leagues on the dual podcast with the digression sessions. It's like we've been playing AAA ball and all of a sudden the Orioles come down

the fault and can't be on. We just got called up. We got called up to the major leagues. Hit a couple bangers. Go for it. Do it. It's air time to shine with the help of the digression sessions

on the dual podcast. That's really nice of you guys. I think it's a little much, but I appreciate it. that's really nice of you guys like that's uh i think it's a little much but i appreciate it that's really fucking cool and uh i'm excited you guys are podcasting and uh i didn't mean to be rude my friend scott is here as well hey guys scott macklin's a big fan of uh the dig session i'm sure the baltimore voice too right i do love the baltimore voice uh i'm not a regular guest on the digression sessions but i do listen every week yeah and i'm a huge fan and happen to be here when you were recording so there's a

microphone in my face so uh yeah this is kind of kind of a big one and uh you know it's pretty good though i think we have a good time i've so far we're having a great time yeah i mean we're having a good time i guess yeah it's good to see you, Scott. I've heard you on the podcast before. I know that you listen a lot, and I listen a lot to the Dig Sesh. Who done listened to the fucking Dig Sesh? I'm a number one fan. I'm fucking pumped.

No one's a bigger fan of the Dig Sesh than my man, Handy. I have a subscription. First podcast I download every day. I listen to the Baltimore Voice, and Handy seems like he's a number one fan of a lot of different things. I'm a passionate man yeah clearly tell you that he loves that as much as he loves getting bricks to the face and he fucking loves taking bricks to the face hey i just want to give a shout out to our sponsor science kirk and miles we don't really do ads on the show i mean i mean we can but you know i don't know well i'll just say well hold up hold up hold up now handy is not koof like me and ronnie but he does bring up a good point that we have sponsors that we are obligated to sponsor yeah so sponsors we's obligated to sponsor so at some point and if it's cool with you josh and cool

with you scott well listen i mean you know i i won't apologize for handy too because he wasn't being very he wasn't mining his p's and q's over there no which we told we tried to make sure he was mining both his p's and his q's but it doesn't seem like he's mining neither. Yeah, but there are crowbar and ads in there, you know? It's just like, what are we going to do? Start talking about the fucking beautiful billboard over to 7-Eleven? 7-Eleven, Hamden, hon. That's right. If you guys need to advertise anywhere in the Hamden area,

why not do it over to 7-Eleven in Hamden, hon? Like, could you imagine we fucking did that? Yeah, that would be so uncomfortable. All right, well, I just want to apologize to Josh and Scott. I haven't. It's okay, man. I'm sure you guys are probably teaching the media classes at CCBC with how good you guys are at hosting podcasts. Actually, it's just kind of self-taught.

It's kind of like you guys, you know? Yeah, I don't have. I've been trying to get into CCBC. They won't let me in. I heard about that. Yeah, basically, I guess your check bounced. I don't know. I don't know how I'm I've been trying to get in the CCBC. They won't let me in. I heard about that. Yeah. Basically, I guess your check bounced. I don't know.

I don't know how their system works. It's very complicated. What happened was they saw took one look at handy and they were like, no, I'm not going to happen. Dumbass. His face is going to be a fucking distraction. So they kicked him out of there. Yeah. Yeah.

So, you know, anyway, good beer, you know, good beer you know fuck love baltimore yeah pools are about to open up yeah thank you so much josh for being here but i don't know how you boys do it but we have an agenda where we like to stick to it yeah i actually kind of prefer that because our show i mean it's called the digression session so there's a lot of it's just kind of all over the place right is that what that means that means? That's what I love about it. Yeah. Yeah. It's free-flowing. I love that it rhymes. I thought that was a big point of it.

Yeah. That's how you get people to pay attention because it rhymes. That's a tool of the trade that we happen to use quite a bit on The Bottom of Voice. Right. I mean, but yeah, it's just kind of a free-flowing conversation. So I'm just talking to you guys about whatever you want to talk about. Hey, well, all right. All right.

So pools are opening up, though. Yeah, handy. We handy we already brought that up like let's progress into i've told you i'm trying to learn from okay so let's just talk about some fucking pools then should we talk about pools i mean i heard pools were starting to open now all right well what do you guys want to talk about with pool here's the thing it's getting to be summertime and the pools are opening and all the kids are running around in the pools what i don't understand like i always go to a pool too but i go to ron he's above ground pool in his backyard i'll tell you this uh you know a lot of people like oh this is the weekend they open up ain't mine ain't never close never fuck close you know i mean mine stay open like a hole that our running backs run through.

