The Digression Sessions - Ep. 283 - Eric Dadourian

Episode Date: April 1, 2019

Hola Digheads, on this week's episode, Josh and Umar are joined by their hilarious friend and comedian, Eric Dadourian! Eric just recorded his album, Nebraska 2! And it will be out this summer. Don't forget Umar released his special! Check it out -> HERE! And Josh's band, Tremendous Athlete, released a new ep entitled Progress! It's available wherever you stream music! Bandcamp link -> HERE!  Follow the podcast and Josh Kuderna and Umar Khan, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Laughable, Stitcher, & Spotify plz!

Tage Network. That's a Gotti. Yeah, nothing wrong with it. We're just like, comedy is really just, we're all just kind of drug addicts. Just like, looking to get that attention. Yeah. Yeah, like even being at a mic and somebody's like i'm gonna go to this mic like oh there's another mic like there's another

spot where i can score let's go it's like we just got paid to do comedy let's go home yeah there's a free mic i gotta chase that dragon i was like in dc and i was like i was featuring for someone at comedy loft and for alex hooper and then he was like let's go to Big Hunt after and I was like okay. And then we went because it was like the late night mic and he was like I want to get up because he's a fucking maniac and he's so funny and I'm glad that he is.

Like you know people on the east coast get to see him but like I was like I don't need to go up right now. I mean I would love to like I had good sets. I wasn't feeling weird or anything. I'm just like don't need to yeah yeah you're full yeah also yeah we did it i did the thing i was supposed to do and then they pressured me they were like you oh oh you tortured artists oh you know i'm like i'm not like gonna i'm not thinking i'm gonna fuck up my like see but that's that's the attic thing again too it's like oh you're better than us huh you

don't need to keep going for it? Oh, you're good, huh? Oh, okay. It's crazier. Because it was like in LA, I had an excuse. I was like, I'm not driving anywhere. Right. I'm not going anywhere.

But it's like here, you can't fucking do that. Well, you have an excuse because to drive home from DC is a bitch. Oh, that's a nightmare. Well, that was like, but I was like staying over there. Oh, okay. I talked to DC company law dc people and giving me because they only they get two rooms at beer baron and if there's no other comedy show upstairs then they just have an extra room oh i'm gonna ask about that i was like let me maybe i'll bring karen because i'm doing a weekend there how how is the room the hotel room

yeah i mean not great right no no yeah it's a free hotel room then you just go hang out in dc yeah yeah yeah and that bar is really cool and the food is really good there and you're in dc and i found this like coffee shop with this crazy lebanese dude on the corner nice were you doing were you doing the upstairs or downstairs room that's what i'm saying is down upstairs was a mail review it was a strip show and that shit was bananas what a term a review yeah it was all male review i've never heard that before how do you land on review it's like what do they do it's like they shake their cocks around sounds like a review to me it was intense yeah it was really like in a post magic mike world right it was it was crazy

dude yeah i wasn't ready for that. But anyway, so they didn't have a comedy show upstairs, so they had an extra room. And there's my favorite thing about... I love, love, love hotel rooms. Me too. To me, that is like... That's a vacation. Yeah.

If you go to a nice hotel, I don't care... I'm always trying to get my wife to just go in Baltimore. Yeah. Get a room in Mount Vernon. Those little staycations. It's great. It's like a block away from where I live's great i know but why not the perfect airbnb i don't want to blow up the spot but it is be more yes in fells it's magical it's i mean that's the thing it's like magical my friends andrew and sasha stay there every time they come oh i've seen pictures of it it's incredible holy shit

it's his hidden gem yeah uh that's awesome yeah that's i think uh yeah me and karen are gonna do it one like one day soon yeah i do love the feeling of opening the door to the hotel room something about it is just so calming it's all put together and clean and nice and you don't have to worry even a mid-level hotel it is tight sure i yeah if you're because if you're like i don't know what it is about it but it's just like you're in a did you was it like a huge luxury growing up for us it was like yeah growing up it was like when we got a hotel room it was like a huge my family and i never went on like super cool vacations uh yeah we the last vacation me my family and i went on together

was in third grade we went to king's dominion where's that which when i was young what so it's virginia or it's red roxburg yeah yeah yeah six flags no no it's like an amusement park but a little in my mind better yeah it's bigger yeah when i was when i was young i thought that shit was like i thought that it felt like we drove for eight hours i don't know it was only two and a half hours away we stayed in a hotel because we did multiple nights yeah it was the last vacation we took and like staying in a hotel was the best part of the whole thing it was great yeah because the tv the the one at beer baron's like literally only like two channels

work yeah and that's like my favorite i mean now it's like fun i can like watch whatever i want on my phone but it was like that used to be like yeah you go and it's like h favorite. I mean, now it's like, I can like watch whatever I want on my phone. But it was like, that used to be like. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You go and it's like HBO. Yeah. Seeing like we have HBO. Like, that's what's up.

That was my favorite. It doesn't even matter what's on. You're like, that's a movie. Yeah. This hotel in Philly that Karen and I stayed at. I bet Philly would be so cool. Philly, the hotel was tight. It's actually the hotel that Punchline puts up comics in.

Oh, cool. I didn't know that. But we pay. it's only like 100 bucks but dude they have like in the evenings they do a thing they give out it's free wine they have snacks available all the time like you know like in college you have the things where the cereal where you like open it and the cereal falls into a bowl yeah that's there all the time cereal nuts trail mix what are we hobos college style dining for a person who didn't go to college is also again like yeah fuck you yeah like i mean any buffet on it's like

essentially just the best exactly and my girlfriend went to a really good school in she went to like one of the claremont colleges and i would just go there and just eat all the fucking food. And then when you're in a hotel, watching TV feels like you're doing something. It doesn't feel like you're being lazy. It's just like, well, whatever. We're on vacation. You feel like a business person no matter what. You're like, I got to read my USA Today.

I watch C-SPAN. I never watch C-SPAN outside of hotel rooms. Yeah, and you don't feel bad about watching garbage television. I only watch golf. The only sport I watch C-SPAN. I never watch C-SPAN outside of hotel rooms. And you don't feel bad about watching garbage television. I only watch golf. The only sport I watch is golf. You do that move where you look over the paper of the TV for just a second and go, hmm, interesting. I just got golf on. Don't worry about it. This place, you could just, they set it up so it was a smart TV.

So we had all the app, Netflix, all that. Next level. And then the next hotel we stayed at, the next hotel we stayed at was this weird, it was when I was featuring in upstate New York and Fitzsimmons was nice enough to let me use his hotel for free.

So. That's cool. And it's like considered the best-ish hotel. It's a small town, but it's like bad, dude. It's like this best-ish hotel. It's a small town, but it's bad, dude. It's this gothic-style hotel. It's always dark. It's not haunted.

It's a brand new build. It's an old building they converted into this goth hotel. Upstate New York, though. That's like the origin of haunting. We used to hang witches here, but it's a Best Western now. They have a DJ every Friday and Saturday night. There's dance parties downstairs. You just smell weed everywhere.

Oh, yeah, that's cool. But only lame people go. It's people who think they're cool go there. Yeah, it's like a W Hotel. And the beds, it's all this Victorian, huge style. But it all just sucks. And then I was so pumped. I was like, yeah, let's just watch they don't it wasn't a smart tv i'm like how's this place over the top

about everything else except for the fucking tv and then i just felt like i was robbed immediately yeah and i just hated it just because of that and it was like because there were some days where it was raining and we were just so bored i was like all right i guess we'll go to the mall oh wait in in philly in upstate new york yeah philly's yeah yeah but yeah i'd be like you have a dj but no internet on the tv yeah that is it's a bad trade that's like also how i feel like in new york city what it's like it's like because i mean obviously everything is so expensive and space is such a fucking premium. Oh, yeah. I've gotten to, like, since we've been living on the East Coast, like, we got this one apartment or hotel room in Brooklyn.

And literally when you open the door, the door hit the bed. Wow. And then the bathroom was, like, the bathroom was almost as big as the entire hotel. Like, it was, like, it was just so funny it was like comically small i was like oh this is right yeah and you're like bumping into each other if you didn't work like uh what is it about tvs and hotel rooms where it's like the digital thing it just doesn't like yeah i don't know unacceptable dude it drives me fucking yeah that's hotel blue balls too you're like all right well let's least... And now that doesn't work.

We haven't even introduced Eric. It's Eric DeDorian. He's a hotel reviewer. Hilton.com. He's a Hilton rep. Hilton.com slash Eric DeDorian. That's his website. Check him out.

No, comedian and I would say dear, dear friend of not only Umar and I, but of the show as well. Dear friend of the show. Eric DeDorian. Baltimore. Balmer, hon. I want to the show. Eric DeDorian. Baltimore. Balmer, hun. I want to fucking... That's my favorite part of Baltimore. And you love Baltimore. I really do, dude.

It's weird. It fits my personality perfectly. Yeah. It does. Yeah. I'm so happy. I never want to... Every time I go to D.C. or New...

I'm going to New York this week and I'm fucking dreading it. Yeah. The shows? Yeah. But D.C. is like... I'm just not... I just never... I'm fucking dreading it. In shows? Yeah. But DC is like, I just never, I hate. But you're beloved in DC. You know that, right? Yeah, I guess so.

Sorry, no. That's weird. People, you're very accepted in that scene. People think of you as a really good comic. That's awesome. That's always good to hear. Oh, definitely. Definitely.

I just want to make Baltimore DC. I know. Send the new to like, I just want to like. Well, you're love of Baltimore. I want to make Baltimore. I want to make Baltimore DC. I know. And the new Philly, I think. I think we should, I should leapfrog DC and become Philly. I think that's like the better time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's even more of a fuck you to DC too.

It's like, I'm not even considering being the next you. You understand? It's going to be hard. Because they're all DC. They're like. DC is. It's a huge seat. It's strong.

Philly, so many people have come out of there. In D.C. or Philly? D.C. D.C. I'm Philly, too, but like... D.C. huge. Huge. I never realized it.

