The Digression Sessions - Ep. 238 - New Years Dig Sesh w/ Josh & Umar

Episode Date: January 2, 2018

Hola Digheads, on this week's episode, Josh and Umar are talking New Years, cleaning houses naked, and the new Chappelle specials. Follow the podcast and Josh Kuderna, and Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Laughable, Stitcher plz!

TAGE NETWORK That's a Gotti Hey hey Playo Hey what's up dude New year Same old podcast That's true We're being more consistent this time.

Trying. Yeah. This is going to come out on a Monday. Late on a Monday, but it's still fucking Monday. It is like 7 o'clock on a Sunday. Nope. It's a Monday. You're right.

Holy shit. That's what I was just saying. That's why it's late. I thought you were going to put it out late tomorrow, Monday. And I was like, why? We're recording on a Sunday night. But I was like, okay. It feels like Sunday.

It's back to work tomorrow, dude. Oh, it's's a bummer i've been off for a whole fucking week yeah you've been on uh on that grind you were uh yeah you're packing up my little baby umar is moving out of the nest had a little false start there yeah i was gonna move into a place and the pipe burst and he was like uh there's no functioning bathroom but it was kind of a blessing yeah i got that basement that i wanted oh nice i saw it there people are dope the basements it's dope so i mean it's small but it's like if i have my own like room bathroom and living room yeah yeah yeah yeah because then the other house too it'd be like what i was gonna be sharing with two people i didn't know at all i didn't meet once that's weird's weird. And I was just like thinking, I was like, what are you doing?

Yeah. And then when that pipe broke, I was like, yeah, I don't want to live with like, I'll be living with people, but like only see them when I'm like using the kitchen. That's still, yeah. I mean, I don't want to do that anymore. Like I'm 31. I don't want to live that dorm life anymore. I'm like, oh, sorry, excuse me.

Is that mine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And if they turned out to like suck, that would be a fucking nightmare too if they're like yeah shit or their hours are weird well yeah though i texted a girl like because i used to live in that house and i texted the girl that i used to live there with because she was still living there when this one of the dudes who lived there and she said he's like a trump supporter whoa that would go well that he's like a Trump supporter. Wow. That would go well. But it's weird because he's black and Hispanic. But he's a Trump supporter.

Is he just compensating? He's just like, don't kick me out. Yeah, that's true. And then he doesn't do dishes. And he always has girls over. And he's an Uber driver. So he's home all the time. And I was like, damn, this does not sound ideal ideal he sounds like a real player i don't know yeah like a real badass

he's like wash my dishes while i go fuck yeah what is an uber driver just he's like i'm not gonna get a dish wet but i'll get my dick wet okay yeah hey what's up boo bears like oh hi it's a it's a new year it is how was your new year's eve 2018 yeah did shows in fredericksburg virginia um at the courtyard marriott hotel how was it uh they were pretty good the first show is at six and i was a little wary of that like it's pretty early but uh the crowd skewed a little older both shows we did one at six one at 8 30 uh eddie morrison hosted very funny and then brian parisi was the headliner and uh yeah the first show i had a lot of fun i was talking about my braces and i said they cost six thousand dollars and uh this woman's like you should have come and got them done in fredericksburg and i was like what does that mean

and uh she's like it's like like would you do it like you would just take me out in the parking lot and be like i'll lasso them fucked up teeth i'll do i don't care and then uh she goes was she getting laughs no she was like we were just kind of going back and forth so then i'm like doing crap like that was getting laughs and then i was like so what like what did you mean by that she's like well i have six kids all of them got braids call cost about a thousand dollars i'm like oh so i think you should by that? She's like, well, I have six kids. All of them got Braves. Call us about $1,000. I'm like, oh, so I think you should just be my mom is what you say. So then I moved on.

And yeah, the first show was good. Second show was all right. I think I had more fun at the first show. But after the first show, I was talking to people and people that were at the show. And we're talking for a while, just kind of shooting the shit and i was like yeah i was like yeah i had a lot of fun it was a good show that one woman though that yelled out that yelled that shit out she goes that was me and i was like oh that's awesome okay all right but i gave her a big hug i was like no you're my new mom it's okay it's all right like that one uh

damn that's cool she she didn't mind too much no no because we were talking for a while before that and like kind of joking around going back and forth but uh brian parisi was uh he's uh single so at the end of his sets he's like he's like so uh he's like so where should i go out tonight what are you guys doing for new year's which totally which totally is like a single dude move like what's the plan what are we doing you know yeah and these people are like bourbon room he's like oh i like bourbon i'll check that out and that got a laugh oh cool and then so after the show people came up like don't go that's like a gay bar that's all so they're just like fuck it with them that's so awesome brian had like 10 people come up to him like it's a gay bar it's a gay bar

oh my god that's so cool but then he's like uh yeah you're like is it are you hateful well i was actually talking to a lesbian couple and she's like yeah they're just they're like really gay there or something like that. Too gay for a lesbian couple. Yeah, yeah. Well, then you're reminded you're in Fredericksburg. So they're like, you know, be gay, but don't be that fucking gay. Remember when we did that gay show in, what was that? Remember when we did that gay thing and we kissed that time?