Always open. Big. Big open. You know what I mean? It's a hole that John Hennig didn't used to open where he would make a huge hole in the defensive line and Jamal Lewis would probably run right through it. Right fucking through it. And that running back, he who shall not be named.

Ray Rice? Yeah. You're not supposed to say yeah you ain't supposed to say his name josh guys sorry i just wanted to follow the conversation i didn't i didn't uh yeah i didn't realize that you could have you could you're not supposed to say ray rice's well what he fucking did was real fucking bad yeah he shouldn't have done it he should have got caught on tape first of all foremost secondly yeah secondly you never want to hit a woman no no and if it's gonna be on tape two strikes especially if it's on tape never hit a

woman yeah that's obvious never okay but fucking anyway i got a goddamn pool it's open and um you know sometimes the water's green sometimes it's not you gotta get in the fun out yeah i got i got myself a above ground pool pool that Charles mentioned earlier. It's actually pretty rare because it's made out of brick. I built it myself to help promote my business. Yeah, Handy did build it. Andy, don't call me Handy Brickling. Are you crowbarring a plug for your own company in a podcast?

It's just natural. Josh and Scott, I apologize for this guy. He's clearly unprepared to be on a professional podcast. I thought I slid it in there naturally. No, it was not natural. It was horrible. Trying to take over the goddamn podcast. He's getting a little bit of celebrity now. People know him, you know.

People actually, Josh, believe it or not, people contact me all the time and they say, I want more handy. I want more haney i want more haney i don't know if it's because he's so dumb it's funny or because people actually like his personality i i kind of like i think he's a genuine guy he obviously loves sports you know big fan yeah skip jack's baby whore yeah yeah it's kind of infectious he has loved to skip jack since our youths okay all right yeah i mean yeah you know you're a big fan of this and that but you know you can't He has loved to skip jacks since our youths. Okay. All right. Yeah. I mean, yeah. You know, you're a big fan of this and that, but you can't fucking crowbar all that time. Yeah.

So, Handy's pool, by the way, it is made of brick, but it has no filtration system. Nope. So, it's gross. Most of the time, we just don't go in anymore. Yeah. He's got like a fucking oversized fucking koi pond, basically. Algae and all that in there. Tons of algae.

It's gross it's real gross i'll be honest so you know anyway i'm just gonna spend time in my fucking pool if y'all want to come over that's cool i'll be out there in my room having a good time ronnie i can come over i can come over also yeah y'all come out you're gonna come out done dog yeah why not you gonna come out sure all right come out done dark then i'll be out there in my room in the back i'll be pointing laser discs at the sky trying to get lasers to reflect off the sun and then murder Ben Roethlisberger. I've heard that you like to do that also, but I have a question.

Yeah? If I come to your pool, can we drink some bows? You fucking with me? No. Okay. Y'all's a comedy podcast. So you's fucking with me. You got me, man.

I think they're having fun. I think they're having fun. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You guys yeah you guys have fun okay yeah can we drink some bows here's a fucking thing my above ground pool you know it's full of what natty bows i swim in it yeah yeah he uses bows as flotation devices for his kids we've been known to swim with bows flotation devices that's what i call ronnie that is a brilliant name thank you for your bows that are in your pool trademark trademark josh that's how trademarks work if you didn't know you just say an idea and then you shout trademark after it and then no one can take said idea i did hear about that yeah that's how that's how that works yeah that makes sense so uh yeah if you want to

invite us over to your pool i'll go to your natty bow. Yeah, it's real nice, too, because you take a swim, take a sip, take a swim, take a sip. It's superb if you like to get bow deep, which we like to get. Speaking of fucking superb, we just had a

couple guys go down to M&T Stadium and fucking rock it. Now, I'm not talking about Joe Flacco. I'm not talking about Joe Flacco. I'm not talking about no Ray Lewis. I'm talking about James Hetfield and the boys from the Metallicas came down and fucking killed it. I would like to stop the podcast for one second, Josh, if you don't mind, because I know it's your show.

We're just here, but I just want to stop and point out. I think I know it's coming. That segue by Ronnie is a professional grade segue and needs to go in the podcast segue hall of fame, which we have several additions to, and we will continue. But that one in particular is incredible. Oh, yeah. That was great. You guys are really good at your transition. You know, I'm just trying to imitate Charles over there.