Philly also is, I think, one of the coolest cities in the country. It really is. And I thought I was going to hate it. Oh, my God. I thought I was going to be like, it's going to be bros and like... No. White dudes trying to fight me. But it's not.

It's black dudes protecting everyone by fighting philly has some baltimore vibes too i think it's just a bigger ball bigger balls i want to like take people like the people who run baltimore whoever the fuck it is like oh man it's like yeah i just want to take me to feel and be like look they're doing it yeah we can do it yes we just need like some tlc and some like fucking yeah just fucking making shit happen spending money in the city like yeah the city like it doesn't seem like anybody's really worried about like neighborhoods there even though it seems like no same as baltimore yeah fish fish town in philly is like the hip. It is. You can tell a large developer came in.

It's a very curated hip part of town. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it works. Yeah. Philly's definitely still has some shitty parts, though. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I drove. It's scarier than Baltimore in some places. Yeah. I saw a guy knock a dude out. It was like. Wait, say that at youth and knock a guy out? No. We watched.

We were like, went there on a saturday because we went to the good good comedy theater and it's like in crazy part of chinatown yeah there's all these bars that let out and it's fucking nuts dude and it's really fun and it's like and it's not even like state street which is or is this south street yeah i think it's whatever there's like a main drag street where yeah this isn't even that right but it was like three o'clock in the morning. Bars let out. And there was this two dudes and a woman coming out of bar just like really, really drunk. One of the dudes wearing a 45 Michael Jordan jersey, which is like amazing.

That's already trouble. Amazing. That's that's a fucking rabble. Yeah. That's an outsider. Yeah. And they were just. Yeah.

Because if he intentionally paid for that crazy yeah also that's a hand-me-down he's associated with crazy that is like his stepdad gave him that fucking jersey he stole it from his stepdad but they were like screaming at the woman after he killed him yeah yeah that's the only way you can get a 45 michael george you have to kill the you're gonna get it over my dead body oh okay you have to kill a relation yeah even him he killed his dad together he did yeah i'll retire this jersey when i retire from this elementary school i wasn't even never a basketball fan but the bulls were so huge in the 90s of course oh yeah i had a i bought a jersey a j Jordan jersey from Kohl's.

Oh, dude. I remember. Hell yeah. Yeah. Like jerseys. Yeah. Everybody wanted those. And then I had to get from Value City.

I had to get like just like a red, like generic jersey. Oh, no. Yeah. I was like, I'm a part of it, right? They're like, nah, dude. But it was just the champion logo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn't have any NBA affiliation. It was just the exact colors.

The numbers were black and white. Because they were expensive. They've always been. They were so expensive. It's always been expensive. Also, it's a weird thing for these dudes who are so, I'm going to speak in generalities right now, like a lot of sports, average sports fan, I would say,

there's a lot of homophobic tendencies. Oh, bad. Big time. But then the fact that you're just repping another dude's name on your back. Nobody talks about that. And also, yeah, you're like fat and out of shape. And then you're like, yeah. And you know everything about that person. What's gayer than that?

What's doing? Who they're dating? What they eat like how often they work out they haven't been working yeah yeah that's another thing like oh my god lebron just did not work out this summer and you can tell i saw his instagram stories he was partying yeah like a fat guy just like yeah lebron's got no hustle anymore like he doesn't what about you what the fuck are you doing that drives me that's why i just try to stay as i mean i've been that guy and i have like rivalries that i'm like a nutcase about but yeah i try to keep it positive as fuck yeah that's well like march madness is going on now and like people are just like what's

he fucking doing i'm like he's 19 they're children? I'm like, he's 19. They're children. This is the most people he's ever seen in his fucking life. He legally can't get a beer after this. He's like, get your life together. Also, he's not being paid. You're wearing his jersey. He's a kid from the hood not being paid. Shut the fuck up with your criticism.

Speaking of the hood, let's circle back to the jersey guy. Keep my eyes on that. Thank you. It is a really good story. So the guy's really drunk. He's screaming at his girlfriend. Oh, no. And then he starts punching his own hand right by her face. He's like, the 45 era was better than 23.

This isn't the 45. The 45 guy is like his, you know, like he's even worse than the guy who's physically abusive or is about to be abusive. He's that guy's friend who's just like the third wheel, you know, who's like not doing anything, but he's like just the worst. And he's like the drunker of the three, and he's like falling all over the place. And this dude's like screaming at her. And then so me and my friends and like a bunch of people on the up across the street like we just kind of stopped and we're like watching this unfold right like holy shit what's going on dude this huge dude who clearly just got off work

had his backpack on kind of like ambles out and he like sees this happening and he just calmly literally i swear to god he did this he just calmly walked across the street did not take his backpack off knocked both of them out cold and walked away she freaked out because it's like still violent like she's just like what the fuck and then she just started walking away because she at that point like she just wanted to get away yeah and the dude was like not letting her get away and so she just started to walk away like a superhero but then she came back and like helped like the unconscious boyfriend of course yeah but the dude was like and then his friend was like man and the friends was like laughing at him as he comes back and they and we like everybody high-fived him

yeah because it was the coolest thing i've ever seen in my life. Oh, high five the guy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The backpack guy. Batman. I call him Batman because he was just like Batman. Okay, nice. Yeah, no, we didn't high five the unconscious. Who did you open? Were you opening for someone at Good Good? For Whitmer Thomas.

Nice. Good Good. Good Good's a cool little black box theater. Yeah, we did three shows in one night. It was so fun. But I was opening up for Nick Mullen,. It was like the Comptown crowd. Oh, boy. Which I was so nervous, but they were great.

They were awesome. They're all sweet. They're all fucking comedy nerd weirdos. I didn't know that they have in their Patreon a level for Nazis. Yeah. Do they? I did not know that until they said, if you're Nazi, you pay extra. And they said like 30-some people pay that price.

Wow. And that's how you make $40,000 a month doing a podcast sure yeah i did that nazi demo i did a show on friday where i grew up on ken island at the ken island yacht club oh boy so went in there and it's lots of gray-haired people like everybody like i'd say median age like the average was probably like 60-something. The toughest crowd in the game. Oh, yeah. They were so fun. Really? They were all Republicans.

So I made fun of them at the top because the promoter, whoever books the shows there, like books bands and stuff. So it's like this little old lady and she comes in. She's like, hi. So I know you guys are going to start the show soon, but we're a little concerned. I thought she was going to say about language or something. She was like, is there going to be a potty break? We're all old.

That's really cute. So I riffed on that at the top about pee breaks and stuff. And then at the end of the show, they had a tip bucket out for when bands normally play. And Donnie Senstack was like, hey, if you guys want a tip, we got the tip bucket. They gave us over $500 to split four ways. Were you like, people? Yeah. And I was like, build you guys want to tip we got the tip bucket they gave us over 500 to split four ways people yeah and i was like build that wall dude what's up they're not nazis no no just

regular ass republicans yes yes yeah i just saw a confederate flag sticker driving yeah it was a butterfly really it was a butterfly confederate flag sticker but it was directly next to uh one of those stickers that people get that when they're like loved ones pass away so it's like i was like oh man your dad just died but you love the confederates yeah next to like one of those uh what do the girls get where it's the quick silver logo but they it's two of them and they form a heart the rocks yeah good pull yeah sick pull all the hot girls in high school have a roxy sticker on their car their honda civic oh man it's like you don't surf yeah no no but then they're like well you're wearing dc shoes umar

you don't skateboard fair enough all right there's nothing cooler than dc shoes oh yeah dude those big bulky oh yeah fucking it's so funny because I feel like I'm getting the karmic retribution from that because now basketball is so cool. And I'm such a basketball nerd that I'm like, no, you're not nerds about it. You're just being cool. You weren't there, man. And that's what I did to skating.

Surf culture in eighth grade. I've just noticed in the last two years, comics are painfully cool now yeah you have comedy too you kind of have to be cool like the the jordans the airwalks the the like everyone's at like everyone's posting their outfits like dom and chris allen and martin amini like they have like all these fucking well dom rivera has a remarkable shoe collection that he should be posting about. And the way that he can match in his outfits, I mean, impeccable. It's nuts. Well, when you make $150,000 a year.

Who? Dom. Dom. What? He said it publicly. Excuse me? Yeah, he works at the Pentagon. What?

Yeah. You didn't know that? No. Because he makes $150,000. He posted something about somebody making fun of him in the scene or something. He's like, you can't tell me anything. I have my family. I make 150 grand a year.

Fuck off. So now, whenever we see him, we're just like, oh, hey, 150 grand. Nice. I'm going off on him next time he posts one of those. This is the house I grew up in. Motherfucker, this is a house i live in currently i'm 37 years old baltimore let me borrow five thousand dollars right now no questions yeah i like fucking with him too it's like geez you didn't have to go off on facebook i i thought

you made 140 grand you didn't have to say 150 geez it's funny geez buddy i love i mean good for him oh that's one person that i'm like never gonna oh he's a sweetheart total sweetheart he's so good it's funny how people there's so many people that was secretly not secretly or somewhat secretly work for the government oh i'm one of them yeah i mean like government like oh i'm real security clearance yeah oh yeah i don't have that no no i don't have that wait you work for the government i didn't know you work for social security administration oh yeah that's i mean that's Wait, you work for the government? I work for Social Security Administration. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's just... Thank you for that.

Come on, boo. DMV. You're welcome. Yeah. I mean, that's federal, you know? Federal gov. That's a power. But there's like comic...

Like, King Tink works for like... What? King, the comedian. I know King. He's great. But who's he work for? Homeland Security. Holy shit.

Did you know that, Eric? Oh, my God. Is he raking money? No, but he has like an important job. Yeah. Tim Miller has something know that, Eric? Oh, my God. Is he raking money? No, but he has an important job. Yeah, Tim Miller has something like that, too. I think he's a contractor for... I think it's a clearance. It's ex-military.

I think it's ex-military get. Yeah. I mean, my parents... Get a little preference there. King's so funny, by the way. He's really funny. Yeah. Damn.

