The Digression Sessions - Ep. 289 - Josh & Umar!

Episode Date: May 13, 2019

Hola Digheads, on this week's episode, Josh and Umar catch up on their week - Game of Thrones, Mothers Day, and Baltimore woes. Follow the podcast and Josh Kuderna, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Laughable, Stitcher, & Spotify plz!

TAGE NETWORK That's a goddy Oh Morty! Hey, welcome to the Digression Sessions podcast everybody Hello Me and Umar here, me Josh Kaderna, your good buddy My good buddy Umar Khan Mother Me, Josh Kodurna, your good buddy. My good buddy, Umar Khan. Mother's Day. It's Mother's Day. You're coming from a family lunch?

Yes. I just posted a picture of me. My mom took and I look miserable. Waiting for those likes to roll in, baby. Yeah, come on. Come mom. Come mom. Yeah, it was fine. Yeah, we we just chilled went to lunch well it's a beautiful day i feel like every time we at every literally every time me and my family are at our dinner we debate religion uh-huh like so me and my brother and that goes well every time right and we didn't get no one got mad at each other but like my dad's like you gotta listen to listen to this scholar. And he's so like, he's like the woke Islam scholar. You know, he's like. What if your dad was just like, Alex Jones.

Yeah. He's my religion now. Yeah. Raheel was quoting Sam Harris. Oh, boy. And I was like, yeah, but dude, Sam Harris is also kind of a cunt. But he is very smart. Very smart.

Yeah. But I don't like him. Yeah. I don't have a reason to not like him. I just don't like him. Yeah. I have that with some people. Annoying. Yeah. I don't have a reason to not like him. I just don't like him. Yeah. I have that with some people. Annoying.

Yeah. I feel like Ben Shapiro, too. I've never listened to him speak for more than like two or three minutes. But I'm like, you just seem like such a little whiny. That's a Jewish guy that just did Rogan. I guess. He's on Rogan a good bit. Yeah, he's not.

I don't think he's smart. He always just seems like the bad guy in the 80s movie where it was just like, now I'm going to do it. It's my turn. Yeah, he's smart he always just seems like like like the bad guy like in the 80s movie where it's just like now i'm gonna do it it's my turn yeah he's like mom that's exactly he's like he's on the spectrum all of his no he is and then all i think i mean he sounds like it and all of his views right are from religion and that's in your professional opinion yes my yeah all of his views are from religion so it's just like oh yeah how much of a fucking uh intellectual can you be it's so weird it's like well the blah blah religion says that a man and a blah blah he's like i mean but i have gay friends and i blah blah i won't go to their wedding because i you know it's an act against my religion it's just like

dude also you're not smart if you say shit shit like that, you're not a smart person. What a catty thing to say, too. Yeah. It's just like, well, I mean, yeah, sure. Have fun burning in hell. I guess I won't be doing that anyway. It's like, shut up. He's like, yeah, whatever.

It's just like, I think you're a good person. Yes. Yeah, that. And then you can't have an era superiority from an intellectual standpoint if you're like because the man in the sky yeah oh and why do you believe that because my parents uh brainwashed me right right and i haven't challenged myself at all well this all came up because my cousin they came to the US like seven, eight years ago. She just graduated college. Just to see Ben Shapiro speak, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're huge Ben heads. Shapiro, baby. Yeah. And they're pretty religious. And she just finished college. And she is dating an Ethiopian American. Okay.

And boy, and he's Christian and boy, oh boy, my family is not happy about it. Like my parents personally don't care that much. Right. It's like,

eh, not our favorite, but yeah, we're not going to be. I think it's more of a he's a Christian than a black guy, but I think the black thing is also fucking with them, too, a little bit.

Like strike one, strike two. Yeah. Look, you're not out. Okay. But play it careful. I think this is an interesting place for her parents because he is a Christian. They just lean on that part. But I'm like, if he was a Muslim, I wonder if they would lean on the black part.

Right, right. You know? Yeah. And he's such a good guy. part but i'm like if he was a muslim i wonder if they would lean on the black part right right you know yeah and he's such a good guy he's in a phd program for public affairs or humanities i don't know what bullshit but it's like a good thing he cooks meals for his church he alone cooked a meal for 300 homeless people damn and like yeah to be fair that's all like finger food though yeah you know what i mean it's like a lot of pasty with your hands he just threw a bunch of fucking uh little pizza bagels in an oven yeah just ground them up and was like yeah thomas but uh yeah so you see i didn't meet him but my mom sent me a text was she was like uh your cousin furry is

dating and uh a black guy and then she sent me pictures of him and she's like, do you think he looks nice? And I was like, yeah, he looks like a fine guy. I don't know who gives a fuck. Did she try to save it and like put Christian with an asterisk? She's like weird autocorrect. Weird autocorrect on that one. Yeah. And so my family's pretty upset about it.

It's so funny. Yeah. And just trying to like veil their racism with religion. Just like you know, you can't really trust those people. Her brother's like upset about it. He's like younger than me. It's so weird. And by those people, I mean Christians.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Christians like to rob a lot. You know what I mean? They love crime. But yeah, I feel so far away from all that stuff. Like nobody in my family cares about religion at all. That's great.

You're so lucky, dude. Yeah. Oh, it is great. Yeah. I mean, they're Jewish, but they're all atheists because they're like, what is this? You know, like culturally. Atheist Jews are the best people to be around. Yeah.

Yeah. They're great because they like hate themselves and no one else. My dad, he's got enough hate for everybody. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. We're watching Game of Thrones today because he doesn't have HBO. Oh, is he into Game of Thrones? Yeah.

Your dad seems like someone who would hate that show. No, he loves it. Because, I mean, it's so well written, too. Like, he was the first person to tell me about Game of Thrones. He's like, really? There's a show on HBO. And it sounded nuts. He's like, yeah, It's a show on HBO. And it sounded nuts. He's like, yeah, it's a show on HBO where it's like there's zombies, but it's in the medieval times.

They're like, what? He's like, yeah. And then there's this midget on the show. And he's the best. He's just fucking everybody up. He's the smartest guy. I'm like, what show is this? But so HBO got a dispute with DirecTV.

So now DirecTV doesn't have HBO. Oh, that sucks. So he hasn't seen any of the new season. So he came over and we're working on a website for his company that he might be doing. Making like mailboxes for HOAs and stuff.

So he did it for my uncle. So he's like, yeah, you put a website together? He's like, I think so. I've certainly heard enough Squarespace ads on podcasts. It can't be. It's drag and drop. Yeah. So we worked on that while watching the season of Game of Thrones. And he was like, yeah, see, if I was on this show, I couldn't do it.

You know, I don't care. Let them all die. Fuck them. He's like, I don't want to be king to save the planet. Who cares? He wouldn't want to be like Jon Snow? Well, yeah, because that's, I mean, what you're trying to say on the show is like Daenerys is like, I want to free all the people. I'm the breaker of chains.