You're my fearless good at your transition. I'm just trying to imitate Charles over there. He's my fearless leader. You know, I've been studying broadcasting at CCBC. All the greats that went to CCBC. And I've been coming a long, a long, a long way. And I really think it's paying off. And by osmosis, Ronnie is getting some of that training also. Yeah, in osmosis, we trust. In osmosis, we trust almost as much

all the great fun broadcasters and speaking of comedians because i know y'all's do comedy too you know y'all's like we're just trying to be like the mickey kachawa of uh podcasting you know we're trying to take it to a level that is sophisticated and yet still connects with the common man because that's who we are. We're trying to elevate our game similarly to Mickey Cuccio. He's on the fucking Mount Rushmore broadcaster. He is one of the best

broadcasters of all time. You guys mean Mickey from Mickey and Amelia? Yeah, I think he started doing drive time stuff too. Oh yeah, you think he did? Yeah. I think he started doing drive time stuff too. Oh yeah, you think he did? Yeah. How come you guys don't know? I couldn't fucking make it home without him. You kidding me? Mickey's on in my

car every day. All the damn time. All day, all night, no matter what. That guy fucking kills it. You know who else killed it? Metallica the other night. But I just gotta say guys, I've been trying to get better. I've been trying to sit in at those broadcasting classes since I couldn't get into CCBC. But every time I'm in there, Charles tells security, and they drag me out.

They say, you're not a student. It's a running joke we do where Handy tries to sneak into my classes, and I constantly get him kicked out because he doesn't belong. But then he tells me I'm not good enough to be doing the podcast. Well, you need to get into CCBC in the first place, Andy. This isn't a free-for-all here. It's hard. It's all right. It's okay. Why don't you take it easy on Andy a little bit, Charles?

Andy. Andy, sorry. Thank you, Scott. Andy, did you go to the Metallica? Did you guys go? Yeah, what happened? Oh, I fucking love Metallica. Okay. Did you go? Answer the question, Andy? Oh, I fucking love Metallica. Okay. Did you go?

Answer the question, Handy. You want to be a broadcaster? I'm number. I got season tickets to Metallica. He does. He does. He does. Wait, you went, Handy? You went to the Metallica concert?

Oh, when people see me at Metallica, they're like, oh, that guy, he's some kind of monster. Okay. Oh. I didn't know. I didn't know you went. I didn't know you went with his fandom. Tell you that. He's riding the lightning. Oh, I like that. I like of monster. Okay. Oh. I didn't know you went. With his fandom. Tell you that. He's rocking the lightning over there.

Oh, I like that. I like that one. I get it. Did I go to the show? Interesting question. No. But do I know that they fucking rocked it? Yes.

Of course they rocked it. It's Metallica. Wherever they go, they're rocking it. I went down there. I had all the intentions of going in. And, yeah, I was going to go in in there and i went down a parking lot and uh i did make a makeshift above ground pool of bows which i promptly probably fucking blacked out in but i assumed they rocked it because i could kind of hear them and that was when i was called upon to pick ronnie up after he passed out

in front of the Metallica concert. You're looking at my bracelet. That is my emergency contact. It says, if passed out in a pool of natty bow, call this number. And that is Charles. And that's my number because I've been looking out for Ronnie since we were little kids. He does. He does. I'm all pruney and covered in bow. But, you know, he takes me as I am. So you were, Ronnie, you were in front of the Metallica concert, but you didn't go in. so so you were ronnie you were in front of the metallica concert but you didn't go in you were just passed out i was in the parking lot i don't know if i was in front of it to be honest i don't know if i was in the mt stadium parking lot i was in a

parking lot in a pool full of boo yeah it wasn't actually the mt bank stadium parking lot hey where was i it was a parking lot in pigtown that was about a half a mile away from the stadium. Oh, here's the thing. I went to the fucking M&T just bank. I just went to a bank and passed it out. It was M&T Bank's parking lot in Pigtown. That was on me. Yeah.

Okay, that was close enough. You got the addresses confused, Ronnie. It's both M&T Bank's if you think about it. No, he's right. Just think about it. You're right, but if you're trying to see Metallica, you did not do yourself injustice for all.

That was pretty good. Ronnie did put some sand around his pool and so he was like, oh, it's Enter Sandman. I don't know if I... That one might be weak, Andy. That's a weak one. Are you sure? I like the effort.

The effort was pretty good. That means so much coming from you, Josh. Oh, no problem, man. I think you guys are great. I'll back off then if I'm saying if Josh, a comedian of his stature, thinks Andy is funny, maybe I should...

Come on. You don't got to do that. Josh. It's not that big of a deal. You don't have to play humble Hollywood in front of me. You know how many people I had to go through just to get to you on this podcast? I kind of like this. Just keep it going. Give me fuel.

Give me fire. Give me compliments. That's what I do. Oh, I see what you did there. I like that. That was a really, really, really good one. All right. Well, don't let me reload on compliments.

