The Digression Sessions - Ep. 26 - …On a T-Shirt! w/ Alex Braslavsky & Daniel Friedman (Chucklestorm)

Episode Date: February 26, 2012

Hola Digheads! On this week’s show we have the duo that comprises the force of comedic nature known as Chucklestorm! AKA Dan Alex. Enjoy!  Don’t forget to rate, subscribe, and provide a nice comment on the iTunes! PLEASE! It’ll help the podcast climb the gosh danged charts! AND FEEL FREE TO CONTACT US!  [e-mail] @DigSeshPod @JKuderna @MichaelMoran10  

🎵 Hey, what up, dickheads? It's Josh Koderna here. Welcome to another Digression Sessions podcast. Quick little intro here for the show today. We have Alex Broflovsky and Dan Friedman, the comedic duo that makes up Chuckle Storm. They host a show under the same name every month at the Auto Bar. And it's a stand-up show, and there's five or six comedians that do stand-up hilarity stuff. Their next show will be Tuesday, March 6, 2012, so check that out.

I think it's five bucks, plus there's two-for-one deals and all that other good stuff. So this episode has a little bit of white noise in the background. I'm not sure what's going on with the mixer. I think there were some malfunctions that I didn't notice while we were recording, so I apologize for that, but it's still a great app

if you can get behind that white noise. Maybe you'll find it comforting. Who knows? Alright, well, enjoy. We'll have an episode up next Monday. So, love you, Digheads. Goodbye, and enjoy the episode. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, my goodness. A long time coming. A fully formed Digression Sessions podcast. Wow. Here it is in all its glory. Mama, I'm coming home.

Yeah. Any other 80s references? Actually, I believe that song came out in the early 90s. Ooh. Any other early 90s? Yeah. I've got a couple here. Gotta Have It.

Yeah. Regression Sessions. Yep. Yep. That one. That's all I can think of Were there catchphrases in the early 90s? Like I'm thinking like

Is that your final answer? Or this is the weakest link Goodbye Or I'm the king of the world But those were all late 90s There's probably cut it out That's what we often like to reference Oh yeah

Dave Coulier Oh yeah Question mark Hold on Yeah Too legit to quit Uh huh Oh, yeah. Dave Coulier. Oh, yeah. Question mark. Hold on. Oh, yeah. Too legit to quit. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Jesus, Alex. Alf. It's just Alf. Give me that cat.

Yeah, I'll eat that cat. Give me that darn cat. Then I knew that. Then I knew that. Did Alf have a catchphrase? Did they ever try? Not that I can recall. Yeah, yeah. We could look that up, though.

I can't imagine he wouldn't. I mean, they had, like, Alf dolls with, like, sayings on them, like, Yeah, I don't do Mondays and stuff like that. Oh, all right. Well, welcome to the Digression Sessions podcast. Welcome, everybody. I'm one half of your favorite pair of earbuds, Josh Kodernick. And I am the other half of your favorite pair of earbuds, Mike Moran.

How the hell are you, dickheads? How you guys doing? Let's hear it. How are you? A little louder, guys. Come on. We can barely... We can't hear you.

What did you say? We can't hear you. What's going on in podcast land, huh? We do all this talking to you. We hardly ever give you a chance to talk to us. I know. Go for it, guys. Go for it.

Right. Honestly, that's a little offensive, but continue. Suits the circumstance, I think, though. Wow. But three loaves of bread? I mean, it's a little early for Rwanda jokes, I think. It really is. It really is.

Anyways. Yeah. I'm freezing my hoot-toos and tootsies off over here. I think it's because there's a storm brewing. Storm brewing. I think there's a storm coming. Oh, yeah. There's a cloud above us. I can see the storm coming. Oh, yeah. There's a cloud above us.

I can see the storm clouds. It's like a chuckle storm, huh? Hey, fellas. Hey, you haven't been properly introduced. We're not done with the storm thing yet, right? Anybody says chuckle storm, and they've got to be talking about fucking Dan Allen. I was watching the Weather Channel today, and it looks like there's a storm coming in. Uh-huh.

The newscaster's name was Chuck. Ah. Yep. This is an LOL storm. Chuck L. Hey, it's Chuck L. Storm. Chuck L. Storm. Wow.

If you guys ever combined into one entertainer, you'd be Chuck L. Storm. Hey, fellas. Not yet. Please welcome to the show, they're the hosts of the monthly stand-up show at the Auto Bar in Baltimore, Maryland. It's Dan and Alex. Dan and Alex. Of A Chuckle Storm. We got Alex Brovlovsky.

Hey, y'all. And Dan Brovlovsky. That's not my last name. It's Friedman, right? Yeah. That's right. Oh, yeah. I thought you guys were married.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I assumed you were either married or brothers. Twin brothers. We're married brothers, actually. Jewish. You made it really simple. Oh, yeah.

I'm a Jewish. So how the heck are you guys? Yeah, what's going on? We're good. We're good. The two of us. Oh, you guys are okay? Yeah, we're fine. We're okay. You guys weren't talking before

the show and it seems a little icy. It's cold out there. Oh, alright. It's cold in here. Well, let me ask you this. When you sleep at night, does one of you go, and the other one goes, shoo. We actually both just go, shoo.

We both go, shoo. That doesn't make any sense. Do you have twin beds that have your names on them? Because I imagine that you do. We actually have one queen-sized bed. One queen-sized bed. Why would you buy two beds when you can just get one big one? Yeah.

Yeah, that's true. You know what, Mike? You don't think. Uh-oh. You just stink. You never think. You always stink. Not a thinker, just a stinker.

Is that a Rocky reference? Rocky and Bullwinkle. Wink wink. You remember when Bullwinkle went solo? Neither do I. It never happened. Sounds like a Tim Allen joke to me. I think it might look

A little something like this And it's Bullwinkle singing methods Amazing songs We're fine What happened This is for the listeners at home For the digheads Outside of

The dig sesh HQ The plant we call it outside of the Dig Sesh headquarters, the plant, we call it, for some reason, there's a guy that drove his truck into a fire hydrant. This is true. Really? Yeah, I saw it. Yeah, they're dealing with it right now. Fire hydrant is lodged in between the front wheel

and the casing of the car. And we were walking over over here and we didn't notice that's what happened. And Alex, the first thing he says to him is, hey man, how's it going? I just said a casual, hey, how's it going? And he wasn't talking to us, but he was just like, fuck. What's up with you, man? How's it going?

He wasn't happy about what I said. Now there's cop cars and stuff. Did you offer assistance once you saw that there was distress? How could I assist him? I don't know. Stopped him. You want me to call the city and tell them to turn the water off?

You could massage him to loosen him up. Use those muscles to lift the car up. Yeah. No. No? No. All right. There wasn't a 1996 Chrysler LHS involved in that accident, was there?

Is that what you drive? Yeah. You jealous? Did you say 96? Yeah. You heard me, buddy. Wow. Jelly?

Yep. What kind of mileage? I'm talking 150K plus. That's it? He actually has a Is That Your Final Answer bumper sticker on it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You have an 8-track player?

Uh-huh. Yeah. I got a vinyl player in there. It takes up a little space. You have a record player in your car. I got the old timey one with the big flower thing. Yeah, I got the phonograph that you got to crank up. Edison's phonograph.

You want me to turn up the vitriol? This is an Edison edition. You could turn up the vitriola if you want. Is that what it's called? The Victrola? Yeah, Victrola. Well, so Alex, you've been on the show before. I have.

So welcome back. Dan, this is your first time. This is my first time. I brought Dan on. And I'm ready for his first time. All right. All right. So you guys are the host of Chuckle Storm.

