The Digression Sessions - Ep. 302 - Josh & Umar

Episode Date: November 4, 2019

Hola Digheads, on this week's episode, Josh and Umar catching up after some album recording and other shows. And we discuss being privileged assholes! Follow the podcast and Josh Kuderna, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Laughable, Stitcher, & Spotify plz!

Tage Network. That's a Gotti. the dirt but i don't want him to dig in the dirt so always yell at him and he'll call it like so ham tonight yeah open the bag like boy i know you ain't digging in that dirt get out of there boy and then uh like two seconds and then sometimes he'll go out and then you close the door and he's like wait you're not coming i want to come back in yeah and then he'll do it over and over and i'm like you can't go outside anymore cop just ignore him Just ignore him. He'll lay down. Cobb, lay down. His name's Cobb? Yeah. He's a sweetheart. He's a pit bull? Pit bull boxer mix.

Damn. And yeah, you'd think a pit bull boxer mix, when you greet them, would be like, Yeah. He's a pretty well-behaved dog. He's a sweetie. Well, I opened the door, and he barked, and then he just went, Which is not normal. Really? Usually, he just is so happy, he's barking, and he just went, oh. Which is not normal. Really?

Usually he just is so happy he's barking and he's jumping like crazy. Yeah, yeah. I think he, Karen, I've had so many people over recently. I think he's getting used to people coming over. Yeah, no. It was just funny like him just crying. Be like, oh my God, can you pet me? Who are you?

Hello. I love you. He gets bored very easily. That's why you got to have that kong shit yeah it's so fun i have a roomba thing my co-worker just gave it to me dude i was like complaining about uh how like messy like living with the dog is and i was like yeah i'm making karen buy a roomba and she's like oh don't i have one i've never used it it's brand new never used like it's been sitting on the charger i've never hit start i don't want to use it i'm like why yeah i was like are you sure she's like

yeah you can just have it i was like are you sure and dude it's the fucking cool i it's only i look this it's amazing a roomba is like a thousand dollars yeah because so a lot of people think that like all of those are roombas it's like tissue to Kleenex. Right. Exactly. So this one's only like 300? Still. Still a lot. Yeah. That I didn't have to spend.

And brand new. That's fucking nuts. Brand new. And it's pretty tight. Yeah. And it works so well. I use it like three times a week. Awesome.

Yeah. Yeah. We're lucky because Boo doesn't shed right so that's that's so nice but the cool thing about this is it gets stuff like places you would normally never vacuum like it goes all the way under the couches yeah beds yeah it's sick yeah i pay um immigrant women to do that nice yeah i thought about that but we have like Cobb is too crazy. Oh, yeah. He can't. Do they come over without you guys there? No.

And I've had it when Boo is there and Boo is a fucking nightmare. Yeah. So I have to get him out of the house. One time he managed to pee in two rooms at the same time because he was freaking out so bad. I locked him in the bedroom and then I went up the stairs and our bedroom door is right there. And there is piss leaking from under the door into the hallway. Like, God damn it. I remember that happened when you had people over another time.

Oh, yeah. It's constantly freaking out. That's hilarious. He's a terror. He's insane. But yeah, we're in Umar's new place. It's looking very settled in. Looking nice, man.

Yeah. We still have a lot of stuff to do. We got to paint, hang up art. I like the color in here. This color's fine. I kind of want to just make it white, I think. White's boring. An accent wall and then white.

Well, we'll see. I don't know. I feel like white's a little plain. It looks nice in the day, but in the dark, it's just so like, eh. What are you going to do? What are you going to do, huh? What are you going to do? This homeowner talk, you know? Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, man. Big weekend for you, eh. What are you going to do? What are you going to do, huh? What are you going to do? This homeowner talk, you know?

Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, man. Big weekend for you, dude. Album recording. Album recording. And good old PA. Yeah.

In Hanover, Pennsylvania at the Church of Satire. It was good, man. Nice. I was nervous. Like, when you were texting me, you're like, what are ticket sales like? I'm like, I don't even know. Oh, sorry. No, no, no. It's fine. It's a fair's a fair question but i mean i thought about it too but i was just like i don't

even want to know i just wanted to treat it just like any other show yeah because like if i was not recording there's nothing i could do about like i'd still be closing out the show so it's like i was thinking you kind of did it like rory scoville did his first album yeah where he was like fuck it i'm just gonna record an album yeah like he was like i don't care what it's like and uh yeah and yeah and i think his first album is amazing nice yeah no mine's probably i would say gonna be a little better than his you know and i you know i mean people are telling me that i'm not saying that a lot of smart people are saying that my album's gonna be better have you listened to it oh yeah of course it's so good it's great anyway i got the uh vinyl that he did with the third man records yeah and it's really funny so when you flip it to side b um as soon as the

record starts on the back half it's like a huge laugh that's all you hear and he's like guys don't laugh at that i just scream the n-word you're not supposed to laugh at that oh he's that's so good oh yeah so night one night one was good it was uh so the place holds 50 i think max occupancy is 49 um so interesting number yeah yeah it's i mean you can't let that one extra no no no the hanover uh fire chief or whoever was like i don't think so no 50 would be unsafe um but uh but yeah so i'd never been there before but i got offered the weekend the headline so i was like might as well record if i'm doing longer sets i've had this fucking material forever but yeah the first night there were 25 to 30 people there all right yeah and tommy sambazo who was featuring he was like yeah when i had my weekend we had seven people here and i was like holy shit we lucked out so

i thought saturday night was gonna be i was like that'll be the night we get like 10 people but whatever i felt pretty good about uh friday and then we'll just get like safety stuff on saturday and then saturday sold out wow that's huge yeah that's great yeah the owner jim the dude jim brian he's like dude you sold out i was like that's right i did yeah i had everything to do with this this is not uh because of just a lucky circumstance right yeah nice man yeah so it was it was a lot of fun and it was like crowd was like a little older but they were great they were rolling with it having a good time how was the second show was it better i like the second show better well actually so i i lucked out because i think there were some bits like i did different bits

each night so i could have them to mix in but i feel like there was some bits that went better on friday night and then some bits on saturday that went better yeah so i'm gonna try to merge the two um yeah you do audio and video yep ty yeah yeah my my buddy uh paul hudson you know been on this pod and then paul kevin brennan we uh yeah they had like all the all the like uh camera stuff and like i knew how to set everything up like they're like kevin works with the ravens and stuff like yeah they're pros yeah so i remember kevin's been doing that stuff forever yeah so and he's so funny um he's great he used to do stand-up that's yeah yeah like when we i first started i felt like he was like one of the funniest people in baltimore yeah he was so good he was like kind of roryish too like so

comfortable on stage and riffing around hell yeah but dude dude. But dude, it was so fun. It was so cool to have like two days in a row of driving with Paul and Kevin and like all the gear and shit and having good times as we drove through rural Pennsylvania. Before the show? Yeah, on the way up. You're relaxed. Oh, yeah. It was great, man. We're driving up.

