The Digression Sessions - Ep. 253 - Josh and Umar!

Episode Date: May 21, 2018

Hola Digheads, on this week's episode, Josh and Umar sit down with their comedian buddies...themselves! Talking Umar's forthcoming special, Josh's show in Easton, buying shoes, and ICP! Follow the podcast and Josh Kuderna, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Laughable, Stitcher, & Spotify plz!

TAGE NETWORK That's a Gotti. stage and sign it up like no he was like good job and then natal was like was that clean enough for you but like because it tells like the opposite yeah exactly i was gonna say he's like bizarro jerry seinfeld because he's a guy that's like constantly writing yeah you know what i mean and he's the guy that actually because jerry seinfeld's like you gotta do the work do the work david tell does that but i think like more low-key he's not like he's just guy that actually, because Jerry Seinfeld's like, you got to do the work. Do the work. Do the work. David Tell does that, but I think like more low key. He's not like. He's just not like a dude who can, because of the kind of comedy he does.

Yeah. And he, and I think he could be in more shit, but he doesn't want to. Yeah, probably. I don't know. I mean, who knows? I mean, he did just weird shit. Like he did Dave's old porn. Yeah.

Where he would watch 70s porn. Yeah. With a, with a comedian and then have on an old porn actress or actor and uh kind of cool yeah but he spent like tens of thousands of dollars of his own money to make it oh my god yeah because i'm sure showtime how much does he have after that he said he was like pretty much broke. Oh, my God. That was on Showtime. I'm pretty sure. Wow. Because I think it had to be because it's porn.

They couldn't show insertion, but to show tits and stuff. That's nutty. I thought it was just a podcast. No, no, no, no, no. It was a TV show. So, yeah, it had to have production value and all that stuff. And, I mean, it probably doesn't cost cost a lot but you have to get the rights to show that porn i'm sure they're probably like give us 50 in a hot meal yeah you can show this

porn from the 70s or dude i just asked uh nolan straws of double dagger fame if i could use one of their songs oh really for my intro for my special for my intro outro oh that's exciting and uh and he was like dude this is not gonna be worth it because like they don't own the rights to their music so you'd have to go through the record you'd have to go through the record label and this one dude he was saying is like like somebody wanted to do like use a song from that same record for some like 10 10 anniversary thing and the guy asked for so much money and a percentage of the vinyl press like the sales from the vinyl yeah that they they would lose money making that oh my god that song just to get the rights yeah and so he was like because i was thinking i was like yeah if it's like what he's like no dude it's gonna be too much it'd be

really funny to get a karaoke version or like a kids bop version of that song yeah yeah like weird alit in a way but just like kids singing about whatever i mean mean, I would probably pay a couple hundred, but no more than that. But even then, it's like if I'm selling it for five bucks a pop, it would take so much. I think he's talking thousands of dollars. That's crazy. It has to be, right? He said hundreds of dollars. Oh, really?

Yeah. But even if it's past 200, it's... Because think about how much I would have to... Because who even knows how many I'll sell? Sure. I might not even make that 200 back right might not even break even yeah that would be insane yeah but like it's pretty cool song though right yeah yeah to play what like 15 seconds yeah like 45 seconds at the end yeah yeah i won't say who but apparently like there was a comic who for a netflix special uh was willing to pay $250,000 for rights to a song. That's a quarter of a million dollars.

Yes. But the dude's wife stopped him from doing it. But he was just like, fuck it. I'll just use the money I make from the special. How crazy is that? So Tom Segura was going to spend a quarter of a million dollars? I don't know. Yeah, it makes sense.

Yeah. Isn't that crazy? That makes sense. Yeah, I would too. I would be like, a quarter? What are you, insane? sense. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? That makes sense. Yeah, I would too. I would be like, a quarter? What are you, insane? That's insane. I think that's fine.

I just feel like the person who told me that would not be cool with that. We'll start. We won't say it. Bleep it. Just bleep it. I think it's funnier if you bleep it. Yeah. Well, we'll just start from where we talked about the David Tell stuff.

Okay. No one will know. No one will know. one will know welcome to the digression session i mean context clues i'm not that's a wife yeah yeah i'm not because yeah again even if you just saying that i don't say people are gonna be at home be like tom Seger was going to spend a quarter of a million dollars. Holy shit. Yeah. And I'm sure the source of that too, probably also,

uh, over embellishes. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Where that gets lost.

It was a very famous song though. Oh really? What song was it? I can't remember, but it's a big band it's like a rolling stone song so yeah i was gonna say it'd be so funny to have like a beatles song it has like nothing to do with your special it's like here's a hard day on my last special cost four million dollars like why where did you shoot it in space no i was in the denver comedy works

for 42 seconds oh my god well even if you like even if you like, dude, think about like, I don't know. I don't understand how anyone gets anything done. To make like, let's say you're making an indie movie and you want to put like cool songs in there. Well, Mike Fianazzo. The budget for that must be nuts. Mike Fianazzo just went through that. His movie, Bored in the USA, which is going to be premiering at the Senator Theater on June 6th. Oh, hell yeah. I'll be there.

So check that out. Yeah, I'm going to moderate a little Q&A afterwards, too. I think he's going to try to get it in the main theater of the Senator, too, which is very historic. It's great. It's huge. So yeah, he was like, if we sell 200 tickets, that would be really cool.

It's not going to be packed or sold out because it's a huge theater, but it would just be cool to have it there nice wait so he was trying to get rights to a song well he was just saying like he would reach out to like some indie people or people he wanted a national song yeah they're a big band national yeah that was they play like merryweather when they yeah that was for, for his last movie, Wits End, he tried to get the National on there. And I think it was like 10 grand or something like that. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah.

That's like half the budget of a lot of small movies. Right, and that might be way more than the budget of his movie in general. But he got a guy to score the thing, to actually write original music for it. Wow. Which is pretty good. And then I think he got... And then there some like local people that maybe don't have a label that are like pay me a couple hundred bucks and you can have it or whatever damn dude but yeah no that shit yeah music will drive up your budget like fucking crazy for sure yeah that and yeah and

now i'm just like like i've watched my special yeah how do you feel about it good yeah uh there's a couple things that i would change like what your voice didn't go up in octaves so i believe yeah yeah it's really good you know i've come to terms with it yeah no there's a couple things i would change uh i think i'm too close to it because my one friend she watched it uh-huh she hasn't really seen my a lot of my comedy before and she's like no dude it's really good nice yeah yeah i mean i was i was there for it you crushed it so yeah you know but things don't translate as well on in the moment in the moment there's like a chunk of it where i'm like oh it sounds fine but it's nowhere near as the last as the other chunks get and i was like fuck i should move can you uh can you uh

sweeten it as i don't want to sweeten it i I don't want to cheat. As they say in the biz. Yeah. It'd be funny to get a laugh track from like, I love Lucy. Yeah, yeah. It's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Like, dang, he's crushing with those dead people. Cool, man. Yeah, I'm excited. Do you have a release date? Not yet.

We still have to color correct it, audio correct it. Uh-huh. Because you can like tell the difference between the audio when it switches sometimes. Yeah. And. Yeah, that stuff's a pain in the ass. I audio when it switches sometimes. Yeah. Yeah, that stuff's a pain in the ass. I don't know how to do that. I don't know who's going to.

