The Digression Sessions - Ep. 245 - Hiding "Legos" Under The Bed

Episode Date: March 12, 2018

Hola Digheads, on this week's episode, Josh and Umar sit down with one of Umar's new roommates and comedian, Evan Donohue, for a group hang over cold brew, as us yuppie jerks tend to do! This one is more of group hang that has some great revelations regarding Evan's "lego" habits (poop). It's a goofy / fun one. Follow the podcast and Josh Kuderna, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Laughable, Stitcher plz!

Tage Network. That's a coddy. I mean, it's no different than going to bankofamerica.com, but if I go to ripple.com, like, I'd like my $4,000. They're like, nah, fam, you can't have it. Literally, the app you download doesn't, you have to go to the general settings on your Apple phone. Have you heard of it? Apple phone? Yeah. Whoa.

Glue that to the lip. There you go, yeah. Glue that to the lip. Should we say we have Evan Donahue here? I didn't want to say, actually. Oh, God. Retired Steve. On the podcast, Ellen DeGeneres, everybody.

This is how she actually sounds. That'd be crazy. Ellen, one of the best, like, some of the best outfits I've ever seen in my life. Ellen DeGeneres? I've never watched or paid attention. She's got a great haircut, I'll tell you that. Outfits like you guys. What do you mean?

Like tight shirts, jeans, and like a hoodie. Yeah, she's dressed like a low-key dude. A basic dude. Yeah, like a normie dude. Yeah, yeah. My style has been described by a security guard at work as edgy plain. And I kind of like that. What part's edgy?

I feel like a black guy. You know, the shirt. What part is edgy? These i kind of like that what part's edgy i feel like you know the shirt what part is edgy yeah these are nike shoes uh just plain t-shirt or plain like long sleeve shirt jeans i wear the i've been wearing the same type of shoes for the last 10 years the tigers yeah does that bother you at all that would bother me why yeah because i need diversity i got to move on at some point yeah like i just got my first pair of nikes last year yeah i have nikes too and uh oh yeah this is i just don't like wearing them they're not the most comfortable shoe i've ever worn as only suko tigers hmm what shoes do i have conferences do you have flyers

really 350 boots holy shit trying to get me into boots yeah he's like check these out i was like I have Converse's. Do you have Flyers? Really? $350 boots. Holy shit. Trying to get me into boots. And he was like, check these out. I was like, no, motherfucker. Dude, it's important. I bought a pair of boots from Target for work. And I was like, what an adult I am.

They were like $29. No, I went to that store that used to be like the cool guy store. But then they reinvented it. And now it's just mainly women. There's one on Avenue. Yeah, what's that called oh bright side no god i wish our weekly yuppie complaints okay well so for people who don't know bright side is like a it's like a local chain clothing store yeah Yeah. Kind of like your Urban Outfit or American Apparel. But they have this really weird business model.

I'm excited. I'm excited for this. The best business model I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. And Evan and I have been talking about it all week. What is it? So they will just get like, okay, first of all, they only hire like super attractive women. I mean, I wouldn't agree with that, but all right. Okay.

They're all beautiful. And then it seems like they encourage these women to have these Instagram pages and use their Instagram pages as a way to get people to come into Brightside. To advertise. Yeah. Like a charm for me. Oh, that's cute. But these chicks, they'll just post. Evan's like, can i see your pantsuits please

yeah their whole life is just like a photo shoot it's right so weird and like they're so high they're individual instagrams yeah and they'll just like post it's just like a picture of them like literally do you think they like that underwear yeah they must like it they're like yeah i'm like essentially like a low-key model yeah exactly you're a fucking celebrity dude i've this is how creepy it was i followed this chick that the later that on instagram yeah after she got off work i was waiting in my car i followed her for a while i know where she lives and like without even meeting her or anything because i was you know you're like whatever bright sides page comes up and then oh like in the explore or whatever yeah and then you're like oh who's this and then you find out

like all right follow and then i went to our house i like you're like resigned to the fact okay i actually the creepier part i don't follow her but i know her name so i just type it in so i'm like if i ever run right weird if she was like you followed me that is interesting that is an interesting debate what's creepier to follow or to type it in every time I think it's okay to follow it's okay to follow yeah

but my crazy brain was like maybe we'll meet it would be nuts why are you already friends with me on Instagram I'm sorry and I'd lose my chance to ever be with her or she's like wait Evan? I follow you

you have the high pitch voices and pretend do we follow? I follow a lot of people but Evan brought up a good point they'll post a picture of themselves and instantly 400 likes and they'll post a picture of themselves and instantly 400 likes or whatever. And then they'll post just a normal picture of whatever they thought looked cool and it

gets no likes. Landscape. Yeah. I'm out on the mountains. No one cares. Right. Yeah. What are you wearing on that?

Exactly. They're not in the picture like, boo. No hoodie? Fuck off. Who gives a fuck about a tree? But it seems like a very just kind of gross way to market your business especially in today's time uh or i don't know maybe not you know but then it just seems exploitative yeah but if there was a guy doing that right it'd be a whole

different thing but if it's a woman she's like no it's empowering i want you to dress like you know that's their whole thing too like you go to their to their store and say well fuck my boss and like I'm a bad bitch and stuff yeah yeah I'm like Jesus fucking Christ what a terrible mug yeah fuck my boss he can eat my shit you'll be fired if you have that mug yeah well you know they don't have like real jobs. Anybody buying that, I'd be like, you have zero personality. Jesus Christ. Well, that brings us to this week's sponsor, Bright Side. Jesus Christ. No, I actually have two flannels.

They're the most amazing flannel brand. They have great clothes. They have a great sale going on this weekend, actually. Really? What's the sale? You go in there. They have a basket full of little slips. You pull out a slip, and it has a percentage on it,

and that's your percentage off of everything in this store. I'm doing this. I'm 1,000% doing this. Can you just not buy anything? Can you just put it back in? Yeah. Because you pull that 10%,

and you're like, Motherfucker. Yeah, I got a 20%, and I was like, I'm just going to get a birthday card for Miles. I think they were pretty pissed because the card costs like $5, and then I got a discount on it. Yeah, that's awesome. That'll be $4. Also, they're pretty pissed because the card costs like five dollars and then i got a discount on that'll be four dollars also they make no money on the cards yeah but

they have two they have two stores now right one's in fed one's in yeah i think they have three actually three jesus christ see look how much we know about this all right the only reason i know like karen is obsessed with my My Karen is obsessed with that store. We'll go out and grab a couple drinks and I'm like, man, this is really nice. She's like, I know. Do you want to go to Brightside? I'm like, no! It's a really small store.

