The Digression Sessions - Ep. 247 - Josh & Umar!

Episode Date: March 28, 2018

Hola Digheads, on this week's episode, Josh and Umar sit down with two handsome funny gentleman that are themselves! Follow the podcast and Josh Kuderna, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Laughable, Stitcher, & Spotify plz!

TAGE NETWORK That's a goddy. Okay, okay. Hey! What's up? Hey, it's a podcast, huh? Hey, hey. I'm making a stereotyper for you huh

oh oh oh boo bear oh no is that the male person notice i said person right no it might be the garbage person uh oh uh hey everybody what's going on welcome back to the Digression Sessions podcast. A little late on this one, but hey, we're doing it. Still putting episodes out. Still hot content. Yes, that's true. We did a crossover pod.

That was good. Well received, I think. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Informational. What was your buddy's name? John. John. I forgot John was there yeah

he was a good chunk of the podcast yeah yeah that was cool he uh i haven't heard from him but probably okay okay yeah what are the odds last time i saw him because he doesn't use a cell phone he was writing down directions to the airport uh so he would look it up on his computer and then write them down on a piece of paper why doesn't he use a phone i think he's like one of those dudes who like doesn't want that in his life which is cool but then it's also like well now you're a burden to us yeah yeah yeah it's like yeah because he was asking how to get to the airport and i thought i thought just because his phone was like dead or something or i don't know interesting yeah because i remember one time i i while we were emailing about him coming down, I was like, hey, man, here's my number.

Just text me. It's way easier. He's like, oh, I don't have a cell phone. Not even like a flip phone? He has a iPhone, but he doesn't pay for data, so he only can use it in Wi-Fi. Gotcha. Yeah. So he has to write to like for directions and shit

or print them out interesting interesting that was always a pain in the ass too oh yeah i'm trusting you yahoo maps or whatever yeah and then if you fuck up you just have to try to figure it out on your own yeah and some stuff was always just wrong too like yeah like head west and just because i knew where it was i knew it said you're supposed to go east. You know what I mean? So it would be, I remember leaving Kent Island, it was saying take like 50 east to go like to Annapolis or something like that. And it's like, no, it's really the opposite direction.

But like if I didn't know, I'd be like, okay. And just heading in the wrong direction forever. All the time, dude. All the time. Also, but I don't like when the gps when it's like head west on blah blah blah and like but it's not like a high it's just a i don't know what direction west is it i'm just like i'm really bad with that too i'm always low-key impressed when people are like oh yeah so we're here so north would be right here and i I'm like, yeah. Because north isn't like right or left. It's not relative, right?

It stays the same. Yeah. Yeah. Omar's on spring break. No, right or left doesn't. It's not relative. It's all relative. So if you had left, that could be north.

You know what I mean? You understand? Right. But like right or left, like north. Like right or left is from your perspective. But north is always north yes because that's why you say you're right my left yes yes but what i'm saying yeah like technically you're like well i'm walking backwards so i have to go in south like you know what i mean

yeah i'm i'm really bad at that no wait wait hold on let's break this down i'm so lost okay like on okay like the north also i forget what it is but there is a system to it as well like streets certain streets run yes like i think like the numbers run east west yeah no i'm pretty sure yeah like 36 like the avenue is east yes all number streets i think run east west and then like calvert charles all that runs north south yeah but like well i guess sometimes you can no yeah north is i don't know i don't know how this works yes yeah left and right aren't really uh direction i mean they're directions but maybe right not so much in the way east and west are yeah like the prime meridian is always start over

the prime meridian wanted to do we bring that up did i bring that up on the last podcast primary i don't think so i i forgot where i was because that's a one of the questions on an iq test is uh that people i have never gotten a kid to get this right and it's it's for like made for 16 year olds so like 90 year olds or whatever and the question is like what is the line the imaginary line that divides the globe into northern and southern hemispheres northern and southern isn't that the equator yeah yeah and which is like you learn that in fourth grade right no one answers that question oh really okay i thought you're gonna say it's actually a prime meridian. No. Prime meridian is... That's time. Yeah.

And then also goes north, south. And then also the kids always get who is MLK. Wrong. MLK Jr. They always say, oh, he's like the dude that freed the slaves. I was like, oh, my God. He put out a mixtape recently, right? Yeah.

Young MLK. I love mlk yeah i feel so bad there's this african guy who started working at my job and uh he's really cool the kids love him but they all call him mlk he's african he's just like a fucking older black guy with a mustache and glasses like oh man you're super black so you you win. Yeah. And I'm just like, guys, MLK was American. He didn't have an accent. This guy has a very thick accent. Yeah, yeah. Not an African man.

Like, nah, nah, he's MLK. I had a dream. Listen to me, okay? I have a dream. My dream is for you not to call me MLK. I'm my own man. Oh, man. Yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah, I'm headed to Chicago this week. Going to see some of Karen's fam. Going to see her grandma. Have you seen these people before? No. Well, her grandma, I don't even think Karen's seen her grandma since she's lived in Chicago. So it's been years, I think, kind of for everybody. So they're going out for Easter.

Nice. So we're going out a couple days early, going to hang, hang and bang. Going to try to do Laugh Factory while I'm out there. Nice. Eat some good food and, yeah, get up like some Michelin star rated shit, you know? Oh, you guys going to do that one crazy thing? I think. Alina, What is it?

Yeah, I think the guy that owns that, though, I think this is gonna be one of his other restaurants, though, or something like that. We're gonna go for, like, lunch or something. Nice. Yeah. So I'm looking forward to it. You know, get some deep dish pizza. I don't like deep dish. Yeah, it's where they give you a slice of New York pizza

and a deep-ass dish. Have you been to Chicago before? Yeah. Yeah. I went for the Chicago Improv Festival a few years ago. Oh, I've never been. It's cool. It's really like the L.

Their train system is like really easy to travel. Oh, nice. Yeah. So we're staying in Wicker Park, which the first time we were there, people were like, oh, we should go to wicker park and i like just thought it was a legit park okay and it's just a neighborhood oh yeah yeah sure okay yeah like how people think like federal hill well i guess there is a hill yeah but yeah the same way i'm guessing there's you know but there's also lincoln park you know so you can go there if

you're crawling is that in chicago they're from chic, right? No, no. I don't think so. Oh, no. I feel like they're a California band. No, I think they're Chicago. Really? I'm looking this up. Yeah, that's fair. Also, R.I.P., you know?

Chester Bennington? That's a weird... I'm sorry. I'm fucking... I'm having a good time. You got all over the place. I can't process. No, I think Linkin Park park is american band from agora hills

california god damn it i was gonna say i thought they're california i thought i'm for some reason i thought uh chester was canadian uh really yeah i don't know why well at actually yeah his suicide note said i'm sorry i blew all this. So I don't know. Maybe. Maybe. Oh, boy. Yeah, man. The festival. We did the Underground Comedy Festival.