Yes. Monthly installment at the Auto Bar. Every month. Can you describe the show for our listeners slash digheads out there well yes do it one word at a time please

start with Dan it's a comedy show that brings a lot of young people that like to laugh and take their wieners outside of young people that like to laugh and take their wieners

outside. Outside's one word. You can't do that. No, that's the period. We're done. Well, it actually seemed like... Thanks for having us. It actually seemed like they were playing a game, but they were just reading off a piece

of paper. That was pretty skilled. That was pretty good, come on. This is an improv. I was pretty skilled. I was pretty good, you guys. Population, too. So, the show brings young people that like to laugh and bring their wieners out. Outside. Outside. Excuse me.

Sorry. So, you're saying they pee outside? They just bring them out. No, they pee inside, but they take their wieners outside. We're not going to go into it, Mike. All right. You'll have to come to the show, eh? Is that a thing you post? No shirt, no wieners outside. We're not going to go into it, Mike. All right. You'll have to come to the show, eh? Is that a thing you post?

No shirt, no wieners, no comedy. No problem. No problem. No problem. Hey, that's not my problem. Chuckle storm, no shirts, no wieners, no problem. It's a feminist show. So, cheers.

Cheers. Did I ever tell you about the time my third grade teacher suggested putting up a Keep your hands, legs, and penises to yourself sign on the wall? No And the whole classroom was just rolling with laughter Break it down Okay What grade was this?

Third grade, I believe, possibly fourth Was there rape? I don't know Third, fourth, or senior year I believe It's one of those old grades I'm freaking old, I don't know. Third, fourth, or senior year. I believe. It's one of those old grades. I'm freaking old.

I can't remember exactly. Anyway, we come back to the bathroom, and the teacher is just going on and on about how two boys were playing with each other's penises. And she said the word penis over and over, and she was yelling, and she was very pissed off about this. And the entire class was rolling as though Andrew Dice Clay himself were up on stage. We were just falling over. Did you say the sign said keep your hands, legs, and penises? Yes. Were they touching each other's penises with their legs? Well, let me get to that.

Limbs. She said, like, do I have to put up a sign that says keep your arms or hands, legs, and penises to yourself? And we're just falling out of our chairs by that point. It was like kids jerking other kids off with their legs. No, no, no. I got the explanation from an inside source. It turned out Aaron Boehm and Ryan Wilkes were...

Those are fake names, right? No, those sound like real names. Oh, those are real? That's good. It's all right. As far as I know, they don't exist anymore. Should have simplified

to just like limbs and dicks. Right. Limbs and dicks. But apparently the real... What was really going on was just an innocent game of snip snip using their fingers as scissors. Circumcision. Well, yeah, they were playing circumcision. They're Jewish boys.

With their penises firmly tucked within their pants and underwear. Oh, yeah. Alex puts a button on every story I put the button on the circumcision story Put the button on the circumcision Put the button We used to play that on Christmas Two years ago to this day

My mom died Oh yeah No I heard the pain in your voice When you said that Did you? Yeah. Except take an acting class.

And my mom's dead. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I got in trouble in the second grade because I said Barney sucks. Yeah, that's a good story. That was... You got in trouble with other kids? The teacher. What?

I was in second grade, and I think it was when Barney was really big, like the height of Barney mania. Barn fest. And I was trying to separate myself from that. That's when, like... Wait, so I didn't realize this. You were trying to be, like, punk rock by being like... That wasn't my goal, but I think it was just to be like, that's for, like, little kids. Okay.

We're second grade. We're older. Okay. You know, probably know probably like first graders like barney right like power ranger fever at that point right right right like fuck that it's all about the white range did you get in trouble for dissenting against barney or because you used the word sucks it was like if you had said like barney's the worst like would she have right i don't think yeah would the kid have been as traumatized had you was he upset about you

saying sucks i think it was both I think it was just a double punch just right to everything he loves. Right. Have you found him on Facebook? Yeah. The ironic thing is he turned into a big metal kid later on, like a huge Slipknot fan and wore like the leather bracelets with like the studs and stuff.

We should call him and ask him about this. Barney metal. But yeah, we were leaving one day. We go out. We're going to our cubbies to get our jackets and our book bags and stuff and I just look at this kid and I go, hey man, doesn't Barney suck? And he just looked at me like I told

him his grandmother was dead or something. He's just like bewildered. Did he tattle? Yeah, I was like, oh fuck, I gotta get out of here. I went to the daycare at the school so it's like, oh shit, I gotta get my Jurassic Park book bag and get to get out of here. Snitch. I went to the daycare at the school. So it's like, oh, shit, I got to get my Jurassic Park book bag and get the fuck out of here and get to daycare. So I was like getting all my stuff.

And then I saw him go over to the teacher. And I was like, oh, I got to go. And then I was in the hallway. And I turned around. That was my flaws. I turned around. You never turn around. And then my teacher was there.

And she did one of these moves where she puts out her hand and then has that finger like, come back, mister. Wrote a whole note. No, it wasn't two fingers. It was two fingers. I didn't finger you naughty boy. And she started doing the blowjob motion with her mouth. Not a word of this to your parents. Yeah.

So never turn around. Don't turn around. The song was right. Who's that? Oh, Ace of Base. That's who it was. Never forget. Yeah, that's what

that song was about. Never forget. I was a big Ace of Base head. Really? Your base head? Ace of Basement. At what age? Eight. Okay. Okay what age? Eight.

Okay. Okay, it's acceptable. My sister just pushed it down my ears. Right. Not your throat. Earsockets. No. What about TLC?

Did you ever go chasing waterfalls? Yeah, I was into that. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Chasing waterfalls. Mm-hmm. Isn't that like the worst message for a song? Are they saying like, don't go after anything that's difficult?

Yeah. Hey, just stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to. Just stay mediocre, man. Come on. Don't reach for the stars. You don't need to do something great. Don't go for more than what you can handle. You'll do stuff in your next life.

You know? Maybe. No, what's... Just relax. Okay, so the video, a guy died from AIDS. Yeah, he was fucking all the time, dog. And then one guy got stabbed. No, no, that's the guy.

No, no, no, the different guy. Yeah, because he dies of AIDS. Yeah, then there's like a young gangster. That died from like a gang banging. From a gang banging. And then a girl on the prairie dies in a tornado. That one was weird. If they went literal with it,

it was just like natural disasters that killed all those people. Typhoon. An earthquake. She went to town to get a new dress. Got killed by a tornado. Stay at home. She just stayed in the cabin.

Went into town for some rations.isa left eye rip rip rip r.i.p r.i.p r.i.p that hurricane that got her it's fucked up i'll never ironic i remember when she died like there was this big thing special about her and it talked for like 10 minutes about how she was really into numerology what's that like when you like you when you believe in numbers have really inherent meanings. Kind of a tarot card. Like your birthday, you add the numbers together and weird supernatural stuff. And where did it get her? Six feet underground.

She's dead. Dummy. Skeptic. She never believed in numbers. Do you buy into that? Do I believe in numerology? Absolutely not. Is there any kind of supernatural thing you believe in?

I mean, there's a couple that could have some kernels of truth here and there. Of course I want to believe. Truth is out there. I think that's why I'm into skepticism. As a kid, I was so into aliens and monsters. I'm flipping the script on your ass. I hate this. Go on.

I hate this. Please on. I hate this. Please continue. This is terrible. Tell me more. I hate this flipping the script. Tell me more. Make it easier for me. My man flipped that script. Flip. What if my name was Flip D Script?

Chuck L Storm. Mr. Script. Bio Diesel. What? Bio Diesel. His name is Bi. You're not going to get picked on in school, man. A bisexual man.