Yeah, but she wants to be a dictator. She's not a good person. I've never liked her because she just seemed cocky. And now it's coming out. It's definitely coming out. I think she's going to turn evil. Somebody on my Facebook, dude, did I send that to you? It was so funny.

I think I sent it to Evan. It's just so funny how seriously people take... Game of Thrones. Well, just everything. This girl made a post about Daenerys. I think it's just denarius but when you say like it sounds like denarius is a black girl yeah yeah or like an nba star it's like dude you see denarius last night you went off against the warriors yeah so and she's a very nice person i consider her a friend but this post was just so funny i mean in like uh i was laughing at it it

was how do people feel about game of thrones using powerful using the powerful female character as an example of someone whose anger they want to look too irrational to rule questioning her sanity are we past the stigma with that in 2019 are this still a problem and it's like dude you're just removing everything from context yeah like her dad was a mad king it runs in their blood to like also all the people left in charge are women yeah like cersei a woman yeah sansa a woman aria who killed the fucking night king do you think they did that on purpose because they were getting a lot of flack? I don't know. The creator said they knew like four seasons ago it was going to be her.

Is what they said. They could just be saying that like in retrospect, you know? Which is like, no, no, no. We plan that for sure. And they did a really interesting thing where they're making you like all the characters that they wanted. Like at first that they made you fall in love with now it all turned like everyone thought sansa was a cunt now she's great everyone hated uh or everyone loved danny and now she's kind of yeah well she wanted power and just is not good at having it which is not like oh yeah classic woman thing that has dragons see she's pretty you know how these broads get with their dragons i feel about portraying women

with dragons as uh jealous as unstable yeah but also yeah anybody would be jealous of those like no no like i'm supposed to be in charge. And they're like, ah, my whole life was based around that. Well, she even knows. Well, this is the worst. She even knows now she doesn't have the, she isn't the rightful heir. And then she's still like, but I thought about it for so long. Yeah. I don't have like an identity without this.

I identify as queen. You know what I mean? Yeah. Everybody's big up and saying like, go off queen, and I am. But it is going to be interesting tonight, Omar. I mean, we do. Two more. When this comes out, people will have seen it probably.

But it's interesting. It's on Mother's Day, and we got Cersei in the game. Oh, shit. So somebody could die tonight. Somebody could. I don't think Cersei's going to die tonight. Not tonight? I think she'll die tomorrow. Somebody could. I don't think Cersei's going to die tonight. Not tonight? I think she'll die tomorrow.

I mean, next week. I really want to see the Hound fight the Mountain. Yes. Do you think that'll happen? Yeah. At some point. I think Arya's going to kill him. Ooh, interesting.

But the Hound will still die, right? Ooh, you think the Hound's going to die? He's got to. There's going to be some heartbreaking shit. Yeah. But I was surprised they killed uh spoiler alert i mean we've been spoiling the whole time you're right i was surprised they killed uh uh the um danny's like uh oh jorah jorah yeah i don't know names yeah i don't know anyone's names

well we re-watched them or i re-watched them today. And I got to say, rewatching, I liked it a little better. And for the battle scene, I had the TV brightness way the fuck up, so I could kind of see what was going on. Oh, yeah. We rewatch every ep right before the new one. Gotcha. But, yeah, we watched the first three back to back, and I was like, this is actually pretty good.

Yeah, that's what I thought of season seven. I remember hating season seven when we were rewatching it.ing it i was like yeah this is actually a good season yeah they're moving stuff like pretty quick but i really like uh the dude torment when they're at winterfell he's so funny but after the battle when like he's just like super drunk yeah just like spilling wine everywhere he comes over to the table with like Jamie and Tyrion and Brienne. He's all fucked up. And he's like, now which one of you cowards shit in my pants? That was a good line.

I love that. I love it. Yeah. I've been feeling like a little about the season. They're just like rushing to wrap shit up. But it's fine. Yeah. It's good.

It's a TV show. It's a TV show. It's still entertaining. It might be one of the last shows where everyone's huddling around. Because everything just gets dumped online. This show still comes out. Yeah. You know, once a week or whatever.

So that's a nice for not dude but people ruin spoilers boo is uh humping was he fucking that thing yeah he likes to fuck his bed damn let's tell you hit me too boo he's yeah he nasty one time i saw him fucking that bed and he like bit it and growled i was like damn you a freak treat that thing with respect you don't kink shame boo i'm not i'm just saying i had no idea uh yeah he has his little bed here in the kitchen and it's up against the wall usually just lays in it but now and again i'll hump it the other day we came home from work and his bed was like in the middle of the kitchen i was like you had quite the time today huh it really went out

you moved it like 10 feet damn um yeah man but uh now i'm feeling kind of sick now too that sucks lasting forever yeah i woke up is karen still sick i think so she comes back from arizona today i forgot she was there yeah they're out there for that bachelorette weekend and uh dude i have to pick them up so late what time their plane gets in at 2 a.m yeah dude it is in i'd be like why don't you take a uber i just hope that there's an uber there i'm guessing there is there oh yeah like 24 hours there and i have done that yeah i think that's what i'm gonna tell them because that's crazy yeah i'm gonna get back in that so their flights got all fucked up it was supposed to be late but not that late oh so their flights it was funny we worked out a deal where my buddy mace he was

gonna drop them off because their flight was supposed to leave on thursday at like seven in the morning uh-huh so they would have to leave at like 4 30 in the morning right and mace is like all right well i'll do the early one you do the late one and i thought i was gonna have to pick them up at like 10. That's fine. Everything got bumped. Why? So then their flight got canceled.

It's just because. They just, Southwest is like. Airlines are such pieces of shit, dude. The day before, the afternoon before is like your flight's canceled. Going and coming? Yeah. So they had to move everything around. Holy shit.

Yeah. So Karen's like, we get in at two. I'm like, yo. Did they get hook them up or anything? I't know i don't think so and they got fucked over too because they're supposed to be direct flights and now there's layovers oh my god brutal right yeah right i'm just picturing people that are poor on the bus listening to this like that poor girl is she okay the things these guys are going through i feel like if you're listening to our podcast you you fly you're doing well you're doing okay you're doing great yeah we don't pod for fucking losers do you think poor people listen to podcasts

i don't think poor people listen to podcasts what do they listen to nothing like like nothing i don't think they're listening to us yeah not enough people are yeah what are you gonna do yeah really famous no i mean i'm sure some poor people are uh i mean podcast if you got a phone you get a podcast i do always think about like what is interesting and then like when i'm listening to podcasts i'm like these people aren't talking about anything either oh i'm listening oh yeah and i'm like if i'm like, as soon as I'm out of the car, I'm like, earpods it. Yeah. And I'll just keep listening to this conversation.

