The Digression Sessions - Ep. 28 Black Guy From Canada w/ Ian Brown!

Episode Date: March 11, 2012

Hola Digheads! On this week’s show we have Canadian import and comedian Ian Brown. We talk to Ian about how he escaped the grotesque shackles of socialized medicine, Haiti, potties, the corporate world and most importatnly - how much he LOVES America! Listen and love it!  Check out Ian on the facebooks - http://www.facebook.com/BlackCanuck Don’t forget to rate, subscribe, and provide a nice comment on the iTunes! PLEASE! It’ll help the podcast climb the gosh danged charts!  [e-mail] @DigSeshPod @JKuderna @MichaelMoran10 @BlackCancuk

P-P-P-P-Potty. Potty. D-D-Potty. Pod. Potty. In the potty. In the potty. I'm in the potty.

Potty. Potty. It's like a dead mouse mix right here. It's a dead mouse. I'm in the potty. I'm peeing in the potty. Here we are in the potty. Potty.

Potty. Where you at, Mike? Let's get this potty started. I'm in the potty. Oh. I think I'm going to have a more relaxed intro here. We'll just start off with a little bass drum. It's mellowing me out.

I think I've got cotton mouth now. Oh, shit. Oh, oh. Freestyle out of this shit. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Potty.

Potty. Yeah, yeah. I'm in the potty. Are we getting into the freestyle? It's early. Oh, shit. Oh, oh. Freestyle out of this shit. Uh oh. Uh oh. Potty. Potty. Yeah. Yeah. Should we get into the freestyle this early? Yeah, let's freestyle. Oh shit. Ian, can you freestyle? Yeah, man.

I'm black, son. That was a stupid question. Yeah, we didn't want to ask. Yeah. Uh, uh. Yeah. I'm in Hamden with my boy Double M. And there is Joshy.

I got a peed in my potty Can you rip it down? Ian Brown's right here now On this podcast Look at my ass Because I'm in the potty Potty In the potty Potty

What you said now? Potty Potty Turn the beat up Joshy Joshy M squared Oh shit

M squared M squared Oh shit M squared M squared Came unprepared Uh oh, uh oh Uh oh, that's the last track from Whitney Houston right there R.I.P. R.I.P. Alright, welcome to the Digression Sessions podcast

Welcome everybody I'm Josh Kaderna Good night Sorry, continue R.I.P. R.I.P. Alright, welcome to the Digression Sessions podcast. Welcome everybody. I'm Josh Kaderna. And I... Sorry, continue. And I'm Interruptic. Oh man, our intros are solid every time. We should have a whole collection of intros released as a CD. Hey, how you doing?

Hi. Welcome to the Digression Sessions podcast. One half of your favorite pair of earbuds here. I'm Josh Katerno. And I'm Mike Moran. How the hell are you, everybody? What's going on out there? How you doing?

How you doing? What is the word birds? What's that? You talking to the ladies that, like, old-time speak? Like, couple birds, huh? Was that really slang for women? Birds? Yeah.

Really? Ian's nodding. See? A couple of, huh? Was that really slang for women? Birds? Yeah. Really? Ian's nodding. See? Ian knows. A couple of birds over there. Some fine birds at the party. A couple dames. Knock back a couple gins, watch a ball game, and flirt with a few birds.

Well, how are you, Mike Moran? I'm supposing I'm all right. Sipping on coffee in this workaday world. Swimming downstream. I'm above ground, so that's not too bad, huh? I am well. I am well. No complaints here.

Good. How was, you did some stand-up in New York recently? I did. How'd that go? New York City, not upstate. Upstate New York. You did some stand-up in Ithaca, I understand, for some reason. Is that what they're talking about in that song, New York?

New York, New York? No, no, the one by Jay-Z and the Washington Keys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're talking about upstate New York, right? Upstate New York! Indian reservations and middle-class houses. Yeah, exactly. Middle-class houses are made of.

Yeah, so how was it? Where did you do stand-up? A place called Eastville Comedy Club. Okay. I believe there should be a video of some kind. The Motorcycle Brothers put it together. They taped. I'm picturing a Hells Angels situation or something yeah it was it was like that uh that

concert that i got my dad yeah i picture guys that like sleeve with jean jackets big guts mick jagger hey i'll get this video up on youtube tomorrow for you mike the motorcycle club sorry i'm like yes sir that sounds good that. That's good. So what is it about? Are they like a production company or something? I think it's just a group of comedians that, you know, put together shows. I don't know if it counts as a production company. Right, right.

Gotcha. And you performed with past guest Russell Imwald. Indeed. And shout out to him. And shout out to my bros that came out to support me. Michael Normile. Mike Normile, past guest. Dan Lyle, past guest.

Nice. How's that? Did Dan Lyle perform? He did not. I wanted to get him on the bill, but I couldn't. Oh, bummer. How's he doing? He seems to be doing well.

Nice, nice. Yeah, hopefully we can get another show going with him. Yeah, yeah. When Dan's coming back to town soon, right? Yes. Right. As Alex alluded in the last episode, that Dan's been in Baltimore more often since he's moved out of Baltimore. Right, right.

We thought it might be like a, what was that movie, Falling Down? A situation like that where he's, they think he's at work every day. He's not. But he's secretly killing people and right stuff yeah that sounds like dan yeah good good well he came out luke my good friend luke came out and give him a shout out nice ryan quanti and leticia two good friends of mine from back in the day they came out wow you had a good size crowd there yeah i got pretty much all all of my my you know new york New York people were there. I was pretty happy about that.

So thank you everyone for that. Good deal. Good deal. Man, well, I'm glad you were well. I feel like shit. And why is that, Josh? Because you had five beers in nine hours. I am quite hungover. Quite hungover. I was at the bar.

Went for happy hour, you know, on Friday night. Have fun fun let's meet up at happy hour nothing wrong with that get there around 5 30 order some cheese sticks yeah get the cheese plate you know talk about the latest episode of parks and rec uh-huh you know you guys see the walking dead whoa what's going on and then uh yeah then uh my friends that i was hanging out with left and then some other improv people showed up. So I ended up just being at the bar for nine fucking hours. Wow.

And, yeah, I was pretty hungover. Did you go outside at all during that period? Not once. Not a once. I was just indoors drinking for a long time. I paced myself. So at the end of the night, I was still coherent and cognitive. And the bartender.

And when will you be publishing your first novel? That's what I'm working on now. So, yeah, the bartender, Eric, is like, holy shit, you were here when we opened and you're still here? We got to get you a plaque. This rarely ever happens. Holy shit. Nothing makes you feel more like an alcoholic than when someone notices your feats of intense strength. Stuff that should not be praised either.

Like, holy shit. Wow, you did all that coke? Damn, man. I've never seen anybody do a rail that big. You masturbated 14 times today? You slept the entire day. Wow. You ruined how many laptops with internet porn?

How many DUIs? Good for you, man. Good for you. Yeah, but after all that, it's like, holy shit, you've been here a long time, man. I got to buy you a shot. That's the last thing that I fucking need. Somebody's been at the bar for nine hours. You know what?

You need more alcohol. I'll take it. Let's do a shot. And exactly how many times were you mugged on the way home? Zero. Wow. Zero. You got God looking out for you.

I do. I do. But other than that, what else is going on? Nothing. Someone is going to be christened soon, I hear. A made man. What? A made man into the corporate mafia.