So I want to know, when you moved to Baltimoret because it wasn't by choice right it was by choice it wasn't it wasn't it was like like you didn't put your finger on a map and like let's move here it was like your wife my wife is from maryland yeah yeah and then she's like i want to move back to maryland and be closer to my family because you've been in la for like 10 12 years um we met during comedy and then so my it was my i was like i only want to live in baltimore i don't want to live anywhere else yeah i can't like dc's too expensive yeah columbia would no offense to columbia when i heard you can offend because that's what i know because there's people that yeah live in columbia but they're great people that's what i first that's what i would kill

myself oh dude it's just suburbia it's a parking lot um but no yeah i met you and saw you at hell yes fest and i was like who is this genius handsome devil but you were hilarious and crushing and super nice and that was when we had started first started talking about moving oh and i had like interesting that even back there like because the the conversations had been happening since we started dating like like was like i'm she was like i gotta be clear with you like i know you're like doing things in la yeah eventually i'm gonna move she's like not now but it is like i would like to get there and then that time just slowly kept going crept up yeah and yeah so when we met in new orleans i was like use you and and uh omar omar yeah over there and i was like dude i want to move to fucking baltimore and then both you guys were like really cool and that was like, dude, I want to move to fucking Baltimore. And then both of you guys were like, really cool.

And that was like, I mean, if you guys had been dicks, it would have been, we might have not moved to Baltimore. That would have been a bummer. That would have been a bummer. But yeah, no, and then I heard that you moved to Columbia. And they're like, yeah, this dude, Eric DeDorian, sir, he's really funny. I was like, can't be the same guy.

But it's like such a unique name. Myth building, baby. That's my mythos. Yeah, and then I was like, did he go to a rehab? Why is he in Columbia? Is he at a rehab called Mythos? Interior design school. Nice.

Yeah. I design hotel. I design the most bland hotel rooms. And Columbia is the nexus of that shit, dude. That's where it's all happening in Columbia. That's so tight. Doing a bland TED talk. Yeah. Columbia. Well, I mean, we just like stay with our parents. Yeah's where it's all happening in Columbia. That's so tight. Doing a bland TED talk. Yeah, Columbia.

Well, I mean, we just like stayed with our parents. Yeah. With my in-laws. Yeah. For like three months. Yeah. And yeah, I think Baltimore, the reason I like Baltimore so much is because it's like, I don't know.

It's like, I'm like, I'm a weird person, but I'm also a very private person. And so it like like a lot of people just like it seems i don't know i'm like talking about myself a lot now but like people have like conceptions or like of who i am or what i'm about and then like and i feel like baltimore's like that too but it's like you have to like dig through stuff to get to like the weird true center of it yeah and i think that's what i love about it it's like it's so weird here all the fucking time yeah and it's it's there if you want to find it yeah and then and people just love it and like nobody's nobody is from like nobody's from anywhere like people are from baltimore which is what i love wow my friend who i knew like besides my

wife who's like not really from baltimore she's from columbia but my friend who's like my dear long one of my oldest and now only like pre-comedy friend like real friend that um is from canesville she like grew up in woodlawn and and she's a teacher that's where i grew up yeah that's where i work probably nor who is it her name is jessica davis she's just like a herzog now um she went to well she she's a teacher now in west baltimore but she's just like one of my favorite people ever and then when we moved here i was like oh there's just like a city full of jessicas yeah that's incredible i'm into that that's what the sign says welcome to baltimore a city full of jessicas yeah and now i'm like watching college basketball is like i can always like i can always tell who is from la and then i can now i can start to tell like yeah there's a dude there's a dude on texas tech i was like that dude is playing like

he's from fucking maryland interesting he's from odenton maryland i nailed it damn he's just like playing super hard look at you yeah yeah he just has that like yeah just had that style about him yeah nailed it yeah when people talk about east coast cities a lot like like boston and philly and new york they talk about this like aggressiveness and i don't think baltimore ever gets that yeah gets that gets that nod that exists here too there is very much like because you kind of have to right yeah like and then thinking about the people that are from this area not not even Baltimore, just Maryland, like Kevin Durant. He's from Silver Spring.

I'll give you an example. When I was leaving my job, because I work in a school in West Baltimore, and I guess we were at an intersection, and this lady, she was in a big SUV, and I guess my car was too close to her car she got out of her car from the driver's seat and was like motherfucker why are you on my ass get off my ass and i'm like it was so funny and she was a grandmother yeah she's been through some shit sure yeah and she was like i have a really nice car get the fuck away from me i was like okay okay my bad my bad we got a really or we got a really threatening note on our about the

kind of the same thing it was like it was like bumper to bumper like you touch my bumper one more fucking time i'm gonna smash your windows wow it was in a handwriting that was like oh this handwriting is i believe this handwriting did you respond like you put another note like i'm so sorry i won't do it we did not cordially don't park around yeah that car anymore message received yeah yeah yeah speaking of like weird baltimore and random punches uh have you seen the bloody bucket bar over here it's just like a white trash little mecca that they have. And one time me and a couple friends went there. And the way the bar is set up is like just one big open room, essentially. Like the bar is on the left side.

There's like some pool tables and the bathrooms in the back. We're like having some drinks around Hamden. And it's like, let's just go to like the dive bar for like our last beer. And then we went in there. It's like, ah, this isn't like a place to be ironic you know and so i love that and then you walk in you're like all right well let's get our beer and then we'll just get out of there yeah and my friend jason's like i really have to pee and it's like all right well i think it's back there so he we were hanging out he was gonna go and then

we're at the bar and all of a sudden we see the bathroom door just like flies open you hear it and this dude comes out. He's like, what, motherfucker? What? To the guy that was like knocking on the door. And the guy was like, oh. And then the dude that came out of the bathroom just decked that guy like right in the face, falls back, hits his head on the air conditioning unit.

And the bartender, she just goes, we're not doing this again. Which means this happens a lot do you know how fucking like how much presence of mind you have to have to be a bartender in a bar like that like oh my god yeah like you have to be a fucking ninja yeah you're like a referee at like a uc or ufc match or something you probably know most of those people by name yeah it's probably the same clientele yeah that's the best thing about those bars that's why you just like yeah you said like unironic it's like that's a safe space like you're fucking with the safe exactly yeah i felt like an asshole immediately i love that but they can smell it on you yes oh we know why you're here they don't know you they're like literally they

don't know yeah like oh this is a joke to you what we do for fun but so i just didn't know if that guy had been knocking on the door the whole time or if like that was just like a random thing where he's like all right i gotta pee and the guy's like what the fuck um so i was like dude jason that could have been you because he's like i gotta go pee so then like that kind of calmed down he's like i really do have to pee and then he went in there and there were still lines of coke on the sink so i think that dude was just doing like lines and somebody knocks like god's like, God damn it! I mean, that's tight though. That's a nice little surprise. Yeah, so that was...

Sink coke? Hamden reminds me... Yeah, that was in Hamden. Hamden reminds me so much of the weird desert towns outside of LA. Once you drive east of LA, halfway to Arizona. Right, like a Josh Homme. Yeah, exactly where those

dudes are from yeah yeah yeah um yeah yeah we're like eagles of death metal shit like right stone age area yeah yeah where it's you're just in the desert there's like nothing else and the winter just adds so much extra anger yeah the sun i mean the sun sucks there because it like fries your brain more it's interesting because it's like a town that's like the city like like hamden it's a neighborhood where there's so much decay and then at the same time there is so much new stuff burgeoning yeah for that to like coexist which is a lot of cities but in baltimore it's just it's it's so interesting how close it all is you know oh yeah like if you think about something like our house and how close that building is

just to, like, super blue-collar people who have probably never lived in another neighborhood in their life. Oh, that neighborhood was not nice for a long time. For a long time. You kind of feel it still. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely.

But then our house is, like, so... I mean, there's just so much security, like, just security, like, standing on street street corners which is like i'd never seen before yeah it's like i know like school like johns hopkins or whoever the fuck hires those people or yeah just hopkins um i also like my friend just visited from la and he was like he wanted to see he wanted to do like the edgar allen poe thing and so we went and like that like what you were saying like that whole part of like west southwest baltimore is like crazy because you see the football stadium in camden yards in the background like the medical facilities and all the doctors that work in the hospitals that like

live in those row houses and then like literally a block away we'll just be burnt out oh yeah it's like the whole third world poverty it's block to block it's really insane and then my like where i live too is like it's like that because you're two blocks away from yeah pretty rough neighborhood really rough neighborhood but i'm also one block away from like the nicest apartments and also like the artsy kids that go to micah oh my god that's my favorite yeah you're in the middle of, it's so funny. It's really, I don't ever want to, I like, I kind of like want to, if I'm going to buy, I think we're like, we don't have any money to buy a house, but I kind of want to buy

a house on like Res Hill or around there. And like, cause I love that neighborhood so much. Resver Hill is nice. It's on the way up. It used to be like the neighborhood for rich people in Baltimore. Yeah.

You could tell the houses are beautiful. Yeah. And then so like what they wanted to do was recreate like the British feel here like that Victorian style.

Yeah. Right. So then but what started happening was after the Civil War there was like an influx of black people that started coming

to Baltimore and a lot of Jewish people that started coming to baltimore and a lot of jewish people and so the trend in baltimore it was um uh you would have like the white people living in their neighborhood and then uh once like uh like property values to start taking a dip um they would start selling homes to jewish people yeah and then every other white person not non-jew white person is like oh this neighborhood is turning to shit yeah they all leave right and then uh the property values go to shit and then black people come in so that's always a pattern did you say this is right after the civil war yeah after the civil war you started

seeing this pattern so fucking and uh um so like pretty much baltimore is built on just right more was the first ever city also to legalize uh like where black people could and oh yeah like redlining yeah yeah basically baltimore is the first city to do that like segregation yeah yeah like and about giving out like home loans and that type of thing and being like, no, no, no, you're not allowed to get one for this. So what happened in Reservoir Hill was all these homes, all these white people were freaking out. And they were selling their properties for way below what they were worth to real estate people. And then real estate people would turn around and sell that to black people at a pretty big profit margin. And so that's how Reservoir Hill became black i didn't know that there's still a big

jewish presence there there's a synagogue there still yeah but it's not it's not it's not like a it's not a fun it's a beautiful building and they're very progressive but it's like a freemason lodge now oh really yeah racism but there oh go ahead i was just gonna say racism is so fun like because it's the rich white people, right? And they're like, oh, God, if we only have other white people than Jewish people,

like, hello. They're like, well, not bad. Yeah. Not that white people. Like, our kind of white people. Yeah. You don't... Ah, come on.

