The Digression Sessions - Ep. 254 - Tommy Sinbazo! (@TommySinbazo)

Episode Date: June 4, 2018

Hola Digheads, on this week's episode, Josh and Umar sit down with their comedian buddy and fellow podcaster, Tommy Sinbazo! We talk to Tommy about his great podcast, Laughfinder, a first time homeowner's class, and a comedy buddy recently stretched out his foreskin. So we talk about that for a while, naturally. And we mention the passing of our hilarious buddy, Dylan Meyer. Riff in Peace, my friend. Follow the podcast and Josh Kuderna, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Laughable, Stitcher, & Spotify plz!

Tage Network. That's a Gotti. Uh-oh. Did you drink? You hungover? No, no, no. It's just I have caffeine addiction. So do I.

You're like, no, heroin. That's my thing. Dude, I have to have coffee like like right after I get out of the shower yeah it's great if I get to work and I don't have my which now I'm not supposed to do sweets or sweeteners even artificial sweet yeah I know this sucks for diabetes for yeah the like, stay away from it. She wants me to do this. She wants to do keto. Keto. Fasting. You're going to get that mic right on the... Glue it to you at the bottom. You're learning how to work like that.

We should tell that... Now work the cord. Work the cord. Every podcast with a guest starts out with us saying that. Put that thing up there. Yeah. But that just speaks to how comfortable guests are with us. That they're like...

Are we recording? Yeah. Okay. And every podcast starts out like, are we recording? Yeah. Okay. And every podcast starts out that way. We started. Yeah. We started. We got Tommy Zimbazo in the house.

Hey, buddy. Thanks for having me. From the Laugh Finder podcast. We're not in the tank top. Yeah. I didn't get the mask. Yeah.

I've never really seen Tommy in a tank. I know. And I'm excited. He's got his Deadpool tank. Yeah. And also wearing Deadpool socks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. seen Tommy in a tank. And I'm excited. He's got his Deadpool tank. And I'm also wearing Deadpool socks. Yeah, yeah. And I'm not even wearing this for anything else today. I did this for you.

Oh, that is very sweet. Because, yeah, you straight up, you look like a 13-year-old at Ocean City on the boardwalk. You're like, I got my Deadpool socks. If I were going to an amusement park, this is the outfit I would wear. Legit, I parked my car, and I saw the back of Tommy walking up the block. And in my head, I was like, look at this goofy-ass looking motherfucker. He's like, hi, old man. That's my goofy looking motherfucker.

And then I get out of my car, and he's just on the stoop. You look like a child. You have a backpack on and everything. So I'd like to sell some candy bars to you. Yeah, exactly. My mom's coming to pick me up. Can I wait here? My dad never showed up.

Yeah, Tommy Sambazo, the Laugh Finder podcaster. The juggernaut of D&D podcasts. I know. And we're not even one of the like the top one really yeah is it almost kind of like cheating like to have like a christian rock band you know how like they can't go platinum yeah it's like they have a built-in audience yeah does the dnd people have a bit like it must be if you play dnd like all right i'll subscribe fuck it okay explain laugh finder is like a podcast where you do they play a role-playing game, Pathfinder, right?

Yeah. Well, now it's Starfinder, right? Yeah. Now we're a Paizo-based comedy podcast. What the fuck is Paizo? The company Paizo is the one that makes Laugh Finder and, I mean, Pathfinder. Do they sponsor you? No.

No, because we're filthy. They were actually, we messaged them. We said, hey, we're about to do, they had just launched Starfinder, which is a sci-fi one, which we're playing now. Yeah. We said, hey, we're going to do a Starfinder campaign. And they were like, okay, we'll check out some – never heard from them. Oh, no.

But in an interview – we have a buddy that works for Games Trade Media, and he did an interview with the guy who created Starfinder. Right. And he was like – he said, yeah did a character building episode with uh tommy simbazo of the laugh finder podcast he's like oh yeah that's that comedy uh yeah the comedy podcast cool so they know about us right dope dude well you did have sponsorship uh for headphones but what happened what happened there we had we one of our listeners works for 808 audio yeah and uh those are good headphones right he said hey we would like to send can we send you some stuff and you just mention our headphones and we're like yeah so they sent us seven sets of headphones oh my god this big um bluetooth speaker for dorian

just for just for being our dm dorian doesn't i don't even think he uses it right but uh then we heard from the guy a couple months later that his supervisor, the guy that was like, yes, this is good, do this, got fired. We don't know if it was related. Right. But it doesn't hurt when every time I would bring up, you know, hey, everybody, check out 808audio.com, get their 808 Audio Performance Series with shockwave earcups. That's great, though, for them.

Yeah, but then Jim would be like, they're like having Sandra Bullock's vagina on your ears. And the supervisor's like, God damn it, I'm fired. Fucking Sandra Bullock's vagina got me fired. Is that guys with Sandra Bullock's on the phone? Sandra Bullock's vagina's on the horn. Man. So you think that's what got it?

No. I think it's totally unrelated. But I would like to take credit for ruining that. Also, what a weird celebrity to use. Sandra Bullock. Yeah. Well, Jim pulls from a very specific. That's his era.

She's a good looking woman, man. I would still have sex with her now. Well, that brings us to today's sponsor, Ocean's 8. Yeah. Ladies can pull capers, too, you guys. Is she in that? Yeah, she's the main character. Ocean's 8. They can pull capers capers too, you guys. Is she in that? Yeah, she's the main character. Ocean's 8.

They can pull capers out of their jar and into a fucking salad of broads. There you go. Umar just read the log line for the film. Yeah. Ocean's 8. I've heard that Ocean's 8. Pull some capers out of a jar. Ocean's 8 is the heist movie of celebrity vaginas.

Oh, really? Wow. That's quite the endorsement. I was just on the podcast, so I guess this will be out Monday. Tomorrow, then. Tuesday. Yeah. Very exciting. Look at that. Look at the synergy. You're our second return guest.

Eric Woodworth was our first return guest. Oh, nice. You're our second. We're going to try to have every season. I had a blast, man. I was... It's great, man. Great episode. Oh, episode oh thanks yeah uh dude a couple people came out to my album recording because i was on your podcast that's sick you got their names because i know everyone's name no it's like uh jim meyer and brian preston you know those two guys came out uh but no it was cool i always i was like uh like the pre-show hangs, too.

And I am kind of nervous of what Ben's recording, because he's over there at his little laptop. I'm like, all right, okay, well, what do we got to release here? When I did it, Aaron Hinken did an impression of Diane Rees. NPR slam. Is Aaron still sober? Yeah. When was that picture of you sitting on his lap and him like nuzzling your cheek?

Like him kissing me? Yeah. When was that? That was last summer. Okay. So not even this year? No. Okay.

Well then, yeah, he's still sober. Because the last time I did the picture, when I did your pod, I think that's when he announced his sobriety. Yeah. Oh, right. Because that week before was when he got so drunk he passed out under the table before the episode was over. Dang.

Yeah. Dang. I remember I've been out with him a couple times. When we were at a wedding together, I was like, yo, this dude goes hard. No, you know what? Okay, so he announced his sobriety. That was because he drank like 12 beers in one evening the week before.

After you, when we had Andrewrew unger as a guest that's when he was like you know we got beers and uh he was like i think i'll join you fellas and we're like really you want a beer he's like pass me a cold one and you know and then he got so drunk out of the blocks we're like give me a beer out of that box thank you but he was like he was like andrew let me ask you have you ever considered suicide yeah that's how is that on the pod it's okay so we can talk about it okay because yeah that's how aaron talks it's anything he says just sounds so incredible because yeah i've had yeah exactly yeah he's been being like he was yeah it was that uh friend. She was like, I would love a beer. In fact, I think I need beer every day. And I was like, that sounds great.

What do you say? So he's like, I fucking need beer every day. You're like, what a fucking gross piece of shit. Have you heard of this taint? It's great when, yeah, on the podcast and we get to educate Aaron on something. Like we had to explain to Aaron what docking was. Really? The sexual act of docking.

Yeah. And it included lots of pictures. He knew. He was just like, oh, do tell. And let me get this straight. Docking is when you, when two men. Yeah. They put their penis.

What is docking? It's like when you put your, like. You put your penis. Inside. Into the foreskin. Foreskin of another penis head. Oh, yeah. So let's get into some foreskin talk.

Yeah. We can move on from Laugh Fighter. I did have a great time, but just real quick, I just wanted to mention that we were... It's funny. We talked about the Colin Kaepernick thing for a while. And I was just picturing. I was like, I wonder if you guys have any Republican listeners that love D&D. Like, God, dude, get to throw the dice already.

I always play a cleric who worships Jesus. Throw the 20-sided die already. Quit the politics talk. D&D probably goes all political spectrums, right? Race. Yeah, I mean, it's everybody. Yeah.

I'm in a couple message groups on Facebook for different gaming things, and people are like, pleased to be translating rulebook into Russian. And it's even become my roommate, Evan Donahue. He plays D&D every week with his buddies.

No shit, he has a D&D night? Yeah, and he's like one of the last people I would ever think because he's kind of like this bro dude, you know? But yeah, him and his dudes bro out and play D&D. We talked with Brian Posain about that, who was a guest. You can check out that episode. Who's that? Local guy? But Brian Posain about that. Who was it? Yeah, you can check out that episode. Who's that? Local

guy? But Brian Posain said he was like, yeah, that's why he calls his nerd poker. Because as you get older and it's harder to stay in touch with your friends. You need a night to hang. You have a night, you just drink beer, you pass out under a table, ask Jim's kids about suicide. That is so funny.

Little Leo. Have you ever thought and get you up in the morning and he's like my mom yeah what's cool because like that probably he probably he's hanging out with his friends and because brian posain has like a name he probably makes money doing oh yeah also well they make money but all that money goes to their dm they give all of it to the guy that runs the game because he was having money problems that's cool that's really but like me and my two buddies chris la martina and Nolan Strauss, who are like,

you know, they're like, you know, like they're creative, whatever people, and they're busy. And we were all just, we were trying to plan a pod,

we were thinking of doing a podcast together. And we're like, yeah, we could do this and that. And we're like, oh man, this is turning into a lot of work. And it's a great idea.

