The Digression Sessions - Ep. 304 - Josh & Umar!

Episode Date: December 16, 2019

Hola Digheads, on this week's episode, Josh and Umar catching up on some thanksgiving talk and a recap of shows. Follow the podcast and Josh Kuderna, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Laughable, Stitcher, & Spotify plz!

Tage Network. That's a Gotti. Hey, hey. We're done gossiping? Yes. And now it's time to start the podcast. Yeah, now we can say stuff that won't ruin our comedy careers. That's right. or lack thereof

yes there you go hey everybody welcome to the digression sessions uh this is another prompt episode we like to stay we like to keep uh a good kind of rep of having normal normal episodes you know you know pretty timely how much do we miss weeks? I think we missed two weeks. We missed Thanksgiving. We missed a lot of stuff. Thanksgiving we missed? Yeah, definitely. Did we not talk about Thanksgiving then? No, no.

I think we did a podcast maybe the week before Thanksgiving. Okay. Yeah. Well, that's cool. Then we got stuff to talk about. I don't remember what I've done in between Thanksgiving. You know, as we sat down, I was like, God, I know I've done a lot, but I'm drawing a blank.

Thanksgiving for me. For me? For me uh it was a lot of fun it was very low key went to uh went to karen's parents first did a little drop in for an hour and her family was over there and uh then we went to my aunt and uncles where they uh spatchcocked a turkey what does that mean that's where you take the turkey and you essentially like break it in half the turkey was a better way to cook it yeah because so it cooks evenly too yeah very moist um but the turkey was 24 pounds which is fucking massive yeah so my uncle had to chop it with like basically uh like a buzz like a buzz sauce technically yeah like to break it in half because what you're supposed to do is you just kind of like push on it like sort buzz like a buzz saw yeah technically yeah like to break it in half because

what you're supposed to do is you just kind of like push on it like sort of like a cpr motion to like crack it yeah and it was just so big it wasn't going so i had to like dig into it and then holy shit dude um but it ended up being a lot of fun i forget what it was we were sitting at the table and i don't know how music came up but my my uncle was like, yeah, I'll show you some songs that I like. And I was like, okay. And we're sitting there. And it's like, maybe like six to eight of us. And it was, he put on that, you know, the song Hello Darkness, My Old Friend.

Yeah. But he put on the disturbed version. And I was like, oh, wow. I was going to make a joke that he likes death metal. But it's not, it doesn't sound like death metal. It's just the disturbed dude singing it. Yeah, well, he can sing that guy. Yeah, and that's kind of what he was saying.

He's like, I love this. And I'm like, oh, man, I did not expect this on Thanksgiving. That is so weird. Just picture my uncle driving home from playing golf. It's like, hello, darkness, my old friend. Oh, man, that's good. Yeah, it was a good time old friend. Oh, man. That's good. Yeah, it was a good time, man. Now, let me ask you this.

What time did you guys start eating? Oh. Did you eat at Karen's parents? We noshed. Noshed a little bit. We got some snacks. We got there, I think, around 2 to her parents and left around 3.30. And then there was like snacks and like

yeah apps out and stuff i have friends who will finish thanksgiving by like three o'clock that's whack how the fuck like who wakes up that's really well who's waking up at you're putting a turkey in at what 5 a.m for that to happen oh that's insane well that's what so i told my uncle i was like hey so we want to because it's always tough being like all right well whose house do we go to for the holidays i was like would it be okay if we got there at like 4 30 it's like oh yeah we're not eating until like 5 30 and i was like wow for i would say a normal thanksgiving meal that's late yeah but it's great i mean it's it's nice too like sun just went down like you got some time to chill have a couple beers dude i mean one year lat not this year but the year before we ate at 8 30 because pakistani people eat late

that's a bit late but are you guys doing a turkey yeah we're doing the whole shebang i don't know why you people eat shoes i don't know what you i don't know what you like yeah we throw shoes at george bush oh right, he sleeps with dogs. Yeah. George Bush is like, yeah, I love dogs. Yeah, which is so funny because people are like, yeah, we all sleep with dogs. We love dogs, yeah. Except for at my house.

Cobb is not allowed on the bed. Cobb, you bad boy. All he wants to do is get in the bed. Of course. And then I Googled it. I think it's kind of torturous to not let your dog sleep with you because they're pack animals and they like the being on top of each other. Yeah. No, it's the best feeling.

When Boo, when I like curl up and Boo puts his head on my legs, I'm like, yeah, that's what's up. Yeah, sure. But then I don't like the hair, man. It really fucks with me. So Boo doesn't shed. That is the one huge thing about Boo. It really bothers me a lot. Then having it in your bed and then you're like kind of itchy.

Then it smells. I don't get itchy. I just don't like hair on me. I don't like the smell. You don't like hair. Well, I know. Dude, bro, our bathroom floor, because we have a white tile bathroom floor. Yeah.

It's unreal how much women's hair falls out of their fucking head. Oh, sure. Yeah. After she showers, it's like she actually pulled her hair out and just started smearing it on the wall. She just lost her mind. Just writing a message. Yeah. Hi. What was that movie with Brittany Murphy?

Oh, yeah. I'll never tell. Yeah. It's like she's doing that with each strand of hair. She goes, I... Yeah. Did you let Cobb cob out i'll never so we have like this uh handheld vacuum thing that came with my uh roomba roomba type vacuum uh which was gifted to me i didn't have to buy thank you yeah we talked about it on the pot yeah and uh so i would say like every other day i just go. It's so easy. I just hit the bathroom floor because there is my hairs everywhere.

Karen's hair. I'm like, what the fuck is this? You came home in the room, but was drinking like, are you all right, buddy? He's like the bathroom. I can't do it anymore. Yeah. It's too much. That's my Vietnam.

Yeah. It's a whole thing. Oh, but my Thanksgiving. Yeah. We so. Okay okay so back up we do thanksgiving at my house yeah but like my parents are really bad at cooking thanksgiving food so me my brother have been doing splitting it yeah i remember one year when you were living here i did the mashed potatoes you were doing pies and stuff yeah yeah so no pies anymore

because no one eats my pies and it's a lot of fucking effort. It's so much to make your own crust to make your own pie and then to have no one eat it. Yeah. You want to kill yourself. And then that year I made two pies. My mom specifically asked me to make a pumpkin. I made pumpkin pie. Yeah.

From scratch. I mean, I roasted my own pumpkin. Buddy. yeah. That's a lot of effort. Scooped it out. Mm-hmm. And then my mom did not eat my pumpkin pie. Karen brought cookies and cheesecake.