Oh, yeah, the Underground Comedy Festival. Yeah, man. I'm getting over a sickness. And yeah, I'm bummed. I was supposed to do a show with Ramin, too. But yeah, I had a nice little run there. I did a casino show with Matt Bergman out in like bumfuck western maryland oh my god what county uh i'm not even sure it's like it's weird it's like past flintstone past

cumberland it was like two two and a half hours from baltimore garrett county it was out there man because there were some people from like pennsylvania too like what it was actually kind of nice so it's called the rocky gap casino yeah and uh i mean it it's like right on the water and there's like mountains and stuff and it's like oh i bet during the summer this is like really pretty but the snow is still down it was uh it was cool though got a free room nice it's so funny like what comics think is is like awesome and that's like hey make sure you tell me your comic can you get a forty dollar tab oh so you can get like forty dollars yeah that's awesome i know right it's just

like it's just so funny i just imagine normal people like what am i did forty dollars who cares like what am i i drove two and a half hours oh yeah that is true but you also got paid on top yeah exactly free room anytime you get free food I think you should get free food all the time. Mm-hmm. Like, just in real life. Just all the time. Well, yeah. When I did the Comedy Factory, one of the first nights I did it. Oh, those motherfuckers.

It went well. I was having a good night. I was like, you know, because I was kind of nervous. I was like, wow, it's all black rooms. It's going to be intense. And then it went well. And the headliner was Faison Love,

and he was really cool. And then at the end of the night i was like saying goodbye to our server because you know you get a server yeah yeah i was like all right man i'll see you i'll see you tomorrow or something like that he's like oh no hold on let me get your check and i was like oh shit i get paid already that's tight and then he's like no here's a bill for 14 i'm like what so they it was so funny like when i worked a weekend there uh i guess there's like two different menus or something and you can order off like whatever menu you want and the comedian menu is always funny it's like you can get chicken tenders or you can fuck off yeah yeah and then so uh i or and like i don't know it i was ordering from the kitchen downstairs it took forever and then so uh something or and like i don't know it i was ordering from the kitchen downstairs it took

forever and then so uh something happened like someone didn't do the bill or something and uh so i'm just like waiting like 15 minutes after the show and the guy's like you know what don't tell anyone but it's on me and i was like okay man thank you yeah i was like oh yeah but most clubs you can usually get pretty much anything you want as long as they're not like oh dude in cleveland no you can get oh yeah that's like that whole 30 dollar meals eating uh like salmon and fucking uh uh yeah like like uh i don't know what the fuck are those like little disc shaped fish called scallops scallops oh that's wild dude $30 scallops so fucking with risotto risotto what is risotto risotto is uh rice me and karen made it

once but yeah it's it's essentially like instead of i could be way wrong but what i think it is is like it's rice but instead of basically like just cooking in water you cook it in like cream and shit yeah that gets infused yeah into it oh yeah so i gotta i want to get into risotto risotto is tight we made uh we accidentally made like we got a recipe and we didn't realize it was going to be way more than it was so we made like a huge thing of risotto we had a ton left and then we took him we balled them up yeah and then put them in flour put them in egg and a little bit of flour and deep fried them so they're these deep fried risotto balls that had like shrimp and tomato on the inside.

Woo. I remember you like those videos on Facebook now that like it's called tasty and they just cook stuff and it's just like the most garbage stuff. Like, okay, go buy frozen, um, like a barbecue chicken.

Yeah. Get unroll some bacon. Yeah. Sprinkle some Skittles on the bacon. Put the barbecue chicken in there, roll it up, bread it, and fry it. Now shoot it out of a gun, and it's delicious. Who the fuck is making this food? And then all the comments are always people just fighting over how unhealthy it is,

and how you can just make your own from scratch. But also those videos, they always just make cooking look so easy, just so like but also those videos they always just make cooking look so easy because it's just like hands dumping shit and they speed it up too yeah yeah and it's like dude most of the work is measuring stuff out like i that's the worst part of cooking is like you have to measure out everything yeah i i usually just wing it though on most things yeah like the blue apron shit is really annoying because they're like make sure it's this if it's yeah two teaspoons of water no but that's my anal like i'm so ocd about that like if i see it you have to be even cooking if i follow a recipe i'm like i have to do

this or really my shit is like they're like one clove of garlic i'm like let's make it four oh yeah garlic you can i don't know but then i get scared i'll make some stuff and it's like with soy sauce i'm like i don't know soy sauce you can go a little too far i think salt there's no turning back it's you know i mean you can fuck you less you know and then add it later guys for all you foodies out there yeah um oh yeah so uh yeah actually it's funny you said i i got a salmon at the uh casino it was very nice. Mashed potatoes and vegetables. Mashed potatoes, dude. I fucking... Were they fresh? They were like...

Nah. I mean, you could tell they were from a bag, but they were good. Yeah, I feel like restaurants, and this reminds me of something I had this conversation with a girl recently, but restaurants... Brag. They should... Yeah, talk to girls, dude. Whoa! I'm not like Jimmy over on uh it's a podcast talking to 20

year olds it's a podcast what's it called live from the studio their logo looks like it just says it's a podcast it's a podcast hey it's the lts oh fuck the whole time i'm like, it's a podcast? Okay. That's the full title. It's a podcast? All right. I guess. Yeah, I think I get so mad when I go to a restaurant and you order fries and it's fucking you can just tell they're frozen fries. I like a nice fresh cut fry. Because if I'm going to eat shitty, I want to eat good shitty.

I feel like most fries are frozen, though. Nah, Golden West has fresh fries. Really? Rocket does. Yeah. What does that mean, fresh? shitty yeah i want to eat good shitty i feel like most fries are frozen though nah golden west has fresh fries really rocket does yeah what does that mean fresh like they that they they cut them there and maybe froze them later oh okay but they're cutting up the potatoes yeah but like you don't talk about those like we like those like uh fries that are just like long and thick that like you knew came out of a fucking plastic bag from the grocery store fry yeah or like yeah i are just like long and thick that like you knew came out of a fucking plastic bag from the grocery store fry yeah or like yeah i'm just like oh dude come on some aren't bad though like you know like there's like mcdonald's fries definitely frozen those are fine like really i

don't think mcdonald's fries are good really they're fine compared to like a regular fry sure i guess i'm talking about like the fast food realm no no i'm talking about like when you go to a like a lot of crab cake places do this because like they're known for their crab cakes and everything else is like everything else like i remember they're like yeah it comes like three sides i'm like holy shit so they're like beets i was like oh yeah i want beets uh-huh mashed potatoes yes uh-huh horn yes oh yeah And then the beets are straight out of a can, sliced like medallion style. They still have the shape of the can on them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see the ridges. I'm like, dude, I just paid $35 for this fucking meal. And then the corn is so obviously from a can. And the mashed potatoes are like the flakes that you put in boiling water. Right, right, right, right. Oh, that is some fucking...

But the crab cakes gotta be good, though. The crab cakes are amazing. This is GM. Have you been out in the county? No, I went to the... Me and my dad went to that place you told us about. Coco's was incredible. The fucking crab cake was like the softball.