And it was just like a way for us to hang out. And then Nolan was just like, hey guys, why don't we just hang out and not fucking do a podcast? I was like, you know what? You're right. I was like, why do we always make work for ourselves? We're like, yeah, dude, we can make this movie or let's just get a drink

once a month. Because that's pretty much what you're trying to do anyway. Exactly. The whole point of us to do a podcast was because we don't hang out enough. Yeah. We were, me, Karen, and some friends have been doing trivia at Autobar on Wednesdays. And it went really well the first time through. And there's a season, and the season ended, and we did well.

And now this second season, people aren't showing up and stuff. And it's like, this sucks. You're getting everything wrong. And I'm like, can we just get beer next time? And I don't have to answer trivia questions and shit like i don't i don't like trivia i don't like the only time i ever went i used my phone for every question and because i didn't know it was faux pas i really i was just like so you thought you just thought it was who could google quicker yeah i thought i was a genius i was like these idiots man i would love to see Tommy on Jeopardy.

He's like, hold on, hold on. One sec. What's the password for your Wi-Fi? It's a wheel of fortune is gay. Oh, man. Well, yeah. Speaking of ABC. Speaking of foreskins so let's uh let's circle maybe seen speaking of foreskins let's talk about

uh so uh you told me about this a little bit i don't think you know but uh eric uh jock how do you say jocular jocular eric jocular of uh big time in comedy he has been uh stretching his foreskin out restoring his force restoring like it an old rehab. How do you restore it? It's going to be on HGTV. Is he one of these people who had his foreskin removed? He was circumcised. But he's not doing it because he was like, how dare they besmirch my penis? It's more like

he was having painful... The skin was so tight when he would have erections in the middle of the night that would wake him up. His circumcision. Do you know what a circumcision is yeah i'm circumcised yeah yeah yeah but he's circumcised but how is he getting his foreskin back well so basically it looks like a cone here's the fun part that you put on the tip of your dick right he bought a device off of etsy yeah it's it's not like off etsy for Off Etsy for real? Yeah. Some dude built it.

Right. In his mom's basement. Oh my God. Yeah. It's not like a doctor was like. Yeah, there's sparks going everywhere. He's got the welder's mask on. The world needs this.

Wait, so his uncircumcised penis skin is too tight? Yeah. I've never heard of that. I've never heard of it either. Yeah. It usually goes the other way. It sounds like he's bragging about his dick. He's like, oh, my boners hurt. They're so big.

Oh, my skin doesn't stretch. Has he been to a doctor? No, he didn't consult. He's like kind of a conservative dude, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, conservative dudes are really like, they focus on their penis a lot. They want that foreskin back. It's really weird. What did your wife say when you asked her? He's like, they focus on their penis a lot. They want that foreskin back.

It's really weird. What did your wife say when you asked her? He's like, oh, I didn't ask her. Yeah, like, you got to consult her. Dude, go to a doctor. But it's this device that he wears for five to six hours a day. And it's like a cone that you put on the tip of your dick. Then you roll your foreskin up onto the cone.

Then there's a thing that clamps. And it pulls it like slowly over the day. You're not getting foreskin up onto the cone, then there's a thing that clamps. And it pulls it slowly over the day. You're not getting foreskin back. You're just stretching out. You're stretching your skin. You can medically get foreskin back if you get surgery. Where's this donor skin?

People do it. A cadaver, I guess? That would be a great movie that Juan Martina could make. This guy gets the foreskin of a serial killer. Yeah. Yeah, he gets boners

at the sight of murder. He's like, oh no. It's fucking women to death. Chris, if you're listening, I want partial producer credit. It's almost every movie of his anyway. Just women being...

I think he got criticized for that. I think a lot of people in the B-side horror film world get criticized like, Misogyny. Yeah, these movies are misogynist. It's just,

they like, you know, you put hot girls in them, they get murdered, they're always naked. That's always the trope of it too. It's not like Paul Martina invented it. No, no, no.

It's not just him, but every like one. Gotcha. That whole genre. The genre gets shit for it. Is it okay to say that I've never, those are the films I look for. i don't want to watch a poor production uh horror movie with no nudity yeah for sure well that's a part of it right yeah the thing with horror like you're definitely

gonna see boobs yep yeah yeah yeah dude i watched speaking of movies i watched a movie that i didn't even realize how fucking good it was when we were young. It's called Pornography? You guys heard of this type of film? No. You heard this? Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. Oh, yeah.

I watched it the other day. Holy shit. You need to revisit this movie. I actually bought it from Blockbuster. Really? They were doing a thing. You remember how they would sell the DVDs that were in rotation for a while? I think it was like five for 20 bucks.

Yeah. Rob Corddry is hilarious in that movie. he's so good all the movie yeah when he grabs the guy's badge he's like what's your name dr dickhead but dude the movie would this movie would never oh yeah doesn't he do a grape soda bit they do a great soda bit with black people they do they put they pour out they're like interrogating these two jews they pour coin like pennies out in front of them like to like hit them like you know like oh why are you wasting money they were talking to his parents like so you know the japanese parent asian parents and then the uh the indian parents like he was just being they're being hella racist so they had uh what's the other the other... Fuck, he was on The Office for a little bit.

He was on The Daily Show. Oh, Steve Carell? No, other guy. Oh, I know who you're talking about. Yeah, he was in The Hangover. He was also in the new national... Ed Helms. Ed Helms.

Ed Helms. He was... So there was an amazing scene where Rob Corddry is using, he's an interpreter and he's speaking in Japanese to the Asian parents and they speak in English. It was just like so funny,

so racist, amazing. Yeah. Like this movie was, it's unreal how funny it is. I know exactly what brought about the thought of this movie. What? Because we were talking about

Regrow on Your Foreskin and there's that cock meat sandwich. Yes. Oh, cock meat sandwich yes okay yeah there's like a whole thing with terrorists like sucking dick and it is so fucking funny yeah i miss movies like that yeah they're just way over the top way over the top um well speaking going over the top uh eric's foreskin would go over top of this cone. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. That's my coffee.

So, yeah. First of all, fucking with my dick at all terrifies me. I would just put a cone on that would just drag the skin down. I'd be so worried about that I'd fuck up my dick forever. If you're stretching it, why not just stretch it just enough so it doesn't hurt anymore? But he's gone. Now he's been wearing it for a year and a half. And there's different levels of coverage.

Have you seen his dick? Yeah, he showed us. What's it look like? It looks like you took a loaf of bread. Have you seen it, Josh? No. He had a very good description of it. A loaf of bread dough that you stuffed your fist in.

Yeah, like an old thing of dough. Or if you're rolling your sock down over itself to get it off. Yeah, that's what Tommy said. It didn't look like foreskin. It was way too thick. Like an anus on the end of his dick. Like his anus is an outie. But even if he had the foreskin still,

his reasoning doesn't make sense because it's not like you – the foreskin is like on – it's like a layer that was kind of on top of your dick, right? Yeah, but it's a very thin skin. Almost like ball sack skin. Right, exactly. That goes over your dick. Yeah.

But that dick skin... This is... But that dick... He would still have the same amount of dick skin under it. Yeah, that's what we were saying too. It doesn't solve his... Whatever his... No, no. It's stretching the skin saying too it's it doesn't solve his whatever his no no

it's it's stretching the skin so now when it gets taught there's more there to go uh yeah still he should have talked to a doctor still weird fucking weird i love they didn't ask his wife i think it's like surprise she's like what the fuck so when he gets hard when he so when he gets hard now it's like fine yeah now yeah now well now the different levels of coverage when he gets hard now, it's like fine. Yeah. Well, now the different levels of coverage, when he gets hard, there's still partial coverage. And he's probably going to do it for another six months and try to get full. That's so gross. Just go to a doctor.

Well, now, I mean, that's like you can't come back from that. You can cut it off. But that's actually the skinnier dick. No. Honey, give me the scissors. None of your business. I bought another device. Is he like alt-right conservative?

I wouldn't say alt-right, but he is very. He would say, I'm a libertarian. No, no, no. They actually make fun. Well, maybe. Libertarians are like, ugh. Yeah. What would he say? It'm a libertarian. No, no, no. They actually make fun. Well, maybe. Libertarians are like, ugh. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

What would he say? It's a bit much. I think he's not upset with our choice of president. Yeah. I don't think so either. Yeah. That's fine. I don't give a shit.

Yeah. Yeah. Still terrifying. That is a weird thing, too, that it has become like a rallying cry of the all right. I feel like it's such a dude thing, too, to be like, yeah, coming feels good, but it could feel better. All right. Well, I like the way my dick looks now.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm used to it. I can actually tell when someone draws a dick, you can tell if they're from Europe or America because we make a mushroom and they make a rocket ship. I didn't even know that. Yeah. It makes sense. But yeah, it's it. But it's also they're like well you know you have any nerve endings you have down there it's like again all right sex feels pretty good all right yeah like i've never been like i

need to be more sensitive yeah really exactly more nerve endings fuck that yeah horrible i would come just by pulling back my force oops sorry just getting used to it usually what happens with foreskin is uh um it'll like stretch and scar so it'll scar when it stretches and then it gets tighter and tighter yeah a lot of times adults like as adults you have to get your foreskin removed because it won't come out stav's dick is fucked up yeah it was. Yeah, it's a very common problem. Yeah, Stav has to wear a thing to, like, basically, it's like a spacer in between, like, his dick and the foreskin or something like that.