Yeah. What was that show? Me, you, and Eric did it. We potted on the way. Hagerstown. Yes. Hagerstown Hopes. Yeah.

That was the gayest shit I have ever done. I mean, it was for the LGBTQ. Was it that gay? It was so gay because I just remember like they all, yeah, they were all gay or lesbians and they all knew each other. Oh, not all of them though. Some of them worked together. Remember the table?

It was like they all worked at a bank together. Oh, it felt like because there was only like 15 people there. Yeah, it might have been like a little more. But yeah, like no, it wasn't that. a bank together oh it felt and i think they had a couple like 15 people there yeah well i might have been like a little more but yeah like no it wasn't that you're making it seem like we were like had to dress and drag oh no it was just like a straight up stand-up show i won't name who but i uh hung out with a friend of ours uh over the weekend barack hussein obama i forgot that was his middle name jesus uh barack jesus obama and uh dude this this is uh a way he makes money um he gets he goes to gay dudes homes and cleans their homes completely naked wow Wow. How much money is he making?

Not... He thought it was a lot. And I was just like, yeah, play it. And he goes, he's like, dude, that's like... What did he say? I made like $500 in... He made $500 in six hours. I was like, that's not...

That's not a lot. A lot of money, dude. I think you could clean a house and probably get paid the same amount with your clothes on. Like, I don't know what they charge, but you'd probably be making something close to that. Yeah. So, I don't know if he listens to this podcast. You don't be fucked up. He's been on it, though.

Oh, wow. Eric Glazer What would be really funny Is if this person is listening to this Right now cleaning a dude's house naked With their iPod like attached to their arm I hope he doesn't have headphones in his ears I bet he does There's a reason

But he said the best part is The homes are super clean Oh they're already clean Yeah but they're already they're already clean yeah but there's you know they just so is the guy they do just want to watch you be naked in their house so like five hours is a long time i don't know yeah and five hundred dollars is not that much he's like that's what like he's like yo that's like ceo money i was like no motherfucker a ceo if they made five dollars in six hours they would jump off their fucking

building especially they had to do it naked like it's so degrading and weird oh my god yeah he told this one story like uh this dude's house is like immaculate it was clean right so he's like of course and the guy's just like i just made a mess he just comes on the floor well sort of something like that so he's like he's like here uh come in my bedroom i got literally yeah yeah and then so they're they're like standing over his bed and looking at it and uh and the guy's like and and our friend goes like it's pretty clean it looks clean and then he was like or he was like yeah he's like so what do you want me to clean it looks pretty clean he's like yeah i guess you should clean something and then no yeah and then something like i didn't even think about that like the euphemism but then he um like this the bed was completely done all neatly and

he just like tossed all the sheets off he's like yeah why don't you start by making the bed wow and the guy locks the door yeah and i was like dude you better having to do that naked? And the guy locks the door. Yeah. And I was like, dude, you better not drink anything that they offer you. No, definitely not. Which I'm not saying that all gay people are predators. But in this situation, when you're inviting a young kid, essentially, to come and clean, you know, you just got to be a little weary. Yeah.

Fuck yeah. How is he finding out about this? How do you get involved in this i i have no idea i did not list yeah maybe that ad is just like it might be an app or something like the ad is like wanted young nude boy to clean house yeah i'm not a murderer but i was thinking too like because that means like i wonder if they choose who they want, then his picture is, like, available. Probably. Yeah. Well, on the flip side, there's that topless maid service.

Yeah. And I don't feel too bad telling this because he has been talking about it in his act. Okay. Yeah. All right. Hold on. Who is it? Oh, my God.

Of course. Of course. Oh, my God. Right god dude gotta make ends meet he's a smart ceo money what the fuck are you talking about yeah i don't know maybe i'm fudging the numbers. Maybe he made more. I don't know. But I was like, okay, dude. You'd have to be walking out of there with like thousands and thousands of dollars. If you're completely naked, you should be making like, I would say at least $150 an hour. Dude, when you feature at a club, you make more than $50 an hour.

Yeah, yeah. God. the very when you when you feature at a club you make more than fifty dollars an hour yeah yeah you know nobody's like i made ceo money yeah yeah it's for real and ceos don't get free fish tacos yeah all right bitch cokes all night i don't know sounds like he's making making homo money you know what i mean yeah i hope he has an hmo plan he's like we're all beaten and left in like an alley or something jesus christ it's so crazy yeah how did you even i don't understand you have to answer like a craigslist ad or do you think there's like an agency or something like oh it's so i don't know but you must be fucking hella broke yeah well yeah so i heard um because they have that topless maids thing have you heard of that yeah yeah they have like those bright pink vans they're like yeah uh there was a guy on a podcast talking about uh how he got he's like yeah i'll do it

so he like hired somebody to come over and it's just like it was an older Mexican woman. And so you could tell she was already a maid. But then she has to clean with her tits out. And he was there. And it was just so awkward. And it's like, yeah, I guess just clean the kitchen. And I thought I heard a story where somebody brought their daughter with them. I don't know.