I thought you were implicating that I had a baby that I'm taking to a christening or something. I am. Oh, yeah. And there's the whole corporation thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is big news. We're going to bring Ian into the fold in a minute here. But big news.

Mike Fonazzo's first album will come out on Better Robot Records, which will be the record company of moi. See? And what was the inspiration for that name? I don't know. I was going to go with Lucky Goy, but some people were a little confused or kind of didn't get it. And then Better Robot was just an idea that came to me. Right.

Do you know what the word robot means, technically? Break it down. Slave. Yeah, Better Slave. Speaking of Better Slaves, Ian Brown on the show today. Yeah, Hybrid Slave, son. Hybrid, Ian Brown on the show today. Yeah, hybrid slave, son. Hybrid. We have a hybrid.

What's going on, Ian? Thanks for stopping by. Ian Brown. Hello, everybody. Hello. Canadian import, correct? Yes. The better slaves are in Canada.

Exactly. Did Canada have slavery? There were one or two slaves. Just one or two? Yeah. Just one or two? Yeah. Just one or two? Judging by the... Wow.

Slaves got to Canada. They're freed. Oh, that's right. Yeah, because you take the Underground Railroad up to Canada. Right. Pop out under the Detroit River. Uh-huh. They'd be like, what the hell?

You have to swim to the top. Black folks can't swim, so they just had a rope. Right. Across the river. They're kind't swim. So they just had a rope. Right. Across the river. They're kind of like, they're like, come on, sojourner. Can't you find a better stop for us? They just stayed. It's funny.

It's actually like a place called Windsor. You heard of it? Uh-uh. Windsor, Ontario. It's on the other side of Detroit. Uh-huh. Okay. Americans will go to Windsor to drink because they're drinking aging candles.

Oh, I've definitely heard of that. It's 18, right? Yeah. Didn't you do that once, Josh? Yeah, my friends and I went to Montreal, and we drank all fucking week and went and gambled, and it was great. Voted a few times. Yeah. Some of my friends were interested in hookers, I think is the word.

Yeah, yeah. I was wondering if you were going to say that. I wasn't going to let the cat out of the bag. You know, the cat. Wait, is prostitution legal up there? It's loose. More ways than one. No pun intended.

I don't think you have to be 18 to get a prostitute. Is it like Denmark or something? Think about Canada. There's some things that are just looser than the others. Right. Yeah. Like marijuana laws. Right.

Prostitution. Yeah. So you just don't. They're criminal, but they're not that criminal. Yeah. Right. Criminal slash party time. It's kind of, you know.

So what happens if you get caught with marijuana in Canada? Depends what color you are, kind of. Really? And where you get caught. Really? Yeah. If you get caught downtown Toronto and you have dreadlocks, you probably go to jail for a little while. Wow.

You get caught in a nicer part of Toronto and you look a certain age. You got your J.Crew on. Yeah, J.Crew. Right. Or you'll be all right. You'll just slap on the wrist. But technically, they can arrest you for marijuana. I'm picturing them actually slapping a wrist.

Like, come on. Don't smoke pot here. Move it along, you. You know better than that, boys. Run along now. Yeah, what part of Canada are you from, Ian? Outside Toronto. Outside Toronto?

A place called Ajax. Now, what territory? Ajax? Yeah. Toronto. Just like the powder you put in your... Weird. Okay.

It's a weird name. Toronto's... Is that near Lysol? It is. Shout out to Clorox. Pledge adjacent. Ajax needs some Lysol. Oh, boy.

Yeah, Ajax, Ontario. Uh-huh. So... In the province of Ontario. So what... Where is to discover? What the fuck brings you to Baltimore? Job, man.

Better slave. I told you that. Working real hard. They fired six black dudes for one me. Oh, wow. That's a good trade. That's good. Yeah, it's a good trade.

What are you working? You don't want to know, man. Urban planning. Why don't I want to know that? Is that a euphemism for something, Ian? No. It's a euphemism for putting houses as far away from each other as possible and building suburbs. You have to drive as far as possible and sit in traffic.

Right, right, right. Yeah, so the reason why you guys don't live in the suburbs, but the reason why most people live in the suburbs is because of urban planners. It's good for business. Like Josh knows, corporate. Two fat cats over there. Fat cats know that, you know, we're doing a secret Illuminati handshake right now, listeners.

Are you guys going to cut your hair and make a bunch of power balance? To the rock. The rock symbol is supposed to be Illuminati. Is it? No, it's upside down. According to Hammer. Satan? Yeah, he didn't like...

The diamond? Yeah. Where he rocks up? Hammer tried to make a comeback recently by attacking Jay-Z. Oh, because he's like a preacher or something. And he tried to say that Jay-Z was a Satanist and that the diamond symbol was a satanic thing. Yeah? Yeah.

MC Hammer is a preacher now? Yep. Yeah. He married Vince Neil. Who? What? I swear to God. They were on The Surreal Life together.

He married Vince... No. No. He didn't marry him like they live together and have children that they adopted. Very, very confused there. He married Vince Neil and his wife. I was picturing them just holding hands, both smiling like Vince Neil,

looking all drunk and blown. I'm so happy. We talk a lot about Vince Neil. We do. He comes up a lot. You think we can get him on the show? I doubt he has a lot else to do. If Motley Crue is between albums,

then I think he just plays video games and eats Cheetos. Yeah, we'll just promise him a hot plate and some pop-off or something. Oh, man. Yeah, so that's why I'm in Baltimore. All right, cool. How long have you been in Baltimore? Three years now.

Nice. Yeah, three and a half years. Yeah? How do you like it? Baltimore is different. It's another way of saying it. Another euphemism. There's a lot of brothers out here.

There's a lot of brothers. You're not used to that in Canada? Not as much. Right. Does it freak you out that there's so many African-Americans around? Yeah. Really? In Canada, you take responsibility for every black man because you probably know them or you're related to them.

But over here, like. That's how I feel about white people here. I'm the same way. I got to check up on Mike. Yeah. You know, everybody with brown hair and glasses. I'm like, hey, my man. Right.

Right. Are you doing the right thing? You are? Okay, great. Yeah. Did you notice everybody that was like at our table last night looked like us? Like every male looked exactly like glasses brown. Yeah, at the bar last night.

That was getting a little embarrassing. I didn't even know those people. Right, yeah, like Scott, our friend Scott, who has shaggy brown hair. Everybody had art fag glasses and kind of the emo haircut. I know. Or the hipster haircut. Yeah, I need a haircut. I need a...

I'm at that phase where I want to have a grown-up haircut. I kind of want to slick it back. You're a corporate dude now. Slick it back. Not like... Into a ponytail? Yeah, I want to wear a ponytail. Oh, really?

No. No, like I want to trim up the front and actually just have like a nice little... Tell Mr. Terizaki the deal is on. I say Deutschmarks, you hear Franks, you're fucking fired. Giant car phone, your Ferrari. Art Deco on the wall. I don't fucking get out of bed for less than five million. You jag off.

I have two Bluetooths. Just walking around. Touching each side. Two watches. No, you need one of the old style. Yeah, one's on England time. You need one of the old style Bobby Brown headsets. Bobby Brown.

Just have a cell phone with a rubber band on my head. I got this. I got this. All cell phones have good connections, though. Do they really? Mm-hmm. Because the antenna, right?

Antenna. Yeah. Why can't we bring back those antennas? They're in the phones. It's just they wrap them around in the phone now. Yeah, I didn't know that.