How often do they change their... Probably once a month, I'm guessing. I feel like it's Forever 21 extra. Right, right, right. For hip grown-up. Yeah. Like, hip grown-up women. No, for hipsters that are going to spend more money instead of going to a mall and spend less.

Oh, yeah, dude. Going to the mall sucks. It's, like, fucking depressing. And I don't buy anything either. Yeah. I look forever, and then I'm like, oh, I don't want to buy anything. Like a Rundle Mills? Oh, boy.

And, like, you're around, like... Yeah, we know what you're saying. No, they're just sad-looking people. There's just annoying kids everywhere. And I don't know. It's just... Where are your parents at? Yeah.

They're running around. It's just nice to walk into a little... Well, now everyone does their shopping online, right? Yeah, I think so. I hate doing that, though. Do you? Oh, because you want to try it on before you buy it.

Yeah, but jeans is a nightmare for me. Oh, dude. I got these on Amazon. My thighs don't make any sense. My waist may be a 34, but I have to get 36s because a 34 with these suckers. Good gravy.

Those gams. He does have big thighs. They're the worst. And girls are like, oh, no, it's great. I'm like, no, if I was tall, that would be hot. But I look like a stumpy little. No, you don't look stumpy. No, you don't look stumpy.

And girls like that, dude, because like girls. They like thighs? No. I've never heard a girl mention a thigh ever. Girls say dick sizes don't matter, too. Right. You know deep in your heart. Every girl I've ever been with has been like, oh, yeah.

No, size doesn't really matter. Too big would be awful. And you're like, you're so sweet. What's worse is when they go further. They're like, no, it hurts when it's too big. You're like, ah, I don't need all that. One time I woke up in my early 20s to this girl just looking at my dick and just going, you have like

the perfect size dick it's like not it's like the weirdest not all experience i ever had it's like that's the worst compliment not too small not got that goldilocks dick yeah like all you need to know that like just don't give any compliment to a dick unless it's that you're saying it's big like there's no i've got a way to i wouldn't want that either because it would be a lie. I'm like, come on, I can't trust you. How many guys would say that? I've gotten the softest skin I've ever felt. You haven't got that baby dick, dude. I swear to God.

She was very reluctant. She was like, this is going to be weird, okay? And I don't know how to say this properly, but your dick is so soft. I was like, what? She was like, the skin. It's like a little baby, like a baby skin. Evan's like what she was like the skin it's like a little babe like a baby skin this was like when i was like in college and my thighs would still shake and be like nervous to have sex with girls your thighs are very important in your life they like determine everything they're like evan we're nervous so big from all your nervousness, tense, and madness. Sorry. Yeah, your fucking soft twitch muscles are like off the chain on your fucking thighs.

Guys, we're pieces of shit, huh? Yeah, you know what you're going to do. Hey, how did you guys enjoy International Women's Day? That was a good time, huh? It was. I didn't do anything. What did you do? Oh, nothing.

I went back and forth on like, should I post something about this on Facebook? International Women's Day turned into Mother's Day because everyone posted pics of their mom on these long stories. And it's like, did you even... No, I was thinking about making a joke. Yeah. I was like, is that in poor taste? What was the joke?

It was just like, my future isn't female. My future has robots in it. You know? But then I was like... That's good. That's a dumb Facebook thing I can say. I think it's funny. Yeah. The future isn't female. future has robots in it you know but then i was like that's good dumb facebook thing i can say i think it's funny yeah the future isn't female the future is robots yeah i was like the future is female robots oh there you go there you go i was thinking about that i was like then it immediately goes into this like sex thing and it's like you're a pig you're

part of the problem you know no see if they say that they're a part of the problem you know what i mean like i wasn't even talking about sex robots. It's true. And I love my sex robot. I see my sex robot as an equal. I liked all the dudes that are clearly in the friend zone. They're like, I just want to give a shout out to a very special lady. I'm like, no, dude, you're really just trying to get laid. Yeah, it's so pathetic. Yeah, exactly.

That is a really white knight thing to do. I saw a post. I'm going to post that now, actually. Really? Wait, what are you posting? The International Friend Zone. Oh, International Friend Zone Day. That's funny.

Well, I guess we'll keep this conversation going while Josh makes a Facebook post. I got to post real quick. I got to post this, guys. Is this a meme? Mm-hmm. By the way, have you gotten to a point in your life where you're like, maybe I should create memes? No.

No. What do you mean? I actually made one for work. I guess that's probably even lamer that I'm like, oh, this will be funny to my work friends. Right, right, right. Yeah. It was the Drake meme where he's like this. Oh, okay.

And he's like, ah. No, it's just like you think about like oh what should i do for social media and then you just fall apart you're like maybe i'll be a creative you know i'm hoping that this new uh let's see it okay i mean okay okay that's what that deserves it's like a work joke okay yeah oh that's funny yeah okay uh those are the funniest jokes when somebody goes, that's funny. Because Facebook changes algorithm. Oh, yeah. And so it seems like everyone's getting way less likes now.

I know. And it hurts. I'm happy to get like 42. I'm like, crushed it. I know. And now I'm like, you got to do the math. Like, okay, 40 before the algorithm. That's like 100 likes.

That's good. Yeah, exactly. And at one point, Facebook was crazy. Oh, too much. I i was like why do i get so many likes this is amazing yeah you have to let it sit longer too because i'm like two likes in five minutes what is this garbage dude yeah i can't have people see this shit i at one point i was like maybe if i don't look at my status i'll get more likes i have that too i'm like, I gotta close the app. Facebook knows I'm too thirsty.

I gotta close it. I'm like, oh, this guy wants likes. We'll not give it to you. Exactly. Exactly. I'm gonna check the app in like an hour. Dude,

so, I forgot where we're going with. I totally forgot. Oh, I'm hoping that out because they did it on purpose because Facebook pretty much had to come out because ex-employees were like yeah they're all they are they're literally trying to get you addicted to the like they're the likes yeah no they're

programming you to be addicted to this app oh yeah a former employee said that and then even mark zuckerberg kind of came out and said like you know it's probably not the best thing for society so they changed the algorithm where only friends would see it and only people you really interact with. And then they also, they're trying to make it so you see less news in your news feed. But I'm hoping it makes me check Facebook less because I do check it less now. I get, yeah. How much less though? Facebook's the last thing I get on.