And I mean, that's just the way it is everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Right, right, right. That's what everyone... That's what white people did to Mexicans in LA and...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. What are you going to do, man? What are you going to do? But people need to know about that shit. That is trauma that has not gone away, and the violence that affects Baltimore today

is directly related to that, and people don't want to acknowledge that. Well, that's the thing. People don't realize that. People are like, oh, so long ago, but it's like uh it's never stopped yeah like a like accumulated wealth that has been passed through generations yeah is a big deal and that's why a lot of white people are well off in this country and for black people it happened so late in the game where like they're still trying you know like black people are still trying to catch up and there was and then after they were freed you had all that bullshit with

you know like segregation jim crow oh and then like we're just still going on today oh yeah no i mean yeah like people like to be like well civil war was over and then that was it's like no no they were still like hanging people for making eye contact with a white lady what black people had to pass down was just trauma plus like liberals racism too which is like fucking it's so what even i haven't really noticed it until i moved to baltimore it's like it's so like it's just such a fucking slap in the face oh yeah where it's like you have a black lives matter sticker on your car next to your like i break for shih tzus or whatever on your subaru right and you like don't know any black people and you've lived in

or the squeegee the squeegee kid comes up to their window and they're like oh my god can you please not you know oh yeah that whole thing that whole thing was crazy with the woman who was stabbed and everybody blamed and like. Everyone knew immediately at my job. Really? Yeah. They knew that they were lying? Hold on. Hold on.

Let's tell the story for those that don't know. So there's panhandlers and squeegee boys on MLK Boulevard, and people are scared by them. And we had an instance where a dude came and kicked them. My wife was driving, and this dude kicked kicked the past the driver's side door super fucking hard and dented it that's so it's like not not scary but it's also like fucking freezing eight months out of the year so most of the time it's just like children for the most part it is yeah it is children this woman yeah was there was a story that came out where a woman uh was trying

to give a panhandler money and the story was that the that the panhandler like reached into the car like stabbed this woman to death i think it was okay she came out of the car yeah she got out of the car i don't know i don't yeah so but i mean so what's his motivation there right yeah so this panhandler so that was a story for like a couple of weeks wasn't it it was like and people months months right yeah and people were freaking out about like panhandlers and like all this like shit like came out or it's like we need to do something about this shit but then it came out that the woman's husband and stepdaughter orchestrated the whole thing killed this woman blamed it on a panhandler and then tried to book it to fucking mexico and everyone uh and baltimore's reputation is so bad everyone just believed it

yeah so they exploited baltimore's reputation yeah so but as soon as that story came out all me my co i just remember the first thing i was saying i was like that guy did it like what are the like well that story makes no sense a panhandle just randomly yeah what would he what would he get out of that and then also there would be a pattern of that he wouldn't just be like a one and done yeah you know it make no sense yeah and then you look at the daughter and i went back and watched their interviews here's the difference between jesse smallette and them yeah jesse you dude who's also like a trained actor and performer that's what i'm saying that's why acting is such a skill dude oh yeah he was so believable yeah when you watch

these interviews these people are not believable yeah even when you go back and watch jesse small it's interviews it's like it's still believable they also put on like a couple of press conferences yeah where it's like why are you doing this yeah yeah and they were fake crying it was insane and then his daughter is uh like a drug addict yeah you can just tell by looking at her she does crap yeah which is uh i don't know if it's shitty to say but it's just true well i mean any addict is gonna only has is a fucking one zero sum game it's like i'm gonna do whatever the fuck i can to get drugged yeah yeah that's what my existence is this woman is a fucking saint. This woman, and always in these stories, the victims are like saints.

Yeah, she had an engineering degree from Hopkins. She had a great job. She was taking care of the people that fucking killed her. Yeah, her husband, so I think what was happening was he got caught cheating, she was going to leave him, and then so he decided to kill her. I don't know, maybe for insurance. Who knows for what? Well, yeah. But you can't judge you know that's true two sides

of the story but yeah but god and again back to racism too they're like all right so what's the plan it's like we're just gonna blame a random black guy like that works everybody was like okay have you guys been watching the new adnan show on HBO? No, I haven't started it. It's way better than the serial podcast. It's so much better. I listened to her podcast, though, because she had another one. The director. The woman that made this show, I forget what the podcast was called, but I listened to that.

I still think he did it. You do? Yeah. Well, I mean, you would know. You're an actual psychologist. No, it doesn't matter. That has nothing to do with it. I just think he did it. I don't think they could have proved it though even watching the documentary

i i think jay was involved and i think he did it yeah wow so yeah so i because i was like the sorry the documentary like i thought he was innocent after cereal and then the documentary like solidified it well i was like i think he's so serial and he's so serial he's so serious honestly on and but if he is guilty he's a psychopath yeah well a lot of people in prison no i know right but like it's scary to see like the one thing that came out in the documentary was jay's history yeah that they never really discussed like he's been arrested multiple times since oh since he's been arrested multiple times yeah beat up his uh baby mama sure he um he's fought cops like and but he always gets off somehow right right uh oh god i was gonna say i work

with a guy that went to school with him yeah at woodlawn and he's like yeah when i listened to the podcast and he was like yeah i was like the drug element of woodley's like no you weren't dude like he was just like a loser so yeah i'm sure it could have not i think he did it yeah i think i'm not i don't know i just think it's crazy to think that a guy like jay could trick the police into thinking that someone else did it so i don't think he tricked them because in the other podcast this woman has true they play motive exactly so they play they play audio of bless you um of interrogating jay and having jay tell the story much better in the documentary like they really because yeah because what you hear in the in the audio is

they're like so so what uh what'd you do that day like walk us through it he's like we went to um and then you hear it they talked about on the table like a tap down on that and he goes oh yeah so we were at monobel like you hear him and you're like oh i never picked that up on the in the in the podcast yeah because they didn't play first episode right oh no are you talking about the other so the woman that made this yeah i forget it's called undisclosed yeah yeah so i think the podcast was called undisclosed i think or something like that but they play extended clips from the interrogation and it's so clear he's being coached and they're pointing at a map or like a list of like and then you did this at 11 15 and then but and you can hear them and like yeah also like those cops on the stand like oh yeah it's not even for a second do i think those people are good people like not yeah like

white cops in the 90s in baltimore was like they destroyed the city yeah pretty much in the 80s and 90s yeah it's like judges and shit yeah like, look, foregone conclusion, Muslim guy. Come on, forget it. He killed her. Which is why I think I'm like, when he was about to get a new trial, and then the high court of Maryland was like, no. I was like, well, of course. They're just trying to cover up their own base.

They're never going to admit it. He's never going to. He's going to die in prison. It's like the Avery's in Wisconsin or wherever, where they're like, we should reopen this. They're like, no. Because then they have to basically admit that they fucked up well they reopen they agree to reopen it but now i think obviously the state filed an appeal so now they have to fight the appeal to get another trial right which seems like he's going to like he's going to get another trial

probably you think he is i think he will my theory is and this is like i always feel weird like having these like fan theories about real shit. Yeah. But I think that, because in documentary they talk about how there was a dance right before the murder. His parents showed up. No, no, no. Well, that one. But the one before that when he was homecoming king, Adnan was homecoming king, and J. Wilde's girlfriend was homecoming queen. Oh.

So they spent majority of this night together and like and stephanie who was j wild's girlfriend was like really put together like one of the most popular girls in school and oddman was like this like beloved uh figure t kid and he was a loser yeah and i think my theory is that like jay like tried to put the moves on Hay, and she rebuffed him, and he snapped. Wow. That's a good theory. It makes sense. And it makes sense.

Yeah. The thing that's so funny about the whole cereal thing was that I was like my community growing up. Right. I went to that mosque and everything, and I remember my parents sat me down on the couch and told me when it happened. My mom went to her house that night. Because you were like what, 12 or 13? No, I was like in fifth grade in 99, fifth or sixth grade. Where were you that night?

In my house. What were you doing, dog? It was Tuesday. Literally, dude. Boy Meets World was on. Literally, almost every CD I own, I bought at that Best Buy. Yeah. Yeah. The first Blink CD I, I bought at that Best Buy. Yeah. Yeah.

The first Blink CD I ever bought was at that Best Buy. Nice. If I grew up in Baltimore, I would have been at that Best Buy. Like, I literally, in high school. Me and my friend went to high school when we got cars. That was the place we'd go to hang out. Best Buy was the original, like, Apple store. Yeah.

Exactly. Yes. Yeah. We'd go play video games and shit and look at all these stuff. I would spend hours there. Oh, this one's 9.99 you know i had a friend who worked in like the um like the the car stereo part where you go and my brother worked in the one at circuit city coolest job on the planet to this day yeah my brother tricked

out his car and he got it all at cost so so cheap dang i just i mean i mean i mean the flip side of that is like is i know like i don't know what it's like to be pakistani or muslim but i know what it's like to live in it's pretty tight to grow up it is it sounds pretty no it's like this is whatever um well kumail's pulling it off yeah um so he's what kumail's pulling it he's doing it i know he's killing it umar not gianni over here yeah but i know what it's like to be in an immigrant community and be like outsiders and us. Yeah. And that builds up so much fucking. But when you're like a firstborn or young immigrant child, you have to have two lives.

