The Digression Sessions - Ep. 290 - Josh & Umar!

Episode Date: June 6, 2019

Hola Digheads, on this week's episode, Josh and Umar have themselves a little one on one in the nude. Follow the podcast and Josh Kuderna, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Laughable, Stitcher, & Spotify plz!

page network. Talking gators here. Welcome back to gator talk. Hey everybody, welcome to the digression sessions podcast. Josh Kaderna here. I'm Umar. And we are talking gators. Yes. Yeah, welcome to the podcast. I didn't post last week's episode.

Oh shit. Did we do one last week? Yeah, but I shit talked a band for a while and then I didn't feel like editing it that night or chopping that out. And then I was like, then the time just passed too far. Oh, I think I got in your head. But there's no reason for that to be out there. thing that out and then i was like then the time just passed oh i think i got in your head but you there's no reason for that well you were like hey if you're listening they should comment or somebody tag them and i was like no no i said i hope someone does because the last time we mentioned someone someone tagged them yeah and it didn't go well no it was bad that's why you're

like yeah somebody tagged i'm like no no i think i said i hope someone doesn't oh okay yeah i don't want to deal with that shit definitely not anyway i didn't say any bad words uh what happened was it was actually a computer error it wasn't my fault i wasn't talking shit about any bands um so yeah hey everybody welcome back to the cast uh umar is going down to nolens not apparently they hate when you say that. And apparently, so I was just at a wedding, and the bride and groom, they're all from there. And I was saying New Orleans. Apparently, you're not supposed to say that either. It's New Orleans.

Yeah, New Orleans. I never knew that. I've been saying New Orleans ever since real world New Orleans happened. Yeah, you just sound like a robot. Like, you know, when like your GPSps is like take 695 toson yeah new orleans ellicott city that's how you that's like how you know people aren't from here when they call it ellicott they're like but that's how it's spelled i'm like well that's you know you got a knock on the door they do have a knock i'll go let's pause all right well through the

magic uh it was nobody nobody just amazon's yeah so Amazons. Yeah. But it's spelled L-E-A-N-S. Yeah. Yeah. But no, it's cool. I like New Orleans. New Orleans a lot. New Orleans. Yeah.

It has definitely a weird vibe to it, but a fun vibe. I've heard it's not like there's no other place like it. Yeah. Because it's definitely still like all the houses and the roads i mean of course they're like modernized but still has like a very french yeah exactly like turn of the century you could see when like like colonial times essentially like a port city kind of vibe interesting and then mixed it with all like the witchcraft and weird stuff down there. Dude, what are Cajun people? Cajun people?

Cajun. Is it Cajun? Cajun. All right. Cajun is something different. Like, what are these Caucasian people? What are they up to? You know what?

It's funny because in my schools, a lot of people think, a lot of african-americans think uh saying white is um bad so they'll like refer to white people as caucasian oh it's so we i've never heard somewhat like uh yeah i've never like i've never in my life used caucasian i think i figured it out when filling out like uh test like standardized tests in middle school or whatever where you have to put like what race you are yeah it's like i don't see white i don't know i guess caucasian you know what i mean like i don't know and then it's so weird too because you're like you can trace the words back you know but it's like where is caucasia and then it like comes from like caucasoid or something what is that i'm not sure. But I think that's like a race thing as well. Yeah.

So it's just so funny. Like, hey, no. Say Caucasian. I'm like, no one gives a shit. Yeah. I would feel like somebody was mocking me. They were like, can you help this Caucasian gentleman? Whoa.

Oh, jeez. I think now if white people do something white, they call it caucastic. Have you heard that? No. Okay. Anyway. Hey, I'm just, listen. i'm just a heteronormative cis male i don't a white guy in america i don't know nothing about nothing listen you can't please

don't share opinions yeah you can't stereotype but if you hate white people go off queen that's true if you hate straight white people straight white men go off against those jerks also now there's also like yeah if you're any kind of white male like uh it's like uh people say a lot all this a lot i was talking to a comic and i was like yeah you know i like like i think bill burr is the best comic right now and then her response was like yeah to me he's just like an old man screaming an old white man screaming yeah like you want to be a cop i get where she's coming from but it's like you want to be a comic and that's all you think of bill burr right you're gonna suck at this for a long time yeah yeah but in conversely if she was like ali wong's my favorite

comedian like i don't know it just seems like a pregnant asian asian lady complaining to me you know they'd be like whoa whoa you can't say, you can't say that. You can't say that. Wow. I don't have that opinion of Ali. I think she's great. No, of course. I'm just saying that's how weird it is that you can just be dismissive of people's comedy. Oh, the flip side. Yes. Yes, that's what I'm saying.

I get what you're saying. I'm not saying. It's like, well, yeah, no, I get it because Ali Wong is an annoying Asian lady. Well, that was a very straight white man opinion. No. I'm just saying that's where it shows where you can just dismiss a whole group of people yeah but conversely if you do it to any other group of people like no you're not allowed to stereotype you can't do that like all voices

they matter you know except if you're an old white guy fuck you yeah it's a very um you had your time kind of thing right yeah i mean it just drives me nuts like and of course i don't really care but it's just funny like it doesn't bother me but it's just funny where they're like these people are like hey you can't generalize or you can't dismiss a whole group of people because of one thing or a stereotype right except if you're an old white guy fuck you and you're like what did i do yeah no and then they're just like yeah they're i don't know whatever what are you gonna do no yeah i don't want to anyway now i am just a white guy uh complaining on a podcast about these pc jerks yeah we should have booked milo oh yeah uh yeah he's gonna come next week it's like the baltimore version of a milo

yapanopolis whatever his name is yananopolis yananopos uh let's see do we have any uh gay republicans in in the city there's got to be some right then hang out in like harbor east republican yeah yeah probably i think that's why he was getting so much shine because he was a young white dude that was gay and and republican so like republican money was like oh get this guy out there to be like yeah we're young and hip too and he's trying to be like i guess he's trying to be like an ann coulter figure like that kind of figure exactly yeah spews bullshit yes but then it's like god this guy's so hateful and it's like oh well you're on the left you don't like him uh he's gay what do you think of that i also like that people compare and i get he's annoying i get michael mo's annoying, but you can just not compare the counter to Ann Coulter.