I hope someone does do it. Because then if you don't, it's going to be bad. Yes. I had that with Finazzo's albums. Well, just because you're trying to blend two shows. Yeah. Or sometimes you want to move a bit. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Where you're like, oh, actually, you don't realize it until you're watching it. You're like, oh, shit, if I could move this bit before that bit or cut that in half. So I kind of want to move some chunks around. Yeah. I don't think I can. It's hard. It's really hard. Also, dude, what I am so pissed about myself is I didn't stay on stage.

I literally like, thanks, Baltimore. And I ran off stage. It just doesn't look good for a special. You should stay like, oh, thank you. And you just kind of say hi to the bite of the crowd you should do do like uh can you do like a freeze frame thing yeah like this like hard hip-hop song comes in you know just like fades to black or whatever that'd be pretty cool i think i should do that like thank you baltimore and then it's just like a freeze frame credits i think that's the way to go because right now it looks stupid.

You're like, I gotta go. Bye. I'm like, thank you. Bye. I'm just like, I have to take a shit. That's pretty cute.

Cause it's your first pageant. Like I made it to the end. Now I gotta go. Yeah. It was just almost like, you know what it was? It was trying, I was trying so hard to not make it.

Cause it was a big night for me, but I didn't want it to like, I didn't want to go overboard with like the soaking it in. Well, also, you don't want to seem self-congratulatory. That's it. Exactly. It's ego. Yeah.

Yeah. You don't want to look like. You already feel like I know I would. I felt weird doing that. The whole night you feel weird. Yeah. You're like, I'm not, who the fuck am I to do this? Yeah.

Me and my buddy Scott, you know, Scott Macklin's he's shooting a lot of stuff and involved in production he's like yeah we'll do like a short film about you and doing like comedy and kind of the what you're going through it wouldn't really he's like it's sort of be biographical but not and then you know we'd shoot you on stage and these things and i was like i love the idea and it's really sweet that you said that but it makes me feel weird to be like i i deserve all this attention but you know to somebody that's on the outside like no dude we can make like a fun short film and uh he's probably listening right now like oh fuck but i would be into it but i what i'm just trying to say is i understand like even doing stand-up is like a feeling of like look at me yeah for sure and then you have a night where it's like all these cameras are here for me

all you people are here for me yeah and so i didn't want to like yeah it just i was like i didn't want to stand on stage and be like i fucking did it right exactly you don't yeah yeah like i think like um uh fuck what's that guy's name not carlos mencia the other hispanic guy fluffy no gabriel iglesias no he uh come on man bill cosby yeah no he and then he had like a late night show kind of on tbs george lopez lopez yeah he really soaked in his first special i remember that because he goes uh what did he say he's like he like went on like some rant about being an immigrant hispanic immigrant well yeah it's so weird working from nothing it's so weird that i know what you're talking about because i think i saw just like the tail end of that special and he goes this really means a lot thank you guys because you know what there's only three

hispanic people to ever have a special so and so so and so and then he holds the mic out and just like puts his face out of like and on the third like he doesn't even have to say it and then like kind of like drops the mic stand up you're like oh he dropped he did a full-on mic drop yeah okay yeah yeah yeah yeah that was when uh mic dropping was very in vogue and very cool yeah i think which i think is black community and the hispanic which i think is rude as shit i hate oh dude if you tried imagine someone dropped one of your 90 microphones yo i'd flip yeah i would be like you're paying for i remember i had to tell a comic well i was gonna say it's not even like a uh african-american or hispanic thing because it's also like uh all t guys do it too oh yeah so him what's his uh grant no him too yeah but there was another comic i mean he's huge now he's on come down sometimes i don't know he's

like from dc are we gonna say it i can't think of his name oh i'll say it oh yeah they make fun of him all the time on come down oh brandon wardell wardell he has a whole bit where he drops the mic like at least six times that's right yeah and i when i booked him i was like dude you cannot drop the mics here they're really expensive and they'll be really mad you can not only fuck up the mic for sure but you can fuck up the sound system yeah and it kind of fucked up his uh the flow of the joke why are you like dropping his hand yeah because he would just drop it like halfway it's like it's like a punk rock band it's like could you not destroy your instruments i always think too when like there's like some like uh punk bands will swing the microphones i'm like dude you have a lot like there's like a lawsuit that you're teasing every night if that thing flies off and

hits some 14 year old in the face oh that yeah you're god i would sue the shit out of fucking Davey Havoc from AFI. Take it back Thursday. Take it back to your bank account. Sue your ass. Newfound wealth. Brand new millionaire, motherfucker. That's what's up. All right. Bling bling.

Blink 182. Blink 182, dog. Yeah. Quick side story. I remember we saw Taking Back thursday at a 9 30 club and uh when i and i was a fan but i just thought the dude adam the singer was like so full of himself and he's like flipping the mic and like that's his vibe and i get it you probably fuck like 16 year olds too all the time yeah yeah yeah but he was wearing a half shirt like showing his belly and the shirt

said i am the scene and he was like out there moving around is he i think that's only cool if you're gay no i think it was like uh it was like an ironic thing so but uh we were in the balcony of the 9 30 club and uh he actually got really fucked up i think crowd surfing or something like that maybe the mic even hit him i don't know but he got really fucked up, I think, crowd surfing or something like that. Maybe the mic even hit him. I don't know. But he got really fucked up where he had like a ton of stitches in his face. Like I think he tried to jump.

Maybe I'm mixing up two people. But something happened on stage where he got fucked up. Like he either tried to jump in the audience or like fell. The Take Me Back Sunday dude? Yeah, yeah. It happened at the show you were at? No, no, no, no, no. Oh, it happened three years. It happened before.

And you could see it. No, so what happened was he was like in between songs and they're tuning. He's like, it means a lot to you guys for coming out. This is so fucking cool. Everybody's like, yeah. And he's like, I don't know if you heard, but last year I really went through some things and I had to, I forget the amount, but he's like, I had to get 200 stitches. And I just go, gross.

And he just goes, all right, it's time to grow up. And I was like, no. For real? That's so cool. That's really cool. So my buddy Zach, he plays in Piano's Become the Teeth. He plays bass, and he was there. And he was on another guy's podcast um this guy

jonah bayer who's actually the brother of vanessa bear from snl but he plays in a bunch of bands that has his own podcast and uh he had them on and i think they were talking about like have people ever heckled you or so i don't even remember but zach like shared that story so trying to be like yeah it was really funny and everybody in the on the podcast like well it's really rude well yeah because are they all musicians yeah yeah they take themselves serious like because dude can you imagine though it's like that guy should be made fun of right like dude like wearing a half shirt says i am the scene and like yeah and you're trying to get deep on stitches in your face you got because you jumped on a group of 15-year-olds, you fucking loser. I don't remember what it was, but it was something related to that.

Like he fell. He got attacked by a pit bull. Yeah, he was like, I don't know. He was in like the UN, like trying to take care of people. He's like, yeah, it was really bad, but we really helped those kids. We're like, pussy to take care of people. He's like, yeah, it was really bad, but we really helped those kids. We're like, pussy! It's gross. It's just so funny, like, when I was young, like, I thought, like, AFI

lyrics were so deep. And, like, I was like, man, these are such smart lyrics. And you just listen to it now. You're like, they're not saying anything. And they're just, like, whiny assholes. Yeah. And then you're also... They're whiny rich people. And then also, if you knew a 25-year-old writing those lyrics,

wearing all black, we saw... Yeah, you're in your mid-20s, and you are dressing like a stereotypical hot topic person and writing about dark rooms and fucking clouds and falling stars. But when I was a teen, I was like, man, this is great. Yeah. I feel the same way. Yeah, yeah.