He had two lives. I don't know what it is. That's what I was going to. Yeah. And that's scary. That's the thing. Psychologically. i was gonna yeah that's scary that's the thing like psychologically i think that's where me and my brother are lucky uh that our parents kind of were compared to like all the other parents were very understanding and very secular no but most aren't i know and so like me and my brother for

your kids i mean for your kids welfare i haven't really hid much from my parents you know and so like like we always had girls over our house we had they knew we had girlfriends but yeah they were getting you like fubu clothes and stuff like that and being like yeah yeah and so you know earrings yeah and heads and like jordan jerseys and in our neighborhood we were the only uh we were the only muslim family or brown family and so like my but my parents were all white or is it black people too it was all white and because at that time where we where i lived in woodbridge that was like the hottest neighborhood and that's where like everyone raised like you know it was like a great place to raise a family um now still stay like someone in the city like you're in the

city still no we're outside of the county it's a county baltimore county catonsville okay and so um uh but yeah so they so we always mingle. Like we'd go over our neighbor's houses on Christmas and Thanksgiving and Easter and all that stuff. So we were pretty like immersed in the culture, the American whatever culture. So we were lucky in that way. But it's so funny. The story of Adnan is literally literally like every muslim parent's nightmare it's like you come to america and uh the american women kind of cast their spell on you get caught in that

trap in the trap of drugs and sex and all that american culture and uh yeah so growing up my dad used to use before cereal used to use adnan as an example all the fucking time so i remember like when i first started having a girlfriend come over my house he's like you need to he like he was like you have to watch her walk to her car yeah and and i was like okay and he's like because if something happens to her it's your ass yeah he's like it's just not his concern for her it's all it's you for me it's like yeah every time he would mention and not yeah all the time which is the craziest part of the story is that like hay was an immigrant too yeah same fucking culture and they both have to lead these dual lives yeah yeah it's i remember i was very drunk

uh very recently like three months ago i was super drunk and i had to call an uber to get home i was like i did it i did soon i killed it that's what umar does when he gets drunk umar's fucking talking my hate yeah this is what happened this is what happened he drinks tequila yeah he says he's talking about fucking last night my girlfriend karen and i are at clavevel drinking tequila and Karen just starts laughing to herself and I'm like,

what's up? She's like, nothing, it's just a dumb joke and I'm like, no, no, you can't do that. Tell me.

Yeah. So she's like, there's an Asian woman, a girl sitting across from us and she's like, I just like picture like, it would be funny if I just turned to that girl

and was like, hey, has anyone ever told you you look like Heyman Lee? Oh my God. Jesus. Which is hilarious. uh so yeah hold on so uh what were we talking about before the like the dual live the dual oh yeah it it's like a huge burden on their kids and i like i tried it i'm just i was lucky enough to be a terrible liar i I'm just a really, really bad liar. You know what I like.

I can't control my face. No poker face. I got no poker face. I'm good at poker, but I have no poker face. But my friends, I grew up with like, my closest friends were all Muslim, Iranian, and Afghan. And they would fucking lie their little tiny dicks off. All my cousins. And they were way smarter than me and

they're all doctors now yeah but they like were good about it and i just couldn't do it and my mom was like a hot like my mom was like my both my parents were just like really really intense and there was like that they had its own problems but yeah i just couldn't lie to them yeah i tried but i just couldn't was she intense for those reasons that we're talking about now like you're anti yeah i mean which is funny because they end up being like too so white in american they worked for the military and like wow there's 7 000 american flags at my home yeah cheeseburgers at every meal it was like it was such a fucking it was like until 9 11 don't talk to what like you can't like know any white people and i'm like i would have gone to high school with adnan and i grew i graduated in 2000 i

graduated in 99 wow so it was like of that era um but it was a lot of like fear of the outside world the fear of american culture fear of like white american culture and then 9-11 happened and it's like oh we know this like we know wartime it's like being from beirut it's like we know factions we know enemies we're gonna take the good side of what we're like but then i realized that's what it was but then now like because i'm estranged from my family and i'm just like on my own like digging through stuff and like our history in beirut and stuff it's like wow they've always been on the wrong side oh really yeah they've just like yeah it's been weird it's been weird realizations and stuff but like yeah i don't know the lying thing is like when i when i think

about having kids it's like that's number one it's like that you never have to and that's i think adnan did his time like with the whole dude like living that life it's because i had to do it a little bit like a little bit um but not to that extreme like i remember like my parents every now and then they would feel guilty that their kids aren't growing up muslim so they would force us to go to the mosque so there was like a like a year in my life where i had to go to the mosque every day after school and i hated it we had to read the quran there's smelly dudes with beards who would like hit your hands if you fucked up yo get out of here yeah it was weird and like me and my brother like we didn't like so when you pray the whole like standing up getting down there's certain

um prayers you have to recite in arabic you have to memorize and there's different prayers for each time of day and we just faked it. So, like, we were faking the opposite. Just saying watermelon the whole time. So, like, I would fake being a Muslim while other kids were faking to their... It was just so interesting, because, like, I just remember, like, I didn't want these kids to think... I was embarrassed that I didn't know how to pray.

Like, most kids finish reading the Quran by the time they're eight. Yeah. I didn't finish until I was, like, 15. And, like, my parents were like, this is the one thing we're gonna make you do yeah and we picture a quran by the toilet you're like i'm gonna get it every couple minutes so much and uh have you revisited it at all never and i don't want i went one like maybe when i was like in college uh or like in my early 20s to the mosque on eve like the big holiday yeah and the guy said he went on some crazy rant about how like all these natural disasters are happening because of gay

people and i told my dad i was like look i'm never coming back here because i don't think like that well because you already know it yeah it's like uh tell me something i don't know why am i here my dad's take out of his mouth i was like i don't know no i'm just kidding these queers are bringing on tornadoes but yeah i was like dad i like i can't come back he's like why don't you he's like i don't believe just ignore that stuff and i was like yeah i just can't see but why participate if you're like nah i just pretend that didn't happen it's like but it is it's a part of it so what do you so that's what i love about our generation it's like we can't ignore shit anymore yeah this is what happens when you fucking ignore shit yeah everything just gets worse and worse and worse yeah religion was always so weird to me as a kid because i didn't go to church right you stayed at a friend's house

like on a saturday night sunday i would have to go to church sometimes like certain friends and i remember going in like my pantera t-shirt and it just seemed like yeah it seems just so like culty like everybody just monotone like doing like the homilies or whatever singing the thing like and it's so usually fear-based everything's like fear everything guilt you have to feel ashamed about being a human right and anything that's like be a good person or else, it's like that's not good motivation. It's like, no, it's like God's watching, so you do the right thing. It's like do the right thing because you're supposed to.

Because then it's like that or else is always going to fucking come up, and then what happens, and usually it's fucking violence. So usually it's like corporal punishment or fucking, you know, your kid's lying to you and fucking up in a huge way. Right, right, because internally you're not going to handle that well if it's constant like i'm a bad person and you'd be on the watch out for retribution or something yeah from on high the interesting thing was like when we those years we were going to the mosque uh we would get a ride with this kid whose family was so religious like and his dad like he would just constantly talk shit about americans and how they're evil and they're all going to hell and you can't hang out with them and american girls

are like this and that and it's just like and i just remember like every time like i just i hated this guy but i had to pretend like i agreed with him yeah and it's like i just like god this life sucks that's so many that's so many older dudes that i grew up with like family friends or uncles or shit like yeah would just say the most racist shit yeah and the older i got i was like i can't fucking deal with but it's like it's so fucked up because you think growing up when you're a kid kid that these are you're you're like taught to like revere the elders in your fucking community and shit like that it's like i can't fucking deal but because we grew up here we don't have any of

that but i see that my cousins who moved here recently so like in their teens they moved here in their late teens that's hard and they revere the adults and like i'm like no that person's a fucking dumbass yeah and all their ideas are shit and uh it's not their fault make your own in a country where like uh women were only allowed to go to school for this period for until this and then they gotta be at home that's normal but like understand their ideas are stupid yeah but you can't change their minds because you can't change their minds but don't listen to them yeah and uh yeah but then there used to be these people like the the they're called mulvies and they're like priests kind of they're like the ones who run the mosque and uh every now and then they would visit our home like in as a group like these religious

people like the religious leaders of the the to like judge the house well they would come and um and they would show up randomly like a jehovah's witness and they would just be like hey why don't you guys come to the mosque? Like, why don't you come to the mosque? And it's just like, yeah. And my dad used to feel really guilty about it. And like, you know, me and my brother would be in shorts. And like, you're not supposed to wear shorts if you're a Muslim kid and all this dumb shit.

What the fuck? That's the thing that really gets me about religion. It's like, you think God cares about clothes? Dude, I used to get all eating with my left hand because that's the devil side what yeah oh so intense yeah yeah not by my parents but like other people yeah yeah dad would be like no that's idiotic don't listen oh that's good yeah because it was that way i mean even i'd say like in america like i don't know in like the 50s or say like if you had if you were left-handed it was like you should try to not be that you know yeah it's it's so crazy it's like uh yeah and then but now my

parents like wonder why i'm an atheist i'm like well yeah come on don't you see how it's insane like my like i get the because i don't believe in religion like my life is so tight you know i wouldn't be doing comedy i wouldn't gotten to meet the people i like know in my life who i think are like amazing it's it's all just so hypocritical too good i think my parents or people in my family have like written me off and so like but i think that they deep down inside they know that it was like i was it was never gonna be in the cards for me to be like that because it was just like when you're like a kid growing up in that in the family like that it's like you have to fucking rebel and be a fucking badass teenager so what do you what do you mean with your fit with your family what were they

expecting like religious like side or it's so much culture it was like again it's like it all comes down to trauma and like dealing with their own trauma like yeah my family in beirut like went through a bunch of shit like in the 80s the civil war and um just life and death being like um just like at the forefront all the fucking time right and like thinking about it just to survive yeah and and so like when we moved here the fear that like trauma and shit manifested itself in the fear of a new culture and like fear of a new language and fear of figuring out this like whole new world and so and like all at the same time as like raising kids and stuff and and having that whole like american dream go to college that whole fucking thing right but i had just i just had too many

people in my family telling me that they were going gonna kill me if i like strayed from the path or whatever to ever be like god damn i'm gonna fucking believe in religion like as soon as a person that i thought loved me yeah told me that they're gonna fucking kill me if they don't if if if i didn't like adhere to their like religious i was like this is never gonna like yeah could you possibly ever imagine being fucked up if you say that shit? No. Yeah. And also, that's what you follow? It's like, come over, be religious, or I'll fucking kill you. Well, I mean, that's what it is. I think that's all what religious extremism is. Even if it's like Jehovah's Witness, Muslims, Jews, Orthodox Jews, or whatever.