He's like, well, Michael Moore's a piece of shit. Right, right, right, right. Yeah, dude. He's just trying to look out for people who don't have a voice. What is Ann Coulter doing? Ann Coulter's literally texting 1786, the night of the election. Yeah. Who can't? She's not a not a nice boy we had slavery yeah

you know and michael moore's like my dad lost his job my dad lost his factory job down there um yeah no they'll they'll do that too where it's like all right well you know fox news has sean hannity yeah msnbc has uh rachel mad. It's like, I don't even think they're close. Like, Sean Hannity's like, there is a deep state conspiracy to take down Donald Trump. And I don't want to say it's the Jews, but, you know, you're like, whoa. And Rachel Maddow's like, I'm a lesbian, and I think we should all be nice to each other. And she's like, here's some facts, you know, like, here's some easily, like, researchable things things but the other side it's like i don't know is it a conspiracy yeah probably dude i would love like it's so crazy like even now when i'm like writing jokes like everything in my mind is so

politicized i want to like it's just have you gone a day since the election where you don't think about like trump you don't think about this you don't think about Trump, you don't think about this, you don't think about that. It's so tough. It's really annoying. For a while, too, I would just check Twitter in the morning and be like, all right, what did he do now? That kind of thing.

Or if you got a notification on your phone that's like, Trump passes Muslim ban or signs Muslim ban, and you're like, ah. That's why I turned off all notifications from Twitter. Can you just fucking have one day where you chill you know he's like now now we're kicking out uh trans people from the military it's like why i know just so many unforced errors i just want like now i'm just gonna write jokes about how men and women are different because honestly what did you just

say well i'm just excuse me i'm not saying one's better. They're just different. No, no, no. I love it. Go off, King. Like, all this stuff that's hack, that was considered hack, like men, women, black, white, like all... Like, just do that. Because... Yeah. It's just so annoying to... It's honestly just easily relatable stuff, too. Like...

Yeah. That's... I mean, but yes, there's... I think it's like Louis said, or I'm sure a bunch of people said it, but it's like there are no... Hey, he's an old white guy. We don't need to... Yeah, fuck him.

Yeah, I believe it was Louis said like, no means yes. No. No, he was just saying there's no hack premises. Just like... Burr. Okay, was that him? Yeah.

But I think they've all kind of said something similar. Louis said that. You can talk about whatever you want. It's just like, yeah like yeah you can make it funny it's like just because you're talking about airports doesn't mean you're a fucking it's just a delivery right right it's just the joke but i will say open up for a comedian recently and uh like 25 minutes of his act was airport stuff and you're like oh you don't have a life outside of comedy yeah that's i think that's what people respond to right right he's like you ever be at the chilis too and you're just waiting on your uh you're at the chilis in your hotel that the club provides you damn you show up to

that marriott you're like again this guy knows i'm talking again only comics care normal people they love it yeah because they can relate to it and again it's like yeah and if they can't they can't but yeah you can talk about anything and make it relatable in a way like it doesn't mean it's just because it's like oh the wife has given me guff or raising kids is difficult and i read a headline i didn't read the article but my headline yeah some statistic oh no it was on npr i was listening today they said that uh never before in like a uh or like this is like the the first time in like american um history or whatever just like our like where people's political views and beliefs really shape how they identify you know like their identity i would disagree with that yeah i mean are you kidding

me like when we're going through the revolution do you think somebody wasn't like hell yeah i'm for independence maybe like the last like 30 40 years okay and they're sure there was a lot of division with like clinton and reagan and but like yeah it just seems but maybe we're just aware of it now more because it's social media that shit has got to go oh yeah yeah well you there's just no policing that either yeah social media has never made me like someone more and has only ever made me like someone less interesting i've never made me likes it like if i find a comic or something and i find like their instagram and something like kyle dunnigan or somebody like that i'm like oh this is great oh i met people in our like everyday data like you just like you're like oh that's what you think oh yeah yeah i mean yeah i guess if you're casting a

wide net and a lot of people are getting in there's more disappointment there yeah but rarely am i like sending a request or following somebody that i haven't like talked to a good bit you know no for sure and that's not the whole person but it's just like uh you're always like like you know the no but i yeah i know i agree that that stuff like just kind of drives me nuts when they're like america has never been so divided it's like yeah no we had a civil war yeah like hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people died like yeah we were pretty divided yeah that's true but what we have now is like the the rocket fuel of you can just find stuff that you identify with that you don't ever have to challenge like yeah so you have a fox news and

then you have a facebook where you're friends with all your shithead friends and they share fake articles that you don't know are fake or like doctored videos of being like oh look at how drunk pel Pelosi is here. And it's really just like a slowed down video of her speaking. Yeah, I didn't see that. But yeah, they like showed a side by side. They just slowed it down. It's like if you ever listen to a podcast on half speed, they just sound drunk.

So I told him to say, you know, so they're like and Trump shared it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. to say you know and so they're like and trump shared it right yeah yeah but even then if trump doesn't share like i'm sure all the stuff that pops up in your facebook feed of just like yeah 1776 and you know all that shit yeah it's just like today even like like uh he called uh like the mayor of oh mayor pete budaj no no. He called the mayor of London. Do they have mayors? Something Khan? Yeah.

Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. Because he's Muslim, right? Yeah. He called him an idiot or something. Omar's like, let me look at my notes here. He called him a sand and... Am I getting this right? I mean, Evan, during breakfast, we're just like well that's that's our

president just yeah name calling people that's what sucks too world leaders there's so much of an erosion there too like of just like you just get used to it day to day like oh yeah the president is just like a petty fucking old idiot yeah like an old white guy him when he went to japan or something there's a big like like, naval procession. And so they had a carrier ship that was named after John McCain. Right. And he was like, make sure I can't see it. And they had to, like, cover up the name of John McCain.

It's like, dude, you are such a bitch. For as much as, like, the rights, like, oh, you don't like that language, you triggered snowflake. Yeah. You guys are the biggest group of pussies when it comes to stuff. It uh almond milk get the fuck out of here i don't think so yeah also the whole like uh the tough generation like the toughest generation it's like uh i was talking about this with my buddy chris and it's so like the tough generation they're the same people who cried when a little black girl went to their white kid's school. Oh, right.

You know? It's just some bullshit PR branding that dumb people jump on. Oh, of course. There is no such thing as a tough shit. No one likes being made fun of. Yeah. Well, I mean, if you're the generation that killed Nazis, you get a little more respect. But yeah, it shouldn't be a blanket statement. Any generation would have done it.

Anyone would have done it. Hot take. I do. I stand by that statement. You'd go to war? You'd think, oh, fuck no. I'd be a little bitch. Okay.

I'm sure there'd be somebody. Yeah, some of them. I mean, come on. I have a degree. Right, right, right, right. I have a degree. I'm educated. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, me too. I would go and do stand-up for the boys you know i'd have a golf club and i'd be like ah we really hate that hitler don't we yeah no you're right like but it's just like frustrating because there's so many things that you can point at that that generation has done that's just terrible oh sure like the environment and everything else yeah absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And you're like, I don't know. What are you going to do? Yeah. Listen, listen. Every generation has their shit.

Like nobody's perfect. Yeah, we all suck. It's fine. We all have good things. It's just so funny that like a generation that cares about the environment, it's like we're pussies now. Yeah. That always got me too.