Josh. Well, then why? I'm in the corporate world, guys. I was just talking to Steve Jobs. You guys think he's dead, but we're actually in a secret circle of very close corporate Illuminati. Yeah, exactly. You guys think he's dead, but we're actually in a secret circle of very close corporate.

Illuminati knows exactly where he is. We were at the Illuminati Country Club the other day. It's really nice. It's really nice. You ever hear Alex Jones talking about his series? Isn't it funny? It's like the redneck talking about his series. Hey, man, Bilderberg Group.

He's so passionate osama bin laden's been dead for four years and i have the documents right here right here now i've been told you know he's like so passionate about everything i like alex jones man yeah do you i like that he's out there you know sort of like his personality but yeah i don't i don't really believe his conspiracy theories i don't believe every single one of them. Every time he makes a prediction, it fails to materialize. Yeah, I don't know his predictions and stuff. Yeah, the one thing that he talks about that does freak me out,

have you guys ever noticed in the sky, you know how planes will leave? Chemtrails. Yeah, man, chemtrails. Chemtrails freak me out. That's one of his big theories, and it makes sense, too. There's a guy named Alex, hmm, Alex Watt the canadian alex jones really and he has like he doesn't have his answer to southern accent does he have an english accent he's an english dude who's just like what is the deal with british accents and heritage and stuff i can't

quite put my finger on it. What do you mean? What the hell is going on up there? In Canada? Yeah. Yo, man, the English. It's mostly French, though, right? Okay, so French.

Quebec. Yeah, Quebec is all about the French. The French started to get kind of freaky and went biracial, just like you, Mike, a little bit. And they linked up with the natives, and they're called, like, Métis, and they're, like, spread throughout the country. Métis? Métis, yeah.

Métis. Yeah, Métis. And then, um. All right, Métis. But the French are really mostly in Quebec. And everywhere else is pretty much English. Actually, yeah, there's all kinds. Like, some northern Ontario, there's, like, a lot of Scandinavian folks.

Do people, like, kind of identify with their European heritage still? Yeah. Because in America, we don't really. Yeah, I guess. You're just southern or you're western or you're northeastern, but nobody's like, oh yeah, they're a bunch of you know. Limeys. Yeah.

In Canada, people identify. If you ask someone where they're from, they usually will say, okay, of course you're Canadian. Then they'll say, like, my mom's from. Hold on, Ian. I got to get you on. Again, closer? Yeah.

Yeah, there you go. Sorry. They'll say, like, my mom's from England. My dad's from Scotland. Right. My mom's from Ireland. If you're, like, a black dude, you're saying the West Indies or something like that. Is Canada, like, that young of a country that everyone's, like like kind of the son or daughter of an immigrant?

Yeah. Really? Straight. Wow. Yeah, you're probably son or daughter of an immigrant. It's funny because there's a place called Nova Scotia. If you go to Nova Scotia, there's a whole bunch of black. Like, okay, I went to Nova Scotia a few years ago and there's a place called like

Cherry, it's called like Cherry Hill. I don't know what it's called. Cherry something. Cherry Brook, something like that. And there's a whole bunch of black folks there, but they're not like West Indian black folks.

They're black folks that kind of went up there after the American revolution. Right. If you want to fight on the English side, they would give you a piece of land or allow you to go up to Canada. Wow. So they would run up there. So they're like black dudes from America living in Canada. So you'll go there and it'll be like

rocky, kind of farmland-ish kind of stuff where people would be pushing Cadillacs on dubs. So they're like Canadians. But they've been disconnected from America for 200 years. Yeah, but it's in their blood. Dubs are just in your blood. So it's just like... I got dubs in my blood! Dubs in my blood yeah that's a

nice song right there but look out for that classic it's gonna be on better robot records yeah man like you guys are making for like the 1920s this morning i was like earlier on the podcast i was like i don't know if in the 1920s it can. I don't know what it looked like. It was probably just a few Ford pickup trucks. Was it like super wilderness? You know, like mountain men living in cannons. Yeah, man. Now it's getting built up in Toronto.

And eating raccoons. Deer, yeah. Setting up wolf fights. Beavers. A lot of beavers getting hunted. The French dudes are all about hunting beavers. Yeah, beavers getting hunted the french dudes are all about hunting gotta get them pelts yeah and getting pelts man and beating seals on the head what are beavers like in the wild they bite you i don't know brother i don't i've seen one or two beavers and they didn't bite actually i'm scared of everything just you know right there's something

in my blood that just my reaction to things now is more relaxed. But growing up... Is it the dubs in your blood? The dubs in my blood? Okay. I just want to make sure.

I just want to make sure. There's a whole bunch of skunks where I'm from. Beavers are rare. And yeah, man, skunks mostly. Raccoons all over the place. Tigers. Tigers and bears.

Elephants. Anaconda. Anacondas, yeah, you know. Pterodactyls. Pterodactyls, hey. We all rode pterodactyls to school in Canada. Polar bears. What about polar bears?

It gets pretty arctic up there, doesn't it? Yeah. No polar bears, though. Bears. up there doesn't it yeah no polar bears though bears penguins penguins not really any any else those are the only arctic animals i know seals seals seals yeah they're seals it's the is the performer seal popular up there the performer seal it's like a tire what do we you mean? No, no. Seal, the singer. Married to Heidi Klum. Of course, man.

Seal's my boy, yeah. That's a cool black dude, man. That's a cool black dude. I think he's from somewhere in Africa. Is he? I think so. He's a good-looking brother, though. Yeah, yeah.

He was a woman's Heidi Klum. Yeah, man. Well, they're divorced now. I think they're just doing that for marketing and stuff, man they're coming out with like a new divorced clothing line or something i just know that his career is like okay i have to drop an album i need some heat well yeah divorced like one of the best looking white women in the world right but what has he done since that batman song no i think his career kind of fell off i remember he released like a couple albums after that that didn't make it. I remember seeing one of the videos once.

Right. I mean, he has Crazy, that song, and then he has the Kiss from a Rose, whatever it is. Kiss from a Rose on a Plane. Yes. That was a good one. Yes. He's raising kids, man. That's what he was doing.

Oh, that's true. I think he did a cover of Fly Like an Eagle. Yeah, he does have a cover. I think maybe that was his last hit. Right, kids, man. That's what he was doing. I think he did a cover of Fly Like an Eagle. Yeah, he does have a cover. I think maybe that was his last hit. Right, right, right. And he's out after that. Yeah, that's not even his hit. I know.

That's a song that's already a hit. Right. He pretty much did it. I'm kind of surprised more stars that are on the wane don't cover songs to just get one last. Well, I guess you don't really make any money from that, though, because pretty sure you oh well not as much because all the profits go to the original not all the profits almost all i'm sure you have a portion corporate guru yeah uh are you a corporation yeah do you have a record label she's right are you a part of the build a bird group josh is josh durner part of the billboard Josh Turner bought a Builder Burger. Did you think your penis had touched Steve Jobs' penis?

No, you didn't. I didn't see it. He's taking his Peter out. Nobody wants to see that boy's Peter. Were you at the Builder Burger lunch on the moon on Tuesday? No, you weren't. I was. Builder Burger lunch on the moon.

I was there. Did you take your Ferrari spaceship to the moon? I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. All right, let's get back to Ian. So what is your heritage thing? Because I noticed a little bit of an accent. Yeah, man.