We saw, I didn't see them play at Warped Tour, but I saw them, I saw a dude, Davey, at Warped Tour. And he was walking around, he was shirtless, had leather pants on and a black leather umbrella. It's like, okay, so you're going to be shirtless, but you got the umbrella what are we what are we doing yeah dude and then he was trying to get backstage and it was just like a fence and i'm like backstage we know warp tours all in like a parking lot and he like couldn't open the fence and it was just so funny to be like it's so unreal what like you can get away with wearing when you're in a band yeah or yeah people

think you're cool you're like yeah yeah like no other normal like if a comic i guess like some like like eddie murphy's outfits was ridiculous it was also the like late 80s early 90s yeah so red could you imagine doing stand up in a red chinese like jacket out to it like i know you faggots are looking at my ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He, like, literally says that. He's like, when a faggot looks at my ass, my ass gets hot. And everyone loves it.

Yeah. Yeah, people, and, yes, that is wrong, but the dude was 20 years old when he did that. Oh, yeah, yeah. Or, like, 21, yeah. You're the most famous comic in the world at 20. And he's doing, yeah, and he's doing Dar Constitution Hall. That's where that special was, which is so many fucking people. That's massive.

Wow. Yeah. You're like 20 years old. God. Definitely feeling himself a little bit. Yeah. So, yeah. That Dr. Doolittle.

Yeah. Yeah, you know. But I think your leather suit's going to look good on the special. Yeah, I'm pumped. I got a leather hoodie, guys. That's what most of your budget was, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to CGI in a leather hoodie. Really go for it. Yeah, man. Well, cool. That's what most of your budget was, right? You have to CGI in a leather hoodie.

Really go for it. Yeah, man. Well, cool. That's exciting. Yeah, I did stand up in Easton with Mike Fonazzo on Friday, speaking of him. Where the fuck is Easton? Easton is Eastern Shore, Maryland. Oh, shit.

Do a lot of friends and family go? No. I reached out to some people, but they couldn't make it. And then we almost didn't make it. The show was supposed to start at 8 o'clock. On didn't make it. The show was supposed to start at 8 o'clock. On Friday. On Friday. The show was supposed to start at 8.

And then it was just a two-man show. I go up at 8 to 20, 25. We didn't get there until 8.45 just because of traffic. Yeah, and it was raining all night. Yeah, the Bay Bridge was so fucked up. Yeah. Like, I get there, and I get out of the car because Mike's like, I'm just going to go park.

You just go in. And then the manager is outside and he's like, oh, there he is. Is that a comedian? You look like a comedian. Are you the comedian? He's like, yeah. And we told him we would be late. But he's like, all right, man, you got to get on stage.

I was like, dude, I have to piss and I would really love a beer. This woman's like, what do you want? I was like, an IPA because I'm a basic white guy. So I went pee, got my beer. And then one of the managers was on stage. And I think he was just killing time before I got there. And he's like, yeah, so we have shows, other shows coming up and the comedy show. Oh, there's a comedian right now.

I don't know his name, but here he is. And it's like, oh, how many people were there? 40 to 50. How many does it hold? Maybe like 60. So maybe it's maybe a little more than 50. Somewhere around 50 that's pretty good size pretty you know it was good but i it's a horrible way to come up on yeah and they

probably doors were at 7 30 holy so they've been waiting over an hour and so like you know how the feeling like you want to get to a show and kind of chill out a little bit this was like boom just go right in and then also they're disgruntled because they've been waiting the whole time and they're a little drunk because they've just been like yeah drinking so it's like how you guys doing like good okay here we go god yeah also it's just like coming up to stage at like a high school assembly when someone brings you up that way when there's no like all right thanks for coming out let me make some noise give it up for Josh Garderna. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, okay, here's one. And there's no like really real clapping or excitement. No.

I mean, there was like a little bit. Oh, my God. And I get the vibe, too, because they're just, they're pretty old. I mean, I'd say the median age is like 50 or higher. So they're just like, dude, it's late on a Friday. We've been here over an hour. Go. Yeah.

And it's like Baltimore weird. You ever check that out? Yeah yeah but i ended up having fun but yeah dude it was uphill battle yeah i drove to lorton virginia on friday yeah but that's a fun show real fun yeah uh also old white crowd conservative it's so fun dude they were great dude this like old israeli couple came up to me and i was like oh like what are they gonna say you know everything's going, and I was like, uh-oh. Like, what are they going to say? You know, everything's going on. Uh-oh. And they're like, get your can.

I'm like, what is going on? Is that your Jerry Seinfeld impression? Yeah, what is going on? Israel. Is that the Gaza Strip? What is this Gaza Strip? Where is that? How do you?

Dirty Jerry Seinfeld. How do you not? What is the Gaza Strip strip is that the spot between the balls and the tent yeah is that the gaza there's people i mean you can't take a stance on it i guess i mean whatever israel looks pretty bad murdering people yeah but then like you talk to people and they're like well you know both sides are doing bad things and you're just like you i don't push hard because i'm brown and and then like sure especially i like a lot of times like jewish people say that yeah and then so if you

push because i had a co-worker a co-worker who's orthodox like say like you know people just don't understand like they've never been in that part of the world they just don't get it and i'm like and i was just like yeah i'm not gonna there's there's no reason for me to say anything yeah i'm not informed enough on it. I'm not either. I just know that this is the first time that a difference of religious opinion has gone wrong. I know. It's like, you know, maybe it'll run its course and get better.

But they moved the embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, which for a lot of makes it also like, oh, well.s isn't being uh fair yeah or objective right and so they're supposed to be peace talks and like well obviously you side with these guys yeah and that's why nobody has done it since trump and he's like no just fucking do it but everybody else is like people are gonna die he's like yeah but you know what kind of people dude yeah so i have this picture in front of me and my and my dad that tommy simbazo photoshopped trump oh really i thought like you had like a cardboard yeah it kind of looks like yeah nice yeah he photoshopped it in there because i got it for my grandma because we went saw her today for mother's day does she like trump she hates him vehemently hates him and uh

did not think it was funny at all really yeah she was a real sour puss what did she say she was like oh no really you think i'm gonna put this in my home and i was like yeah like we like framed it and shit and just like i mean it's like a cheap little like four by six we're just giving the thumbs up like it's clearly that's hilarious clearly a joke and damn she's like this very well-read lady and has tons of books. She's one of those people that will get the New York Times on Sunday and read it for three hours. Uptight Betty.

Yeah. I couldn't think of it. Is there a you girl's name? Ursula. Uptight Ursula. Uptight you Betty. Uppity. Yeah.

Uppity. Yeah. So we went out to lunch and then, yeah, lunch sucked. Why? Where'd you go?. Uppity. Uppity. Yeah, so we went out to lunch, and then, yeah, lunch sucked. Why? Where'd you go? Food wasn't good. We went to Annapolis. That's where she lives.

She's, you know. Did she get crab cakes? No, she got a crab cake, and she was not digging it. Not digging it. That's the worst, dude. I hate going out to dinner with my family, and then when they're so hard to please. Yeah, the food objectively was not that good.