It's like golden hour. It was funny. We're driving through like rural Pennsylvania. Yeah. You ever wonder who like the fuck lives out here? Like is crazy yeah yeah and then you're looking out the window you're like it's kind of beautiful too i guess yeah well also it's funny because like those kind of streets too like if you make like one turn and then it's just like suburban sprawl you know like yeah probably no this was pretty far from that this is like rural rural damn i wonder

where the occupancy of that town is yeah i don't know i have no idea it can't be too big god who i mean cool that a club exists out there but like what a risk to take yeah i mean i i think hanover is not too bad though like as far as like towns go but i mean just on the way there you have to go through this rural ass oh okay hanover is different hanover is like once you get there you're like okay this is a town but it's still like we were talking about it's weird it's one of those towns where like every person has that one job like there's the all-state insurance gary guy you know what i mean like yes right like there's this is this whatever baker yeah damn's hilarious. Damn, it's so crazy.

Well, I was, like, having good times and watching that show. Do you watch that show Rotten on Netflix? It's about, like, the food industry. It's just about how evil, like, different parts of the food industry are and how bad we're fucking up the environment. Yeah. And so, like, I'm, like, you know, just having good times. It's like. That is the show you want to watch and be on good times.

So there was one on water. Dude, bottled water. It's about Nestle. Oh, they're awful. Holy shit, they are evil. Nestle, Poland Spring, all those people. Oh, yeah. So they went into the whole history of bottled water.

But anyway, so they're going around. So a lot of the world relies on these companies for bottled water, like parts of Africa and Asia. And like they were making an argument like, well, we could get water to these people without having these companies sell them. But anyway, there was one part. It was just like, it's just so crazy that in 2019, people still live lives where they wake up. An hour of everyone's day is waking up, walking to a river with a fucking tub on your head and filling it up for water just after the day. A giant plastic bin, yeah. And I'm just like, I just remember I was texting Chris.

I was like, dude, can you believe people live this way still? That is a crime. And not just some people, like most of the world. Most people. It's fucking horrible. live this way still like that is a crime and not just some people like most of the world people it's fucking horrible like dude by the time we get ready and leave for work we have used more water than most people have in a month are you like even i'm such an asshole too like sometimes i'll be letting the shower heat up i'm like i'm like i better knock out a couple push-ups water yeah i'm the man dude this morning This morning, the water, for some reason, the water took forever to get cold, and it was lukewarm.

I'm like, I can't drink this. I let it run for like two minutes. Disgusting. What the fuck? This almost ruined my morning. I'm sure I could put an ice cube in it, but then it would just melt quickly. What the fuck? That's extra effort.

God. Life can be so hard sometimes. I know, dude. People don't want to say that but it's not easy oh my god no there's uh uh i watched years ago uh a documentary all about that like all the water companies and so like also what's it called you remember where i love watching stuff like that i'm sure and not changing anything i do think it's called. Yeah, exactly. You're like, damn, that's fucked up.

I'm gonna go get in the hot tub. Like end of the end of a documentary goosebumps. We're like, like, like usually a music's playing and a montage is happening. And facts are playing flying up on the screen. You're like, and for like two seconds,

you care so much. And then you're like, all right, let's go eat out. And yeah, well, there's food. There's a website that's like, yeah, they're like, if you just sign this petition here, we could fix this.

I'm going to do that. Should we get Postmates? Yeah, did you ever watch a dolphin documentary? The Blackfish or whatever? No, that's a great one, too. No, I haven't watched it. But it's something cove. It is.

It's the killing cove, right? Well, they do kill all these. So it's not killing cove, but that's what they do there. Yeah, they lure them in there. They lure like hundreds of dolphins in, and they just start stabbing them with spears. These are Japanese fellas? Well, I mean, I don't know why ethnicity matters josh that's not an ethnicity that's a country that's their country of origin and but they've

been trying to hide it so this like team of scientists were like they set up cameras all around in the middle of the night and caught like what actually happens in the cove and uh and i just remember watching that i was like damn i like i can't believe this happens and blah blah blah and then you leave the theater and you're like all right you just never think about it ever again you're eating a tuna sandwich you're like that shit was fucked up yeah damn um now i think the documentary is called tapped i think um but yeah companies like poland spring or people like that they'll find um the natural water yes spring yeah they find that and then they'll buy that yeah so like it'd be like living in a town where you can't

access your own water and if you go on that property even which is like a park yeah like they'll arrest you yeah and then now they're charging them for their own water and yeah all that shit's really scary that's the shit i try not to think about like in the future like fucking uh oh there's gonna be wars over water climate refugees like you know and then water yeah sure it's uh you know good good stuff a lot of fun stuff especially to watch when you're uh on good times it's like yeah no this is good uh yeah in my lifetime we'll be at war over water and the cool part is i'll be 60 years old so i can really defend myself when the world is falling apart oh dude they uh well also this documentary was talking about how like uh there's really nothing

that beneficial about spring water they just these companies these companies like just like, you're like, oh, it's from the earth. There's minerals in it. So it's got to be good. Yeah. And then when they started running out of spring water, they came up with mineral water. So it's literally purified tap water. Yeah. And when you purify water, it tastes like shit.

So then you have to put stuff in it, like minerals in it to make it taste like decently. So it's just tap water that like you flavor essentially. Yeah. And then you put it in plastic bottles that give you cancer. Great. It's, oh, we're going to fucking, this world is going to. In the tap documentary, they show a town that was next to a plastic plant or something like that.

And they're the ones that make all the plastic water bottles. And they got cancer from it just like being in like all the chemicals in the air holy shit of course it's like yeah i reckon i got the cancer you know you're like god damn sipping my bottle water i'm like yo let's fuck off there was oh my god there was one uh yeah that's what's so funny too because uh like i carry around this yeti everywhere and uh do you remember like there was like a time where no one drank water yeah and then ever we all had water on us all the time yeah and then it was mostly bottled water like all my friends like and friends like parents like would have buy bundles of bottles of water.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, all right, grab some water before you go to the pool. Like 24 packs of Dan and water and shit. Yeah, and then so it's funny because then people are like, hey, why don't you just buy like a refillable? And like, well, what am I supposed to carry this everywhere? What are you, nuts? I don't know.

Bring a little bag. Yeah. Louis Black had a bit about that years ago. How like in New York, people were going nuts about it. And then some people would have like a satchel to put their water in. He's like, what are you going to the fucking desert? Get out of here. Like you're in the middle of the city.