My heritage is a little bit of Haitian, a little bit of Jamaican. A little bit of country. A little bit of rock and roll. A little bit of Monica in my life. You guys are pretty hip with it, aren't you? Yep. We make some references to stuff. Oh, yeah.

We know all about Ludvega and whatever else the kids are listening to. Oh, yeah. Ludvega. Ludvega. So, yeah, a little bit of that. Parents. So my mom is, like, Haitian, so her roots probably go, like, West Africa, maybe somewhere else. And my dad's like, he's Jamaican, but there's like some Irish in there and like some Jewish dude. Yeah.

And like an Indian dude named Khan. What? Yeah, he's like my great grandpa. Umar Khan is your great grandpa? Umar Khan is my like third cousin, straight up. Wow. I believe it. His name was Khan.

In Jamaica, you don't even have a last name. His brother's name was Pro. Oh, I like that. You got kids, how's that? There's a pro and a con. Here comes the frozen cat. So how long have you been doing comedy?

Strong, like going hard at it. Probably three years, three and a half years. So you didn't really do it in Canada? I did it once in Calgary and it was good. It started off good. It ended off poorly, man. Was it an open mic night? No, it was like a... Yuck Yucks is the big

club in Canada. Yeah, yeah. Aren't there a bunch of rules a yuck yucks is the big club in like canada yeah yeah aren't there a bunch of rules at yuck yucks like you can only perform at yuck yucks and not other clubs right stuff like that like you have to basically sign a contract with them exactly yeah it's pretty you go on the road and it's hard i heard and yeah yeah they can like sue you up there if you perform somewhere else yeah yeah when you're on the the yuck yuck circuit i heard it's pretty tight like you just go to yuck yuck yuck yucks rooms you can't do anything else yeah yeah when you're on the the yuck yuck circuit i heard it's pretty tight like you just go to yuck yuck rooms you can't do anything else yeah yeah yeah so um yeah yuck yucks i performed there for like a contest in calgary i did a few good jokes that were about like um the highway there a few jokes about like the sudanese immigrants that were there and then i went and then i went

to a wide that's a wide range yeah i highways what are these fucking immigrants what was the one you had that was i i thought was brilliant about the uh cannibalism oh man i can't okay so that joke's actually better now it's just talking about like i don't know if you guys know, but there's a big homosexual push in Africa. Uh-huh. Right, yeah, because that's crazy. I don't know. You get blacklisted. They'll kill you if they find out you're gay. Right, right.

So you get blacklisted. But I just thought that it's funny because Africa is the best place. I thought it would be a great place for homosexuality. You're already skinny. So you don't have to wear tight jeans. You know what I mean? You just get't be out there you had another one where you're like they've got other problems to worry about oh yeah i can't say

that one yeah africans get angry when i say really we don't have any listeners in africa thank god so i'm just talking about how you know they have other issues, and one of their issues is cannibalism. So, okay. If you say, you know, eat a... If a comedian bombs, a comedian usually says they ate a what, Mike? What did they say? Dick?

Right, right. In this part of Africa, it means... You literally... With ketchup or mustard. How'd it go last night? I ate a dick. And then I ate another dick. Right.

They're so delicious. I gorged on this. Those German ones are sauerkraut. Yeah, speaking of your parents and your heritage and stuff, you had a really good joke about your parents as well. I saw you at Chuckle Storm the last show. Speaking of your parents and your heritage and stuff, you had a really good joke about your parents as well. And you're saying, I saw your chuckle storm the last show. Yeah, man. That was a fun show.

Yeah. What was it? You're like, my dad's from Jamaica. Oh, dad's from Jamaica. You're saying how they ended up in Canada. Dad's from Jamaica. Talks about how he saw the Canadian flag, had a leaf on it. And a lot of Jamaica, yeah.

That's stereotypical. And then your mom. mom's from haiti because like you're from haiti like really you get that you get out when the kid's good she got a long time ago right right she hasn't been back yet man it's that's all right though yeah just getting worse haiti's insane yeah they still have slaves in haiti like it's yeah it's crazy yeah i would imagine economical times like like Haiti's having, you can get a slave for cheap, man. Yeah, that was... Well, it's not legal to have slaves.

Yeah. I mean, it's legal to have... What type of legality do you think is happening in Haiti? But it's not like people are being forced into a slave trade. They just have to work for slave wages. No, no. Apparently, it's just a common practice if they're orphans or something.

A family would just take them in and they'd have to do all the chores and work really hard. I've heard about that happening in Africa. They're called rest of Asia. Yeah, but it's really big in Haiti, and then it got even worse after the earthquake because there were so many displaced children. Right, straight up. Yeah, they didn't have anywhere to go. Human trafficking freaks me out worse than anything else. Josh is just such a loving corporate dude, man. Yeah, that's the thing.

It breaks my heart that I can't have slaves. Tom from Tom's Shoes. Exactly. I'm going to base my operations out of Haiti now. Free slaves, huh? That gives me an idea. But kidnapping is a big thing happening in Haiti now.

One of my friends just came back from there and they're kidnapping people a lot. So if you're, like, by yourself, you have, like, an envelope of 200 bucks. You heard about that? Yeah. You have an envelope of 200 bucks, and some, like, dudes will be kind of, like,

walking behind you a little bit too close. You just start running. They start running. You take out this envelope of, like, 100 bucks. You throw it on the ground, and as they run for the envelope, you just take off. Whoa.

You have to carry diversion cash with you. Hey, man. Wow. That is insane. That's how they get down in Haiti. That's how they get down. Jesus Christ. Have you been to Haiti?

Nope. No. Don't want to go, huh? I want to go a little bit. I want to be on a boat that's going by it when I'm on a cruise. I'll take a look at it from afar. There's a place called Labardy, which is really nice, I heard. Port-au-Prince, not so much.

I heard it's a nice island. My mom thinks it's beautiful. She says it's beautiful, but like... I don't know, man. We got... Let's see what happens, man. Let's see what happens when Josh corporate things kind of go there. Whatever happened to wyclef becoming the president of haiti uh couldn't happen turned out he i think he stole a bunch of money from his foundation did he really yeah that's what i heard too yeah

he got in trouble for like illegal spending and that's it drives me nuts is there any good news about haiti no can you tell me one good thing that's in relation to haiti no like all that money that people like you know like text this and send ten dollars like you're like oh now i feel good turn on 60 minutes like all your money went to white club jean's fucking shoe habit or something like what about the haitian revolution that was that was pretty impressive yo man he's your evolution where is that man everything after that that's what happens you can't beat down the french like so early in the game you know i mean that was pretty impressive yo man Haitian Revolution where is that man everything after that pickups that's what happens you can't beat down

the French like so early in the game you know what I mean that was like a bread basket right right right and then you beat down the French

and you burn yeah and there's like a song my mama sings I don't know why she knows this song still but like cause she wasn't really there where the revolution happened

but there's a song that's like singing like hi we're burning your ships down bye white man we're burning all ships down. Bye, white man. We're burning all kinds of stuff down. You're lucky we didn't kill you. We had a chance.

Go home. Napoleon wasn't feeling that song. They changed white man to Wycliffe. Yeah. Now the white man is Wycliffe. So, yeah. So the Haitian Revolution. A lot of people think the reason why Haiti is in such a bad state is because they beat down the French so early and they had to pay back the French like billions of dollars.

Right. Why? Or gold. Because the French lost property. You know, brothers used to be property back then. Yeah, but it was a revolution. I mean, they kicked them out. Yeah, but for them not to have all these like, what is it? They had all these, what is America doing to Iran right now?