It's like somebody being like, I only do heroin on the weekends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do check it less now. I get, yeah. And I do. How much less, though? Facebook's the last thing I get on. It's like somebody being like, I only do heroin on the weekends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do check it a lot. And, like, it's gross how much I check it. Yeah. But I do think, like, I'm hoping. And that's their goal is to get people to look at it less. It's interesting.

Yeah. I've transitioned to Instagram. Like, I'm on the gram a lot. Instagram used to, like, get crushed by Facebook in terms of likes. It's the opposite now it's really weird now like i'm like bright side boutique okay her yeah yeah got it got it got it yeah have you ever been on your instagram in front of like a girl your girlfriend and you're like oh no this is like oh yeah we got no we get you like her you like that well we got or if they pop up in a story, if you're just watching a story, you're like, oh. Yeah, just a girl chilling in her bikini like, I got brains today.

It's like, what? Oh, I thought you said brains. Me too. I was like, damn. I'm smart today. Oh, we're going to get in trouble. Yeah, no. I don't know why.

It was just a friend of mine but like it was like i guess it was like a saucy picture and i liked it saucy and i was like hammered and i was uh in front of karen and uh boy that was not a good move she was like did you just smash that like button what's going on fam yeah and she and then she's like i'm allowed to be upset about this i was like yeah you're right you're right yeah yeah to be upset about this. I was like, yeah, you're right. You're right. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. I would say waves. Yeah. It was like some dude like flexing.

She's like, oh, I like that. Oh, you like that? You like abs? Is that what you want? Why don't you date a guy like that? That's fine. Have a great. That should be a great conversation, you two, huh?

I'm going home to look at the bright side Instagram. I was going to buy you a romper from there. A romper? Is it romper? Romper. Romper. Romper. Those are the bright side Instagram. I was going to buy you a romper from there. A rumper? Is it romper? Romper. Romper. Those are the craziest dresses because you have to, like, if a girl has to pee, she has to take that entire thing off.

That's ridiculous. Yeah. Can you imagine a guy wearing an outfit like that? Well, they made them, right? Well, you take it off. But I guess those probably have a fly. You probably put it around your, like, knees, like it's like a shorts or whatever you know yeah but still like you have to yeah all the way i know that's all right shirt off while you pee yeah i don't think

you don't you don't do that you don't do that just go into a public urinal on the for real oh Uh-oh, Eric's awake. He emerges. Get in there. Eric, how does a bird masturbate? I've been sitting down and peeing since we moved in, since I moved into the first place. What? Because the toilet seat was broken and you couldn't lift it up,

so it was just easier to sit down and pee. And I was like, yeah, this is cozy. This is comfortable. So I sit down and pee almost exclusively now. Really? Yeah, unless I'm in a rush. That freaks me out. Yeah, I don't like that. It's so comfortable. A lot of guys do it. Classic baby male. Yeah, pretty much.

I don't know if this is true, but I think my dad told me My dad told me Pretty much, yeah. I don't know if this is true, but I think like... Frigging cuck. My dad told me... I don't like... Do you like to watch you get a frigging fuck by a guy? My dad is so crazy. Did you know Umar can't pee unless he says, I'm with her? It's crazy. It's crazy.

What, you're me too, dad, dude? Come on. Hey, fellas. Fellas, let me get a me too if you pee sitting down. I wish we had enough fans where we could have a live chat so we could ask guys how many guys yeah we should do a when we post this let's make a poll on facebook okay and see how many guys sit down and pee because i bet you it's way more than you think really yeah of our listeners probably i wonder if more i feel like more women tell me like more my women friends tell me they listen to this show than my guy friends.

Oh, really? Yeah, that's interesting. I like that. I have like a one girl who, yeah, she's like an avid listener and it makes no sense. It's great. I'm glad you listen. It's awesome. Thank you.

I don't know if they're going to like it after this episode, though. A lot of bright side bashing. Okay. A lot of white side, bright side. She doesn't go to bright side. She's too smart. I mean, that place has great clothes, regardless of the business. My girlfriend loves that place.

Oh, sorry. I mean, we are just talking because we're extremely jealous i'd kill oh yeah kill oh to be hot and just fashionable girl that we were talking about evan she came up on his t-shirt and i remember like did you swipe right he was like Umar. No, thank you. Like you on the toilet. I'm going to sit this one out, buddy. You super liked her. A thousand percent. I would only do that if I ran out of likes. Yeah, doesn't that come off thirsty? Some girls are into it.

And then when she super likes you back, and then you still both ignore each other. Nice. No, but I thought a super like was more of somebody like i thought that was like somebody like sorry can i get some uh cold brew too please oh wait what is it yeah see i never fucked with tinder so i don't i don't know yeah i feel like you were never on dating apps you're that good looking well yeah damn it that yeah yeah obviously yeah i know so a lot of people i talk to who are like yeah i've never been on apps it's like God damn it. That, yeah. Yeah, obviously. No, I don't want to brag. Yeah, I know.

So a lot of people I talk to who are like, yeah, I've never been on apps. It's like, because you're good looking. Yeah. Well, no, I met Karen at a comedy show, so that was easy. I think it's like better than any app. It's like, oh, he's performing. Right. And I feel like those relationships last longer, ones that are more in person.

Really? Yes. Well, yeah, I guess Tinder is more so it's like just looks but like what about like any app like people that meet people on dating apps it's kind of like okay yeah but like match.com like theoretically you're supposed to like line up thank you on like hobbies and interests and shit like that right yeah um right right i feel like young people are on match.com though definitely not definitely not yeah it's all just tinder and bumble right yeah yeah i feel like when i get 35 and i'm still alone

match.com moving on to match yeah christian singles just get it do it all yeah you're really worried you're gonna end up alone you're so you're 28 years old oh yeah dude yeah you're handsome yeah evan so evan look good in a sweatsuit thank you i don't know if evan you i don't you the last time evan used to do comedy a lot and then he was like i'm taking a break then you came back and now are you are you done forever no no i'll do a mic when i when i feel like it i guess yeah that's i think that's a cool because you see how much i hate going to shows yeah yeah thing like it's a it's a balance though yeah i like your show on thursday the open mic yeah that was the first mic i had done in like a week and a half

yeah i was starting to go a little crazy like it's nice to like go and then have an outlet you have that itch you feel like yeah well you get worried you're like am i irrelevant you're like can i remember like i remember can i even do this can i do this yeah like i had to go do big hunt which is a it was just a mic but it's good i'm like yeah fuck i haven't performed like a week and i'm like what are my jokes like what should i say first and it's just yeah exactly yeah it is but i feel like when you don't do it i'm like i i'm a boring person like i have nothing to talk about yeah i just go to work go to the gym eat and then that's it you know right But there is funny shit that happens along the way, but you're so used to it.