What's up, Bi? You didn't think about that. A beautiful boy, Bio. It's Vin Diesel's son. That'd be pretty funny. This is my son, Vi. Someone thought they were changing their name to something really masculine and action movie, and it was Bi-O-Diesel.

The movie turns into a PSA for environmentalism. Or biohazard. I'm Vin Diesel. This is my son, Biohazard. Don't go chasing biohazard. This is my son, Biohazard. Don't go chasing Biohazard. That's my son. Seriously, don't chase him. That is fucked up.

Don't you dare chase my son. Not even a game attack. My son, Biohazard. I will get fast. That's your Vin Diesel impression? Don't you dare go chasing my son. That's Vin Diesel as a concerned parent. Wow.

We haven't seen this. You know he's a big Dungeons and Dragons fan. Really? Yeah, he wrote an intro to some Dungeons and Dragons book recently. Really? Or something. And by recently, I mean like eight years ago when someone told me about this. Do you think he really wrote it or somebody just wrote it for him?

I don't know that much about Vin Diesel or Dungeons and Dragons. Could be some nerds like Penn Nail. Vin Dia one way or the other. Well, I mean just that most celebrity autobiographies. Is that true? I mean even if it's just like a snippet? No, I'm just thinking. I don't know.

I mean I just can't see Vin Diesel writing that. I don't know. I mean this is the height of Pacifier mania eight years ago. Yeah, I know. Originally, Jackie Chan was supposed to play the guy in the Pacifier. That's why he knows all the karate and stuff.

Because it was written for Jackie Chan. But he couldn't do it. That was when Jackie Chan was going through a dark time. Vin Diesel never really... It seemed like he was all set to be the next action star and it didn't really work out for him. What's he doing nowadays?

Fast Five. Yeah, I think he crawled back to the Fast and the Furious series. His tail between his legs. Triple X. Is there another one of those coming out? Triple X, the faster. There was one with Ice Cube. Triple X, Tokyo Drift.

Ice-T. Crank them out. Triple X Tokyo Drift. Ice T. Triple X Chipwrecked. Chipwrecked? That's the new Alvin and Chipmunks movie. The Squeakquel. The Squeakquel. The Squillage. Which David crosses in for some weird reason.

Yep. Yep. Oh, yeah. All right. So what else, guys? yep yep oh yeah alright so what else guys I saw you guys there was an article written about you guys

oh yeah how'd you get in on that we just fucked everyone at city paper uh huh and then we found the right one

lo and behold we fucked the right one we fucked all of them and after each sex time we would say, are you the editor? They're like, not me. Not I. Try the man next door.

Kipping away laughing at your burning genitalia. Now one of the writers, Joseph Martin, approached me about contributing to an article about the local Baltimore scene. Right.

He talked to us. The DIY scene. Yeah, he talked to us. Talked to the Wham City guys, Ben and Mason, who run a cool show at the Zodiac. Wind Up Guys. Yeah, he talked to John Bennett. Jen Tisdale. Yeah, Jen Tisdale.

Jen Tisdale. Name dropping. Mickey Freeland. Name dropping. Yeah, it was a cool article. I mean, I guess. But did you readdale. Yeah. Jen Tisdale. Name dropping. Mickey Freeland. Name dropping. Yeah, it was a cool article. I mean, I guess. But did you read it? Yeah.

Well, then you're right. Yeah. No, it was pretty good. Yeah, it was good. There's a scathing review of Hector Arroyo, though. I. Scathing. Yeah.

Was it scathing? No. See, yeah, it seemed like it was. A parody of a parody. A parody of a parody. A parody of a parody. Yeah, a stereotype of a stereotype. Yeah, he actually came to see the show the one time that it wasn't the two of us. Because I wasn't there.

Yeah, Dan was unavailable, so I did a... I was in that show, wasn't I? You were. Why the hell wasn't I? Why wasn't Dan the man interviewed for the City Paper? What was it? Dan the man Gunderson? Gufterson.

Gufterson. Gufterson? Gufterson. Gustafson. Gustavoson? city paper was it then the man gunterson doctors that got this is golf person doctors and guest gustavson because the guest of the same the star of the same to stop inside uh... berg the as a weird weird time for him to come and see right but uh... nonetheless was yeah what were you doing for the big heads that might not have been there, Alex?

What was the character? I was doing this really hacky Latino comedian. Latina? Hispanic? I was doing this hacky Hispanic. This Latina named Hector. For a second you couldn't remember which was male and which was female. So I went with the safe bet and said Hispanic. Just say Mexican.

It's like, you know, all those, like, there's a lot of great Hispanic comedians. But you mean kind of like George Lopez? Like a Lopez. Even like Gabriel Iglesias. Right. Just like typical. And it's going to be awkward when they're both on the show next week. The two of them together.

We're getting Lopez and Hector. Hector Royo. Yeah. Yeah. But it was fun. And we had. If you just forget what you're talking about just to throw in

it was fun it was a fun thing Mike Moran was kind enough to come on and do a little bit that was very kind we had a Dan replacement series that we did

we had auditions I like how I'm talking about this as if I was there. You can pretend. And then it turned out none of you guys... You can pretend. It'll make the whole thing not make any sense at all. It was a really good show. None of you guys made the cut, though. Dan won

a spot yet again. Yep. Fuck. Reigning champion. Reigning champion. Well, next time I'll have to bring a watermelon to smash. Well, Mike, it's a big pair of short shorts to fit. Whoa, friend. Yeah. I see what Dan's packing in those short shorts.

A wiener. Take it outside. That's what I thought it was. Got to take it outside, kids. Come on, guy. Come on, guy. Take that wiener outside. You know the rules. Come on, guy. Yeah, the short. Take that wiener outside. You know the rules.

Come on, guys. Yeah, the short shorts, we can't escape them now. I think originally... You wake up in the middle of the night and they're there. It's just a joke. It's really the first time you're like, hey, wouldn't it be funny if we wore short shorts? And then it became this thing.

And now, yeah, the times that we don't wear them, people are disappointed. It's like, you guys going to wear your short shorts? They say it like that. Yes, I guess. You guys going to wear your short shorts? Who are you running into? We don't take kindly to variety around here.

I've come accustomed to those short shorts, Alex. And when I see you in denim, that breaks my heart. What if they're denim shorts like the cutoffs? Yeah, you should reverse it sometime. We should do that. Yeah, mix it up. Noted. You guys should get some overalls, but with shorts.

We wore muscle shirts or tank tops with dress pants, just to flip it. That's interesting. Yeah, flip the script. Then we'd look like new kids on the block. Did they do that? New kids on the block. Menudo? Latina? Menudo was the Block. Menudo? Latina?

Menudo was known for... Menudo. That hot group of Latinas. They were known for dress pants and novelty t-shirts. Together. Novelty t-shirts. I was stupid. I'm out of bed dressed.

What more do you want, Mom? Keep staring, I'll do a trick. I'd do all my own stunts. I don't do Mondays. Remember those t-shirts that looked blurry? You'd read them and they'd be like, name another beer or something like that. They made you think they were...

Beer ones. Drinking culture of shirts. One drink, two drink, three drink, four. I remember the carnival where I grew up. There was a bunch of those. You grew up in a carnival? The carnival where I grew up. There was a bunch of those. You grew up in a carnival? The carnival I grew up in.

I was a carny. I didn't mention that. The carnival in my town. What was your role in the carnival? I was the one that was handing out the lame shirts. That was my job. Is that true?

No. No. They weren't that lame. Why'd you lie? Why'd you lie, bro? I was just trying to help this podcast out, you know? Yeah, someone around here needs to do it. Wait, are we recording?