All of it was gone. And it was at store-bought? No, she made it. Okay, well, that's good. That's good. Pumpkin cheesecake. But that would have been even funnier if she just got it from Giant. They're like, this is incredible.

You're like, what? Yeah. Y'all ain't fucking with my pie. So then this year, my mom calls and she was like, all right, so what are you going to make? And I was like, okay, I'll make stuffing because I make good stuffing. That's just a Bon Appetit recipe. Bon Ape Tit.

I'll make mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce from scratch, like the fresh cranberries because I don't like... People love canned cranberry. I hate canned cranberry. I think a lot cranberries, because I don't like... People love canned cranberry. I hate canned cranberry. I think a lot of people do. I don't know. Maybe it's just because you were used to it as a kid. It's like a comfort thing.

People love it. Yeah. It's disgusting. Well, it's so weird. It maintains the shape of the can. Yeah. You see the rivets in it as well. Yeah.

And then my mom specifically requested Karen make cheesecake. Didn't ask about pie. Okay. I was like, all right, bitch. Well, of course she didn't. She's like, I'm specifically asking you to not make cheesecake. Didn't ask about pie. Okay. I was like, how are you, bitch? Well, of course you didn't. She's like, I'm specifically asking you to not make it. Yeah, exactly. So we're having this conversation months in advance.

Your Thanksgiving experience is so different from mine. I asked my uncle, I was like, do we need to make anything? He's like, nope. He's like, all right. And then Karen's like, we got to do something. I was like, the man said no. Dude, I know. That's how I am. And she was like, all right, well, we got to do something it was like the man said no dude i know that's like all right well we got to get flowers i was like we'll get flowers way better than making dude and so okay like i didn't bring booze nothing i just brought flowers i don't get how people cook a whole meal themselves for thanksgiving for like a family

i don't know how you prep it how you plan it i i've done it once i think i think the cool thing about turkey is that you can kind of put it in and forget it like you have to baste it and stuff yes but then if you have the other burners open you can fuck with that actually bon appetit brad they said don't baste they're like i never baste while it's yeah they said basting that's like a there's no reason to do it interesting they did a whole thanksgiving special yeah oh are you kidding my my karen like bone appetite is her religion that's all i watch that's yeah karen's really she's just like claire made starburst today i'm like all right oh dude i love claire here we go and i love it too but it's like we're re-watching stuff and actually like

i'll be like we've seen this and then as we're watching like ah brad's the best no brad is the best we watch brad in alaska yeah watch that one yeah oh it's so good i like the super cut of him calling crabs big boy he's like oh that's a big boy there's a big boy oh look at this he's a big boy but it's so good when he makes uh fucking crabs on the on the shore of that like river surrounded by mountains and stuff oh it's so good. When he makes fucking crabs on the shore of that river surrounded by mountains and stuff. Oh, it's so pretty. He's having a beer. It's great. He makes that little butter base thing.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a cool dude. Yeah. Yeah. My Karen has a huge crush on him. How could you not?

I know. There was one where Brad... Fuck. I forget what he was making, but it involved... And a cool name, Brad Leon. Yeah. making but it involved um and a cool name brad leone yeah i i came up with my new uh this is like gonna be the pseudonym i use for like reservations and stuff because because i want to or like a hotel thing yeah this is what i call indian reservations trash how was your thanksgiving

i was like what no no no like when you put it in a name yeah yeah exactly a waste of money is what i know it's like let's watch brad alaska she's like what's brad alaska that's my new name brad alaska that is a good name brad alaska i think it's gonna be my my solo project too brad alaska all right so my mom anyway go ahead weeks months in advance oh wait sorry one more brad oh go ahead that's what i was gonna say they were making like pina coladas and the the uh producer was like brad uh what's your favorite song about pina coladas because you know the huge famous yeah like if you like p yeah just looks and he goes i don't know any songs about pina coladas like rolls his eyes like what an idiot and he's like anyway yeah how do you not know that song he's like i don't know i do remember that gabby is my crush though i love gabby gabby rules gabby's

cute she responded to one of my i tagged her in one of my stories and she responded with a heart and i was like god what are we like best friends they're like celebrities now yeah yeah they're cute all right so my mom's months in advance my mom called me six times to remind me what i'm making i'm like yeah bitch i'm making three things i got it so then i'm sure she appreciated that yeah a week before she calls me and oh and then you my brother you can call me mrs bitch usually my brother makes like the turkey he's the last few years he's made turkey and a couple of other things but he was like i'm only he was like i'm only making mac and cheese and his mac and cheese is a hit here's the thing does rahil have to try to be so black i know well his black girlfriend introduced mac

and cheese to our family on thanksgiving and we use her recipe and we have not never had it since yeah it's amazing yeah yeah never not had it never not had it yeah yeah yeah and it's really fucking good some people say mac and cheese my highlight of thanksgiving really oh some people think mac and cheese is a little weird at thanksgiving white people do yes yeah yeah but it's a southern thing not just a black thing right right yeah i think it's great i mean mac and cheese with anything baked mac and cheese forget it dude when you go to like uh the blue pit the barbecue joint yeah never not also get also when you have the tray of macaroni and you take that foil top off wow that smell the steam it's great yeah incredible my mom's calling

me so like three weeks she's like all right's going to be 20 people there. That is so many people to cook for. Too many, yeah. Too many. So 20 people, you have to double every recipe. Now you're doing like a catering gig, essentially. So, dude, I had to cook stuffing for 20 people. I cook stuffing from scratch. Oh, I will say Karen's family, the night before they do a lot of prep.

So we went over there on the Wednesday and we helped make. That's the smart person thing to do. We made stuffing and like a few other things as well. So it was like helping to prep. Smart way to do it. Yeah. And stuffing is weirdly a lot of work. Yeah.

Yeah. And to make sure like the moisture to dryness ratio is good as well. Yes. Because you want it to be a little moist because you're going to put it in the oven the next day. It's going to dry out. Mine was great. Mine and stuffing turned out probably the best one I've ever made. But I had to buy three huge loaves of sourdough bread.

I had to double everything because I'm making for 20 people. Dude, I use four sticks of butter. I mean, it was like, it was so much work. Just massive, yeah. It took, I'm also like, I'm weird. I'm OCD. So I have to make one thing. Then I make the other thing.

Yeah, you can't cook. I don't multi. Yeah, not multitask. Dude, I spent my whole day cooking. Yeah. I don't even know why. But then I was like cleaning because I'm crazy. So I clean, then I cook something else.

Then I clean, then I cook something else. Yeah. Because I don't want to why, but then I was like cleaning because I'm crazy, so I clean, then I cook something else, then I clean, then I cook something else. Yeah. Because I don't want to clean a bunch at once. Yeah, like a huge, massive mess. Yeah. Yeah, you should kind of clean as you go. That's good. You got to keep your station clean.