I'm like, regardless of what you are are you like hey it's nice that this drinking water is good i like it breathing the air they're like oh i bet you do you homo you lefty bleeding heart pussy it's like don't you like breathing good air and having clean water yeah i've been thinking about uh global warming and then like uh water shortages oh yeah it's just how fake it is no um it's really i think it's really scary my thing is bro how you gonna warm a flat earth you know what i'm saying you know what i mean well i don't know like a panini bro right right plus once you get the dome involved that keeps it warm you know wait they're saying because if the earth is flat the sun can't warm it no no i was just making oh but there are some people that think that the earth has a giant dome

over it as well like a giant glass structure over the flat that's someone built of course because why wouldn't they shit why wouldn't they that's which also blows them and like speaking of people just in their like little bubbles and they, what do they call those? Their echo chambers. You're just sharing flat earth videos all the time. You're like, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

That's what it is. But, like, if there was a flat earth, so many people, the entire world, every single, like, government would have to be like, we're all in on this lie. Right. every single like government would have to be like we're all in on this lie right and it would have to start with the greek the greek people like yeah bc yes errol stottle's like you know what yeah yeah we yeah i'm gonna invent the telescope galileo i think galileo yeah galileo's like i'm gonna invent yeah i think he was the first to use it at night or something i think he might have invented he also was he the one who dropped shit off of the leaning tower to show that like grat like gravity uh works the same on all objects

this is how you know we're dumb oh yeah yeah this is yeah dude i watched a documentary last night with evan about um about 3d printing and all the stuff you can do. Yeah. And it's like... Just print a gun. Dude, not even a gun. They're printing human skin. Cool.

They can recreate a whole ear. It's just... They can make it. They don't take a graph. They're making skin. It's unreal. How do you even think that works can you even begin to imagine no because that's no way we're so dumb that's what always got me about when they're like yeah

you can print a gun i'm like out of what i don't get like i yeah this is gonna be us this is gonna be when we're old and we don't get it just like you know our parents are like what is a router we're like you fucking yeah but I don't know how it works. That's what I'm saying. So I'm like, back in my day, a printer had ink. I don't know if I'm just like, well, the 3D printer's out of human skin. I don't know. What do you put in there to make the ear?

I don't know. Dude, the stuff. I don't even know how, like, cell phones work or anything. Yeah. It's like, if everyone died and we were, like, the last, like, there was, like, a handful of your friends. This is how that ICP song got started, by the way. Which I don't get why people made fun of them. Honestly, dude, can you explain right now how magnets work? Yeah, but we're out of time. It's been a great podcast.

We're 19 minutes in. Sorry, we're up against it. They made a song called Miracles and uh one of the lines was like magnets how do they work because they were just talking about all these things on the earth that are crazy right right and then eminem made fun of them in uh one of his songs they got a lot of beef but uh yeah they messed up where they made a diss track about eminem it's like they called him uh instead of slim shady they called him slim anus right his response he was like he was like slim anus damn right i don't get fucked in mind like you do i mean why would you do that like yeah he has a small asshole it's like yeah okay that's funny it's funny how

like uh beef tracks can kill careers oh yeah that's weird i don't get that they've kind of come back though like drake got got but he came back from it and uh meek mill came back from it from drake attacking him but yeah is that the one where they had to stop because they got too they were about to drop like a crazy bomb that was drake and push a t and according to drake he didn't put one out because it would have been like too brutal that's such a cop out that's what he says he says that somebody oh god who was it was um god what's the guy's name it is something with a j but basically he played it for like one of the older heads and the guy was like man you can't do that really because he went after kanye too because

kanye produced the pusha t yeah so who was the one who had the son uh drake wow was that real yeah holy so he had a son that he didn't want people to know about but was he taking care of him uh i would assume so i mean is he present in his life i don't know i mean i guess he's sending her money could you imagine knowing that your dad is drake but he doesn't want to hang out with you that would crush you yeah but i think he's so young now like i don't think he understands like my dad's a mega so i think a kid's like two or three i mean yeah he's not around now yeah yeah if he's not around when you're the cutest right he's gonna come back and his kids gonna be like like 10 he's like what the fuck is this 10 year olds are disgusting he's just driving around like a power wheels made of gold fuck that guy she's whack hate him mom give me

some nuggets speaking of kind age you watch the uh the interview with him on the letterman show oh i didn't is that out it's very good interesting it made me like kanye a lot he's uh i guess when he's medicated he's uh very intelligent yeah i mean that's what people always said that he was like a musical genius and like i assume there had to be some uh intelligence there yeah but yeah he's just like wild bipolar and when he gets yeah when he gets manic and just says crazy shit he did say some stuff also because he still sticks by his trump stuff sure he sticks but and then he was talking about he said something about me too that made no sense and it was like oof dude you're gonna die you're gonna die on that you've been sounding so elegant and so smart and then once me too came up i think i knew what he

was she was trying to say something like you know you have all you talk about all these powerful men and they did all this bad stuff but it's like um oh man uh like oh like but it's like you know they got like now all these powerful men they have to worry about their careers. David Letterman's like, yeah. I think the counter to that is that women's fear is unmatched. The fear that women have of just existing in this world is nothing compared to the fear that men wronged. Which is also funny coming from David Letterman. Yeah. Because he probably sexually harasses shit out of people. Oh, he publicly did. that men right wrong which is also funny coming from david letterman yeah because he like probably

sexually harasses shit out of people oh he publicly did like you didn't know about that i knew about his cheating yeah but with an intern yeah and somebody was gonna blackmail him and he had to like come out and be like all right fuck it i'll just admit it wow good time yeah he did it in his monologue too i think i wonder if i could do that i definitely couldn't fight nazis but uh-huh i will fight the me too i will fight the me too movement would i go to the western front i don't know but i will take on these me too bitches yeah trying to ruin a rich man's right yeah well at least like david letterman could say something like that like it seems like he's evolved yeah oh and also like i don't know man fucking your intern is gross but she was into it

yeah what are you gonna do internet it's where it's a bummer for his wife i guess i got divorced actually i don't know like i think i know he has a kid yeah i think they stayed together and then they had a kid when he was in his late 50s or early 60s. God, that's got to suck. Is his wife young? I don't know how old she is. Dude, do you think about having kids? Yeah, it scares me.