Not barricades, but like you're stopping anything. Blockade? Blockade, right. It's like an economic. Oh, embargo. Embargo, right. There you go. They had a big embargo where the French Navy was like circling Haiti, keeping people out.

So brothers are like, all right, how can we get this embargo lifted? Oh, I see. So they had to cut off mahogany trees, sell the finest women. I don't know. So back then, an embargo involved actually physically keeping people

from coming to the country. Yeah. Damn. You know, so yeah. French hold a grudge. They should have just put a bunch of... Come on, guys.

They should have put a bunch of really violent sharks in their waters. Yeah. I think they still have them. Not enough shark warfare In history

Why didn't they think of Like cool stuff like that Throw a shark on a boat Or like really violent Chimpanzees or something Laser Laser eyed sharks Yeah

Wow It sounds like It sounds like we're getting To like a really bad Horror movie Like snakes on a plane Or something Like we got a boat

Full of sharks What's the worst That could happen Misa me On these sharks On the plane Something's gone wrong. These motherfucking sharks on these motherfucking ships.

Paris, we have a problem. Samuel Jackson. A shark problem. Remember, Samuel Jackson was in a shark movie and he got eaten. Deepest Bluest. Yeah. Samuel, yeah, and LL Cool J. Yeah.

There's a good scene, too. What, he got eaten? Yeah, man. He certainly came out of left field. Yeah, it was a good scene, too. What, he got eaten? Yeah, man. Certainly came out of left field. Yeah, it was. He's like, we need to use something deep. The shark just goes, like, over top of him and just swallows him whole. The shark worked for Toastmasters. You said too many alms and ass in that sentence.

You know, Josh here has never seen the film Jaws. Never seen it. I think I haven't really seen it either, Josh. Oh, my God. We got a new guest for the Jaws party. Yeah, we're going to have a Jaws party, Ian the film Jaws? Never seen it. I think I haven't really seen it either. Oh, my God. We got a new guest for the Jaws party. Yeah, we're going to have a Jaws party, Ian. Is Jaws any good? Are you kidding me?

Jaws is one of the... I know Jaws being signed. Be fun if you said it sucked. Really? No, it's awful. I'm just kidding. It's one of my favorite films and one of the best movies ever made. Okay, you have to go.

Okay, only way I will see that and only way Josh, even though he's a corporate dude, he doesn't have too much time, is if you go to a theater filled with black dudes from Baltimore. Because they would keep it real. Really, Josh? I didn't know that was part of it. That's how I have to see movies nowadays. Yeah, because they would let you know what's going on. They'll let you know if it's good.

I saw Mission Impossible 6, whatever, the newest one, Ghost Protocol or something. Ghostface Killer? Yeah, Ghostface Killer. That's the Mission Impossible 6. And before, when the movie was going on, you remember when, I don't know if you guys saw it, but like, who's the white short guy in the movie? What's his name? Tom Cruise? Yeah.

Tom Cruise is hanging from a building, and then all the dudes, and they're like, nah, man, that's not real, man. That's not real. Get out of here. Man, that's not real, man. They ruined it.. Get out of here. Man, that's not real, man. They ruined it. They didn't ruin it. I thought it was actual footage. Yeah.

I thought so, too. It's a documentary. Right. Watching Toy Story. Man, toys can't talk. Cut the film off, man. Come on. Uh-uh.

Barbecue's. Uh-uh. Come on, man. So, yeah, I can't really watch it. Even in the Caribbean, it's the same thing, man. It's wherever you go. Like, the Caribbean, I was watching, what movie was it, man? I think it was some kind of scary movie, and they're just, like, they're messing the movie up.

They're just like, nah, man, that's not real, brethren. That's not real. Get out, man. Get out. How they just don't believe they'll be in situations like that. Jaws? Brothers will never see this. This isn't historically accurate.

Nah, man. Me not know what. They just move on. Shark couldn't technically do that. Jaws? Brothers will never think that. This isn't historically accurate. No, man. I mean, I know what. They just move on. Shark couldn't technically do that. Oh, man. So, yeah. Go check it out.

Yeah, I'd like to see Jaws. That's a great movie. Fill that theater up. Give me a ring on my old Bluetooth. Let me know it's filled with African-American folk. Straight.

Rolling with the red carpet. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, please. Please. I don't walk carpet. Uh-huh. Oh, please. Please. I don't walk on any. Only valet parking, yeah. The only carpet I walk on is red. I have a rule.

I'll bring my own if I have to. I don't like it, but I will. All right? All right. You and Amanda roll up. She's wearing like a big fur, big gold earrings. Mm-hmm. As much haircut.

Right? Like the huge nails. And there's like no one there to care there's a there's a good onion article it was uh it was brad pitt and angelina jolie show up to the oscars red carpet 12 hours early just to get a good spot and they had a good photoshop picture of them just like sitting on these fold-out chairs like in the middle of the road like getting ready um yeah when we went and saw uh batman begins uh i went and saw my friend ryan and the first time we saw it was at the rundell mills theater oh yeah theater was uh full of african-american folk holla at your boy and uh the girl like anytime anybody just opens their phone to like send a text in the theater it's so bright because it's already so dark.

It just illuminates everything. So this girl is, like, texting the whole time. It's super annoying. During the movie, she made two phone calls. Not in she received calls. It was like, hey, I'm in the theater. I'll call you back. She made phone calls in the middle of the movie.

It was insane. What were they about? Nothing. She just goes, what are you doing? I'm in the theater. Yeah, it's a movie. What were they about? Nothing. She just goes, what are you doing? I'm in the theater. Yeah, it's a movie. What the hell is going on? And then we went to go see it again, and this little kid ended up sitting next to Ryan and ruined the movie for him again.

The little kid was like, is that Batman? Where's Batman? He's like, I don't know. Like anybody that would come on the screen is that batman that's where batman begins yeah yeah i could see a girl pulling out her phone i like that because the beginning when he's like with the rosh ray shagul yeah yeah he just like training and that could get somewhat boring i liked it i thought it was good it didn't have a lot of batman i love bat. I love all Christopher Nolan stuff.

Yeah, yeah. Fucking Batman this summer is going to be the shit. Yeah. I'm really excited for that. We should get a big group to go. See, we should see the midnight showing. Ooh. Yeah, I've never seen an IMAX movie.

Have you guys seen an IMAX movie? Yeah. Like a movie in IMAX. No, I never have. Is it worth the hype? Not really. No? Right.

Actually. I've seen like old educational movies. Yeah, it is worth the hype. The last, the only movie? Right. Actually, I've seen like old educational movies. Yeah, it is worth the hype. The last, the only movie I saw at IMAX was Jordan, Michael Jordan.

Okay. That's when, like back in the day. Right, right, right. It was off the chain. Nice. Was it 3D? That was back in the day.

Before the 1950s. Before the 1950s, yeah. It was Michael Jordan, star athlete. It was a silent picture. Right. On the Negro basketball circuit. This is in Canada. It was just Jordan, star athlete. It was a silent picture. On the Negro basketball circuit. This is in Canada. It was just a black dude.

It was a guy telling you a story about Michael Jordan. He was on a rocking chair. Well, it's like, man. Being investigated by the FBI. Fella bounces a ball and puts it inside a hoop out here. What's your name? My name is Isaac Max. Oh, I Max.