And our server was really weird. Oh, Jewish, huh? Yeah. You know, she was weird. Josh? Weird. So, yeah. We sat down and I guess it was brunch

and whoever sat us was like a bus boy or something and he gave us full menus and uh my grandma wanted to get uh um what is it french dip or no the french onion soup no the uh the sandwich with like the au jus is that that french dip i don't know what au jus is au jus is like basically like what you cook the meat in i think like the au jus. Is that that French dip? Dude, I don't know what au jus is. The fuck? Au jus is like basically like what you cook the meat in, I think, like the, like, then what's left over and then you can dip it. Anyway, so she wanted a dip. She wanted, yeah, it's a sandwich where it's just like a meat sub

with like the au jus on the side. And she didn't- A Reuben. No, not a Reuben. But yeah, so she didn't see it on there and she like normally gets it there. And then our server comes over. My grandma has her menu open. And she's like, oh, I a Reuben. But yeah, so she didn't see it on there. And she like normally gets it there. And then our server comes over. My grandma has her menu open.

And she's like, oh, I had a question. The woman goes, we're not serving dinner. Who gave you these menus? These are not, this is not, we're doing brunch. So don't even, that's dinner. So we're not serving dinner. Whoa. And my grandma wasn't even going to ask about dinner.

It's just the menu was open. And I had to be, first i was like lady like whoa what is going on it's like that's not even her question and she's like well we don't have french dip french dip's not on the menu oh brunch my girl's like all right and the lady just never recovered from there how old was this lady in her like 50s it was weird and like she like wanted us to rat out who gave us the menu she's like well who did that who gave you these i don't know a 14 year old boy like barter they're like i don't need to throw in some free dessert yeah we'll start talking right right yeah god what piece of yeah it was really weird and maybe she's a little crazy i think she

was yeah yeah and then like brought out everybody else's food except mine and then five minutes later she's like oh i'm working on yours i'm working i got a chicken and a waffle and she's like i'm working i'm working on it yeah i was like okay she's like i've asked them three times i don't know what it is here did you want two biscuits and then chicken soup and biscuits all right and then yeah it just it wasn't very good man it was damn grandma guys that was our local business yeah yeah us complaining so that was we gave a lot of shout outs last week to charmory local oyster wc harlan clovelle so when we were very positive other local spots mom and pops taco bell taco bell

chipotle give these little spots a chance, you know? Yeah, dude. I want... Wait, is that donut spot still open? It's a different donut spot. Is it good? I haven't tried it yet. I was thinking, dude, you can get a donut injected with soft serve at the soft serve place across Charmory.

I like that. Also, last week we were like like how come nobody has put the fucking ice cream on the waffle the waffle spot can i walk by the waffle spot it was like try our charmory combo waffle ice cream i was like yeah of course yeah yeah of course i'd be yeah i'm an idiot i didn't see that though but to be fair we got there i didn't know it at the time either literally like saturday or maybe you get it no no because we're on our way to dinner uh but yeah i would fuck with that for sure oh my god i might do that no no yeah i just ate no i can't such a bad boy last weekend yeah you're still paying for that yeah i think so yeah i've been paying for it all so it was a lot of eating

paying for it no i'm just kidding but Come on. But God, you feel gross. Yeah, Mace and I, we went for like a close to like four mile run today. Nice. So I'm going to try to get more. What time? It's hot. I went running today too. We ran at like four o'clock.

I went at one. Ooh, that's the worst. Time to run. Dude, it was hot as shit out. Where'd you go? Just kind of around the neighborhood. Yeah. So I met him over by like the dominoes here in

beautiful hamden we ran up 41st and like around the park and then up by rocket to venus so nice baltimore listeners no i tracked it on i got that nike app that tracks where you run now so what's that do you have to have the shoes with it or something no no you just download the free app oh cool and it just and it's just like music while it tracks yeah because some of the apps before you couldn't like you have to keep it open. I was like, well, this is bullshit. Yeah, it's really dumb. No.

Yeah, you can play music and then like it also, it's cool. It's pretty, like it knows what you're doing. Like if you stop, it'll stop your workout too. So it knows. And then it'll announce like stopping workout and then you keep going. I was going to show you on my phone. Dude, this heat is getting brutal. I ran today.

I hated it. Yeah. I only got five miles done, guys. Oh. I felt going to show you on my phone. Dude, this heat is getting brutal. I ran today. I hated it. Yeah. I only got five miles done, guys. Oh. I felt like a bitch. Yeah, dude. Mason and I did like four miles. He ran in a sweatshirt too, by the way.

What? Yeah. Why? Is he trying to lose? He's trying to lose weight, yeah. For what? Just getting in shape. Damn.

That's unhealthy. He does Muay Thai. He's not doing it. So I was like, oh, yeah, you're cutting weight. He's like, well, I'm not cutting weight. That infers well he does like he does like that's unhealthy he does muay thai he's not doing it so i was like oh yeah you're cutting weight he's like well i'm not cutting weight that infers that no just running in this heat with a sweatshirt is god uh yeah he's trying to build up his endurance and stuff because he does muay thai i wanted to squeeze another mic uh my mike a mile in and i was just dying yeah i couldn't i cannot handle this humidity yeah i haven't run since last i'm like in shape that's crazy yeah i haven't run since last... I'm, like, in shape. That's crazy. Yeah, I haven't run since, like, last Monday. And then this morning, I'm eating, like, chicken and waffles covered in syrup.

Like, I did feel... I was like, dude, I could fucking vomit right now. We got Rita's, too. It's like, now I'm gonna run. I'm like... That's such a bummer, too, because all that ice cream and all that shit comes around the summer. And it's like... But, like, the time where you want to look your best.

You know, you gotta work hard, play hard, hard boobie i feel like i work hard or yeah i work hard i just yeah i feel like it doesn't show that well i'm just like god it's frustrating yeah your body's a grower not a shower you know what i mean just like your dick what what what do you my dick is no yeah my dick i don't know what my dick is my dick don't grow or show my yeah my dick's just like uh uh i'm here my dick's uh down here it's a no call no show yeah my dick gonna get fired my dick's a wall they're gonna fire my dick oh 86 my dick oh man but yeah we're gonna try to do uh like a 5K, like a legit one by the end of summer. What's a legit 5K? I mean like an actual one, like enter into one.

Oh, cool. Instead of just like running one on your own. I'll do that with you guys. That'd be cool. Cool. You just pass us and crush. Yeah. Yeah, it's cool because the Nike app tracks like the elevation that you run, the time,

and then it gives you the time for your miles and stuff. Do a 10K. Let's do a 10K. All right. Six miles. Oh, is that what that is? Well, let's do a- 10k is just three point because the 5k is 3.2 so then yeah 10k 6.4 let's well listen mr i'm good at running already you can do it i know i know yeah all right come on bitch let's just do let's do the i'll do a 5k for and then you can do like i'll do a um

what did you say 10k i'll do a 10k like the month after or something all right but he said do a 5k for and then you can do like i'll do a um what did you say 10k i'll do a 10k like the month after or something all right but he said do a 5k by the end of summer i think we could do it before then you could do it now you run you guys just ran four miles and we also talk you want to like do you have a goal though for your mile minute mile i definitely want to get it down um because we we talked like the whole way. Yeah, talking makes you slower. Yeah, and we took breaks and stuff too because I was sweating my fucking ass off. I don't like when people get to like a stoplight

and they keep running at the corner. Yeah. I don't think people need to do that. Yeah, I stop. Yeah, I stop too. I feel like you look like such a douchebag. Yeah. You're like,

we had to check your wrist. People look at the wrist and then get the two fingers on the adams apple like how am i doing you like don't need you don't even have enough time to count a full minute but stopping does suck when i stop and i have to keep running it is it feels like a but that shit's good for you too it is like mini interval training or whatever but yeah so we we averaged or at least i did average like an 11 minute mile doing that which is not good yeah not good whatever not good but it was hot as shit you guys were out there for a minute we're out there 45 minutes yeah about like 40 minutes yeah wow yeah so that's i mostly look at it for like a

time thing versus distance really of like how long i'm out there but yeah we walked and then uh we were some chatty kathys too the entire time it great. It's so fucking hard to run and talk to. It's so hard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but if like,

yeah, whatever, it's going to help, I think ultimately, but you know, you should put headphones in. And then when you run with each other, who's faster? I don't know.