He should just get his foreskin removed. It's like, yeah, because what he was talking about, what Umar was talking about, where it's like the tip of his head, I don't think could come out, really. So he had to wear, like, a thing to, like, push it back, essentially. It's like, it'll'll like, you know, it'll tear and scar and when you scar

it gets smaller and shit. And then, so it's harder for your dick to come out and like when you get hard it's painful. What was he doing with his dick

that it got all scarred up? That's just what happens with foreskin. It's just a very common problem. He's just dangling in front of kids. Yeah, I don't know. I pet my cat's belly with it.

Those Comptown fans. Come here, kitty. Come here, kitty. Those pussies are like... I still don't stop. I watch his Twitch stream every now and then. Do you?

And he just... His chat window, he was using a new mouse and reset all these things up, and then his chat window crashed. So he's on there, and he's like, you fucking stupid cunt

just yelling at at the people like the fans he's like i can't see your dumb ass fucking ugly comments right now and they're like love love yeah that's great that's great yeah we're pieces of shit yeah he put he posted something he posted something yeah go off king he posted something on instagram where he was like basically naked but had a like xbox controller and he's like i'll be on twitch no i can't be naked i already looked into it i was like umar how close is stav becoming like a cam girl essentially just like playing video games like all right i'll take my shirt off it'll cost you like love love love okay yeah sure it's crazy man like uh yeah uh there's so many like every time he posts one of those pics i'm like like, oh, it's so weird.

It's just like, because it gets like, at least he'll get like a thousand some likes. Sure, yeah. In the picture, and it's just like, oh. He doesn't have back knee. He's not like overly hairy. Yeah, he's a smooth little bald boy. Just when you think in terms of career longevity, I feel like you're painting yourself into a corner i think that's one where it starts being fun and goes into the side show type thing because now

he's this naked old guy you know and all these kicks he's like it's easter yeah right it's greek easter i'm naked you want to see my dick in an easter basket like like like like like oh man do you guys want to get into that i want to talk about the roseanne thing okay okay because i think it's weird that umar wants to bring the show back you don't think she said anything wrong right no dude what the fuck i mean no i'm just kidding have you seen her no well i had an interesting conversation with my buddy natasha she's from russia and she was saying that like uh only in the u.s she's like vote trump yeah i know she's very liberal but she's saying only a like in the u.s a person would

get fired and i get it like for you know for that for making like a statement on twitter like that but and i get it we have a history it was like i think she should be fired but well if you look back at her tweets i mean that's like the least... Yes, she has years and years of this shit. I mean, she fucking posed as... Hitler? Adolf Hitler. I remember, and had cookies.

Had burnt Jewish cookies that looked like... Is she Jewish? I think she is. I think her mom is. But that's what she said, too. She's like, I get a pass. It's like, well, why are you doing this? That doesn't...

She had the mustache and the armband and everything. And then, yeah, she's like i get a pass it's like well why are you doing this that doesn't like she had like the mustache and the armband and everything and then yeah it's like wow she said something racist who saw that coming like look at him like well she's clearly said the end yeah sure sure oh yeah yeah sure but and i posted this on facebook and i deleted it because uh i think people started arguing the wrong point. What did you post? Because I agreed with everything you said. So I posted. Yeah, what did you post?

I posted it's going to be fun watching liberals have to do mental gymnastics to defend Samantha Bee if she gets fired. Because, you know, the argument that is being made about roseanne is is is like yes like uh she you know it's a rate she made a racially charged joke and it was very mean yeah some people think it wasn't a joke i think she was clearly making a joke yeah it was in poor taste but it followed a series of rants yeah i was gonna say barely a joke like i think it was a joke the structure was there it was like a rose show a joke like i think it was a joke the structure was there it was like a rose show kind of like i think it was a joke i think it was in poor taste

it made me laugh i'm not gonna lie it fucking made me laugh i think it's disgusting but it made me laugh i don't think she should have said it but it made me laugh and um and i think she should be fine it's a gross thing to say yeah i didn't think it was funny i just thought it was like i thought it was pretty basic too just like it was like, I thought it was pretty basic, too. Just like, just playing. Here's the thing. I think it was out of context. If she had said that joke, like, let's say for some reason that woman was part of a dais on a roast and she said that joke, it would be fine.

Because it has a structure of a joke and it's, you know, whatever. Context is important, though. Exactly. So that's what I'm, the point is, is, like, she said it out of context. Yeah. I would be great if that's the new defense. It's like, well, what if we are at a roast? And I called him the N-word.

No, but that's the thing. Context is so important, right? Right. It's so important. Yeah. And when you are tweeting in the middle of the night and you're following all these other gross weird fucking tweets yeah and then you tweet something about a black woman looking like an ape like yeah well and she was responding to

people too so it wasn't just like out of nowhere she said right i don't even know why she attacked her because i don't even know who this woman was oh oh yeah no she was in the obama administration but do you know why yeah what did she do that made i don't know what she did recently peeper uh peeper people don't like her because um she i think she was in the department of just i'm speaking out of my ass here a little bit but uh make it up yeah right she is uh an alien and uh yeah so people don't like that. But yeah, that was okay to compare aliens. Yeah. But I think she had something to do.

They blame her for the Hillary stuff, like part of like a cover up with the email thing. Like she helped Hillary cover it up. That's what they allege. I mean, there's no there's no proof to that. But it was also like one of Obama's closest advisors. Yeah. But then like two days ago or whatever, Samantha Bee called Ivanka Trump a feckless cunt, which was on her comedy show, whatever.

And I understand it's way different. It's a woman calling a woman a cunt, but it's very mean. Yeah, but our relationship with the word cunt here is crazy. But you can't make that argument because we are here, right? Yeah, it's very mean. Yeah, but our relationship with the word cunt here is crazy. But you can't make that argument because we are here, right? Yeah, it's true. So here's the thing. So now you have someone who just for no reason at all called another woman a cunt just because she posted a picture of her son. and it's like well how dare you post that the same day it was reported that over 1500 refugee children or immigrant children uh went missing under your dad's watch but it's like i don't know

maybe she just wanted to post a picture of her fucking kid and her and it had nothing to do with that and now you're just calling her a feckless cunt like she's accountable for everything her father does she should be she works for him she works for him. She works for him. She seems like the one if we could get at her heartstrings. But here's the thing. I don't think she's so brainwashed. I don't think she's brainwashed. I don't think she gives a shit.

Are you calling her a feckless cunt, Josh? Well, I wouldn't say feckless. Yeah. I don't even know what feckless meant. I had to look it up. I think she has so much feck, that fucking cunt. Here's the thing. If Samantha Bee gets fired, if she gets fired,

she's going to get fired for the same reason that Roseanne did, is because her employer can say, like, this isn't the conduct we expect of our employees. And liberals can't. You cannot argue it. ABC is owned by Disney. Yeah. And Disney's like, ooh.

Yeah. Yeah. Disney hates that. And the NFL is on ABC, right? No. But that's. Well, Monday Night Football. Monday Night Football.

But the point is. I think it's on ESPN, actually. Conservatives with the NFL are like, they're a private business. They can do what we want. And we're like, fuck that. The NFL should allow players to kneel on the field, which I agree with. But I also agree they're a private business. If they don't want their players to do that, whatever.

It's a shitty policy. Well, it's also a First Amendment right, though. It's a private business, right? It's a first amendment right though like you're it's a private business it's a first amendment right like for the white house to call for uh samantha b to be fired that crosses into first amendment because it's the government saying you can't the government's trying to limit cool yeah limit your rights if the employer on its own said you know what like this is not what we want our company you can't you can only go so far with that too. You can be like, it's company policy not to hire black people. That's our company. We're a private

company, so you can't do that. So it's not a black and white thing. The players weren't on the field until 2009 because then the government came to them and said, hey, we'll give you money if you bring it out to help make the team seem more

patriotic and to boost military enrollment. Okay. So now the players are being forced. They weren't doing it. Government gave them money. Now they're being forced out there and forced to stand for a song, which if you look, I did some research, but the song itself, the national anthem,

was written while we still had slaves. Oh, they took a whole paragraph out of it. A whole verse. A whole verse about slaves. About slaves. Yeah, they had to take out. It's bullshit. I think it's bullshit.

The National Anthem, too, the melody is also an old European drinking song, too. So it's like it's this beautiful song. It's what drunk dudes sang at a pub in Europe. It's something that a prisoner wrote. Yeah, and then they're like, you know, this is a great song, but should we add a part about slaves? It's what drunk dudes sang at a pub in Europe. It's something that a prisoner wrote. Yeah. And then they're like, you know, this is a great song, but should we add a part about slaves? And then the whole country will sing it.

They're like, yeah, yeah. I like that. I guess my thing is if we don't want... It's a weird position to take as a progressive or a liberal or whatever to say that I do think think the nfl is wrong for what they're doing uh i think but then i think abc is right for firing roseanne i don't know why it just feels right yeah but then if samantha b gets fired i think i have to just be like yeah that's their right to fire her i would would agree with you. To be consistent.

Until the White House said that she should be fired. Yes. And so now if you're being pressured by the White House, that's a fucking scary world to live in. Yeah. I agree. Oh, my God. Could you imagine the president condemning you? Her ratings are going to... Trump is so dumb.

If he probably didn't speak about it, they might have fired her. That's the same thing that happened with the NFL, too. All the kneeling was kind of waning, pretty much, and it was getting less and less attention. He's like, hey, remember that bullshit? That sucks. And everybody's like, well, fuck you.

We're going to do it even more now. But he's so smart because he knows... Is he? No, he's smart to do that because he knows that his constituents are going to be like, fuck yeah, what the fuck? And then they're going to get angry. It's just another point to divide us.

Exactly. And it's a point for him to rally his base. Yeah, fucking base of idiots. Yeah. You guys don't have a big conservative following. Oh, we really do. Oh, you're going to get the lap finder bump. We are super conservative.

I got into an argument recently. He's like, just throw bump. We are super concerned. I got into an argument recently. He's like, just throw the dice already. Dude, I got into an argument recently. And I was talking to my buddy, Chris Allen, who's a black. You have to put something behind it. Nope, we're going to pause it right there. He's a black. We're going to switch out the batteries.