That's semi-interesting. I'm on board with it. Did you see, you know, there was a, well, you know, we were making fun of that ceasefire thing. Playfully. Oh, yeah. So in Baltimore this weekend, there was a ceasefire from what? Like Friday to today? Which is like, I guess it's like a community-based group that puts things... I think they do events to kind of help deter crime.

I'm not well read on what they do exactly. Right, but I've seen... So I think it used to be just like one day. Where it was like one day and they just say, nobody kill anybody. Yeah, although they've been doing weekends for a while okay like one day like karen i remember they did some bike ride and they burned sage to the city so i'm sure that helped oh my god you know when like you know when like drug dealers and whatever smell sage that puts them in a good mood they said the number one cause of crime bad vibes dude oh yeah yeah that's why

you're supposed to keep sage in your car you sniff it it calms you you don't get road rage right somebody i actually dated a girl who did that sure or like maybe knew a girl or something and i was like are you out of your fucking like do you think that works yeah there's no way in hell that works i like the people that have dream catchers in their car, like off of their rear view. I'm like, are you sleeping at the wheel? What dreams are being affected here? My room, Evan has a dream catcher in his room. And I'm like, what are you, a fucking 17-year-old girl? What are you doing?

What is a dream catcher do? And if we're going to believe that, like, okay, you have a dream catcher. So you're saying that like a naughty demon comes in at night and he sees this thing of yarn and he's like not nuts is that what is that what the dream it keeps away bad bad dreams it's supposed to prevent bad dreams well yeah well i don't know if that's true but i think it's pretty scientific dude that's true yeah yeah why wouldn't it yeah you know what i mean just like a yeah i'm a flat earther dude so i try to avoid the bad dreams about like round earth yeah you know which is like the living nightmare damn dude you know what i'm saying but yeah so yeah there's the ceasefire this weekend where nobody can kill nobody

and uh i talked a lot of shit well this uh the guy who owns Riley Oyster made a tweet about it. I saw that. Oh, my God. It was bad. Why would you do that? It was like... Here, let me pull it up. It was...

And he also retweets all this Trump stuff. So he's clearly a racist. And he doesn't... That's the funniest part. It's like people are like, Oh, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard.'s clearly a racist and he doesn't that's the funniest part it's like people like oh there's a funny thing i've ever heard i'm a racist that's like uh it's just like well dude if you fucking act like one and you talk like one and you support other ones support other ones what the fuck do you think people are gonna think maybe you actually don't have heart that much hate in your heart right for black people i don't know but it comes

off that way and if no it's and you do but you just don't realize it like you don't have enough wherewithal to just yeah just because you're saying like no i don't feel that way it's like but the things you're saying are fucked up and racist you understand that right like oh come on no so his tweet was thug number one i'm gonna put a cap in your ass, thug number one, I'm going to put a cap in your ass. Sure. Thug number two, yo, it's a ceasefire weekend. Thug number one, oh, dear, sir, please forgive me for my behavior as I put my snubby back in my sock. Said no thug ever.

Thugs don't give a F about a ceasefire. I like he's just being racist, but he has to censor. F. He's like, you know what? I'm a business owner. I can, like, he's just being racist, but he has to censor. F. Like, he's like, you know what? I'm a business owner. I can't be seen saying fucking public. When I'm making my racist comments, I got to watch it. Yeah.

Okay. I don't want to get vulgar. Yeah. Thugs don't give a F about a ceasefire, you village idiot. Yeah. If I get vulgar, I'm no better than a thug. And then, so you're calling, like, a group of black people village idiots that's so racist right well isn't that what your mom called your cousins whoa whoa um yeah a pretty tight village if uh your dumbest person is still in a phd program

strong yeah yeah and can cook whoa yeah but why yeah why even like wade into that if you're a business owner just don't post any it can't be good no unless your opinion is like i don't know it's fuck the police don't share it right and and it's a positive thing like yes yeah it is it is weird to say like like, to have to stress, to be like, please, just nobody kill anybody. Yeah. Like, it's weird to say that. Yes, I think so. But it's a thing that happens. So to be positive about it, like, support it. What's the worst? That it works, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And then be like, stupid, village idiots. Like, oh, buddy. Yeah. Karen wanted to have sex this weekend i was like i can't i

can't kill that pussy oh good for you man good for you dog i was like i gotta support that ceasefire you know what i mean i'll eat your butt all right there you go but i'm not gonna murder it just kidding guys she's in georgia so visiting her parents oh yeah that's cute that's cute um yeah we were uh talking about uh baltimore on saturday i went to a barbecue and uh a friend actually like works in the mayor's office oh nice and so there's some people there from the mayor's office that like work on her team and it was just like so how's work been going for you guys like god it is a fucking mess and uh did you know that baltimore city got hacked yeah i had no idea i mean i learned about a few days ago like before the barbecue yeah but yeah so somebody some hacker

is just like uh i guess it's gonna try to take baltimore's funds or something it's like if you hacked in you know that we're not doing great right yeah what money are you taking we're a weird city to target to ransom yeah like what okay uh there was this girl there trying to get that healthy holly money back yeah yeah yeah it's katherine pew um but uh yeah there was a girl there that uh it was like a little drunk and they're like talking about it like how weird it was to like open your laptop and have like a note that's like this is so and so and i've hacked into the system blah blah don't contact the fbi and you're like whoa and they were saying like the rules like what you're supposed to do with your laptop and now you have to like work around it and it's just so weird and the girl's like i

still use my laptop and i think her boss was there and he was like what she's like yeah nobody told me not to he's like yeah they did and i was just looking at paul just like is this like the part in the movie where you think it's not believable you know what i mean it's like well how do they get in the system like some girl was just using her laptop still like just typing her passwords that's so tight like god baltimore and then we were talking about uh luke catelli running for mayor yeah mayor of hamden bad look god yeah so he's like a dude that's in his what 40s 50s 50s and wears short shorts year-round like super short shorts he says he's 21 on instagram or 29 sorry on uh on uh tinder tinder he says he's 29 because i matched yeah i was

hanging out i was on a date actually and the girl was on tinder and uh and for fun i was like hey let's just swipe through tinder and uh i think we matched with him yeah and he and his age was 29 and we were fucking with it and dude stew responded immediately to her message yeah and it was just so fun fucking with him and it's like uh yeah he's a weird dude he's kind of a creep yeah people have a lot of stories where he's pretty creepy a lot yeah i actually had a girl message me two years ago about him and she was like hey do you know this guy he he was hanging out i just felt like he was really inappropriate like he was just kind of gross with me yeah yeah that's where it's like

not where it's like not where it's like assault but it's just like what are you doing yeah he's a creep and he's not doing he's just making people uncomfortable right right you know it's just like no i'm just like pretty like which like if louis ck does it i'm fine with it because he's like very talented right but right you could tell you that's the thing it's like dirty ital if you're going to be a creep, you better have some talent. Yeah. You understand? I did get, yeah. Well, never mind. Speaking of talented creeps.