We didn't really like work that out. We just, we pretty much jog the whole thing. There was no like sprinting, but I don't know. He might be faster. He probably has a longer stride. Yeah.

He's taller. I don't know. But me, yeah, yeah not i have like zero athletic acumen too so if i'm running like me too like my face is the color of the fucking sun like the core of the sun and just like i hate the heat man i don't like summer summer is my least favorite season i like sweating when i run though because i feel like i'm accomplishing shit i just mean like what we talked about but like just like the constantly sweating when you're outside yeah i hate it yeah like i was just at a barbecue with my my buddy arian danny's and like we uh we thank god i didn't want to be the one to say it but danny was like let's eat inside i was like yeah yeah it's hot as shit so hot it's not fucking and that's the worst part about like

dating in the summer too. Like I hate eating. Even on like nice days, I don't want to eat. If I'm going to a place, especially like, I mean, I'm not taking like first, second dates to Woodbury, but let's just say you're going to like food market. I mean, they don't have outside seating, but I feel like so much like when I'm eating, like if I'm paying like $30 for a meal, dude, I want to eat that shit in the air conditioning where no flies are bothering me and no sun is like beaming on my face

while I'm also then having to be funny and trying to impress a girl. You're just sweating. You ever noticed pants are weird? They like the National a lot. Their last album was kind of gay, but then she just leaked the date because I said gay.

Pitch Four gave it an 8.4 out of 10. It's too gay. Did you hear that? That's what they said. I read Breitbart just to make fun of it. Yeah. Ironically subscribe. So,

you know, yeah, but yeah, man, and now I got to go back to Annapolis tonight. That sucks, dude. 10 o'clock show on a Sunday.

It's a late one. Yeah. I hope people come out. Woo. That is idea was that casey's yeah and miles and uh and brian who are because they work for schools yeah and they got to be their ass early like 45 minute drive oh yeah at least at least and then you gotta load in gear, gotta load out gear, and all that stuff. Damn. I think Casey thought school would be over by now. Yeah.

I have no idea. I don't know. City schools don't close until the 19th of June. Damn. Because we have those fucking snow days and shit. Oh, here comes Karen and a new Moo Moo. Hey girl. What's up dude what's up muumuu only muumuu karen wears exclusive exclusively muumuu i don't know that

that's what that was called yeah what makes a muumuu a muumuu karen it's just a big shirt you look like you look like black guys in the early 2000s remember when they wore those big ass shirts oh yeah the tall t's yeah yeah which was like four inches of their pants that was like the worst time in fact because even rappers like like yeah would wear like huge and then like tims and dickies remember that yeah i mean i feel like the first guy to do that just had to get a giant ass t-shirt and he was like nah it's cool and they're like yeah and then speaks to that guy like that is cool yeah all like the stores like the urban stores and this the this like really shitty mall near my uh middle school they just everyone just started

security square mall no westview mall okay and they started carrying all these teas uh-huh and then like all my everywhere they're getting like either you get the black or white ones and i just remember the whole i was like god you look so silly like you look like you're waddling when you walk in those yeah yeah yeah because your pants would be sagging too for sure yeah it's so funny though how like because some people still dress like that how some people won't let go of a fashion era yeah yeah so um where i get like in hamden that that haircut place we've the old bank it's like very hip or whatever right dude it's so one time i was so like everyone who works if you haven't been is like a hipster barbershop yeah

there's like beer in the fridge it's free it's cool natty bow dude natty bow and then everyone who works there is like tatted up some look like they're like these like almost choloey dudes i yeah i keep my groceries cold yeah umar isar is using our fridge. Don't worry. He's paying for a bit. And so and then, you know, some like punks and some like kind of like almost like the greaser kind of look. Yeah. So this family walked in. This boy just starts crying immediately.

He was like, these adults look scary. They're all like, yeah. Yeah. Freaked out that four year old. Yeah. That's what. Yeah. That's the look you have where you where adults think you're a loser, but four year olds are scared of you. Yeah. That, yeah. Yeah. Freaked out that four-year-old. Yeah. That's the look you have where adults think you're a loser, but four-year-olds are scared

of you. It's like, yeah, that's right. Yeah. Timmy, you idiot. Anyway, so there's one guy in there. He's really cool, but he has the same fashion that I had in middle school where it was just like baggy dickies. Yep.

Maybe like some kind of like Adidas sneaker and just whatever tee. It's just so funny i was like damn this dude hasn't changed his style in almost in over 20 years like dude it ain't broke yeah no need to fix it yeah dude i used to just own dicky shorts in like four different colors oh yeah the khaki black or like gray and the blue yeah yeah that was it and then i would just wear like band t-shirts yeah and. And then a chain wallet. I remember trying to do the sweatband on the forearm for a little bit. Oh, Rye Hill did that. I was like, this is whack.

Yeah. I did that move where you do a long sleeve shirt with a t-shirt over it. And the shorts. Oh, and the shorts. Yeah, absolutely. God damn. Did that shit all the time. I literally dressed like that every day when it was cold.

Yeah, it was just like Tom DeLonge. Yeah, exactly. No, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like Newfound Glory. They literally dressed like that every day yeah it was just like tom delong yeah exactly no exactly yeah yeah yeah and like newfound glory they all dress like glory messed i was taking my cues from all those guys yeah absolutely which is so dumb and then i just realized i was like oh so many of my political views are shaped by a guy named like fat mike just insane uh or like a band called bad religion who actually are insanely intelligent right right he has a phd in evolutionary biology sure sure yeah he's like what's up i'm overweight douche and i'm gonna tell you all about the political system yeah well their lyrics even to this day like i don't there's like their new like their new albums he uses insanely big words really like it's like to the point where

i'm like mike is definitely an intelligent bad religion bad religion because he's a dude he's a professor at ucla yeah no he's a real he's so smart yeah exactly he's crazy and it's just like but it's just so funny because like all these punk kids it's like you don't know what he's saying you have no idea what he's shouting you have no idea what he's saying. You have no idea what he's saying. Just shouting it out. You have no idea what he's saying. Yeah. He points the mic at the crowd, and they're like, and the dichotomy of the juxtaposition. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And, dude, well, but the cool thing about them is, like, they had a whole song called Kyoto Now, which is about the Kyoto Treaty, which was, like, this anti-greenhouse gas, like, international, international like agreement that the u.s decided against yep and i wouldn't have known about any of that shit if it was for them gotcha yeah that's cool i was like dude i was in middle school when i knew yeah that's another dumb thing where it's like america's like nah and like okay who else said no saudi arabia north