That's what you call a cliffhanger in the biz. Yeah, just got to put new batteries. They're just old batteries, baby. It's all right. I just bought these. switch out the batteries that's what you call a cliffhanger in the biz he's yeah i just gotta put new bad they're just old batteries babies all right i just bought these settle down everybody i have it on there's a mode can you guys calm down i'm gonna switch the batteries out these are the two from last week two weeks ago all right now i'm gonna put in two fresh ones last forever gee well you know umar bought the right ones. So that's why our sponsor is CVS. I'm Edward R. Murrow. And that's why Chris Allen will never be invited back to my house.

And we're back. So wait, what did Chris Allen say? Well, Chris Allen, you know, he's in the military. He's a black. And that's it. I totally forgot what we were talking about. Roseanne. Kneeling.

Kneeling. We're having a conversation with Chris Allen, who is a black man in the military. And his stance on kneeling about the troops is... I honestly don't remember what I was going to say. Damn. No no we're talking

about like conservatives facebook and uh and i was talking to chris like i didn't know how many like um conservatives i grew up around like because i grew up in baltimore county which is very liberal ken island when i go back there it's like a whole different world. It's very conservative. And I recently got into an argument on Facebook with this. There's this really nice, I mean, they're really nice people. This nice couple. They never had kids, but they. How many dogs do they have?

They did have a dog. They always have at least one dog, I think. And they're great people. I mean, they used to let us come over to their house and watch WrestleMania because he was like a big wrestling fan and stuff. And that was your tell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I guess the woman had a friend of me on Facebook and she's very conservative and

she would like get angry at some of the stuff I posted and we would go back and forth. And I always thought it was a joke. And then recently I posted, I mean, it was like, I guess like a shitty thing if you're conservative, but she posted something on Memorial Day where it's like, this is why you stand for the flag or stand for the anthem and don't disrespect the flag. And it's just like pictures of like a soldier in a casket, a soldier in a wheelchair. And it's like, this is goes like, you know, it's not about being black, white, Asian, like we're all American. And then I posted something. You said, shut up, you feckless cunt. Yeah, you're being a real cunt.

Try to cancel my Facebook, bitch. Well, and I just posted, I was like, you know, race does matter because when World War II, when black soldiers who fought in World War II came back, they were still second-class citizens. They were treated like shit. They were also segregated within the military, too. Did she see glory?

No. And then I was like, and the First Amendment gives me the right to say whatever the fuck I want and do whatever the fuck I want during the anthem and step on the flag if I want. Yeah. And then, which is obviously a very charged... Yeah, you threw in that. That's flag-stepping. Even I was like I want. Yeah. And then, you know, which is obviously a very charged.

Yeah, you threw that. That's flag stepping. Even I was like, oh. Yeah, Omar, a little. Yeah, but you can. A little. You should be able to. You're allowed to do that in this.

You're allowed to burn the flag. Report this content. You're allowed to step on the flag. Actually, that's how you're supposed to dispose of the flag, is by burning it. Yeah. Well, you step on it, you spit on it, then you set it on fire, right?

That's okay. You wipe your ass with it. Yeah, yeah. Right. Anyway, you step on it, you spit on it, then you set it on fire, right? And you wipe your ass with it. Anyway, got into this argument. Her husband. That led to an argument? I know, right? But then we all apologized. It was great.

But see Brad Hudson. Yeah. He posted something like that. And then we went back and forth. I ended up blocking him. I blocked him a long time ago. Well, he removed the whole conversation. And then I posted, have you seen that meme where it's the picture of the book cover?

And it says how and when it's appropriate for black people to protest by whitey McSports face. Is T-Bred conservative? No. When it comes to kneeling, he is. Slant on that. I mean, wow. Yeah, and I brought it up on your podcast. conservative no but when it comes to kneeling he is slaying on that i mean wow well yeah and i i brought up on your podcast the whole reason that um colin kaepernick started kneeling was because a veteran asked him to do it wow he was sitting it out like so he would just sit on the bench and

a veteran got a hold of him and was like hey why why do you do that and then of course he explained that you know he's protesting basically like uh police violence and how african americans are treated in this country and explained it to him he's like all right well if you want to protest can you at least take a knee and do it because that's what we do in the military if we go to see um like a gravesite or something like that out of respect we'll kneel so colin kaepernick kneels because a veteran asked him to yeah and the but like nobody pays attention like it's so disrespectful to our military and he doesn't kneel general zod and he doesn't kneel because he hates the military and he hates america yeah it's so cool but you can't convince people right and why and then so chris allen was like dude you know he was like he was like out of respect for

that person you need to like you need to either unfollow or unfriend that person. I have a few people blocked that where it's like whatever you post, it was turning into something. I posted something about Trump once, and it was one of those things where you have 150 comments just going back and forth. I remember, yeah. Nobody's changing anybody's mind. No one was like, huh, my whole paradigm shifted because I was on Facebook. Exactly, exactly. I have one friend that is conservative, and he was in the military from Kent Island.

And we had like a back and forth on the side, and that was actually really good. He was like, no, I appreciate your point. And like he voted for Trump. And I don't know, in a vacuum, somebody that voted for Trump, like fuck that person. But then when it's like you have friends that voted for it, it's like, this is a little... Yeah, at work, my office is maybe like 98% conservatives. Wow.

What do you do? I'm a CAD designer in an engineering firm. I'm an accountant for the KKK. I mean... I'm in the crossburn. Yeah. I work in the front office, so I don't share their politics, but it is a job. I just do share their politics, but it is a job.

Yeah, it is a job. By the way, I always think this is a fucking CD player, but it's a bread rice maker. For some reason, Eric just and I think this drives Evan nuts that Eric just leaves this here. He's like, he's like, what's this get used like twice a year? Yeah, what is it? A bread maker? It's a rice maker. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah, because I was like, what kind of CD player has a cooking and reheat mix? I would not eat rice out of it. Also, just who the fuck has CD players in their home? Yeah, I know. That's why I was like, what the fuck? Cooking reheat? When you go to someone's home,

they still have just a fuck, like a shelf of DVD, like a whole bookcase of DVDs. It's like, dude, upgrade your fucking life yeah i feel like that is embarrassing like look at my rack of blu-rays like you know how expensive those are like vhs tapes oh you're a serial killer yeah yeah what are you doing obviously have women peeing in bathrooms yeah like i remember like so many of my friends homes like he's like don't touch that scrubs vhs it's scrubs i swear on on either side of their tv would just be like bookshelves that go up to the ceiling and just all vhs and then eventually dvds

it's just like god i really hope they got rid of those now yeah think about how much space we save now because of the ad like the the cloud the cloud yeah the advent cloud yeah i'm into that shit me too dude yeah i love i fucking hate clutter i don't use i cloud advent of iCloud. Yeah. I'm into that shit. Me too, dude. I love it. I fucking hate clutter. I don't use iCloud, though. I do. I'm into streaming, you know? Well, iCloud's been great for my... I had to get a new phone, so that was easy just to have all your shit just be transferred

over that way. I don't know. I'm just weird about it. Don't trust it? Yeah, I don't know. There's probably pictures of my dick in the cloud, but that's all right. Or is that whole movie Sex Tape? Yeah.

Where they're... Oh, they share their cloud. They made a sex tape to spice up their marriage they're... Oh, they share their cloud. They made a sex tape to spice up their marriage, and it accidentally got uploaded to the cloud. Oh, yeah. Was that good? It was all right.

Who was in this? Seth Rogen. And I forget who the love interest was. Cameron Diaz? Might be Cameron Diaz. Now he's in two movies about... Because he was in a movie... Wasn't he in a movie where they make a porno?

I thought that was Jason Segel. Yeah, yeah. Zack and Mary make a porno. And he was Zack, right? Yeah. That's so interesting. I mean, hey, write about what you love. You know?

You know, write about what you know. Hey. You know? Hey. Did you guys, did you see Sausage Party? Yeah. Was that good? No, not really.

Yeah. We watched it on Mushrooms, and even that couldn't save it. Damn. We're like, but they're hot dogs they're not sausage why is it called sausage party that's so it's like they started with the title is a type of sausage right is it yeah i think hot dog falls under the sausage category really i feel an unfriending and blocking uh-oh how many people have you unfriend i've i've i've just started unfriending left and right now scroll yeah have to scroll. Yeah, I don't unfollow. I unfriend.

It feels so good. I block. Yeah, anyone who leaves just like a really shitty comment on anything I post, gone. Yeah, if I don't want to deal with it. Because you don't need that in your life. And people are like, well, that's not good because you need to keep other points. It's like, dude, I don't need some cunt and a guy or a girl to just like write something like shitty on something i post like every fucking time just so that i can look at and go i don't think that yeah that's crazy

and then sometimes when i see posts that i like put i'm like oh what a like uh annoying thing i just started unfriending that person too like when they you know people are like show me pictures of your dog i had a bad day it's like dude go to therapy yeah that shit just oh makes me that i don't know so many pictures of my dog of course i'm gonna get so many likes no problem uh yeah i hate that shit i hate when people go like restaurant recommendations boston go it's like i don't fucking work for you yeah go the ones i don't trust are the ones like hey hey, no cheating. Post the 13th picture in your gallery. I'm like, get away from me, Satan. You're not catching me.

Facebook has turned into the weirdest fucking place. It used to just be like you post pictures at parties that you were at. Pretty much. In college, that's all it was. In college, that's all it was. And then it turned into like. Facebook, yeah, it was like a photo depository, essentially it's like i'm just gonna empty my digital camera and we would never you yeah there was no editing yeah all 168 pictures no filters friday night

it's like the worst pictures and it's just all pictures you just standing around in like a shitty room around the tape beer pong table yeah eyes all right yeah yeah now it's just this thing that just like where people fight for no reason yeah like people like they ask for fight like people like will post stuff and like it's probably because we follow like stupid fucking comics who like have nothing to do right just like someone or like i literally saw someone make a post like someone argue with me about this just It's just like, dude, go fuck yourself. Why don't you go write a joke? What's wrong with your life?