I think I was drunk one day after a gin and jokes, and my friend was trying to talk to me about Louie, and I was just being super loud. I was like, I mean, what did he do? Seriously. And I saw the bartender. It was a woman, her face. And I was just like, I mean, I get it was not cool, but, and then I'm like, what am I a woman her Face and I was just like I mean I get It was not cool but and then I'm like what

Am I doing right now I got Like another thing this ceasefire You think these thugs You think these thugs and red Heads care about your rights Said no one ever Which is also played out joke format Yeah said no one uh i don't know

whatever fuck it but what are you talking about oh lucatelli lucatelli but yeah him running for mayor and like it was just funny to have people of color at the barbecue they're just like nah but also no one outside of hamden knows who this guy is right you know yeah so my thing is is just leave it alone let him run he will not win right like it's just he's a crazy literal crazy person who's who's like he has a huge hole in his heart yeah his heart and he's just delusional about his chances but we're i think it's another stunt well we're saying too that because somebody's like i can't win it's like well we said that about trump and like what if he actually does get elected you know what i thought the same thing like you there's just no rules anymore there's no uh yeah there's just there's no playbook yeah so it's saying like

how like trump like galvanized all like the shitheads just like yeah and they like had their red hat on like what if like just creepy guys like finally somebody for us and like the new red hat is just shitty like bike shorts that everybody wears all over like that's their mega hat uh i was thinking about that with hamden the other day is uh if like you convince someone like who's never been here or whatever or like i don't know like hey we have a time machine yeah knock them out and then wake up in hamden yeah it would be a very they're like you see all these like chimney sweep looking people and all these like people who look like they're like uh like literally people in overalls yeah overalls fucking people who look like uh uh uh i don't

know like old blue collar workers like a factory factory workers where they're wearing like these denim jeans and boots and whatever but they don't ever you know they're where they're wearing like these denim jeans and boots and whatever but they don't ever you know they're fucking they're a graphic designer yeah and then like oh my god am i in the 20s right now right and then they walk into like rocket to venus and then like see a bunch of people who look like they're motley crew and they're like oh it's the fucking 80s 90s it's such a weird little then if you go into a townie bar, you're like, is it 1940? I don't know. Yeah, exactly.

It's so weird here. It's like, what is going on? That's a balance, man. That's a nice balance. Yeah, that's true. We got our little boutiques and we got our parks and stuff. I was in D.C. on Wednesday and Friday. Dude, D.C. when it's nice out is so nice.

Oh, yeah. The women are incredible. Yeah. It's just like too good. Yeah, there's just a lot of pretty ladies out there. Yeah. Yeah, especially when they're like jogging and on the yoga class and stuff. Oh, my God.

The yoga pants. It's just like, it's so depressing. I guess this is where we should say we're voting for Luke Catelli. Yes, we are. Hey, you can't. There's nothing wrong with looking. Yeah. Hey, that's what he said.

That's Luke Catelli. There's nothing wrong with looking. That's his slogan. Yeah, for 2020. He's like, I'm looking to be in the mayor's office. Yeah, on Wednesday, I did two shows. But the first show was like a brand new show and uh yeah it was uh dom rivera he put it on uh and the comedy block or whatever yeah and it's

so the cool part of town like it's in like the more diverse part of town okay um uh but it's like a brand new show it's the worst time of year to start a new show it's nice out no one's going to a comedy show it's you know it felt like it's a bar it's a bar show yeah like kind of like what i used to do at pratt street ale house uh-huh and so um i think there's like eight people there but it was still fun because you're just fucking around and doing crowd work. And I have this one joke where I talk about like coming quick or something. And after I finished the joke, I'm like, this guy knows what I'm talking about. And he like gets a huge laugh.

And it was just so funny because this one girl had a disgusted look on her face. Like the whole show, she just was like, it is not her fault. It's just awkward. And I did that line. And then another lady just like, that's's her dad and then it was so fun like talking about his sex life in front of her daughter yeah that was cool yeah again the stuff you could say on stage that you can get away with is so funny yeah you're just in conversation like this fucking guy comes huh yeah hey and then uh on friday it was so funny i did two shows at big hunt and the first show

was great second show uh it was pretty rough but uh there was a girl in the front row who had uh um it's like this super hot girl who had like a um uh like a bandage thing over her nose and uh i wanted to talk about it so bad, but I was like, ah, she probably got like plastic surgery. Like just got a nose job. And she's really self,

and you know, she might be self-conscious about it. It's not a fun thing to bring up. So I let it go. And then Benji, he's closing out the show. He's on stage and he's just riffing with the crowd for a while. And I think he was just asking people what they do and

she said she's a boxer oh okay and uh and she kind of looked like she could be you know like she was pretty sturdy and uh like she was in shape a sturdy woman yeah i mean she was like like she looked like she worked out and stuff and sure she wasn't like super skinny and uh um uh and he's like are you really a boxer he's like oh is that why you have like a fucked up nose right now do you're in a fight and she's like she was like no i'm not really a boxer and he's like oh well what happened to your nose and he's like wait do i want to know she's like and then do i want to know she well oh no you know what she said he said like, oh, is that why it's on your nose? And then she goes, I can't believe any.

You're like, I'm waiting for someone to ask me about it. That's you can't do that. And then Benji asked her about it. Guess what happened? Some dude punched her in the face. And then it got so fucking awkward. And it's like, why would you set him up for that? Why would you be like, hey, ask me about this thing during a comedy show.

And then your ex-boyfriend punches you in the face. Yeah. Was that what happened? I don't know. I think that's what she made it sound like. Because she said, you should see the other guy. And Benji's like, a dude punching? He's like, all right, let's move on.

Let's move. And it was fine. He played it off. Because everyone in the crowd was like what the fuck is this doing yeah it was so just battered like i've been waiting to talk about my abusive husband let's go immediately after that benji maybe like like a minute after he's like does anyone here have kids and one guy and then no one said anything one guy's like by the bar uh-huh and he's like oh you you got kids dude he's like how many he's like five and then by the bar. And he's like, oh, you got kids, dude? He's like, how many? He's like, five.

Five. Yeah, and then it was just like. There's too many. And then it came out like his wife left him. She's apparently like she's a lesbian. So she left him for another woman. But she's like, are you being serious? It took her five kids to realize that?

Yeah, I guess. Five? Hey, man. Hey, man. Everyone's journey is a little different. Damn. and then so you crank out five kids through hetero sex then you're like you know what after five kids you'd be like fuck sex with a dude yeah uh if this is what it leads to i'm a lesbian my pussy is right yeah i'm done yeah so nobody kill no pussy and he's like and then benji's like oh man you

probably don't see your kids a lot, huh? He's like, yeah, no, not really. And then it was just like so sad. What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. It was like the worst like weekend of crap. Yeah.