So you know that I made a good joke because Josh is building on it. So it's pretty clear. That's the ultimate compliment. Yeah. Yeah. That joke was the one. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. We're all kind of flowing now. Now here we go. All right. Now we're talking turkey. And that joke has been so popular, you could say it's some kind of flowing now. Now here we go. Alright. Now we're talking turkey. And that joke has been so popular, you could say it's some kind of monster.

You already used that one, Andy. Not the wrong repeating jokes. You know I love Metallica. I got so many references. I'll give Andy this. You know, he built a solid foundation of bricks over there and we just built on top of it. You know, Josh and his humor. Thank you, Ron. i will say that scott uh

charles i will say that charles with uh your crew uh you do seem to be a bit of a master of puppets okay hold up hold up scott so i'm a fucking puppet yeah i'm a fucking puppet no that's not i didn't mean you were a puppet. I was just trying to get in on the joke, like of naming Metallica references. Okay, so I'm a joke. I'm a joke. Yeah. Y'all watch.

Bo's about to turn on me. I'm not turning. Scott, you better watch out how you talk to Ronnie. Ronnie doesn't play like that. All right, all right. Let's just calm down. Yeah, sorry. I was so excited to be on podcast.

I'm sorry, guys. I didn't really want to. I mean, this is a dual podcast. It's all positive. I didn't mean to interrupt or offend anyone. No, no, no. That's fine. That's fine. I'm a fucking puppet. I didn't really want to. I mean, this is a dual podcast. It's all positive. I didn't mean to interrupt or offend anyone. No, no, no. That's fine. That's fine.

I'm a fun puppet. That's fine. I don't care. Yeah, this Scott guy. I don't know, Josh. He's not a regular on the aggression sessions. I think it's okay. I understand why now.

No, he's just trying to just sell everybody down. All right, Ronnie. Ronnie, let's agree with Josh, and let's just move forward. Let's do it. And you won't slash Scott's tires when we get out of here. Okay, so I'm agreeing to not not slash his tires? No, we're not going to slash his tires when we get out of here. Hey, look.

We're all in the digression sessions, and nothing else matters. You know what I mean? Yay. That's a real good one. I felt so much pressure about this. And nothing else matters. You know what I mean? Yay. That's a real good one. I felt so much pressure about this. I was having an anxiety attack before I walked in here. But Josh and Scott, you guys have been such great hosts.

My chest doesn't feel tight anymore. So this is great. Yeah. Thanks. Being around a couple Baltimore podcasts and celebs is real joy for me. This is one of those rare times where, honestly, Handy, you're right. You're right. I'm getting crazy over here. I'm about to turn into Saint Anger.

I'm going to calm down. I'm going to calm down. You know what I mean? And do I have an anger problem? Yeah. It's sad but true. Sad. I think Ronnie is the winner for best metallica references um josh if you don't mind could we

move on to another topic that i heard about you uh sure i would just like to say i think ronnie is the hero of the day yeah ronnie from the album load nobody listened to load or reload if you want to be honest. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'm not too familiar with their canon. I don't know. It's just some kind of monster. That is the ultimate compliment, having Josh use my bit.

I'm on cloud nine over here, guys. I'm having a good time, man. I'm having a really good time. This is how we like to keep it, Josh. Loose, and we like to keep it moving. Yeah, and if you think there's too many puns, that's okay. I mean, just call me the Unforgiven. You don't have to forgive me if there's too many puns.

Or I'll be the Unforgiven, too. I don't know. How about we all take this conversation down the ocean with the Sandman? How about we exit light and enter night, which is our next topic? How do y'all feel about night time? How about that transition there? I've been working on it.

That was pretty good. Okay. I caught the first two minutes of the transitions class before I got kicked out of CCBC. Night versus day. Where y'all stand? I don't think that transition made that much sense, though. That was pretty good.

I like that. I like that. Josh, what do you think of that transition, though. That was pretty good. I like that. I like that. Josh, what do you think of that transition, then? It was pretty good, I guess. Handy. It was great. That was the number one transition. If you take CCBC classes, you might be one of the best broadcasters.

I caught the first two minutes of the transition class before I got kicked out. Let's stick to the fucking point. How y'all feel about day and night? Which one you want? Ronnie. I'll fire y'all. Ronnie. I'll fire y'all. We're guests night? Which one you want? Ronnie. I'm fired up. Ronnie. I mean, it's not

we're guests in this podcast universe. I call night. You need to calm down. I'm getting loud with y'all. I don't want to offend the digression sessions for the first time we do a dual podcast. This is a dual podcast. Okay, it's a dual podcast. It's a dual podcast. Okay, it's a dual podcast. It's a dual podcast. Yeah, this is a dual

podcast. I think Charles fired up because he prefers day. I love, first of all, I love day. Nighttime gives me night terrors. Oh, this is a dual podcast. I think Charles fired up because he prefers day. I'm going to say something right now. First of all, I love day. Nighttime gives me night terrors. Oh, you get the night terrors. Sandman never enters with me. No? No, he's always in my head.