It's like, it's so clearly be open, man, yeah it's gonna kill you yeah we got heavy yeah i got heavy well i just wanted to ask because you kept mentioning it and i don't i didn't really know i don't mind i think it's really important to talk about it yeah it's also like a weird for me to be processing it but i think yeah at this age you know i'm like in my late 30s like gonna be like been thinking about this shit and like i mind this stuff for comedy and stuff and i was like it's it's important to process that stuff it is yeah like lingers yeah i mean i don't talk to my family really yeah like i don't talk to my mom's side of the family i haven't talked to my biological dad in like 20 years wow yeah yeah so i mean it's it's

weird yeah for sure like it's it's a thing where it's like oh i know i'm better off in the long run but it's like it i wish it was different like i'm sure you do too it's like why are you doing you know but i do wish it was different and i wish like i get like my wife is i'm and i didn't realize this until recently it was like i've always been drawn to uh like uh partners who came from like good families yeah like not just like families but like with the weasleys like yeah we're all the fucking same we all look the same we all think the same we're the same we're stable we love each other i'm just like a fucking i've been on my i mean i haven't been on my own own like yeah but I kind of have like right spiritually or whatever right um but yeah it's it's so funny I so that's like

to think about that it's like I don't really miss it like I I just I just think that it's I just don't fit I don't value families in that way where it's like I'm not the person who's gonna be like this is your family and you're supposed to honor them no no no no no no no no that's how wars and shit yeah well and it's like you were thrown what's like you were saying umar too like you get older and just because somebody's an adult doesn't mean that they're smart or what they're saying is correct and then you start to do with your family it's like no no i thought you were like this pillar it's like oh you're just a person too yeah and you're fucking up and it's not healthy for me to be around you yeah so crazy and i love that's what i love about comedy and i think any other kind of culture or subculture like that

where it's like you see it a lot in the gay gay community because people just get through and it's like so much worse when you're gay or trans or whatever oh yeah umar knows umar knows umar knows um he starts hurricanes yeah hurricane yeah from his loin he was wearing shorts as a boy yeah so he knows what it's like to be damnated yeah that's yeah excommunicated but i love chosen family over like me too i love that idea it's like that is something that i'm about so hard because it's like those people know all your flaws and they're still down. Like, that's the best. Yeah.

Totally. And that's a real connection to. Yeah. Well, speaking of comedy, you recorded an album recently. I did. I don't know when the fuck. Speaking of trauma, you have an album. Nebraska 2.

I don't know if it's going to be good. I wanted to get like. Do you want to talk about like the process? Because I'm. Yeah. I did it. And it's very interesting. Yeah. The like, why'd you pick nebraska so i picked nebraska because i was like this there's this one bar called olivers um that is owned by the band cursive oh interesting they

and like i know that is that a bit that's a pretty big band yeah they're pretty big band yeah they're a big omaha band um and i'd gone to omaha a couple times saddle creek yeah saddle creek record boulevard um but i'd gone there a couple times just to for festivals and stuff and it's like a real it reminds me a lot of sidebar it's a lot like sidebar where it's just like you could tell it's like a rock club yeah yeah um but it's but it's owned by rich people like this band cursor that's done really really well so it's equipped really good with like mics and shit right and the sound system is great because they just do it's mostly like music um and i did i know i didn't want to record in la

and like i my second album i definitely want to record in baltimore for that first one i just wanted a live dirty bar show yeah yeah and i wasn't gonna be in denver i got paid to go to denver for a bunch of shows that was tight and like omar was right there and so and i wanted i know i wanted to call it nebraska to like the bruce springsteen album yeah which is the cut the cover is just the bruce springsteen i really wanted to be and i don't know if they're gonna let me do it but i wanted to be just literally the nebraska cover and you with my name like over bruce springsteen and then a number two to do that i don't know if you can i think i think you should just do it i think i want to do it and

i kind of i think the one way around it i don't know if this is true laws yeah yeah i want someone to just draw it right so it's like if it's just like a crayon drawing or whatever yeah then it's like a cover of a song like yeah if you do a cover yeah so how did it go like how'd you get people there so that's the thing so i know a couple people from la who were from omaha and i've been there kind of a lot which is kind of weird so i knew people there um and it's not that big of a venue so i knew that if i got like 20 30 40 people there it was gonna be great awesome but the vibe of it i wanted to have a real specific vibe i wanted to be kind of a shitty album because i wanted to be i wanted to like um i wanted to like encapsulate my first 10 years of comedy,

which most of that was really bad. I was really loud and drunk and angry. And it is a lot of just bar shows, too. Yeah, and it's a lot of bar shows. And I was like, I want this to be like, I think the best. I think it's so interesting when you see the process of how comedy works. Yeah, for sure. That's why i like twitter um but so i wanted to i wanted to be like one take i wanted just to be bad and

it was like around christmas time and there was like a teacher's christmas party downstairs and they're just fucking going off because teachers are insane yeah they're wiling out so i started talking about bruce springsteen i started talking about teachers in the beginning and then i got into my material so it's like we'll see i like it i don't know if a lot of people are gonna like it's like not a clean comedy album but i'm like that's just not me now like i think i learned a lot from it and i'm like stoked for yeah to make album i like that though i like like albums that are just capturing a certain moment in time like it's not just like you could have done it at any theater and it sounds really good and crisp like this is like a specific element of comedy rory scoville's first album was that way yeah and i think it's an amazing comedy album

where yeah it wasn't even a sold-out club no one really knew who he was at the time unless you're like into comedy like right yeah and then um he even said like i didn't even have like a fleshed out hour he was just like a lot of bits were undone and i was like fuck it i'm just gonna do it on stage fuck it yeah that's my favorite fucking thing that's why he's a genius at it he yeah but now he got it to a level where it's a spectacle like he's it's unreal what he can do now oh totally he was in omaha one time for one of those festivals and i saw him put together an hour like 25 minutes at a time throughout the weekend and it was like fucking jaw-dropping because he does do it live he does like he does improv stand-up essentially

yeah he went on tour doing that and it's my favorite thing in the world he's like that's what i want he's so good to put it in perspective like this guy joe list who's a great comic he's one of the dudes in new york he was on a festival in uh in uh like uh europe and rory was performing like he was like saying like the europeans love his ass he was saying before the show him and rory they're catching up they're you know they're buddies from the scene right and then um he's like and then i watched rory perform and it was like watching a rock star and then backstage i was too scared to talk to him again because it's just like wow you're not a peer of mine you're on another level that's exactly my the first time i ever met rory was uh a comedy show. I was six months in.

I had no idea who he was. When I first started comedy, I didn't know any comedians. I knew comedians that regular people knew, like Chappelle and shit, but I didn't know about Rory or Marie Banford or anything. I was outside, and I was walking up. I just got off work, starting comedy, and see this fucking dude. He's like, hey, man, I'm smoking this tiny joint yeah smoking the smallest joint i've ever seen in my life he's like hey man you want to help me smoke this and i was like oh yeah so he like

smoked him we like talked a little bit he just asked me he's like yeah i just started comedy i'm six months in do you do comedy yeah i do comedy and then literally we both walked in and he went on stage and closed out the show and did and at that point in my like i hadn't hadn't seen him and didn't know that like that existed wow i don't that's the style of regular yeah yeah i'd seen maria do it but i was like oh that's maria like nobody else can do she's a singular force right yeah and then then i see just like jokes jokey jokes and storytelling right right like that's the thing when you when you go to a show like that rory does it's like it'll never happen again yeah and that's the coolest to me that's the coolest thing about yeah he blew me it was like seeing a rock guy it was like yeah blew me away because also it takes he's so loose but it takes

so much balls to be that loose it's unreal real it's my favorite thing it's a walk feeling yeah to walk that line of like not giving a shit but also confident at the same time in your talent oh but it's it's like the same thing as just going up on stage and just doing jokes because you like yeah you figure out what works and what doesn't right and it's also like a magic trick because yeah it's not all 100% improvised for sure no which is my kind of like that's like the craft of it yeah i do shit all the time now yeah i try it again and it works and sometimes it doesn't yeah where it's like whoa what a good throwaway line that i've done nine times but just the fact that like okay like if you take a comic like, and we're getting so deep now, but whatever,

who gives a shit? Some people like that. Yeah, I mean, if you like the pod and comedy, this is good for you at an hour and 10 in. Yeah. Like Mark Norman,

like Joe List, Sam Morrell, they go up, they're going to do their act in almost the same order every time. But like, even though like,

like Rory, like if you watch like YouTube videos of him him he's doing the same jokes in just no order no structure he'll like if something catches his eye he talks about it goes back into a joke like yeah it's nuts that's what i and that's kind of that's what i wanted to pull off with my record i kind of got to it i just don't think you're yeah you're one of those i just don't think that people are gonna like like you're set i actually i gotta give you the video dude i have your set at that show we did at the church.

Yeah, I sent it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the best sets I've ever seen in my life. I thought I sent that to you too. You did send it to me. Yeah, I recorded everybody's set. Yeah, cool. Like it was so good.