korea yeah that's exactly and then our the reason we said no was is because like well the it's because the way it was written is like you know if you're an established country like a first world country you you're the emissions are way less than like a growing country right but and so they were saying that's unfair and it's gonna hurt our economy but the whole like the reason we are the powerhouse we are is because we burned a fuck ton of coal you know like so a lot of countries just have to do that until they can afford right uh uh more efficient uh environmental friendly methods yeah exactly yeah and we're like no we're sticking with it yeah coals are tall tea yeah nah dog we're rocking tall tees forever the world's like what if we didn't wear tall tees like uh-uh we look cool as hell oh fuck

i wanted to say something related to i can't remember oh uh well i wanted to say uh related to uh where you grew up like the woodlawn area yeah so i went to security square mall the other day because uh whoa dude i haven't stepped in that mall in like 15 i went to shoe city because it's right down the street from work yeah and uh i showed up to work and i forgot my shoes for the gym and i was like fuck it i'm just gonna go get shoes because it's like two minutes down the street so i went to shoe city and i have never been asked by so many people in my life like how you doing it was kind of but it was also like yeah it was like it wasn't just like they want to know like if i'm having a good day it was like you a shooter kind of thing

i was just like hey white guy like it was totally i swear out of place yeah yeah exactly are you looking for drugs you're in the wrong place right like my i'm facing a wall of shoes and like people behind me like 50 feet away that work they're like hey uh you good what's happening well dude if you're in like certain parts of the hood like uh people will tell you to leave they're like dude you gotta go yeah yeah like people like because uh my roommate eric laser was on the pod last week yeah they were filming a shoot for some rapper in west baltimore in some like just sketch neighborhood the rapper was like yeah i'll be here and then so they get there and like oh they're like oh i'm on my way i'm on my way blah blah and so they were just sitting in this car sitting there these nice people came by and uh

like and um and and they were talking to him and then they were just like hey i think people are noticing you guys like you guys should probably get out of here right right yeah yeah yeah it's so funny i think that's great when people are like what are you you gotta go yeah what are you doing here but yeah at shoe city i swear to god i was there probably no more than 15 minutes and every 30 seconds they're like like on average is like what's going on you okay i used to go to that mall that's so crazy dude we used to go to that mall all the time yeah i mean it's a nice bookstore in there yeah i mean the mall's nice is it still good i mean i didn't see a lot of it like i actually got lucky i was like well first i went i was like i'm just gonna go in the macy's because

sometimes they have like a like a small like finish line or thing like i just wanted to get some quick shoes but i got some dope adidas running shoes for like 60 bucks and then i also got some nikes for like 70 which are cool so so great yeah and then yeah but it was just so fun even the guy that was at the register then i got to the register with my shoes and he's like how you doing like i'm good man i'm good i'm all right he's like okay all right you're like i'm not on antidepressant yeah yeah just like the uh the amount of white people that are shoot like white kids that are shooting stuff of it yeah that's the best part about being an adult like dude if you wanted to buy new shoes and you're a child it is like god like you have to convince your parents you need new shoes early yeah just be

like oh man my shoes are falling apart yeah like well let me know when they do oh i mean my brother was such assholes we always wanted really nice expensive shoes and my parents would cave because they're like really nice yeah and just like me to pack son dude i used to make and that's how shitty i am like i would never spend the money on shoes that i made my parents spend on me when i was young right right like dude like oh my god like i remember my brother bought like 140140 pair of shoes for school. Right. That's insane that my parents allowed that to happen. Yeah.

I don't think till this day I've spent more than $100 on shoes. Yeah. I think like $90 is high. That's high. $70 for me with these Nikes that I got was a little high. And then I was like, oh, they're kind of cool. But I just dropped like, well, I was saying like I went to J.Crew the other day. Just like I was like, I need pants.

I just dropped like $90 on pants. Then I saw some shirts. I was like, let's get this. I remember being young and going to J.Crew. I was like, God, how do people ever afford these clothes? Now you're that person. Now I'm that asshole. I used to make fun of people who would shop at J.Crew.

I was like, look at these preppy douche bags. These fucking rich snobs. They're just like, wow, nice fit. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah looks formal but not too formal it's the only jeans that look good on me that like don't look like stupid kid jeans what am i supposed to do yeah guys oh i i wanted to bring up the uh we're talking about how like like a lot of band singing lyrics that kids don't get yeah i saw today like how we're so like we're so dumb like i like i don't know anything you know well and that's what's crazy like compared to the average american i'm smart you're informed yeah right but like i don't know how like tvs and shit it's like that

nate bergazzi bit yeah or like if he went back in time he could explain how yeah and try to be like yeah i'm from the future yeah but so remember like everyone gave icp so much shit for that song like how to man how do they work dude most people making fun of them could not explain you how magnets explain right now i have no idea how magnets work yeah or polarity no no i don't even really understand polarity yeah i think it's just funny the way they delivered it yeah yeah yeah but i like that like they're so they're probably so stoned and fucked out of their mind and they're like they're just like yo this world is cool yeah exactly they honestly got shit on for being positive right and being inquisitive yeah people hate positivity that

much yeah like you face paint pussy like two also like two people who are killing it like you can make fun of them all you want they're white trash from like trailer park detroit who are millionaires times over and have like a massive fan base that are actually like really supportive to each other yeah yeah like some of them are like completely bizarre but it's yeah it's it they seem to be pretty supportive of each other. Yeah, I was thinking about that, too. I was like, man, I was such an asshole for getting on board with the ICP's dumb thing. Yeah, because if there was a gif of Neil deGrasse Tyson going, how do magnets work? We'd be like, yeah, right, Neil?

Yeah. Good for man. This man, he loves... He's actually complex. He loves science. Yeah. Damn, that's tight. Go ahead, Neil.

Alright. Yeah, but then if it's like two dudes in like huge baseball jerseys with dicky shorts with face paint on. Yeah, that look like clowns. And like white people in dreads. Yeah. You know they spray their fans with soda, right? Yeah, Faygo. Like non-stop though. Really? Their show

is just non-stop soda. Oh my... they have like cannons and shit oh and people love it well i know i hate when my hands are sticky after i eat like like a like a sandwich or something yeah yeah yeah like i'm driving the car i'm like oh god i should travel wet naps dude that's unreal to me yeah they love it there was a story uh so like they booked tila Tequila one year. And our buddies, Andrew Larson. I don't know if I want to say their names.

Andrew and Sasha. Which is hilarious that he's an ICP fan because he's a PhD. On paper, he would not be the guy that you would envision as an ICP fan. Dude, he's from Boston. His parents make good money. They own a second home on martha's vein like jesus yeah he's he's super well adjusted and cool yeah he has a phd in cancer research he makes a great living but he only did that because uh his mom got cancer from drinking too much fagos yeah he was like i gotta figure this out i gotta find the cure before she dies it would be so funny if he had clown makeup on and the lab coat

and he's just like reviewing stats. Like, yeah, it's interesting. He's like, he has a Petri dish. I'd like to present

my PhD thesis. It's entitled, How Do Magnets Work? Dude, speaking of PhDs, I think like Cottonmouth Kings or somebody had a... Oh,

dude, I saw them live at 930 Club once. What? Yeah. They were headlining? Yeah. You went went to see them headline that's so silly to me dude oh yeah me me and my buddies like they were just i mean when you're in high school it's like the perfect music we're like man who gives a fuck you're like yeah this is funny what was their big song like they're big when we were uh dog's life uh maybe there's dogs they had a they had a bunch but yeah their first two albums but yeah then you see them live and you're like oh this is sad it's like 40 year

old dudes with spiked hair and they go uh i remember fuck what was the guy's name i'm blanking on all their names i didn't even first of all they also just had like a guy i think his name was like pakalika or something like that and he was like a tall dude that wore sort of like a face mask with sunglasses over it had like big braided hair that stuck out but then had like loose hair at the end of it and all he did was just like pop and lock the whole time on stage he doesn't rap doesn't rap doesn't do anything but one of the main dudes from cottonmouth kings i'm blanking on his name or he's just like he's like, it's good to be in D.C. How you doing?