It's a softball. It's amazing. Yo, maybe that's what i'll do for lunch after this yeah that's a solid move yes you're gonna go to coco's alone uh probably i don't know man it's fucking great i'm just like chilling yeah i'm on spring break those are the best type of days where it's just like i'm gonna wake up now i'm gonna eat oh yeah i woke up i made uh my parents gave me some lamb yesterday. So I made a... I heated that up. I made some eggs and fried up some veggies and made a nice breakfast.

I ate that in bed. I was watching Wild Wild Country. There you go. About the cult and then... Yeah. I'm going to dig into that on the plane. I was saving that. It's unbelievable that we've never heard about this before.

Oh, really? The whole story, you mean? Yeah. Dude, it's bananas. Yeah. It gets so crazy to the point where you're just like, how the fuck is this real? Yeah. I just watched the series on Waco that was on...

What happened there? Ooh. Really? No. Nothing. It was pretty cool uh but seeing just how badly that was fucked up and like yeah what goes on with like cults i mean technically yeah so this happened after that which is even crazier yeah and uh because they killed a politician right

who in waco no waco's jim jones no waco is uh the branch davidians i don't maybe i don't know i know there's something with david koresh no that's not jonestown that's a different thing this is waco texas was there like a massacre there too though yeah there was yes but they were killed so basically like they had their own kind of compound in, like, the super tiny town of Waco. Sort of, like, on the outskirts of it. Yeah. And there was this dude that said he was Jesus, basically, the second coming of Jesus. And surprise, surprise, God told him that he's the only one that can have sex.

Adam Crowley used to say that all the time. Like, a cult is just a dude who wants to fuck kids yeah yeah so yeah it wasn't really like kids but yeah but it was so but people were there that went with their like husband or you know went with their wife just some cult leader cucking you and he's just like yeah i got the word on high. I got to fuck Denise. So like, but he seems like a pretty, like he definitely seems nuts, but more sympathetic than you would think. But like everybody agreed to it.

He wasn't forcing anybody to do anything. But so technically, I guess like having more than one wife, because I think he was married to them too, is illegal. But they rated that place saying that it was like full of guns and they were like a militia but really they were just selling guns and gun shows to make money to like yeah like compound and stuff like that and then eventually the fbi just like torched the place they say they didn't they said like a fire was started somehow on on the inside but like killed yeah a lot of people including like kids like babies and just because they didn't want them to so there was like a standoff um for i

think it was like 70 days because this was right after ruby ridge and so ruby ridge they also killed uh killed innocent people too so it was a guy that was living in the woods anyway it's a whole it's not it's conspiracy guy like the government killed him then the government killed the babies black helicopters um but anyway so they were like all right we gotta we need a win let's crack down on this cult but really weren't really doing anything to anybody and like they're actually friendly with local law enforcement and so after finally after like 70 days they're like we look weak we got to go in there and get these guys out and so they threw in tear gas but so there was just confusion then they couldn't get out and they were stuck and then the tear gas itself like caused a fire

in the house and then there was smoke everywhere and then they all died all of literally everyone died all of them but i think uh like 50 to i think there were like let's just say there were 100 people there because i think it was like 70 but like 50 people died yeah so apparently with like the jim jones thing uh they killed some politician and that's what led to the mass oh these people weren't doing anything to anybody wow Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah. Yeah. And it wasn't even like, yeah, like they were nuts and they're like, hey, this guy's Jesus.

And we listened to him, but they weren't like abusing kids or anything. Yeah. But that politician who was killed by the Jim Jones people, his daughter, they talk about in the documentary, is in this cult that this documentary is about. Isn't it? And they interviewed like, what would your father think? She's like, well, actually, this is totally different. This is in this cult that this documentary is about isn't it and they're like they interview like what would your father think she's like well actually this is totally different this is not a call and i think you'd be very supportive i'm like okay sure super supportive yeah yeah i just think like how weak-minded are you yeah like dude like 10 000 people went to

india follow this dude to india and then they came over here but like and adults 10 000 yeah dude they made a city whoa it's unbelievable what they thousand unbelievable what they did and then they wake up it's like a hundred people then they rounded up homeless people from all around the country and brought them over and then everybody just so they can okay let's just so they can have enough votes to like take over the whole city. Rounding up homeless people? Yeah. Unbelievable, dude. That's so funny because the cities are probably like, all right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let's hear the call to action. Yeah. Do you want our garbage too? Yeah. DC's like, I don't know. Pretty good. Oh, yeah.

Okay. All right. All right. Yeah. But I was just thinking, also, it just looks boring. You're in this desert essentially and you just see the same people like you can't go to the movies and shit and they all have to wear the same color it's bizarre that's creepy it's so weird yeah but like families like people like

families got up and went yeah same with the waco thing like all right we're gonna bring our kids and like they're on a compound where they were yeah like i think it's weird when my mom and dad like want to go like on vacation to like a lake for like a weekend i'm like why would we do that together yeah for how long yeah my parents canceled a whole vacation because they were like hey we booked the thing at a deep deep creek lake and me and my brother were like yeah we can't go yeah that's just you guys in a cabin with your own free yeah what is this a cult yeah like fuck this no umar bring all the homeless people with us we're making a city i cook for them yeah uh speaking of the gnarly people but yeah so the casino gig the much older crowd and uh oh i imagine so yeah especially thursday night in like

middle of nowhere, Maryland. But they were cool. But yeah, you could definitely tell it's like older, kind of more conservative crowd. Yeah. Before the show, me and Matt Bergman were in the back and this big dude comes up and backwards hat on and he's just large and he's like,

y'all the comedians? I'm like, yep. He's like, y'all make fun of the crowd i was like not really like not intentionally he's like oh man come on my name's pork chop and i got mama pork chop with me too and i might talk to you pork chop but he had a shirt on that said um fuck it said something like Irish Democrat Club or something like that. Oh, cool. He's a progressive.

And I was like, oh, okay, yeah, kind of like blue collary, kind of like I'm a redneck, but also I got values or whatever. And so I was talking to him after the show, and I was like, oh, because he sat right up front, and I was like, oh, thanks for coming to the show, Pork Chop. And I was asking about his shirt. I was like, oh, thanks for coming to the show, Pork Chop. And I was asking about his shirt. I was like, oh, it says Democrat, right? He's like, oh, yeah.