Yeah. But then you just, I'm like, am I just becoming one of those normal people that just live life? Oh, dude, my life is basic as shit for the most part. Me and my girl make blue aprons and watch Vanderpump Rules. We're pretty fucking basic. Yeah. Have you guys started watching Queer Eye?

Yeah. Dude, you see this? I know they talk about it on Comptown, but whatever. The stand-up comedian episode. I missed that one. I saw a little bit of it, but I only saw a couple episodes. There was one episode, the one where they... Well, they're all in Atlanta, but it's like that guy who has four kids or whatever,

and his house was a mess. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a very religious person. Was he divorced? No, no, no. He was married, but like. They have religious people on that show? Yeah.

Yeah. Whoa. The gay guy that doesn't get any respect. The architect guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He. Architect. I don't know what he does.

He's an astronaut. Actually, I have no idea. Just probably hires Mexicans to do all that i know i know seriously i know it shows him like painting like a planter box he's like i know stuff and they're like cut they're like what is this gross that shows the best show man he's like he's like renovating the whole kitchen i love your queer ojo but yeah but that guy had like this long conversation with the guy about being religious and growing up like hating yeah yeah i just thought good uh yeah i thought that episode

was funny just because like they went to the house and then they got them out of the house and like all right let's redo it and then they got in a glitter fight all around the house and then they got them out of the house. And they're like, all right, let's redo it. And then they got in a glitter fight all around the house. And it's the most stereotypical. This religious guy driving away. He's like, let's put glitter around. He's like, no, let's not make fun of them. They're probably going to do a great job. It's not like they're running around the house in a glitter fight.

Cut to them like, oh, my God. This is crazy. There's gold glitter, too. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's all over the house. If somebody got fucking glitter on me, I'd be blood red mad. I remember yelling at somebody recently because they put glitter and I was just like, what

the fuck, dude? Like, that is not cool. You can't get rid of that shit. Scientists want to ban that. FYI. Really? Yeah. Apparently, because glitter, like, it doesn doesn't you can't throw it away it just

doesn't like it doesn't it's terrible gets into the sea and shit like that glitter yes look it up google it oh my god it was just like a beautiful sea turtle that looked like it came back from the club just covered in glitter and garbage oh man wait where were you talking about right before queer i uh Not doing comedy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dating apps. Oh, yeah. Well, like when you don't... I, like last night, I didn't have to do a show.

It was amazing. Which show? I thought you didn't have to. I didn't have to. I was just had a night out. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, God.

Yeah, but you appreciate it because... You got to have the balance. Yeah. Yeah. Like tonight, I have to drive an an hour a little over an hour to do a country club in frederick oof and it's me who's that with yeah sonny fuller and timmy hall what the fuck but it pays so good oh i'm sure yeah it's gonna be so yeah maybe hopefully good i think yo sonny fuller son sunny fuller at a country club i

would pay a lot to see that say i'm fucking the dirtiest guy oh yeah and he always involves the audience one time i saw him at goobies he's like i like to have ass sex how about you sir you like you like to fuck ass he calls him sir and then he's like what about your girlfriend say i was fucking her in the ass like oh my god he does that in the goobies he was hosting the new talent show so he crushes at mcgooby oh yeah oh yeah when i featured for him for his weekend he was really fucking good i've actually never seen him do stand-up i just know he's one like dirtiest comic oh yeah he's super he's super funny yeah he's a hard pill to swallow for people

who aren't he's like he's just an old school like ball buster yeah he's super he used to sell crack like heroin crack is that the same thing i don't know no way different way different sorry i do know what crack is yeah what yeah like come on dude yeah when you eat a coke yeah i'm stupid what are the kids doing though yeah Yeah. Sit down and pee. They're mainlining Snapchat. Good times. Call it good times. What the fuck were you talking about?

Oh, the dating app thing made me think of something. Our friend, Alaje, signed up for one of those. I don't know if it was Match.com or whatever, but they asked you all those questions, like figure out your personality. And one of the questions was, did you think that Adnan did it? How does this... It's unbelievable

how many people think he's innocent. Yeah, I... One of those. What? No way, dude. Because I want to believe he's innocent. Just like many other... I think they're both guilty.

What's that? Bo Bergdahl? Is that who you're talking about? To make make a murder make a murder oh that guy no he's yeah it's shady because they also left out a lot of stuff in that documentary like uh like that he had uh stalked her like he had pictures of her on his phone and shit and uh and also the his fiancee that's in the documentary, she came out saying that, like, he would beat her and stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, well, shit. Maybe I'm wrong. Yeah. Yeah, I really wanted to believe it, too. But I'm like, how'd they get them bones in your car? The bones. The bones.

The bones really did. Wait, what was up with the bones again? The bones were at the lake, and, like, they burned her. Yeah. Wait, the was up with the bones again? The bones were at the lake and they burned her. Yeah. Wait, the bones sold me on why he was innocent. No, the bones were in his backyard. Her bones. Yeah, but there's some bones near a pond somewhere, right?

I don't remember that. It's been a while. I don't remember that. I mean, there's people that are guilty. So there's levels like Robert Durst, a thousand percent. Innocent, right? We all think innocent. Didn't he get caught during the HBO documentary?

He left his mic on. He's taking a piss and he's like, you did it. You're caught now. Is that what it really was? He literally goes, you killed them all. I love how old people be, dude, when you stand next to them. They make so much noise. I'm like, man.

They can't help it, though. I know. One time we were at the mall when I was growing up in Annapolis. We were walking by this old couple, and they were just farting so loud. Can you imagine? You're like incontinent with your wife. What a love story. And there's these 12-year-olds that are like, ah!

What is your life? And they're like, we know. We know. And old people fart. Woo! Dog. Loud. Very loud.

Oh, anyway. Yeah, so Rob Durst. Okay. Guilty. Fred Durst dead. So he was, for people to know, they were filming a HBO documentary about him. He went to go pee.