Everybody's like, wow. And then he goes, he's like, it's fucked up though, man. From here, they can press a button and shoot a missile at anywhere in the world, but a plant is illegal. And everybody's like, boo. Oh, my God. Dude, if you look at them now, they look, I'm Googling them. Yeah.

Holy shit. Oh, is that like a current yeah wow wow guys look up cottonmouth kings they were like a rap rock mostly rap mostly rap yeah no when i was like 15 i was like this shit is great here's some of their songs where's the weed at good see that's cruising bohemia after dark so you ask where the weeds at and then you ask about magnets yeah that's tangerine sky uh-huh that's probably like a strain of weed or something yeah yeah add it again oh wait smoking again i did that just to see what the guy's name is they are from from Orange County, too, so they're like rich dudes. Might be, yeah, probably. God, that's so funny.

Yeah, well, yeah, they were like probably like... Saint Dog? Saint Dog, yeah, he was good. I think he had a... D-Lock. D-Lock, yeah. D-Lock. I think Saint Dog got kicked out, and then he got back in, I think.

Yeah, there's Pakalika. That's the dude I was talking about. He's dead. He died in it. Yeah, there's pack a leaker. That's the dude I was talking about the bread. He's he died in 2010. He's dead pocket. Dude, he's just popping and locking in heaven now.

My man dead. What do you die of? He from ninety six to twenty ten. He pop. He was he was born in. No, that's the years he was he was he was born in no that's the years he was he was he was a 15 year old damn it i want you know what i feel like it ruins it that he's now alive i wanted him to be dead it was so funny okay it's like holy shit it was just funny when i was like

he's dead okay it still made sense to me. I thought he wasn't in the group because he died. But also, can you imagine getting kicked out? Oh, my God. Yeah, how do you get kicked out of a band? They had so many ex-members. Daddy X. Yeah, I remember him.

But yeah, can you picture it's like, yo, Daddy X, D-Loke, Saint Dog, we got to talk about Pacalick. You ain't pulling your weight no more, man. You take bong hits like a bitch i heard you're not even smoking anymore yeah but pops and locks all those bands were fucking like girls and no one talks about it sure well the dude from brand new got some flack for that uh there's a dude on the realist podcast a comics podcast from new york yeah he was a band member and he told a story,

and he wouldn't name the band. Uh-huh. Oh, he did accidentally name them. Now I can't remember. Oh. But this really popular dude from a band just hooked up with a 16-year-old. Mmm. And then that 16-year-old,

so it was his friend, and he had the hots for her. Sure. So him and her go to this concert together. Yeah. She gets invited backstage. They go. Mm-hmm. Oh, no, he was like, if you go, I'm just going to go home. Right. sure so him and her go to this concert together yeah she gets invited backstage they go oh no he was like if you go like i'm just gonna go home because only she could go backstage because she's

like this super hot chick wait wait a minute only hot chicks i know right i don't know what they complain about um you hot girl we're gonna play chess backstage yeah but like she was 16 and so he just went home dude so the next day his parents call her house and like hey where's our daughter and he's like i don't know and she was like missing for like a month whoa went on tour with them wow were they pissed at him yeah yeah unreal right i mean that's so gross it's not really his responsibility no it's not at all but it's unreal that like would just stay on tour i want to know the name of that band i wish i could remember yeah he accidentally slipped and said

it write it down for next time yeah i will i bet that shit's so common you know what i learned this weekend too um not not like in that vein of but i'm sure it was happening you know rick springfield the song jesse's girl yeah we're still j still just oh it's about a girl who was raped and then oh i have no i have no idea but anyway that's his song yeah um but uh he is still like so popular oddly enough yeah here in the u.s yeah so at the avalon theater in uh in easton that we did we did like a small room upstairs but they have like a big theater downstairs and they get like national acts to come through rick springfield his quote is 25 grand to 40 grand for one show so if he's playing monday through thursday he has to be guaranteed 25 grand if he's doing friday or saturday 40 grand and the avalon theater can

pay no they're they're like dude we can't do that jesus oh dude that's how much that's insane that's a crazy amount of money and like the only people that probably like are still seeing them are like these women that like were 16 in the 80s and fucked over they're like yeah tanya it's like the tanya hardings of the world have you seen itania yet yeah uh have i seen a domestic violence the movie god yeah brutal uh oh um we're talking about uh paying dude the i don't know i mean we i think we're too old for for nick nickel speaking of weird music nickelodeons uh drake from drake and josh is gonna be at the metro gallery doing what music i never watched Drake and Josh. So Drake and Josh was this show.

I don't think I watched it. And if I had a gun to my head, I would have thought that was a Disney show. It might be a Disney show. Yeah. Because I didn't really fuck with Disney shows. I was like, you know what? I'm a Rugrats guy. I'm a Rocco guy.

Well, Disney, when we were little for a while, you had to pay extra for it. And then when we were in early high school, they made it regular part. Real monsters, bitch. And I was way too old watching Lizzie McGuire. Just way too... 14 years old. I guess the thing about it is it's not that old. The shows were made.

But to be a 14-year-old boy... It's kind of what it was for, though, right? Yeah. And I just remember thinking, I feel like I discovered Hayley Duff. Yeah, you did. She was on a national TV show. I was like, man, I feel like I discovered Hayley Duff. Yeah, you did. Yeah. She was on a national TV show. I was like, man, she's going to be huge.

And Shia LaBeouf was on a Disney show that I watched. Even Stevens was one of my favorite shows. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I recently discovered these. They're called A Very Special Episode. So do you remember when shows would try to do that where it's like they tackle like a big subject or something like that like juan rosan jackie had uh like domestic violence and stuff like that like on a very special episode yeah um so funnier die made all

these so they show there's on youtube and they show just like a shortened version of it and a guy narrates what's going on the whole time and they show one from uh mr belvedere do you ever watch that show you know what it is though yeah but a kid it goes to school with one of the kids in the show gets aids and it is so fucking funny dude like they're all freaked out about it and then they're trying to be like uh why wasn't billy in school and it's like oh the parents find out like he has aids and stuff and they think i got it from like a bad transfusion and then you know people and then it's in the 80s. So they're playing up the stereotypes of like you can get it if he coughs on your

just by yeah. So the kid Billy comes over to the house. He's like a friend of the family and they're trying to be nice. They're like, hey, Billy, how are you? How you doing? I haven't seen he goes. I'm okay. I guess except for the AIDS. It's so fucking funny except for the aid yeah he has like these big glasses and it's kind of like like he has like a i don't know like he

like stubbed his toe he's like i'll be okay oh my god got it i got it that's so funny i feel like i started a story and i told oh i'm sorry no it wasn't your fault. I did it. Hey, we were digressing. We were talking about... Music. TV shows, bands. Oh, we should get Drake on the podcast. I think that'd be funny. Should we just treat him like he's Drake the rapper?