And then he like turns around and shows me the back of the shirt. And it's one of those like Blue Lives Matter flags. And then he's also wearing a hat that has a Confederate flag on it. And I'm like, oh, okay. Now I'm confused because you got a whole mix. Did you ask him? Yeah. I go, oh oh i was like so

what is the what is the democrat mean is that like and he is like oh well and i was like no is that like you know like the democratic party goes oh no no no man no no that's just the name of the bar the democrat that's the name of the bar something it's like irish democrat club or something like that or like the national something but yeah you had the confederate flag and i was like oh i was just confused because i saw the flag on your on your hat and he goes uh he goes oh i got the other flag too and he pulls up his sleeve to show me his arm he has a tattoo of like a huge american flag and then like a deer in front of it and then in cursive underneath it says dad he's like yeah i got this from my dad last year he died and i was trying to make a joke i was like oh man what was your dad like a 10 point

or something because you know they have like 10 bucks or whatever he's like yeah he died last year just kind of like ignored it and i was like all right well i made over my head here oh my god like oh you're a democrat he's like no no i got the stars and bars i got the blue lives matter that's funny i uh i i went to see Todd Berry in Baltimore this past Sunday. And he was talking. It was his crowd work tour. And it was great. It was awesome.

Nice. And he was talking to this girl. He was like, what do you do? Blah, blah, blah. Why are you here? And something came up. He was like, do you have any good story? I feel like it was a little lazy because he would just be like,

he only asked two questions. And I wish he asked different questions, but he'd just be like, so what's your name? What do you do? Do you got any good stories? That's it. Damn, really making them do the work. Yeah, I was just like, what the fuck?

Some people did have cool stories because of their jobs. But that's real lazy crowd work for a crowd work oh yeah so lazy and you got any good anecdotes yeah you're like do you do you just want to tell a cool story and then i'll react to it do you have anything i can make fun of yeah and then so the girl said uh the woman was like oh well you well, my friend died today and this morning. And we were all just like, oh. And he played it off really well. And he was like, oh, okay. Well, let's.

Yeah. He's like, didn't expect that answer. Yeah. At the casino show, Matt does a bit about being a substitute teacher. And then he asked if there were any teachers in the crowd. And he was talking to this woman. And it was going well. It was really funny. really funny he was like well what's the worst thing like anybody's ever called you and the woman next to her she goes call they called her a cunt and he

was like all right i asked her it seems like you might be if your friend's like she's a cunt so they're having like a good back and forth and then this weirdo up front she goes like i knew a school shooter and he's like oh okay so he had to get into that and then it was just like she was just kind of rambling about she knew a woman that was uh a teacher of somebody that got caught or like brought a gun to school like nothing happened and he's like all right but he got out i forget what he said but like basically got out of it and and then after the show she was talking to us and it's one of those things where somebody just can't pick up on the social oh that you don't want

to keep talking yeah you know like after a show like sometimes there's just nowhere to go where it's like do you really teach do you really live in baltimore you're like yeah yeah where do you live oh i live here all right well nice talking to you know there's just like a flow and like all right with her most people are cool. Most normal people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like great job. We had a lot of fun.

You know, thanks. Uh, you're the best. You're the funniest. I'm like, okay, cool.

Yeah. No. Um, so she was, uh, just, there were many, like three times where it was like,

and we're out of here. She like just kept coming back. And so, so on like the fourth of like, right we're still here she asked matt she's like so where do you do you actually live in dc's like oh i live just outside of it she goes oh me too i live in centerville or something i think it was yeah and he goes oh yeah it's a nice area and she goes yeah and that could have been like yeah thanks she just goes yeah asians are taking over though and why why why asians are taking over you know we're like okay goodbye you're like good for them okay see ya yeah also she was like

yeah she was just gnarly and crazy i just love she's like asians are destroying this and like i'm doubt you do much for your town. Yeah. I saw Todd Berry. He handles it pretty well. Like people come over and he'll just like, he'll be like, what's your name? Okay. And he'll sign the poster and it's like, thank you.

And he'll just like look down. I'm like, okay, that's cool. Bergman was saying, because he tours with John Heffron sometimes. And he's like, yeah, Heffron has no tact with that stuff. He should not be talking to people after shows. Because he'll be talking and be like, oh man, thanks so much for coming. And they're like, oh yeah, no problem.

We actually came out a year ago and we saw you in Orlando. So they'll be talking in the middle. He's like, alright guys, thanks. I gotta go bike. Yeah, people are, I don't know. People get weird about that stuff. I think they're having fun most of the time.

But it was like, oh, yeah, you are exactly what I feared would be in a casino in Western Maryland. But there has to be that sense of awareness where they're like, yo, there's a whole line behind you. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. But then we went to the actual casino later that night. And that was pretty funny. Like, you the comedian? Yeah. you the comedian like all right uh they're yeah they're they're pretty nice i did

uh i opened up for uh nick mullen last weekend yeah in philly it was so fun but it was like i was so nervous because it was a saint patty's day saturday night in philly with free beer oh oh yeah and they got free beer kastav had to cancel he was supposed to headline right and then so nick filled in yeah it was three shows and i was really nervous because i was like oh man what is this crowd gonna be like but they're really cool they were like just like they all look like normal comedy nerds right but there were a couple like weirdo like fans oh yeah yeah i think like one guy guy, and then I saw on the Philly subreddit, there was like a thread where they're talking about how there was like an Antifa.

What is that thing called? Antifa, yeah. Antifa plant in the audience. Because I did notice during the late show that this guy just would keep yelling like everything I would say. He's like, woo, yeah, Newport. And I'm just like like what's and then i was like i'm not gonna address it i'm just gonna steamroll there was a third show it was a let dude the last show didn't start until it's a small black box and then also yeah it's a small black box theater and it only it holds 90 people

but for some reason they are so slow at checking people in yeah so the last show was supposed to start at 11 30 we didn't start until like 12 i think yeah it's always weird when you're like oh i showed up yesterday for this show yeah it's just uh it was a bummer but uh so people were shitting on that for it but yeah it turned out uh really cool but there were two chicks and if you don't you know people who listen to this don't know like nick mullen and stop and this guy adam feeling they do a podcast called Come Town. Yeah. It's very offensive, but it's very funny. Mm-hmm.

And so I was watching the first show in the back of the room, and clearly just two women with their boyfriends, not into the show at all. And, like, every topic got worse and worse. Because he started out by talking about like i don't know like uh like uh he's like man yeah it's a bummer you know we can't do rape jokes anymore and then i literally the girl just like not quiet at all was just like oh that must suck for you so much yeah and then uh but he did a very funny clever joke you know like he's setting it up yeah and then he started and then he was like yeah and you know the whole me too thing like i just think me

too is like a stupid name uh-huh and the girl was just like she turned to her boyfriend when he said that it's like oh this is your idea of fun yeah you want it you want it to come to this yeah it's just like god dude like but also like what is if this idiot doesn't know that his girlfriend would not be into something like that? Yeah. I can see my Karen saying that, especially if she's like, I don't want to be here. And then somebody's like, what's it do with rape jokes? Like, okay, what are we doing? Yeah.