Yeah, and it was cool because Karen had the day. She had to work that day, so I was kind of like left alone, which was nice, but I'm an asshole. Sure. My mom calls me a week ahead like you go did you buy this stuff yet i'm like i'll fucking buy the stuff mom hey listen here bitch and she's like okay i love you so then like uh yeah i buy the stuff i had to go make another trip that morning it was a whole thing yeah but so i make the food we don't get my parents call me like what time are you coming

i was like what time are you guys pulling out the turkey? They said 5.30. I was like, okay, we'll be there. Who's making the turkey now? My parents, which I was very nervous. That's a gamble right there. They overcook everything. My parents will overcook just to be like, be safe.

Let's just be safe. They used to overcook chicken by at least 25 minutes. Whoa. That's like a brick dude it's crazy i recently got a meat thermometer for cooking yeah i have meat thermometer that's it's changing the game it really is as far as like the moistness of chicken too because you're like okay i'm gonna cook it to a certain temp let it sit one thing you just never know when to pull it right right so i actually had a debate with my dad too it's like yeah i got a meat thermometer he's like oh

yeah for chicken it's great i was like right yeah it's nice to get it at a good temp he's like yeah 185 and i was like no 165 and he's like no 185 i was like no 165 did you google it yeah 185 is for an entire bird yeah 165 is like a piece of chicken oh interesting like a breast yeah so like if you're if you're like yeah if you're cooking up like thighs or something like that yeah so turkey turned out great but so we spent all this day cooking my mom wanted karen to make two cheesecakes because it's gonna be 20 people there so we show up ah there's like 12 people there so i had a whole i made two different trays i had two trays of uh yeah

again you're catering and i had like 10 pounds of mashed potatoes yeah dude one of my trays of uh stuffing was never touched rahul made two of those like extra long tin foil like for you know like yeah like yeah band dishes of mac and cheese. Right. One never got touched. When I came, my mom made two trays, like, of the extra, extra long green bean casserole. Two. That's enough for a hundred people.

Yeah. That's like. She made two of them. That's like if you're on a cruise or something. She bought four pumpkin pies. Yeah. And made two pumpkin bread loaves what happened to these eight people i mean that's just no show they just decided they're not gonna come huh and these are family yeah but it's you know pakistani people they're like ah fuck it's thanksgiving who cares yeah this isn't really our thing so let's get a can

of chickpeas karen's cheesecake did not get finished. Thank God. She only made one. Karen's like, I'm not making two cheesecakes. I was like, that's fine. Yeah, good for her. And yeah, it was just so frustrating. I was like, God, I could have spent half the day cooking if it wasn't for this fucking.

So did you take the stuffing home? Oh, yeah. We had leftover cheesecakes. It's probably still in your fridge, right? No, I was a bad boy. Oh, you went through it. Oh, dude, I would come home. I had leftovers for days. It's probably still in your fridge, right? No. I was a bad boy. Oh, you went through it. Oh, dude. I would come home.

I would have good times. I would literally just pull out. Oh. I would pull out the 11 by 9 tray or whatever it is, eat it cold in my lap while I'm watching Bon Appetit. Just like... Yeah. No, I did that too because I had the gigs in Lorton the Friday after.

And so, of course, we took food to go from my aunt and uncle's house. Yeah. The food was so. I mean, the turkey was so fucking good. Turkey was good. My aunt always makes twice baked potatoes, which are incredible. Love a twice baked. Some people like that over mashed.

Hmm. I like mashed. Oh, okay. I thought you meant like over mashed potatoes oh yeah no yeah i think uh i like mashed potato better but this i only have once a year so it's like very nice and the way she does it's like kind of mashed on the inside and like mixes in like crust like that yeah it's really nice it's like i think there's like horse radish in there too it's really good and then there's butternut squash and there's green beans and they got green beans interesting yeah some people do like brussels sprouts it might have been asparagus oh okay that's what we brought we did a friends giving and karen made brussels sprouts yeah i've

never uh done brussels sprouts i think they're okay brussels sprouts isn't like a side where i'm like fuck yeah i make them pretty good listen they were good but i i don't think again okay now you're just saying no no you're just saying in a in a skillet i understand but what you're saying is do you like bacon no no no i'd like bacon brussels sprouts hot honey okay so what you're saying this is like being like it's not healthy you're like hey that dude's ripped he's on steroids yeah yeah right brussels sprouts when you work with honey and bacon yeah that's pretty good it's pretty good yeah like if you had lettuce with honey and bacon yeah it's pretty good yeah that's true yeah i bet that's pretty good

hey what are you gonna do we're not perfect what are. Hey, what are you going to do? We're not perfect. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? But yeah, no, Karen made it. It was pretty good. It was like kind of sweet and a little spicy too, which was nice. But no, I was able to take those leftovers home. And then at the gig in Lorton, they got us one of those pre-bought, pre-made trays of crackers and ham and cheese and stuff.

Because you were with? Jenny Zagrino. Oh, we both had shows i forgot yeah talk about that yeah yeah yeah we were busy boys i forgot uh made some good money that weekend that's all yeah you did too yeah me too now ramin was uh very sweet he's uh he's insane about how he likes his stage set up but yeah but that but i think that is why I am too. Dude, that's why I set up my show alone because I realized that I didn't mean to, but I think I was being like a dick

when I was talking to people, like telling them what to do. Yeah. And I was like, I'm just going to set this up myself. Well, me and Ramin had that too. It was so funny. It was like, all right, I'm going to give you this stuff. So we did Lorton, Virginia.

And so that's at the old jail. So that's a theater that's already set up. So you't really have to do it's an old jail but they turn it into like uh art and theater space like it's like their creed of alliance type yeah so there's like art galleries and there's theaters it's it's very really cool it's very cool so where we were like a lot of the work is already done ramin helps set up the stage a little bit to be specific how he likes it, but there's already lights and there's already a sound system and stuff. So the next night is in Fredericksburg

and then you have to set up the stage. You got to set up the backdrop. Oh, dude, with traffic too. It was... People are going home. It was bananas. Yeah, Friday, no traffic. Saturday, so much traffic.