I could be making. i don't know i bring your daughter to work day yeah or just like you know it's like another hispanic woman who like daughter had to be like i was in school that day or something we might have talked about that yeah it's just like uh it's funny too because probably like the woman probably goes home like i don't know i mean like the gringos, they fucking like. Tatas. Yeah, they like when we clean their house naked. Okay, way more.

It's so dumb. Also, like it'd be like dangerous because you're like you got bleach and shit everywhere. Yeah. You must not be doing a very. I'm going to just go ahead and say like it's not a super thorough job. I wouldn't even be comfortable cleaning somebody like cleaning my own bathroom naked for that very reason of like yeah cleaner get in your dick hole like your ass is up just like my god it'd be funny i was thinking like if i did this and then if they couldn't see pictures of the dudes before it's just like my hairy ass just cleaning their house this would be so funny

but i guess some people are into that the only thing you're cleaning up is the hair that's falling off yeah yeah yeah you're just making a mess and oh my god seriously that is so fucking weird man i wonder how much like i honestly if there was no way anyone could find out and they paid like 200 an hour here's the thing you would know about it though like yeah i don't think i don't know if i would care that much i would i would just feel very like i guess what i'm just picturing is just a very creepy guy like oh probably like yeah like make the bed then like yeah he said they've been nice you know okay yeah but like sometimes make the bed and then like you're done you're like hey uh let me go get lunch with my buddy like how could you not be thinking about that experience the whole time i don't know if my

bed making skills are up to par like you tell the guy yeah yes this dude guy actually i'm not that good at cleaning like this is my first day i can't do the corners the way hotels do that i hope you don't have a duvet because that is a nightmare for me god that would take forever actually help me yeah it's more to oh my god i got a two-man job for you uh but yeah so uh all that said uh yeah shows are pretty good we were done early and then we went out to like some townieie bar that was a bit of a nightmare. Yeah. And yeah, I think we were home before midnight, so it was like...

Yeah. Yeah. Just kind of a little boozed up, and then just stumbled back, and like, all right, well, I'm going to go to bed. Now I just watched the Chappelle special, which is really fucking good. Oh my God. Dude, I've watched them twice yesterday when they came out. I watched it once alone, because I knewaren would talk at the dumbest fucking time

so then i i watched them with her yeah yeah god there's so many things i missed the first time it's just like he's so good i love there's one part where he's like i told you i'm dope yeah no yeah and he is right too like yeah uh me and finanza were talking about today he might be the best ever i think so four specials in one year all of them fire the only one only one of them was old so he technically did like three specials also the the second one he taped like four weeks ago yeah i think he winged that oh i think he was like i just have some shit to say i think he had some premises that were like pretty much like three fours there probably and then it's like yeah i'm just gonna let that ride the second special

it's in the belly room of the comedy store which is like a small room yeah i think it holds 50 people yeah and then um it's definitely not like it's not like it's not super filled with jokes like it's very funny but there's a lot of seriousness yeah and uh but it's so good and i think he did that on purpose like that's why he purposely did it in a smaller room. It was more intimate. Yeah. And you don't want to invite a fucking theater full of people. Oh, no. You don't want to work out stuff.

And do that kind of show. Yeah. And then you're not being super funny. And it was cool to see him at the Warner Theater with thousands of people. Yeah. And then he could still command a room in the same way just with the 50 people like sit on the stool and chill and be personable unbelievable um he's so good dude he's so good yeah i was like in awe of these also the the the callbacks i don't know if this will support well i mean yeah he gets into it in the very beginning but still like yeah but then

literally like he does it in the beginning which is like kind of cool like the little misdirection like oh he did it and then bringing it back at the end with that like super poignant thing too and then like wow he really did fucking do that yeah i'm saying like and it is true that he's like i'm so fucking good i'm gonna not only come up with the dumbest punch line just like but i'm gonna use it twice and it's gonna work really well both times unbelievable i'm gonna close my netflix special on this like bullshit line basically oh man and uh yeah i like the way that this was actually kind of like an answer to the other netflix specials too and he's like he's still kind of like an older dude kind of set in his ways yeah because he got shit for trans jokes yeah yeah it's so like you're like i don't care about transgenders

like calling them transgenders and stuff but she but seriously four specials in one year lines yeah four specials in a year it's unbelievable and all of them are good yeah fucking i think pieces have already started. Mm-hmm. Dude, I mean, because you got in trouble for transgender jokes last year, and you dedicated like 15, 20 minutes between both specials to trans jokes. Yeah. And they're so good. Yuck.

It's like, I believe they want to do it it because they're cutting their dick off they're down for the cause oh my god when you're talking about louie it was just like oh i have to re-watch uh because i was kind of watching that uh while doing other stuff so i have to re-watch that one god it was so funny and uh man he's gonna get so much shit he's gonna get so much shit um i hope he does i hope he puts out a special every year shit well i i mean they uh i saw an interview with him where basically they worked out like netflix is like we'll give you 20 million dollars for three like three specials 20 million dollars he's like well here's two then like, yeah, I'll give you that third one.

Hell, I'll give you a fourth one. So it's probably a lot easier once you're like, hey, here's tens of millions of dollars. I think you got $50 million. Total? Yeah. And at the Warner Theater, he did that residency, basically. Like he was there. Yeah, he's there for like a week or two.

Two weeks. Jesus. At a massive theater. And this is like irrational but i got pride that he said he was from silver spring i was like that's pretty cool that one of the best comedians ever is from silver spring maryland yeah that is was he born there though was he born in new york i don't think he was born in new york he was always around here damn yeah like he would go up to new york i think when he was like 16 to like do comedy and stuff

but he was always like a dc maryland guy whoa yeah it's fucking great uh speaking of things in maryland what did you do for new year's eve in maryland what a transition chill we got some pizza at art house and then we got back we were watching the great british bake off you know oh yeah and uh boy it was like 6 30 i looked at the time and i was like fuck we are not gonna make it yeah i really don't care about new year's in that way of like yeah i don't either countdown yeah i don't care all the people like on my on my news feed, well, first of all, everyone bitched so much during 2017. And now to see people reflect about how great of a year it was and how much personal growth they made. It's like, first of all, if you're posting about your personal growth on Facebook just to get likes, how much did you grow?

You know what I mean? Obviously a ton. Yeah. And then everyone's like, I'm ready to take on 2018. It's like, you don't have a choice unless you're gonna kill yourself it's true bring it on 2018 i'm ready it's coming anyway i hope those same people say like all right tuesday i'm gonna make you my bitch monday might have fucked me up pretty good but tuesday here it comes buddy yeah wednesday i'm gonna own this week also like they know what could happen like yeah no this is my year this is my

yeah it's like and all those people who like uh uh wait until like new year's day to like make drastic change it changes to improve it's like you're not gonna make your life otherwise you would have done it. Yeah, because successful people don't make arbitrary decisions on when to start their life change. Like, all right. It's just something that happens. No, I think that's what CEOs do, man.

Yeah, that's true. It's August. They're like, man, I'm going to go bankrupt. But I'd change. But, well, January's not here yet. Got to let her ride. Or like people that are like fat in July. They're like, well, I'll turn it around in 2018.

And who are fat. Yeah. They're like, now it's time to go to the gym. Yeah. Or any diet, whatever it is. Yeah. Yeah. That's a part.

The gyms are going to be all crowded. Yeah. So we just chilled, and we chilled here. And then we were stupid because we thought the liquor stores would stay open, but they only stay open until 9. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I went to try to go buy booze at 9.30, and I was like, well. And we're sober as hell. We've had, oh, no, we had a bottle of wine.

Did you go to Royal Farms? Which one? The one on Keswick. They don't sell after certain, like, on Sunday. I don't know how it would work this past Sunday. Oh, right, yeah. But they still have to follow the laws in a weird way. Yeah, those weird, like, blue laws.

Yeah, anyway, so we had to, like, buy booze from, like, a bar that was expensive. Yeah. Yeah, they're like, oh, you want a six-pack to go? That'll be $23. Yeah. Oh, okay. Sure, yeah. And then we went to the mansion, you know? Oh, yeah, like, oh, you want a six-pack to go? That'll be $23. Yeah, you're like, oh, okay. And then we went to the mansion, you know?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mansion parties. Our buddies own a home right across the street that's pretty big. They call it the mansion. Yeah, the Hamden Mansion. That's where I met said friend who told me said story. That is so wild. At the same time, I'm not surprised, but, God, it's such like a weird L.A. evolution.

Like, you go out out there and you're like oh my god and you end up naked in a stranger's apartment you imagine oh and he used the money to buy his parents christmas presents if your parents knew where those where that money came from oh my god they were like dude son you don't nope no it's okay they're never gonna sound like christmas ever again like i didn't need a new tv that bad it's okay it's okay they knew the awful things their son did to buy him some ironic socks just have that 10 000 yard stare at christmas dinner

yeah i love you guys too yeah i love you i love you a lot every time they unwrap a present he just does a flashback to the day that he earned that money oh yeah say it's like a watch like how did you afford this he's like i was working hard but also that's my favorite thing too it's like you know all your friends know you moved to la to pursue comedy and like so what do you uh how's it going like also this description is getting smaller and smaller oh yeah people everyone knows because it's a comedian yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean god i guess you know if it is only a few hours a week or a few hours a day and you're like... Dude, I would do it. Because you're probably getting rent money in like a day, you know.

Yeah, but he only does it like once every two weeks, so it's not... Yeah, I think you're... Yo, I swear to... If I could make $200 an hour, I would be doing that. That would be my job. All right, people, reach out. Digression.sessions at gmail.com. Dude, if you are a gay dude and you want me to clean your house completely naked...

I don't think you're going to have to be a gay dude. But you would have to do it with a company so you could have legal, so you don't make sure people don't take pictures of you and shit like that. And if they do, then you have a system to support you. Yeah. God, there's so much to think about. Yeah, people could be snapping pictures of you. People could fucking... Oh, take pictures of you. People could, like, fucking...

Oh, take advantage of you, for sure. Yeah. Does he show up with security like a stripper? No. Like, hey, this is Dave. He's going to wait outside the door. No. Oh, my God.

I know. Woo! That is... Buddy. Wow. I'm sure something like that in baltimore exists it's probably everywhere yeah chris hudson's just cleaning homes naked across baltimore city good for him that would be great yeah like he's just one day he's just like decked out

in new nice clothes like what are you doing he's like i got a pretty good job now putting this mustache to use baby baby. Oh, my God. All right. Yeah. So, yeah, just low key. Yeah, I went to the mansion, just saw, you know, old faces. Yeah. And we were just like, we tried to make the ball drop and it was so cold.

We walked all the way over because like in Hamden, there's like a little ball drop on 34th Street where the lights are. Yeah. And we did not make it in time so we went all the way over there from the cold and we did not see the most it we missed it because we were like just like half a block away and everyone started cheering and we're like what the fuck yeah it sucked yeah yeah it's usually packed over it was so cold and then we got tacos and had good times and i passed out immediately nice yeah that's a good

night yeah i saw pictures on the gram of people over there and they always have like a dude that is baby new year whatever and uh there is a guy yeah and he like has like a bib on and like nothing else and like underwear basically runs around yeah like if you tag him it's good luck it is way too fucking cold out there to be doing that shit. Yeah. It hurt. Yeah. Like, walk. I went for a run yesterday, and it was so cold. I'm surprised you didn't die.

My iPhone, like... Stopped working? Like, this thing, the headphone thing you plug in. The headphone jack, yeah. It was, like, freezing, so it would stop working. So, like, I couldn't listen to music for, like, half my like half my run it was so annoying wow and it's just cold as shit 20 degrees outside it felt it was 20 and it felt like five or something it hurt yeah so that's what that's what we had where we went out and we ended up with like because there's not too many places

it's fredericksburg and then so it was like ten dollars to get in there's university there's a college in that town right uh marymount oh yeah maybe i don't know something like that anyway um yeah probably but yeah so we just went to that one spot and uh brian's like shots and karen's like let's do tequila i'm like what what all right did anyone from the shows come out uh yeah there were some people there um but really at that point i was just tired and we did a shot of tequila oh and then i was like all right well i'm pretty much ready to get out of here dude um yeah i'm such a bitch like uh i don't do shots anymore even if someone has already bought the shot and they hand it to me, I'm like, well, you can eat that one. I'm not.

I can't, dude. I can't. Yeah. I don't want to be drunk or hungover. Yeah. You got to balance that with some water for sure. Yeah. Luckily, yeah.

It wasn't too bad. Yeah. I think we actually did a shot of Fireball too, which isn't that hard. Fireball is more reasonable. Tequila. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Karen had a vodka soda air vodka soda i'm doing he's like yeah tequila's like jesus uh all right guys well i mean we're

walking back but whoo how did brian do he did great he um the first that like he would um like he talked about trump a little he had a really good trump bit that was like i felt like if you're a trump supporter you can be on board with it because he didn't like like he talks about Trump a little. He had a really good Trump bit that was like, I felt like if you're a Trump supporter, you can be on board with it because he didn't like outwardly trash him, just kind of like sort of like tangentially did it. Where he's like, I think our next president, you know, whatever you may think of this president,

I think our next president has to be a woman that just talks a lot of shit. Yeah, he did that at Jin Jux. It's really funny. He's so funny. Where he did that it's really funny so funny where he's like a person he's like she's just on twitter and she's like making fun of actors that get fat yeah like george clooney looks disgusting now and then that's really funny those interviews and it's like my son got that bomb ass dick god yeah he's great he's coming back to jen and jokes in march hell yeah yeah yeah oh yeah he mentioned that yeah um and then uh so yeah after the first show people were like i don't know about

the last i mean you guys weren't uh we'll just say you guys were apolitical and it was like yeah dude people don't want to talk about it it's crazy no that's the thing so if you mention it if you bring up trump in a room where you definitely know that people don't support him, I think people get bummed out because they're like, oh, I forgot that he existed for a little while. I don't know. I think people like bashing him. In D.C., you can bash him all you want.

You can, but it's like you better bring it pretty good. You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You better be fucking funny. Yes, exactly. Like you can be like, yeah, that guy. And it's like yes yeah yeah you better be fucking funny yes

exactly like you can be like yeah that guy and it's like yeah no we know he sucks like because it's all right it's so depressing and then if it's uh supporters like you just mentioning his name they're like all right yeah it's so deal what's the deal my friend brought that up um during the election she's from virginia beach it's really conservative yeah out there and a lot of her friends from back home yeah all her friends who voted for hillary you know talked about it on facebook but she like all her friends who voted for trump like they didn't talk about like yeah the fact that who they're voting for that they vote like yeah like it was really interesting because a lot of people you know like they posted they voted for hill or they're, like, and, yeah.

So, and, like, when I was in Cleveland, Greg Fitzsimmons brought up Trump. And the crowd didn't want to talk about it. Nope. Like, they got weird. And, you know, he was bashing him. And then we talked about it at lunch. And he was like, yeah, you just, like, it's so weird. You can't, like, this happens all the time. Like, you cannot bring it up. Like, unless you're in, like, a liberal town. Yep. You cannot, like, they like this happens all the time like you cannot bring it

up like unless you're in like a liberal town yep you cannot like they don't even want to like talk about anything political like one time another show that weekend he kind of like had a weird something happened like a weird interaction with audience members so he's like so what do you guys want to talk about one woman yelled politics and the rest of the place literally was like no yeah it's so pervasive now too like literally like he's tweeting some shit every day that people are talking about or like it's always in the fucking news that there's something going on so then when it comes yeah comedy show it's like god damn it yeah i don't understand why people don't want to talk about it, though. I understand people not liking the bashing.

If you're a Trump supporter, that makes sense to me. But people don't want to talk about politics at all, even if you're being neutral. Yeah. At least in the Midwest, like Greg Fitzsimmons was saying. Yeah. Well, I mean, because it's a 50-50 thing. It's either going to go well or it's going to be divisive. I think it's fine. in that in like the midwest is what like greg with fitzsimmons is saying yeah well i mean because it's either it's a 50 50 thing it's either gonna go well or it's gonna be divisive like i think it's fine like i have buddies back home uh my friend jeremy uh karen and i went out to rocket

a few weeks ago and my buddy jeremy comes up here and he like came over to say hi and uh and i was busting his balls i was like oh you're all right you're not bad for a trump supporter yeah it was like what and then i was like no like we can talk about like we like actually went back and forth and had like a little bit of a debate and it was like it was fun it was cool yeah i don't agree with what he did at all but like it's a weird thing like in mark maron special he brings it up where he's like when you find out that somebody's a trump supporter yeah you're just like well what do i do with you now yeah what yeah what the fuck because it's because it's like how could you support that and then like i had to push that aside and be like oh yeah you're just you're a good person but but he is jeremy's a good dude you know so and then what did he say he's like something you get you think like uh do i want to

put the work or something like what was the when he said something like that uh i forget the extent of but yeah it's basically yeah now you got to put the time in and like talk about stuff yeah like do we talk about it yeah it's a lot of energy yeah and also then if you talk about it usually it's not going to go well and then it's like no i thought we were cool and yeah exactly yeah i had a feeling yeah because brian's very liberal yeah but um i i don't think he leaned into it too much though but there was just bits like that but a bit like making fun like any even if you are a trump supporter it has to be weird that he like trashes like actresses and like talks about how hot his fucking daughter is and stuff yeah that was the funny part like uh in the new

chappelle special i love when he was like he was like he's like man he's texting like rap battle this is to the North Korean president. I liked it. The second one when he's talking about Mike Pence and kneeling like yeah surely they won't kneel when I get there. Yeah. It's like y'all ready to do this. Woo.

Tang. Blah. He did the impression of O.JJ Simpson with bad knees. Oh, my God. No. Oh, man. The guy's a genius. He's a goddamn genius.

But, yeah, that was about it. And then we tried to get breakfast this morning at a diner. It was like a cool little diner in Fredericksburg. Was it closed? No, it was about it. And then we tried to get breakfast this morning at a diner. Like it was like a cool little diner in Fredericksburg. Was it closed? No, it was just packed because the other stuff was closed. Yeah. But and then we went and supported another local spot called Hardee's. Okay.

Yeah. A little mom and pop spot. My mom used to work at Hardee's here. Oh, they're growing then. Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah. So yeah, we ate that and then we stopped at Panera as well.

Dope. Ate so much fucking Panera food. It was a good day. Yeah, went and picked up the dog and yeah, came back here, watched some trash television. I worked on music a little bit. Nice. That's about it, man. That's about it.

Good start to the year. Yeah. I'm excited. I'm really excited for music stuff. So we're going to record with the band on uh in february cool and uh yeah we have a show at the crown on january 18th which would be a lot of fun what day is that of the week uh i'm not sure so i think it's a thursday because the 12th is a friday and karen and i are going to see Say Anything at Autobahn. Nice. That should be fun.

Oh, I got a call from... It's reminding me because it's on the 13th. I donated to the BSO, the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra once. Some old guy called me and he's like, I see that you've been to a show. Would you mind? And I was like, you know what? Fine.

You can have 50 bucks. And so I got a call from them this week and they asked me to be a part of a focus group for a new show that they're doing and uh the lady was like you can come uh come to the meyerhoff watch the baltimore symphony orchestra just see the show we'll give you two tickets uh it's free just come watch the show the following mond. Just go to a focus group at 8 o'clock, and we'll give you $225. Jesus. And I was like, fuck yeah. That's awesome.

So I don't know what the show is going to be, but I'm wondering if they just looked at when I was born. They're like, technically a millennial. Let's see what he thinks about the orchestra. Yeah, they're trying to appeal to the young crowd. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because she was asking about the Pulse series that they do. Yeah. That was fun.

And it's fun because it was funny because you could tell she didn't know who any of the bands were. So she's like, have you attended a concert in the past year? That was rock, pop, hip hop, electronic dance. I was like, I guess it's rock. And then she's like, did you attend any of the Pulse series? I was like i guess just rock and then it's like did you attend any of the pulse series it's like oh yeah i did i saw when uh why why oak played at the baltimore symphony orchestra and she goes well there were other bands too dr dog dogs i would tell you she just like kept going it's like that's just that one and then then asked me a really weird question um she goes if you could go to any time any time at all when when would you go to if you could travel in time and i was like i don't know because at first it was just like do you like

music and then it's like if you could go anywhere yeah there's this older woman and then she goes like ah it's kind of a tough question she goes oh well i'll help you i my answer is is i would go to mars when we start colonizing it okay i'll go with that too i don't know what i would travel to i would travel i think i would like to see how the world was like before electricity yeah i'd be into that i think that'd be cool yeah i'd either want to do that or like super far into the future and see like like like 300 years what new york is oh yeah i don't know that might be depressing yeah everybody's just a hologram the future's always the future is very rarely portrayed as positive in movies well there's never like a

movie that's the uh liberal hollywood elite for you that is true you know they're trying to push this global warming hoax which like our president said how come it's so cold outside in one region of the world i would love some global warming right now i love a little bit yeah i just love what did he yeah that's what he said yeah yeah he's like tweeted that like 10 times like throughout the years oh man it's hard man i've read i fucking reposted old jokes like i get it trump yeah i get dude i get it's hard man all that content you get a bunch of new followers you're like let me dust off one of the good ones like no one remembers this It's like, no one remembers this.

You know, oldie but goodie. Yeah. Trump's oldie but goodie is like, we sure could use a global warming. Next year, you're still going to be a locker up tweet. Yeah. We sure could use some locker up. You know what I mean? Yeah.

You know what I mean? Room talk. Yeah. It's fucking cold outside, guys. Dude, it's so bad. It's not fun. It's like, but this is like chicago and boston is worse than this oh yeah what the fuck do when i went to chicago for the uh chicago improv

festival that winter cumulatively they had 90 feet of snow that winter 90 feet oh my god also life just goes on if there's like three feet of snow so and when i was out there uh one one day it got up to like 50 degrees and people were eating outside like like we went to this taco place and they're like yeah open it up sit outside like it's not warm people in a tank top and shorts throwing a frisbee pretty much yeah exactly yeah like finally spring spring is god dude fuck everything about that somebody told me a story like they were in school in michigan which also gets fucking yeah yeah yeah just because it's like all the the lakes and shit oh yeah yeah yeah and uh this person was walking and then like he would just get blinded and he's just like what the fuck like i could you couldn't

see and it's like he thought like a shadow was cast across and then it turned out like and that what it ended up being was his it was so cold that his fucking eyelids would froze like his fucking eyelashes like jesus is that like who lives like that just a wrap on the day like if my eyes are freezing when i go outside like i'm just gonna call out oh my god fuck that also i've i've had it with it snowing on weekends yeah cut that shit out nature and i would love to be off tomorrow my life so easy oh uh oh man like uh what was i gonna say offer snow not go to work i don't remember something about michigan oh yeah yes karen we're only 41 minutes in come here come here kerny we gotta do an hour come here kern dog everybody wants an hour everyone wants an hour we could probably tap out at like 45 minutes so on this one we probably could yeah

this is just a little catch-up sesh so look karen now we got like uh three and a half minutes and we'll just limp to the finish line on this one yeah because technically yeah headlining sets 45 minutes to an hour we'll get to that 45 spot as a headlining set yeah no one's ever like no we've never cut out at 37 before and someone's like oh yeah but i wanted more pot yeah what what do they do on monday what do they do i did get some complaints when we weren't consistent people like oh really oh yeah definitely damn and i see the numbers go up when you're consistent too because people know they wanted to be there um yeah karen and i were working on our podcast where we uh break down trash television how's that going it's really good nice really good it's just us recapping shitty tv we watched um yeah so uh

where are we at i don't know uh how do we have shows to plug uh oh uh this thursday um the fourth come see me at gin and jokes at joe squared and then i think you're doing a show in dc uh first jokes are you doing that oh yeah i'm gonna do that that is when is that is that the fourth that's the fourth yeah i'll be there for that and then uh like i said my band uh tremendous athlete is playing at the crown on the 18th and on the third i will be at ragtime with just me it's just me and ramin that night oh yeah yeah you can do a little yeah he works no one will probably be there i was supposed to host and rami and texted us and he was like he's like i can do it if you want and i was like no i'm good to go he's like are you sure it's gonna be pretty dead i'm

like well now that you mentioned it i know he did email me and give me an out too and i was like i don't care i want to run sets yeah and if it's just the two of you i think that'll be fun yeah yeah and if no one shows up then whatever yeah yeah if there's five people you can just fuck around yeah yeah and uh and then uh that's cool maybe you can give me uh my check then for the show yeah yeah i'll text you just text him uh oh yeah yeah and then wednesday uh is trivia and uh we went did trivia last week and i had a lot of fucking fun i get sweet i got oddly competitive we lost by a point and a half. I was fucking bummed. Yeah, we got second. That's awesome.

Point and a half. But we had four people. They had six. I've never done well at trivia. I don't know, like, I don't get, like, pop culture references or sports references. Tell me about my amazing answer. Oh, he did, the play. Sorry, Karen, we're out of time.

Yeah. Hey, we're already at 45. Stop, guys. We're already at the 45. Karen, I would love to recap your momentous answer, but we're up at the 45 i would love to recap your momentous momentous answer but uh we're just we're up against the wall here as far as time oh i love you too carom is making ramen and actually in 2018 they're going to start calling it ra they thank you everybody thank you progressive bravo ra they uh yeah so that's what's going on and uh yeah i'm starting a open mic yeah

every second thursday at joe squared uh so the first one will be january 11th i think eight o'clock it's free so if you want to watch comedy come watch if you want to do it i'll be there i gotta i gotta start working on new shit. These braces come off the 22nd, dude. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. Damn. 22nd.

January. What are you going to do right when you get them on? I'm going to go up there and be like, y'all ever be handsome and own a house and be like relatively stable? I'm just going to be relatable material. And I'll be like, man, don't you hate it when your caviar goes bad? Who's with me? I don't even know.

Do you buy caviar? It comes in like a can, right? You trash. You trash. You fucking trash. What did Chappelle say where he knew rich people called poor white people trash? He said, coal on their faces. He called poor people.

He's like, I looked them in their coal smeared faces. He doesn't give a fuck. There were so-smeared faces. It's like the best fucking... There were so many lines from that fucking... Yeah. God. It was incredible. Yeah.

Watch those. I think if you take away anything from this podcast... Buy tickets to my album taping. Oh, yeah. February. February 18th. Bing bong.

Do that shit. It should be good. Oh, yeah. And speaking of Chicago, we're going to be out there. Me and Karen are going out in March, so I'm going to try to line some stuff up out there. Oh, yeah. And speaking of Chicago, we're going to be out there. Me and Karen are going out in March. So I'm going to try to line some stuff up out there. Oh, you should.

End of March, right? Yes. Yes. When it won't be terribly cold, but probably still cold. Yeah. Oh, it's going to be cold. So also, if anybody wants to go to a surprise BSO show with me to watch some fucking orchestra do something. Let me know.

When is that? The 13th. What time? Saturday. I don't know. I'm thinking probably in the evening. Why isn't Karen going with you? You don't fuck with the BSO? I'm fucking with the BSO but not a show that they won't tell you what it is. I don't think it's good.

I'm giving away free tickets. I'm getting think it's good. You're giving away free tickets as a small deal. I'm getting paid $225. But it would just be nice music, right? I was going to say it can't be that bad. You're just getting

a little high. Yeah, exactly. It's an orchestra. It's not like the conductor is going to be like, I'm actually working on poetic free verse. So here's a little bit of that.

Well, and if it is, I get to tell them what I think about it. You know? Hey, I haven't been to a show in a while. Like I like going to theater shows, even though, like, I mostly am bored. What do you mean?

Like a play? Like, when a play is good, goddamn, it's great. But then most of the time, it's just, like, not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, if you want to. Is there anything good out in Baltimore? Did you look?

Oh, yeah. Oh, but that's probably sold out for days. I haven't heard of Hamilton. Is that good? Oh, yeah. That's probably sold out for days. I haven't heard of Hamilton. Is that good? Oh, okay. I really like Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark. I thought that was a really good production. Yeah, you too, man. Someone died, didn't they?

Bono. He killed himself. No, I thought like the actor died. A bunch of people got hurt like real bad. God. Yeah. Why the fuck was someone like, man, you too should do the soundtrack for Spider-Man. Also, the title doesn't make turn off the dark, does it?

Turn off the dark. Yeah, that's gross. Yeah. Flick the switch, Spider-Man. Turn it off. Oh, my God. Turn it off. They were like, there was like hovering and shit, right?

Because like he was fighting the guy. Well, yeah. And he's supposed to like web sling around so yeah like that's how he would fall like was that for kids isn't theater like even no matter even if it is like it's mostly adult thing even if it's like geared towards yeah yeah like this lion king is technically for kids i don't know i think they just saw that all the Marvel stuff was popping off and Broadway is like, we're relevant too. Yeah, exactly. Damn. Exactly.

All right, Dig Heads. Well, this has been a nice little catch up. I hope everybody is having a tremendous 2018. You're here for it, right? Yeah, dude. You guys are all fucking ready. You're going to be the you you want to be. Take it on this year to make 2018 your bitch, dude.

Mm-hmm, dude. All right. Yeah, find us on social media and say hi and all that stuff. We love you. Thanks for listening. David Techner, take us out. Dick Russian Sessions, coming to an end. Thank you. Oh yeah, oh yeah