Is this a bad one? I thought we hadn't started yet. Is this a bad one? No, no, no. It's good. Is this Dan Lyle-esque? No. I can only say that because he's in New York.

And they don't have the internet in New York. It hasn't gotten that far north yet. It's slowly crawling up the East Coast. In that podunk town, New York City. They might get it. It's just reached Pittsburgh, so they're still waiting for it. Dan's a kind soul. I always see him.

Doing that classic move. I kid. He's a good son of a bitch. I've probably seen him. He's a good guy, that Dan Lyle kid. I've seen him on the streets of Baltimore more since he since he's moved to new york than i have when he was living here i like saw him at like a laundromat i thought so i thought for a second like somebody else looks exactly like that and i was like now so you think it's just a scam

it's like going to new york he just wanted a roast what do i to do to get a roast in this town? I got to move. Threaten to move up north. I'll do it. Is it going to soon get to the point where I feel resentful that no one's roasted me yet? I don't know. It depends on you, really. Depends on how you feel. Dictate your feelings?

Please. Would you want a roast? I want people to care enough about me To trash you in public In front of an audience Have you ever had a surprise birthday party, Mike? Nope I know Josh has

I know I have Alex was there Hey, Mike Surprise Oh, you're going to roast me? No, it's your birthday We can roast you right now. All right.

All right. That'd be fun. Okay. Mike, you're a big, fat piece of shit. Hey, Mike. Oh, you got me good. Hey, Mike. Yeah.

You're a dyke. That's a good one. Hey, guys. Hey, you sons of bitches over here. Let me do another one. Hey, go ahead. Hey, revenge is a dish best served cold, but unfortunately, Mike Moran, my childhood bully, he really liked the deviled eggs I made him. Stop trying to shoehorn in your one-liner that you thought up.

Oh, yeah. All right, Josh, hit me. I can take it. Hit me. All right. Hey, Mike, those glasses don't really suit your face, idiot. Fucking idiot. Oh, my God.

All right. All right. You got me. Okay. idiot fucking idiot oh my god what did she say bam alright alright you got me okay feelings are starting to be hurt a little bit fire back

it's your turn it's the man of the hour Dan yeah that beard is so scruffy you make Patrick Duffy

look like Buffy damn we we fucked you up on that day. Talk about flippy script. Oh, flifty script. All right, Alex.

Flifty script. Biohazard. Alex, your rhyming skills are so unoriginal. You make vanilla ice. Aboriginal. Look like digital. Oh, we got him again. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Josh, your ability to press a button is so tacky that you make Marvin Gaye look like Lee Harvey Oswald. Am I right, guys? Damn. Killing JFK. We roasted the wrong guy. Oh, Jesus Christ. Roasted the wrong man. Burn. Who are you? That We roasted the wrong guy. Oh, Jesus Christ. We roasted the wrong man.

Burn. That's not Mike Moran. Burn. Guys, we roasted the wrong man. We've awoken a sleeping giant over there of cutdowns. The sleepy New York giants. Beast wakes up. Iron Man lives again.

We roasted the wrong man. Help. Uh-oh. This is a mask. Jen Tisdale. I'm going to write that down. You could shoehorn that joke into another podcast. Dear God, we've roasted the wrong man.

We've got to hide the body. I know who you roasted last summer. Look, everyone, we had to make a pact. We never roasted him. We meant to roast Fonazzo. We roasted Moran. And then you start getting letters in the mail that say, like, you're so blah, blah, blah.

Look, oh, my God. Oh, blah. Look, oh my God! Are you really putting that in your phone? Yeah, we roasted the wrong man. I see a future installment. You're going to come back to that in six months and ask someone at Chuck's to write a bit about it. Hopefully somebody will. Yeah, this is going up soon, right? Hopefully.

We'll see. For the next Jekyll Storm, which is on... When is it? Say it together. Tuesday, March 6th. Tuesday, March 6th. That was clean, guys. Good job.

For the next show, we're doing this new thing where're um trying to get the audience more involved with the comedy aspect right they just watch and clap and they react based on what right right they don't like take an act put your wieners outside but when you're inside get involved i think wieners outside your brain inside like follow along and talk totally that should be your that should be your motto and there's no distraction because what happens at all comedy shows? Guys playing with their dicks in the audience the whole time. Instead of playing with their brain and talking

and being an active member. Yes. Of the auto bar. I didn't know you had to be a member to go to a ChuckleStorm show. It's really fun to play with your brain. You should try it sometime. Anyway, so... As fun as it is to play with your wiener, try playing with your brain. Do you try it sometime. Anyway, so... As fun as it is to play with your wiener, try playing with your brain.

Do you have a ChuckleStorm card? Some anti-masturbation PSA. It sounds like the more you know. Like David Schwimmer saying that. If you think it's fun to play with your dick, try playing with your brain. The more you know. The read posters. Hey, kids.

So what we're doing is we're... Sometimes Dan and I have these bits that we write down and we never get to them. We write the title down and we don't write the premise or the details. We just forget what it means. Just dumb shit like we roasted the wrong man. Well, that's a bad example because that's one we're probably going to do. I had one I couldn't figure out that was courtesy decapitation, but continue.

Courtesy decapitation. I think I deduced it had something to do with Harry Carey. Rest in peace. So the first one was... So we have all these titles that we don't really know what we meant when we wrote them. And so we were asking people at the show. Pro move. We were asking people at the show to write out a sketch.

Sketch. Based on. Oh, yeah. based on oh yeah based on oh yeah oh yeah based on oh yeah oh yeah

the idea and so we had a really great submission by Mr. Cole Grinnell. Yep. Shout out. That's Cole. Cole. He wrote this awesome. Cole in here.

He wrote a script. We're coal mining right now. He wrote a whole script based on this thing, the horny versus normal fruit. And we, we did, we did it verbatim. Really? Yeah.

It was fun. And so, um, for this next show, yeah, we want to keep it going. The next one is, um,

the, you have to come up with a sketch based on a motto that gives you mano, a motto that gives you mano. So if any dig, big heads, uh, yeah. Want to big heads want to be writers... Want to be famous. You can email us

at chucklestormusa at gmail.com So there was a ChuckleStorm taken already? No, we chose ChuckleStorm USA. We love America. We don't want to be associated with ChuckleStorm USA. We love America. We don't want to be associated with ChuckleStorm Netherlands.

That's how email addresses work, right? You've got to put your chosen name and then your country of origin. Is there a European version of Dan and Alex out there on the other side? Don and Alex. Sven and Waldo. Sven and Waldo. Sven and Waldo. Chuck L. Storm. The Latina version.

Sven and Waldo. Is that how labeling works? What? Labeling people. Oh, sure. I don't see colors. Just add a stereotype and a shortcoming about those

people and yeah just go i gotta be careful what i say on here because last time oh yeah let me do a call out here well first that's wait what happened last time that song was a little much well here's what happened dan yeah i don't even know if i want to let this racist speak i don't know these fellas brought me on. I thought it was just an innocent, fun time where we just have headphones on and we're talking into a mic and we just say what we want. And these guys manipulated my words into making it seem like I believe the Holocaust didn't happen. I believe the Holocaust didn't happen. I believe the Holocaust didn't happen.

I believe the Holocaust didn't happen. Alex believe the Holocaust didn't happen. Alex just denied the Holocaust again. Oh, no! Did you hear that? God, I keep falling for this trick! Why, yes, you do. Let's talk more about Alex. Okay. Alex, do you want to tell us a little bit about yourself? Yeah. I'm Alex.

Four years young. I'm Alex. Alex Berslowski. The Holocaust didn't happen. Berslopski. Alex Berslopski. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. I'm Alex.

Berslopski. Alex Berslopski. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen.