Because you have to drive through dc yeah pretty much that 95 corridor where you're passing dc yeah it wasn't it wasn't too bad and the shows were so it was me lafayette right and jenny and that was just like such a good group i was agreeing sorry yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a good hang yeah and then so and then tim miller's girlfriend uh megan have you met her yeah she's amazing so she offered wanted to help she helped yeah so like so the first night she was there she was a really big house she did like tickets and the second night she helped with like stage setup so we had to set up lights and blah blah and like curtains she was ramin was like dude she wanted to do it for free yeah like he had he was like she wouldn't take money i was there he's like please take this check um and she did but yeah she was so helpful but ramin so in between the shows in lorton ramin's like let me give you all the stuff for tomorrow and i'll tell you how it

works and blah blah and then so we're outside and he's like okay so this is the curtain i really want it like this and the way that i like to have it is so the white curtains here. Here, I'll show you a picture. This is what I like. And then with the lights and I'm like, all right, it's like a little cold. Like, what are we doing? And then also I'm like, hey, man, the show starts in like five minutes. And he's like, hey, can you just be a fucking professional?

I'm trying to show you. I'm like, I'm trying to be a professional. Start the show, you psycho. Were you hosting? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I was hosting and then setting stuff up.

Not a great feeling to do both. I got to say, it was pretty nice. Because it was like once... The big deal was like getting there, I was late. And then there's like this big platforms where you're setting up the lights to put on the thing. And then like you have to screw that in. And Rami's like, do you have a wrench? Make sure you bring a wrench.

Did not bring a wrench. Totally forgot. But luckily, I was able to like twist it on there and then he had two other lights that you're setting up on the side and then the lights were different colors and it was like a weird code on the back that you had to put in to make one blue and one what yeah it was like a whole thing and it was like everything was set up and then so by the time the show started i was like hey here's my bullshit blah blah blah like the set went really well and i was like all right yeah i'm essentially done it was great it was very nice nice man um but yeah no it was just very funny to and then so at lorton they had they got food for us and they got a tray

of like crackers and cheese and meats and we didn't eat any of it and they're like uh do you want it because we're just gonna throw it away and i was like you bet i'll take it so i took that home then i ate all my my Thanksgiving leftovers and that shit. Damn. And I was like, Karen, this is really good. She's like, this is just bullshit store-bought like Hormel ham. And I was like, but it's good ham. Yeah.

It's funny because now that I'm spoiled and like I live with Evan, who did charcuterie very well. When he makes a charcuterie, Evan spends like maybe $80 to $90. Yeah. He'll post those on his Instagram and it's like a lot of like fatty good meats though. Like you see like salamis. And it's actually like if you just like I was on a charcuterie kick for a while. 10 bucks.

You can get a lot of meat. Pretty decent price. Yeah. Like slice it up. Get a quarter pound of this and that and uh but uh anyway so yeah like i was at a holiday party and someone brought a charcuterie thing but it was like all that store bought yeah this is what is this safe this is trash what the fuck is this and you're like oh they sound like most people would probably do it totally but yeah when i came home and i was like on a little good times as well too i was like

let's keep this rolling. Yeah. Oh, it's the worst. It was just Thanksgiving leftovers with that. So good. Yeah. So I had my buddy Stav, our buddy Stavros Halakias of Comptown fame. Yeah.

He wanted to do a weekend of shows for Thanksgiving. Because he's back in town. He's in town for fam. Yeah. a weekend of shows for thanksgiving because he's back in town he's in town for fam yeah and uh so he did shows at joe squared and uh it was he did uh he did two shows we wanted to do four but we did two and both of them sold out they were like the first show we had too many people like it was probably like 110 people jesus which is like uh if there's a fire in that basement yeah more than half of us would have died 100 i would have gotten out so quick i would have fucking just ran trampled

people yeah yeah but uh i yeah it was scary because at first it's like the 20 tickets which for baltimore is a lot yeah but he does have his own fan base. Yeah. But, like, three days prior, the sales were not great. And I was, like, freaking out in my head. I was just like, oh, fuck, this is going to suck. I feel bad, like, to make people work on, like, a Thanksgiving weekend. They're not going to make money. But then the first show sold, like, sold out, like, the day before. I think that's also a small town thing of, like, I'll get tickets. I'll sold out the day before. I think that's also a small town thing of like, I'll get tickets.

I'll get tickets the day before. It's not going to sell out. I got it. And so that was cool. And then the Friday show was amazing. The crowd, the energy was fire. And it's so nice because whenever I do gin and jokes like i can't do my joke jokes so i'm going in like i'm going in with new jokes when i do gin and jokes and i'm just trying i just have to hope

they work out hope yeah mixing something from the crowd mixing some crowd work yeah and uh but it's been harder and harder to do crowd work because it's like the same people so even people i don't know like as like i would say most of the audience I don't know, like, as a friend. But now because they come so much, like. Yeah, they're regulars. Considering them regulars or acquaintances. Yeah. I can't do crowd work with them.

Right. It feels fake. Yeah, like, hey, what's your first name? Brad? Yeah. You fucking idiot. It feels fake. And then, so, but this was amazing because i just got to go up dude i fucking

killed killed the first show like the fat friday show great crowd work there was like so come people don't know like stavros does this podcast called come town which is very like most come town fans are like weird loners loners but they're also all just like i would say no let's most probably like normal comedy nerds but then there is like a big segment right of their fans that are like these weird white dude loners who are like someone described them the best they called them beta males who are keyboard warriors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like online, you know, they talk so much shit. Online, they're an alpha.

Their alpha is online. Yeah, like online, they're like... Want to be alpha, yeah. They have so much opinions on comedy and who's good, who's bad. Of course you would think that, you fucking idiot. But so I was warning the staff and I was like, guys, just FYI, some of these people might be really weird uh just to let you know i gave an example like the first time staff did a thanksgiving weekend after getting some fame from come town we did we did shows at the sidebar and we borrowed chairs from joe squared

which is really frustrating i was like why didn't we just do this show at joe squared yeah yeah like what are we what are we doing? Second time around, it was at Joe's Square. Yeah. So we borrowed chairs from Joe's Square, put them all in Stav's car and my car, drove them to Sidebar, then set up the chair. So we get there like two hours early to set up.

There were two fans from the podcast who drove down from Philly who had been there for hours and they're hammered and one girl is puking all over the bathroom and the guy is hammered he wants to help us set up and stav's like no man no we're good we're good dude we're like so we're pulling chairs out and he's trying to grab chairs out of stav's hand what the fuck he's hammered he falls down and we're just like and then so i was like stop dude if he wants it just fucking let him it's better than you fighting him

and him stumbling right so i was just like warning joe squared but luckily it was all pretty cool like it was fine yeah but the one funny thing is these come town fans it's the frustrating part about them is is like like like uh one time like I had a video of mine that ended up on their subreddit. And they're like, look at this guy. He's everything that's wrong with comedy. He's stealing jokes from Louis C.K. He's not white. He's not white.

No. But he, oh, he dresses. Look at it. He's dressed poorly. Blah, blah, blah. Like, oh, another hoodie comedian. Also, have you seen the way Stav dresses? Are you kidding?