I think you were like the star of that show where like you started playing the piano and you're just fucking around. Like you just like yelled at my friend A friend aries uh stepdad it was so funny that was i don't remember i i thought i think you had your sunglasses on too yeah because you left your regular glasses oh yeah that was my sunglasses era time where i was like yeah that was tough because it's like i my glass i have really bad eyes and i can't see it's like if i don't have my glasses then i like if my body just starts hurting because i'm just doing this all the time like crouching yeah like lurching forward or or i could just wear my sunglasses all the time and people just think i'm a fucking douchebag so is your album done it's done it's uh it's gonna come

out on a special thing records awesome um but there. But there's, I think, like, that's a busy comedy label. Yeah, yeah. And there's, like, a bunch of albums that are down the pipeline before mine is up. So they're going to wait for, like, a long time. Yeah, I haven't heard anything from the dude in a long time. And so, like, I get it, which is weird. Like, back of my mind is, like, I'm probably going to have to put it out on my own anyway. But, like, I think it's fine whatever happened i wanted it because i want to go i'm going on a tour at the

end of may in the south yeah awesome from atlanta on from birmingham started birmingham atlanta chattanooga um columbia south carolina and north carolina and then west virginia and then home damn like early summer tour that sounds yeah and that was like the best we gotta talk about that yeah um so i was hoping to have a record to have to sell but i don't think that's gonna happen so i'm gonna have to come up with some yeah whatever to sell yeah buttons makeup um you should get uh a poster design that you can sell that's a good idea. People love posters.

I'll try to connect you with my guy, my buddy, who did my album cover. Have you thought about, since you'll be in the South, and you're kind of fun, like a butterfly, have you thought about getting a Confederate flag butterfly sticker? It says Eric DeDorian on it. But I'm like a caterpillar? Yeah, yeah. Becoming. Yeah, you're the before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The caterpillar Confederate flag.illar. Yeah, yeah. Becoming. Yeah, you're the before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A caterpillar. Nice. Yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do. I want her to have like tapes and then sell like tape decks, buy a bunch of tape decks. And then put a download code in it. Yeah. Yeah.

Brandy Posey did that. Yeah. Very smart of her. She's like my, she's my mentor. She's so good at that. Yeah. That's awesome. She's incredible.

And she works so fucking hard and she's non-stop. And she's super mentor and she's so good at that yeah that's awesome she's incredible she and she works so fucking hard and she's non-stop and she's uh super nice also she's an incredible person she's one of the nicest people i've ever met in my life she's one of those like uh you know chosen family people like i don't know i don't know where i would be in comedy and yeah like because most other people i came up with were like those like mark norman samaril types yeah and i'm like i'm never gonna be that guy right we're like they're cool but they're in a certain way they have this like this is a cliquish they're cliquish and like they're yeah they they um they're like robots in a way yeah right it's a comedy it's like it's

they'll fucking step on i well i won't speak for there's a type of comic person who's trying to get to a level where they'll step on anybody and i thought it was just new york but it's not no it's just a type of comic yeah yeah dude it's in dc it's in baltimore kind of way and i think people think like me and you are like that really but yeah oh yeah really come on think of that group chat that always sucks oh yeah yeah but um yeah that is just like that is just perceived shit too it's like i never i maybe we're perceiving that of other comics i just judge comedians based on like one to one yeah and if you're a dick to me like three times yeah i'm just gonna it's over and judge you at this point

and think that you are a dick right like i think like the comics you're talking about are just more independent at their core and not really looking for like a connection like right what you're talking about it's like no no like you're cool but i'm here to do comedy like whatever like if you if you die tomorrow fine i'm still gonna see that in their comics like those dudes like there are so many good joke writers yeah they're like detached and so yes that's a good way to put it yeah and so they will those are the guys that are going to try to push buttons yeah they're going to try to fucking do rape jokes and all this other kind of stuff right it's like that's this is you're just getting far you're still getting good at and like that's another thing it's like that's always going to be popular

like those dudes are always going to be working they're always like and they're always like 99 white dudes but it's like not just white dudes yeah yeah like my buddy brought up a good point today that like patreon is like has become like the speakeasy for that type of comedy yeah you know what i mean where it's like hey you want to hear these kind of jokes well pay a little fee and come on in and if you identify as a nazi then you have to pay more you gotta pay a little extra but you can come in yeah and that's it's also interesting like with that kind of humor too it's like like because we know the come town guys and you know like they're great guys they're open-minded progressive guys but they just have this type

of humor that unfortunately draws sometimes some shit heads people yeah i think it draws privileged people i think it's like yeah i think it's like but doesn't all forms of entertainment to be able to pay a ticket to go see a show you're privileged right right no for sure and like that's what i liked about comedy at first because it was like a lot of free shows and bar shows yeah and it's like you got to see like whatever like 10 on the showcase yeah you get to like pick it or whatever it was like yeah with that specifically i think it's like they are children of liberal yes families that were like love the fuck out of you and you always had like really good breakfast and no cereal like you watch r-rated movies and all this shit like everything was just comfortable

comfortable comfortable comfortable yeah and then so you rebel against that with like uncomfortable and like whatever it is like the opposite of that yeah that's where that comes from yeah yeah that's probably why it tickles like a nostalgia thing for me too because that's that i mean i'm sure that was you too like in our teens like just saying the worst stuff yeah like fucking ass yeah yeah it is middle school humor yeah yeah interesting i was always just i grew up just terrified of saying the wrong thing because i grew up in a house where if you said the wrong thing you got fucking smacked in the face yeah yeah yeah yeah i used to get hit too but like i just remember like literally how they talk on some of these podcasts we're talking about like you

know that's how i grew up like i used to say awful shit growing up but now that like i'm embarrassed oh yeah totally uh to like that to even admit the kind of stuff that we would say and there's also limits because like they would say horrendous awful shit but they're not out here trying to say the n-word ever no no and so like oh we are there's limit like wheels wheels there's likeog there's people that we will put down but there's just some people that we won't because there is a fucking thing there is a line yeah exactly yeah for some at that point yeah yeah some people there aren't because then there's other podcasts all the time yeah it's like whoa uh louis j gomez on legion of skanks he says oh that podcast yes zach amico does too i just heard it

that's like the brook kreischer dude no i think he might be might be but he hasn't been on his podcast amy was just telling me about that dude i just found amy amy miller oh okay yeah um yeah that's crazy that's just you don't i don't know yeah but to his credit yeah he's half puerto rican he's puerto rican he grew up like i'm not but i'm just saying like he like he grew up poor his mom uh died of a heroin overdose his dad was stabbed to death he grew up in the projects on welfare housing and stuff so um not that i'm excusing it but you, he, that's another thing that happened. I hear what you're saying. Where, like, so people like Kevin Hart and this guy, Luis J. Gomez, like, they worked their way out of poverty. And they get this, like, even, like, Eminem.

And then they get this platform and people are, like, shitting on them. It's like, where do you think it came from? Do you understand, like, these are, this is such a complex issue where like these people came out of these environments where like being gay was a bad thing and that was programmed in the brain it's gonna take a long time to unprogram that and so like you're put like in a way now you're punching down when you talk shit about these people because like right they just got out of this situation because they have this talent but there's so many other people who didn't and so when you talk about them like this and call them like pieces of shit and blah blah like you

also talk about like a huge portion of this population that um you're privileged to not think that way because you grew up in a family that had money and you could be more worldly than them in a sense right right so i think 100 like judging them is not the course of action but it's like yeah but you always have to say something you gotta say something but there's a way to do it without being a condescending yeah or like hypocritical it's like well you don't know their experience like but you're gonna ignore kevin hart's experience as well like the people that you defend kevin hart came from that he is that you don't look at it anymore because he has money, but what does that change?

He has money and he has audiences. He said all that shit a long time ago and stuff, but he's also an artist who hangs his hat on how hard he works, which is 1,000% true. Nobody works harder than Kevin Hart. Yeah, right. But there's got to be like, what kind of work are you doing? Is it just activity or is it achievement? I feel like that gets mixed up a lot.

And like, especially with comedy, people... Wait, you say activity instead of achievement. Versus achievement. You're not progressing. Like, you're just moving your fucking feet. Yeah, like you're doing a lot, but what are you actually doing? Exactly. And like, specifically as a comedian, comedians more than any other art form or craft form or whatever it is like you have to be real and like you have to be true to yourself

you got a hashtag grind dude you got a grind but you also have to be like you have to progress and if you're not progressing overachieve if you're just pandering down to a fucking audience all the fucking time yeah you're not really being a fuck but i'm i don't think he's pandering i think he really that's well also the product of growing up in that environment and i listened to him on um fresh air and i listened to it and thought he articulated him himself in his position very well and then i saw the reaction to him on um fresh air and it was like oh he was just trying to defend his fresh air npr thing yeah defend his hate blah blah oh yeah and it's like dude if you come to my school and and you listen to these kids talk and like i remember someone posted um that who's that guy who

wears a blue vest he's an activist yeah ray posted some tweet he's like well how hard is it to not be homophobic and then another guy commented like actually it's very hard i grew up with a very homophobic father and i had to go to years of therapy to get over that yeah and it's not just your dad it's like your friends are doing the same thing and so all the people my point is not to dismiss this behavior but i think if you come at it with this approach of talking down to people it never works are missing the bigger picture you also are just like you're just not doing what you're trying to do yeah yeah you're trying to like you're you i think we're slowly moving past that where it's

now we're like solution oriented because things are gotten so bad instead of shame or yeah before it was just like a thing that people did reflexively right now it's like we're at a place right now in 2019 where it's like no we just have to figure out how to because i don't think shaming changes the behavior no one makes you like if you're like listen here you stupid piece of shit and you're like oh yeah i am a piece of shit tell me why you know it's like people know when they do shit like that they know that they're doing it out of like being homophobic or sexist or racist they're flexing their anger that's where that hate i don't know people are aware of that no no i think that people

i don't know if they're aware of it but i think that's what it is they're aware they're not aware of it where they're gonna be like sit down and down and be like, oh, this is why I did this. You know where this stems from? But there's a moment. Like, you know when you get angry. Oh, yeah. There's a moment. It's because you're hurt.