And I think if I do, I think I would adopt. Yeah. I think I would like... I think that's what I would like to do but uh it's uh i don't know it's a lot of work to adopt and it's expensive as fuck right yeah but i think i would go domestic i don't know if i want an international baby even domestic i think it's like 15 to 20 grand come on they don't have it like a a local uh break or something you know yeah i don't know it's just like hey man i just want to get the bud light i don't need a craft beer you know cut me a deal on that little baby but

it's like you don't want to like because i mean we're not old but for men it's different i'll be 33 this but you also don't want to be like an old dad no right no like how old were your like my parents were like i think mid 30s when they had oh it blows my mind uh my mom was 26 when she had me yeah but back then normal yeah no no totally normal i mean people still do it now but i can't imagine having a six-year-old at this point no you know what i mean shit what were you doing at 26 yeah yeah nothing nothing yeah i think i was yeah i was at uh social security maybe just starting to do comedy yeah but yeah i wouldn't be able to like i would feel like such an asshole if i was

like man i just had a baby all right well i love you i'll be home in a couple hours daddy's gonna try comedy for the first time yeah yeah oh how am i doing uh interesting uh yeah uh job's going good just had a baby but more importantly i just started an improv class like what oh man i yeah i i think about like i just don't get how like people who like you know i make a very modest middle class income but i couldn't imagine people over here having a like i like you just kept going and like yeah i drive a car i mean it's not great good gas mileage you know it's funny like i try to tell my kids all the time because they don't have people in their lives who who like use education to like you know improve their lives to better their lives so i always try to use like the teachers and like me and other people like

adults because they're like the only sometimes the only adults that they'll encounter right so you can say like this is possible so right yeah i tried to do that today with a kid and i was like yeah like dude look look like for i was like i've never been in a fight in my life and he like didn't believe me i was like i've never been suspended um and like you know i don't lie to them and you're never suspended i've never been i've never been suspended damn yeah and he was like man you he was like you are lying and i was like no dude and i was like look and i went to college and i have a good life i make decent money like i make decent to good money and he was like he was like if you make good money why you drive a honda and i was like oh my god

teacher the next room's like yeah he's like and then he was like making fun of my shoes and shit it was so funny yeah god that sucks it's like such a uh tough spot because you're like look man you can do it i mean look at me i'm doing pretty great it's like i don't want your life but on the surface yeah on the surface i'm like you suck on the surface i'm like i'm like, on the surface, I'm like, I'm like, dude, it's a great car. But inside, I'm like, why do I drive a Honda? Damn. Yeah. I was like, yeah, maybe my life is. And then I'm like, yeah, I don't make as much money as I should for someone who went to

grad school for three fucking years. Yeah. It has to be verbally abused by children. He just passes you a joint. He's like, it's fucked up. Right. Damn, dog. Yeah.

I'm blowing my mind right now yeah no i'm yeah i'm very happy with like where i'm at but yeah i was talking to karen about you know paying for college and stuff she's like well i want if we have a kid i want him to go to like a four year like out of the gate and i was like that's so expensive like why and then like we got into it it's like man i'm already getting mad at this kid for taking money out of my pocket yeah my thing is is uh i think college is gonna be totally different in 20 years oh yeah we'll also see too with like the whole debt thing as well if that goes through erase it and like people are starting to look at college is not like an experience anymore i think i think it's just a means to an end yeah also i think

just more people should get involved in the trades too like not everybody has to go to college well i watched another documentary recently on um oh you watch trade suck dick too yeah volume one and uh it's called Rough Trades. And, you know, it's about, like, the automation and how many jobs are going to be lost. Oh, my God, yeah. So, I don't know. I think telling a kid to... Sorry, I'm losing my voice. I just ran and...

Well, no, you're choked up about automation. Yeah, it's... Fucking robots, man. It's crazy how many people are about to lose their jobs in the next 30, 40 years. I mean, trucking is going to be... That's the number their jobs in the next 34 years uh trucking is gonna be the number one it's gonna be completely different because they're all gonna be driverless uh trucks they were in a 18 wheeler truck that was weaving in and out of track traffic on a three to four lane highway yeah just effortlessly yeah pulled into a gas station when it needed to how insane is that

yeah it's nuts well yeah i mean we're gonna have self-driving cars gonna have all kinds of stuff dude they even had a lawyer uh so even like a lawyer like some lawyers jobs can be there's a lawyer robot not a robot but your, I do declare my witness. The glove. Your honor, the glove does not compute. But they created this computer program that can look over legal documents for errors. Not grammatical errors. Right.

For legal errors. Damn. So they created a fake NDAa a non-disclosure agreement and they had the computer do it and then they had a guy who does it for a living a lawyer go over it yeah they race the computer did it in 15 minutes it took him a little over an hour the computer did it with like 95 96 accuracy he did it with 85 and they were just like showing the guy who ran the computer program in the time that was running he could do other meetings do other work and it's just more of

like efficient i know it's but it's it's so weird that we keep going i think the same thing knowing why don't we just stop it why don't we stop but again everybody said that throughout time like as soon as they started putting up like telephone poles and then having like automobiles like horses are great i like the telegraph we don't need all this yeah so yeah it's like yes i shit in an outhouse behind my house it's fine plumbing i gotta pay for that yeah you know so it's it's weird to draw the line there but yeah i i think it's gonna be so different because i think with technology like when it evolved over the century it displaced jobs but it also created other jobs but once you start having automation yeah there's no other

place for them to go dude imagine i feel like if you live during the time where you went from outhouses to bathrooms. Oh, yeah. You're just like, wait, we're going to shit inside our home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like dog owners here about like cats. Like, whoa, your animal shits in the house. Yeah. Why?

The husband's like, I don't want to hear my wife shit. Are you crazy? What? God, what a bummer that must have been to wake up in the middle of the night and go out that's why people just yeah and like critters and shit too like snakes whatever like you run into out there in the middle of the night just to take a dump and you can't see it's not like you're like let me just turn on the lights outside like yeah we gotta stop man it's not it is crazy the shit that because we all know where it's going yeah and uh do you ever watch the

boston dynamics videos so those are the people that are making like um robots that can like walk around or like they have like the dog kind of thing yeah and it's like why what are those for why are we doing this like i don't i would be so scared to have a robot in my house mostly because of the film I, Robot. However. I've never seen it. It's good. Will Smith.

Is it actually a good movie? Yeah. I'd say it's like one of those solid movies where it's like a Sunday afternoon and you're on the couch. You're like, oh, that was pretty good. All right. Cool. I like a nice action flick. Yeah.

And Will Smith. He's a national treasure. Yeah. But I think that's why you can't encourage trade jobs anymore, really but well like an electrician i think yeah is good plumber probably but uh yeah i mean at least that's why i always think about like the the coal people and stuff it's like what are they gonna do it's like teach them how to make solar shit let's go like they can do other stuff but this like at a factory it's like i move the bottles it's like you can just have a robot do that or you can have a person or a robot drive the truck

like it's fucking scary dude they have uh like warehouses now they instead of uh they have moving shells so when an order comes you type in the computer and the shell moves to you just grab it out put it in the box and it's good to go think about like how many people will lose their fucking jobs just like that's a huge amount of jobs for people in baltimore right now is amazon factory yeah but they're the ones who are gonna have these like moving shelves in their warehouses yeah and i know i know you hate amazon i don't hate i use them sure but but i mean're evil. Yes, for their practices and how they treat workers, having to wear diapers. I have so many... It's like that Louis bit, like you have beliefs.