Yeah, exactly. And Nick. And what? I know. But then they come to shows. They're pussies, dude. You try to talk to them. You do crowd work.

They shut down. They're like, oh, don't talk to me. They literally act like just like. like it was it's correct because i tried to do like a nervous kid they're so they're such pussies right it's like oh you guys all are like some like i don't want to say on the spectrum but you guys are like we like you're just well yeah well awkward dude what is the thing it's like it's very easy to talk trash and be confident when no one else is around yeah and you don't have to make eye contact yeah and yeah so it's like yeah and so i'm trying to i'm trashing them and it's you can tell like some of them hate it

yeah and uh but so i looked in the audience they're like oh i can't wait to get online later and make fun of this guy i know yeah do you wait till i get online he's gonna regret saying this bathroom and hop on the wi-fi yeah so i kept making like incel jokes and stuff it was great but uh so i looked at the audience and there was two there's this old couple there i was like what the fuck and they weren't so i asked his brother nick and i was like dude are they family he's like i've never seen them i was like are they greek he's like no they're not greek and uh i was like damn weird so i i was fucking with i was like i was like ma'am i had i was like damn weird so i i was fucking with i was like i was like ma'am i had i was like how are you i was like ma'am are you a cum girl and like i got

like a laugh and then i was like how did i was like i was like what i was like are you guys come down fed like uh like oh my son brought me i was like what i was like where's your son he's like right and so then i was like i was like i was like let me ask you a question i was like do you eat ass or something i was just like dumb and i just kept going and going she has a lot of trust in her son and then and then i was like i was like man what how did your son pitch this show to you right so i'm i just got done doing all these ass eating jokes and then i asked like his dad if he eats his mom's ass right and it's killing yeah and then uh um and his mom was like he said that it uh would be like an intellectually stimulating show wow what a way to put it what a way to put it yeah sure yeah and then uh dude and then stav

goes on oh and then uh pete muth is on he kills i love pete stav goes on. Oh, and then Pete Muth is on. He kills. I love Pete. Stav goes on stage. Dude, Stav is so much. I mean, he was always good. Yeah. He's so much better. Well, he tours nonstop. Yeah, he's so good.

His crowd work, his jokes. He has like his whole hour. He connected all his bits. They flow so well. Like, it's very good. Very impressive. Yeah, yeah i mean like you said stav's always been good and if you're going on the road and headlining and doing i mean he's out what like two to three weeks on average a month yeah um so he's killing it so it makes sense yeah

it was really impressive yeah that's great saturday show was uh sold out uh just the energy was off they weren't really really into it the show it was interesting weird yeah it was it was weird yeah for us friday was a lot of fun i always think like the day after things the night before and the day the night before is like a little more rowdy because you're like yeah like we don't have to work tomorrow it's thanksgiving and then the day after it's like i'm hungover but i don't have anything to tomorrow. It's Thanksgiving. And then the day after, it's like, ah, I'm hungover, but I don't have anything to do today. There's leftovers. A lot of people do work on Black Friday. That's crazy to me.

Doesn't that suck? That's crazy. But you take PTO, right? I think it worked out where I had, I think I ended up having off, I think, just for my schedule, because I'm off every other Friday. Well, that's lucky. But either way, even if i don't i do take off i'm like there's no fucking way well yeah well so before i start working for schools i worked on black fridays because i didn't want to use a vacation day yeah and uh but now it's i'm

gonna do that with the day after christmas but i work from home and i looked at the schedule like every other person is off that day so i'm like it's gonna be a pretty slack day yeah yeah that thursday i don't think a lot dude i have 11 days off that's great so sick oh for the whole christmas break yeah yeah yeah very nice it's amazing um but yeah speaking of like drunk guys on friday night in lorton uh when we were backstage and the green room door opens and it's just this visibly like hammered dude and he opens the door and he's like oh this ain't the bathroom you guys are great though all right like at least he's nice yeah it was very nice but like you could see it was just weird for a second i was like what is happening here because he was like uh uh jenny was really

cool too she was oh my god so great i was really drunk and i was texting her i was like josh gadern is gay what did she say she said no no she was so funny because she was just so open about like uh bumble and everything she's like i must have swiped on every single person in oh yeah in lorton and then also in she's like a dude that way she's like a comic have swiped on every single person in oh yeah in lorton and then also in she's like a dude that way she's like a comic who wants to go out and get laid yeah she had and she's like yeah in uh in fredericksburg she's like i swiped on everybody here too and i don't know what the deal is but nobody's responding but she did have a guy show up for the second show did she go home with him i mean she probably went back to the hotel. Because that was a cool thing, too,

is you have a room in the hotel where you perform. Yeah, that is cool. For that show. But yeah, she had a guy show up, and I was like, hey, good for you. After the show, though, so she lives in LA. I got some friends in LA. No big deal.

But my friend Larry, he hit me up, because I put her in my story. Oh, what is that, a napkin? Dried mango. I forgot i put her in my story oh got a what is that a napkin dried mango i forgot i put it my because we were heading out i put dried mango in my hoodie pocket i wanted to eat it could you not be an immigrant for like 10 seconds just you don't eat dried mango you're just casually pulling dried mango out of your pocket like it's like it's not garbage what are you doing it's so good it is good um My friend Larry, he hit me up. He responded to my story.

He was like, oh, I love her. I was like, yeah, dude, she's so funny. He was like, yeah, I actually went on a Tinder date with her. I was like, really? How'd it go? And he's like, not good. I talked about Limp Bizkit too much, and I think I fucked it up. Aw.

Dude, so this is another small world story. I worked with Jenny Zagrino maybe like three years ago. I was featuring for her at the Drafthouse. And then my friend Natasha was a school psychologist here. She moved to LA to be a psychologist.

Jewish and Zagrino Jewish. So she was at some like synagogue event where Jenny was like doing some like i guess she was like a guest there to speak on something maybe did stand up or right or it was a stand-up show or something it was like a symposium on how christian blood is delicious and then so because like she's jewish my friend natasha and really enjoyed her went to talk to her like oh i have a friend in baltimore he does comedy i don't know you probably don't know him his name is umar she's like no i know umar i was like great it's like yeah we're like we like every now and then we'll like exchange like a message or

something yeah but it's like oh how crazy is it like that's great too yeah that's and you're memorable too where it's great it's like you don't meet a lot of umars in baltimore right comedy yeah exactly yeah that's awesome that's cool yeah she was really funny she's a great so nice yeah yeah she hit me up before the show she was like hey i have a room if you need to leave any stuff in my room before the show it's like oh thank you though yeah it was cool yeah and then hanging with lafayette who i love he's such a sweetheart he's great he's so good but yeah the show this the shows on saturday the crowd was definitely a little older for sure. Yeah, that's tough. Fredericksburg's tough.