You know, so you can get out of Zizimos. Hey. Hey. We sponsor Zizimos. Stellar Room every Friday. Get out of Facebook and into Zizimos. Hey. Just kidding, guys.

Great. You saved it there Great venue For comedy JK If you love I said JK If you love walking past racists

To go do an open mic That's your place to be Hell yeah How dare you not be wrong Comedy There's so much love in the scene So much Can i can i bring up something yeah so we went i i'm buying a home yeah oh i wanted to get into this yes and we uh we had to go to a first-time buyer program a first-time buyer workshop i did that yeah but you did yours online yeah we had to

because we're buying in baltimore county all right the rules are different six hours required course and then uh then after that you take a one-on-one yep so it's a six-hour course they hand us the packet uh lou and i are sitting there's maybe 25 people and uh they start getting into and they're like what are the disadvantages of buying a home and they went around the room someone's like uh maintenance so it's like oh you have to mow your own lawn. And then this one woman was like, ghosts? And the woman was like, yes, ghosts. And then they talked about ghosts for a half hour.

She said yes, ghosts. By the little accent you put on ghosts when you said it. Well, we were in the mind already. Well, I was going to say, Jewish people are very afraid of ghosts. This was a Jewish woman.

Oh, Bubby, ghosts. Boy, they. I was like, what a spot on Jewish impression, Tommy. I mean, it was on Reister's talent. So what did people say about ghosts? People were like, when my mother died,

I saw her at the foot of my bed. Everybody kept going around. So after like 20 minutes, I raised my hand. 20 minutes. Yeah yeah and i wrote in my book ghosts and i circled god chris martino would have loved to be there yeah so i raised my hand and uh i was like well what if the ghost is friendly and they laughed at me they're like no such thing as a friendly ghost so why 20 minutes? Like, what did the instructor say?

That was her. That was her leading this conversation about ghosts for 20 minutes. And so did she have stories, too? She's like, you're going to buy a house. There are going to be ghosts. That's a given. You have to ask if someone has died in the property. Because nobody wants to live where somebody died.

I'm like, I don't give a fuck. I wouldn't give a fuck. Dude, if it brings a property value down, I'll look at homes only where people'm like, I don't give a fuck. I wouldn't give a fuck. Dude, if it brings a property value down, I'll look at homes only where people were murdered. I don't give a fuck. In some homes, one woman was like, I just moved from up north down here. And why do you guys have cemeteries so close to houses?

Yeah. We do. We really do. When I was looking for a house, they had a house listed in Hamden. It was completely renovated. I think it's three stories. And the third story is basically just like uh like a patio and a bar it looks beautiful and i was like damn why has this been on the market for so long and then you

look right next to it massive cemetery like on hickory yeah yeah you know what that is parking future parking get these stones out of the way start a softball league where did we park over by a loving husband is that where the car was um that's awesome i love that ghost uh did you guys watch nathan for you no i have oh yes yeah great there was an episode so he was trying to help out this uh woman who's a realtor and uh he was trying to help he was actually trying to help yeah he was trying to help that's that's the show he helps people he helps businesses but uh yeah she uh he's like you need you need an angle something that sets you apart and you are the ghost realtor so you can assure people that their house is ghost free oh it's one of my favorite episodes like this little like five foot lady with like this little

like bob of red hair and she's completely into it and uh they get somebody to come in and like say that there's ghosts or no ghosts it's like this big fat new orleans guy's like oh yeah that's in here i'll tell you you know and uh they're in a bedroom and uh he's like god oh heavy presence in here heavy heavy presence she's like oh man i i i had an interaction with a ghost once and nathan's like what because you know he's doing a bit but she's into it and he's like what it's like yeah uh a ghost chokes me in sweden i remember that he's like i'm sorry she's like yeah i woke up and a ghost is joking me in my hotel room in sweden i cannot believe they left that in how do you wake up not being able to breathe you're like

she probably was having a night terror yeah i've had a bunch where i thought someone was holding me down really it feels so you have been choked by ghost so fucking real it feels it feels so real and apparently what it is is uh i bet no spirit no ridiculous you put my pants back on spirit yeah and you're done spirit oh man that's great yeah and then uh god you have to watch it then they bring a guy over to do like an exorcism on the house and he does it to her as well he's like you get out demon get out she starts crying she's like i'm sorry okay i wish i believed in stuff like that yeah oh and she had to tell uh she had to tell prospective buyers that they did find a ghost in the house so they had people come

in for an open house and she's like just want to you know, we did find a succubus in the bedroom. And this woman, she's like, what's this succubus? She goes, that's a ghost that will have sex with you to death. She's like, okay. I'm going to go. Gosh. I wrote it down. To death.

There's worse ways to go, huh? Absolutely. God damn, that's so funny yeah i love that show but now lou when we go she's definitely because lou's super scared of ghosts and really now we i know she's gonna ask the realtor like are there any ghosts anyone die here god yeah that wouldn't bother me at all like i wouldn't be able to live like and uh where did uh where did uh charles manson murder all those people yeah i guess that would be different oh yeah no where you know that like six people were murdered in the kitchen i'd be like that's probably bad it's probably bad man stretched his foreskin to death some say his foreskin coverage some say his foreskin still

in the house today i woke up in the middle of the night and his foreskin was choking. It was so big. He wore the cone for years. Oh, my God. That's so fucking funny. I mean, murder, yeah, maybe. But if someone died in a house, I don't think it would bother me. Yeah.

My grandfather died in... People have died in all these homes. These homes are so old. Oh, dude, my house was built in, like, 1901. Yeah, multiple people have died in your house. It was prompted by so old. Oh, dude, my house was built in like 1901. Yeah, multiple people have died in your home. It was probably on the Underground Railroad. Oh, I hope so. I hope so, yeah.

Yeah, it probably was. My house was probably a hero. The person that lived there was probably a really good person. Really good person. I'm sure they were racist. Yeah, they were like a racist construction worker or something. Just like, I need to go get a house. Get away from all these ghosts.

No, but my grandfather died in the house that my grandmother ended up, you know, that she ended up dying. Yeah. But she had done a reverse mortgage. So when she died, the bank took the house and this guy bought the house. Uh-huh. And it was one of my cousins or my nephew might have driven over there and knocked on the door uh-huh and asked them was like hey you know my you know we used to live here my great-grandmother lived here why don't we walk around i was like who died in this house and he'd be like oh my great-grandfather died uh in the

living room he's like yeah he's been haunting this house whoa my grandfather's ghost is in that house what's what's he what's he mad about i don't know maybe you know let's do a bonus episode don't let tommy wear a deadpool tank top whatever you do who is tommy tell him to stop masturbating on that giant cushion in umar's living room um yeah uh yeah i've had some ghost experiences and then uh yeah i know some people that have to that have had no let's just wrap it up there just to you no um i think i've talked about on the uh the podcast before but it was in um it was in frostburg when i was like i don't know like or something, my cousin was going to Frostburg and she was staying in an apartment building and me and my aunt went up there to help her move.

She was moving to a different apartment within the same building and the apartment she was moving into. It's just like a long hallway like you walked in and then you could either go left or right and then it was just like rooms all along bedroom towards the left and the kitchen was towards the right. So we're like moving stuff and there are a bunch of like crates everywhere and then it was just like rooms all along bedroom towards the left and the kitchen was towards the right um so we were like moving stuff and there were a bunch of like crates everywhere and then it was me and sophie in the apartment and i was in the front bedroom and uh i was just uh it was like sitting on the floor looking like a magazine or something and all of a sudden a crate just goes just right in front of the doorway, just like lands there.

And I was like, holy shit. Wait, what? So it's just like a milk crate with books in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I thought Sophie was just like moving stuff and just like threw it down the hallway. And I was like, so Jesus Christ, what was that? And she goes, huh, I'm in the bathroom. And I was like, oh, my God.

So it was just you two? Yeah, it was just. You don't think it fell from anywhere from anywhere no because i saw it was in the middle of the hallway and then it just was like boom right in front of the doorway yeah oh my god so i told her about it and she's like oh yeah this building's haunted and i was like what and she had super haunted yeah yeah i was like oh see i yeah every noise i heard that night i was terrified of any like pipe or like anything that like came on i was like rattle and See, I. Yeah, every noise I heard that night, I was terrified of any, like, pipe or, like, anything that, like, came on. You know when pipes rattle and go, I'm not going to kill you. That's just the pipe settling.

I think. Oh, man. The walls will say get out in blood. That's okay. Now, when I was a kid, my great, my grandfather died three months before I was born. Uh-huh. And they said for that in that time they would see he every night before you go to bed he would wind this uh this clock and uh people would be

walking down the hallway now the corner of their eye in this room see someone winding the clock and look again there's nothing there jesus but when i was a little baby my parents would put me in my crib upstairs and they had a um my music box play uh chariots of fire and those little tongs like ding ding ding ding so um and there was more than one occasion my parents said that uh my music box would stop and they would hear me start to get fussy and start to wake up and by the time they hit the bottom step to go upstairs it would start ding ding ding ding nice and when i got to the age where i could walk and talk uh one time i got up uh in the living room was starting to go upstairs

and like where are you going and i was like i'm gonna go talk to poppy and i could and there was another time there's a picture of him on the stairwell my mom was carrying me past the picture and i pointed and was like that's poppy whoa yeah dang my dead grandfather was my babysitter it sounds like this picture you with like a juice box so i gotta go holler at the homie i've never experienced anything like supernatural yeah it was it was uh pretty pretty spooky really yeah i've yeah i had a professor in college who studied like he was a philosophy dude but he also studied like he wrote a whole book on it and uh he said um i mean i think this dude did a lot of drugs in the 60s sure and he said what made him get into it was he was at a party and this guy uh made a table like levitate and

i was like really yeah like i don't know. That seems drug-related. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Or, like, Ouija boards. Adults are still into Ouija boards. Yeah, like, moving it around. We have one, but we won't let me use it in the house. Oh, my God. That's unbelievable.