That's probably not the best avenue for you. He had such a, I won't do his bit but he he did this bit i think like even this bit got like groans from everybody also dude come down audience just as uptight as a regular audience really it's like i would say something and they'd be like and i was like dude you guys left it like the n-word and retard jokes fuck you and then that got like a big laugh yeah yeah yeah it's like you should know what's going on yeah it was just so funny yeah yeah it's like and i'm yeah for you too like you're the lightest version of that too yeah and i even told nick because i

was like ah i feel like they're gonna hate me like i think i'm like a pussy hipster but yeah yeah but it was fun it was cool nice yeah i had my my two philly fans shout out to them they came out there you go actually coming to the judah show at uh joe squared yeah you know this is how it starts i gotta write new jokes nah i've been having trouble no do this thing that i've been doing you just look at the crowd and you go you got any interesting stories yeah i know i would just do crowd work but but Judah's doing crowd work, which sucks. But it would be funny. Look at the crowd.

Like you guys written anything lately? You guys got any premises? Anything new? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. So I did. Yeah. So the casino is like super far away.

And then, yeah, we stayed up gambling. It was nice. I got like a free 50 bucks to play with. Oh, so there's like a random thing like when you sign up and then they're like, oh, since you're a new valued customer, you can like do this little screen. And there was like nine random blocks. Whenever when you push, you get free money.

So I got 50 bucks and I'm such a cheap ass. I was like, I'll just cash out and get 50 bucks right now. You did that? You can't. You have to play with it. So I was going to say. Yeah. Like there's obviously a hook to it right like

they're not just gonna be like sure and i'll see you later so i got the 50 bucks and then like flipped that into 35 oh that's cool so then from there it was like oh like now we can play slots and then like drinks were paid for and shit yeah i was like oh that's cool free night got paid and then yeah then it's just like a crazy drive so So I had to drive back to Baltimore after that. And then I was in D.C. later that night. I had to get my hair cut. So I was like driving all over the fucking place. And then the show in D.C. was awesome with Dulce Sloan.

Yeah. And Samantha Ruddy. Yeah. And it was great. It was really cool, man. But I was so tired at the end, too. I was like, whew, definitely ready to go home. And then the next morning i threw up and i was like sick as shit and i was like god damn it yeah yeah but yeah i'm finally getting better but but uh yeah man it was

a nice nice little run there so it was good yeah the comedy festival was good i my show was all right i feel like uh oh man this guy jack knight the right he's a writer from big mouth is on the show yeah and uh and i guess like he just didn't like the crowd and he didn't think, like. This is a big hunt. Yeah. Yeah, which is, like, so uptight. It's just always. Yeah, it's so fucking annoying.

It's always that way. He got mad and he burned his set. Really? Yeah, at the end. Because you saw him about, like, the protests and stuff. And he's, like, yeah, you know, you're wearing're wearing like pink hats and and like uh i don't know like like all the different things people wear to like for each different like protest right like he's like instead of like having to accessorize why don't you just like go just go kill rich white people and solve all

your product like that you just get it done out of the way with one swipe right and then like and he was just keep going he's like getting a treat get like a rifle yeah just like when they're eating dinner just boom put a bullet right through the fucking rich white guy's head in front of his kids jesus and uh that's how he got off stage thank you good night yeah but he's so funny dude yeah he was cool as shit yeah yeah man uh yeah my show uh yeah i didn't i didn't know her dulce sloan she like writes for us on the daily show yeah yeah she was cool she funny yeah nice yeah i feel like you know yeah yeah she was funny yeah yeah yeah was it was this packed it was man um at first we thought they're only gonna be like i don't know like right before the show they're maybe like 10 people there but then like as my set started and by the time i was done there's probably like 60 70 people that's cool

cool filled in really nice and they were good especially for like seven o'clock on a friday yeah if that early show's the worst friday early shows are the worst yep yeah every crowd is uptight right but then they weren't uptight they were cool okay they were great it was just uh just a matter of i think getting there like seven like you get off work they want to get home yeah that's a hard time to make seven is tough 7 30 is a little easier but yeah the nine o'clock show that ahmed hosted i think that was like sold out and then some so nice yeah oh dude on monday while we're talking about shows i did uh i did speechless with dylan and we were supposed to do it for the dave and busters in springfield virginia uh-huh at the draft house is supposed to be like like an employee

like party or something like that and they're like yeah there's gonna be like i don't know maybe like 50 60 people so like all the employees i guess yeah dude six people showed up oh so we had to do speechless which is like improvised powerpoints and like they were all supposed to be the contestants you know and they still were but it was and it ended up being fun because like essentially everybody there had to do it yeah but yeah it was like a little bit of a shit show people are like drinking yeah yeah also like what kind of people show up for dave and busters well they already work at a dave and buster i know and then they're like this will be fun let's draw like how close is the nearest dave and busters to the dc draft house i think that one i think the Springfield one is

they said 20 minutes. Okay, that's not bad. So it might be more. 20 minutes to a half hour but still you're talking like. You're driving a half an hour. Talking an hour total. For a work party. Round trip, yeah. At like. Yeah. So weird. On a Monday night. On a Monday people are, dude, that's, yeah.

Why would people, anyone think anyone would go to that? Exactly, yeah. I don't go to work happy hours that are literally in our neighborhood. Yeah. And those are like 3 p.m. too. Yeah, yeah. Like my work did a happy hour at our house and Karen lives around the corner from there. So I was like, hey, let's go there.

And then we showed up and I was like, immediately, I was like, oh, fuck. And we just didn't even sit with them. I was like, what am I doing? Oh oh you didn't sit with them oh weird dynamic there i said hi and there's just like karen well okay so like if you have your girlfriend with you i guess you'd be like yeah i mean it's not as bad like as bringing your girlfriend to a comedy show like this weekend no no no but i mean like that's your that's what i'm saying like she's not gonna be able to talk to them about anything. Right.

But it's also the way you get out of it without being like... Oh, right. You don't have to communicate. I don't want to hang out with you. Like, I would, but I got my girl with me. Yeah, I think most people still felt that I did. Like, whatever. But Karen...

Old Omar thinking he's better than everybody. Yeah. Karen, she came to Big Hunt with me and she... Like, going to comedy shows you know we talked about it when they were on the podcast like it's a bummer yeah it's like you can't really talk and also like it's a festival so i want to hang out and talk to comics that i don't know um and get loose so i yeah i was like you know like i it's gonna be boring yeah and then so earlier in the week i was like you, you know, you probably shouldn't come.

Yeah. And then I guess like it was one of our few opportunities to see each other. So I was like, you know, if you want, like, I don't know. Because she asked me, like, well, I don't know. You said it wouldn't be fun. But anyway, she ended up coming. Yeah. And then we were leaving.

And well, it was funny because I was like, you know, people like I don't know, people like she was like, I like watching you. But like, I just feel like, you know, like comedians like don't know people like she was like i like watching you but like i just feel like you know like comedians like don't ever really like talk to me and i'm like i know it's not you she's like oh i know it's not me like i've i've learned that uh right level of autism is high in comedy yeah and then yeah so we went and like yeah you know like no one talked to her and even like the like we sat at the comics table in between the first and second show. And like, it was just, she could, we were all just talking about comedy.