Hey, what's he doing up there? I exalite. Enter night. All right, guys. Take my hand. Okay. Often never, never land. All right, guys.

For those listening at home, Charles is standing up. You okay? Yeah I'm just getting a little red in the face Because I'm so passionate About my night terrors Ain't nobody can tell if I'm passionate I got sunglasses on Yeah

He's got his Coca-Cola sunglasses at all times Ain't nobody can tell I'm going to say something right now Won't I? I vote for I vote for night Okay I'm going to say something right now Won't I? I vote for Knight. Okay.

I'm going to say something right now, won't I? I vote for Knight. Oh, there it is. Yeah, Hanny likes Knight. All right, way to turn the page. Also Metallica song. A lot of Metallica references. Josh, if the Digression Sessions listeners are picking this up, the Baltimore Voice listeners always pick up air references.

Oh, yeah. They fucking love references. I pick up your references when I listen to Charles and Ronnie. Yeah, they're all pretty obvious. They're normally just on that topic. Right. It's pretty simple stuff, guys. Well, I'm sorry we're not big shots like you guys on the digression sessions.

He's been nominated for best podcast many years in a row. Who is the leader of the Baltimore podcast scene? I'm so sorry we're not up to your level no no i i didn't mean it okay you're a big deal because you got nominated you never won all right well that's yeah this guy's barely ever even on the podcast yeah i'm talking shit i've only been on the podcast like two or three times yeah what's with this fucking michael guy ain't said shit. I don't think he even got introduced. He definitely did not get introduced. Oh, really? Nobody introduced him.

He just sat in the corner. Yeah. Michael Normile. What a jerk. Hey, guys. Sorry. I didn't get introduced, so I just didn't say anything. What a fucking zero.

Good thing we didn't introduce him. Yeah. You guys want to have even numbers. Three for digression sessions, three for Baltimore voice, so you invited this loser, Michael, over. Yeah. Make it a fucking fair fight over there. Yeah. What's he, the handy of the digression sessions, three for Baltimore boys. So you invited this loser, Michael, over. Yeah, make it a fucking fair fight over there. Yeah.

What's he, the handy of the digression sessions? Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. He's getting his ass chewed out. And I'm going to say, fuck yeah, he is. Getting his ass chewed out right now. Punching on his fucking ass. His name's probably not even Michael.

It's probably Eichel. They call him Michael and don't like it. Isn't that right? Eichel. Yeah, Eichel. No, it's Michael. You sure nobody's ever called you Eichel? Come on, let's lay off Michael.

He's a good dude. Yeah, Michael's our friend, guys. Yeah, he was on some very early episodes of the podcast. And some deleted scenes. And some deleted scenes. Actually, Josh, Mike, and I all met in the same improv class many, many moons ago. Oh, okay, improv. That's where it's

like oh it's not funny yeah is that like is that like where people get on stage and then they try to make you laugh but they rarely ever do like they's lazy and they're like hey we didn't write this we're just gonna make it up yeah is that like fake saturday night live is that how that works yeah you get like a bunch of losery art kids up there and say fucking make a Jakey Clown. I don't know. I liked our improv experience. I had a good time. Yeah.

But yeah, I mean, it is. It's sort of that. Similar to that. Right. Yeah. Actually,

I'll be hosting the comedy portion of Artscape this year, you guys. No fucking way. Are you serious? Look at us on a podcast

with a real life comedian. This is a Baltimore Voice exclusive. It's a dole podcast. It's a real-life comedian. This is a Baltimore Voice exclusive. It's a dual podcast. It's a fucking dual podcast. All right, look at Josh over there, hosting the comedy portion of one of America's largest free festivals. One of America's and Baltimore's specific largest open-air forums, Artscape.

Josh Kudrna is the host. Yeah, I'm pretty excited. Josh, I don't want to put you on the spot here, but if I could get like a VIP pass to our stage. Andy's always trying to crowbar his way in places. I'm just such a fucking big fan. I would love to be on the side of the stage, just taking it all in from just a few feet away.