That, like, not in my house. It's something Hasbro makes. Right, right. You know, channels. It's manufactured. The other side. We have a haunted Chinese checkers. Yeah. Yeah, I was going to say, yeah, it's, side we have a haunted chinese checkers yeah yeah i was gonna

say yeah it's like off of a factory line that yeah literally railroad workers something that like or chinese people put into a box yeah somehow has supernatural powers yeah be wary all ye who buy property on Baltic Avenue

on this Monopoly board. Tis haunted. Before I buy property on Monopoly, I always ask if it's haunted. Ghosts. Let's get into it. Just got ghosts. I mean, I know Park Avenue's nice, but do I got ghosts? Hold on, no. You got ghosts?

I put no property. You know what? I'm going to go to jail. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Is that a ghost? All right, be honest, though. Be honest. I don't know.

I love that, dude. Yeah, my friend Mike Colligan, he had an experience sort of like that, the night terror thing where you wake up and you can't move. He was working on a house in D.C., like a row home. I don't know if he bought it or if he was just renovating it, but he said weird shit would happen all the time where the tub would just be on. He'd be the only one working in the house and the tub would be on like full blast and just weird stuff like that one day um so yeah i think he was living there because uh he was sleeping and he woke up and he couldn't move and then there was like a man in the doorway that had like this weird like kind of old timey hat that had a buckle in the front of it or something

like a pilgrim i don't know if it was like that but it was yeah listen here english get out of my house uh so it was something like that like right before the guy got to the bed he like woke up or could get out of it or something like that that sounds like a night terror because i've had multiple of those yeah but um and then uh he was telling um the person he bought the house off of i guess uh was the granddaughter yeah he was telling that yeah he didn't know he's telling this woman that he bought the house off of and he was describing it and uh she was like oh that's like exact that's my grandpa like and had like a picture of him with that hat and he had never seen him before and it's like yeah that was him like terrifying that hat, and he had never seen him before, and it's like, yeah, that was him. I'm terrified.

That's my grandfather. He was a pilgrim. Yeah. That was my grandfather. He died at medieval times. God damn. No, that's... I want...

I don't know. I want something like that to happen to me. I'm still on a ghost tour. Because it'll make me like... Make me look at the world a whole different way, because I'm like this atheist. I'm not even spiritual at all. I don't believe in anything. You believe in ghosts? I think dogs can see them.

You think so? No way. For real? Yeah. Why would dogs be able to see ghosts? Because they're more in tune with how animals can feel when an earthquake's coming. You know about that, right? Yeah, I do know that. They'll seek higher ground and shit. Birds fly away, I guess.

Well, imagine this. There's the pistol shrimp, right? You ever see that shrimp? Yeah, they're the loudest. They make the loudest... No, they have a thing. They just shoot. They have a claw thing with enough force that it causes a hydrostatic shock.

Yeah. And the shock wave goes. Yeah. Well, they're also... They have... We have... How many receptors for colors? We have like 60. Yeah, they have way more. They, like, we have, how many receptors for colors? We have, like, 60.

Yeah, they have way more. They have, like, thousands more. Yeah, I know. So they see way more color than we do. Yeah, so, I mean, there could be things that. Wait, dogs see more color? No. Dogs see more color.

Black, white. I think they see blue. They mostly see with their noses. You guys know that? They mostly see with their noses. Dogs don't see color. Yeah. Except for all these racist dogs.

Like, get out of here, you gray bastard. My dog loves everybody except if the person is using a device to help them walk. Like, if they're in a wheelchair or crutches or whatever, then my dog's like, get that fucking cyborg. It's not natural what you're doing. Just walk. This is not what God intended. I just like to think your dog's bullying a handicapped person.

I just like, who is this motherfucker? Tommy, you see this shit? He's like a wheelchair-ass bitch, man. Look at you. Crip walk. Crip walk, daddy. Yeah, my dog hates everybody. He's a nightmare.

We met yesterday. We had to drop off the rent check, and we were walking Pickle right next to the place. And there was a woman walking a small Yorkie. And whenever I see another person, I'll stop. And I'll be like, do you want to have them talk? I don't like when owners do that. It makes me so nervous. Yeah, they're usually like, oh, my God.

Because Pickle loves every animal yeah well i think if you ask the uh other person it's cool but if you just assume they're like oh hi who's this just keep walking man because in my neighborhood my dogs want to interact man it's a uh middle eastern western asian neighborhood like there are there's people from india we have an an Asian population and one of the tenants in Islam is that dogs are filthy yep and that you can't if you touch one you well that's why the dude that threw his shoes that you watch the dude that threw his shoes at George Bush remember that in Iraq he screamed you lay down with dogs like right yeah which is supposed to be like a diss but you know in America we're like we're like we all do yeah more than mary i think that's probably why like i grew up with muslim

parents and like i don't like dogs uh i mean i don't hate dogs but like i don't have a like like when i live with boo like it was like i you know like i liked him but it's not like i have this affection for dogs that like most people yeah i mean i'm white so people's nose was in my mouth today yeah so yeah and like i like dog hair i am that typical white guy too like give me a kiss yeah yeah i play do you ever blow zerberts you ever do no berries on their belly uh yeah sometimes sometimes yeah yeah oh yeah yeah like i like you ever uh suck their dick because they because they love it i looked ridiculous pickles like this is so all i know is what you're talking about because we talked because they love it. Don't hang out Pickle on that beanbag chair. I looked ridiculous.

Pickle was like, this is so awkward. I like that no one knows what you're talking about because we talked about that before the pod. Yeah. I'll post a picture. We have a big beanbag chair.

I'll post a picture of Tommy on there when we drop the episode. Tommy told me it's uncomfortable to go down on a woman while you're on. Which I think his technique was wrong.

Nice. That's hilarious. That's the way you should. Yeah. So this will be on my Instagram, and we'll share this pic. We'll tweet it out. But so I bring this Yorkie over, and Pickle holds very still and waits for the Yorkie to smell her.

And the Yorkie's like, and then the Yorkie goes. Yeah. And he starts biting the shit out of Pickle's neck. And Pickle just stood there like, all right, get it out of your system. Wow. That's awesome. Well, it was just a like, all right, get it out of your system. Wow. That's awesome. Well, it was just a small, such a small dog. I know.

But yeah, no, it's good to have those types of dogs around that are like, I don't give a fuck. Because my dog freaks out about everything. So I think it needs to... Well, we had one time where we went to the park and Boo interacted well with other dogs. But we got... You just get... You got luck.

You know, you're lucky. Oh, yeah. Because Karen, she told me, my ex told me a story of like, you know, there's a dog park here. And this woman was like, I guess, or there's some park her friend was at. And she had her dog on the leash. And she had a baby, her, in the stroller. Yeah. And these two dogs, like, were running up to her and her dog. And then the woman's

like oh and like i guess karen's friend looked worried and the woman you know like oh it's okay they're friendly and then karen friend's like yeah my dog's not friendly come get your fucking you know what i mean yeah that's like yeah like and it would it'd be a bummer if something happened and then people would like blame her dog but they shouldn't right sure put it down rightfully so you're talking about karen right and and so i was at parts and labor the other day they're doing some like like you know they're doing something for memorial day uh-huh and there's like a pit bull there seemed really nice friendly and then another dog came and they're like the owner was walking by and the pit bull

started barking the other dogs are barking and the owners did that thing where they're like oh should we try to let them and i was like don't don't you're gonna ruin everyone's fucking day if these fucking dogs like bite each other it's gonna ruin everything right now like just keep walking who gives a fuck don't test it out it's like like i said in my neighborhood with with it being the way it is we have people like we'll cross the street yeah like people like and like jump onto the grass to get away from my dog and i'm like she's a because they're muslim like the muslim people yeah my mom is terrified of cats and dogs really won't go near them like we'll scream some little kids are just terrified of dogs i was i used to be scared of there's like this little this little black girl like she just started crying i was like no we're

just walking by like she's like, it's okay. It's all right. My mom is so scared of cats, especially cats. She thinks they'll steal your soul or something. Well, that's what they're doing when they're making

muffins on your chest. They're really just trying to tear it out of your chest. You gotta easily massage the soul out easily massage yeah you don't want to scare it you know it doesn't taste as good like in islam uh yeah like so like like animal dogs and like are considered dirty and stuff or like most most animals and that's why they don't eat pigs because they say pigs are just dirty animals and they're actuallyigs are actually really clean. They're really smart. They're like the fourth smartest

species or something like that. And an ex that has a pig. Oh, really? Or a husband. We're going to talk about Chocolier that way. He has a hog. Old hog dick.

And I totally forgot what we were talking about Islam still souls I don't remember you alright? yeah I'm just tired oh man the show we did last night yeah how was that?

honestly really fun the only two actual audience members there were these two black dudes were having the time of their fucking lives it was that oliver oliver brewing company so in like where was that like it was an east bald like way out way out there right fuck nowhere baltimore yeah uh two two black dudes were there uh mike quillen lynn pd steel yes a small crowd but yeah if you have a small crowd and there's two people that are into it that can make it fun they were laughing so hard they kept getting out of their chair and they were the best dude they were the fucking best and i got the i i got like at least three

new tags for this one joke i've been working on. It's awesome. And I got a brand new bit that I had thought of yesterday. And I was like, fuck it. I'm just going to go rogue. That's the time to do it. Yeah. And dude, I got to talk on stage. And sometimes in a way that I would want to, but I just don't because audiences would get uptight. Because it's a blue, you're supposed to work blue, meaning dirty.