But he played it off. But it was just like a couple of moments of like, what is everyone doing right now? Yeah. It's like, sir, you look a little sleepy. It's like, oh, I'm addicted to heroin. Oh, good. Good. Oh, man. yeah it's like sir you look a little sleepy it's like oh i'm addicted to heroin oh good good yeah i'll get that now and again at rag time in arlington since it's near the arlington cemetery yeah like i've i've had it twice now where i'm trying to do crowd work i just like oh what are

you guys what brought you to the show like funeral i'm like cool very cool you should start like if you're here for your funeral please please do not answer this question. They're actually both times. They've been the coolest people in the crowd because I think when you get buried at Arlington, it takes so long because there's military. So exactly. It takes a while. So they've like kind of made their peace with it. So like I'll usually just fuck around and be like, oh, that's interesting because they're here tonight.

Get on out. And I'll like open the curtain because they're like, we're burying my dad i'm like and he's here um yeah no that is always weird when it's just like no like what happened they're like something sad you're like oh cool very cool yeah i did crowd work with a couple um because i forget what i did it was like the um it was like a making fun of like karen for wanting to get married or something like that and it was just like a very like bro kind of looking dude but like of the hippie type where it's just like a little bit bigger big beard big ponytail like shorts had his flip-flops on he's just like yes and i was like

dude he's like are you in a relationship you're definitely not in a happy one right yeah like the chick across the moon she was like i'm buying the house just like unprofit i was like dang okay all right damn that's like i was like what you're not bringing home any money sir what do you do he's like i quit my job today i was like oh no what's whole food's gonna do without you oh no yeah i did uh i put together this like uh benefit show for creative alliance yeah last night oh man it was uh i was so nervous because it's like through my work so it's like every end of the year the baltimore like city association of school psychologists they do like a a charity event yeah they do like a yeah like a fundraising event for a local charity and this year um we thought it'd be cool to pick creative alliance and um which was nice because they've been so nice to me and um so but i was

like they were like we should do a comedy show and like this was back in the beginning of the school year and i was just like i was like i don't want i don't think that's a good idea we should not do that and my friend's like nah come on man it'll be good we'll do it i was like all right i'll book it and that's all i'm gonna do so then like and then that's all that happened yeah well then we booked the show and then i mean we sold a lot of tickets we sold like all together like i think like almost like 190 tickets. Right. So that's good.

Yeah, that's great. We raised like over $7,000. Awesome. But I was so nervous yesterday, dude, like because I was just like, it's just a room for your coworker. It's literally 150 plus people who are your coworkers and their family members. And you're just like it's a merging of two worlds yeah and you're just like it's you we've done corporate gigs yeah most of the time

the crowd sucked they're up they're scared it's not that they're dumb or they're like dumb people or they're uptight people but you're just near your co-workers you don't want to laugh at the wrong thing exactly and so i was so i was like i could enjoy the night i didn't eat anything you don't want to be like phil really laughed at that anal joke yeah no i didn't know i'm just like running around every comic except for chris allen's running late i'm like god damn it this is gonna suck if i and like the host of this shit like i didn't want to perform i was like i'm not performing this yeah there's no upside to that even if i do well who gives a shit because if i it's just not with a payoff isn't worth the risk

you're just trying to get back to even yeah if i bomb it's way worse because everyone's just gonna be like so much of what they all know me for is like comedy comedian and they're just like holy shit he's so not funny like this is what you do yeah this is this is your thing and then if you do well like they're just like oh okay it's not yeah it's not like they're gonna hold you in more high esteem you just get back to where you were in the beginning exactly it's not gonna pay any dividends in the future right right and then it's just weird to do like in a uh to plan an event and make yours insert yourself in it you know yeah yeah so uh but violet i asked to host and i was like i told everyone i was like please to god get there at

7 30 i sent multiple reminders the parking sucks dick just get there at 7 30 it is 755 violet's not there and i'm like oh my god if i have to host this and the show starts at eight yeah yeah i was like if i have to host this show i will fucking kill myself sucks anyway because yeah the whole time you have to be on too you're like hey yeah and that's just your co-worker it would just suck it would suck and uh but uh violet got there like just in time right as soon as she got there we went up on stage and uh uh but dude the show it was one of the best shows like from top to bottom it was one of those shows where like every comic crush but every comic is crushing harder and harder uh-huh and uh dude it was so fun watching chris because chris like

went at them so hard like you know he just like making fun of how it's like he's like i thought this is like a school event for Baltimore City Schools. All these fucking white people here. And just roasting them. And, like, one, there's my one coworker. Like, her husband. I have a picture of it. He was wearing, he was, like, wearing, like, an Annapolis bro-y, like, he had, like, a checkered, like, gingham shirt tucked into tucked into like navy shorts and was wearing boat shoes.

Oh, boy. He had his legs crossed in the front row. Like a white belt on. And Chris just like, you know, making fun of the way he was sitting and stuff. And at one point during the show, Chris was like, say the N-word. Say it. It's going to make me hard. Say it.

Jesus. It was, dude, but I forgot the context of it it was crushing right he said i'm hard right now like everyone went crazy awesome and uh it was great and then ramin just was just murdering like uh yeah just saying awful shit right in front of jews and koreans and like they were they were the black women were so into it oh that's great like hearing like the like it was so good there was dying one point like ramin was doing that joke about how his mom roasted him on facebook for having a small dick yeah and when he hit that punch line literally the whole audience bent they all went oh like in unison bent forward wave yeah

and he dude like he crushed so hard it was a great night so awesome man it was awesome i was like oh thank god yeah i mean you put together a really great lineup and i think yeah in the context like if you do a corporate thing typically it's like in a sterile kind of environment. Yes. And Creative Alliance is beautiful. It's a cool theater. So it's set up like a real show. And, you know, it's very like you had it lit well, too.

So people don't have to be self-conscious of being like too out in the open. I felt like such a con because when I put on a show, I'm so OCD. Yeah. So the sound guy gets there and like I just giving him all these things to do. So we're going through sound check and Miles is setting up his drums because we had Miles drum before as the show was filling in. Yeah, like playing to music. And I'm glad we did it and it went over great, I think. Yeah. But I just felt like maybe, what is the saying?

The juice ain't worth the squeeze. What is it? The juice are terrible. Is that what it is? Yeah. The juice aren't worth it. No. Six million just for that?

All right. Yeah. Juice isn't worth the squeeze. Yeah. I think it was maybe that kind of a situation for Miles. But I think he said it was fine because the doors for the theater open at 730, but everyone else is in this huge lobby. There's multiple spaces everyone's in.