Yeah. And so we got in the car and she's like, yeah, I can't, babe, I can't do that ever again. I was like, no, totally fair. Yeah. And it's not like a matter of disrespect to her. It's just, people are just in their own head. Yeah. It's kind of just like if you're at someone, if you just hang out with people who all work

together, they're going to talk about work. Talk about talk about work yeah so i felt bad for her but yeah yeah my karen she's like no i'm good i'll see you later unless it's like you know like a big one so yeah but like gin and jokes is fun for karen because it's baltimore and her friends are there right right right right but yeah if you're driving down to dc essentially just to be like okay hurry up and be done yeah literally we drove down for her to sit at the bar alone but dude she got hella drinks and the bartender met only charge her three dollars jesus christ for cocktails nice it was crazy nice i think she was just like i'm so sorry also when i came downstairs the bartender is really nice, Teresa. Yeah.

She's like, oh, they're going to be like, oh, am I going to, since it's a festival, am I going to hear jokes I haven't heard yet? And she saw me walk down the stairs and they're like, yeah, and Umar's hosting. She's like, oh, well, definitely going to hear the same stuff from Umar. I was like, okay, what? Charge my girl $3. Yeah. Yeah, man.

The festival was cool. Yeah, Saturday I was sick, so I didn't get to go to the... I mean, I would have had a show, but I didn't get to go to the Todd Berry one. God, I wish stuff like that was in Baltimore. Well, we were talking about it. I mean, I think, not doing a festival, but I think Joe Squared and Gin and Jokes is the future of Baltimore, dude. Yeah, we'll see. I think it would be nice to do.

Big Hunt North, man. It would be cool to do a weekend of shows like that. Yeah. Yeah, at Joe Squared, at Wind Up maybe, and then there's motor house right there yeah and then uh and then i think the big show do like a big show at the parkway oh interesting yeah interesting i think that'd be a cool weekend interesting yeah yeah in the main theater of the parkway yeah i think like it would be hard to because that's like what, what? 1,200, 800 seats? I don't know.

It's a lot. It's a lot. So it would have to be like... You'd have to have a lot of money to fill that place. Yeah. Or you need someone who can really draw. Or I'm thinking in my head, I know a couple people that I could reach out to that would maybe co-headline and fill it up. Yeah.

I was going to say, you need somebody that's a step below the Meyerhoff. Yeah. Like a Hardy and a Judah. judah yeah yeah that could be interesting yeah if it's once a month too you know like there because there had to be interest for it like you couldn't do a show there every weekend i don't think no no that would just be a festival like once a year festival okay i got you got you got you yeah i was thinking of like turning basically like trying to have joe square be like thursday through saturday have like comedy shows oh i do want to do that it's just i don't i don't i don't know how to do that yet yeah i think it'd be nice to do or at least a friday saturday uh early late show yeah even if like you know we don't need to sell out you get 50 people down there that's fucking dope for yeah if there's 50 people for a show down there it'd be great yeah yeah um

yeah the draft house was like kind of talking about pete from the draft house like oh yeah we've we've been like maybe looking at maybe like opening a spot in baltimore i'm like you could but i think the way to be successful would be to have like a 50 person black box theater or something like that like that's like dope that has drinks that's what philly does and they bring in good comics like uh like yamanika saunders is gonna be there uh joe de rosa is gonna be there good good good good comedy theater yeah it's a super fun so that's i mean yeah if you had less than 100 like less than 100 seats and then you could definitely have a market for that too yeah but theirs is

almost like a big feel where like they don't sell booze is byob which is cool you could do that yeah yeah yeah it's a hard market yeah what the hell are we talking about yeah i don't even know man but uh you're uh yeah you're doing you're doing fucking great with the uh with the joe squared man yeah i would uh i would help, whatever you need, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what I want to do yet, but I don't know. I also don't want to end up just running, being a showrunner. Yeah.

You know? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's definitely a full-time job. It's full-time. It takes away from your comedy. Yeah. So I don't want to just run a show. Yeah, like Sean Joyce in DC.

Yeah, but goddamn, that dude is. I think he's the only person in the country doing that well i mean we don't know i mean there could be somebody in like seattle but no he's he's crushing it for sure i mean it's a lot to think about so like to um on friday to like kind of put it in perspective i guess the festival is different because there's like way more going on yeah at the end of the first show at seven sean was there the whole time but he was just in the green room and then i was saying my goodbyes and i was like hey are you gonna venmo me and uh he was like hey man actually since the festival like spots aren't like paid and you know we're

kind of looking at us and i was like but i'm pretty sure you told me you would pay he's like oh my god you hosted right yes of course i'm gonna send you money me you would pay he's like oh my god you hosted right yes of course i'm gonna send you money yeah yeah yeah and he's like he saw that i went up like knew it but he's just like on to the next show you know like yeah that show went well i wasn't even thinking about it on to the next thing yeah but you kind of always have to be worried about yeah and not even like big problems but it's like hey they're out of chairs here or this isn't going on you know so you are always responsible for that thing this person's late or they think they want more money and blah blah

ticket sales so it's like a whole other job yeah i mean well that's his full-time gig it's crazy i couldn't imagine doing that i'd be so scared out of my mind like every day i'd be like fuck yeah because it's always so many moving parts too. Yeah, like when are people... Like every month I'm just like, all right, this is going to be the month. When does the bubble burst? This is going to be the month at Gin and Jokes where there's like 10 people in the audience. Yeah, I don't know, man. I think you're really far off from that.

And I think you would have to like not care about the show. Yeah. And once a month is good. That's enough time that people like want more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not saturated. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see.

I don't know what we've been doing. We've been struggling through this one. You think so? I feel like I'm struggling. I'm trying to think of things to talk about. I didn't do anything. Spring breakin', dude. Yeah, I'm just chillin'. Spring breakin'.

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I had shows and stuff. But i've just been like uh i've been kind of sick so i went to the doctor yesterday and they're like she was uh this broad i'm like first of all come on honey you're gonna doctor up a sandwich come on um but uh she was like no i think that you have like an upper respiratory infection but it's like the tail end of it so she gave me some meds which is nice but yeah it's been like kind of sick like off and on for like a week and a half so and then saturday was like vomiting oh yeah oh there's nothing worse than throwing up i mean there's worse but sure but no it was gnarly i couldn't so like i just my stomach felt weird all night and like you know you're like you're like i could

throw up but i was like i don't wanna go back to bed dude i will force myself to throw up because you'll feel i did oh me that you can feel like your body just like relaxing yeah because like oh you got that fucking poison yeah but yeah like straight up i was like i don't know how this is coming out of me so i was sitting on the toilet with the trash can in front of me and then just threw up that's so funny like like threw up so hard my like left arm was numb when i was done i was like dude i'm so loud when i puke it sucks yeah i know you threw up my throat's all scratched yeah yeah and i'm like tearing up as I'm doing it and just like. And then it was funny. They like clean up and open the bathroom door.