And I was just saying, oh, it was so fun, dude. It was so fun just to be able to talk however the fuck you want yeah i'll worry about people being offended it was great yeah and there's in like so i hope some of those new jokes will work in like other venues but probably not but it was great it is so cool to like walk into a show well it's cool when a show that when you walk into you're like oh this is gonna fucking suck and then it turns out like this is really fun well sometimes it's great to like trick your brain with that too like man this sucks gives a fuck yeah and then it puts you in that mode where you can actually just

like the stakes are so low you can say whatever the fuck you want and it works because you're in a good mood and you're exactly exactly and we got free food the food was amazing so good deal the chef nice yeah yeah and you got paid that's oh and i got paid pretty decent that's a good not And we got free food. The food was amazing. So shout out to the chef. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, and you got paid. Oh, and I got paid pretty decent to not have to leave Baltimore. That's a great night. I did this show once in D.C. at the Union Jacks. Yeah. But it was on Halloween because I get a lot of Halloween bookings.

What? Because I have costumes. Outfits. I'm sorry. Outfits. Lifestyle. So I was all dressed up. We get there. It's Because I have costumes. Outfits. I'm sorry. Outfits. Lifestyle. So I was all dressed up. We get there. It's me and Jared Stern. And there's a whole... It's a whole stage.

Jared Stern's like, it's Halloween and... But there was only three audience members. Yeah? And it was one couple at this table and a woman sitting by herself at the other table. A woman by herself. I was like, alright, I'll just do crowd work. So I was doing crowd work and a woman sitting by herself at the other table. A woman by herself. I was like, all right, I'll just do crowd work.

So I was doing crowd work, and the woman sitting by herself was like, all right, you got me. I was a sex worker for about 10 years. It was like, how are you, ma'am? She's like, fine. My back's against the wall. I'm a prostitute. That is like a comedy. That's like the comedy gods are on here. Totally.

That's all we talked about. Totally. Fucking awesome. Yeah, and you don't even really have to be funny you can just be like and then what happened yeah well i was like what's what's the uh i was like what's the weirdest thing you ever did she said sure time uh she this guy paid her to she attracted his face she was all right yeah to shit on her shit on his face that's and i was like let's go into that. She said she knocked on the door. I asked you if you've ever done anything weird. That's what I asked you. I'm so hard right now, man.

She said she knocked on the door. I was like, now, hold on. Were you ready to go or were you going to have to be like, I have to eat a little something? But she was like, no, I was ready to pop. I had taken some laxatives. She knew what he wanted. She got prepped so she'd have to spend a little amount of can I just say something real quick professional yeah yeah that came from yeah she says she goes in the guy

had laid down a tarp on the ground so the guy I say this all the time I'd be worried he was gonna kill me I'm so happy I don't have a fetish where it's like god I'm so hot and heavy let me me go get the tarp. I'm so happy. It gets worse because then he said that he had a toddler's potty. Toddler's dick. And he had cut the bottom off. Oh, my God. So she could sit on it. Yeah.

How hard do you think that guy was as he was cutting it off? It's like, holy fuck. I got to go gotta go right now human brain well we talked the most interesting thing we talked wide a nut man that was well we talked about uh we talked about this two or three podcasts ago but have you watched the john mcafee documentary oh my holy shit i watch it it's amazing you have to watch it you know about him though who's john mcafee he So you know the McAfee virus software? He's the guy that invented that.

And he is a human supervillain, basically. So like super nuts. So he got all the money from that, from making that virus protection software. And then I think he goes, where does he go? Does he go to Columbia, Umar? Somewhere in South America. Yeah, he goes to does he go does he go to colombia umar uh he he basically somewhere in south america it was like cuba maybe no no not cuba it's it's in south america no no it's in uh africa anyway anyway it's yeah so it's in the south america and uh he's like basically just shows up as this rich white guy and like this sort of like poor kind of town and

he's like hey police do you want a boat i'll buy you this and basically like buys off the cops and then it's like doing whatever he wants and he's claiming that he's going to make all these medicines and things like that and then he's really just making drugs and uh he gets these uh five women to be his girlfriend and like to have like basically like a harem and you're like jesus christ this is these poor oh yeah there you go and it's like man these poor women like god he's just having his way with him because he's also like in his 40s and there she's like i graduate high school and then i'm yeah they're like young police yeah and so and they're like almost teenagers and that yeah and then uh is it barely legal down there i think everything's good to go down there yeah and that's why he's there yeah that's why he's yeah so he buys everything off and like he's uh

has these women and you're like jesus christ these poor girls and then uh their interview uh the documentarian is interviewing them separately and he's and she's like well did you have to have sex with him and he's they're like oh no we never did that it's like you never did that it's like oh well we would have to sit on the hammock and john he cut out hole in hammock and we sit on hammock and he he get underneath and we we shit in his mouth and that's all he ever did with all five of them never had sex never and like blowjobs anything all he wanted them to do was shit in his mouth yeah it was like uh it was like mini golfing that way you have to time it out how do you not just

puke immediately oh my god like i fucking start gagging when i walk into a bathroom and someone leaves shit in the without flushing. I'm such a baby about it at work. I won't even shit if there's somebody else shitting in there. I'm going to find my own bathroom. I'm not doing this. I think the girl that asked me if she could pee on me once. Did you do it?

I was like, in the shower. I would let someone do it. Because if you say yes to that, there's nothing that she can say no to. I like that. It's a bargaining chip there. All right. I thought I was into some weird shit, but let's get your not that weird thing over with.

All right. Now let's whip out the hammock with the hole in it. How often did you get peed on? Just that one time. One time. Is she into it? Yeah. I mean, she asked me.

I mean, but when she's peeing, is she like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She was like, you know, like dirty talking. No when she's peeing, is she like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, she was like, you know. Was she like dirty talking? No. She just stood over you and peed? Well, I let her pee on my leg in the shower.

She came over, we were already showered. Oh, you didn't like lay down in the tub? I'm not. Pumar, please. I'm not McAfee. I don't know my friend. I have a friend who used to. This is Tommy Norton antivirus.

I think he would ask women to pee on him And he would lay down in the tub And they would pee on him Which, whatever I have a different relationship with pee because I'm diabetic My piss is delicious Yours is like, isn't that a thing? Oh yeah, that's how I knew I had diabetes

How? Because I was losing all this weight I was drinking a gallon of water how old were you at this time this was like two years ago so you are i was 38 at the time okay so um but then uh yeah and then my piss smelled hard it would always smell like i drank like i ate asparagus yeah and i was like and i was like oh i'd heard that if you have diabetes your piss tastes sweet so there's one day i was peeing and i just i swiped my finger through the stream and i was like i just you know tapped it to my tongue and i was like oh my god it's fucking delicious

and he just so fucking just aimed it towards your mouth well that's uh patrice said that he said um he went and got a check for diabetes after his girlfriend was like hey your urine's a little sweet oh yeah like so i think he was into some water sports yeah yeah well at first we went to like the minute clinic and i was like help me he well lou was at the minute clinic for pink eye because for some reason she's 40 something it still gets pink eye that's so funny but she uh i i threw into the dot was like oh hey by the way and i described my symptoms and i was like and my piss tastes sweet and she was like stop don't taste your piss and that was her that's my job now get it out she was like you're just pissing because you're

drinking all that water and i'm like but i was drinking all that water because my kidneys were fucking they were my kidneys were processing sugar yeah and you're why I also lost all the weight because the kidneys were working yeah yeah yep yeah that's what happened to Karen too well cuz she has type ones but she was like a piece of shit yeah she does yeah it's a two pieces shit your lifestyle's a choice but yeah same thing when she was losing all that weight she was like damn i look good whoa and then because then they're like no uh you're dying she's like but i look good though right all right i'm dying good damn yeah my

friend uh after she got divorced i guess like she was you know like depressed and shit and so she lost all this weight and people kept complimenting on her and how great she looks. She just felt really bad. She was like, what are you doing? I'm just sad. She's like, this is my sad... She would call it her sad body, which is hilarious. You're not eating. You're depressed.

You're depressed. That'd be great. If Lou died, God, man, I'd be so high. Why? Because I'd lose a bunch of weight. I'd go back to the gym. It is funny how in a relationship, a lot of people gain weights in relationships. You get happy.

You go out and eat all the time. Yeah, Karen just set a rule. She's like, can we stop eating pizza in bed? And I was like, nah. No, fuck that. Why? Well, how am I gonna get at this out of your pussy yeah baby huh think about it I was like all right well how about no more pizza

after like 10 p.m. and she's like okay because it affects late that's super yeah I know but uh but you know I need I need to live my lifestyle yeah but I know you have a crippling condition exactly she's like Joshosh i woke up and my blood sugar was like 200 i can't do that anymore yeah all right well you're like i'm not that bad yeah it's like ain't my problem fam god i love food man it is so good dude i hate people who aren't that into eat like i have friends who are just like yeah whatever i'm like what yesterday i was so pumped. I ate oatmeal for breakfast. I had oatmeal and an apple and coffee. Then I played guitar all day.

Then I went for a run and then went to Food Market for a happy hour. Got a cheeseburger, truffle fries, edamame, and those pretzel fingers. You ever try yucca fries? Fries made from yucca or yucca? It's like a south american

potato wow they make the fries oh it's so starchy where can you get it and usually like uh at like taqueritas and stuff yeah i try really hard to not eat carbs during the week and then on the weekend i really a little bit just a little bit like i'll have a burger burger i think is my favorite food. Nothing is better than a burger to me. The cheeseburger at a food market is pretty dope. Yeah? Especially for $10. Oh, my God.

That's their happy hour deal. I'm going to go do that for lunch. I was talking to my dad yesterday. He was like, what are you doing? I was telling him I was going out to eat. And he was like, yeah, I got this really good $10 burger. And he's like, better be good for $10. That's so funny to me.

I was like, that's like the happy hour price. That's on sale. And he's like, whoa, okay. Dude,. That's so funny to me. That's like the happy hour price. That's on sale. And he's like, okay. Dude, Parks and Labor did a $6 burger last weekend. Oh, my God. I don't even know because it was just a simple burger. Patty, but it was unbelievably good. Yeah.