It's going to be okay. Yeah. Yeah. I do drink way more water. Like in the summers when I don't work, I barely drink any water. But just at work, just because I'm at a desk and this my water bottles in front of me yeah i like fill this up four times a day this is 32 ounces nice that's good though it is good it's good to stay hydrated i think i'm the most hydrated whenever i do a

comedy club same oh you crush speaking of drinking bottled water buddy i rack up like eight in a night same it's so crazy i don't know why that is i think because they're free they're free yeah i i will say this drinking from a bottle is very easy it is i can crush a bottle oh yeah satisfying that's why yoo-hoos were so good and you could finish them in two sips and they're good for you yeah wow they're they're not even real milk i remember noticing that like i said it was milk and i think my dad was like it's not milk and then i looked at it's like god you're right on the label it says chocolate drink also chocolate drink is you pick them up out of an aisle it's not in a it's not in a refrigerator yeah dude we saw uh at walgreens like where they have uh all the candy

and gum and shit yeah they had sunny d uh like frozen like icy things or something like that sounds good it was like what but what is this this is so weird i've never seen those orange yeah i guess they're like a freezy pop thing but it's sunny d i'm like yeah i could fuck with that i could that's crazy but yeah speaking of being hydrated comedy clubs um no when i was at uh the giraffe's house i was like god damn I'm drinking like six of these. Same. I did bring them home in my book bag and I recycled. Nice.

But that doesn't even matter anymore because China is going to stop taking our garbage. Yeah, there's a whole documentary about that. Yeah, it's so fucked up. It's crazy. Even here in Baltimore, we have like I think our recycling plant or whatever our trash goes is, like, not up to code. Oh, no. So they're in trouble with stuff. So I might just throw my shit in the harbor, you know?

Like, you can't recycle. Like, most plastic that you probably think you can recycle, you can't so like if you don't you buy like um like uh i don't know like like uh like uh like a bag of nuts that comes in like a plastic bag and you rip off the plastic yeah i throw that away yeah you can't i didn't know that you can't recycle that oh i throw that away i didn't know you can't recycle like um thin plastic there's a there's a thing at giant that i that you can recycle those like like specifically just those just plastic bags oh yeah and yeah so that and then like like thin plastic bags like i always do them in the recycling and karen's like what the fuck are you doing yeah i'm recycling whore like and then she's like yeah none of she's like almost 80 percent of

the stuff you just put in here won't be... Like, they can't take it. And she didn't take umbrage with the whore part. Yeah, no. Yeah. She's like, oh, okay, no problem. Just next time, make sure there's a number four with a triangle around it. Yeah. That means you can recycle it.

Okay, whore. Oh, man. Yeah. So, but then it's just like, Karen's like, like oh should we sign up for that compost thing i was like what's that she's like oh every month this company just comes picks up a compost pile yeah and i was like oh cool is it free she's like no and i'm like oh then fuck no we're not yeah are you kidding me i'm not paying someone to take my trash you might be able to i don't know how it works but you might be able to compost out back that's what i said but karen was like it smells

and she was like it it will attract rats. I was going to say, but living in a city, all kinds of shit would get in there. Yeah, you don't want to do that. Especially here, dude. I was just running. I thought it was a squirrel. It was a fucking rat running down the avenue. Yeah, just smoking a cigarette.

Yeah. What up, Umar? What's going on? Oh, man. Speaking of clubs, two weeks ago. This is no last week. Yeah. Well, I had taken two weeks off comedy just because of the move and everything.

Yeah. And so then I got booked a while ago to open up for Gilbert Godfrey and then Steve-O on the Friday and Saturday. So Gilbert was Thursday. And then that week, like sunday yeah uh andrew was like hey can you open it for this guy ismo and i'm like sure that was on a tuesday tuesday then wednesday i was booked to do the show in ellicott city and then sunday i got hit up to feature at the cellar door so i was like damn i am coming back fucking hot you're on a run yeah so by the time you get to sunday you're just like a sharp sword yeah yeah so uh mcgooey i show up tuesday this guy ismo uh look him up he's actually

so funny like yeah i thoroughly enjoyed his headlining set like it was really really good just genuinely funny genuinely funny straight Genuinely funny. Straight up. Great joke writer. Great personality. And he's from Finland. Oh, interesting. And so he has this, you know, they have like a sing-songy accent. Yeah.

The Finnish people. Wait, does he do like a lot of like, not puns, but like. He breaks down the English language. I've seen this guy. So two of his. And that's only like two chunks of his stuff but that's what he's really famous for because his video went viral about him talking about the word ass i was gonna say that's what it was he's like ass is good but ass can be bad too yeah yeah yeah so and it's uh he did the same thing his closer was he did it

with the word shit uh-huh dude he did it for 12 minutes yeah and you think it gets boring it's unreal how good it is well no it's a good point and they must be confusing learning the language especially slang because you're like shit could mean anything yeah and he was such a nice guy like he was just genuinely sweet and he'd be up on stage and like you know he would say stuff like crazy he knew he was like saying something crazy he'd just go like he would do this weird finish like a fucking horse it was crazy he was like i'm so silly i'm so silly isn't this silly oh wow this is He had this one joke about like dates. He's like, I don't get dates.

He's like, you know, he's like, like, like something just about how like men have to do all the paying and stuff. And he's like, it's like women, like they pretend like they, Cobb, off, off. Oh, dog's not allowed on the furniture. Off, buddy. Oh. Off. There you go.

I get it though. We usually let him, but we put a blanket on it it's being washed sorry bud washed uh so hi handsome i don't know it was such a great joke and he was saying like oh man we have to like pick you up blah blah blah very standard but then he was going it's like and then like but like women complain the most about like oh you think you have it hard it's like well it's like, well, what do women have to do? He's like, they just have to wear makeup. And he's like, I guess that's why it's called makeup,

because they have to make up for all the times they don't pay. And I was like, damn. And he did it way better. I can't remember. But I just remember thinking, wow, that is so good. And his fan base is so cool. Like, they're all older people, but more than half the crowd is like super European. Like accents.

Yeah. And there was somebody brought a Finland's flag and they hung it on the second tier banners. Like we're at the fucking uh soccer yeah what the hell yeah so i showed up and we were talking in the green room and literally five minutes before i go on stage andrew the club owner called me backstage he's like hey man uh just fyi you have to work squeaky clean like squeaky clean i was like what the fuck i was like why are you telling me this five minutes also that's a good response being clean yeah are you fucking shitting me you fucking asshole because i have all my new jokes are not clean i mean they're not

one is super dirty i have like i think a new closer finally really yeah that's exciting and uh i've been i was closing on it in the gilbert and steve shows and it was murdering nice uh so i couldn't do that so i was just like god damn it so i'm freaking out i talked to the feature and i'm like dude we have to work squeaky clean he's like what nobody told me that uh-huh and his feature he brought his feature uh and they had done one show together in new york and he's like hey come to baltimore wait is this the finnish guy yeah okay so so i go up on stage and i'm like i had a very okay set i was just like in my head well you're yeah you're you're trying to you're thinking ahead of where you're speaking you can't fully be in the moment exactly so you're like i usually say

this don't say that so you're saying words but you're thinking further way further than you are it comes it comes off as stilted because like you're thinking as you're speaking yeah like and then i went to the thing you know yeah and so i did okay then i get off stage and they had set up uh ismo's merch and the merch one of the shirts says funny ass shit yeah and i'm like what the fuck i was like he wants me to wear clean his merch says ass and shit on it so i got so you texted me a picture of that that merch yeah to the group text and when you what's the dude's name ismo ismo so you're like look at this merch i assumed you were working with like a 400 pound black dude named ismo like yo it's ismo and this is that funny ass shit like i thought that's and now that i'm putting it together because then it's like his it's just for the puns that

he does like ass and shit but you don't like who would wear that anywhere no totally 100 but it is funny that it's like this like five foot five finish guy or something that's like i just like wordplay but i really thought it was like yo eastmo in the building so then i talked to eastmo and he was like hey it was good he was like it was good and i was like i was like i didn't he was like and i was like yeah i didn't know i had to work clean he's like you don't have to work clean i was like what so and he was like oh no i need to tell my. He's like, you don't have to work clean. I was like, what? And he was like, oh, no. I need to tell my management. That's the thing.