And then the dog little boo bear was like at the door. He's just looking up. He's like, you okay? Like Karen didn't even wake up. A boo was like, hey, what's up? What's going on? That's crazy. Trotted next to me when we went back to the room. So, yeah, man, I've just been like sick as fuck so but yeah

i'm starting to feel better which is uh which is nice but uh cool my cold water is brown for some reason at the house and i don't know it looks gross dude yeah some flint michigan shit uh disgusting yeah i went home last night to my parents for dinner and uh there was like some candy out and i was grabbing and my dad's like oh do you want like dark chocolate like he's like i got dark chocolate like and i thought he's like i was like yeah uh-huh it's like i love dark chocolate i keep evan got me on dark chocolate because it's just like a nice snack that's like sweet but not too sweet and you just munch on it better for you right yeah yeah it's not good it's not good but it's not like eating ice cream right and so and

i was like oh shit yeah i'm thinking like my dad's gonna have like some fancy ass dark chocolate he just brings out a hershey dark chocolate bar and my dad's like yeah this one's real good for you it's not that much sugar and i'm just like i'm just like god damn it like it just tastes nothing like like dark because i probably like it was like four dollar like yeah they're seesaw and almonds and shit. And I was like, Dad, I'll bring you just like, and he was like, well, where is it? I'm like, it's in giant. He's like, you know, like just look at the packaging, the fancy ass packaging.

Like, you know, like that says like they're like natural this and organic that and fair trade this. Just buy that shit. But my dad's just like, he's like, you know, I was looking at Godiva, but I don't know. And it's like that no one eats first year Godiva anymore i love that you're not six years old it's like yeah if you want more i know a guy he can eat two pieces and i put like you know whatever and my dad's like that's it and i was like yeah dad i'm i'm i'm good he's like bro i crush a whole pack yeah he's like yeah i eat like half a bar each at one time i'm like what

the fuck that's a lot of sugar you have diabetes dark chocolate isn't like and you'll hear like one thing from a like yeah doctor on the radio and he's like yeah i don't i don't eat cashews anymore and i was like why yeah he's like well i heard they're in the bean family and not all beans are good for you not all beans you're eating half a bar of dark chocolate who gives a fuck cashews are not your work yeah like when people like that smoke or like dude you know you shouldn't drink out of plastic bottles yeah oh word i remember my friend's dad like i had black socks on and he's like you know you shouldn't wear black socks they stain your feet and then i remember i was like and i looked at him i was like yeah but dude you're chewing i

literally was like you're chewing tobacco yeah like how could you talk about stains talk about like like cotton stains brown teeth god the amount of like witchcraft signs my parents like put in my brain that i didn't like that like people made fun of me later in life like i remember like uh umar i steamed some broccoli Wear it around your neck and you won't get sick. My mom told me that if you eat ants, you can die. You could. It depends on the type of ant. Like if you ate fire ants and they're stinging your throat, you could die.

Dude, if you chew a fire ant, they're going to fucking... Like these little black ants out here, you're not going to die from them. Whoa. First of all, I don't know why you bring racing. Second of all, whoa. That show, 1001 Ways to Die. Yeah. There were these kids that saw on the behind the music that Ozzy Osbourne snorted those ants or whatever when he was hanging out with. Did you ever see that on the Motley Crue behind the music?

Oh, I saw they injected like jack daniels into them or something oh yeah yeah yeah but on the behind the music they're talking about hanging out with ozzy and like trying to like one up each other and being all fucked up and so they're like snorting coke on the bus and then like the bus is all gnarly so of course there's ants on the table and he just snorted a line of ants like whoa o whoa, Ozzy's crazy. That's so gross. So these kids heard that story and like, oh, we want to do that. But they snorted fire ants? No.

And so they stung them in their nasal cavity and like their throat as it went down. And then it closed up and they died. When did that happen? Is that real? Supposedly, they're all real. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean we this world didn't need those kids if you're a fucking kid you're just like oh let's do that

i mean i snorted like fun dip powder sure but that's like look whatever that's sugar everybody did everyone who wasn't gonna do that you know the one that turned also just like you're dipping sugar into like what the fuck did my parent like parents let us eat fun dip is wild too because they're like hey uh so uh take this sugar yeah and dip it into sugar into sugar and sometimes it changes colors so that's cool and you're just like who made that snack i had so much fucking sugar as a kid it was bananas oh me too dude like pop tarts you know how bad pop tarts are for you what about the next level when you're like oh i'm an adult now i'm eating toaster strudels yeah with the icing i was such a fat oh yeah you'd have to hold it over the mic the oven because yeah or like just let it sit on top of the microwave yeah yeah so you made yours in the

microwave uh no so we had a microwave uh that also was uh like okay little oven thing that'd be so toaster oven yeah so i would get i was just talking about this with someone i would get the apple cinnamon toaster strudels put the icing on there dude you put some fucking vanilla ice ice cream on there sure and then my mom would have those like i don't know what they're like kind of like biscotti those like long like circle like straws with the chocolate in it oh you crush some of that on top dang boy what a way to start your day i know oh no that was like a dessert yeah but i used to eat that shit all the time and my parents never gave a fuck what i ate yeah i mean i had a i talk about it all the time but i had a mini fridge in my room constantly full of soda that's all that was in there i wasn't like can i also get some water

it's just like yeah seriously cases of like shasta soda and then a five pound bag of hot tamales that's like i just remember there was a day like we had all this cheesecake left over and i ate four pieces of cheesecake in a day like this and i used to drink probably like three four cans of soda yeah i was pretty late in the game of life too when i realized that cheesecake is essentially just cream cheese i had no powdered sugar you didn't know that i had no idea so when i'm eating cheesecake i'm like well it's just cake i mean sure it's not great but it's not like i'm eating a tub oh it's one of the i think it's one of the worst things you can eat probably so fucking good though like cheesecake factory cheesecake I will never eat that.

Oh, I'd love to see the nutrition stats on that. Oh, I looked it up. Yeah. It's horrific. I remember being 16 when I had like a mild eating disorder, probably. And like we ate there, my girlfriend and I at the time, who had a real eating disorder after i found out afterwards uh and uh and dude like the saturated fat was a day and a half's worth of saturated fat in one

slice of cheesecake unbelievable yeah we uh uh when chipotle first came around me and my buddies looked up like the nutrition facts online if you get like a burrito yeah and like it's it was 2000 yeah my my burrito order was like 2200 calories oh my god and you're where do they come from your limit for the day is 2000 yeah dude uh just the uh the the wrap the burrito wrap part it's like 500 calories right so, so right there, you're in it. And then you're adding rice and sour cream and cheese and shit. And then I started doing the healthy Chipotle

where I would do a bowl and no rice. And at that point, it's just like, this sucks. You need some rice in there. The rice is dope. Plus, rice and beans together form protein chains in your stomach. Really? Yeah.