Okay. I Max will tell you this story. That's what they do in Canada. We get stuff a lot later than you guys, man. Do you really? What? Yeah, man.

For real. It sounds like you live in Eastern Europe or something. Yeah, it could be. It is Eastern Europe. People copy DVDs on the street with covers that the person drew with a marker.

Nowadays, we're getting a little bit better. But for a long time, we used to get a lot of things after you guys, man. So like Limp Bizkit's huge in Canada right now. Limp Bizkit's huge right now. Good, good. Well, you gave us You Can't Do That on television. So thank you for that. You're welcome.

You're welcome, man. I made that just for you. It rings a bell, but I don't... Nickelodeon? You can't do're welcome man Jim Carrey I made that just for you It rings a bell Nickelodeon You can't do that Yeah you can't do that Is there slime in it Yes

Okay yeah yeah We did that I think that's where the slime Yeah man We were kicking butt with slime That's like Canada's Just gifted the world Slime

Yeah that's where A set was on it Yeah if you go to Canada's website It's like Canada We invented slime You're welcome world Is Brian Adams still popular in

canada um not really brian adams okay it's like canadians don't really give other canadians that much props period is that like is that why they all come come to uh come to america you make it you still beautiful country of ours they still don't really care about you that much. Like Mike Myers, he's from like Toronto, like Scarborough, which is like the Baltimore of Toronto. All right. Yeah. So it's kind of hoodish, but like they show him love. And there's like Mike Myers' street. Jim Carrey's from, I forget what that place is called now.

I haven't been to Toronto in like a while now. Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan, for example. Yeah, whatever. Saskatchewan. Is that named after Sas for example. Yeah, whatever. Saskatoon. Is that native to Sasquatch? I think so. That's where the Sasquatch is from. Yeah.

Really? The natives were looking for Sasquatch. And like, you know what? He's probably somewhere around here. Let's just fucking move here. I don't even care if he's here. I love this place. Right.

I came for the Bigfoot. I stayed for the lush green. Right. The prairies. Justin Bieber. Thank you for that. He's from The prairies. Justin Bieber. Thank you for that. He's from Canada? Yeah, Justin Bieber.

Why are there so many comedians from Canada? Because there's a lot of things funny about being from Canada. I'm tired of these Canadian immigrants coming and taking our jobs. Hey, man. It's hard. Be the racist comedian.

I'm tired of all these immigrant comedians taking our jobs. Yeah, I don't know why it is. I don't know. There's nothing funny about being from Canada, I guess. Yeah. Well, there's nothing to do. Like, growing up, for example, right? For me growing up, BET came out in Canada, like, in 2001.

Really? So, for a long time, all I had is like slime, like YTV, and like Benny Hill. Benny Hill? Like, yo, yeah. I was getting that like in 96.

It was hot. The streets were calling out Benny Hill's name in 1996. You're rolling down the street listening to that song. Like, oh man, Is that the new Jack? Yo man So we got things a lot later You're chasing broads

Through different doors All throughout Canada Going from igloo to igloo So yeah man We got things a lot later And there's a mixture of like The English influence The French

There's like a big show Growing up It's like a French car That talk It's a mixture of the English influence, the French. There's a big show growing up. It's like a French car that talks. It's like boom, boom. It's like boom, boom. Boom, boom. Do, do, do, do, do. It's all these fusions of cultures. It's funny, guy.

I think there might be... And we didn't get American media for a long time. We got American media in 2001, 2002. Really? Not at all. Rarely, man. Weird. Even NBC, ABC

Once we got satellite That's how it is What about movies? Movies Okay for example Like Netflix in Canada They just had their Big surge of like

More movies In the last like Two months But since So two months We started to get Some Netflix movies On like Netflix streaming

But for a long time Nothing All we had is What like Con Air? We only had Con Air, Face Off. Nick Cage made a deal with the Canadian government, Netflix. You only got Nicolas Cage. Show all my movies.

The Wicker Man. Wicker Man won all the Junos. Ghost Rider. Juno, yeah. Josh, man. Is that Canadian? Yeah Rider Juno Juno yeah Josh man Juno is that Canadian yeah man Juno Awards is like the Oscars

for Canada right for Grammys Grammys oh okay gotcha gotcha I don't know Canada doesn't I don't know about the Oscars

that's a good question the Dixie Chicks are big in Canada right Dixie Chicks are big in Canada like Canadians are big in Canada like Drake he's all over he's big Justin Bieber

he's unstoppable right oh yeah so I don't know yeah he's yeah so Canadians He's big. Justin Bieber, he's unstoppable. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So Canadians are actually in Canada. He can only be stopped with a stake through his heart. Yeah, man. That's the word. Justin Bieber, he's putting in the work, man. He just has to start being more... I don't know. I just wonder if

he's going to get to the point in his career where he's like Chris Brown just beating the hell out of Selena Gomez in this breakup to makeup kind of thing. Maybe. I can probably see Selena Gomez beating him up, though. That's what I thought about Rihanna and Chris Brown. Do you think he'll try to toughen up his image in a few years and maybe have dreadlocks?

Yeah. Talk about smoking. Yeah. I bet he's going to get some tattoos. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. I can see that. He's actually a really talented drummer.

I'll have to give him that. Really? Yeah. He's drums? Yeah. That boy's bad, man. Come on now. He's a really good drummer. I got to give it him that. Really? Yeah. That boy's bad, man. Come on now. He's a really good drummer.

I've got to give it to him, especially for as young as he is. Look at Josh. See, Josh doesn't care about anything. That's right. I'm about making money, all right? If I can make money off some shitty kid from Canada, I'll do it. I don't give a soul. He's a money ball of entertainment.

God damn. Robot. Robot is right. That's right. Exactly. A better slave. He's looking for the better slave. Lifeless. Yeah. Robot is right. That's right. Exactly. A better slave. He's looking for the better slave. I'm looking for the better slave.

That kid can drive really fast. He's a better slave. That's going to be my pitch to comedians. Would you like to be a better slave? Step into my office. You know how expensive it was to have a slave in the American South? Very expensive. Very expensive.

Yeah. Very few people that fought in the Confederederacy Ever had a family that had slaves Yeah that was one of the Weird things about it They didn't own slaves but they wanted to Aspire to be It was like a psychological thing People will still do that

Or they don't want the rich to be taxed Because everyone aspires to be rich Like today I don't want to tax the rich There's no way you're ever going to be rich. Like today, yeah. It's just like, I don't want to tax the rich. It's like, there's no way you're ever going to be rich. Yeah, man. But, yeah, they have that American dream of like, I'm going to be a millionaire. It's a lottery system, man.

Like Patricio Neal has a good joke. He talks about like how America, the thing about America is that like people are okay having like no really, like social programs being crappy, like no universal health care. Yeah. Because everyone thinks it's a lottery system. Like one day'm gonna get rich somehow yeah right and in canada i don't think it's like that actually like you just want your two-car garage and i'm good to go right right like i'm not trying to be rich i came from haiti i'm trying not to be a slave There's slaves back there The bar is not too high

No diversion, no kidnap money for me Right I'm not throwing out envelopes Of socialized healthcare The first time I went to the doctor's office And she's just like, Mr. Brown Your deductible I was looking, I was like, is she talking about my flies open?