I can chime in if you need any help. I've been working on my uh stand up so oh you have yeah you you have and you got a joke for us no i mean i'm not gonna fuck i'm not your monkey here you're not gonna fuck yeah you think he's gonna fuck your monkey you think you're gonna have a monkey for him i don't follow comedy that much is that insider lingo yeah he went up there last night he fucked the monkey yeah is that what is that what openers and middle say is like fucking monkeys is you're in the middle i've been doing last night i had a rough set my feature fucked the monkey yeah is that how that works no i do more physical comedy uh so i'll be like handy handy is like the chris 40 of

dundalk yeah i'm i go up there and i'm like, hey, you guys ever get hit in the face by a brick? And then people are like, no. And I was like, you want to see me? And then they're like, okay. And then I hit myself in the face with a brick. Josh, do you think you could use that in your act? I don't know if I could use it. I mean, I don't want to steal your material.

Listen, if you want to borrow it, but just be sure to give me credit. Handy. Josh, Handy wants to be your assistant like you're a magician and he is the pretty young girl except he's ugly and a dude yeah yeah it's very similar yeah it's fucking real similar in it yeah yeah uh so yeah i tell you why don't you open you want to do oh my that'd be amazing josh i yeah i think i can book a couple update the Update the website right now. Okay? I don't think the website has been updated at all. Josh, you're just giving out Artscape spots? I mean, you didn't even ask me if I wanted to. Do you want to?

I mean, I would love to. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, let me work on it. I'll see if I can. Okay. I'll see what I can do. Wait, does Handy automatically have a spot?

And then you have to check for me? I'm guaranteed one spot. Because he's more of a regular on a podcast than I am? Is that how that works? Well, I don't know. I mean, he's been working on new material. I mean, are you hitting yourself in the face with bricks? No, no, I've never.

I'm not into alternative comedy. Did you hear the laughs I got in the room when I did that bit? Yeah. No, I heard the laughs, Handy. Okay. You were there? You saw Handy perform? He just did it.

Yeah. We hear the uproarious laughs on the podcast. You probably had to cut it out for time. Yeah, that's what happened. We cut out the laughs. Handy, we cut out the laughs. That's where they went. That's podcast magic over there.

Yeah. Okay. Well, okay. Well, listen, I'll try to get you on the show, Scott. I'm going to do what I can, and Handy, I'll email you. Great. All right, I guess I'll take that. No, listen, I'm going to do my best. All right, that's fair.

That's all I can do is do my best. Seems like we have a bit of the podcast kings going at each other right now. Nuh-uh. Fucking Game of Thrones. No, nothing. I just, you know, I was just. Josh is Khaleesi. No, I mean, I just admit. No, he's definitely Khaleesi. Scott Khaleesi?

No, no, no. No one's Khaleesi. No one's Khaleesi. I just. Scott's like that bald guy with no dick. On Game of Thrones? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the character's name?

Scott? Yeah, Scott. Guys, that's not nice. House of no dick. I promise you I have a dick, okay? He ain't got a throne. He ain't got no dick. No, I promise I have a dick.

Game of no dicks. You're the winner. Ronnie, that's a good one. I like it. Guys, I definitely have a dick Scott has no dick I guarantee he has no dick that's straight up

why you guarantee it I guarantee it because I can tell by the way he carries himself he don't have no dick I tell you what my dick's so big I fuck up my back I walk with a limp I'm sure you have a big dick ronnie are you sure how'd you know i'm no i'm just i'm assuming you do because you said it i have a dick

i don't you know you have dick that's it i have a dick okay is it yours yeah no it's my dick it's attached to my body right next to my asshole i heard you're like the bald guy from game of thrones don't have a dick. That character named Scott. I have a dick and I'm not bald, so I don't know how much of that character I really represent. All right. Well, at least the part with no dick. I don't know how we got there from Artscape. Yeah, that was quite a leap and a jump.

A digression, you could say. Thanks, Andy. Yeah, that was a digression, huh? That was. and a digression that is a thanks Andy yeah that was a digression huh that was quite a digression all right well I maybe wrap hey we gonna wrap up without fucking yeah we got a local sport we gotta do some local sports talk before we go Josh what kind of podcast is this

you don't talk about Orioles and the Ravens sure sure how they doing Ravens right now we're on OTAs we're finding out who our starting lineups are going to be. We're really shaping the positions right now. Okay. You ever go on iTunes, give Ozzie Newsome five stars? I don't think I have.

Then you're not a real fan. Yeah. If you don't give Ozzie Newsome five stars on Yelp, you're not a real fan. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like watching the Ravens. Are they going to be good this year? You know they're going to be good.

We trust. He's making a joke. Are they going to be good? Yeah. Okay. Hold up, Josh. Who do you think the coach is? Who do you think the quarterback is?