So it's going to take people a minute to get in there. Yeah, and they're not going to go to the showroom if they don't have to. Miles is literally drumming for 10 minutes. By himself. There's no one in there. Yeah. And his mom comes up to me. She's like, I feel bad for Miles. I was like well i got my baby boy i was like well what the

fuck do you want me to do lady like uh i can't it's like will you come dance yeah i felt bad i was like i know i'm trying really hard to get people to move in there but yeah they you know they want to drink they want to eat well also miles knows like and because he said yeah he told me about it he was was like... Yeah. Initially, it was like, I'll play in the lobby. And they're like, well, can we move you to the stage? And I think... I honestly think it's better that didn't happen.

They could have just put him in the middle, like where the artwork is, too. Like, not like right when you walk in the door. No, they didn't want him in there. Oh. They said there's not enough room. And I think they were right. Okay. Well, I mean, it's...

Yeah. Either way, it's like a lot. Yeah. and it would not have sounded good in the lobby but uh so uh oh fuck i forgot what i was going with that miles is drumming yeah people are taking their time people are taking their time ah his mom is upset that her baby boy is all alone in there uh fuck the jews jews why did i say yeah but it worked it worked out fine yeah uh the whole night was great it was just a lot it was a lot to plan yeah annoying yeah yeah uh but fuck there was a story i had a punchline god damn it fuck uh oh yeah so we're setting up and i'm being so cunty about oh the sound guy i'm just giving like my ocd is coming out i'm like uh this so like the sound guy because like miles at first

like i'll just set up my drums no microphones and stuff and then the sound guy's like are you sure and i was like i was like well if you think i was like do you think it'll sound better with microphones and like you know setting up micing drums is kind of annoying it's not terrible it's not terrible but i was like uh and miles like i think we're fine and i was like is it gonna be better with mics and the sound guy's like, probably. I was like, yeah, let's do that. Yeah, it would be better. And then we're going over the lighting.

And I'm just like, I made him go through like 10 different lighting situations. I'm like, I don't know. Well, Ramit has all those cues, right? Yeah. He's like, we don't like Koreans. And the yellow lights come up. Yeah. It's a whole thing.

And then he's setting up the microphone the sound guy and uh it's a cordless mic and i do not like cordless mics and i'm like could we uh could we do a wire mic and he's like you don't like uh he's like and i was like yeah i just don't trust him he's like oh well we use cordless mics for every show i was like yeah i know but can we just have like a wire mic and then uh so he says the wire mic i was like hey can we just have like a wire mic? And then so he said to the wire mic, I was like, hey, can we also have a backup mic? He's like, I mean, we never had a mic fail at a show. And I'm like, yeah, but you know, what are you going to do? Let's just, why does it matter?

Let's just have one there. Yeah. But whatever, dude, you fucking, because dude, when we did Ramin's show, that fucking mic cut out on me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It sucked. Well, that was cordless, yeah. Yeah. No, you're not wrong.

You're not wrong. Yeah, I just felt so bad. But it is. Dude, the theater looks insane. They put up all these other cool Einstein light bulbs that dangle. And when Miles was drumming, we had a disco ball going. The lights just shined. It was fucking awesome and uh we packed

the place uh it was great is that what they're called einstein light bulbs i think so right what is that oh fuck um edison yeah i decided yeah i was like that einstein because at first i thought you were saying they had like a graphic so it looked like einstein's yeah because it was like a wet of einstein yeah like i think it like yeah just like smart stuff einstein bulbs is like what that's so good yeah yeah uh it was a great night awesome man yeah no yesterday i just had a low-key day we went to that barbecue went to rem fest and hung out and i think i was in bed by like 10 really oh man yeah i felt bad i didn't know that chris tested texted you last night yeah my phone was in the other room charging and then chris was like oh shit josh texted us an hour ago and uh we were you know

having good time having good time dude chris was he was gone it was really but he is so funny when he's uh having good times good times he uh he was roasting evan and uh the new girl he's seeing uh so anytime the girl would say anything he would just look at me he'd be like oh boy and then she was i could tell like she was getting a little like what are you making fun of me and? And then I'm trying to be like, dude, chill. And then Chris is like, man, you're being awkward. He's like, it was fine until you said something. And I'm like, I don't think it was. But I think she's just being nice.

She doesn't want to. I think even in front of Evan, she's trying to look like, no, it's cool. I can hang. I can take it. Right. I thought he was being unfairly mean to her. Yeah, you just see one tear rolling down yeah it's like i'm cool he was making fun of her more than anyone else in the room i just think he got a vibe from her he didn't like for some reason and uh he told her

to say the n word it'll get him hard yeah he kept just just anytime she would she couldn't say any like she would say something he's like that's what you're gonna contribute that's oh boy what an asshole what an asshole and then he texts me today he's like dude i think your roommate didn't like me i was like i think he did but i mean also why would he why i was like i could see why he would might feel yeah yeah it was yeah of course but that's just chris but when he's like that i guess he's just like on level 10 just to bust and balls balls yeah like we wanted to watch rick and morty and he's a we were watching bob's burgers and chris loves bob's burgers and we were like dude i think you would like rick and morty you've never seen it so we put it on and the whole time he's like yeah it's a great show guys it's a great show and it's just like you're not even watching it yeah no like you're just being cunty to be yeah like it's just like hi dad he's like

oh this is the show this is the show everybody's raving about yeah so that was funny because like he like you know my place is pretty nice and he's just like he was just like oh man i he's like you could fuck so many white chicks in this place and he's's just like, I'm sure, digging him a door. He's like, man, I feel like I'm about to cheat on my wife tonight. Because we're both sitting on a couch. We're sharing wings. And then I was like, he was complaining about being cold. I was like, hey, man, do you want to put this blanket?

And he's like, no, man, I'm not having sex with you tonight. I'm not putting that blanket on. I'm like, okay. And then we were still hungry. So I made us popcorn. At like 1 a.m., I'm not having sex with you tonight. I'm not putting that blanket on. I'm like, okay. And then we were still hungry, so I made us popcorn. At like 1 a.m., I'm making popcorn. And not from a bag, but like kernels, whatever. Yeah, I did that on Friday night. And I was making popcorn and do whatever,

and I had a towel over my shoulder. And he's like, make it the towel over your shoulder. I'm not fucking you tonight. This is so funny. That's what would put it over the edge. Which like that's what trying to look like oh professional like i'm trying yeah i'm looking cool i'm a cook you're making popcorn yeah my artisanal popcorn oh man and he was like man i feel like i'm about that so guilty right now just eating wings with another dude yeah i'm nasty we because uh evan and his girl came in we told him we ordered wings and she's like yes and then uh chris is like and

then when they like left for a little bit he's like i'm not sharing my wings with them and then so like dude we crush these wings and he was like man, I wanted to eat them before they got back. Jesus. Jesus. Yeah. We don't need to eat 12 wings each. Wings, apparently, Evan was like, dude, do you know like 10 wings are like a thousand calories? I was like, no way. Well, they're deep fried.