The Holocaust didn't happen. I'm Alex. Berslopski. Alex Berslopski. Let's talk more about Alex. Berslopski. Alex Berslopski. I'm Alex. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. Alex Perslopski. Let's talk more about Alex. Perslopski. Alex Perslopski.

I'm Alex. The Holocaust Don't Happen. The Holocaust Don't Happen. The Holocaust Don't Happen. I'm Alex. The Holocaust Don't Happen. Alex Perslopski. The Holocaust Don't Happen.

The Holocaust Don't Happen. The Holocaust Don't Happen. The Holocaust Don't Happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Holocaust Don't Happen. The Holocaust Don't Happen. The Holocaust Don't Happen. The Holocaust Don't Happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. I'm Alex. Perslopsky. Alex Perslopsky.

I actually don't think that the Holocaust happened. Hey, the Holocaust did happen. But I'm sure at one point in the podcast you said didn't i'm gonna make a song not no i never said that so now you said never i want to make a again what's the opposite of did won't oh that's good the holocaust won't happen i like that you're saying like It absolutely will not happen again. Can we find an again in there somewhere? No, don't even do the again.

Just the Holocaust won't happen. Yeah. We should get Dan to do a rebuttal to your song. 9-11 never happened. He's just like, I will not let a Holocaust happen. New song, 9-11 never happened. That's my conspiracy theory. It never happened.

I don't remember there being towers there before. Ground zero is always Ground Zero. That's what they want you to think, man. That's what the Zero stands for. Zero Towers Forever. And ground, yeah, because it's just ground. Was it a building there? Think about it, stupid.

It's not Tower Zero. It's Ground Zero. Jumpers. I don't think so. Hell no. It's not Tower Zero. What else is going on with you guys? We can wrap this thing up.

You sound like a threat. You better talk or we'll wrap it up. Is that what you want? Is that what you want? Do you want us to wrap this thing up? We'll wrap it up. Clearly we did bad. I will wrap this podcast up and drive you right home. We won't go to King's Dominion. That's it. I'm wrapping this thing up and drive you right home we won't go to King's Dominion

that's it I'm wrapping this thing up I'm wrapping it up wait I would love for Dig Sesh listeners or Dig Heads I'm sorry to rate the shows I would too you know a great place to do that iTunes everybody in the comedy section of iTunes

you'll find the Digression Sessions podcast you can rate it on a scale of one to five stars. We prefer five. But we might be a little partial. That was great. Let me ask you this. Can they rate individual episodes? Well, let me...

I'll look into that. I will look into that. You know what? Why don't they just rate the entire podcast five stars and then find out from there if they can do it. Then every single individual episode, one star. Love the show. Hated every episode.

Great series, terrible episodes. It's like Seinfeld. Some of it's hard. I love everything else about the series except for the episodes. By themselves, they suck. It gives off a great aura. It's just the worst content. about the series except for the episodes. By themselves, they suck, but together... It gives off a great aura.

Content. It's just the worst content. Oh. Oh, boy. No, that'd be interesting because... Clever girl. Well, actually,

we're going to have a website up soon. It's going to have a forum where people can comment on each episode. Forum biome. Oh, yeah. Can we call the forum

forum biome? Forum bias. For his bias. Forum biome. For us biased. call the forum forum biome? Forum bias. Forest bias. Forum biome. Forest biased. Well, I was referencing FUBU. Yeah, I know. All right, here's a sketch idea.

Forest biased. Right. Forest biased. Forest biased? Forest. Forest? Like a tree? Forest biased.

Forest biased. I prefer somebody who judges everything against Forrest Gump compared to Forrest Gump. He's got a Forrest bias. Like a Forrest that's biased. He's a nice guy. I just don't think that he'd be able to keep my attention for two hours on a park bench. I mean, really, stories about his life. He had braces on his legs when he was younger.

Yeah. And he influenced Elvis. Give me a break. That's some bull. Showed his ass on TV. That's a false movie. And what about that time that he inspired the Danger Zone song? Mm-hmm. Careful, Mr. Loggins. That's a false movie. And what about that time that he inspired the Danger Zone song? Mm-hmm.

Careful, Mr. Loggins. That's a dangerous zone. Danger Zone, man. I'm going to make a claim that no movie can compare to Forrest Gump in a movie that you assume somebody has seen. So you meet somebody, you're going to assume that they've seen Forrest Gump. I'm saying no movie will ever take the reins.

So you're thinking Forrest Gump is just completely ubiquitous. The most universal movie. Basically what you're saying is Forrest Gump is the most popular film of all time. That's what he's saying. What about Big Mama's House 2? Or Big Mama's House 3? I didn't think about Big Mama's House 2? Yep. Or Big Mama's House 3? I didn't think about Big Mama's House 3.

I thought Big Mama's House 2. What about Space Buddies? I thought Big Mama's House 2. I didn't think Big Mama's House 3. Big Mama's House 3. Now I'm thinking. That was the thing that happened. Is that the tagline?

What about Adventures of Pluto Nash? That was the thing that happened. Here we go again. I believe it didn't have a 3 after the title. It was Like Father, like son. Big Mama's House, like father, like sons. Or was it like mother, like son? I like how judgmental you were when you said that.

It wasn't three, Josh. We're not talking about the Rocky movies here anymore. You silly, silly man. Do you guys think people would go see a movie that is marketed as, when they're talking about it in the commercial, they're already exhausted with it. Like, here we go again. Ooh, some guy's going to fall in love.

Martin Lawrence in a fat suit again. Snoop Dogg acting wacky. Look out, America. Madea's going to have a picnic. Let's bring out the square white people. She's going to go upside that ass. There's a fat guy dancing. And a foreigner saying curse words.

She's a bad role model. It's a recipe for wackiness. This summer. Two parts Madea, three parts fun. What a tagline. One part free will. They just leave it at that. Two parts, three parts.

There's a pie chart on the movie poster. Two parts, three parts. We should play the terrible t-shirt game. Two parts, three parts. That's the song. Two parts, three parts, dot, dot, dot. Two parts, three parts, dot, dot, dot. Two parts, three parts, dot, dot, dot.

Hooray! We should just do that for an hour and a half. What if we did the terrible t-shirt game but with movie posters? So what would you have to say the title of the movie? Yeah. for the podcast. What if we did the terrible t-shirt game but with movie posters? So what would you have to say the title of the movie? Yeah. Like somebody would describe what's on the poster.

That's a good guessing game. And you have to say what the title is. Right. Okay. Right. Want to try it? Yeah, we can try.

Okay. So do you want to go? Well, they probably don't know the game. No, I know the game. You have a terrible t-shirt. It's improv. Improv. Shut up. Look how big. game. I know the game. You have a terrible t-shirt. It's improv. Improv.

Shout out to Big. Oh, I fucking know improv. Shout out to Big. It's improv. Yeah. Baltimore Improv Group, y'all. What up? Oh, yeah.

Shout out to any new listeners we got off 98 Rock. Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, we got to be on the radio. Not for the podcast, but we plugged the show. We plugged that pod. I bet you this will be one Not for the podcast, but we plugged the show. We plugged that podcast. I bet you this will be one of the most popular podcasts because we plugged that joint.

Really? Oh, yeah. Like it was a damn... We were kind of making a joke about... Like it was a damn shame. We were kind of making a joke about how obnoxiously we were plugging it. Like after we like intentionally ran the podcast into the ground by like plugging it over and over

and over the dj was like uh so where can you find this podcast i'm like all right yeah it was uh i hope they post the audio soon but uh there before they went live on the air they're like um all right so just uh introduce yourself just go around you just say what you do in the band and one thing that people may not know about you. That's a really weird thing at 98 Rock. I never pictured... Why don't you tell us a fun fact about yourself? Welcome back to 98 Rock. Then the thing... Right before we went on, it turned into something

that no one knows about you. It's like you're racking your brain. We're confessing our sins here. Something that no one... That I've never told anyone. I wish that you had heard that it had changed to things that no one knows about you. So you thought it was just one interesting fact about yourself. So you said like, oh, I've got two dogs.