There's a big spoiler alert, by the way, if you haven't seen it. But it came out in the news. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So everyone knows. Even if you know, you should watch it. It's insane. I should watch it.

I never watched it. Really? Yeah, I just saw it on the news. You have to watch it. Just because the shit that he does, you're like, whoa, you are really insane. I don't know what he's accused of or anything. Buddy, you got to watch it. Okay.

He got away with murder several times. One of them including his wife. And he's like, nah, that wasn't me. No. And then he ends up in this random city or like town in Texas. And he pretends to be a woman for a long time. And then he kills or somehow his neighbor ends up shot in his apartment he's like i didn't do that either what and they find like a saw in his car blood all kinds of like the

evidence they had yes yo he chopped this guy up chopped his arms legs and head off threw him in the river and they're like why did you do that he's like oh because i thought people think i'm like guilty it was self-defense so know, you get rid of the body. You're like, what? Worked like a charm. Yeah. They used to be old, rich, and white. Super rich.

Wait. Yeah. But that doesn't seem that clever. They still found everything. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's not clever. I didn't say that. Oh, my God.

How did he beat the system so many times? Good lawyers, right? Yeah. And basically, the lawyers also were like, where's the head? We never found the head. Because they never found it. Prove me wrong. Straight up, they found a saw in his car.

They pulled him over. It had the dude's blood on it. He's like, wow, self-defense. Jesus Christ. Man. Yeah, you have to watch it. What it is to be white sometimes. Super rich.

Super rich, too. One guy. Yeah, you have to watch it. What it is to be white sometimes. Super rich. Super rich, too. One guy. Yeah, one guy. That's how you know, like, people, for people who don't say that, like, race relations are a problem in America anymore. The fact that a kid, two kids, three kids, who shot, who committed mass shootings are still alive. Oh, yeah. Like, they get tackled by the cops and are alive meanwhile a dude who's selling loose cigarettes yeah on the street is dead yeah he's so crazy so many

so crazy that that people are like there's nothing wrong with racing and in the most recent shooting the cops like i'm gonna wait outside yeah i heard the shooter's white let's just take a break. Let's take a break. Gather ourselves outside. The kid's what? Black? Oh, my God.

Let's get in there. Let's go. Go. This is what we did. Grenade in there. This is what we train for, people. Let's go. Not in my town, buddy.

White guy. He's probably crazy. Let's give him a second all right yeah let's assess the situation accomplish what he set out to do reach those goals it's tough out here for a white guy now we have so because in schools we've had to do uh like uh drills like active shooter shooter drills yeah dude people are gonna die no one not everyone in the building can get on it's just kids running around the hallways because they like didn't listen or the bathroom teachers um like uh someone knocked on the door and teachers open the door and let the like i was

like but what do you do in that situation if someone's like you hear gunshots and you know it's a kid knocking up do you open that door don't know. I thought you meant for like the fake shooter. Like they're like, let me in. Like, hello? Do they have like a fake shooter or no? No, no, no, no. But they have someone come and check every door. Yeah.

I've read some stuff like where they like have like an actual like dude pretending to like try to get in and they have to like lock the door and like block the door with like a desk and shit. Shit. Yeah. I would love that. I would be kicking that door to break that guy's arm i mean you break some janitor's arm he's like gee it's just a drill yeah dude i remember i mean i did the same thing as kid you guys remember bomb threats yeah oh my god they were the greatest oh you'd be out for three hours dude we had eight bomb threats in one week at my middle school.

So that still happens, bomb threats? I would think. I've never had a bomb threat working. That's like a. Because I feel like you don't do bomb threats anymore. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. These kids today.

Back day before 9-11, dude. Woo. Now, everybody fucked it up. Yeah, dude. Fucked bomb threats up. Bomb threats. I feel like you can't even because of 9-11 because no one like i wanna i don't know why but as an adult i think it'd be so fun to uh

have good times and play ding dong ditch oh yeah i thought you're supposed to say a bomb threat no yeah like play ding dong ditch and uh uh just run away like you used to do that yeah i think that'd be so fun but i feel like now if you did that, people would get so freaked out that they would call the cops, like someone's trying to break in the homes, especially because we live in the city. Yeah. People would be so freaked out. Imagine the reverse with good times, though.

Like somebody knocks on your door and you're high and you open it and you're like... Yeah. There's no one here. Did you ever do the one where it's like shit in a bag and little fires? No, no. Did you? No. God, no. Did you? No. God, no.

I think that's just a movie thing. My buddy shit in a bag. We threw it at somebody's door. He pressed it on their door. Oh, my God. So you just do shit on the door. Pretty much. Our other roommate, Eric, is awake.

Eric Glazer. Eric, what did you do with shit? Come here. Say it in the mic. Me and my friends were like the fecal bandits of town the worst home alone spinoff we lived like my friend lived by the donnybrook apartments for like town university so we would just shit all over them um the one thing like literally literally i flung like a delivery flyer for a

chinese place and sandwiched it between my shit and a door and just like stuck it to the door so where are you shitting when you do this are you outside on a leaf and then the leaf that's because you're eagle scout right yeah yeah exactly yeah that blows my mind every time i think about it you didn't pick that up from his story yeah the leaf yeah shit on a leaf badge because yeah well my friend did it he shit in a bag in my house in the bathroom and it smelled so fucking bad so bad it's like why does it smell another shit story so my friend one time. And we had to drive with that shit, too. He put saran wrap over the seat of the toilet.

Yeah. So then he just shat on it and then closed the lid. And then our friend's mom found it. Oh, my God. My buddy shit in one of those big Utz pretzels. Ew. And then showed me. He was like, look.

And I was like, stop. Ew. Like the barrel? Like utz pretzels and then showed me it was like look and i was like stop like the barrel like utz pretzel barrels yeah that's so gross yeah i've never shit anywhere except for like a toilet i think do you stand up while you shit yeah he flips it it's a mess no but we got that that squatty potty that's been a big help help yeah how is that if i honestly it were it like makes it feel like it comes out i mean it makes sense like yeah it's basically shaping your butthole to make it easier to go the only issue i run into is this is great podcasting is when you're peeing yeah and you're like oh god like yeah you gotta pay first and then because you're way up you know right right yeah the angle is weird it is a weird angle for peeing you're like, oh, God, like, yeah, you're way up. You know, right.