Who do you think the general manager is? So we got John Harbaugh, Flacco, and Ozzie Newsome? Exactly right. How are we going to have a bad team with those threesomes I call them the Holy Trinity Ronnie Ronnie I believe you made up the Holy Trinity And Handy is now taking credit for it Okay

But I still call them that After I heard Ronnie say it That's fine So I guess technically that's true then, right, guys? Yeah. Just because you say it. Oh, thanks, Scott, playing peacemaker. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.

No dick over there. I don't have any dick. Maybe I make peace. Shut up. For the record, I have a dick. That's Donald's protest too much. Yeah, Scott, you seem like you don't have a dick because you keep saying how you do have a dick so it seems like you actually don't have a dick we just want to

do this with this one guy no dick rick remember he'd always be like i got a dick no dick rick was in high school we called him no dick rick because he had no dick and he'd always talk about how he had a dick but he didn't yeah he happened to be our math teacher, too. He was like, okay, add this up. You have no dicks. I was like, he was like, okay, geometry. A squared plus B squared equals I have no dick. I was like, of course you don't have no dick.

No dick, Rick. It's your name. He's up there right on the board. Me minus dick equal Rick. Okay, that adds up. That's cool you guys had a a teacher with no dick another classic digression sessions digression guys old no dick rick josh how was that what was that a good digression yeah josh did you like that digression yeah that was that was good i'm not trying to force the digressions but you know when they come naturally you guys are really good at it

i uh we put together a best of digressions on the digression sessions, you'll certainly be. Oh, you'll feature the Baltimore Voice? Yeah. Well, this is a dual podcast. It's a dual podcast. It's a dual podcast. This is right. It's a fucking dual podcast.

It's a dual podcast. Yeah. It's a dual. Okay. It's a dual podcast. Oh, okay. It's a dual podcast. Yeah.

That's the whole point is that it's a dual podcast. Well, it's a fucking good one. You know, speaking of fucking good ones, like the Raven, they's going to be fucking good. They're doing OTAs right now. They're optional, but not for those boys. No, those boys out there are mandatory OTAs. The only option they got is to fucking win.

It's the only option they can see because that's what they strive for. Oh, yeah. That's fucking right. Yeah, I think we're going to have a really good team this year. The Ravens are going to be really good. Oh, do you, Scott? Yeah, no. I love the Ravens.

I'm a big fan. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Just like you love not having a dick? Handy, it seems like you are particularly coming at me. It's Andy, Scott. Andy. Don't call me Handy.

Especially a no-dick guy like you. Andy, it really seems like you're coming at me pretty hard about this no it is handy doesn't have much on people but he do got a dick and so scott you're a little above your uh pay grade right now for the record i have a dick i just want to make sure that we're clear that i have a dick you know what i don't like about you scott other than you not having a dick i don't like the way you treat josh hey no no, it's okay. He's fine. What did I do to Josh? He asked me to be on this podcast. You've been dropping the bar

as co-host duties. I've been learning from Ronnie and I see what a great intrepid co-host looks like and you, sir, don't live up. I'm not necessarily a co-host to the digression sessions. I've just been on a few times.

Here comes the excuses, Josh. You don't got to make excuses for it. Oh, my God. Did the excuse train arrive a little early? I didn't even know. There's no. There's no. No, there's no.

I'm just not. I don't. It's not. Digression is not my podcast. I'm just. Yeah, you're fucking right. Yeah, he's right. Dumbass.

You never seemed like you ever been on a digression podcast before. All right, guys. I don't know why. I don't. Why is this so negative? I've been on the podcast. I just don't host. It's not my podcast. It's Josh's podcast.

All right. Josh, I'm sorry you had to put up with Scott. No, it's okay. I just don't understand why. Handy. Handy. Don't apologize for us. Josh, I'm sorry.

Charles, don't fucking apologize for him. I'm sorry. Don't do it. Yeah. Ronnie. This is our house. No, it do it. This is our house. This is our house. Isn't it Josh's? We're here at Josh's. I'm going to protect

this house. We're going to protect it, so Scott, you should probably get the fuck out. We will protect this house, Scott. You do not come into Josh's house and act like you will not protect it. You better protect this house. Scott's going to escape real quick because he's going to take a dick with him. He's traveling light. I'm going to protect the house, guys. Okay, yeah. You can protect the He's traveling light. I'm going to protect the house, guys.

Sorry. Trying to protect the house. Thank you guys for being on the show. It's my pleasure. Thank you for joining us. We're not going to talk about the Orioles. I thought this was a professional podcast. You guys want to get off the podcast without talking about the Orioles. We brought them up. We might as well talk about it.