No one's ever known that about me before. I'm going to kill everyone here. In fact, no one will know. And so we just use that opportunity to plug stuff. That's cool. Mike plugged his comedy. We plugged the podcast. How many listeners are you expecting to get from just ballpark?

How many would you have? I'd probably say three ballparks. Three ballparks? So we're talking PNC Park, Camden, and RFK. Sure. I didn't specify those three. I'd say Wembley Stadium. Wembley.

Wembley, that's like 80. That's buck 80 people. I was thinking Wimbledon. You're expecting 180 people to listen? 180,000. Oh, my God. Yeah. Josh.

Yeah? You are ambitious. Hey, Josh, don't go chasing waterfalls. Yeah, you're going to die. Full circle. If you expect that many, you're going to die. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

What? Really? Oh, shit. Well, then maybe we should have been more conservative with our start. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Final destination. The inflated expectations edition.

Oh, terrible t-shirt okay uh well thanks a lot asshole host of the show Alex Broslowski over here making fun of my t-shirt oh that's terrible t-shirt alright

but we're gonna do the movie poster edition we don't have to we gotta explain it to Dan, though. So if I go to Alex here to my left and I just describe what's on his shirt, this is the Game of Terrible t-shirt, just say it's the Monopoly guy eating a taco on top of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. And then he would have to say what the caption of the shirt would say. A Tyrannosaurus Rex

with a boy on the side. That's your caption? You pretty much just rewrote. I'm learning the game. You know the game, Mr. Improv. You reordered the words that he just said. You rearranged the words. No, you say like Jurassic Park on a t-shirt.

On a t-shirt. On a t-shirt. Whatever they say, you just say, on a t-shirt. Well, actually, for the game you're trying to do right now, that'd be good. You just say the name of the movie on a t-shirt. Right. Okay, well, we're doing movie poster, Alex. It's going to be a poster. Yeah, these aren't promotional t-shirts that they gave away at the first screening.

Planet Hollywood. At Ming's Chinese Theater in Hollywood, California. So we're going to say what's on the movie poster. We have to say the movie title. And then you have to come up with the title. I thought we were going to do

already made movies. This is the worst improv ever. What? I thought we were going to. do already made movies you have to guess like what movie they're describing so it's like like a mentally challenged sitting on a park bench house three House 3. On a t-shirt. On a t-shirt. On a t-shirt. Farscup on a t-shirt. What a great movie. On a t-shirt. On a t-shirt. Oh, that's easy. Farscup on a t-shirt.

Next. I'm trying to open up a shop with just all movie posters and shirts. Sure, you've seen Madea, but this is Madea on a t-shirt. Have you ever worn Madea? This is the newest Madea. Stars Beta on a t-shirt. We could call it novel t-shirts. It's on a t-shirt.

It's Star Wars, but no, no, it's on a t-shirt. I get that you've seen Star Wars, but look at it on a t-shirt. No, it's a turtleneck you guys are talking about this as though they don't ever put movie logos on t-shirts like it's this insane idea I mean people have t-shirts of movies

take a step back and listen it's the movie poster on a t-shirt Jesus what's that again? You have the cast and the credits on the t-shirt. On a t-shirt. The whole fucking thing.

I don't appreciate this triple alliance against me over here. It's always a one. I thought we were going to team up on Earbuds Dan over there. Earbuds Dan on a t-shirt. Okay, you ready? I'm ready. We'll start here. Okay.

So you're going to describe what's on the poster. The movie poster. And you say the title of the movie. Okay, you ready? I'm ready. We'll start here. Okay. So you're going to describe what's on the poster, the movie poster, and you say the title of the movie. Okay. All right. There is a...

There's a man dressed as the crocodile hunter with two swords in his hand hitting globs of green slime as they're shot at him. They're deflecting off his swords, and he's topless. Ninja Dundee, triple X. Like Crocodile Dundee?

Movie poster, movie poster, movie poster. Movie poster. All right, Alex. Do you want to do me? Oh, yeah. I also want to tell you what's on your movie poster. On a T-shirt. Hello you want to do me? Oh, yeah. I also want to tell you what's on your movie poster. On a T-shirt. Hello?

Is this thing on? It's on. Oh, okay, good. All right. There are teddy bears dressed as people. Just regular people. Working in an office. Under the sea.

Okay. Eat, pray, love on a t-shirt. Okay, okay. Come on. Okay, I'll do it. Now, give Dan a poster. Can I ruin my turn? We're going to go back around.

Dan's going to give Mike one. We should do a second round. We're going to go around. We're going to go around. I'm just kidding. All right. I'm ready. I can delete all this.

You've got children weeping their father has left. I feel like it's on his belly, actually. What is the point of you pointing to his belly right now? It's like you're breaking it down. That's how you play the game. But we're doing movie posters. You should be pointing towards the wall.

It's a movie poster on a t-shirt. I forgot how the game works. Children weeping. Even in the game, you don't have to reach out and touch somebody else's torso. That's how we played it. That's how you connect. You guys should be looking at each other in the game, you don't have to reach out and touch somebody else's torso. That's how we played it. That's how you connect. And you guys should be looking at each other in the eyes the entire time.

There are children weeping. Soulfully. There are eight of them laying face up on a bed. It's a full-size bed. Eight of them can barely fit on it. Their father has left. He was an absentee dad. How are we getting in the backstory

the year is 1984 the dad the cold war rages on let me explain the dad is further up on the movie poster on a t-shirt he's a soviet spy he is doing bigger things with his life he is covering canyons. So there's a visual of a man with a telescope. He has a thought bubble coming off his head like, Holy shit! Canyons! What the hell is this? Well, the best part of the game is everybody has their own vision. It is canyons. Okay, Dan.

What the fuck do you call these holes in the ground? So there are eight children in bed weeping their fathers leaving, It is canyons. Okay, Dan. What the fuck do you call these holes in the ground? So there are eight children in bed weeping their fathers leaving, who is an absentee dad who has now gone on to bigger things such as looking at canyons. He's right above them on the movie poster on the T-shirt. This is called Why Did I Get Married Too. Why did I get married to these canyons? Why did I get married

to my work when I have all these kids at home? Why did I get married to all these children? Movie poster, movie poster, movie poster,

movie poster. I'm starting to really enjoy this game. Here we go. I know, me too. This is going to be an awesome round. Dan, you give Mike

a poster on a t-shirt. Point. There is a door. Just start describing his shirt. There's a door. There's a couple buttons. They're green.

There's a door that's open, slightly open. And peering in through it, it's like those montage with the heads that are above each other, like when people are looking around a camera. Right, right. The top one's Marsha Brady. Right. heads that are above each other, like when people are looking around a camera. The top one's Marcia Brady. The middle one is Mary Louise Parker. And the bottom one is Bill Cosby.

And Bill Cosby vomiting. Damn. On a t-shirt? No, this is... That's all on a t-shirt. Come on, man. Okay, the name of the movie is Reekin' Peekin'. Reekin' Peekin'. Reekin' Peekin'. Reekin' Peekin'.

Reekin' Peekin'. Reekin' Peekin'. Reekin' Peekin' on a t-shirt. On a t-shirt. That was a lot of fun, guys. And you can... We're not done yet. Big heads, you can do this at home.