What the heck? What's a deductible, guy? i was like is she talking about my flies open like what the heck what's a deductible guy watch your mouth lady i was like watch your mouth i'm a family man i got kids right you just kids all in the office and then um she just like she showed me a bill and i was like what is this like even prescriptions man prescriptions growing up prescriptions used to be a dollar yeah and if you didn't have it the pharmac prescriptions used to be a dollar yeah and if you didn't have it the pharmacist was like it's a dollar like who cares we just do this just to put some kind of money on the paper so some type of transaction has been made right right but over here the girl the woman in front of me i was at the pharmacist a few days ago the woman in front

of me was like oh it's 60 bucks she's like oh no cream should cost that much and then she's just like the pharmacist like you need to put back, or do you really need the cream? And they're like, negotiating. I'm like, these cats are negotiating. Oh, my God. So that's, yeah. Canadians, yeah. But the ones that really want to hustle will come over here, like Justin Bieber's.

Right, right. Well, is there any truth, like, when the whole health care package was happening here, everybody's like, well, look at Canada and blah, the systems of socialized medicine. It doesn't work. I mean. Yeah, man. I think. Yeah, like, what do you think is better? Are there faults with that?

Because I think everybody should fucking have healthcare. Yeah. I don't think. Yeah, like, there's a big documentary on it. There's, like, I forget the dude dude's name but there's a dude who put in like universal health care wasn't always there right right kind of got passed i would say like 1960 was it black and white and i was watching documentary i'm just trying to remember if it's black and white but he's um he got it passed i'm trying to remember his name right now but i can't

and um yeah everyone had universal health care right now like the republicans of canada called like the conservatives are in power like they're from the most now, like, the Republicans of Canada, called, like, the conservatives are in power. Uh-huh. Like, they're from, most of them, like, the prime minister's from Alberta, which is, like, the Texas of Canada right now. Really? And they're running the country. So they're kind of trying to make us as privatized as possible. But people are holding strong. The conservative and the NDP.

NDP is more like the left left wing kind of like we'll smoke weed but you guys you know i mean it's kind of okay and so they have like their platform all right we smoke weed it's kind of okay what's your question oh healthcare yeah everybody should have that yeah so that's pass man come on right that's how it goes man that's how the parliament set up so yeah man so i think it's really i think everyone should have universal health care health care i really believe that it could get past corporate guys like josh yeah let those things happen yeah i don't want to fucking be in a waiting room with poor people and their germs i think it's one of

those things where it's keeping it in the middle is like the worst possible thing because it completely screws the middle class because it's like, you know, it's socialized for some people. Right, right, right. But then it's that makes it more expensive for other people. And unless you're rich, you can't. It's not really affordable. Yeah. You know, so it needs to either be completely privatized or universal.

And I would definitely prefer universal, but it would also be much cheaper for everyone if it was privately yeah yeah yeah is that was that a problem up there because that comes out of what your taxes i guess right because yeah as you but it's it's they did they did the finances on it uh-huh and they said that it's still less of the gdp than america Right. So even if it wasn't universal in America, it would still be cheaper. But seeing that I'm not born in America, nor do I have any kind of real citizenship here, I'm actually going to stop talking about this subject. So let's talk about something else. Okay. So let's talk about America.

America's awesome. You know what's a beautiful animal? The bald eagle. Right. The bald eagle is the sexiest. I'd let Ronald Reagan come in my mouth. If he wanted to come back from the dead, come in my mouth, he totally could. Yeah, like I drive a Ford.

I drive a Ford. Oh, what's that? I'm just finishing this apple pie and watching baseball. What did you say? What? What was that? Another cup of oil for you? Yeah.

I love my car. I love gas, and I just love driving. I just keep on driving. That's all I do. You know what we need more of? Prisons. Right. Prisons is awesome. Privatized health care.

I love it. What? Pay out of pocket? Of course I want to pay out of pocket. Obama's obviously a Muslim. Anyway, moving on. He is a Muslim. Moving on.

He prays five times a day Yep, at least At least At least So, it's all about Yeah, okay, so Yeah, I love America America's awesome

Let's talk about anything I can't wait to release The edited version of this podcast Be like, hey, Ian, how are you? It's like, I am well I love America And Right

It's all about America I love America You guys are cool getters now if you could all join us at home for the national anthem oh america my home and native i'm here i love it it's awesome was that your national anthem you just tried true page i love america america is America. America is great. Just don't support me. Right. USA. I love America. USA. America is great. Man. Beautiful. I love America. Uh-oh. Go America. It's your party,

America. Let's do it, America. Go party. Go party. So, yeah. What you guys want to talk about? Because we're not talking about anything because of politics anymore. Yeah, yeah. We can boob off. We can boob off. Alright, so you've been doing comedy for three years? Three years. And we're doing it.

You've got some videos on the YouTubes. What's your username? Just got blackguyfromcanada.com is my website. Hey, it wasn't taken, buddy. Because there's none of us. Only me. The other one's like, what the hell?

There's one other guy. He's like, what? And what? What's up, guy? Where am I supposed to post my cat pic videos? He tracks you down. Yeah, some black dudes get angry. Some black guys get angry.

They're like, hey, there's more than just him. Hey, I'm doing it, baby. You're not doing it. It could be the other black guy from canada exactly that's not taking yeah right yeah but um not yet i'm gonna buy it yeah my corporate greed so yeah but i didn't go on black canuck comedy my youtube page and then um black canuck twitter and then black guy from canada facebook right on'm all social. I'm just like Josh. I'm a corporate dude.

My man. My man. Playing the game. I have a video called Shit Black Guys from Canada Say, which is hot in the streets right now. It's burning. And I got a song called Maple Syrup Loving. Yeah, it's a common diss track where I'm actually Drake, dissing Common, talking about how I'm pouring hot maple syrup all over his girl Serena. Yes, son.

All right. That'll be it. I'll put that at the end of the podcast. Yes, son. Josh, tell Mike I'm black. He's black, Mike. Thank you. I don't really see color.

White left, he's black too. That means we both steal money from poor people that just want to help the causes. We got slaves. We're both really good at music. Right, exactly. Rolling on doves. You know, there actually were black slave owners in the South. Yeah, man.

I went to, I was at the basement. What is it? Something, 92Q, even though that's probably like your competition. So I hate 92Q. Love America. Fuck 92Q, biggest America. Fuck 92Q. Our biggest competitors is the Baltimore Rap Station. You're right.

Fuck you, 92Q. Here's your come to our chili cook-off. At theirs. You heard me, you sons of bitches. It's like, what is it called? Something about the basement. Noise in the basement. That's 98 Rock.

Right. There's a black dude biracial dude like mike's firstborn and and he's good he was like his mom used to free slaves and his dad who's black used to own slaves so his white mom freed slaves black dad owned slaves and he was kind of proud for some reason what where did he where is he from eastern shore Of Maryland? And his parents were involved in the slave trade. Yeah. Eastern Shore or Virginia. Was this man, what, 130 years old?

He's talking about his grandfather. It's the great grandson. Or the great grandson. Yeah, it's got to be great grandson. At least, yeah. So, yeah, man. There's black slaves, black slave owners, black slave catchers.

Yeah. And there was people who had mixed so much that they appeared to be white and were still slaves and considered black. Yep.

I'm going to, when I tell you guys this, don't tell anybody else. But there is. Let's turn the microphones off. There is a movie on the internet

called Goodbye Uncle Tom. Uh oh. Which is the realest slave documentary you ever seen in your life. It's so real. It's so real that you got to watch it in, like, sessions. And you need to, like, release all your hate for anybody. See what I'm saying? Because, like, even Mike being international as he is, you'll get angry at white people.