They're telling the clubs the wrong thing. Like, I just didn't want you. I just don't want people. He's like, because I've had this happen before where he's like, you know, I'm in the Midwest. And he was like, one time this host, he just did 10 minutes of like face fucking and like face thing. Exactly. That's all they don't want.

So then it gets misconstrued it's like you need to be clean yeah they just don't want somebody to go up and set it the tone like once you do that the crowd's like all right this is like the grossest thing we'll hear all night and they're kind of like they're over it at that point because you can't be like what's up motherfuckers y'all fuck pussy right it was just like you know sometimes like also like a lot of comics especially in the u.s they can just be mean on like they're very nice people. But on stage, their persona is like, I don't want people to be mean and I don't want people to be overly grotesque. I was like, that is I could have just did my regular act.

A hundred percent. You don't want to question the owner. And then, you know, you're just in this weird spot. No. And that's usually what it is. Even when club owners are like, all right, you need to be clean as a as a host what they mean is like just don't go over overboard with it but he really emphasized squeaky clean and yeah he's a family guy well that's probably what his manager says you know because then the manager is trying to cover their ass and be like no my uh i was gonna

say client yeah yeah yeah they're like, my client needs it to be clean. Okay. This is his show. And like, they're trying to justify their job and overdo it. The feature didn't do that well either. So I was like, all right, cool. It wasn't just me. But so.

Hey, man, your set was ass. In a bad way. The New York guy. Very nice. And very funny. It was just, you know, they didn't care about us. They were there to see Eastmo. They're European. Yeahan yeah it's like they're not really comedy fans they're that dude's fan exactly yeah so then uh ismo yeah dude it was great and then opening up for gilbert was

nuts i mean like people love him dude it was more than sold out. Yeah. So that's like 350 people. Yeah, it was a lot. Yeah. And I got nervous because when I drove up and I was walking into the crowd, the line was like wrapped around the club. Yeah. And I was like, fuck yeah. But I'm looking at his fans and it is just like, whoo. Old.

Old people, white trash. And I'm like, oh, they're going to hate me. And I they're gonna hate me and i was like got nervous i was like god damn it i'm gonna bomb but you know that's just because i'm crazy well that's the thing we all go through yeah yeah dude so we're sitting backstage and i'm pumped like i want to meet gilbert he's a legend yeah and he's just this frail old man he's a little grandpa yeah he's like a little jewish grandpa. He's like a little Jewish grandpa. And he's like, could I get a Caesar salad, please? Yeah.

No. So we're just sitting backstage. He barely talks. Me and Matt Brown are yucking it up. Yeah. And so Gilbert, you just say hi, and he'll just be like, oh, hello. Yeah. But barely even in that voice. Exactly.

Hi. Yeah. He's very sweet yeah quiet yep and like a little like slumped over shoulders really bad posture yeah it looks like he's like folding in on himself like a little like turtle yeah and really bad just like he's not that old like he's not that old i think i think like think Andrew said he's not that much older than him. Really? No. No, maybe he's exaggerating. Because he's been famous since the early to mid-80s.

Yeah, maybe he's in his early 60s. Let's see. So we're backstage, and me and Matt are just talking. And at first, we're trying. We don't want to talk. He's sitting between us, and we're just talking across him. Yeah. So we'll try to involve him in conversation.

And we're like, Matt was talking about his dog and Gilbert and Matt goes, Gilbert, do you have a dog? Do you like dogs? He's like, oh, yeah. Funny story. I had a dog. He got hit by a car. It's a funny story. And then we were like, oh, no, that sucks, man.

He was like, yeah. And then that was it. That's a good story. It was so funny. I was like, oh, man, how long ago? He was like, oh, this was in the last year. I was like, oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

I had a similar thing with Tony Woods once about this podcast. I saw him at Beer Baron. It was like years ago because I wanted to get Tony on. And I was like, hey, Tony. Who is a legend, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He brought up Chappelle. Yeah, he was just featured in the New York Times too.

Yeah, awesome. I don't know if Tony was at the Kennedy Center, but they did a thing at the DC Improv. Right, I'm sure he was there. Yeah, I went sure he was there. Yeah. But, yeah, I went up to him. And Tony's really cool, but he's very aloof. That's his personality. He's a drunk.

Hey, aloof. So I went up to him. I was like, hey, I'm a con. We had met before. He's like, oh, okay, all right. I was like, yeah, and I do a podcast. And Seton Smith, we just had him on. it's like it's like yeah he mentioned you and it'd be cool to get you on the podcast and he was like oh yeah i like seeing he's my what's your podcast called

uh it's like digression sessions and he's like oh okay and i have my phone out like showing him like yeah we've done a bunch of episodes trying to be like we're real you know and he's like what is it depression sessions i could talk about sad stuff and then he like looked over his glass like my best friend killed himself last week and i was like well oh my god i guess i'll hit you up on facebook tomorrow we'll set up a date to record jesus yeah and he's never done the show because i didn't want to like it was so weird it's rare he does podcasts. Yeah. Yeah.

But still, like, where do you go from there? He's like, yeah, my friend killed himself last week. Like, oh, good. Oh, so then Gilbert, before the show, he eats. He orders wings, a shrimp wrap with fries and a chocolate cake all before the show starts. Unreal watching this old skinny ass dude eat this much food he has to weigh what like a buck 25 maybe yeah maybe i'm saying like one yeah 120 yeah he's tiny yeah he's tiny but yeah he likes the he likes the free food he's a big fan

so then i mean his crowd is like it was cool because you watch you walk out before the show is started and like they're really chatty which is a good sign they're like so pumped to be there yeah and i go up i'm hosting dude i had a great i got two applause breaks host set it was killer yeah when mcgoobies is full it's so fun it feels like a theater yeah it's unreal it is because it used to be a dinner theater with like the tiered seating and everything yeah that goes up he has a good set he thinks he didn't but he did great yeah and uh gilbert goes up and i had to introduce him because i'm hosting and i i was like fuck like where is he should i run backstage i don't know

if i have time to run backstage and make sure he's like uh-huh but i was like where he should be in the rafters he's not on the side of the stage i'm like all right i'm just gonna go up and yeah he knows what he's doing he's been doing this forever yeah so i go up i draw out the intro and i'm like give it up for gilbert godfrey and he comes up most comics will come from your left but he came from the right okay and because a hostess had to walk hold his hand walk him on state like upstate it took forever oh my god so cringy dude i just uh i just googled it he's 64 so that's not that old not that old so and he was like he has a real bad bum knee, I guess. Oh, no. But Karen said it's probably a neurological thing because then he can stand for almost

an hour and do jokes. Right. Right, right, right. And apparently his act hasn't changed since the 80s. Well, that's... I was going to say, it hasn't really changed. It's kind of street jokey, too. Oh, yeah.