I did not put that together last night. Yeah. And I woke up today feeling so gross. Yeah, dude. Yeah, they're deep fried. And then popcorn, it's low-cal but it's so it sits in your stomach oh i mean corn moves pretty quick you know we ate if you're buttering it up yeah i didn't put any butter oh i i gotta butter that dude i cook uh avocado oil that

because avocado oil burn has a higher burn rate and uh because olive oil it this uh it starts smoking so quick it has a low burn whatever yeah yeah but avocado oil pretty tight dude it makes it way better yeah noted i like that yeah me and paul ended up after like a day of day drinking ended up at art house and i just i just housed the entire pizza art house is so good so yeah i bet i was it's funny like you know when you're like kind of drunk and you're just like i should eat some good food let me get the pizza with the arugula on like that'll make up for a day of beer i know i'm fucking up my diet dude i mean but i'm not drinking so that helps oh yeah yeah i mean that's no calories dude

yeah so no i've been i've been pretty good about yeah i didn't get a chance to to run yesterday but you know i'm so ripped as it is you know really i'm just kind of like maintaining a statuesque body there you go you know what i mean hey you know what i'm saying you're gonna do i'll do some push-ups today but yeah oh dude karen just texted me and said their flight is delayed an hour i'm like dude i'm not coming yeah dude how many people is it uh what's it's gonna be her and lauren where does lauren live medfield no lauren lives like out in the county like but her car is here so they're gonna come back to the house they can split an uber oh yeah it'll be like 40 bucks who gives a fuck yeah yeah they were just worried about them being there because it's 3 in the morning.

Oh, shit. I didn't think about that part. I think they'll... Yeah, that's... No, I wouldn't mind getting them. I'm just saying it's so fucking late. It's ridiculous. Yeah.

But I'm sure that they have like 24-hour... Like, Ubers have to just be at the airport all the time. Yeah. So a lot of them will cancel your trip once they see it's in the city oh fuck that because a lot of them won't want to come here no that happened to karen and i we got canceled on three times are you serious yeah damn that's never happened to me and then you have to go upstairs you have to catch an uber upstairs you can't catch it on the ground right i didn't know that yeah they pick you up like at departures right so we told them well i. Well, I was like, Karen, we're not going back upstairs.

So I put a note. I was like, hey, we're downstairs. And then like the guy canceled. And I was like, I think we have to go upstairs. Yeah, definitely. He's like, all right, well, I'm down. You'll get fined like a lot. Yeah.

Yeah. I almost got a ticket there once. And I was parked just like for like half a second with my blinkers on. This dude was so fucking pissed. Like a Department of Homeland Security. He's like, you got to get out of here like what all right you know because you can't park you can be there for us he was waited for like 10 minutes he was pissed so i don't know it was just i guess a guy just like showing off his like i'm in charge but yeah man yeah so yeah this

weekend yeah weekend was good but just just, like, feeling, like, kind of shitty today where I feel like it's, like, finally catching up with me, whatever the fuck was going around. I gotta go grocery shop and cook, and I stayed up late every... I didn't leave DC until 1.30 a.m. on Friday because I just had such a shitty set

the second show. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was talking to Sean for a long time. Then me and Andy Klein were talking forever. And it's fun to talk to those dudes. It was talking to Sean for a long time. Then me and Andy Klein were talking forever. It's fun to talk to those dudes. It was fun. It was a good conversation. Yeah.

You know, you kind of learn some stuff like what Sean, he's like the booker, what he's looking for and what he thinks of you. And he's just like, it just sucks because he's like, yeah, you are really inconsistent in this room. Uh-huh. Which, it's fair. But yeah. But the room, i would say is

inconsistent you wouldn't say he's wrong but yeah he's not wrong but it's not fun to hear no a guy who like you know that's not pat well yeah like he can like he's a booker rolls how much money you make sure wants to book you or not yeah ever whatever but right yeah so i then i get home to like three o'clock oh man and then we didn't go to bed until 2 a.m last night yeah that's it's funny because yeah i got home friday not too late from bethesda the show was so fun i stayed a little late because the security guard i was like doing jokes about being a history major and he was like oh i love history i'm actually he does the thing like he was all tatted up he's like yeah i actually go and i do talks about uh the first um wives yeah essentially so like he just talks about like the uh like the president's

wives like throughout history and stuff so we had like this nerdy conversation about it so i ended up being there an extra half hour because i was talking to him about it yeah I was at Bethesda. Yeah, yeah. It was just funny. I just like tatted up dude. He's like, yeah, it's really interesting. I'm like, I know, right? But that place was so cool. It was very nice. Like they have like not huge people play, but like Lisa Loeb and there's like a green room.

Who's Lisa Loeb? She had the song. It's called Stay. It's called Stay. It's like you say, I only hear what I want to. You would know it. Maybe. I don't know.

It looks like a real nice place. It was so nice. But yeah, like the green room, they had candy bars out. They had like granola bars, water, chips and salsa. And then it's a weird move where they give you money to get food there or beer. Yeah. So, like, here's $25 cash. It's like, why not just give me, like, a waiver?

I don't know. It's weird to be like, here's $25 to spend on food versus, like, a voucher for it. So, like, I could have kept the $25 if I didn't want to get food. I probably would have. I'm so cheap. I would have done that. Really? i didn't want to get food i would i probably would have i'm so cheap i would have done that really i didn't care but they paid for parking too there's a parking garage that that was free so you get a little thing there um do that yeah i just got a couple beers and i was like whatever i'm just gonna get beer anyway so like just use it with that money people were so nice and like uh yeah speaking of uh of black people the some of the servers like dudes came

up to me i was like dude that was tight i was like thank you thank you yeah that always yeah that's that's always really nice yeah and like thank you yeah because i feel like if you can make the staff laugh that's huge because usually they never pay attention right yeah then they were they're like yeah we have comedy here and it is like you were just saying they're like it is inconsistent like some people it was funny it was like you were just saying, they're like, it is inconsistent. Like some people, it's funny. It's like our point man was like kind of like this like jovial, kind of like nerdy, younger white dude. He's like, yeah, sometimes they just, they cuss a lot up there.

Like just picturing somebody bombing. Like, what are you guys fucking? How about this? What does you guys fuck? That's an interesting thing I was thinking about yesterday is like sometimes I see these shows and people just do not curate them well. Right. So with the audience last night, like you're doing a show for Baltimore City. It has to be.

Who do they want to see? It has to be like a show where it's mostly people of color. And then it has to be people who, it's a corporate thing. People are paying $40. Like it has to be people who are like, just gonna annihilate, you know,

no one on that show can be considered an okay comic. Right. It has to be just killer, killer, killer. Yeah. And then like, cause I've seen lineups.