Right. Yeah. The angle is weird. It is a weird angle for peeing. You're right. You just do use a squatty potty when you sit down just to pee. Sometimes I put my feet up. That would blow my mind. I feel like if you get in squatty potty formation, like you're going to have to poop a little bit.

You know? Yes. And so. and that's another cool thing with sitting down and peeing sometimes a poop comes out you just like your body's like oh okay oh we're doing this and then like you just because it's like your body probably you know that would kind of scare me too like oh i didn't think i had to shit i like it no i just want as much bowels as possible i'm so back so any any production is good production for you like yesterday i was like oh my my God, I'm fat.

And then today I woke up, I'm like, oh no, you're just really bloated and backed up. That is nice. Yeah, you take a shit and you're like, oh, my pants fit. Yeah, exactly. The best is when in the morning when you look at yourself, you're like, I look good. Oh, yeah. And then when you get home from work, you're like, oh, I'm a monster. I hate it dude i've been trying to like uh yeah like uh like not fast

but just like for lunch i want to just eat a bag of vegetables you know you say for lent or for lunch okay i was like what yeah because i just feel so full but i need to eat but then sometimes it hurts when i eat because I'm like... So full. That blow. Yeah. It's just like... So I'm trying to just move. It's a horrible life. Do you know why you have that?

Like you're not lactose intolerant. I think it's anxiety. So it's a somatoform like disorder. And that means like... Somatoform. Yeah. So somatoform, it's like a psych thing like where you have physical symptoms, but the cause is psychological.

So like... Gotcha. I mean, obviously... That's how your stress manifests. Yes. like where you have physical symptoms but the cause is uh psychological so like gotcha like i mean obviously that's how your stress manifests yes exactly so obviously your like body you know there are physical changes in your body but there's no like it's not like there's like cancer or something like wrong with you yeah it should well except for that like you're anxious anytime like i was gonna do a, I'd have to poop. Oh, yeah. When I first started, I was that way. Yeah.

I think that's pretty common. Yeah. It's like your fight or flight kicking in. Right. So I'm 100% flight. Yeah. God damn it. Why do my ancestors use pussies?

Well, you know, the reason that happens is because when you go in flight or flight, fight or flight, it's actually fight flight uh shit or whimper yeah yeah so actually fight flight freeze because some people freeze uh when they experience like trauma oh yeah yeah they just shut down yeah exactly that's like your body's way of protecting so you don't and that's why like sometimes you don't remember it and you have flashbacks or whatever but uh it's because it's pretty much your digestive system stops working because your body is pumping all this blood to your extremities in case you need to fight or flight. And so then your bowels, it all gets kind of loosened up. And that's why you get this shit.

Like close to death, essentially. Yeah, exactly. Because you just don't need to use that at that moment. There's more other important things to use. Get it out of the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's better than if you're fighting a guy and he starts taking a shit? You stop.

That would be pretty scary. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You cool, bro? Yeah. Are you taking a shit right now? I feel pretty good, though. I literally scared the shit out of this guy. That'll never happen to me, but that would be nice be nice never you guys shit your pants before yes really i actually have a story

about i used to you guys but i don't know the story yeah let's hear these when i was younger like and not like not when i was young young but yeah uh too old to be shitting your pants uh-huh i used to wear whitey tighties sure how old i was like 12 13 yeah i wore white tighties until sixth grade then you find out they're not cool and you're like fuck oh you got made fun of in gym right yeah so the reason i said because i went to a uh i would say like a 95 black middle school and uh for gym it was the first time you had to change like went middle school in the locker room so we're changing and i had whitey tighties and this oh i hated it this so this black kid uh he was always a bully to me like all three years and uh yeah he just he would make fun of me because i had whitey tighties

and literally everyone because some black kids are wearing boxers right day yeah jim shorts on his jeans yeah yeah exactly i'm not lying i don't get it that was always a bold move yeah like that must be uncomfortable right and then so it seems like too much so he would always make fun of me and the best part of us he thought i was asian he thought it was chinese and he'd be like look at this chinese kid wearing tighty whiteys yep and then uh ever since i was just picturing a little umar like yeah where is he Look at this Chinese kid wearing tighty-whities. Yep. And then. I was just picturing a little Umar like, yeah, where is he? Show me this Chinese fella.

I'm like, show me. I'm sitting with my hands in my hips. Where is he? And I'm chubby as shit. That was the worst part, being fat and also wearing whitey-titeys. It was not a good look. Yeah, I had like a super bold cut. So that's probably why. Oh, bold cut? Bold, yeah. Oh, I thought you were like, I had a bold cut. Yeah. Bold, I had like a super bold cut, so that's probably why I.

Oh, bold cut? Bold, yeah. Oh, I thought you were like, I had a bold cut. Yeah.

That's nice. It was very bold for the time. I gelled it back. Oh, God, I hated. But anyway, so when I was like,

yeah, 12, 13, I would just, I wouldn't poop. I would just like, I don't have to poop. So I'd prairie dog it,

I guess. Oh, like all day? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Why? Because I just dog it, I guess. Oh, like all day? Yeah. Really? Why? Because it felt like such an interruption to your life. Really? Probably why I have issues now.

Yeah. No wonder you're all knotted up. You're like, you know, I think it's just stress. Stress. Oh, Jay. Oh, look at that Chinese kid that has to take a shit. You're like, no, I don't. I don't have to take a shit.

But yeah, so I'd look at my underwear and it just had shit in it all the time. So I'd be like, oh my God. Jesus Christ. All the time? Dude, like every time I go to elementary school, I'd be like, oh my God. Your mom didn't intervene? Well, eventually she was like, wear all your underwear. You were hiding?

So yeah, this is where the story gets weird. Now it gets weird crazy rory scoville yeah right yeah so i had shit stamps in all of my underwear yeah now it's gonna get weird it's gonna get weird because i used to i knew it was the wrong thing to do so i used to roll them up and hide them in an old lego box and then put it under my bed and one time my mom would do like a yearly clean your room must have smelled so bad it didn't because i'd put like baby powder all over the place i was real smart about it and then my mom found a tortured kid yeah oh freaked out yeah hide shitty underwear under

my right that has like baby powder on it that's so funny are you a serial killer what's going on yeah that was weird that That was a weird. So did you have to come clean? You're like, I just hold my shit up. And like I had to have an intervention with my mom and dad. For real? Yes. What?