There are some really funny ones. Really good, yeah. I love... One of my favorites is uh he's like a man comes home he's very excited his wife's in there and he goes he goes honey pack your bags i won the lottery and she goes where are we going he goes i don't give a fuck where you go but you got to get the fuck out of here he has a great joke about moby dick uh-huh he's like moby dick he's like a giant whale a giant whale could eat like open his mouth and swallow like i don't know like a whole

boat if it wanted to but he's just gonna nibble on your leg just i just take a little bit of this guy it was just so funny take a little bit oh it was great yeah that was a great night yeah it's fun to do stuff like that where you're like oh it's weird to cross paths with these people that have been yeah business for like 30 years like seeing that dude like growing up seeing him on a fucking uh problem child or like whatever 80s movie like yeah yeah yeah exactly come here cub yeah yeah it's like yeah when you're watching that cartoon as a kid and they're like i'm gonna be in a green room with him asking him about his dead dog one day yeah dude and uh yeah that was great and then so uh stevo's weekend a little weird yeah and at in the moment i was very upset about it but now i

think like looking back like i think it was the right decision on on his part you know and you know what i think too is that so andrew's really protective about um hosting announcements so there might have been two that they were like they didn't want to host in the first place. And then Andrew probably fought for it. Right. So, yeah. Well, I guess people have no idea what we're talking about right now.

Yeah, no, you'll get to it. Yeah, yeah. So I get to the foreshadowing. I get to Magoobies. And again, the whole weekend is sold out for Steve-O. Yeah. Steve-O has 4.5 million followers on Instagram.

I believe it. Joe McCaffrey has 30k so um steve-o so i show up and i go in the green room and there's this guy in there who i assume is steve-o's feature act that he brings with him uh-huh and i was like hey what's up man are you the feature act i'm the host and he was like uh yeah and then he just looked like really out of it and i was like are you tired man i was like you guys have like a long flight and he's just like i was just meditating i'm like all right man i'll give you your space so i left the green room really weird i was just meditating and um so i come back in steve-o's in there and they're just like ignoring me it was weird and because i remember you said

steve was like a really nice not that he wasn't so when when i met him or like when i did the show with him at the it was at harrisburg comedy zone there's not really a green room so i think the show started like when he arrived so there is a green room but it's like way in the back yeah because it's in like a motel ish kind of thing right so i only hung out with him after the show oh okay so before the show it was like okay let's go let's get started um so yeah we didn't really have like downtime of just sitting there yeah you know so i was like damn this is awkward uh i was like let me just ask like how much time they're all gonna do and then i'll get out of here yeah so i asked a feature act i was like hey man how much time are you doing and i

was like what credits do you want he's like no credits and i'm doing five minutes and i was like what uh-huh because a feature act normally does 25 30 minutes and then now and then i looked at and then i was like well how much time am i doing then and then they're like they look like uncomfortable because they're just like who are you they were like well usually we do a two-man show and so the club insisted on having uh uh someone do announcements so i guess you can just do like three do the announcements like three minutes or whatever and then bring me up and i was like oh that is that's such comedy blue balls and i was like a sold-out show and i was like um i was promoting it yeah because i knew it was gonna be a sold-out show yeah i was like what the fuck yeah and i was like three minutes and you just just want me to do

announcements you don't want me to do jokes which again not their fault no uh i think there's miscommunication so then i'm like all right well you know what let me go talk to the owner because i don't need to be here yeah and so i talked to him and he's like look man i need someone to do my announcements yeah that guy's not going to do my announcements yeah and so yeah andrew is very into the announcements yeah which uh i get get it. It keeps... You get clientele. Yeah, like comment cards, all that shit.

How to leave. You got to collect email addresses. You got to collect numbers. I get it. It's a business. Yeah. So the poor bastard who has to enter in all that shit for every show.

Yeah. It might be him or one of the managers i think either way damn they should do it on ipads um so i talked to him and he's like he's behind the bar because it's so packed he's like serving drinks yeah and sending them out and i'm like yeah god this sucks so i'm like trying i'm he's like what's up man i was like hey so they don't want me to do jokes and he's like no dude all right just do five minutes which also sucks yeah because you're doing five he's like do five minutes of jokes work clean also during that five minutes people are still like should we get nachos do you want like all the tables are gonna be very chatty exactly and it takes forever when it's it was like a sold-out show it was the first show was

very chaotic stuff like well i'll get into that so i'm like he's like all right go tell them you're gonna do five minutes i was like he's like and i'm sorry you have to do this i'm just like god this is like the worst way i'm just in such a bad mood i had to get there at 6 30 because the first show's at 7 the second show's at 10 he does like an hour and a half of meet and greets yeah no he takes pictures with every single every single person so i go i do a five minute set oh and this time i asked them i was like guys do i have to work clean and they're like no yeah and i was like thank god yeah and so i go up and uh crowd was hot i fucking annihilated nice i mean annihilated for a show nice and uh so i bring up that guy he's not a comedian uh-huh and i felt bad because him having to go up after like a real comedian yeah and do what because he tries to tell a couple of jokes it was rough yeah

and um i think he knew it so he would he would acknowledge it he was like i'm not a comedian what was he doing uh i don't even remember it was just like very easy stuff he played off of some of my stuff and then he was he's just really there to explain what the show is gonna be so steve-o goes out he tells anecdotes and then he has shot a bunch of stunts like he would do on jackass yeah and uh i wonder if that guy's there to like help keep him sober he's the road manager also yeah he's there to set up the merch and sell the merch while steve-o takes pics right uh because stevo makes like ten thousand dollars in merch oh no doubt so then stevo goes up i don't know if i should say all this i don't want yeah either it was a chaotic night it was very chaotic yeah and uh i just think stuff wasn't

communicated well to the club yeah and i think if you're trying to do a show like stevo's doing where you have all this video production you bring your own person yeah you should not rely on like you rely on clubs to do that well that manager guy should know how to do all that shit or something or yeah and also do a dry run yeah you should rehearse that don't get to the show right before it starts. Right. Your tour manager should get there early and watch every single video clip played through. And so that did not happen. A lot of technical issues. Right.