Yes. But what is it? You have beliefs... It's like, of course. Yeah. But... Yeah, you have all these beliefs, but it doesn't change the way you act. Yeah.

It's like, however... Yeah. Yeah, or it's like, of course, if your son has a peanut allergy, we shouldn't expose him to peanuts. But I think it's but maybe. It's like. Yeah. Yeah. Well, maybe he's supposed to die.

Fuck. Oh, yeah. What I read about one of the Amazon factories was to trick the workers into like working harder and not taking breaks. They instituted a like sort of like a video game thing so each time you ship out a package or like collect stuff to be shipped out you're like in a driving game so it's like oh all of a sudden now your car is in number one and so now they all compete to like load up all the boxes and like deliveries and shit yeah that was my our uh did something just

speak with that amazon lady what's her name oh alexa that was alexa we didn't even say alexa oh just because we're talking shit yeah she's like uh what bitch that was weird you talking shit on my man jeff bezos amazon no all right That's crazy. Amazon sucks. Yeah. Jeff Bezos is fucking. Yeah. There were stories of Alexis that were fucking up that Alexis would just laugh, like not even talking about it.

Like two people be in their house, like telling a story. And then they would hear the Alexa be like, no way. Terrifying people. I don't know if this is true, but i can't remember who told me this but a girl told me that her friend has a job where it is to listen in on what people say for targeted advertising oh yeah i'm sure is that real yeah i bet well and uh i would never put i mean that's my roommates i would never i would not have an alexa in my i don't trust i don't like it yeah karen's parents gave us one i'm like i we don't need to use it because i feel weird about having

a listening device too even though our phones are listening all the time i know but like we never use her yeah and if we do it's only for music right and that i don't mind with my phone just going bluetooth to a speaker yeah for me it's almost harder to be like alexa play blink 180 you know what i mean like did she hear that oh yeah i thought i was gonna start playing like i was so pumped but yeah for me it's like i have to enunciate every little thing like i'll just type it in my phone yeah it's man it's scary it's gonna be weird it's gonna be very weird and then i think about do i want to bring a kid into a world where they're gonna have to deal with global warming water shortages

automation shortages shortages it's crazy yeah that's what scares me too is i try not to get into uh that like weird doomsday mind but i always feel like it wouldn't take much for it to really go south pretty quick well dude like this that's so funny because last night me evan and karen were sitting on the couch and we were talking because we were watching these documentaries and and we were just talking about like doomsday stuff and yeah and uh evan has like a plan i mean he has a he has a go bag he has a bag and everything. He knows how to... Because that's what sparked it.

I was like, dude, we're so dumb. Like if there was like a doomsday situation, we wouldn't survive it. Yeah. And honestly, it would be the blue collar people and like homeless people. They're like, I do this every day, motherfucker. Oh, sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, we're the ones who shop at like... Guess who's not crazy now we're shopping at mom's organic market we're like yeah eat cheetos all day what the fuck is this it's a homeless guy eating a pigeon he's like i guess i'm the mayor now yeah yeah i'm the king all the blue collar people like they would all they'd be way better because i wouldn't be able to make a compound oh you know what i mean make fires yeah no no i wouldn't be able to make a compound oh you know what i mean make fires yeah no i wouldn't be able to hunt anything no uh everyone was like i would get as far that's the

thing dude how how would you do that though baltimore in any city we yeah you're so fucked being in any city because there's only like a few ways out really right and then and then say you do get on the highway everybody else is on the highway too then what i think you gotta be on foot yeah and then where do you go i don't know he was like i would go like south in very rural middle of nowhere and i was like i don't know if you would make it dude yeah have you ever read or seen the movie uh read the book or seen the movie the road no wow is it depressing it's the same dude that wrote uh cormac mccarthy he wrote um uh no country for old men okay so it's like kind of that very like realistic slow burn kind of thing but the whole story is just you don't know how the apocalypse happened but it happened like basically everything is just

kind of like ash and it's a father and a son and they're basically i think sort of like on a interstate or like highway and they're just walking on that and like running into people and it's just like a very realistic view of what it would be like it would be so fucking hard yeah because then people are eating people too yeah coming by food is really hard like i don't even know if I would just kill myself. I don't. Yeah. Like, life right now is great.

And I struggle to be happy. Could you imagine? That would be a great sketch, actually. Like, you think the world is going to end. Like, a meteorite's going to hit it. It's like, man, I don't like it. Great people are like, you know what? Fuck.

I can't. I'm not doing it, man. This blows his head off. And then the meteor just moves. Like, oh, we're fine. You know't. I'm not doing it, man. This blows his head off. And then the meteor just moves like, oh, we're fine. You know what? It was no big deal, actually. Yeah, I would give up.

I don't need to live through that. Fuck that. Yeah, because then people talk about that, too. They're like, well, I'd have a gun. It's like, yeah, so would the bad guys, you know? And do you think the government, do you think they're just not going to use? That's the thing. Bill Burr said he wanted to learn to fly a helicopter for that reason it's like you don't think it would

just get immediately shot down yeah well also that plan doesn't really work either because he rents helicopters so be like all right honey it's going down everybody get the car let's drive 40 minutes to the place and then we have to find keys yeah like unless you have a helicopter on top of your already built compound you're fucked but here's why my roommate evan loves the idea of dunes that he kind of like uh welcomes it because he's like dude sure a lot of all i want to worry about is survival he was like that sounds because think he's like think about every fucking thing you stress about. I know. You stress about a million things like work, relationship, bills. A bunch of stuff that's not real either. And that's the thing.

Like bills, like God, when am I going to have a family? I got to buy a house. I got to like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't make enough money. I need to make more money. I honestly think that's why a lot of people are depressed. Why? Just because their brains are being used for stuff that they shouldn't be used for.

Yeah. We're involved to deal with the stuff that we stress about like where you're like same thing with like social media or whatever it's like oh i'm feeling pretty good and then you look at this you're like oh this person's cooler than me dude it happened to me today i can't keep up with you know what i mean yeah like our buddy chris he's he's in new york and dude the i won't say it on here because who knows if it will or won't happen. But, like, he's telling me, like, all this stuff that, like, he's got lined up and, like, people that are helping him. I'm like, damn. And I didn't perform once last week. And I immediately felt like a piece of shit.

Let me tell you, that's the reason you didn't get anything. That's true. They were like, you know what? It's either you, Chris, or he didn't perform at all last week. You know what? I'm not working hard enough. But it's a lot of other stuff. But, you know.? It's either you, Chris, or he didn't perform at all last week. No, but I'm just like, I'm not working hard enough. But it's a lot of other stuff. But, you know. Sure, sure, sure.

And then, like, I was telling you, I was like, I have to go to Sidebar. It's canceled. What other mics are there? I don't even think DC has them. See, this is what I'm worrying about. If I was worrying about. There is one in DC, the Shuffle. I'm not driving.