They were cool. Everybody had fun, though. Yeah. It was really good. Lafayette, he was trying to make fun of them. Basically, he's trying to be like, all right, so what is Fredericksburg? Trying to figure it out via the South and the North. And was making fun of the South. And this one woman, she was like, oh, we're Yankees. she was like oh we're yankees he was like yankees what what are where you from she's like chicago he's like that's not

new york new york has yankees and i'm gonna be like lafayette that's not what yankee oh lafayette's kind of dumb in that way yeah yeah yeah but it was very i mean he made it funny but it was still great it was so did he kill yeah of course yeah that's awesome and now he's selling merch too which is fun what's he selling he has a t-shirt because he has uh he has a bit about smoky the bear but he has he's selling a shirt with smoky the bear's face on it says like don't start no stuff won't be no stuff did people buy it that weekend yeah 20 bucks a shirt dude i need to i think i'm gonna get a shirt for st louis i need to get another shirt you gotta i think I'm going to get a shirt for St. Louis. I need to get another shirt. I think I'm going to do Eat Ass Help Kids.

Yeah, you got to have a bit where it's independent of you. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Because they don't want to rep you. No. They want to rep whatever bit that's a slogan. Chris Allen made Live Free or Die Hard, like the comedy shirt don't tread on comedy shirt yeah yeah you sold like 500 in shirts in a weekend before yeah so i mean if you sell them for 20 bucks a pop like and you're probably getting all the shirts for like 100 bucks maybe like crazy order

when i got maybe a little more i got i got like two dozen shirts it was like 250 bucks yeah okay that's it yeah it is it is more but yeah if you buy i did screen print i went higher I got like two dozen shirts. It was like $250. Yeah, okay. That's it. Yeah, it is more. But yeah, if you buy... But I did screen print. I went higher quality. That's nice, though.

So I might not have to. Yeah, no. Lafayettes are nice. They're on Gildan shirts. I got one. Mine were on Good Shirt. There you go. Just Nolan set it up and he's a snob.

Yeah, nobody likes Gildan. I like Gildan, though. No, I'm not a Gildan. You left a Gildan shirt at my house. All right. Yeah, I don't know why. I believe it. See, I don't mind a Gildan i like no i'm not a gildan you left a gildan shirt at my house uh all right yeah i don't know i believe it yeah i don't see i don't mind a gildan shirt yeah people like they don't fit nice i think they've been pretty nice it'll fit me nice they fit me nice i would say before i wash and dry them a few times like a gildan small before i wash or dry it oh perfect fit i know isn't that a bummer yeah when something fits like i had this i bought a shirt

in mexico that i loved yeah after i wash it just i can't wear it anymore it's a little too small but if you buy a medium you can't even shrink it to where you need it too big i gotta sleep in it at night like guys we're in betweeners help us out please i tell you please we're mediums yeah a little bit of a medium no yeah it's just like do you want to do merch do you want to carry it around you want to be that guy but it's like money on the table you're leaving so why not yeah lafayette essentially just had like um like a carry-on bag like just full of shirts um it was funny too because so his whole bit is basically like making fun of uh smoky the bear and being like he's like hey prevent forest fires you're not a good guy smoky you bear and being like he's like hey prevent forest fire

you're not a good guy smoky you're a bear i know you got bodies okay and like i think in the bit he says like don't start no shit won't be no shit but on the shirt it says don't start no stuff won't be no stuff and there were so many women like middle-aged white women just like how come it doesn't say shit i want it to say shit and then you have the people too like the drunk wife's like oh honey let's get a shirt and the guy's like do we really need a shirt dude i think uh yeah i gotta i can't do the eat ass help kids but sure you can when i do that people laugh a lot yeah i think that's you you just need like a slogan or something that it's like people no like, yeah. No, because most people won't buy that. Not a slogan, but I mean something like that where it's.

No, I just can't have eat ass on a shirt. Sure you can. I don't know. Who would buy that? Drunk people that are like, yeah. And even then, like they don't have to wear it out. They could wear it at home. Like it doesn't, you know, like mostly people are, I think you're just catching them in

the afterglow of a show where like that was so fun i want to have something to remember that yeah i gotta think of something for my for my that's not like super specific but something i mentioned i mean the ass thing too you might be able to block it out too with like an asterisk or something or you know like a asterisk asterisk you know i'm saying true yeah you I'm saying? True. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Help kids eat. You can have a donkey. No, that's kind of cheesy. Yeah.

But again, cheesy kind of sells. Yeah, people don't care. See, it is weird with comedy, too. Then, essentially, you're like a t-shirt salesman. I know. It's so stupid. Mark Norman tries to sell shirts that just say comedy. Comedy.

Comedy. And people buy it. Well, that's what I'm saying. They're mostly just buying a memento. stupid mark mark norman tries to sell shirts that just say comedy and people comedy comedy and people buy it well that's what i'm saying they're mostly just buying a memento it doesn't mean that they like the shirt personally they just had such a good time that they're like i want something to like remind me of this i'm in the works of doing a gin and joke shirt i think you should which we should have done years ago yeah but we already have a cool design from a flyer that nolan made so we're just gonna turn that into a shirt. Yeah. Why not?

Yeah. I worked with one dude that was like really like probably the hackiest guy I've ever worked with before at the Harrisburg Comedy Zone. And he was just selling shirts that had nothing to do with his act. What's his name? I have no idea. Some white ball. I knew I was in trouble when I was like, what are your credits? And he was like, I work carnival cruise ships. And I was like, what are your credits? And he was like,