Some of the videos didn't play. At first, when he first introduced the video, there's no sound. Oh, man. and play at first when he first introduced the video there's no sound oh man and really what it was was just uh you know how like you just have to um click in the bottom right hit the speaker and sometimes when it's like the x over you just gotta click sat like yeah uncheck the no sound unmute it yeah so just to see a sold out show see that happen on the screen oh because you oh my god yeah because it saw the like little arrow come over it was cool because everyone like applauded when yeah yeah we did it cool yeah um and steve-o was at first very upset about it but then he apologized and uh

but the whole first show like i've never seen everyone so stressed out at a comedy show yeah and i've done some like frantic trying to make yeah make it work like and it was everyone was like there's so much like yelling and panic and it was just like i couldn't go in the green room yeah don't worry about it and uh well also i like that we're like we're not gonna go into it you're like it was insane i'm not being specific but i'll tell you afterwards but uh yeah and i couldn't go in the green room because his dog was in there he brings a dog with him this sounds like fucking uh like uh um saving private ryan like the first scene where they're on normandy like it was fucking there were limbs everywhere people were yelling and a dog was in the green room it's just like steve-o was in a bad mood during the first show and it was so uncomfortable like at one point like i'm i went to the bathroom there's only one

bathroom so while the video playing is steve-o walked in the bathroom too oh and steve-o's fans uh they're very nice people but they're kind of like yeah trashy yeah and uh i'm in the green room there's this white guy with like dreads tattoos all over like fuck yeah steve-o he's like steve-o bro you're my idol steve-o you're my man i grew up watching you dude yeah steve-o is ignoring him uh-huh is not making eye contact never responds never looks in his direction uh-huh he's and leaves which i get he's like he's doing a show but he could just be like hey man i'm working i'll talk to you after or something all right like thanks i gotta get back to the show it was so weird it was so uncomfortable so wait this is in the bathroom

not the green room the bathroom steve-o had to pee and there's only one bathroom for everybody yeah okay yeah so that happened and then no one told me uh like the logistics of the show so steve-o says goodbye to the crowd walks off stage yeah i walk up on stage yeah i'm like one more time for steve and steve runs up there's one more video there's one more video clip and i'm like oh my fucking god runs up the stage that's so embarrassing it was so embarrassing like steve-o charging out like no dude i have one more video now it was so embarrassing and just looked so bad and uh so then like that happened then i go up again i'm like all right one more time for steve-o then so i did five minutes of jokes right yeah so in the end of the show yeah usually a normal end of the show at mcgooby's you do the comment cards and you stand

up on stage and do a drawing yeah you pick one of the comment cards out of a basket and then that person wins 10 free tickets to a show it's like five minutes yeah i have to do so many announcements so the manager sydney who's super cool but yeah it's like if you're up top you need to exit to the left and then come down here and present your thing so i have to do like the's like if you're up top you need to exit to the left and then come down here and present your thing so i had to do like the exit like if you want to leave up top left bottom right main entrance yeah vip people you guys line up right now yeah for your meet and greet general admission you stay but also they wanted everyone to fill out the common cards so i had to do all that i was literally on stage for 20 minutes after the show corralling the crowd that sucks it sucked and i was like it sounds like

you're at like a terrible like work retreat thing like okay guys i know we're having fun but can you please pass forward this is not calm like i'm not no getting paid to do this no you're like a comedy club employee exactly i was like why am i doing this someone else should do this yeah and uh it sucked so much and so then but his fans are really nice to me i hand out a lot of cards they're like dude you're so funny that's great that was nice yeah i mean it is you are getting paid too i mean not like a ton but it's right yeah and it is nice that it was a sold-out crowd but that's a pain in the ass at the end. Yeah.

So second show went more smoothly. And then I was like, fuck this. I was there for so long. I drank so much. Yeah. I ate two meals, chocolate cake. I was just like, fuck this. Pulled a real Gilbert Gottfried there.

Yeah. And I asked. I was like, Sydney, is it okay? She's like, dude, do whatever. I was just like, fuck this. Pulled a real Gilbert Gottfried there. And I asked. I was like, Sydney, is it okay? She's like, dude, do whatever. I do not care. Yeah, because you ended up being there for what? Like five hours, six hours? Yeah, 6.30 to 1 a.m.

Damn. Yeah, you can have two meals and some fucking cake. And then after the second show, I was told I got kicked off the Saturday show. And they were very nice about, the owner was like they wanted me to definitely tell you has nothing to do with you did but it just doesn't fit they don't do stand-up comedy there's no reason for them to have a comedian they don't want a comedian yeah hey i don't want to do this yeah it's like fine i was like i'd much rather have my saturday night back right right right it was cool and then i got rescheduled for the sunday show that was cool because i was like i'm so tired yeah it was uh yeah it was it was just like

oh man it was just like a weird night of comedy night yeah like you were i was kind of pumped because only because like i was like i know i'm gonna crush these shows yeah and i did i crushed i made sure to crush even harder the second show because i was just such a bad mood dude i fucking i murdered the nice yeah making it worth it so nice that's awesome yeah but uh yeah so that was my week it was crazy man no yeah i uh so yeah i did uh i did open mics on game seven of the of the World Series in D.C. Oh, yeah. That was fun. That was like, yeah.

Was it? Was it worth it? No. I mean, I went on stage, and so one of the mics got canceled. I was like, fine. Like, speaking of being like, it's not worth it. I'd rather get canceled than me show up, and there's like four people there. Yeah.

I was supposed to do that mic, and I bailed. Yeah. And I went over to Blue Pit to have a drink. Yeah. And I went over to Blue Pit to have a drink. Yeah. I ended up watching the whole game. Uh-huh. Hung out with this girl, Shay, who bartends at Big Hunt. Uh-huh.

Bartends at Blue Pit. Oh, weird. She told me to like, hey, come over, get some drinks. Nice. We're doing shots. I had a shot of whiskey. I had two old fashions. Jesus.

Karen and I had a whole meal. Uh-huh. Karen went to bed she's like i gotta go yeah but uh she had some friends that i've i know so dude and she got hammered she had to leave early but me steve uh and this other guy i met i can't think of his name but we just hung out at the bar there's only like 10 of us there and we all like just became a group the whole bar yeah we're just like cheering and right oh dude it was high five high fiving like near the end of the night like the seventh inning

when they were like pulling ahead yeah one super drunk guy who's so nice he's like we're doing shots of tequila for good luck and i'm like ah fuck it let's do it oh no i did and then uh hungover city yeah Thursday, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I stayed the whole game. It was a great, it was boring up until the seventh inning. Yeah, yeah. Which is baseball.

Plus, you're drunk, too. So you're like, it's great. This is awesome. It was a great night. I was like, this is way better than doing comedy. Yeah, when I played with my band last week at Joe's Square, I forget the bartender's name, but he's like, here's

your drink tickets uh do you guys want a shot it's like no i'm gonna use my drink ticket for you it's like no i'm just like offering i'm like oh this is a bad precedent and then like each bearded guy uh i mean if you're saying if you're asking me if there's a bearded guy at a hipster pizza restaurant yeah a little old jimmy he's great maybe it was yeah yeah he does uh jimmy jokes okay yeah he was so nice but anytime i got a beer he was like let's do a shot and i'm like well i don't know he's like come on you know it's rock and roll and i'm like oh my god that's jimmy so i didn't get great i didn't get blasted but i was like you're not helping me here it's funny because like every four months jimmy is sober oh really yeah and then some months like him and he's like doing shots he's always trying to get sober. Oh, really? Yeah. He's like, ah, time. And then some months, he's doing shots.