You'll be like, what? These guys lost their damn mind. Okay, so what happens these spanish dudes went to haiti this is like in 1970 and they hired all these haitians to act to act right so they're like reenacting like the self right like the the best like the most beautiful wonderful time of slavery and there's like a part in the film let me just keep tell you how real it is there's a part of the film where you see a little girl running in a field and it's like she's running in the field she has like a leash and the music's like you're like oh look at this little white girl just running the field right and then um you see it it kind of pans to what she is on the leash it's like a little black kid running beside her on all fours i was like oh no

they did it oh no they did it so there's that part there's a part where these guys are eating food On the leash is like a little black kid running beside her on all fours. I was like, oh, no, they didn't. Oh, no, they didn't. Wow. So there's that part. There's a part where these guys are eating food on a dinner table. And then when they're finishing up their bones, they throw them under the table. And there's like little black kids underneath the table. They're keeping it real. And it's done like, what is it, reality TV.

So it's like you're there. They act like you're there. It's like the real world or something. Yeah. And they're like, yo, come on over here. And then you'll see they'll be spinning the chandelier and there'll be black kids cleaning the chandelier. It's some realness, guy. It was so real, man.

I was like. Holy shit. Goodbye, Uncle Tom. Yeah. Don't. Yeah. I need to look that up and Wyclef John. We got to wrap this up soon, though, guys.

I've got to get going. Yeah, because you've got to go to work, right? Yep. All right. Well, let's take a mini break, and then we'll come back to wrap it up. We'll do some plugs. And, yeah. All right.

We'll be right back. And this is full of buildings. And this is putting me in a really high position. Next week on Digression Sessions. Hi, I'm Umar Khan. And I will be the next week's guest on Digression Sessions

with Mike Moran and Joshua Koderna. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Sit, Ubu, sit. I do believe the Holocaust happened. Oh, yeah. Sit, Ubu, sit. I do believe the Holocaust happened.

Now back to the show. Music going. All right, it's time to wrap it up. Wrapping it up. Goodbye, farewell. Goodbye, Uncle Tom. D-I-G. Gee, that was a good show.

It was. It was. Dig it.-G. Gee, that was a good show. It was. It was. Dig it. Dig it. So, Ian, thanks for joining us on the show. Come back anytime, sir. Thank you, Ian. That was great. Do you have anything to plug? This will probably be up maybe next week,

I think. I think the week of what is today? The third? I don't know. The week of the 10th. You got any shows, anything you want to plug? Yeah, I got shows. I think I got a show. I got hoes. I got shows. I've got shows in different area codes. I got shows.

Go to my website, blackguyfromcanada.com blackguyfromcanada.com And there's shows that are on that page that show you where the shows are going to be at. So if you need to find out where my shows be, hit the website. And everything you need is there. I have a show in Annapolis coming up soon. All right.

At Federal House, E.J. Rushman's like hats off to comedy. Okay. So there's something else going on, but I actually have no idea. All right. All right. But just go to my website, blackguyfromcanada.com. That's good. Holla at your boy. Blackguyfromcanada.com. Sounds good. All right. All right. But just go to my website, blackguyfromcanada.com. That's good. Holla at your boy.

Blackguyfromcanada.com. Sounds good. All right. All right. How about you, Michael Moran? Oh, let's see. The 10th. Somewhere around the 10th.

What do I have? I can't think of anything. You should read my new column on Patch about Station North. Nice. And leave a comment if you have a chance. And that's online. Is that like northbaltimorepatch.com? Yeah, if you go to Patch North Baltimore, you'll find me.

You can just type my name in there. Yeah, and you have what? I guess is it a weekly column or a monthly column? It's kind of a bi-monthly at this point. And it's entitled Open Mic, and people can check out your past columns as well. Yep. Cool, man. Please check that out if you get a chance.

Dig heads. Right on, right on. And if you can, leave a comment, too, because that really helps me. Yep. Yep. Cool, man. Cool. Please check that out if you get a chance, Diggheads. Right on. Right on. And if you can, leave a comment, too, because that really helps me. Yep. Yep. And other than that, I don't think I have much right now. Yeah. Well, you'll be doing stand-up just kind of around Baltimore.

Yeah. Just look for me. Yeah. Follow Mike on the Twitters, at MichaelMoran10. And, yeah, follow us, too, Diggheads. We have one just for the podcast. We'll be tweeting out links and stuff like that.

So that's at Dig, D-I-G-S-E-S-H pod, Dig Sesh pod. So check that out. I will be, what's going on now? Oh yeah, for the Baltimore Improv Group,

there's a bunch of shows going on. It's a fully improvised play. It's called Unscripted, and I think they're doing that throughout all of March. Go check that out. Mike and I aren't in it, but go show some support. I hear it's a really fun show. They do a three-act play that's completely improvised,

and there's costumes and everything. A lot of talented people. Who has been on the podcast that's in that show? Kathy Carson. Bridget. Bridget's in it as well. I think that's it. Yeah, I think so. But we'll have some other people from there on the show at some point.

Also, I will be in New York myself for the New York City first ever NYC Improv Festival. Am I true? Is it the first ever? Yeah, well, they do improv festivals Like with UCB and stuff But I think this is the first ever I don't know, one that's endorsed by New York City itself So I think we're at the Pit Theater The People's Improv Theater

Saturday at 11 o'clock So that's a pretty good time slot I'm pretty pumped about that Good luck with that It's going to be cray cray What else? Oh yeah, so the record label is going to be huge. There will be more details about that, but Better Robot Records.

We're recording Mike Finozzo's album. Actually, we will already have recorded it by the time this comes out. So I'll keep you guys posted. And I think we're going to have a late spring, early summer release. So if everybody can come out to that. And it's going to be fucking awesome. So oh and please on iTunes just if you listen

we truly appreciate it. And if you could leave a five star rating and an awesome comment that helps us shoot up the comedy charts. Yeah. So we can keep

having quality guests like Ian Brown. We're trying to get that other guy from Canada on the podcast. Yeah. Trying to get him on the podcast too. He's stuck in immigration. When, trying to get him on the podcast.

He's stuck in immigration. When we went to go get Ian, his first question was, how many positive comments do you have? How many? How many five-star ratings? I don't fucking go on a podcast with that many. All right. So I think that's it. Thanks, everybody. Have a good one.

All right. Thanks. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. We'll see you next time. I'm always going to have these giant boobs and this great big tush, but you know, this is just who I am. Match set point. Match set point. Match set point. Match set point. Let's go. Oh, I'm making her breakfast this morning. Eggs, pancakes, and OJ.

Instead, she asked me, why are you cooking when you know that I'm not hungry? And no, she's tired of tasting Chicago. It's time to give her my Canadian bacon. She wants my maple syrup on her body. Match that point. Match that point. She came on Air Canada last night Upset Flying from Chicago She wanted me to keep her warm all night

Canada goose flow Shoutouts to my Chinese niggas UFT Nowadays where I sit is where the honeys be Where'd all these Tim Hortons come from Word to my Indian niggas Brampton Yeah I thought I had a skate too

She kept warm in her roots pants, beaver canoe. Yeah, she still sore. Last night we read the tour. Then we went camping in Muskoka. Campfire made her booty skirt glow. You know I rated your stable. While you're back to school shopping at Staples, shouldn't know this maple niggie was fatal.

You should retire, Mayor Hazel. Time to go. Share. Share. Share. We toured the city. DC.