You're angry. And there's a moment where you're like, okay, I'm either going to lean into this right now. Yeah. Or I'm going to fucking take a breath and step back. And so people are aware of that moment. Yeah. Of where they're just going to really lean into it. I think some people, though, and I see this every day in my job uh you have such little control over your

impulses that when you get angry because when you grow up uh and you are experiencing trauma over and over your brain gets primed yeah uh to react to react and that's what you see a lot yeah and you have this thing called a hostility bias so you perceive innocuous actions of others oh god as aggressive so i do this with my kids exercise all the time when i'm like okay so like the way you perceive the world it is is like you have control of your feelings so how you perceive the world kind of helps you control your feelings and it's not cut it's not white and black but it helps so like let's say the example i gave i was like let's say you're walking in the hallway a crowded hallway someone bumps into you what are you gonna think it's like they did that shit on purpose that's almost always

what kids say sure well they did that shit on purpose like they couldn't done it by accident it's like no no one just bumps into you by accident yeah you know where it to us that's crazy that someone can't see that i don't think that's great that crazy because i mean i go through that every day yeah i have those feelings not just bumping it not not specifically bumping into me but like someone's saying something yes exactly yeah well yeah we're all insecure narcissists at the same time where it's like what the fuck what did you say so my brain is also trained to like protect myself at all exactly yeah i would imagine like growing up the way some some people grow up like whether you're a poor black kid or a poor white kid in the in the fucking trailer

constantly on guard like the dude in your story yeah you left all the coke behind yeah like you have to be pretty fucking angry already all that coke yeah like especially at a at a fucking bar at last call like i've gone into so many near fights and actual fights at the end of nights when it's like usually dudes yep who are just trying to fight totally they only want to fight yep they only want to exert that they're looking for them there's some sort of people don't engage in behaviors unless it is in a way whether it's detrimental to them in a way it's rewarding to them right and it works for them yeah for whatever reason whether they get something they avoid something or it's some internal gratification but you still have to protect yourself from those

people like i'm not trying to judge and i think that to an extent, it's like, D-Ray's a gay black man who grew up... What? Since when? He grew up in the same kind of neighborhoods and came up through the same shit. It's like he's just had to protect himself so double down harder. And he doesn't have to be understanding of hate. No. And that's totally fine but he's but i

mean like but if you want to see change i think yeah yeah yeah he's he's yeah he's what i wish he was way more open to dialogue oh i'm not right and i'm we've talked about i hate i'm like i think he's bad for public the discourse yeah because you can't again you can't have somebody talking down to somebody there's not going to be real change there so if you're just shaming the person be like oh you're terrible your hashtag canceled forever it's like my problem is always the people who come from privilege who are doing it as a fucking thing yeah to get a pat on the back but on the flip side too where it's like that's what i mean with like oh what comedians do yeah it's like oh yeah when i know a fucking comedian is just like comes from a good

home and they grew up fucking rich and they're trying to still just trying to ruin people's day by like fucking being shitty yeah nothing makes and also drives me also it should be like most comedians come from privilege most which is something it took me a long time and people don't understand if you like john mulaneyaney, Nick Kroll, Aziz, Nick Kroll's dad is a terrible person. Yeah, yeah. I did not know this until recently. He did like sort of like Blackwater-y type security.

He started that shit. He's a literal billionaire. But he also is a warmonger. Oh, I didn't know that. I thought he was a good person. No, he started like... It was in that vein. I read about it a while ago.

But yeah, it was like in that vein. All Black Cube and Blackwater and like those ex-Massad like private security. He started that. That's him. Israel, like the Massad like security firms like took his idea. Wow.

Where did you learn that? I was just reading about him. Yeah, it was in a New York Times article. I think it was about Nick Kroll, but then talked about his dad and how he grew up and stuff. I heard Nick Kroll talk about how his family is very wealthy.

And he talked about how his dad invented something in the insurance industry. Yeah. Insurance. I was reading about something. I wasn't reading about Nick Kroll. I was reading about

how these, I think it was New York Times too, but it was like. How these firms started. All right. These guys read the paper, huh? I'm just kidding. I was shaming people on Twitter and reading the New York Times at the same time. I read movie reviews and then I saw the name Kroll and I was like, let me read about this.

Yeah. I kind of was, but it's like. Right. Yeah. That fucking blew my mind. Yeah. It's's interesting because jules kroll is his name wow i don't know where to fit wow i don't know where to fit in that spectrum of like being woke and then like the comics who push an envelope because they both annoy me uh but like the the fake wokeness on twitter or in like on social media is really troublesome to me i i think like trying to project this thing that you're really i don't know i think we're moving past i think you are because i have because i was like with aziz he kind of apologized on

stage recently and a lot of people took to twitter to try to be like fuck this and they wrote like these think pieces how we should not forgive and everyone's like bro he said he's sorry yeah it's so funny with him because he and it's very calculated probably he was also so fake woke before that yes he said feminism on stage so many times i wanted to bring his medicine square garden special was all about that and he also like was wrong he like did not define feminism no right at all he did that i remember i said this a long time ago Aziz um he is smart in the sense that he looks at the cultural trends yeah he'll he writes around them so when like comedy when he blew up in like the 2009 2010 joke writing joke

jokes are still a thing yeah so he was just doing joke jokes yeah and then he got into like a human giant then he got into like the thematic part so then he started writing all about relationships and what like millennial because like then like this whole millennial culture was burgeoning and everyone's like being a millennial and about dating and all this bullshit so he did that and then uh like feminism started becoming more talked about in the culture and i remember he went on letterman and he talked about like i remember that interview and and i just remembered like he was saying how he's dating the chef yep she's like a huge feminist and like i used to think it was a gross bad thing and like it just means you care about women and and it's just like

z's you're a 30 some year old man you're talking about like you got into a relationship for the first time and you just discovered feminism and now it's like this makes you look bad and it's also like don't hurt your hands patting me on the back by the way i know yeah like instant like saying all this like stuff like a child just figuring out what feminism is while instantaneously like pre like preaching about it yes yeah you can't do that at the same time yeah like it would have been so cool it would have been so fucking cool for him to be like hey this is a thing i did not know about this is a thing that most dudes do not know anything but versus like oh you didn't know about this oh you suck but i'll tell you why it would have been if he was like yeah i'm dumb as fuck about this and then he's an

asshole forever and then his whole stand-up was just him talking about how much of an asshole he used to be but then he just did the thing where like you guys are assholes yeah yeah and then so and then so when that story came out and i was like oh man i just knew this was the whole time right like he's just a control like well he was also a man i just knew this was a disease the whole time right like he's just controlled like well he was also a marketing major right like that was his thing so yeah yeah so it's and also again but like to think about like why he you know where he came from and like his trauma was like an indian dude growing up in south carolina like yeah he was a fucking loser probably his dual lives that whole thing like

and he and the fact that he never talks about indian shit like he doesn't really talk about himself in that way yeah and he's gone on record as saying that he doesn't like talking about it interesting yeah all that shit is like it's all intertwined it's interesting it is yeah crazy all right should we wrap it up i think so yeah how long we do uh four hours no hour and a hour and a half wow that's a long one. It's always a good talk, though. It is. We always have so much to talk about. Yeah, I love having you on the show, man.

Yeah, for once, we did not complain. No, we didn't. Usually Josh and I complain about comedy. Yeah. What do you got? Oh, nothing. We just complain about this show. We usually catch up on the week and talk about mics and showcase stuff.

Yeah, I think I was ready to complain tonight because I was like like we'll do it off mic right after we turn them on because we're trying to change the course of the podcast yeah i think so like that not to not to be like we're positive but it's just like i think people after a while like we get it some people in audiences suck but we literally just talked about that how we like you can't just like yeah be shut shit down just because you don't like it like right to like work through it right that's important yeah we're cool we're evolving we are we're trying on the dig yeah i like that all right anything plugs yeah uh anything plugs plug it sounds like a weird plug company anything plugs but plugs yeah anything-huh. Uh-huh. And then Conan. Somebody's going to be doing Conan tomorrow.

Not me. Hair plugs. Somebody, yeah. I'll never do hair plugs. Never? No way. What if you just got it on your beard? You just filled your beard in even more?

That's a good idea. Maybe I'll do that. Hair plugs. There we go. Yeah. Okay. I like that. I like that.

So, yeah. And then be on the lookout. That could be huge in the Muslim community. We could'll do that. Yeah. Beard plugs. There we go. Yeah. Okay. I like that. I like that. So yeah. And then be on the lookout. That could be huge in the Muslim community. We could like. Oh yeah. The guys. If you can't grow. Imagine being a Muslim who couldn't grow a beard.

What a bummer. I'm a straight white guy and I can't grow a beard. I'm like damn. Yeah. But you got all that hair. Oh thanks man. Well these are actually beard plugs that I put on top. Yeah right.

Look at that fucking hair. Get out of here. I'm taking a pill to maintain it, though. Are you? I am. I am. All right. Let's get them out. Hair plugs. Let's see here. To plug, plug, plug. I'll be back at the DC Improv Lounge on April

12th, and then I will be at Bonkers Casino with Matt Bergman again on April 18th, so come out to that. Well, I'll be at Joe square on april 22nd nice what are you guys doing there oh shit um sorry uh mariel farhees just booked me on the show cool i don't know what it is uh i will do uh april 4th this is march sorry april 4th gin This is March. Sorry. April 4th. Gin and Jokes. I think there's like not many tickets left. April 12th and

13th. I'm featuring at the DC Comedy Loft. Come to that. I'm going to see if I can get a hotel for myself. Dude, you got to do it. And that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Yeah, that's all we need for these. And my special. Buy my special, please. It's on Amazon. It's on Vimeo. Thanks.

Five bucks. Come on. You can afford that. To rent. Buy it for $10. Buy it for, please. It's on Amazon. It's on Vimeo. Thanks. Yeah, five bucks. Come on. You can afford that. To rent. Buy it for ten. Buy it for ten. And come to Baltimore. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Eric, thank you so much for doing the show, man.

And yeah, check us out on all our social media bullshit because we need attention. And David Koechner, take us out. Dick Russian Sessions sessions coming to an end Thank you. Bye.