I've been glad we've been able to maintain a civilized discussion all day. I think we're right on the edge. This has been, yeah, this is maybe civilized. Would we consider this civilized? It's got a little tense. Oh, so Scott, you don't consider us civilized, you dumbass? You don't think we're civilized just because you're on a digression? It's not even your podcast.

You're not even a co-host. You're just a sometimes guest. You're like a handy, Scott. Yeah, Scott. You're like me. Piece of shit. Come on, guys. You guys are really coming at me. Handy. The self-inflicted wound

just against Scott. This is crazy. That's how much I hate him now. All right. But what we can all agree on is we like the Orioles. we like the Orioles. Oh, I love fucking A's. I like the Orioles. I'm a fan. I love the Orioles, Scott.

You like the Orioles, Scott? Well, I love them. Ew. I don't like them. I love them. I love them. I bleed orange and purple. Yeah, that's mostly because of your condition, though.

That is because of a condition. Yeah. However, it's still orange and purple blood. Yup. Yup. I can't take it away from me. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's still a good thing. Yeah, I don't want to take it away from me. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's still a good thing.

Yeah, I don't want to take anything away from me. It's what they call a happy accident. Exactly. It's a delicious accident, too, because it tastes like grape and orange juice. So here's the thing. Charles had diabetes, so he got the sugary blood. Yeah, real bad. Okay.

Oh, sure. All right. All right. So the Oreos are good, or I don't... Well, they slipped into third place in the AL East right now. Okay. Sure. All right. So the Orioles are good? Well, they slipped into third place in the AL East right now. Okay. But we're still above 500. We're staying afloat.

They're still up there. We're staying afloat. We're staying afloat. It's a long season. We're staying afloat. Look, okay, the baseball season has 15,000 games in it. It is a marathon, not a sprint, and you should know that, Scott and Josh, if you like the Orioles at all. It's about the journey, not the destination. Exactly right, boys.

Okay? Airboys are giving it their hearts and souls every single day of this summer. Didn't the twins almost sweep them? That's neither here nor there. What's your fucking problem? Why you say that? Why you bring it up? Why you bring it up? Oh, shit? Don't bring up negative.

Only look at positive. That's how I function in this life. Okay, yeah. I'm trying to meditate on a positive, but you fucking tested me over there, Josh. Josh, it seems like it's getting a little chippy. Yeah, let's just wrap it up, I think. Oh, Scott, if you had to pick one word that started with the letter N to describe

Adam Jones, what would it be? Nice. You fucking hesitated, though. I know what you really meant. Wow. What the fuck? Andy, that was very... Scott, you racist asshole.

Are you inferring that he's racist? Yeah. So what? Now I went from no dick to being racist? Not musically exclusive, Scott. You could be both. Andy, Josh, I don't know what to do here. I don't know either.

Oh, you don't know what to do, Scott? You know what you should do? Get a dick. Yeah, if there is a fucking Venn diagram of a racist and a no dick, you'd be in the middle. You'd be right in the middle of that Venn diagram with no dick racist.

What if the Venn diagram would be a big fucking no dick circle that's racist? It'd be a picture of your face in the middle scott uh i'm getting beaten here josh i don't know just lay off scott oh you want me to lay off scott huh okay mr brace face okay all right this is like yeah what kind of door has braces we we officially don't understand you j. I don't know what's happening. So, Josh, when should we schedule another dual podcast? Yeah, when we do another dual podcast.

I had a great time. Let me look into the schedule. A lot of moving parts. Josh, make sure that I'm not here for the next dual podcast. I thought this one was a great success, personally. I loved this dual podcast. I thought it was amazing. I know y'all can't see behind my coat glasses, but I'm crying that I had such a good fucking time.

Yeah, I just want to say, Josh and Scott and Mike, little Mike over in the corner, thank you so much for having us on this dual podcast. Obviously, it's going to go on a digression sessions feed and the Baltimore Voice feed. That's what a dual podcast does. But we really, really appreciate it, and we feel like we have stepped up to the big leagues now because we are the number one Baltimore Beast podcast in the digression sessions. And until next time, we'll talk to you then.

And if you get any brick-related injuries, just check out Science kirk and miles not to be confused with science kirk and kilometers that is a whole different law firm different one josh you're just gonna let them do the yeah i'm just gonna let these guys just just go we're just trying to wrap it up so whatever they want to do that's's fine. All right. Well, thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for listening. Thank you to our sponsors again for sponsoring us. And we will see you next time. And always, David Kekman, take a seat.

Okay, I know what I'm saying. David? David? David? Hey, David? David? David? David? Dick Ross Sensations coming to an end. Thank you. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah