The Digression Sessions - Ep. 242 - Liz Miele! (@LizMiele)

Episode Date: February 5, 2018

Hola Digheads, on this week's episode, Josh and Umar sit down with the hilarious Liz Miele!  Originally from New Jersey, Liz started doing stand-up at 16 in New York City. She has two albums, Emotionally Exhausting & Mind Over Melee, which are available everywhere! Follow the podcast and Josh Kuderna, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Laughable, Stitcher plz!

Tage Network. That's a Gotti. We are here with Liz Mealy everybody! This is how we start. You gotta hold it to your lips. There you go. How are you Liz? I'm good I'm always like weirdly like excited and scared of Baltimore

At the same time Well you are in the cushy One of the cushiest spots It looks cushy Where I parked I was like oh this is kind of nice I just don't have to leave any of my stuff in my car No you can't do that Just to give you a little rundown of the neighborhood

There is a We have a my stuff in my car. Oh, no, no. You can't do that. No. Just to give you a little rundown of the neighborhood, there is a... We have a Starbucks. That's all it needs to be. There you go. We have a gluten-free bakery here. Yep. We have a dessert waffle place that's opening up.

And again, Umar is just talking about places inside my house. That's how gentrified it is. Yeah. Liz found the Starbucks in the basement. It just opened.

We love it. These baristas don't seem like they get breaks. Yeah. A couple of juice bars. There was like a- I thought you could have been like- I did not think he was going with the word juice. That was not-

He was like, we're pretty gentrified. We have like three juice. Neighborhood's coming up. I mean, we keep track of them. There's a couple of them. We don't want to- Yeah, you know, Jews have money, so it's going really well. Don't worry.

Not Orthodox ones, though. Right. I did used to live near Orthodox Jews. Yeah. They do not say hi to you. Yeah. Well, you know what? Let's know.

We got in trouble before for being anti-Semitic. Yeah. Well, yeah, it was mostly Omar. He kind of went on a rant. Yeah. How dare you? I can see that. You just got off of a tour with uh hurry right i did uh we

were we were all over the south i'm guessing a lot of alabama louisiana we didn't go too so we went we went um a couple cities in texas new orleans um and then and then we went uh seattle nice which is good it was i mean it was a great tour and uh seattle's like his home base right yeah like he's i i think he's the most comfortable i think he has this i mean he has a big fan base everywhere but i think that's like his diehards like he gets recognized in airports and like that's so crazy yeah so that's um that's where like that's the most like in new york he's just like my friend right i kind of noticed because this is the first time we really toured together this last year like i remember i remember opening for him um about a

year and a half ago in october at the skirball which is um the nyu theater sits 800 and sold out right away it was for the new york comedy festival and i was like oh good i was like good yeah good for him and then it was like jesus i had done a couple of colleges with him, but I just didn't put it together because I've been friends with him for so long. So we were taking like a taxi home and I was like, when did you get famous? Nobody prepares you for that. Like I've known this dude for almost 10 years. Yeah.

I didn't know that. Yeah. And he's always, he's always done like better than me. And like, he's always like, like I met him at a standup for diversity contest. Yeah. We were both in the semifinals and then he went on cause he's always done like better than me and like he's always like like i met him at a stand up for diversity contest yeah we're both in the semi-finals and then he went on because he's actually diverse and i just love it dude for the longest time i thought you were like hispanic or something i didn't know you're like italian right yeah no i was just like i have the face of everybody yeah yeah it's i have a new joke about i'm very excited about it um but yeah it was this kind of weird thing where like i was like oh you're like a big deal and then as i've toured with them and like people are like people are like bleeding heart in love with like they're like your podcast

has changed my life i don't know if i would have gotten through this election if it wasn't yeah oh my god it's amazing like i think it like i was um we were like sitting across from each other um maybe like six months ago at a cafe, and we were putting in emails from a mailing list. And I looked at them, and I was like, you know I have 30 Sikh men on my mailing list that would have never come out otherwise? You know what I mean? Because they're not comedy fans.

They're hurry fans. And so then they see me, and they enjoy what I do, and then they sign up for my mailing list, and who knows if they'll come out or not. And they all said nice things, what I do. And then they sign up for my mailing list. And who knows if they'll come out or not. Right. And they all, you know, they all said nice things. But I'm like, I have Sikh men on my, like, that's like. That's so funny, dude.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It's like me and Hari have those fans now. This is how famous Hari is, is I've gotten laid just for opening for the guy. Wow. That is yet to happen. Wow. Really?

That is yet to happen. I think there's 30 Sikh men. Might have a shot. I do have an extensive mailing list. Given the numbers. I think I'm using my mailing list wrong. Exactly. It means that I'm finding out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, hey guys, if I show you my boobs, what's going to happen next? I mean, mine's not efficient because I individually mail everyone on my mailing list. A dick pic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you were old school about it. Yeah, yeah yeah i want to personalize this dick pic for some people do think because i bcc you know everyone on the mailing list and people think i'm like personally sending them and they'll be like oh mar thank you so much that's so nice but i can't come like

bitch i don't give a fuck like damn you're so You're so woke. I'm kidding. You're so woke. I'm kidding. Man. So, okay. So, when did that tour end? That was middle of December. Gotcha. So, it ended with him filming his special.

Wow. Which will come out, I think, April, May-ish. Does he have a place for it? He does, but I don't think he's made the announcement yet. Oh, okay. So, it's not my right yeah okay is it some type of place that that has flicks maybe on the net or something i can't i can't i can't disclose where these flicks are okay yeah i got you they could be on the interweb they could be on the television old web flicks i know what you're talking about

just be paper you know it could have been like that seinfeld was it seinfeld vision i read a book when i was like seinfeld vision no seinfeld um he wrote a book of just his jokes i read simba's jokes as well it was like a thing people did in the 90s they would transcribe their hour into books and i would wait what come on man go to a used bookstore the comedy section it's cosby yeah a lot of cosby uh seinfeld right rock did it and that's the thing is like i liked it when they talked about like like like um george carlin would like tell stories and right it was almost like his bits expanded and it was like kind of cohesive thought yeah yeah almost like um facebook now okay okay got. But people paid money for it. Right.

But like late 80s, early 90s, it was like you just transcribe your jokes and then it would be a book. God, what a nice secondary source of income too. Like I've already did the hour and I'll just print it out. I'll take a check for that too. Yeah. People buy that. And I did.

I bought all of them for like a dollar. Yeah, right. Because you've been doing comedy since you were 16, right? Yeah. That's insane. I actually work with a woman. She's a teacher and she found out I did comedy and she said, oh, you probably don't know her.

And I was like, no, go ahead. She's like, well, I think, you know, she lives in New York. She was like, do you know Liz Mealy? I was like, yeah. Done shows with her. Yeah, and she went to high school together and she would go to some of your first shows. You guys would take the train in. She told me when i was like yeah yeah done shows with her yeah and she uh you guys went to high school together and she would go to some of your first shows you guys would take the train in she's only when i was 16 years old wow yeah so she has to die speaking of books how do i let her get away right right right tell no one what you saw it's so small like that's insane what yeah what venues

were you doing in new york it's like that is this that sounds insane like what made you at 16 be like you know what i'm gonna do comedy i was sad nobody ever likes that answer but i was really really sad um yeah i was gonna be like things probably weren't going well right yeah no but that's also the other thing like i had two things going for me the ignorance of not knowing really how scary it was. Right. And also like it didn't have to be a profession. I was 16.

So like a lot of my friends started when they were like in their early 30s. And that's like your friends and family are watching. Yeah. Mine didn't care, didn't know what I was doing. And it was like, well, she's going to go to college and go get a real job. Yeah. Let her have fun. You know, it's the same way that somebody gets into tap dance and you're like,

you're never going to make money, but have fun, sweetheart. Yeah, it's like no one's going to get like, no one's really going to be talking shit about you. I played Little League and I sucked. Dude, I was on swim team from like 14 to 18 and I literally came in last every single race. Didn't everybody clap for you once or something?

Oh, all the time. I was like, in a way, the special kid on the team. One, they thought my parents didn't care about me because they never came to any of my meets. It was just because I told them, you don't need to fucking watch me lose every weekend. So every time I would get up on the blocks,

they'd be like, ooh, more. And all the other swimmers would be like, from the other team, oh my God, this kid's going to be like from the other team like oh my god this kid's gonna be good yeah and like i would like swimming backwards yeah umar cannonballs in the pool oh yeah and i was chubby and i would literally lose by a minute or if not more which that's an eternity yeah because the kid will win and then there's applause and that's dry for some reason and it's courtesy.

You're supposed to stay in the pool until the very last swimmer. Which is usually a millisecond. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, Jesus Christ. I probably made me to last like 30 minutes longer than they needed to. Absolutely. Other parents are hating you. They're like, we're going to get stuck here because of that fucking Umar kid.

I'm going to run out and feed the meter. There was one time where the other team had no boys in our age group. And so all my friends on the team were like, hey, when the gun goes off, you better swim as fast. Like, so you can get a win. We'll stay on the blocks for one length of the pool. You need to swim your ass off and then we'll jump in and we'll still swim super slow. And that was the only time I got first place. Nice.

And we just thought we were being dicks and, you know, like just fucking around. And my friend's mom thought it was so sweet, she cried. Yeah. I was going to say, that sounds like the end of the movie. Yeah. Yeah. It's really pathetic. Yeah.

But then people find out you're not like handicapped. Yeah, exactly. And they're just like, so he's just bad at this. Yeah, right, right, right. Well, then go play soccer. Yeah. go play soccer what's his malady it's like i don't know i do knit it was so embarrassing too because when you do your last race when you're 18 you age out and so they uh you get on the block and someone reads the thing about you like where you're going to school and all my friends went to really nice schools and i went to community college, Umar will be going to CCBC.

And everyone had to fake. They were like, oh, saving money. You know, that's smart. Then you transfer. Very smart. So he's slow. And he's not smart. OK.

We should have gave him more than a first place. Yeah. Does anybody have a basket we can put together? We will be collecting funds for young Umar. Has he impregnated anybody yet? I hope not. Slow in the pool and the classroom. He's got a lot going for him.

Goddamn. I can see why his parents stay home. Umar's favorite quote was, they can't see me crying in the pool. Here he goes, everybody. So 16 and then... And then I just became 30 and then yeah you're 30 is that i'm 32 damn yeah 16 years in the game that's almost yeah crazy yeah when you look back at like your goals and dreams and like because you probably accomplished a lot i definitely

yeah i was accomplished most of them and then there's a bunch that you couldn't predict. Right. Yeah. That you're like. Yeah. So you did the podcast a while ago. And then I think. And then I made it.

Yeah. Now you're huge. Yeah. No problem. The Dixesh bump, dude. Yeah. Yeah. It's very popular.

But I think shortly after that, you did a tour of Europe. Yeah. Was that your first time doing that? Edinburgh. Edinburgh was like my third or fourth time going out there gotcha so i've been going out there for about i think it's a little over four years um i'll be out there most of april um dang so do you do the month thing like just a month it makes it makes sense to go out there like i try not to go out there less than two weeks and i

you know i did a stint where i was out there for three and a half months i don't think i had that and whoa anytime yeah soon again it's over a quarter of a year that's crazy yeah no it was um it was intense um i had to take like an emotional break um yeah but it was um it was really important and it was really good and i i don't think i could have done it you know how there's like certain things you couldn't have done any other time in your life like i just got dumped and i was like i'm off dudes yeah yeah i was like so it's like i'm not you know i'm not leaving anybody behind yeah i'm tethered to nothing yeah i hate the world yeah don't touch anybody yeah um all the seek men right now listening like i'm still seeking liz though thank you i'm very white but yeah so i it was just one of those things where like i was super sad and then i was going to be gone for three and a half months and i was like okay well i'm going

to make the best of this and i was on a like an anti-boy you know i was on my like eat pray love tour um that happened to be like in the Middle East for military. Like, you know what I mean? I'm like in Turkey and Jordan doing military tours with like a bunch of dudes that I barely knew and that I've become really good friends with because we spend every day with them on places where you're not supposed to be a woman. And you're like, hey, could you take me to the bathroom?

Wow. And then I was in London for a couple of weeks and the guy that dumped me lived in london so i'm just like there oh no it like six weeks in a country getting ready for the fringe festival yeah i'm doing like kind of stuff and like you know outside the country i'll be in belgium and jumping around but like for the most part it was like six weeks in the uk heartbroken and being like oh my god everybody sounds like him and I hope they all die. She just wants a whole country of people to die. All there.

And I was like, come on. And she's like, kill yourself. I don't think anyone in history has ever had a thought like that before. And then I went to Scotland for a month and did this festival. And it's funny because for the festival, people are usually by the fourth week doing your hour, people get sick. But I had been traveling for two and a half months and I got, I was almost losing my voice within the second show.

And I was like super sick. And like, it was funny. I never really got over jet lag cause I was like flying so much. So the first day of the fringe, I was waking up at 7am every day and I, I signed up for like a yoga class. So I do yoga at like eight 30 and I did that for the first week.

And then you start getting tired cause you're doing all these small shows. You're doing, you're already exhausted and i did that for the first week and then you start getting tired because you're doing all these small shows and you're doing you're already exhausted every night so by the second week i'm doing like a 10 a.m yoga class by the third week i'm doing a noon and by the fourth fourth week i'm like borderline cutting myself right i was like i would wake up at like 1 p.m like bloodshot eyes just and i don't drink so i'm not partying i'm just like gotcha so tired wow so homesick and so ready to go home yeah you know i've touched nobody for like almost five months right right i'm like i think i'm ready to date now i was like i'm ready to be on u.s soil and what's weird is like you hear so many accents first of all you forget that you sound like this and then you

don't really acknowledge that other people like in the beginning like you're like oh where are you from or everybody's from the uk except for like um glas And then you don't really acknowledge that other people, like in the beginning, like you're like, oh, where are you from? Or everybody's from the UK. Except for like Glasgow, where they don't, like it does not make sense. Yeah, it's like real thick, right? It is. I mean, I did a weekend at the stand in Glasgow and I mean, didn't understand the host. People would like, when you would talk to the audience, I was like, we can't, guys,

we can't do this. Is that bad? They're speaking in English? Yeah. It's just a really thick accent. It's so hard. It's in scotland oh okay yeah it's in scotland i went to a community college um but it's um ccbc couldn't afford maps some four-year shit but it was it was i mean it was an incredible experience and that's how i got my agent. So now I have a UK and Europe agent. Awesome.

So all that stuff gets... I have better representation overseas than I do here. Oh, wow. So how did the Edinburgh shows go? Because those seem like a grind if you're prepared for it. If you're like, hey, I've been in a good relationship, and things are stable, and I'm going to be here for a month. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think there's like a mini... Hannibal did a documentary on Netflix about it. I'm glad i watched it but at the same time i'm also like it's literally like if you watched like how beyonce went through childbirth you're like i'm gonna assume it's a different experience right you have people yeah famous person yeah like you have like a doctor that makes like more money than i've ever made ever right you know what i mean yeah and beyonce's like somebody's like braiding your hair while you're giving birth. Rubbing essential oils on your stomach. Yeah.

You know what I mean? So I'm assuming. So it felt the same way where it's just like the fringe is hard. And then here's Hannibal where like he would just do new material every night and people just came because he was Hannibal. He's Hannibal. Not my experience. Right.

That's crazy. I got a good venue. So like there's the free fringe which um my friend carmen lynch did the free fringe the year after um i did the paid fringe but the the paid fringe there's think of it this way 5 000 shows are going on at the same time yeah like all day right like different times looks like time square on acid it's insane it's like just littered with flyers and people flyering and yeah whatever um,000 of those shows are comedy, whether it's sketch, stories, stand-up, whatever.

Improv, all that shit. So you have so much competition. And so one of the things I was told is if you get at one of these four venues, then people come just because you're at that venue. So the same reason that somebody would come see you at the Cellar because it's the Cellar, even if they've never heard of who you are.

So I got into one of those venues, and I'm not joking. Every time I told people I was producing my show, and I got into the underbelly, they'd be like, what? It's just not something. How did you do that? Exactly. And I just submitted, and they took me, and I was like, okay. That's awesome.

And that was how I got half my audience, was just because they'd be like, oh. Nice. And I had a good time slot. You don't want to be 7 to 9 p.m. when prime people are on. So like when Eddie Izzard or like Bill Burr. Because you can't compete with them.

So you want to, like they say the prime time is like 3 p.m. Because the shows are going on all day long. 3 p.m. 3 p.m. 3 to 6 p.m. is prime time. Really? I've never done comedy that early. Interesting.

I mean, and then you also have to look at who you are. If you're, you know, telling anal jokes for an hour straight, maybe don't do a 3 p.m. show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I guess I won't be doing a 3 p.m. show, guys. Well, do 4 o'clock. I think that's what you're saying. You might go for like an 11 p.m. Because the other thing is you get out of the prime time and then you might be a late night show.

But I talk about kittens for about an hour. So just because I'm a better person. I'm coring the anal sex market. Right. I'm really trying to. And I'm kind of a mix of the both anal sex with cats I was there around 6.30

I could do that thank you so yeah it was just I mean some days it was hard and like people prepare I mean I interviewed like every UK comic I met that had done it and they all have they like are born and then they do the Fringe Festival and then I met maybe the better research was

all the American comics because it's just a different experience for Americans yeah and honestly like so many people prepared me for how emotionally exhausting and frustrating it was yeah like I was doing pretty well the first two weeks like I was getting good audiences and like you know some shows with six people. My room held 60. The most I got was 55 people, but it would range. I would say I averaged about 25 people.

Some days, I would have a Tuesday that has 55 people. I'm like, why? Then I would have a Friday that has six. I'm like, why? I don't understand. That is hard, man. I've done clubs where eight people show up. that is something i need to be better about is like when i see eight people in a room that can hold like two to three hundred people i'm just like god fuck this and i

like immediately give up and it's just it's so hard and then i mean you're the main act but what's also interesting is like not that i continuously have done my hour for six people in my career, but I have done 15 minutes for six people. Because New York City isn't, you know, you guys go to open mics and people are there. Yeah, we're spoiled. Yeah, New York's a wasteland. It's like, that's one of the nice things is New York is so awful and so hard that like six people,

it's like, I've had good six people shows. Yeah. Is it fun to do an hour for them? But I had some amazing six people shows at the, like they were like incredible. And then you would have these like, okay,

55 people shows. And you're like, this is, we're not doing this guys. Yeah. Get on board. Let's go. It was,

it was like a good mix on average. I had people come out. I had people tell people that like their front, like my friend my friend burkash his neighbors were at the fringe and so he's like we're burkash's neighbors we just wanted to say hi and i'm just like i'm like thanks for the tweet burkash i was like people are coming out that's awesome because it's such a thing where people around the world come like i met i met everybody's neighbors sure sure but it was in like you know carmen came out to visit me and that's how she got excited about it and ended up doing it the next year cool my team with my friend maria she lives in london she came out and visited me she did it the following year um i met some really

close uk guys that um that are now like some of my closest friends i did a nice because i did my hour every night at 6 40 but i would do showcase shows throughout the day and then you exit flyer so you do like 15 minutes and then you'd be like hey if you want to see the full hour i'll be at the underbelly at 6 40 and then that's a grind man 30 days i did a showcase show and it was three uh four people i was one of the four people we all did 20 minutes and then we would exit flyer and so i saw those guys every single night and at first i would just like like new york i would come like 10 minutes before my my set but then they became like my family and I was like slowly becoming like more sad and just wanted to go home.

So we'd be like, Oh, how was your show? Oh, four people showed up. Oh man, you'll get them next time. Danny. I'll be like, Alistair, how was your show? Murdered, packed. It was amazing. All right, Alistair, you're the worst.

But there was like one night and I was like, guys, I'm not okay. And I just started bawling. Really? And fucking like Alistair gave me this hug and this pep talk. And then we smoked pot together. And then he was like, let's go get a cookie. And I was like, Alistair, I do need a cookie. And like went hiking together.

And it became one of those things where I was like, I would show up at nine o'clock when the show started and we'd watch everybody's show. And it was like, there's always one of my favorite people. It was like camp. Yeah. I was going to say a very like communal. Yeah. It became very much like camp.

Comedian camp. Yeah, I was going to say very communal. It became very much like comedian camp. You check in on people. I mean, I guess I went to gymnastics camp when I was a kid, but I don't. The same way that in college you'd be like, hey. At the dorm. Yeah, you'd be like, hi. Like, hey, you seemed a little off. Oh, you got a bad review?

Well, they're 20 and they're stupid. You're fine. So that's the thing. It's like people would get bad reviews and you would see their complete disposition fall apart yeah and you are being reviewed by like 21 year old girls that are just like i didn't get it and you're like you wouldn't it's not for you yeah do fuck people so like uh i'm hosting for tim dylan at big hunts this week yeah yeah it's been all like the yesterday we're all like you know friday early shows are always the fucking worst. And God, it was so funny because it sold out. And Big Hunt, when it sells out, I would say maybe a third of the audience can't sit.

And so there was this group of Pakistani people just standing right near where the comics sit. And they fucking were not into the show. Because it's like there's a cultural barrier and they're talking shit about... Are you Pakistani? Yeah. Okay, I was going to say, for a second, I was just like, can we shit on them

because you're Pakistani? Oh, yay. I'm going to Pakistan. Remind me to tell you that. For what? For comedy. No. Oh, Liz.

Pakistan. R.I.P. Liz. All right, I'll send my mom's family. Well, my family, I guess, too. It's still over there. Sweet. I'll send them to see you. I'll send you details. Pakistan. R.I.P. Liz. All right, I'll send my mom's family. Well, my family, I guess, too, is still over there. So I'll send them to see you. I'll send you details. Continue your story. I don't even think I could perform for Pakistani people.

That's insane. Anyway, so these people are just shitting all over the show in Urdu, which is a language my parents speak, so I could understand the whole time. Wow. Yeah, and they're just shitting over the whole show. Wow. Like you at all? I don't. They didn't come up to me or say anything to me i don't think so especially because like they're they seem like they might have been religious and uh you're the opposite and i'm the opposite and i'm talking you know and uh i'm not religious and you offend me oh really jesus that's another problem i had like uh when

i headlined a show in dc on tuesday people came out uh because i opened up for huston minaj last year oh and they were a muslim couple and they were very and you know and they were cool but you know i think they were expecting clean clean more thoughtful like huston minaj is very thoughtful on stage yeah i mean i have the same problem with hurry hurry's very pc and so there's certain jokes that people have come up to me afterwards. I've gotten fans, both from my feminist exposition joke where I have like crazy feminist fans. Right, right. And like, keep in mind, I'm a feminist.

I'm 100% behind. But I'm also an ignorant piece of shit. Yeah. I'm also a comedian. I was going to say, you're not doing a TED Talk either. Like, it's comedy. And the truth of the matter is, whatever I am, I make mistakes. So you have a lot of these people that are like, I've had people, especially this new

ethically ambiguous joke, which is like me pretty much making fun of myself. This woman was just like, I've been a fan of yours forever and you said this and I just don't think it's okay and maybe you should speak to some of your friends of color. And I was like, okay. And I was very polite and i'm always polite because i guess i do appreciate it but at the same time i'm like i tell dick jokes come on guys but i had to be like ask their approval they told me to write it right yeah i said it in a conversation they're like that's hilarious yeah i think that's a problem now though because comedy

like the the way people experience comedy is shifting and now you seek out like personalities more than just comedy right true so like yeah then like i've had the same problem with like i've had to block some of people who've seen me open up for hurry because i'll post shit and they don't like it and then like i'm really polite and then i'm just like you know what we disagree yeah i even told the woman i was like look i'm gonna unfriend you and block you because we disagree and like i can't afford to lose my job yeah over your comments like it's just not worth it and i'm i'm a human being yeah you know what's the difference between me and you yeah but i put my opinion out there and you're too scared because whatever you might have a job where you're not

allowed to or you just aren't no i yeah but there are risks to me saying what I'm saying. And some people find it funny and some people don't. But you can't keep me in a box because I said a feminist joke here and now I'm going to say an ignorant joke about killing babies over here. I am the same person that said both things.

Exactly. And you're doing it as a joke. It's like, let's laugh at this. It's not like you're at a podium being like, this is what I firmly believe. Yeah, I'm not in politics. Right. I mean, it's so funny.

I don't know if you've had this because people have this distorted view of your career because if you've been on TV or if you're a public eye in any sense. Yeah. But during the whole, you know, when Trump was just running, people were like, you fucking liberal one percenters. Celebrity liberal one percenters is what he called me. And I i was like i would love to show you my lack of a savings account to show you how far away you are do do i look like angelina jolie are you nuts look at my imdb and get back to me about what celebrity one percent yeah i'm in the one percent

huh okay i'm in the one% of I might be homeless tomorrow. Like, tomorrow. That's what's so funny. Like, when you first start out in comedy, you're so stupid. And I thought if you got on Conan or if you had a half hour. You've made it. You've made it. You're a millionaire.

And then you go back to your waitress job. Yeah. Right. Like, I remember Dan St. Germain was like, yeah yeah after i did my half hour i had a show a showcase show the next night in new york and there were four people there yeah and i was like oh right god and yeah yeah and i remember explaining to my dad yeah after i opened up for it was the first time we met these people on tv they're homeless for hurry my dad was like what and uh and then i got booked to open up for todd barry and there my dad was like ah and uh and then i got booked to open up for todd

barry and there my dad was like ah when are you gonna be the main guy yeah and i was like probably never dad and those people have been doing it for like 20 years and they're you know they've been like they have some tv credits and they're still not like super rich or anything and he was like you should quit comedy yeah he's like not super rich like very serious about like every like last time i went home my dad's like so are you making money yet and i'm like oh not enough i guess not enough to quit no they come out to shows are they supportive uh yeah i think like they like that i do it i think it scares them how much i do it and they're like scared i'm gonna leave like i have a really cushy career with amazing benefits and they're scared i'm gonna leave like i have a really cushy career with

amazing benefits and they're scared i'm gonna like one day leave it yeah yeah but that's just the parental fear of when i die i don't want you to be right yeah yeah they just want what's best for you but are so half my most of my friends that have like their parents are immigrants it's mostly i like my dad doesn't want me to do it because he doesn't want me to be dead on the side of the road yeah as i become more successful i'm actually probably one of the more financially stable kids right he has yeah and he also sees like i've been hustling since i was 16 yeah like it's mostly who who i am on the business side that has comforted my father that it's no longer this risk anymore.

Right. Um, but all my friends that have like immigrant parents, it's, it's slightly about that, but it's more about what they tell their friends. Uh, it's a lot.

Yeah. I mean, like, Oh, what does your daughter do? She tells jokes in basement. Yeah. And then also like if they come see you,

like my, some of my mom's friends are very religious but like just just today my mom shared my album recording and one of her very religious friends like i want to come and it's just like no no i talk about having sex with like women and and drinking and doing drugs white women white women and like and then that'll that will make those people look at my parents as like failures failures not good people yeah yeah they'll look at me as not good people and they would be weird if i'm like around their kids and stuff because yeah you're crazy because you're

not a child yeah i'm 29 years old yeah and meanwhile like you said you have a good career and a job and there's like he's kind of garbage huh huh? And also, like, a good person. Well, let's not go nuts, Liz. No, but, like, you haven't murdered anybody that I know about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, that's the other thing is that, like, there's this whole, like, well, you know,

what are they doing with their life? And you're like, what are they doing with your life? If you pay your bills and you're, like, not a leech and you're nice, like, what else? What is there outside of that? But, like, our parents...

Fame. Hell, yeah. I think that's where you really become a horrible person. Yeah, probably. But, like, I mean, I feel like our parents hell yeah that's where you really become a horrible person yeah probably i mean i feel like our parents generation is like my dad is always like financially and emotionally trying to keep up with the joneses but not in that like what are you wearing kind of way but like yeah all my kids all my kids are healthy right and they have jobs and you know i am not worried about money and like right from nothing to being able to afford a house like yeah yep it's fucking great good things but at the same

time my parents are miserable and i don't want to be miserable yeah mine too and uh i don't want to live like that like at all it looks terrible yeah no why would you keep yeah i mean if anything like it's so possible to like we talk about all the time on podcast, because Umar and I are kind of in a similar situation where it's like you have the cushy job that's flexible enough where you can do comedy and stuff. My dad looks at it. He's like, no, it's probably nice. You probably make, what, a few hundred bucks every month about it?

I'm like, yeah, here and there. And he's like, all right, well, that's pretty good. He's just like, yeah, probably. How many of these people's hobbies, because in the beginning it does start as a hobby, how many people's hobbies bring in money and make you feel good? Yeah, exactly. And eventually it starts to shift where you're like, okay, well, now I'm exhausted.

You know what I mean? Because I'm doing this just as hard as I'm doing this. And then eventually when you make the full jump, you're just like, well, you never, I mean, there's some people that are able to make that leap and it's just seamlessly goes in that direction. But for me, it was like every $25, $50 spot was necessary. You know what I mean?

And I was piecing together my rent every month. What's it like to write and perform in that situation where it's like, this is like, this needs to go well. I need to get paid. I need to pay my rent. Like I've, I don't think we've ever been in that situation where it's like,

I think me and you both have canceled shows where we get paid 50 bucks for a spot. We're just like, yeah. Yeah. We have to talk about the variety show, too. Oh, yeah. Just like bad shows and stuff. Like terrible.

I lost my shit at a show recently. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, for me, it's not. Now I have a little bit of leeway of how I can how people can perceive me. So like opening up for robert kelly yeah um i'm i'm doing some of more more dirtier stuff and kind of solidifying what they think of

me first before i go into awesome i wish i could see you that like in that environment but like y'all seeing fucking kittens god damn they're cute bitch like almost the opposite of the way i would approach a hurry show where i'm kind of going in hard and aggressive so that when i do do stuff like i have a joke about my mom wanting to be a plant when she dies and it's like it's a clean soft but it i'm it's my closer and it kills because i've built up this trust where you're like right you'll see where i'm going just let me yeah you know what i mean let me talk about my mom and plants. So I kind of hit it a lot harder. But even right now, I can work clean. I could do clean for an hour.

I don't enjoy it. I don't like the restraint of it. I would have to almost study old material as well as piece together some of my new stuff. So I quote anywhere from $5,000 to $1,000 more for clean shows. Because I don't want to do it. And it's not fun for me. And right now, I'm financially in a place because i don't want to do it and i don't want to it's not fun for me right now i'm financially in a place where i don't have to do it have you done a show where there's kids at a club i did that uh like three months ago like it's like they're 13 year olds at a comedy club i've seen that if they choose to be there like sometimes i'll talk

about it if if the parents most of the time the parents are cool with it and they chose to be there yeah most comedy clubs go you know this is adult content and the parents, most of the time the parents are cool with it and they chose to be there. Yeah. And most comedy clubs go, you know, this is adult content and the parents go, okay. Well, so I got booked

and I was told you have to work clean because the headliner I was opening up for Taylor Williamson who's super nice. He was a runner up on I know.

America's Got Talent and well, you know, for the listeners. Oh yeah, the people. Right. I like that motion

of the microphone. You're like, the people. The. I like that motion of the microphone. You're like, hmm. The people. The people. Yeah, the booker for the punchline was like, hey, you know, you need to work clean. And we heard that you'd be good for it. And I was like, I don't know why. Who said that?

Who the fuck said that? Weirdly enough, it was Greg Fitzsimmons. So I go and there's like 12 13 14 year olds in the audience and i'm just like and that's the thing is because clean doesn't always mean content like i can tell a clean sex joke yeah right and i tell really dark yeah so they said no

cuss words no sex yeah and it was fine i got through it whatever the late shows are fine i do love the idea that you work with kids and you're like i don't know how to talk to them yeah i'm so stupid so uh snapchat huh kids you know like guys like that but you don't also have to that's when somebody brings a kid to a show like that that's their choice i'm not yeah and most times too even if the parents are cool with it they make everybody else feel weird too that's what happened that you have to address that and they're

like no we're cool it's like yeah you're cool but the people next year like what the fuck is going on yeah so you know my fucking stupid comic brain i'm like ah you gotta address it and i started doing crowd work with this kid and i just forget like this kid's 13 he is at the prime of like being embarrassed and like he was just like like looking at me like what the fuck are you doing like in my head i'm like oh my god this is worse than just not talking about it. You just be like, Hey, you have a shirt on.

He's like, shut up. Don't tell you about it. I told my mom it was gay. I don't like it. God. But then, uh,

when I was hosting for Sarah Tiana or like whatever, and, some dad brought his 12 year old and that was the best. Cause the club told him like, yo, this is, and I just, it was the, it was awesome. And then like was the best because the club told him, like, yo, this is what it is. And I just – it was awesome.

And he played off of, like, I talked to the dad and the kid, and the crowd loved it. Yeah, if they're cool, it can be so fun. Because I did some SoFar shows where it's, like, these shows in D.C. where people, like, invite people to their apartment to see, like, bands play. And they just started having comedy. And they did one where a woman brought like literally like her like four year old daughter and i was like we're cool with this like no we're very progressive it's like all right progressive because she's gonna know words yeah you don't even know yeah so i just like joked around i was like well i'm not changing my act i could give a fudge you understand and then like and then so like we did that the whole time Like going back and forth Like you know what I'm talking about

Right That's so funny What's the deal with nap time Boo You know It's like So that was kind of fun Damn that's dope

Yeah If they're cool with it It can be fun It's also like I got into stand up When I was like 13, 14 I understand the content That you see on TV

Isn't the same as What you see in clubs Yeah I don't I cannot remember this But I'm pretty sure The first show I went to was my own show, like live show. Wow.

Because I went, no, that's not true. That's not true. Because I saw Dave Chappelle when I was 15 at my sister's college and I saw a couple of college clubs. Holy shit. My sister, I saw a lot of stuff in DC because my sister went to George Washington University. Gotcha. I went to the DC Improv a couple of times.

So I saw like Mitch Hedberg. I saw Tonyony uh tony woods tony woods yeah but then like i started when i was 16 so i think i saw a couple of shows with my sister when i was 15 and then i started doing it when i was 16 so like i would see my fourth show like live show yours and i was like this has really gone downhill wow do you remember how chappelle was like it first show and I was like this has really gone downhill wow do you remember how Chappelle was like it was

so keep in mind it was at George Washington University I think it was like their basketball court or whatever so it's like massive

did you headline that back then yeah so you keep it but for colleges like they get paid like $30,000 so much money

like a crazy amount so 15 I was that was like 17 years ago yeah um but it was i mean i was when i started at 16 and what kind of motivated me was like i think rock started at 19 chapelle started at 14 margaret show started at 15 there's a bunch of like comics that started as teenagers and just like what that meant to navigate and what you know what i mean because most people are gonna be like what are you gonna talk about and like

i was in a place where i'm like i don't even know if i have opinions because my parents were always speak when spoken to kind of parents and so i just knew i had all this anger inside and i didn't know what it was right and so i just started trying to write jokes but i didn't know what i you know what i mean i didn't know how i felt about it right right so like to see other like teenager teenagers do stand up and then progress into people that had careers i was like okay and there's a lot of things that i not regret because how was i to know but there's a lot of stuff starting young um both maturity wise and comedic maturity wise i wasn't ready for a lot of the opportunities i was given right yeah because you probably got a lot of attention where you're like whoa look at this young chick like there's not gonna do this

show females right so i remember the like fourth show i ever did there was another 16 year old girl she like sang songs and whatever fuck her yeah you your boyfriend like you hired him to like take out her legs i i telling you that situation yeah't have vocal cords nice damn but um but i she couldn't even shout why and i never saw i never saw her again and so not only the fact that i've been doing this 15 years and there's a lot of people i started with that you know i don't know where they are but like i honestly haven't seen that many young female comics and whenever i do a club and somebody be like oh that kid's uh 17 years old i get a little like i can tell because they don't nobody gives a fuck about me but i'll be like oh when did you start and they'll be like i started when i was 15 i want to be like i could help you

creepy because i want to be like because there's a part of me that's not completely connected to who i was when i was a teenager so when people are like why'd you start i'm like like what gave you the confidence i was like well i don't think i had that so i don't know like there's there's a little bit of a disconnect where it's just like i wanted to do it i was sad and whatever that fear is of failing wasn't completely there because everything sucked so it's like well why is why is this any different and it also wasn't a career like you were saying like if it goes bad it's not like well now what you know it's like i just want to do this thing i'm young i don't know i actually don't know like most of the comics i've heard that started young they'll be like oh i did it like on my college show or like a town show and i'm like i've been doing it

in front of strangers my whole life like that's a hundred percent what i would want to do i would never want to do it in front of people that's the first time i started i did a college open mic yeah yeah and then from there i just kept doing college open mics and finally ventured out into like a real open mic and i was like oh this sucks this is way different this is horrible and like that uh i just think back like why do people keep doing it you know like i bombed literally for like three years straight yeah but i think when it goes well it's so exciting yeah but all it also takes is like one person to come up to you afterwards and be like really like that joke that's yeah you get that one laugh on a line that you're like yeah i knew that was funny right like it to me it's like i read so many because before podcasts like now if you wanted to start it you can listen to a million podcasts and hear everyone's story of how they

started and how they got there when i started it was books so it was books about like bill maher had a book about four comedians on the road you know what it was like not it was like fiction but you know what i mean right but i read all the joke books i read i just read tons of books anything that was written by a stand-up was about stand-up how to do stand-up i read everything yeah and everybody said it took 10 years to find your voice and it sucks and you fail a lot and i was a huge mitch headberg fan so even he talked about yeah and that was the thing that got me through like the first four years of people like mitch headberg bombs all the time yeah and i was like well he's a genius so if he bombs it's okay not thinking i was a genius but i was like so do heroin liz go up on stage and bomb she's got sunglasses on right now

but like honestly it was okay that joke went well oh that went well. And it was such a baby, minute goal. And I still do that now where it's just like, I'm trying to put something together. Okay, well, this got done or this worked. And so I think a lot of people are like, you know, you get that question all the time. How do you remember all that stuff for an hour? How do you write all that stuff? And I was like, well, why are you thinking an hour? Because it's the same idea that like, let's say you have a grueling job.

It's like, well, how do you get through it? You're like, my alarm goes off and I put on pants and then I get a cup of coffee. And then, you know, there's cookies in the lounge and that helps. And then, you know, I text a friend and they tell me I'm going to get through it. Like you have all these. And then it's almost lunchtime. Yeah. And then you smoke some weed in the bathroom and you go.

Right. But it's almost the same thing where like, okay, this full 20 minutes bombed, but this line did well. Yeah. so there's something in there i started strong but i lost them here and it becomes this puzzle and because you care about the puzzle you push through it and i think a lot of people are so used to not caring about the puzzle right they're like why would you keep doing the puzzle and you're like no because this puzzle is gonna be love i can tell love is gonna come from this especially now because like comedy is just so fucking popular it seems

like with the podcast and just it's all over netflix that like you see like people start and stop like you go and open mic just now in baltimore which is such a small scene and like fucking no i don't know like more than half the people in that fucking place yeah easy yeah there's like more and more every day yeah yeah so it feels so weird too in too in Baltimore because I feel like it should be all the same people. And then when I go to sidebar, I'm like, oh, am I like the old man now? Yeah. Dude, we're some of the oldest people. Hello, youths.

Hello, youths. Yeah. It feels bad. But it also, I mean, I have that in some ways because I still do a lot of like smaller shows and bar shows where like. Right. I mean, they're still super important to me. Like I'm a writer and i get really bored

really quickly so like for me you know if you just do club stuff you especially if you're being paid you have to do well yeah so you don't grow yeah but like there's um there's these um new material nights at the fat black pussycat you get paid 15 this is where i am in my career don't brag guys i now get paid 1515. Whoa! Miss 1% over here. Yeah, 1% in the comedy world to do bad material. But it's packed. It's like the open mics that you dream of.

It's packed. They know it's new material night. You get five minutes. You can bring your notebook. You can say whatever you want. And it's like, I look forward to it. There are Mondays and Thursdays. It sounds so silly, but one of my main goals in stand-up was i just wanted to go to shows for free right such a fan girl and i was just so in love

with comedy so like that was something that as i got past at clubs i got past at like half the clubs when i was 19 so i was like oh i can just i can just go here yeah this is amazing but now it's like 15 years later and i'm like yeah i could just talk out of my ass and i get paid for it yeah dude what's up that's dope the dream is like that chapelle thing where people see you you go to a club and you talk for an hour and it's not fully formed and people are like well we're just happy to hear that he read the newspaper yeah right right right well it's a pleasure to be a part of the experience he's at a level where he can just make that a special now yeah that was his second special it was so good way better than the the the

i like the one in the theater yeah i liked them both just because it was cool to see him be like a master in both situations because working a small room is its own set of muscles as well and to be that skillful and like but also have the theater where he's like i can like have thousands of people in the palm of my hand but then also i can be in the back of the comedy store and sit on a stool and smoke a cigarette and people are like you're a genius yeah and you see like how it's done kind of how you build and act right cool man yeah oh dude you wanna so uh yeah speaking of not fun so yeah we just have to talk about this because we haven't talked i think i haven't seen you since the show so it was last sunday right down the street from us

liz is like a wine bar and they're having a variety show it's like mostly it was mostly it was just music okay so it was all it was all bands yeah like folk indie bands like yeah they're nice there were a lot of man a lot of man buns i saw that type of thing and uh so umar was gonna do the show and then a comic dropped out and he was like hey do you want to do this show and uh it's like do you want to die with me yeah pretty much fuck it at first he was like yeah we'll put you guys on first and then we'll do the music which makes more sense way more dude so i go and then the day of he's like hey we're gonna do the comics at the tail end i was just like you don't want to do that bro dude and we're not getting paid oh and i was just like you're setting it up for a bad show it's in the

neighborhood i'll hand out flyers to my recording. It'll be a win-win. And for me, I had gotten my braces off like a few days before. So I was like, well, fuck it. We're gonna celebrate. Yeah, exactly.

And I was like, oh yeah, I'm gonna get on stage because I had a lot of material about my braces. So I was like, oh, I wanna like go fuck around and take these babies for a spin,

you know? Anybody impressed? Yeah. They're like, no, we all have that too. Like a Disney prince. If anybody wants to lick them? I'm a real boy.

Who's that model? Look at her. So, so yeah, so we show up and then you're like, Oh, actually this band's going on. So we're going on later than we thought.

I ended up being like, an hour later, ended up being like close to nine o'clock. Right. So anyways, so the, all these bands had played and all the people in the audience are the bands and then friends of the band and they're all like chatty and shit oh and they and then you have to

tell these people because you can be chatty and listen to music yes to tell these people yeah they have to stop being what they are and listen or they're bad people yeah it just sets up uh you shouldn't quote umar but but so it got bad so i so i don't know if i'm i'm not going back to that venue oh you can go back no well okay so yeah okay so yeah so uh one second you weren't there yeah but last minute they decided to throw on like very woke slam poetry people right before i saw like before me like it was like the worst but still it was But it's almost like what they think of art. They're just like, music is the best. Then these people that are not really comics,

but they're not really musicians. And then the trash. That is so funny. That is the... Yeah. That's the de-evolution. Yeah, we'll let people close out to Martin Josh. The busboys have something to say.

Right, right, right. Come on in, joke trolls. We're like, hello. Hi. Their teeth are so straight. Yeah, at least their teeth are good. And it just sucks because, you know. Here are our observations.

Josh and I are like, not to toot our own horn, but we're funny and we've done cool shit. But in that room, we just look like horrible, horrible, horrible comics. Yeah, so I was going to get there a little earlier. And then you're like, oh, the band just started, and I was like, fuck that. I'm just going to wait here, because again, it's like 10 feet from my house.

So I show up a little late, and then I'm talking to Umar. He's like, hey, do you mind going first? And I was like, yeah, no problem. And then as we're having that conversation, the guy running the show goes on stage. He's like, all right, and now the comedic stymies of Josh Kedernan.

I still have my coat on. I'm like, holy shit, what the fuck? But so Umar was nice enough to be like, no, no, no, he goes up and be like hey everybody we're gonna do comedy now um so i'm gonna be up later it's gonna be really fun but i'm gonna bring up my friend josh so he brings me up it was really nice kind of sets the stage but people are still chatty and like i'm trying so i get up there and like i had trouble getting the mic out of the stand i was like fuck it i'll just leave it in you know i thought it was like stuck in there and then then the guy running the mic out of the stand. I was like, fuck it. I'll just leave it in. I thought it was like stuck in there. And then the guy running the show comes out and pulls it out.

And I'm like, just perfect ease. Yeah. And I was like, I was like, all right, well, I've lost all confidence in the crowd. Yeah. The crowd. He's not funny and he's not amazing. Yeah, exactly. What is he doing?

Is that a he? He probably just had braces like a week ago what a bitch yeah so i was like so i was trying to get their attention i was just pandering i was like all right baltimore who likes baltimore and they're like yeah and i was like who likes weed and they're like yeah and then to fuck with i was like and we all want to build that wall right baby and they're like no that's that's no. That's a joke about marginalized people. And then the popular big art school around here is called MICA. And I'm pretty sure they sort of was like, all right, give it up.

You go to MICA. And they're like, woo. And I was like, give it up if your parents pay for you to go to MICA. And they didn't like that. But I'm doing my bits. And I'm trying to like hone in on people that are paying everyone's talking and so many people are talking and even like i tried to say like like i was trying to do it in a casual way of like hey shut the fuck up

like i was like yeah when i did this joke the other night to a crowd that wasn't talking it was a lot of fun like you know just trying to be subtle about it because in my head i'm like i could yell at these people and be like, shut the fuck up, pay attention. And then they all pay attention. I'm like, so what's the deal with pants? You know, they're like, it's just a weird vibe to be like, pay attention to me. Now here's my funny thoughts. So I'm like eight minutes into my 10 minute set and then I go to start a bit and everybody's

talking and I just go, I don't want to do this. I like said that into the mic. I was like, and i don't want to do this i like said that into the mic i was like and i don't have to do this right umar and i looked over and he goes no and i was like all right i'm done and i just put the mic in the thing and everybody was like okay and then i came over he's like dude i'm going home that's that sucked so then i bring up the next comic i think she's uh like been doing it for less than a year and a couple of her jokes hit yeah and then uh it was the same thing people talking and then i go up on stage and in my head i'm like i'm gonna make these motherfuckers which is not a good way to go into it i should have just bowed out i should

yeah what two comics they didn't listen dude just go do your fucking music i'm gonna go home right right i go up on stage and i'm like i get the crowd a little bit like i'm like you guys are awesome at the tables but the bar is talking and on the count of three let's tell them to shut the fuck up and they did that and i thought it was cool ralph cooper at rfd one two three shut the fuck up yeah and then i was doing some riffs they were kind of working and then this girl in the front row heckled me she's like hey i used to check you out at uh you i was your cashier at trader joe's and i was like oh cool so like you got paid to talk to me and now i'm getting paid to talk to you and like that got a little

cool and then i was like but now you need to stop talking and like and and then i try to go on some jokes and like it was just like they just kept talking all over the jokes and then they were trying to be helpful like when i you know i was i have this new joke when i make fun of like conservatives or whatever and uh and they're like what yeah uh-huh no like just like they were just like and i was just like just stepping all over the punchline then like these two dudes were coming over to join their table like yeah guys there's seats here no dude come see like you're invisible that's's the stuff that literally gets to me where you're like, where are you? Like, come on, man.

I'm amplified. All the lights are in my direction. I'm looking at you. Everyone's chair is facing me and you just can't. Oh, the worst part was I just met a couple. My girlfriend and I were sitting at the bar and we met a couple there from Seattle

and they're like, oh, we love commie. We're going to go take a seat and we'll watch you. And I was like, I warned them. And then, so then he then he's like you know these guys are like cool like music dudes and like like i was like oh what's up with the headphones around your neck dude and he's like uh i'm gonna use them on stage later and i was like oh you're gonna use them to not listen to comedy and like that got a laugh and then they just kept talking and i was trying to do a joke and i fucking like snapped yeah and i was just like, guys, shut the fuck up. You need to shut the fuck up or leave.

And then I attacked some guy. Which is so funny because everybody at the venue is like, oh, is this what comedy is? Telling people to leave? And I didn't know. I was on stage for longer than I probably should have been because he didn't know about the light. And I was just so in my head. Yeah, you don't know where you are. And just so fucking pissed and i thought it was going on for like like 10 seconds and my girlfriend told me he's like dude you were yelling at them for like

a minute yeah and i was just yelling like you got it i was like dude i was like you guys are the fucking worst you're shitty fucking ironic mustache and sweater i was like why don't you just leave dude just fucking go outside yeah and like just that went on forever and the crowd was just like what fuck and then you're like I work with kids yeah the bill Burr thing I was like I brought flyers for my show and I will be handing them out nice and and I was like can I even recover from this and the crowd like here was on your side they booed they were booing me and i was just like dude fuck you and uh wow tell a joke did not work and i was like nah fuck this and

yeah and that was that story yeah i mean i've had all that story yeah on both angles right like i mean it's it never ends yeah exactly but what's interesting and i've noticed in the last so i've been in therapy for eight years and like as somebody that you know counsels kids to not be you but what I've noticed more and more

because I still I still have all the feelings like everything that you said I feel 100% because I had that in me too where I'm so pissed but I'm like well yeah

but I start to almost talk to them like my therapist talks to me where somebody will be like you're not funny. And I'll be like, okay, well, that's one person's opinion. So let's fix the sentence.

I, what is it, Gary? I, Gary, don't think you're funny. And you know what? Let's use my name so everybody knows. There's got to be four people that do think I'm funny. I'm on Twitter. I, Gary, don't think you're funny. And you just do it really calmly.

And eventually either that person is like, I'm weirdly being validated and I don't think that's really good damn and you just do it really calmly and like eventually either that person is like i'm weirdly being validated and i don't understand why yeah because the truth of the matter is i'm not for everybody or the situation no one is for comedy or whatever right you do get to a point where it's just like if you're mad at them and they don't think it's justified they're only going to be mad at you back right rather than if you're like you know what i kind of relate to you i could see how you don't i'm you know i'm kind of talking about early stuff yeah you know what i mean and you're with your friends and that's kind of what i got like like what you were saying too is that the music is first and now the crowd has been trained

to be like we can talk during performances like right and i felt i've had that with comedy shows there's so many like hosts that they consider good in in New York that just do crowd work for 15 minutes. So it's crowd work, crowd work, crowd work. Yeah, which is the worst. And then they go, and give it up for your next comic. And you're like, you've just trained them for a show that they're not going to see. And it's so unfair to the other comics. I don't care if you do crowd work for 12 minutes, but two to three of those have to be like,

this is what a story is. This is what a joke is. So they understand that the rest of the show is going to be this. Because otherwise, you literally have just trained them to be the worst audience. Yeah, they think the whole thing is interactive. So the same thing happens with music. We all passively listen to music. It's like two hippies that sit there and listen to music.

But you're always brushing your teeth or driving or doing something else. It's a passive. You put it in the background at a party. Totally. But comedy, it's like, this is my favorite in the background at a party. Totally. But comedy, it's like, this is my favorite joke. Shut up.

Yeah. Like that, you have to be present and I think most people that if it's not a conducive comedy venue, they're like, what?

I'm eating chicken fingers and I'm with my friends. I don't like you. There is also just a certain type of person. I'll just say in Baltimore, their idea of going to a show is just them hanging out with their friends and being able to like do whatever they want i put on white women

like hipsters and uh like i put on a women's march benefit show and so it brought out like non-comic fans like people who don't go to my regular show and like they're just fucking assholes and you're like, you have the right to choose, but I also have the right to kick your ass out of here. Show is like packed. And like, they got mad at me when I told someone,

I was like, dude, you can't turn a chair to use it as like a table for your pizza. Because like, there's people who could sit in it. Yeah. Or like, we're trying to shave.

Yeah. Or like, I tell people like, and they like, you know yeah or like i tell people like shh and they like you know i shush people and they're like they just get mad and i'm like you go fuck yourself there's a fucking bar upstairs like i just oh yeah you don't have to be here yeah yeah and they didn't pay money right like didn't you pass around the hat so many yeah it was uh it was a pay what you can and whatever like but there's so many people who just didn't pay and it's like oh you guys everybody's a dollar you just saw a free also like yeah but it's a benefit for the women's like sharing all these articles about whatever and

like real accountability yeah and then you don't do shit like uh go fuck yourself because it's cool to be there it's like i'm going to a comedy show that benefits the women's march i didn't give any money that benefit but i was there talking yeah duh I gotta get to DC dude okay yeah we're about an hour I think we're right at an hour Liz thank you so much

for coming by I'm glad things are going well and Magoobies is good yeah so what do you want to plug Twitter internet stuff

your album yeah I have two albums and I'm almost finished writing my third so I'm actually kind of running around polishing out that.

Awesome. It's called, I think it's going to be called Self Help Me. We'll see. We'll see what happens when I finish writing the last 20 minutes. But yeah, I have two albums, Emotionally Exhausting, Mind Over Melee. Everything's on my website, lizmele.com, M-I-E-L-E. And I mostly just post pictures of cats on Instagram. So I don't really try to plug that

but yeah thanks for having me guys yeah of course it was so nice Josh you got plugs I am pulling them up now do you have yours up first yeah my album

recording is on February 18th Sunday yeah what and people are gonna be off on Monday that's President's Day so come out Monday's birthday

come through and Judah Friedlander tweeted it out very nice yeah that was really nice so did Liz Mealy of course of course let me finish four and a half people that liked it pretty big following shout out to that half person and then gin and jokes every first thursday show squared and i think there's a couple other shows and i don't know just find me on instagram facebook yep uh yeah so on the 9th, I will be at the Beer Baron in D.C.

Umar's special again is the 18th. On the 17th, we're both doing Atomic Books, right, for the Centurion show. I forgot about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The 21st, I'll be doing Black Card Revoked at the D.C. Drafthouse. And the 22nd is Speechless, a show that I host. So come out to that.

And in April, I'm going to be – you're going on that too. We're going to be opening for Dan St. Germain at Autob bar and with jim meyer yeah yeah baltimore crew bunch of good shit i'm sure there's gonna be uh uh no one's gonna make us think about it being an all dude three white guys too oh yeah i'm not i'm the not white guy yeah uh all right yeah liz thank you so much and thank everybody for listening say hi on the Oh, yeah, I'm the not white guy. Yeah. All right, yeah. Liz, thank you so much. Thank you. And thank everybody for listening.

Say hi on the internets and all that stuff. And David Koechner, take us out. Dick Russian Sessions, coming to an end. Thank you. Oh yeah, oh yeah