Movie poster. You can do this at home if you want. And you don't need us. You know, we should have a contest where the winner gets a movie poster, the home version. We can give it away to the three biggest digheads getting movie posters, the home version. Send your videos of you playing terrible movie posters on a t-shirt. Send your videos of you guys playing this game to us. Yeah.

Set up microphones, a mixer, a laptop. We want to see your mixer. I want to see your t-shirt. We put on a database of known street harassers. Send us your videos of you recording a podcast

playing this game. Yeah, I want to see it. You actually have to be recording a podcast. Yeah. We want to see your t-shirts. Tweet us a hot pic at DigSeshPod.

All right. Anyone got nude pics? Remember in chat rooms? Oh, yeah. ASL. ASL. I used to lie about my ASL. ASL.

ASL. All right. There's a guy saying, I heart, and then a nine-inch nails symbol. And somehow he actually got the backwards N on there, and his screen name is Power Baton. Are you there, Trent Reznor? It's me, Dan Friedman. Oh, God.

ASL. ASL. ASL. ASL. All right. It's the Burger King, the king from the commercials. Uh-L. A-S-L. A-S-L. A-S-L. All right. It's the Burger King, the king from the commercials. And he's in an octagon, like an MMA-style octagon in hell. All right?

And you can see somebody entering the cage. You can't really tell who it is, but it definitely looks like Roy Rogers and Ronald McDonald's in the crowd and uh oprah is the referee have it your way with a headbutt in hell on a t-shirt that sounds like a good tagline for the film no that's the movie i understand i understand we're workshopping workshop okay we're workshopping i don't know whatping. I think if we did this long enough, we could come up with an idea for an actual feature film that we could produce ourselves.

What if we flip it and we do the movie title and then somebody has to describe the poster? Okay. This is fun, but we can try it. Oh, shit. Yeah, it could just be a chore. Like we do.

Maybe one of us could just be a chore. Like we do chores. Maybe one of us could go clean the oven. That's all you're saying? Maybe we could do chores together. Josh, trying to get our guests to do your housework again. Dan said it might not be fun. I'm thinking that could be a chore. That could be a task, not a fun thing. Right, yeah.

I mean, you can't just do fun stuff all the time. You won't get anything done. You got to put in the work. Hey, send us I mean, you can't just do fun stuff all the time. You wouldn't get anything done. You gotta put in the work. Hey, Dickhead, send us a video of you doing chores when you really want to do fun stuff. We want to see it, you guys. Come on. We want to see you do chores, but only when you want to do fun stuff instead.

Alex and I keep looking and pointing at the computer like the people listening are inside the computer. Hey, guys. Age, sex, location? Question mark? ASL. Hey, guys. Age, sex, location? Question mark? Remember that? A-S-L. A-S-L.

Oh, wait. Okay, that's what that is. Yeah, you didn't know what that... No, I forgot. Oh, really? Yeah. I'm really tired. Not to be confused with D-S-L.

Dicks up your lips. Or D-M-X. D-X-M. Mm-hmm. What is D-M-X? Which one was the rapper and which one was the drug? I don't... I never took D-M-X.

I took D-X-M when I was 15.? I never took DMX. I took DXM when I was 15. Me too. I vomited a lot. I never vomited. Should we talk about that? We can't talk about that. About you never vomiting? What's DXM? It's Robitussin.

Oh, you guys did the Robo-tripping. We did the teenage Robo-tripping. I never did that. No wonder we're so smart. We're sharp. He was disgusting these got you pretty I remember yeah It was weird. I had friends who did it a lot. I did it again I always what was the appeal is it just like let's get fucked up you trip I mean, it's almost like being on acid or something, but definitely messier.

I mean, you're 15 years old. You're doing chores when you want to have fun, so you decide to robo-trip. You're sending a video of you mowing the lawn, and you're like, I need to have cough syrup if I'm sending this to the Dig Sesh guys in the future. Yeah, right. They're going to know. You know we might be able to send messages back in time, like Twitter messages soon? I don't know how that'll work. What do you mean? Well, because they've discovered neutrinos that apparently travel faster than the speed of light

Neutrinos yep, which completely throws off Einstein's theory of Relativity no not relativity Speed or so what yeah, but that's the theory relativity is Based on that though. Okay. I don't know. Einstein was a chump. Digheads, if you disagree, send a video. Send a video of you disagreeing with me on that. Dig Sesh Pod on Twitter.

Come on, guys. Send those Twitter. If you could see Einstein boxing one person, whom would it be? Marie Curie. The Grinch. Dan, you didn't answer. Colonel Sanders. Now we're talking.

How about you, Mike Moran? Actually, I changed my answer to Whitney Houston. Chimp. Oh, that's topical. I had to do the too soon. A chimp? A chimp with boxing gloves. That's cool because Theory of Evolution. Right, yeah.

Is that what you were doing? No. Einstein doesn't have anything to theory of evolution. Right, yeah. Is that what you were doing? No. Einstein doesn't have anything to do with evolution. No, he's the smartest man. He's a science-y guy that's in old-timey pictures. Like Darwin, right? He was really smart, but he was bad at math. He had to have his wife check all his work.

Are you sure that's true? That's probably a myth. That whole thing about how he was a bad student. And he was a gay man. It was bullshit. That's what his wife said. He's Jewish. Wasn't he a Jewish gay man? Mm-hmm. Was he gay? No, he had a wife. I whole thing about how he was a bad student was bullshit. And he was a gay man. That's what his wife said. He's Jewish. Wasn't he a Jewish gay man?

Mm-hmm. Was he gay? No, he had a wife. I don't know if he was gay. No, he had a fake wife. That's also said about a lot of celebrities, too, though, that they're gay. Like who? Like Lance Bass? Clay Aiken? No, he's an astronaut. He's not gay. He's an astronaut. Mike Moran?

Mike Moran? The guy from Bravo? Mike Moran? That guy from Bravo? Mike Moran. Yeah. That's you? Yes. You didn't know that was me? That's me up there, like, hey, welcome to Bravo.

Bravo. Here's the lineup for tonight. Real Housewives. Yeah. That's me. Real Housewives, Baltimore. Mike Moran and that shit. Yep.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right, guys. Bravo. Oh, yeah. Real Housewives Baltimore Mike Moran and that shit Yep Yeah Yeah Yeah Alright guys Bravo Oh yeah I'm thinking about making that The new catchphrase Bravo yeah

Bravo yeah For old times sake Oh yeah Yeah Oh Yeah Alright That was fun

Alright guys Let's wrap this thing up What do you say Wrap it up. Chuckle Storm. You'll get your plugs. You can't even say goodbye before you start promoting. Bye Chuckle Storm. Dan and Alex promoting out of control over there.

Give us a kiss before you fuck us. Chuckle Storm. It's five bucks. Dan and Alex are to self-promotion what Morgan Freeman is to narrating. Always doing it. Always doing it. Always doing it. Always doing it.

Always doing it. Oh, right. Wrap-up music. Wrapping it up. Wrap-up music. Who wants to freestyle? All right, yeah, this is one thing we've been trying to do is have our guests freestyle.

Yep. It can just be, like, one sentence. It can be the worst freestyle. It doesn't even have to rhyme. But we prefer if it's excellent. I mean, if you want to do a good one, do a good one. But you don't have to. By all means.

I feel like you'd be good at this, Dan. Why? Why don't you guys try to rap? I don't know. Why don't we not talk about it? You're a wordsmith. Do you think you guys could battle real quick? Yeah.

Just a back and forth. We can battle real quick. Real quick. Where do you start? Let's could battle real quick? Just a back and forth. We can battle real quick. Real quick. Let's bring out real quick Baltimore's favorite MC. By Oh Hazard. MC real quick. Are we having a rap battle? Yeah, we're having a rap battle.