I don't know. Is rice carbs? That that's carbs yeah yeah yeah starch or carbs i think it's a carb okay maybe both i'm pretty like trying really hard not to eat carbs really i'm doing pretty good at it actually interesting yeah i mean every now and then like i'll have like a burger but no like pizza um i mean well listen it's like i'm sure i like this okay we'll make fun of me because i'll like announce to people i'm like guys i'm not eating sugar or carbs like two minutes later like we're getting pizza yeah no like on the snow day yeah karen and i like we went and we just chilled at frazier's then we know day bets are off yeah and then we went to art house we got a two pizza well three people we got two pizzas nice and then on the walk home we ran into eric he might uh just you know been out enjoying himself something and some good times and we had some good times and then so like we're

walking home like let's go to rocket and get a pie so then we got um karen we were sitting at the bar and we just all three of us only ordered pie, and Josh hooked us up. He put ice cream to a la macabre, dude, and he heated it up. But Karen was like, do you want to split one? I was like, no, bitch. I'm going to get my own. What are you, nuts? I was like, are you crazy?

If we're going all out, just get your own slice. I love that you're like, yeah, no carbs. I guess we should split them. No, what the fuck? Exactly. Did I backhand you so but uh i probably eat carbs like once a week maybe interesting yeah i feel better and i haven't drank in like almost a month dang yeah i'm doing new york sober oh cool yeah wait doing what well

nick mullins at new york sober is just you don't drink but do you could do anything else everything else yeah yeah yeah that is funny yeah like you're blowing lines of coke and you're like yeah it's actually i feel so much better not drinking yeah oh he had a funny i don't know if it was a joke or a riff i think it's a riff so i'll share it like yeah he was like my life he's like this is crazy like i'm my life is going great and like it just yeah i know it can't keep going this way because the story can't end with like yeah he had a racist podcast and he just got rich off of kept making more money yeah and doing even more coke and uh he lived happily ever after right yeah more coke yeah he's like he just kept buying

more coke and getting more successful yeah yeah that is the funny thing about like about drugs like that too where there really is never a good story with it like you know like weed you know like people are like i don't know i just feel like i make the best music when i'm on like yeah yeah no one's ever been like i don't know once i started chasing the dragon everything kind of fell into place for me that's why i'm the ceo of this fortune 500 company i couldn't imagine i am not productive uh on good times oh really no i think you kind of have to like trick yourself a little bit i mean i go like i went for a run yeah i went for a long run there you go uh i cleaned my room yesterday so that's cool But I mean, if I need to sit down and do work, I couldn't imagine writing jokes.

Right, right, right. Or at least ones that you would be like, yeah, these are good. I could probably write for a few pages and be like, all right, I can't use any of this. I did that one time, and I looked at it the next day, and I wrote Kony 2012 jokes in the summer. It's fucking insane. It's like six six years late a little behind yeah behind it's all right that's all right just priming the pump getting it going yeah getting it going you know yeah um but uh yeah man so you're gonna you're gonna watch the boo bear on

saturday right are you doing the um the show on saturday What is it? The lecture? No. I think I'm just going to be there. I'm not good. I don't want to fucking mindstem. I'm not good at shows like that. People could go to it. Oh, yeah. I've been plugging it. There's a show Saturday at Joe's Squared.

It's called Three Sheets Lecture Series. Ahmed Veos. Very funny comic from DC. He put it together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A bunch of comics go up, and they give a lecture with at least three slides. It's a real lecture, but something they're actually interested in and know about. And care about, know about, and can give a talk on, but they're wasted.

Blasted, yeah. Or super high. Yeah, yeah. And it benefits Youth Empowered Society or Yes in Baltimore, which is like a, it's kind of like a safe space for homeless youth in Baltimore. So entry fee is just bring a toilet tree, like deodorant. I don't know, all that shit.

So toothpaste, toothbrush toothbrushes anything like that um cool yeah condoms i don't know sure bring condoms sure and you know no uh yeah so then i wear a condom when i take it i think it's at eight or seven i don't know it's on it's on joe squirt site yeah so yeah that's the saturday and then june and jokes on april 5th judah is sold out on april 8th judah free lander from 30 rock but we might add a late show nice yeah very cool you think he'll do the pod i can ask him what time he gets in yeah so that's a sunday okay that's easter though no it's a monday there's this sunday what the fuck is the eighth it's a sunday yeah it's a sunday just fyi yeah but But I'll ask him.

All right. Yeah. If we could do it, that would be fucking rad. Yeah. Cool, man. Yeah.

So yeah, I'm going to Chicago for, for the week and then yeah, I'll be back. I'll be back on Sunday and then next week I'm at the DC improv Thursday through Sunday with Taylor Tomlinson. Nice. So yeah, I'm excited for that. then it's rome russell's the feature so that should be a fun weekend that's gonna be a great weekend yeah and then i think i'm doing something in the lounge too so it's uh six shows plus like lounge shows should be fucking dope tight tight tight tight oh yeah how's the uh how's the special

coming good we edited like uh probably 15 minutes of it yesterday it took a while it looks good man yeah it's real good it's crazy and that's even before like i posted a clip that's before it's color edited the audio is mixed we'll probably bring up uh the audience some the audience a little because it feels tinny right now yeah but um yeah feels good nice yeah it already looks super cinematic like even before yeah the color correction it's crazy yeah it looks great yeah so uh have you thought about like where you're gonna release it or uh well i'll try to i want to try to get on a streaming service so there's some services that certain like that's

like their thing it's like they'll try to help you get it on one and whatever you make, they take a percentage of. Right, right. And I'll reach out to people and see what they think. But most likely, I'll probably independent release it.

Interesting, interesting. But I want to try to get it on the streaming service just to get a check. Like a Hulu, a Netflix or something? Yeah. I mean, it's very unrealistic for like the Hulu, Netflix, but maybe like a smaller one, like Vud amazon i know amazon's pretty like yeah they're pretty open

to stuff very nice yeah yeah voodoo would be cool voodoo's type yeah i mean whatever i don't give a shit anyone who's willing to give me money yeah exactly and then like you get to own it after a couple years or something right right right So it's not a big deal. Yeah, and if it accidentally ends up on YouTube or something somehow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you going to do? Yeah, I don't know. People do put theirs online.

I don't know if I would do that. Well, I think people that do that think of it as a promotional tool. I know Bill Burr is all about it. He's like, if somebody were to accidentally upload my special, because I think mostly for him that helps international markets too because they don't necessarily get Netflix or back when DVDs had regions to them and stuff like that. So you can see all his shit.

And that's the way that people watch it too. It's on their phone. Cool. Yeah, man. So it's like you can see all his shit. And that's the way that people like watch it too, you know, on their phone. Cool. Yeah, man. So exciting stuff. Hey, we made it. We did it. We made it.

We made it. Yeah, everybody check us out online. Speaking of streaming services, we are on the Spotify. So, yeah, listen to all the episodes there and say hi on the Facebook page that we have. We're on Twitter at DigSeshPod. Cool. At Josh Coderna on Twitter and Instagram.

And Umar is on there as well. Yeah. So, yeah, say hello. And we appreciate you listening. We'll talk to you next week. David Koechner, take us out. Boom. Dig Ration Sessions, coming to an end. Thank you. Oh yeah, oh yeah