I'm like, this person just does open mics. Why are they on this show? And it's like, Oh, they're friends. And then, like, because I've seen lineups. I'm like, this person just does open mics. Why are they on this show? And it's like, oh, they're friends with the booker. Totally. But that's such a stupid move. And I see it with other shows. Like, there's a show here that they do this thing where everyone does a 20-minute set.

And the guy asked me for advice. And I was like, here's my advice, dude. If you want to do a show, and you want to do – you have to change the format of the show if you want it to be successful. Because what you're – I was like, I can't even name five people in Baltimore. I can name maybe five people in Baltimore. That could do a good 20. That could do a good 20 minutes. Yeah. And most other people can do a good five, seven, maybe 10 minutes.

And he's like, oh, I don't know. I disagree. And i disagree and i was like okay well then your show is not gonna be good because yeah you're booking people who can't do a consistent 20 yeah but that's a tough thing is when your friends are doing comedy that it's like because you want to you want to like give them a chance and you don't want to be negative you want to like give them big ups but it's like you got to realistically say all right should this person be doing 20 minutes that's because then if you have those back to back it's like okay somebody that shouldn't be doing 20 is now being followed by somebody else that shouldn't be doing 20 you the way i would look at it it's like dude think about this like you're it's it's it's your show so like if you

were having a wedding yeah would you book a dj that doesn't know what he or she is really doing you know right just because you know a person who's would you book a photographer yeah just because they're your friend no you want to book people who are good at what they do because you want your guests to have a good time and you want to have a good time and uh you should look at your show that way and i was like why not just book a show in a way where two people do 20 minute sets and the others do five or ten yeah and that way you can still book your friends and then get killers on the show and pay them yeah more just break it up yeah yeah yeah but i mean again you shouldn't even have to it's like you shouldn't have to create an analogy for

that you know like like it's just like, I don't know, man. My wedding DJ is just like, they're not doing good. Think about a wedding like a comedy show. You want to book funny people. His thing was just like, yeah, like, people come, but they don't come back. And it's like, yeah, because that means they didn't have a good time. Yes. And also, you have to remind people to come back. You got to get their emails, collect them, send them an email reminder.

No one gives a shit about anything, you yeah yeah i need to do that with speechless speechless is tough though because it's like by nature an inconsistent show yeah because it's an improv yeah so it's like ah but yeah we have some uh we have some good amount of people coming up but yeah i need to do that email thing yeah you should you should well even the draft house yeah you should get them they won't give it to draft house. Yeah. You should get them. They won't give it to me. You asked. Yeah.

Why not? I don't know. It's weird. It's like, I guess, some type of like breach of trust or something. I don't know. I have no idea. But I'm like. But they do it.

They take all those emails. Right. Right. But then to give them to me. That makes sense. Right. But can they just create an account for Speechless? That's what i would like

is that people have bought tickets online but they're doing all their stuff too but i also kind of feel the way i'm just like well you're a comedy club you should be doing the promoting like you know what i mean like i'll do my part but you this is your business yeah you know like the shows that you're doing like it's not a comedy club club or like the one that Ian's doing is like it's at a bookstore, you know? So it's like you got to like that's not what that place is made for. Right. This is a comedy club. Yeah.

So you bring the people. And then it's tough to be like, we're a PowerPoint show. And, you know, I didn't make the show. They just license the show. And they're like, do you want to host? And it's like, sure. And I ended up working with two guys that are one not alive and then one not in the country anymore so it's you know it's uh it's a lot of work for one for one guy you're a bad luck charm dude i don't know i don't

know i mean i blame the show but uh oh yeah yeah maybe it's miller goes is it you and just tim uh and pete bergen and those guys do help out a lot and we have like the same judges now like i love having steven chen be a part of the show and stuff oh she was great yeah so yeah this should be it should be a good one should be a good one yeah speaking of that's coming up so that is gonna be what is that that is the to be, what is that? That is the 23rd. That'll be in D.C. Doing Speechless at the D.C. Draft House. So look at me promoting, huh?

And then on Tuesday, the 14th, we're both doing the thing at the loft, right? The Pass the Mic thing. TJ Show. We are? That's what he said when he booked me. Oh, fuck. We are. That's on Tuesdayuesday god damn it all

right i just don't feel like driving who knows so you know what happened last time because he just started the show last week what happened he canceled it because nobody came but it was funny because he booked like you mean nobody came nobody in the audience there was no one in the audience so he canceled it and so there were like 20 comics that were on the show because it's an open mic essentially right what time did he cancel it uh like 8 15 8 30 i so i wasn't i was there to do the mic upstairs oh shit and i think jack was pretty cool about getting those people on like the the people that couldn't do the show downstairs but still so yeah so i'm hoping we don't drive all the way down there on tuesday fuck are you gonna drive from work yeah i have to god damn it and there's are there other shows that night uh there's jack's room upstairs so if it

doesn't happen we can probably get on that and the weather is supposed to be shitty on tuesday so maybe people will come um but yeah it's just so many comics are like oh canceled okay i've canceled on that mic before so i can't cancel again yeah uh oh sorry no i was just gonna say that saturday i will be uh with my band tremendous athlete on the 18th at uh the aforementioned joe squared tight so come on out to that at uh 8 p.m i think tickets are like 10 bucks i think so but yeah come out where is it joe squared yeah what time i think eight saturday fuck uh all right 14th i'm i guess i'm at the comedy law for just gonna earn uh the 18th i'm doing two shows dc

improv lounge i'm hosting baby uh i think it's 7 30 and 9 or something i don't know come to that go to the website yeah probably like 7 30 and 9 30 is next weekend memorial day weekend weekend after maybe because i think it's the 27th no i think it's the 24th 25th is it yeah so the 27th is memorial day so more to a weekend is the one before right no so you're saying next monday so next monday is the 20th sorry i meant the yeah next not this coming up weekend the weekend after next next weekend uh the 23rd 24th 24 25th yeah yes the 27th is memorial day yeah so the 24th and 25th i'm hosting at the dc comedy loft cellar uh early late shows 24 25th for my buddy liz mealy get it girl get it girl and ah fuck there's some other may date that i'm blanking on. But June 6th, The Gin and Jokes with Eric DeDorian.

Love that. Yeah, he was great last night. I love seeing that guy. Dude, I have to keep a calendar because I have so many more shows that I can't even remember. Yeah, I've got a bunch coming up in June. Cool. What I'm excited about. So, yeah.

All right, dogs. Thanks for listening. Yeah, check out the uh my instagram page at josh kaderna for the sketch that i do with my buddy paul which i'm a big into and uh yeah at josh kaderna on twitter follow the podcast on facebook all the other social media shit that doesn't really matter but it does kind of know, helps fill an unfillable hole a little bit here and there. So, yeah, check us out on there, and we'll talk to you guys next week. Next Monday, David Koechner.

Take us out. Cool. Digression Sessions, coming to an end. Thank you.