He's always trying to get Karen to do shots with him. Yeah, he's like, ah. He stopped asking me because he knows I won't. Yeah, yeah. But I was like, all right, if it's free and we aren't playing rock and roll. And I ate a lot of pizza. That's great. So it's not like I got blasted.

He's the best. I request. I only want him. He was great. Because he's the only one who knows how to be quiet and- Serve drinks. Serve drinks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he was a lot of the only one who knows how to be quiet and serve drinks serve drinks yeah yeah yeah no he was he was a lot of fun the show was a lot of fun uh there's a band uh the band that had us on it was called the subtastics but i kept calling them the substatics

i literally thought that's what it was like speaking of just like bad announcements yeah like and then also we're you're like that lame mom who calls hot topic hot topics hot topics yeah just adding the s to it yeah um so yeah even the bass drum said the subtastics on it but me looking at him like that's a sub static it was like you have a sub statics everybody that's like the band that had that shot and that's no i thought it was that before i even got to the show because they booked us on like we wouldn't be doing the show without them. What are they? What kind of music are they?

I'd say punk. Yeah. Pretty like straight up. How do you guys know them? They actually saw us play. Oh, that's cool. They saw us play on Ken Island and that show was like it started out good and then went real rough.

What happened? Casey's pedalboard died and then like he couldn't tune. How does that happen? So I think I mean his pedal board was fucking massive it was like three by like yeah you have a big one too yeah but his is like double what mine is and then it's all full of pedals so if there's like one bad connection there then the whole thing is fucked oh my and then so he couldn't figure it out what was going on and then had to like tune by ear and then i want to be like you can use my tuner pedal it was just weird it was like yeah he's probably in a bad mood then oh yeah oh yeah we were all like ah

good good good good good good um but we got booked off of that show so that dude paul and he was so nice and they were great and then we played with a Philly band, band Trash Boy, and they were really good. They were really funny. After the show, they're like, man, you guys are good. You want to come up to Philly and play? It's like, yeah. Yeah, that's great.

They're just like, well, how come you guys, we were watching you guys. We're like, you guys should be bigger. How come you guys aren't bigger? It's like, ah, we didn't think of that. You're right you guys should be bigger how come you guys aren't bigger it's like ah we didn't think of that you're right we should be bigger was that band good they were great damn they were are they big uh what about you guys yeah are you guys fucking basement in baltimore no i mean well they were doing a whole run of shows and stuff so they're doing like a whole little like east coast they're probably just way more dedicated you do where you guys like well we play like barely ever yeah exactly yeah it's like but i i recorded that show

and we were great it was a lot of fun yeah i wanted to make it but oh yeah yeah you're gigging got all them gigs um fuck i was just about to say something so yeah then we're gonna record doing those shows yeah so we're gonna record this month too and do like two or three more songs so that'll be fun um but yeah no so the the philly band um they're like yeah you guys should come up and i was like dude i would love to um so we're gonna try to work that out and then uh this is really funny like speaking of band stuff um i posted a facebook status that was like millennial dad leaves to go buy a vape and never comes back or whatever it's like you know the updated version of going out for a pack of cigarettes not coming back so that joke came

from us being at band practice we were riffing around because our bass player uh brian is having a kid and of course there was a vape at band practice that i was not touching no but but they had a vape and then it was so funny brian was like man i got a kid on the way i can't vape anymore it's like such a funny thing like our generation's pussy stuff it's like look man i'm having a baby i white claw it's not the law anymore all right man i'm not doing it you catch with avocado toast, smack it out of my hand. I got a baby on the way. I can't afford that.

That's awesome. So we were riffing around on that. And so I posted that on Facebook. And then my buddy Eric that writes for The Hard Times, he was like, do you want that to be an article? I think there could be an article if you want me to pitch it. I was like, sure, yeah, pitch it to The Hard Times. Hell yeah. So he pitched it. it got a lot of

likes and then i was telling casey about it and telling the band and casey was like uh i was pretty sure that was my idea wow and i was like i don't think so it's all like kind of a group they mostly miles i think miles started it and then we're all like kind of riffing around yeah and it was just so funny because he was like uh pretty sure that's my idea that's so funny and then we're all like kind of riffing around yeah and it was just so funny because he was like i'm pretty sure that's my idea that's so funny and then that led to me coming up with a different hard times article idea which is uh lead singer pretty sure good idea was his idea and that hard times accepted so now i need to write that article and that's gonna be so funny like an article just making fun of casey for god that's hilarious yeah so i'm excited yeah so i'm in the like pitch group now of like ideas for hard times what is hard

times hard times is uh i like that you're like that's cool that's very cool what is i've seen people poke but it's like is that a local based thing is it no uh i think they're based in new york but it's uh it's like a music version of the onion cool do you get paid for it yeah oh fuck yeah yeah no i mean i think um hard times is like there's a ton of sites that try to do satire and stuff like the onion that kind of suck but the hard times is very consistently funny all about the title because no one reads i've never read exactly yeah yeah so yeah so now i have the title and he's like okay so what's the idea for the article i'm like i don't really think that through so now i need to

like write that and shit so uh but it's only 350 words so it's not like nothing yeah so i just put they splice it up with ads yeah exactly so no but the site is really funny and my buddy eric navarro who's really funny he was like yeah dude so now i'm in the pitch group meeting he's like we'll get you in their pitch group uh on facebook so all you do is like you pitch an idea and if it gets enough likes it moves on to the editors and then they decide oh fuck yeah dude yeah so it's just so ironic that like it went from like oh we might get into hard times in case yeah i'm pretty sure that was my idea so yeah, yeah. Damn. I'm excited about that, man. Cool.

That should be fun. And then, yeah, so we did the show last Wednesday. And then Thursday, I went into work, and I got really bad vertigo. Ooh. Yeah. So I woke up. I was fine. I wasn't hungover.

I had those couple shots, but it was over like three hours. So I was like, all right, I'm okay. But I got got home late and then i had to get up early and go to work so i was like feeling a little out of it but not like terrible yeah um get to work fine go and get coffee it's whatever and i get back to my desk and then i think it was like somebody there was like a noise or something and i I turned my head to the left, like kind of quick. And then the room just started spinning. Like it's like when you're like super drunk spins. Oh, my God. Just like from zero to 100.

So I looked and it was like the room had to like slowly catch up with the rest of the room. Like my vision. It was like, oh, what is this? Why is this? And I had a huge meeting at 11 o'clock. And it was like oh what is this why is this and i had a huge meeting at 11 o'clock and it was like 9 15 and i'm like whoa whoa whoa so i was like just sitting there like okay this is really weird like and then it started giving me a headache because my vision was all fucked up and then i was like all right i kind of have to poop maybe i should go poop and then i'll feel better and i tried to get up to walk and i just it was like i was drunk and like still just like stumble like i couldn't walk

oh my god what happened what'd you do uh so luckily my dad where i tried to like white knuckle it for like an hour it was like same thing you do when you're drunk you're like yeah it was like trying to breathe just like move slowly right and then i got a standing desk no big deal and then i tried i tried to stand i was like maybe if i, just like move slowly. Right. And then I got a standing desk. No big deal. And then I tried to stand. I was like, maybe if I stand, I'll like even out, get some better like blood flow or something. And then, yeah, my dad works there. So I texted him.