Yeah. It's too late for us anyway. It's 7 o'clock. Yeah, also, who cares? I know. I really take it. I don't i know i've really taken i don't know with stand-up i definitely want to work harder but it's also like and then what you know what i mean like no i heard um yeah and we we also talked about um caring too much and

then like not caring enough and trying to find that balance with show i'm treating the show just like i don't give a fuck like yeah i did antietam brewery in hagerstown how was it it was so fun it looked great but it was because i didn't give a fuck yeah that's how it goes yeah and then it's like oh yeah i need to like have more of that in comedy and also i was thinking about that with anxiety too it's like i really hate having anxiety i'm like also why do i have anxiety like it sounds lame but i was like i'm pretty cool like i shouldn't be stressed about yeah like social situations are like oh what does this person think and it's like who gets it yeah that's all my anxiety is like oh god what is this person thinking oh god i hope they're not like dude like

yesterday and that's such wasted energy so weird like i'm such a people pleaser. Karen and I went out. I went to go see Karen perform in this improv show, which was so crazy. You just jump on stage. You're like, yes, and honey, I'm here for you. They do this show where they have, it's like half students, half like troops. Troop members and stuff. Dude. Yeah. That guy, Terry.

Uh-huh. Holy shit. Oh, he's the man. He like terry withers yeah yeah like watching him do improv is like he is like he makes it look easy because he's that good yeah like and he you can tell he's like kind of like he's been doing it forever so he's just breaking all the rules to make it fun for him yep and it's so good it was like unreal how funny and casual he is yeah but uh and uh and and if he's in the scene it will never not be good yeah you know he could say and that's the whole point of the show it's like look

just get used to being out there yeah you don't have to worry about anything this is for you to take a risk yeah i would And they'll save you. Even if he's not cognizant of it or like even if he is, he would never say it. But when you're doing something like that, it's kind of like when you're doing stand up on a showcase show where your ego is like, oh, I'm better than everybody here. We should fucking get him on this podcast. Oh, yeah, definitely. I've tried to have him on before.

Dude, he's so funny. Anyway, so. But I'm just saying like I bet when he's operating with Dude, he's so funny. Anyway, so... Oh, but I'm just saying, like, I bet when he's operating with them, it's kind of like it makes you better because you know what not to do as well. Yeah. Like, that's what I'm saying.

Like, when you do a showcase show, you're like, oh, fuck, who cares? Yeah. And then you have a great set, but it's because you're like, oh, I see what you're struggling with, and then you can, like, see through the matrix, essentially.

Yeah, so then the whole time I'm watching this show uh i realize like i'm not laughing because one i'm like really worried about karen i'm like god i hope she's feeling okay and then two i'm just like why are some people that good at a thing you know and i think and i'm like god like i don't know if i have it in me i think like you there's a ceiling that people reach yeah you hit it yeah and that's where you are and like your jokes like then you want you know like um a booker was saying like i kind of tried to take a step back not be so involved because i heard like my presence makes people nervous and then i kind of came back and everything's the same he's like everyone is where they were before it just all stays the same because he was like hey let me see if some people i know i know you're talking about yeah and it's

just like yeah i don't it's just like why am i not like you know like sometimes like you just you have a good saying you see people and it's just like whoa that's like yes something i don't know how to tap into right i. So then I'm worrying about all that bullshit. So then we're in the lobby and we're talking. And like me and Karen, we're going to go get food. You're like, Karen, you were good, but not as good as Terry. Terry, you're the man. Yeah.

No, so Karen and I were going to get food. And this is my anxiety and people pleasing jumping in again. So, so far this whole night. Also, it was a packed show and just super fun right and uh i'm like half enjoying it uh-huh and then this we're in the lobby and karen and i already made dinner plans we're gonna go to la cutara their happy hours tight everyone please go it's the best thing baltimore one of the best happy hours in baltimore yeah very good it's such good food too you get so much food we spent 30 bucks last night even

the bread there is incredible insane pumpernickel bread fucking butter the salt on all right anyway uh so then uh me karen this girl that's in her indie troop is standing there and this guy who i've ran into a bunch he knows me i cannot put a name on him oh yeah and uh so we're all standing in the circle talking and i'm like starving you know that's a story i can relate yeah and then so karen and i oh so i'm like karen like do you guys like what do you guys want to get some food you guys want to come out and um so i knew she was wanted to like invite her friend Megan, but I thought just because I didn't want this dude that also we're talking to. Oh, no.

I don't want him to feel left out. And I don't even know him that well. Why do I give a shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm freaking out. So this is the thing in my head. We know where we want to go. Right.

So now we have to pretend like we're asking them where they want to go and hope to lead them to where we want to go oh boy so it's like yeah i mean there's pen and quilt you know what's really good is laku char you guys tried laku char yeah and they didn't bite so we ended up at joe square and i'm like god damn it i don't feel like eating like greasy food right well plus you're at joe squared a lot yes yeah and then uh great food please go it is very good pizza and then so we all go to joe squared yeah and then like i feel like i have to keep the conversation going because it's weird it's awkward i'm just like oh god yeah so we're just talking about weddings because i just went to one and then oh the one kid brought his friend and they're young they're

like 24 25 and yeah they're like typical like very educated smart intellectual young but like they just try to be too deep about everything yeah yeah yeah and uh the one kid had all these opinions on marriage and yeah so it's like nah i'm 24 and i figured it all out so then i saw he had a ring i was like oh are you married he's like wow he got so awkward and he's like nah i'm 24 and i figured it all out so then i saw he had a ring i was like oh are you married he's like well he got so awkward and he's like i he's like i and then his friend had to be like well he's he's going through a divorce i'm like holy shit i was like you should have no opinions on marriage you also shouldn't have that ring on yeah and then it i felt like an asshole because yeah everyone i mean they didn't make me but it's

just like why would you ask that i'm like he has a fucking ring on we're talking about marriage right no i think about his marriage i think that's pretty germane then i'm like in my head i'm freaking out the whole time like oh god i upset this guy what was he saying he's like you know i mean marriage it's just supposed to be about love and what happens you end up getting divorced from carol yeah love carol he just had all these opinions on like well you know i think like we're talking about how cheesy and stupid weddings can be oh yeah yeah and he was like yeah i just think fouls like there's such a private thing like blah blah blah and i'm like well i get what you're saying dude but it's like yeah friends family and also it's their day they can do whatever they want he's like

no no for sure for sure and yeah so and then i just asked him that question it was like whoo it was it was he i think he left to go get cigarettes quote unquote oh no to cry in his car yeah and i felt real bad oh oh man yeah uh yeah no i can relate to that too of always having to feel like you have to keep the ball in the air yeah with anxiety i didn't need any of that yeah exactly and it's just like yeah on that too i'd be like all right these are mostly karen's friends so i'm gonna lean on her and like i will assist when i have to but i'm not in the driver's it's so painful to be in a situation where you're just like what is happening this conversation why can't you guys keep it going yeah molly yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean but yeah it's tough too when it just does