And the food market burger, they put pickles on it. Big fan of that. Love pickles on a burger. Big fan of that. Makes it worth it. They also have, they sell it. It's a separate item, but they have the buffalo fried pickles. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Fried pickles. And I think the move in. Are they spears or chips? Chips. The fucking buffalo pickles on your burger. Put that shit on the burger. You know what I'm talking about?

Come on. How do you guys feel about, do you guys like bacon on your burger? It's okay. It depends on the bacon. I used to be all for it, and now I think it's too much. I think so, too. I'm into just a cheeseburger. Cheeseburger.

Lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles. Dip that in ketchup. I used to fuck with this burger. It would be a burger with pulled pork on it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty fucking dope. There used to be a place called Chicken Out or whatever. No, not Chicken Out.

But it was up in Joppa. It's gone anyway. But you could order whatever you wanted with like five meats on the sandwich. It was like a pit beef place. God damn. But they also sold hamburgers. So I'd be like, can I get a hamburger? And then put pit ham, pit turkey, pit beef.

And they would be like, I have to talk to my manager. Yeah, they're like, will I get charged with attempted murder? Will I be an accessory to your death? Have you ever had the Meat Mountain from Arby's? No, but I went to Arby's ever. Real quick, though, if anybody wants to call me Meat Mountain as my nickname,

just go for that. That'd be cool. You and Eric Jockler. Well, he's meat mound i'll be the mountain but i it's a secret menu item and it has like it's like a quarter pound of their roast beef a quarter pound of turkey quarter pound of corn beef like a quarter pound of everything they have two two chicken fingers all then cheese. Yeah, and they put it on one sandwich. It is so heavy. Ew.

And they're 10 pounds a piece. Ew. And you have to like my one- Sign a waiver to get it. Well, my boss found out about it when we complete a project. He'll be like, hey, he'll slide me money. He'll be like, go to Arby's, get us five meat mountains. And then I got to pull up and I'm like, can I get five meat mountains?

And you're by yourself. Are you meat mountain, sir? yes if there's one time i pulled they're not all for me i swear i pulled up and the guy was like i was paying and this other guy crowded his way into the window it's like i just had to see the face of the guy that was five minutes yes the face of the guy. There's no way you disappointed either. That curly Q mustache. Villain. That's hilarious.

You look exactly like I thought you would. Exactly. You look like a hardened artery. Sushi? Oh, dude. Oh, fuck, yeah. You ever have a sushi burrito? Yeah, I love it.

Sushi ridos. Somebody posted one time on face uh john jonathan jonathan jacob posted like if you like sushi burritos unfriend me now and i was like bye bye bitch and we weren't friends for like a year but like he's like a good dude where we like knew each other yeah all through college and i messaged you and he was like what's up what happened why the fuck did you do that i was like you told me to unfriend you i love sushi burritos i did it i had one the other day and i fucking was so into it there was a comic a couple years ago that just kept posting like he stopped posting funny stuff and it was all just about his breakup with his girlfriend and he was like so then he had a post he was like if you if you don't want to see me posting shit about my girlfriend just unfriend me and. And I was like, unfriend? Bye.

That's a great idea. Yeah. And then he messaged me. Why'd you unfriend me? Who was it? Don't say it on the. I'll tell you. Okay.

I was like, yeah, you said I don't want to see it anymore. Jesus. That's so funny. Cool. Should we do some plugs? Yeah. Let's wrap it up here. Plugs.

Plugs. Plugs. So, yeah, you have gin and jokes this week, right? Gin and jokes. Ramin Mostafavi is uh headlining june 7th that's thursday june 8th oh wait i haven't told them yet about it are you still good to do that june 8th um what is that because so i can go see dave chapelle oh yeah yeah no i thought that was uh yeah yeah and then so you so you... I'll do the... I'm doing the ninth. You do the eighth, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mentioned that to Aaron on the podcast. So I didn't tell those guys. I haven't told them either. All right, cool. I'm nervous, too. I'll tell them today. Okay.

So June 8th, Josh and Aaron Hinken hopefully are hosting... Fringe. ...Eights on the Fringe so I can go see Dave Chappelle that night. Nice. And then June 9th, me and Aaron will be hosting it while Josh is seeing Dave Chappelle that Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Ryan Preston's going to one of those. Yeah.

Yeah. Are you free? Are you free that Saturday night? What night is it? The 9th. Let me know because I bought two tickets. I got screwed on my tickets. I am free.

They're not great. But yeah, if you want to come. Uh-oh. Karen's not going? I don't think she wanted to. I think she has something. Let me follow up with my girl. But if she doesn you want to come. Uh-oh, Karen's not going? I don't think she wanted to. I think she has something. Let me follow up with my girl. But if she doesn't, then yeah.

Type 1 doesn't want to go. Type 2 will go. Oh, I like that. Type 2 coming off the bench. And so yeah, that's the 8th and 9th. But on the 7th, Mike's movie, Bored in the USA, which Tommy is a part of, is going to premiere at the Senator here in Baltimore. And it's going to be in the main theater.

The big one, which is going to be really cool. That's a lot of seats. Yeah. So, yeah, it's going to be fun. I'm going to, I think, do a little Q&A at the end with you guys. So I think Mike is going to go up there, and then we're going to do a Q&A with the audience. Are they going to Skype in Chris Milner?

I don't know. I don't know what the plan is. Yeah. I guess Milner's going to wait for the international release. Yeah. He likes movies. He'll be at the London premiere.

He'll be at Cannes. Cannes, you know, whichever. Yeah, so make your way out to that. I think tickets are going to be available because it is such a big room. But yeah, Tommy, you were great in that. Milner's great in it. Kelly Lloyd's great.

I haven't seen it yet. Really? Yeah. It's good. This will be seen it yet. Really? It's good. This will be my first time. The premiere premiere is Thursday. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice.

Yeah, so that's the 7th. Yeah, so come out to that. Get in this, guys. And then, yeah, so doing that. And then my band, Tremendous Athlete, has a show at Metropolitan Annapolis on the 10th. Come out to that and let's see.

Yeah, and then we'll be doing stand-up at Artscape, it looks like, on what? The 20th and 21st? Oh, no, you're going to be at Magoobie's. I'm at Magoobie's hosting for Kurt Metzger. Yeah, I'm bummed. So I have to cancel that. I'm bummed, but I'd rather do five shows than

one in a weekend. Fuck yeah. At a club? I'll fill in for you if you want. Oh, there you go. At Artscape? Yeah, at Artscape. Yeah, I'll throw them your name. I don't know how it works.

We'll just email Nicky. I'm sure she'll be fine with that. But yeah, so I'll be doing that the 20th and the 21st. My band is going to play, I think, in front of Brothers Music or something. But we'll keep you posted. Tommy, you got the Laugh Finder podcast? We do. The Laugh Finder podcast with Josh as our guest

starts next week and then you catch him again the week or tomorrow catch him again the week after and stay tuned afterwards we're going to actually play two tracks off of Tremendous Athletes New Orleans I appreciate that man yeah I'm very excited the album's called Sign of the Devil and

it keeps getting pushed back when it's going to come out but it's going to come out it's definitely going to come out in June sometime but yeah the tracks will be on there and i appreciate you playing those thank you thank you man and then i have on the eighth uh just some hotel not a hotel an apartment show for not brock someone else booked me for another that's cool i'm actually getting paid for this one there you go black kid that beat him up can we tell the... That whole family. That whole family.

I actually asked about ghosts. As soon as this movie ends, that ghost is catching hands. All right? Yeah, man. Thank you. Thank you for doing the show. Thanks for having me. And...

Hey, Eric Glazer. What's up, buddy? But yeah, we got to give a shout out to uh dylan meyer and uh that's probably the reason we didn't do an episode last week because it was just it'd be too weird and too fresh to try to be funny but uh yeah dylan meyer really really funny guy great dc comedian and uh yeah he passed last week suddenly and uh such a fucking bummer yeah so go check him out on youtube yeah yeah he's got really good sets up his stuff's still up there and uh yeah i mean his twitter twitter instagram all that stuff still up and uh yeah i mean we got to do a

show with him that thursday before he passed and me knew and him did uh that blue lives matter show together that was so oh the the fire department yeah i did that the year prior yeah and we me and dylan went into the bathroom together and i was like just very nervous being there said this hick town whatever everyone was really nice yeah and it was fun actually and uh and uh on our way to the bathroom the bartender was like hey you guys want anything? And I was just like, no, thank you, sir. Thank you so much.

And then Dylan was like, man, look at you playing it extra safe and being extra polite. No, sir. Thank you, sir. I'm fine, sir. Thank you. Can I have a don't murder me on the rock?

The side of, I'm fine. I'm cool. He's just great. He's a great it was great man guy really funny yeah so funny we got to do the time machine roast in baltimore that was like yeah dude it was like the most one of the most fun shows yeah i've like i just laughed the whole night that was that was a really like cute night too like it felt like like baltimore put on like a local production of something you know what i mean like everybody's in costumes yeah it was so fun it was a lot of work to do that show and like a lot of back and forth and planning and like dylan and benji were like so cool yeah and uh yeah it was great man

yeah it was it's such a loss for the scene yeah really this whole past week with everybody that's changed their profile picture yeah and i'll be scrolling through it in my head. I'm like, Oh, what did Dylan put? Yeah. Yeah. You're like, Dylan has gotten less funny. You're like, Oh wait,

that's just Ramin. Oh man. All right. Well, uh, yeah, here's the, yeah.

So RIP Dylan riff, riff in peace, my friend. And, uh, yeah. So it's sad and, uh, don't know how to end it but all right guys thank you

for listening we'll uh we'll talk to you next week david kechner take us out digression sessions come on to an end Thank you. Oh yeah, oh yeah