I was like, yo, you need to walk me to the nurse because I can't walk right now. I have vertigo. So luckily he came over and we went over there and there wasn't much the nurse could do they're like uh they check my blood sugar and then like are you dehydrated it's like no and they're like i guess you got to go to the er and i was like nah dude i'm not doing that that's like 500 bucks really well to go to the er is expensive man like i didn't know that oh yeah i mean your insurance will cover it probably, but depending on what your deductible is, just to walk into an ER, if you check in, that's expensive.

$500? I mean, it depends, but it's not cheap. So what do you do? So I have Kaiser Permanente, too. So usually you have to go to their facilities. So I just called them, and then they set me up with uh urgent care so i was able to go see my doctor or like a whatever permanent doctor and by then it kind of subsided a little bit but so what vertigo is is in your ears like in each of your ear canals

there's fluid right no it's it's stones it's it's either stones or crystals depending who you talk i keep talking to people i'm like yeah they're stones like no's either stones or crystals. Depending on who you talk, I keep talking to people. I'm like, yeah, they're stones. They're like, no, I think they're crystals. They're like, whatever. But yeah, in your inner ear canal on each side, you have three of them that kind of like hang. You ever see those balls? It's like a tabletop desk thing.

So it's sort of like that. And that's where you get your equilibrium from. So I had a little bit of an ear infection. that and that's where you get that's where you get your equilibrium from yeah so i had like a little bit of an ear infection and then the night before i was like swinging my head around a lot like rocking out you know because i'm a rocker and so but my ear was inflamed and so it messed it up so if your ear is like uh inflamed a little bit in your ear canal that'll push on the stones and then that fucks up your whole equilibrium i've never had that that's crazy yeah um yeah and then there's people that i work with so there's one woman she was like oh i get vertigo it's like oh shit andrew cook says he gets it it's like wow yeah he gets a lot of stuff but yeah it was uh it was really fucking weird so

then my birthday was the next day and i was like like, I'm just going to take it easy. And yeah, luckily, I felt weird. Oh, yeah. How did your birthday go? It was great, man. I couldn't make that because of the shows. Yeah, yeah. It was so nice. It was...

33 was like a nice old man birthday. Yeah. I went and got my hair cut. I got the car washed. Went for a run. Hell yeah. Exercised. And then went and got a burger and some craft beer later.

Nice. It was a nice little... Yeah. Watched a little Great British Bake Off after. Oh, we just watched the finale. The finale. You watched the finale? Yeah, yeah.

It was disappointing. I feel bad, man. Steph, she stumbled. She was great. She was just right before that finish line. Great. She just fell apart. She won four.

She won four. Star bakers. Star bakers. Star bakakers. Starbakers. Crazy. Good sponge. We are at an hour, sir.

I'll save the wedding story for next week. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll give us something to talk about. It was a hoot. We got some stories here. Yeah, I want to say thanks again to Jim Bryan and the Church of Satire. Dude, the club was so fun. Nice. It was tiny, but it was perfect. Yeah, if it fills say thanks again to Jim Bryan and the Church of Satire. Dude, the club was so fun. Nice.

It was tiny, but it was like perfect. Yeah, if it fills up, that's awesome. The green room is really nice. And then, dude, I got off stage Friday night, and they're like, we got free pizza. So we have a deal. Wow. So you get off stage. It was weird.

It was like a comedy clubhouse. It was like all the shit you want when you're like 15. You hang out with your buddies, and they're like, there's free pizza. You're like, oh, man. Saturday night, they had free donuts. Like free food is just the best. Dude, the pizza place, they sold a Big Mac pizza. That sounds cool. Tommy bought one.

It's like a pizza with like pickles and lettuce and the burger. I think I saw a video. Was it good? I didn't try it. Oh, man. Well, so across the street there's a spot called like it was like famous hot wieners or something like that so we went and got some wieners nice i was like i'm not gonna eat a fucking chili hot dog and a big mac

pizza and then go on stage to record it yeah man i've been eating like shit yeah it's easy to do easy to do uh but no dude they the the shows were so fun and i'm happy that i got that like good for you man hell yeah thank you thank you so uh yeah uh yeah thanks again to jim bryan church's satire check that shit out um let's see here let's see what are we plugging stuff i'm ready you ready yeah you go first all right so on wednesday i will be at the dc improv with mark norman and chris allen and martin amini for overachievers believe that show starts at eight uh i think it's probably gonna sell out so if you want to come you live in dc please come do it november 7th that next day thursday i've got gin and jokes benji

himmel farms headlining super funny i got king tink on the show been pumped to have him and a couple other funny people and then saturday uh november 9th number 9th uh november 9th i'm gonna be at upstairs at the auto bar with chris allen headlining i'm featuring a bunch of other people mike quinlan's show free it is free free free 7 30 early show it's a fun one uh yes that's what i got going next week very nice uh i think the only thing i got on the books is uh i'll be at the colony club on the 8th in D.C. That's this Friday. And my buddies are doing like a fake morning talk show thing. And I'm going to be doing stand-up on that. They're two really funny improvisers.

So that should be a fun show. And that is at the Colony Club on the 8th. I'm going to be in Frederick on the 24th with Kevin Farley. That is Chris Farley's brother. Where is that? Frederickick that's at the cellar door oh nice oh sorry keep going oh yeah i forgot a plug oh uh and then let's see december i got a bunch of shit going on so it's 12 13 12 14 i'll be featuring for matt bergman at the comedy loft i'm doing couples therapy with um rami with Ramin on the 19th,

and then I'm in the lounge of the DC Improv on December 20th and 21st. Oh, man. I didn't know we were going that far. I was going to do November, but November 17th. Listen, I was just reading what I got. November 17th, I will be at Cellar Door featuring for my buddy Dan Perlman. Very funny. He headlined Gin and Jokes.

Hell yeah. December 19th, I'm going to be headlining a show in Bel Air. Ooh. Somewhere. I forgot where. All right, Bel Air heads. I'm at the lounge. When am I at the lounge?

Oh, well, it doesn't matter. It's in December so far. Yeah, people get to it. Oh, yeah, and I'm doing Ramin's shows the weekend after Thanksgiving. Oh, with Jenny Zagrino. Jenny Zagrino. Yep. That's her.

That's her. So, yeah. Super funny. Yeah. No, I'm excited for those. And, yeah, we'll keep you guys posted on that. December 13th, I'll be at the lounge. All right.

Whatever. There it is. Let's go. Yeah. People tuned out already. Yeah. All right. Thank you, everybody, for listening. And we'll talk to you next time on the show uh david keckner

take us out digression sessions coming to an end Thank you. Take care.