They're like, what's wrong? Why? Yeah. Like, what did they say? They're like, just shit. Yeah. They were like, they were like, you have to go poop. They told my teacher about it. Yeah, dude. like, if you have to go poop, they told my teacher about it. Yeah, dude.

Real traumatizing. Our little Evan has to make a number two. Oh, my God. She was like, if you have to. No, and you're like, all right, Ev, give this to your teacher. I was like, if you have to. He's like, if you have to poop, go poop. My mom had to show me how to wipe again because she thought I didn't know how to wipe.

Whoa. How old were you? I was in elementary school. Oh my gosh. Oh yeah. Real fun times. Easily 15. All covered in

baby powder. They were in this Lego box. This old Lego box. One day she was like, do you want to play Lego? She was like, no! Just run away run away i would never said that on stage oh my god because it's too close to home oh my god stoop stories does like a bathrooms one i'm gonna tell them to book you oh my god the worst part is that's how i learned how to wipe. Like, wiping is really different for everybody. Wiping is tough, dude.

Like, I wipe this way. Really? Like a chick, kind of. Yes. Interesting. Why? Like, people stand up and shit. I don't stand up.

I stand. Oh, my God. That seems insane. I stand. I don't know. It just feels more comfortable that way. Yeah. Dude.

Yeah, I remember learning that people don't stand. And I was like, that's weird. That's weird. One of my buddies did this motion. Uh. Yeah. I remember learning that people don't stand. And I was like, that's weird. That is weird. I remember one of my buddies did this motion. Uh-huh. And I was like, why do you keep doing that when we're talking about wiping? Right. That's how I wipe my ass.

I'm like, what? And I thought he was the weirdest guy ever. I got like a group of people. I was like, guys, guys, guess what he does. And a lot of people were like, I do that too. I'm like, oh. And then I found out I was the outlier. I'm like, uh-uh.

I used to go between. Oh, yeah? Yeah. So you go around. I'm like, oh. And then I found out I was the outlier. I'm like, uh-uh. I used to go between. Oh, yeah? Yeah. So you go around. I go behind, yeah. I feel like my ass is too big to do that. Maybe. I'm flexible.

You guys looking at that toilet paper? I have to wipe her. Yeah. But like behind? Interesting. Dude, we have to put a disclaimer on this podcast. That it's the worst. Don't listen if you're eating.

If you don't like sexist humor, maybe don't listen. I think we have a new poll, too. Do you stand up to wipe? Oh, that's a good one. Let us know. Bathroom polls. Let us know. Yeah, I talked about it on this podcast before, but I shit my pants coming back from D.C.

one night. Oh, my God. Was this recent? No. It was like a year yeah like two years ago but you were still adult yes yeah and uh well so i didn't like fully like unload but i sharted and it was terrible it was really bad i was sick too like oh no i was uh i was gonna do a gig and then i was leaving and i was like just outside of dc and i was like holy shit i have to throw up right now and like i pulled over and threw up and then I was leaving and I was like just outside of D.C. And I was like, holy shit, I have to throw up right now.

And like I pulled over and threw up and I was like, OK, I actually feel better. I don't know what the fuck that was. And then I got to the venue and I was like, oh, I cannot do this. I threw up again. And then I was leaving and then I was driving back and I was still throwing up like in the car. Like I was throwing up in like my Tupperware from work that day. And it was like and I was driving through like a cool part of D.C. where there are like a bunch of clubs through like a cool part of dc where

they're like a bunch of clubs and like people were like in the streets and i'm like like crying but like snot you know like when you throw up like everything just leaks out like you could go ahead i don't want i don't want to block the box good i had to get it oh my god and then i'm driving home and i'd like feel a fart coming on i'm like oh man that'll relieve some tension thank god and I was like oh no and my butthole betrayed me so is it a lot it wasn't a lot but it was like oh you have to sit in it yeah yeah and there's like vomit in the car yeah how worried were you about your car seat that not at all I was worried about your old car at the time yeah yeah yeah oh that was the i was an old man car so i guess i can shit on your seat no don't mind the smell i've tried

that once and now that poop won't go away yeah my butthole betrayed me we had we had a good run though when i worked with adults with autism two summers ago uh i think i know this story so bad for everyone involved in this story it's pretty cute so you know like autism is a spectrum like some of the adults are very high functioning it's not a spectrum anymore really i thought they changed that i don't know uh there's no such thing as asperger's anymore it's either low functioning you're just called high functioning if you're asperger's a lot of people with asperger's were upset about it because like so much of your identity can be like wrapped up in whatever but anyway who gives a shit uh yeah so i work with adults with autism and uh there wasn't enough room like you know for in like

they just had a small bus so employees would have to transport the some of the adults and uh this one kid who is the is a brother of someone who works there, he's pretty low functioning. Like he doesn't speak at all, really. And so, you know, you can't communicate your needs. Damn. He can go to the bathroom when he's, you know, like not in a car, but he can't just be like, hey, I have to go to the bathroom. Right, right, right. Can you pull over dude like shit his pants in this kid's car and this he's like a guy who

cares a lot about his car right and they didn't realize it at the time they didn't realize it and he's just like this guy like farting all the time or something and then when he got up there's just like this huge stain in his car and it smells horrible and but then you can tell that the adult with autism was like embarrassed and it was just like he had like shit all over his pants like it was bad man yeah there was no funny part to that wow bad shit well yeah yeah you got to make fun of yourself about you got to make fun of yourself when you're talking about shitting you know you can't talk about no. It's like, and sure enough, he killed himself later that day. I mean, I just shit myself one time.

Oh, and got on my parents' couch, too. Oh, my. You shit on the couch? I was like, and this was when I was like in my 20s. I lived at home until I was like 24. Your dad's like, look at this Chinese bitch shitting on the couch in whitey tighties. Well, I just thought I was was sick and i thought i had to fart yeah oh boy it was a fart of poop yeah it was a shard yeah it was that's a weird feeling

clean the couch like it was terrible it was just a little bit out okay yeah and they don't know how to listen to podcasts just flip that cushion no because it's not one of those kind of couches it's all like floral and shit god see i didn't grow up with a brother so like if they came home i'd be like it was a really good day i'll shit on the couch so i gotta go back yeah oh i remember that shit i remember like i remember like being scared my dad would come home just like okay everyone chill yeah you know what i mean like it's just so interesting my mom didn't work yeah and oh that was miserable. I'd be like, okay, great. She's always home.