It doesn't have to rhyme. You can just... It doesn't have to rhyme? No. It doesn't have to rhyme at all can just... It doesn't have to rhyme? No. It doesn't have to rhyme at all. It will become rap. It's a rap battle that doesn't... That's called a debate, I think.

It will become rap in post-op, post-editing. Post-op. Post-op. Okay. Who's going first? You can go first. You go first? Is it in tempo with this music here?

Yep. This is it. I'm going to go like halftime. You want me to go halftime on this shit? Yeah, go ahead. Slow it down. All right, all right. Speed it up for me.

All right, let's see what we got here. Let's see. Sounds exactly the same. Yeah, it does. It's halftime. Did you do anything? Yeah. Did you do what he asked?

Alex, yes. I'm just worried about him. So here's normal. No, here's half. I'm pretty sure that's exactly the same. You just took out something. What are you talking about? I moved the snare. It goes from the snare being on the...

You just made the snare later. No, no, no, no, no. Look, you just turned the bass down one notch. No, no, no. Okay, let's really try to listen and see what he did. I think you guys are for the snare. Let's listen to what he did. All right, snare. Snare. See to listen and see what he did. I think you guys are for the snare. Let's listen to what he did. All right, snare.

Snare. See that? Snare. Snare. Snare. Snare. Snare. Oh, yeah, it's different, isn't it?

Dummy. Oh, it does sound different. Snare. That's what I was saying. Thank you, Dan. Dan's the only one that defended me. My God. Just now.

Yeah. The only one who's on my side is the only one that defended me. My God. Just now. Yeah. The only one who's on my side is the blood-sucking lawyer. All right, so which one do you prefer, you fucking assholes? I think you guys are just scared to rap. I'll go a little Wayne all over him. Just hit me with it. Just hit you? My friend is Alex.

He's got a little baby pee-pee. He lives inside of baby pee-pee. He lives inside of an Indian tee-pee. I've seen him walking down the street and he's such a little bitch. Thank you. Wow. Give me the other one. It's like eight mile up in here.

Who's cheese doodle? Which one of us is cheese doodle? Dan, listen up closely. Okay. Tell me when you're ready, Josh. I'm ready. Thanks. Okay.

One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. Oh, shit. I want to thank the guys that had me on, Josh and Mike. Thanks a lot. I want to also thank Dan. Way to go, Dan. You're the man. I want to also thank Dan. Way to go, Dan. You're the man.

I want to be clear. It's the sweetest breath I've ever heard. It's important to know the facts. You were late to the act. Now, listen here. So, Mike, wait. Got some snacks. Got some sacks?

Snacks. Snacks. We had snacks. We had fun. Now, go home. Snacks. We had snacks. We had fun. Now go home. Tell everyone. Oh, shit. I did that.

I did that. I did it. Are you ready? Dan and Alex. Alex and Dan. Everyone lives here in Japan. That is where we're recording from. So download and get your song.

Everybody loves Dig Sesh. Yeah, everybody knows you gotta be bad. When it comes to being good, I'm the best. Because everybody knows you will rest on it. On it. On it. On it. Oh, shit.

Onyx. Onyx. Onyx. Unfortunately, that's all the time we have for the rest. What? I don't think. You're not getting off that. Listen, guys the wrap-up. What? You're not giving up, Danny. Listen, guys.

Uh-oh. Guys. Joshua. Joshua. Guys. Listen, I want to wrap, but our producer's giving us the wrap-up thing here. So we've got to wrap up the wrap-up. He's giving you the wrap-up.

Now give him the wrap-up. Oh, shit. Give him the wrap-up. Oh, shit. DJ, spin that ass. Spin that ass. Come on, Josh. Let me slow down your snare.

You stay away from his snare. Dear God, we've roasted the wrong man. You see? You see now? All right, go ahead. This snare is going faster than a neutrino. I can't rap, just may hap I'll get up in that butt crack

Duh I see you wear glasses Is it because you like fat asses? Or is it just you're trying to placate the masses? I was trying to placate the masses I thought that's what it was Oh shit, Jagiel Nassif Elliot Spitzer Smile I thought that's what it was. Oh, shit. Jagiel Nassif. Elliot Spencer.

Smile. DigSesh 2012. If you're a vile, you'd be an ex. The truth is out there. I want to slow down. Get in your bear skin rug and roll in front of the fire till I conjure up your ire. That's good. I want to get all up in the mire.

Jerry McGuire misses out fire. He wasn't played by Tomem McGuire. He was played by Robin Williams. Bud Dwyer, that rap, yo. Not Swire. Featured on Esquire. Oh, what a sire. Alert the town crier.

That my house is on Esquire. Go on. Oh, what a sigh. Alert the town crier. That my house is on fire. Go, go. Yo, it's over the grease. I need community help. Rain fryer. She ain't lying. Cooking up hot wraps in the fryer. She's the daughter of Richard Fryer.

Oh, that's a fair. Dire straights. Masturbates. To John Cates. Tom Waits. And Tom Waits. Put it in a crate. Five plus eights. Don't Waits. Put it in a crate. Five plus eights.

Don't be late. Come to the date. What did I just ate? Let's be mates. What did I just ate? Norman Bates. What did I just ate? Don't feel it.

What did I just ate? What did I just ate? Coming to a theater this summer. What did I just ate? On a t-shirt. On a t-shirt. Best ending ever. All right.

What do you got? Better than the Dark Knight. Featuring Dan Lyle. Rest in peace. You will not rest until Dan Lyle. Dan Lyle rests. I won't rest until Dan Lyle's dead. Until he rests, I won't rest until Dan Lyle's dead. Until he rests, I won't rest.

I will not sleep until Dan Lyle rests. All right. All right. When is the next Chuckle Storm Brewing? Tell him, Dan. It's Tuesday, March 6th. It's two weeks from the time that we recorded this. It could be a different date when you put it up.

If you're tuning in now, we recorded this on February 21st. Everybody, send us a video of you listening live to this podcast. Are you sure you didn't put a blank tape in? Oh, shit, no. I put a CD-R in there.

Wait, are we recording? No. This has all just been for fun. So let's go live. That was a good warm-up. That was a good warm-up. Are we recording? No. What about now? This has all just been for fun. So let's go live. Now let's do some improv. That was a good warm-up. That was a good warm-up. Good warm-up. All right.

Mike, you got anything to plug? No. I'll be in New York the last day of the month. In case we got any big heads up there you want to hit on. What, what, what? There's a big show on Saturday that I will be performing in. This will be up after that. So great job on that show.

Thank you. I have a show Friday, and I did fucking awesome. You got to burp all the time. Reekin' peekin'. Did you guys get that? Because I thought it was genius. Reekin' peekin'? Reekin'.

We chanted it. Peeking. The smell from the puke. Recon. And they're peaking. All right. Well, Mike Fonazzo is recording his first live stand-up album. Where's that at?

Sunday, March 4th, 8 and 10 p.m. at the Sidebar. Both shows are free. You guys should show up. Get a bunch of digheads out there. Guess who's opening? Oh, yeah. Robin Williams. Andrew Dice Clay.

Yep. Yep. All those people, they'll be there. Heavy Metal Barney. Is Mike Fonazza opening? He's opening for himself. What? Why would that be crazy?

It's like your headliner is going to be fucking great tonight, guys. It's me. So just sit back. Have a good time. Let me go get him. I'll tonight, guys. So just sit back. Have a good time. He just like flips around and he makes that noise himself.

But he's spinning so it sounds like boom, boom, boom.