I work carnival cruise ships. And I was like, Oh boy, I know who you're talking about. Chris worked with this guy. Does he sell cigarettes also? I don't remember cigarettes. So when he goes on these carnival cruise ships,

does he talk about fucking chicks a lot? No, no. It's like an older white guy. Definitely an older white guy, but I know who it is. His closer was Seinfeld. Like he does all the characters of Seinfeld. Wow. no it's like an older white guy definitely an older white guy but yeah i know who it is his closer was seinfeld like he does all the characters of seinfeld wow it was really dated stuff he even

has like a button that goes it's like something you get from uh like spencer's gifts you know like those wacky things it was a big red button if you hit it it goes that's stupid uh yeah so like if he had a bit that didn't work he pressed that into the mic and that also didn't get a laugh because the crowd's like yeah we know it was stupid we didn't like god um but the shirt the the shirt that he sold after was it was like two lines of text but you couldn't really read what it said so it was like a line of text up top horizontally then two dots and then a line of text but if you connect the dots it says like fuck you or something like that so it's like fuck you that's like split in half essentially and you can't really kind of read it at first so if you bend the shirt then it says it so it's like

he's like yeah if anybody's ever given you trouble all you can do is say hey pal connect the dots and i'm like that doesn't have you're just like a t-shirt salesman now that has nothing to do with your act comedy is so stupid sometimes really bad so this guy i think it's the same guy i feel like it's just this i feel like a cruise ship comic is just a similar yeah because uh chris was working with a guy uh up in upstate new york he was the headliner chris was featuring and the guy like he goes on all these carnival cruises and he's kind of like jacked this guy was not okay so he was like um he's like just bragging about all these chicks he fucks yeah and then uh he was like showing chris of pictures of all the chicks

he fucked and like videos and chris is like videos yeah he's like all right man and then on these cruise ships you can buy like because i guess when you're out in the sea uh what is that called there's no like maritime law yeah so he they sell like cartons of cigarettes so he buys all these cartons of cigarettes and then sells them at the show. Now you're just a cigarette salesman. But that's also mad illegal. You can't sell cartons of cigarettes like that. Oh, sure, sure.

Isn't that nuts? Like you're selling cartons of cigarettes? Yeah. And people are so addicted. They're like, fuck, good deal. Yeah, you're at sea and you're addicted to something you're like yeah i have no other place to get these yeah or i could maybe they can buy a pack no he said he brings them back sell some at clubs in the states are you serious way cheaper oh okay i got you i got buys them on the cruise for like pretty good

price oh and then sells them so they probably land somewhere it's like some island or something where yeah cigarette where cigarettes are cheap buys a bunch and then brings them back exactly that's wild wild yeah like who wants to live like that that's don't know completely insane like that that has nothing to do with your comedy either. You're just selling cigarettes now. Crazy. Yeah. Miss me with that. But yeah, Jenny, she was selling her album, which was cool.

She had a nice vinyl, which was nice. She's super good, man. Dude, yeah. She was great. Yeah, the whole weekend was so fun. It was fucking great, man. Nice. It was a good time.

And then what did I do? I feel like I've done some other shit since then. I know. Me too. I can't remember. Yeah. I did a show in D.C., did like a talk show thing. I don't know.

Some other stuff. I'm going to D.C. tonight. You did D.C. last night. Oh, yeah. That was great. Oh, I had this one little funny thing uh i did a show on tuesday it was like a bar show the tuesday after thanksgiving or december 3rd whatever it doesn't matter but yeah it was like a bar show in fed hill uh and i don't know like i just don't like

doing bar shows anymore but this guy was really nice and he's like we can't pay you but we'll give you free drinks and free food. I was like, all right, fuck it. And I felt bad because he asked me in a way. He's like, I know you probably won't want it. And I was like, I don't want people to think I won't do stuff because I want to do spots in town. And if there's spots in town, I'll do them. Well, also, if you're doing a longer spot, too, it's like, well, fuck it.

I can work on some new shit. There's no stakes here. Well, it was really funny because I didn't want to go last because i'm not getting paid i'm not i'm doing 10 minutes yeah he told me i could do longer if i wanted i was like i don't need special treatment i'll do 10 minutes it's fine and so i go it's actually packed it's a pretty cool crowd like everyone's like there they want to be there right um so it's just but it's a bar bar so it's like a long bar on one side tables on the other side so people are you know it's not like a perfect setup so also yeah if somebody's like 10 feet down it's like tough for them to

hear it's yeah they're not gonna be engaged stay yeah people are doing fine eric glazer's on the show he had a great set uh and then uh ronald was on and i was right after him ronald's on stage and he's talking about like ebony porn he's like you guys know what it was a bunch of young white kids right out of college uh-huh and he's like you guys know what ebony porn is and no one's responding so this guy garrett he co-hosts the show he's a big black guy he yells out uh yeah it's n-word people and uh and the crowd was like what the fuck because no one knows who said it it's mostly white people so everyone thought a white person what if one of the college kids like oh n-word people yes we get it go ahead yeah yeah yeah and then so like we got it uncomfortable which is like a crazy thing because it's a good show. There's momentum.

Comics have been doing well. Why would you kill your own show's momentum? Right. And then Ronald is a black comic on stage, and he's like, what? Like someone yelled the end. He's like getting heated. You can tell. Because he doesn't know who said it. And he's like what like someone yelled the and he's like getting heated you can tell because he doesn't know who said it who said that garrett blames it on just some innocent white kid

he's like no i didn't say no and yeah and then so it's just like super uncomfortable so then i was like i was like no garrett said it he blamed it on this kid and like and ron was like oh thank god yeah because i was just like why like why why would you do that because now because well like now you're fucking up ronald set well also ronald is now emotionally fucking involved he's pissed off like yeah you should be where it's like whoa okay what do i gotta do here to handle this situation crazy yeah i was so mad but then i went up and i did fine it wasn't a show you could kill at uh-huh but i did well yeah it was cool because like afterwards uh there was like a handful of

black people black people there and they all came up to me afterwards like you were great i loved how you just said everything and called everyone out because i was roasting the shit out of people and it was it was fun yeah that's always the highest praise it is the highest praise black people enjoying your comedy is pretty fucking tight the best the best yeah just the the absolute best um yeah what a weird thing to do especially for like kind of an intimate show it bothered me i was very upset yeah because i'm like you know you gotta be and this is like a piece of it like i was listening to joe list who's a a really funny comic on a podcast and

they were like what's one advice you would give a younger comic and he's like besides just go do it yeah it's uh just be professional be easy yeah be professional so it's like you show up show up on time show up early don't drink don't get fucked up do jokes don't ruin don't do anything that ruins a show yeah be reliable and it's like yeah that's it that's all it takes like a lot of people always wonder they're like oh why can't i do this i can't get into this club and it's just like it really does and it's oh go ahead oh i was gonna say it just filters really down to like don't be an asshole like yeah an asshole would show up late an asshole would be rude there an asshole would uh make a big stink about the reason is and people like well what's it matter it's just a bar show whatever it's just like it's not like a

club and it's like well your peers are the ones that will recommend you for stuff they're also they're gonna book you yeah they also book you so like people have asked me about comics and i tell them i'm like they're funny but they're not reliable they don't show up on time yeah sometimes they might not show up nobody wants to worry about that stuff and it's like it's no one need and because that's what joe list said you have to realize no one needs you oh yeah yeah yeah no one fucking needs you right right it's yeah it's like uh fucking shark's teeth in that way it's like all right where's the next tooth like all right then this one fine it's like it's not like they're like god we really love x comedian it's like okay if