naturally happen or it's like yeah and then you're like where do we get back in and then i yeah and this happened at the wedding too like karen and i didn't know anyone at this wedding except for the bride and groom so it's not like you know it's different when it's all your friends yeah yeah and so and also it wasn't this is where assigned seating is the tits because then you just have a table and you're like hey we're table seven let's all talk to each other right all right no assigned seating oh so we're like fuck where do we sit like where do we think like the cool people are oh yeah so we just because there's already people sitting down you know we were the first ones there so like let's

just wait we hang we've been standing forever and we're like i think we just gotta sit down because all the seats they're being like oddly taken so then we'd have to like can you move over blah blah blah right so we sit down no one sits next to us until like they absolutely had to yeah and we've eventually started talking but uh yeah and then i had that same pressure like oh fuck let's keep parents probably bored these are my friends right i gotta keep this going keep this going and yeah yeah yeah i think you just gotta be like fuck it i don't know there's gonna be some dead air sometimes yeah i think so that's yeah who cares yeah yeah but yeah i i get the impulse too because then i would

for me it's it's tough to like sit in the middle of that of being like too talkative and not talkative yeah because i'm either like i'm either in it or i'm out of it so it's the same way karen actually gave me shit for like being out of it when we were with her friends i just had nothing to contribute and i was like this isn't interesting i'm just gonna tune out yeah sometimes that's tough yeah i went out with um just for a little bit before the show i had with my band a couple weeks ago went with karen and three of her friends and i was like oh this is kind of cool just me and me and the gals me and four gals getting sushi and then uh because i was like i'm just gonna get something to eat and then go to the show like we'll just hang out for like bounce early yeah yeah yeah but uh but yeah the stuff they were talking about i was like man i don't care because like it sounds uh like i'm

being like the stereotypical guy but they yeah they were just talking about like what dresses they're gonna get for the wedding and like oh what do you do with your nails and stuff yeah i don't care about any of this yes it's great important it's great and nobody like karen wasn't like mad at me but i'm just like oh i have nothing to i mean i can hop in a little bit i'm like so what's the difference between a gloss and a matte finish you know like i don't know but yeah like we riffed around a little bit but yeah there's sometimes you're like i have i can't even muster energy to be like oh interesting yeah i gotta get better at just like not caring and i'll even care when it's not my party or something yeah yeah yeah what am i what am i doing it's just um uh fuck what do they call that why can't i think of the word help me omar help me low

self-esteem that too that too That too. But God damn it. It's like a type of relationship. Codependency. It's codependency. You think that's what it is? 100%. Okay. 100%.

Damn. I got to go back to therapy. Yeah. Yeah. I went back. I'm going to start going like every six weeks. Just a little check-in. Wow.

That's a long. Well, because my therapist was like, yeah yeah i don't think you need to do every month i was going once a week at one point it was nice yeah and she was like i don't think you need to come for a while right that's kind of what she said so she's like yeah just like i don't know well she's like you can come in more if you want but i think like that would be fine every six weeks yeah cool uh speaking of marriages though i'm marrying my therapist oh yeah um no this is just like a quick aside but on at rag time this past week this show i host in arlington uh now and again uh i got up there and i was literally like all right uh i don't want to do any of my

stuff any of you guys doing anything interesting so i don't have to do my job? Like to the audience because I was hosting. I was like, any couples? Anybody doing anything fun? And these people off to the side, this guy and vaguely Asian kind of looking gal. They're like, we got married today. I was like, today? Courthouse. And you came here?

Yeah. They're like, uh-huh. And I was like, okay. So I just kind of made part of that for a while i think they were like a little off i mean like normal people but just like a little weird and the guy was like i was like yeah no we like it we're having a good time and oh that's nice isn't that funny like because we always just think like this is like to you it's like kind of work sometimes oh 100 well i realized too like ragtime been hosting for like four years or three years something like a

long time and it's like oh yeah because yeah when then when you get up there you're like all right what the fuck do you people want they're like i don't know to have fun i'm sorry yeah yeah yeah man that's hilarious so i just kind of made fun of them for a little while it was great it was so fun but yeah i wish i'd be that chill about that like not give a fuck about like having like a nice wedding or even like a big trip or anything right right yeah i guess i think they were gonna do something but yeah it was weird i didn't want to be like this is a green car it'd be great if like that woman smuggled him out of north korea they got married at a courthouse so he could have papers and live here and you're just like you came here yeah he's just like dreaming he's like i hear in america they have these things called waffle potato fries

it's incredible he's just so happy to have a burger i'm like look at this fucking loser i want to go see someone speak their mind in public. Yeah. Incredible. Yeah. What was this fucking Asian piece of shit doing here on his wedding day? Yeah, exactly. He's like, I'm in love. I'm like, I know.

What a loser. Idiot. Shut up. All right. Your next comedian. No, it was fun. They ended up being like a runner throughout the show. So that was nice.

But yeah, it was just like, wow, you got married married then you came to a free comedy show okay all right do we fulfill our uh we're very close we got we got uh three minutes yeah i was uh about like therapists uh my friend um recently is going through some stuff and he was he's seeing a therapist and yeah he sometimes therapists like i have a lot of friends i dated a girl who would do this a lot she would um say like well my therapist said this is okay i'm like okay your therapist is just a normal fucking person yeah i'm telling you this is a fucking a problem in your life yeah if those words came out of my mouth i'd be like i suck yeah they shouldn't tell you what to do or what's okay you should be in control of your own life yeah yeah and uh so sometimes therapist just like really reinforced bad behavior uh he was saying um you

know he's kind of like turning to girls on tinder and like having random hookups and he's not feeling great about it yeah and his therapist is like sometimes you gotta smash dog and this is also a fill-in therapist for him oh his therapist is out on maternity leave oh and so this is like a young guy and he's just like hey man sometimes you know you're a man and uh he literally said the word dick it was like you're a man and you know you gotta get out there and uh get that dick wet. Get that dick wet. Something weird where I was like, did your therapist say dick? He was like, yeah. And I was like, oh, my God, dude.