Yeah. Like, damn, we got Drake on the show. I think it'd be so interesting to talk to him about what it was like working on like a kid's show. Okay. He probably hates... I was going to say, I bet he doesn't want to talk about it. He probably hates...

I'm like... Oh, Drake and Josh also don't get along. I don't know why i know this i think i saw it on like twitter or something like what happened one of them didn't invite the other to their wedding or something like that whoa i don't know why but that's you know that shit when you log into twitter and it's like twitter moments yeah so the whole show was like drake was the cool dude he played in a band and i guess so he is like a real musician, I guess. And so they built this show around where the angle for him was like he's in a band. Yeah.

And he's trying to get famous. And then he had like this fat friend who's goofy. And I think. And that's Josh. That's Josh. Right. But then like near the end, Josh hit a growth spurt. Probably started working.

You know, you're in Hollywood. And he got skinnier. So then I was just like too like, well, like Drake is still like super good looking. It was the opposite of the Belvedere show. Like, why do you look so good? He's like, I guess it's the AIDS. Yeah. I'm losing a ton of weight. That and the cocaine that the guy who molested me on set gives.

D-Lo comes popping in. Oh, God. Could you imagine? You just fucking. Who is going to see him at the metro gallery probably girls that are our age that watch straight yeah that it's like a nostalgia i think i want to go just to see what that's like exactly that's that's all it is it's a it's a curious but do you think he knows that when he's on stage? Sure. Like, if you were a comic, like maybe a certain local comic that they make fun of a lot on another podcast.

Yeah. If you're that guy, I don't think he knows that people come to see him ironically. Yeah, but he's crazy. Is he? Yeah. Oh, my God. Are you talking about the comic? Yeah.

Yeah. TM? Yeah, he's nutty. Wow. I don't think I've ever had a real conversation with him. Did you watch his videos yet? On the morning shows? I couldn't.

Guys, look up. It's upsetting. I got 20 seconds in. It's like, God, this is so uncomfortable. Dude, I watched all of them. There's like four of them. It made my skin crawl, man. It really did.

It's rough because it's like he's faking being a human. Yeah. No, he definitely has i should we just tell them who it is yeah yeah guys look up tom myers i don't want to give him any more shit than he's getting don't yeah well none of our people who listen attack him yeah yeah but yeah don't give him any shit because he's just i think he's a benign force yeah he's a really weird guy who lives with his parents he's been doing comedy for like 20 years yeah and he's just not funny i don't know if it's 20 years i think it's like

maybe 10 no he started with nick mullen in like 2010 nick mullen's doing comedy for like 10 years nick mullen's been doing for 14 he said okay so okay yeah may all right but tom's he's just a lot younger than you think he is that's all he looks yeah he looks old he's 35 he records albums and buddy yeah i don't i don't want to shit on him yeah because no i think there is like something something's going on there probably yeah i mean i i only ran into him a few times one of my favorite uh because we're towards the end of the podcast so we're gonna wrap up soon but one of my favorite don meyer stories he's he has like a thing about him where he's like he wants to be like the intense comic the like kind of he wants to be edgy like people can't handle my jokes exactly like bill hicks kind of

leather coat smoking a cigarette look up the edge schroeder show schrader show which was a baltimore show hipster show yeah yeah yeah out of uh wham city so top google ed schrader tom yeah but so we're doing we're doing this open mic in ellicott city and yeah yeah yeah coco lane and it had been raining that day but it had stopped for like hours before the show. Yeah. And there weren't that many people there. And Tom goes up and he goes, thanks for coming out.

Thanks for braving the rain and all the weather. And everybody's like, dude, it's been raining since like three o'clock. Like, well, okay. And he goes, yeah, small crowd. Thank you guys for coming up. Braving the weather. Small crowd. It's a, it's, it's a, what did he say? He's like, it's a, it's unique that I'm coming up. Brave in the West. Small crowd. It's... What did he say?

He's like, it's unique that I'm performing for enough people in the audience, not enough people in the audience, but I could easily choke out all of you or something like that. There's so few people I could literally choke everybody. I was dying. And then to his credit, he then killed. Maybe not killed, but did well. Wow. I mean, for somebody that starts out by saying wow it's really raining and then also i could choke all of you unreal he did he did well

that was really a staple the baltimore comedy scene lost was coco lane yeah yeah that was like such a good working room that was great god damn it was so good and so consistent dude and you met the craziest people there there was a girl there who faked cancer yeah uh comedian and then just like dude you'll see the world's weird i would see the world's weirdest comics at that show i just like and then weird audience members oh yeah yeah like regulars who are just like crazy people yeah it was so fun yeah well comedy is uh moth to the flame for uh weirdos in general absolutely fake cancer and then like uh or did she just beat it huh was it that she i think she like had a threesome with two dude comics oh no one just watched or something it was like god oh my god uh so a dc comedian told me a story recently about uh a couple of dc comedians and we got to wrap this movie theater story

uh no i don't know it's that all right can i tell you that one real quick so a local comic got jumped in a movie theater you didn't hear about this no i didn't hear we gotta we gotta wrap up soon though tell this story tell your story i don't even know if i want to because i don't know if i can do it justice because i gotta wrap it up um but basically so there's some some dude was like i think he was a virgin i think and had been like dating or like seeing this like older woman and i think this dude's like in his like early 20s and she was like in her 40s i think anyway she wanted to have sex and uh kid's a virgin i think so and so he sent out a text do i know this kid yeah maybe but he

sent out he sent out like a mass text to people and was like hey does anybody else want to fuck this chick with me a comic and another comic responded when did this happen a few weeks ago oh my god yeah so did it go down yeah whoa so they this guy's first time out was a threesome with like a comic that I think he's friendly with, but not, yeah, it's bizarre. Wow. Bizarre. A 20 year old virgin comic.

Bizarre. I'm trying to roll through the Rolodex in my head. All right, let's wrap it up. Yeah, yeah, let's wrap it up because I got, I got shit to do.

Plugs, plugs, plugs. This, this weekend I'll be at Magoobie's Joke House on Friday and Saturday. Two shows each night with the great Rami and Mastafavi. Wednesday, I'm at Ragtime in Arlington. And then Thursday, I am doing Speechless at the DC Draft House.

Nice. Friday, June... I feel like I have something else this month. I just don't remember. Friday, June 1st, I am going to be at Oliver Brewing Company with Mike Quillen and Petey Steele. It's also a food pop-up show. June 7th, Ramin Mostafavi headlines Gin and Jokes.

Oh, that's exciting. June 8th and 9th, me and Aaron Hinken are hosting Nights on the Fringe, which is a variety show at the Baltimore Theater Project. Get your fucking tote bags. Yeah, me and Aaron Hinken are going to be on tote bags. So get those. Yeah, awesome be on tote bags so get those yeah awesome totes get those all right this is a fun one man yeah uh yeah find us on social media and all that stuff i'm at josh caderno and most shit we have a facebook page and twitter and all that stuff so uh yeah if you like the podcast tell somebody about it will you bye and uh david

keckner take us out. Bye. Daygrass Sensations, coming to an end. Thank you. For them so I could move their two boots.