he's not available bring in y because somebody has to fill that slot yeah no one gives a shit yeah so yeah so i think like that yeah stuff like that really makes me mad yeah and it's uh it's a lot easier to like once somebody is dependable and you're like oh somebody fell out let me ask this person yeah who i know will do well that's going to be there on time and it's not going to be a mess and yeah yeah it was rough rough yeah i don't think i've had anything like that for a while i uh i did town tavern on thursday and jack kind of freaked out about comedians talking but i think it was because the show was fucked up like so where the show where the showroom is versus where the green room is there's just a curtain in the way and there's two speakers in the green room and then there

should be a speaker in the showroom but the showroom speaker was not on so all the sound was no right so if you're a comedian and you're just trying to be like hey man what's up it's like yeah so the other day i like the speaker is right there so comedians are like hey how are you jack's like shut the fuck up you guys are you really saying it like that oh yeah yeah yeah yeah he's out of control i mean i i get it it is annoying like we've all been there be like hey can you guys shut up but it's like no dude the speakers are fucked up here it is uh yeah uh i could well you know what i abuse my i yell at people all the time yeah i was gonna say yeah but now i i yeah i've had like a i've been lucky to

have like a good run of stuff i mean i have I have a show tonight at six. We'll see how that goes. Six? Yeah. Six? Excuse me? A little early, right? What? A little early.

Not so bad for the wintertime because it gets dark at like 430, but it's a little weird. It's weird. Well, come by and see Louie. I mean, it's all sold out now. Dude. Right? Just fucking. They might be weird about you just standing on the side i

don't know i i call uh i call andrew chief over there i think we got a pretty good relationship so text him yeah i'll hit him up ross asked me to do his podcast too so i might do that after the show but i can probably say that if you can see louis do not do the podcast listen bud i've seen louis a few times i'm already dude mean, getting to see Mamagoobies. Yeah, it's going to be pretty rad. I'm so pumped. I'm so pumped. I saw him the one night in the basement of Big Hunt.

Yeah, Chris was on that show. I didn't know that. Yeah, he hosted, right? Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that wild? Yeah. And then I think I saw him here in Baltimore, too.

Did we go to that one or no? You and I saw Bill Burr, right? We saw Burr and... Yes. Yeah. I've seen him in Baltimore several times. Louis? Yeah.

Yeah, I was going to say, I feel like you and I went, probably. I think we were at the same show. Yeah. We saw him a bunch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and then I got to see him, too, when Jamel got to open for Louis. I saw him there, too. That show was so good um but i think he did i go with you no because i went with alahe we were in like the third row it was crazy who did i go with i don't remember i don't remember but yeah

it was uh that hour ended up becoming his last hour i think um but yeah i just remember that show being so good and then once you saw this hour it was the one that was recorded at dar the uh constitutional hall or whatever i think you fucked it up it's one of those things where like comedians work at it so much that they just start like tinkering beyond what it needs to be it was good i re-watched it and i remember liking it more the second time around but you're right it. It wasn't as good as when we saw it live. In person, it was incredible. You're right.

The transgender thing. Really good. Do you remember that? Uh-huh. Oh, my God. And it's just such a good bit. You also cut out the naps or suicides you can take back line. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But the transgender thing was so funny because it's like, he's like, yeah, I remember this girl didn't want to dance with him. Is that what it was? Like he wanted to go to a dance with somebody and the girl didn't want to dance with him. Yeah. And then he's like, I want to look her up and see what she's doing. And so I looked her up on Facebook and now she's a guy. He's like, hey, you fucking asshole.

Why don't you just tell me? You made me feel bad. You should have just told me? You made me feel bad. You should have just told me you were a guy. He's like, it's a really shitty thing to do. He's like, I don't care. I heard on this tour he's doing right now, he pushes the boundaries even further. What else are you going to do?

And it's like, hell yeah, dude. And it's also like, why? I don't know. I still do think what he did was shitty, like an asshole. But yeah, of course. He's lost hundreds of millions of dollars. But aside from that, I think he knew he was being a bad person. Yeah.

I think he was trying to work through it too on his show. He was trying to apologize. Because you remember in the article it said he was calling up women and apologizing, but he called the wrong person. I mean, that just shows what... How many women... And how fucked up you've been to be like, hey, I'm sorry I pushed you in a bathroom. She's like, you never did that. He's like, right. I've never done that to anybody.

I don't know. Yeah. So, yeah, I think... Yeah. So, you're seeing him tonight. Yeah. 7.30, dude. And they're going to let us in early.

I'm pumped. I talked to the manager who's on the show is it just him kevin brennan interesting he seems like a dickhead he is he does he really i heard if you know him he's nice but he definitely seems like a dickhead online and then um i heard he's very funny i don't know i've never seen his act yeah me and then um apparently some guy from minneapolis matt brown was supposed to open but he got bumped for because louis wanted to bring his own people i believe that yeah if i was louis too i'd be like i'm gonna take control of everything from here on out you know well our

buddies got to open for him who i mean oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah in virginia did he feature or host uh it might have just been like a two-man thing maybe just did some time up front i don't know yeah that's crazy yeah rob mayor did too i think yeah yeah virginia beach funny bone yeah i think so yeah crazy i'm pretty wild pretty i would love to pretty wild all right all right all right kids let's uh in text at least my house isn't burned down. Yeah, you all right? What's going on over there? Yeah, let's see. What do I got here? I will be...

I'm going to be busy this upcoming week. I got couples therapy with the aforementioned Rami and Mastiff Favi at the DC Improv Lounge on Thursday the 19th. And then I'll be in the lounge as well for four shows, two on Friday, two on Saturday on the 20th and the 21st. And yeah, that's all I want to plug for right now. Cool. I don't know what I'm on.

I can't. I didn't think of anything. But I do have shows. Oh, I'm headlining two shows next week. There you go. December 18th. I'm headlining a benefit show at the DC Comedy Loft. It's something for food pantries and schools.

I don't know what it's called. I'll post about it. And December 19th, I'm headlining a show in Bel Air. Perry Hall? I'll post about that, too. Okay. Pretty close to Pennsylvania. Either way. so that's you

know money and uh and you know fun and uh jenna jokes i think we're gonna try to do one on january 2nd so do it please come for the love of god for the love of god all right uh yeah follow us on instagram and twitter i'm at josh kaderna on there. Umar, what's yours? I am Umar Khan, 821 on Instagram. I don't tweet, so who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Graham's a good one.

Graham's is fun. Yeah, thank you guys for listening, and we'll talk to you soon. David Koechner, take us out. Dick Russian Sessions, coming to an end. Thank you. Bye.