I was like, you got to report him and get a new therapist. Don't report him. Don't report him. Don't let him lose his job. He's just trying to be cool. Yeah, exactly. What a weird thing for a therapist to say to someone who's going through a really tough time. I bet that therapist and his buddy, fellow therapist, a podcast and it's like why do i get this anxiety in there like the other day to be cool i said use your dick who am i what am i doing man

i'm not cool i don't say that stuff jesus christ yeah just yeah like that was another thing about getting older and realizing like oh most adults don't know what's going on like and now that i know therapists yeah i'm like you're a therapist yeah you're fucked up crazy like yeah i've seen advertisements like ads around baltimore they're like hey we do therapy blah blah i'm like yeah oh my god you you holy shit who's paying you you don't know anything oh yeah there's um i heard um somebody talking about there's a therapist in uh in new york that a bunch of comics go to yeah it sounds like a nightmare i would hate to have a shared therapist with like my peers i also hear i also heard he gives like he also reinforces real bad behavior right and i've heard comics who i listen to on podcasts they reference some of the

stuff that like oh he tells him he says this and then i'm like that's sounds horrible yeah i would feel so weird about that too being like because it's basically like a fill-in parent you know what i mean it's like well my daddy says it's okay but it's like no dude you got to be responsible for your own shit like something's not feeling good to you just there's a reason yeah well maybe not maybe you have like a weird way of looking at it but yeah no yeah also like just imagine like me like me you yeah i don't know like i would hate chris eric to dorn we all go to the same therapist like i walk out of the office like i've teary-eyed and yeah i just see you i'd be like oh my god i'd be worried you could hear me oh absolutely absolutely i'd be like so i don't know i'm kind

of worried that my friend's a bitch do you know anything about that doc uh and then i would want to be like man i hope i wonder if my therapist likes, I wonder if he likes me the best. Yeah. Oh, exactly. Yeah. I heard Howard Stern talking about therapy and he was like, yeah, I just tried to kill. Like I would go in there. I was like, I'll just make this guy laugh.

And then that's good. That's funny. It's like, no, you don't have to do that. I never tried to kill, but I do remember thinking, I'm like, I'm probably like her most entertaining client client yeah yeah but probably not at all i'm like right also that's not good no yeah fuck no yeah everything all of our stuff is so warped in how we see the world yeah i had the that small job interview and karen was like how did it go it's like got a lot of laughs she's like i don't think that's the goal i'm like ah well you had Wait, you had a job interview? Yeah, it was for a detail to be a team lead. Oh, within.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't outside of my agency, but it was just like a different position. Yeah. I feel the same way with my boss. Whenever I have my performance reviews, my Karen will be like, oh my God. I was like, well, she laughed a lot and joked about how I'm going to be fired, so I think I'm good. I don't think she would make that joke if she was serious.

All proficient. Hey, there you go. There you go, buddy. Yeah, they grade us for our performance reviews like a few different things, and I always get a five out of five on communication. I thought everyone did, and then I've talked to people who don't.

I'm like wow that is a bummer but yeah what are you gonna do some people uh you know they don't do their job some people fucking suck bro some people fucking suck but you know who doesn't suck us that's right our listeners and we would love we did a great job yeah and i would love for our listeners to come see us do stand up please i'm. You want to plug some dates? Yeah. This Thursday, if it comes out. Yeah.

Oh, subtle burn. Oh, no. I just meant like this episode by then. Are you going to release the last episode? Probably not. Yeah. I still have it, but yeah. We can keep it.

Yeah. Just edit out that part. And if we need to, like, if we're not going to be able to meet up. With this podcast, I want to do the least amount of work possible when i had to edit stuff out i was like no thanks so uh yeah june 6 eric the dorian headlines gin and jokes is gonna be great i won't be there i'll be in new orleans oh yeah yeah that's how you say it no how do you say it new orleans no no new orleans that was great that was great i'll be in new orleans like, hey, street people of New Orleans.

I'm just relating to you. And then I don't have much. Oh, I'm featuring for Mark Norman the 21st, 22nd of June at the DC Draft House. Be there. That will be fun. So come to that. Yeah. New Orleans is so fun.

Like, obviously, yeah, you can drink in the street. And maybe I told it on this podcast. i think i've told you the story before but the second time i went i forgot what the rules were in new orleans because in las vegas you can drink in the street but you can't have glass okay in the street but so that's always like it's the same in new orleans so uh karen and i got got there got our stuff to our room and then like we're like oh let's go walk around then we just stopped in a liquor store and i just grabbed a tall boy and uh on my way out i was like am i allowed to drink this into the street like the guy that works it's like can i drink this in the street the guy was like you can do whatever you want and i was

like oh yeah you're right all right i'll take a little bit of heroin to go please nice um so yeah it's it's pretty cool and the food is very good you gotta get it gotta get a beignet yeah down there what are we doing in july are we doing something in july yeah we have a show together in ellicott city july 18th oh yeah and then that weekend i'm hosting for my buddy tay Williamson at the DC Comedy Loft. Oh. Fame. He's of the, he was the runner up of America's Got Talent like six years ago. And it's a cool business.

So please go see us. Awesome, man. Yeah, hold on. I'm looking up to where that is. Is that the Siriana Cafe? Is that what it is? Is that us? Yeah, I think.

No, that's different. It's in Ellicott City somewhere. That's different. I don't know what the fuck. Sorry. This is good pod right here. Good pod. Okay, yeah.

So my ish to promote. I think I'm going to be on the laugh finder podcast which comes out on tuesday of this week i get to play uh ronnie rory alabaster which is my character on the baltimore boys podcast i want to do that one again it was yeah it's so fun i mean it's long because you do those two episodes i don't want to do it again yeah but uh i will say that on the second episode because i did one episode that comes out on the fourth and then one comes out the following tuesday aaron hankin raps again which is pretty fun i love that guy it's so great let's get him back on too i would love that but yeah he's just

like uh i don't have any prepared freestyles but i will do uh eric b and rock him like okay so it's just like rock him just him doing yeah just like old school hip hop that's tight um so yeah okay shows i will be at a dangerously delicious uh this week this wednesday on the fifth in dc at eight o'clock uh i'll be in gambrel's maryland with uh danny rouillet i forget the name of the goddamn bar. On the 7th in the Gambrills, I'm going to post all the stuff on my Instagram, so follow me at Josh Kaderna if you want to know. And then I'll be at the Stone Grill

and Pub in York, PA on the 8th of this week. Cool. Yeah, should be fun. Should be a good time. But yeah, follow me on the gram and Twitter at Josh Kaderna. The pod has uh social media stuff say hello on there on facebook uh umar you want to throw out your shit uh umar

khan 821 on instagram that's all the one that matters pow anything else no oh you're pointing at me stuff off mike oh yeah i was just like i gotta write i don't have my dates written down ever i just oh really you don't yeah i just do all the top of my head and then i'm like digging through facebook to see what i've been booked on oh yeah i'm stupid so i just do like notes that's so smart i put in fucking need to do that well yeah but i don't know why but it bites me in the ass because then i'll have stuff from like six eight york pa and then i'm like what the fuck is that yeah oh and i'll be at uh the dc comedy loft on the 11th and the 15th as well. So come out to that.

Yeah. Thank you guys for listening. David Koechner. Take us out. Dick Russian Sessions. Coming to an end. Thank you. Take care.