Then you're home with her. You're like, god damn it. Then she had a small job for a little bit. The amount of three-layered nachos I'd make and just knocking out jerk sashes. It's amazing. Then I'd see your car and I was like, fuck, I forgot to take the meat out.

Evan's fucking meat shit take the pork chops out oh shit shit wow what a childhood no my parents both i was a latchkey kid you know where like it just means you your parents give you a key so because no one's gonna be home when they get when you get home from school yeah and my mommy said i think i said this leave mcdonald there was home from school. Yeah. And my mom used to, I think I said this, leave McDonald's. There was a year in my life where my mom left us McDonald's every day after school. Good God. A Big Mac, fries, soda. Wow. Yeah.

My parents didn't give a shit what I ate. I remember going to my friend's house and they would have to ask permission to get gushers and all that snacks. Yeah. I remember going to a friend's house. I would just walk into my kitchen and we would just get whatever the fuck we was my parents like they didn't grow up like with like understanding of they didn't have like these sugary like weird processed foods in their country yeah yeah i remember a friend having caffeine-free pepsi i'm like what the fuck is the point yeah yeah yeah

or like i remember i would hear my friend's parents be like, okay, only one soda. I'm like, this fucking love tight bitch over here. And she's like, excuse me? She's like, no, they just can't. My mom was very like hippie. Like she was organic before that became a thing. Oh, so like lots of granola and natural snacks. Like rye bread. I'd come to school with like pretzel bags.

And I was like like guys want to trade For your gushers or your fruit roll ups They're like no get out of here weirdo But it's locally sourced The pretzels are rye Yeah my ex girlfriend Her parents are that way I didn't go to a farmer's market until after college

Yeah I don't think I did either And so I would be like Man is this so like weird how like this fad that just kicked in like like farmers aren't you like umar you fucking idiot like people have been doing this forever like i grew up going i was like oh okay and then okay but also like yeah she would have this weird fruit snacks that like aren't actually fruit roll-ups and then none of your friends when they'd come over like them oh yeah and then uh she had she was

she was og like the peanut butter you have to mix that was like a post-college thing for oh yeah i didn't know people did that yeah also like why wouldn't you just buy it mixed already what are you doing wasting your time gross oil yeah that's disgusting yeah about any of that stuff i had to hide the like the good peanut butter under my bread or under my bed i had to hide the good peanut butter under my bed. I had to hide white bread and peanut butter under my bed. Next to your shit underwear. Yeah, because I found out. I was like, oh, my God, I can have marshmallow fluff. How old were you when you do that?

That was when I was like 16, 17. Oh, my God. Not the shit. The shit wasn't there. Were you fat? Yeah, I was 250 pounds. I'll tell you. I'm 5'8".

Wow. But I take on weight well. Yeah. Did you look like that in high school? No. Were you round? Do you have pictures? Oh, yeah.

I could show you. It was miserable. But then I didn't eat, lost a bunch of weight. So you had an eating disorder? Yeah, 100%. Because I was in love with this girl. And I was like, she her name was josh like like they had the hair and was skinny i was like oh fuck yes i'll just lose a bunch of weight and

then she'll finally love god isn't that amazing like that like it took that was the motivation it took for you to lose weight like not for your health no chicks obviously i think that's why everybody does everything i agree just to be attractive who don't admit it i had a girl the same girlfriend like she would just not admit she's like i work out for my health it's like yeah oh well we got a wrap-up yeah yeah just like dude shut up like fucking you give a shit so much about how you look. You talk about it. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, it's, I don't know. I think it's like the intention is to look good and a consequence of that is it also makes you feel better.

Sure. But that's not your intention of working out. That's not 100%. Yeah. Dude, if I could get laid still looking like a piece of shit. Oh, my God. And go to the gym this morning. Of course.

I'd go to pizza right now. Yeah. Also, if it was the other way, too, where it's like, I like a guy that just smells of shit. Oh my God. I'm going to go to the gym this morning. Of course. I'm going to go to pizza right now. Yeah. Also, if it was the other way too where it's like, I like a guy that just smells like shit. You think we'd all be like,

I just smell like shit on accident. Yeah. Whatever they're into, dudes are going to do it. Yeah, exactly. It's not like... Shout out to Brightside.

Making us actually live. We have jobs, clothes. You know what? Brightside. The bright side of Brightside is they make us better. That's the bright side. That's true.

That is why I do what I do. That's a good way to wrap up the podcast. On the bright side. Plugs. I mean, let's just not plug. I mean, I have shit to plug, but let's see. I mean, are you ready? Evan, you got anything to plug?

Just follow me on my Instagram. It's Evan Donahue. Or just continually type his name in it's okay yeah don't follow me you know mix it up uh i'll be a jam and java on the 17th on the 13th we're both doing uh eric's show that powerpoint show right are you doing that no i'm just pretty helping produce oh i'm not good at stuff like that you know last time i did a powerpoint show i mean you know it's not always gonna go great uh wait so you're pretty where is it it's gonna be a joe squared oh okay cool so that's uh that is this tuesday the 13th oh wait i'm talking about eric woodworth oh my god i am doing that yeah i was gonna say you're on i was talking about

ahmed's my bad no i'm doing it yeah okay w I was going to say, you're on the- I was talking about Ahmed's. My bad. No, I'm doing it. Yeah. Okay. Wits End. Yes. That's Wits End, where it's like, we just have to riff on topics they put out or something like that. Yeah.

It should be fun. And then, yeah, I'll be at Jammin' Job on the 17th. And then I'm doing a random casino with Matt Bergman on the 22nd. Dope. The Rocky Gap Casino. So that should be fun. And then some winery with Ramin on the 24th in Virginia. I have one on tonight, Frederick.

Tomorrow, Joe Squared. If this comes out tomorrow, Sunday night, there's a showcase. It's also a birthday party for my friend Ian. The 15th, I will be at joe squared again i believe the 17th i'm featuring for stav in philly hey now yeah awesome comedy comedy theater or whatever i don't know what it's called oh good comedy i think good comedy theater i think yeah who knows and then uh jenna jokes every first thursday hell yeah all right well this is a this is a fun one i like these i like these hangs follow me on the show yeah you go to sidebar instagram he already did

where the fuck were you buddy i'm so good times having motherfucker all right let's get out of here all right uh david kechner take us out Comments coming to an end. Thank you. Oh yeah, oh yeah