The Digression Sessions - Ep. 312 - Corn Teens

Episode Date: April 7, 2020

Hola Digheads, on this week's episode, Josh and Umar catch up on the Corona and their Quarantine lives. We did this over Zoom and Umar's mic cut out for the last 5 mins or so, but we'll figure it out next time. Or not. The world is ending. But sorry if they audio is weird. We'll fix it next time! Follow the podcast and Josh Kuderna, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Laughable, Stitcher, & Spotify plz!

all right hey guys we uh me and umar um we are back uh there's a little bit of a delay uh we both just been super busy um there's not like There's not a global pandemic or anything. So we decided to, we went down to Cabo for a while. We were partying. And now we're in the same room after getting brunch with 50 of our closest friends. And we decided to catch up and do a little podcast. Oh, yeah. I am tired of socializing.

I know. It's like, I wish I could just of socializing. I know. It's like, I wish I could just take a break. You know, like, I just want to stay home for, I don't know, three weeks to indefinite weeks. I know, dude. Indefinite forever. So pumped. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What a time to be alive. Yeah. Right? Yeah. For those that are still alive. Woo. We're doing it. You know, what's going on quarantine-erinos. Yeah. We've been living in quarantine, you know? Yeah. It hasn't been bad. Like I, okay. So I did a show the night before. Last night. Huh?

I said last night. Yeah. I did a show last night. No, I did a show. I was in Arlington the night before Governor Larry Hogan made the announcement that schools are going to close and that he were going to start putting social distancing in place. But I started getting wind of the fact that like schools might close that day and i was just like i was like fuck man i think like shit is gonna get serious real quick so i'm in arlington by the way pack show and everyone we're just telling corona jokes the whole time everyone is dying laughing at corona jokes and i'm like okay let's let's not use the

word dying. Yeah. They were having fun. No, they're, yeah. Dude, I did a show the night before everything got shut down and I killed with Corona virus jokes. I mean, yeah. Anytime you play a Corona joke...

Like, I'm very spitty on stage. I accidentally spit on a girl and I was like, yeah, you got Corona, you're gonna die. And like, people thought that was so funny. Like, it was hilarious.

And then, dude, oh, and then the week before that, I did Gin and Jokes. And we had, it was sold out. And, like, an hour before the show started, Larry Hogan. I don't know why I keep saying Larry Hogan. Larry Hogan. My boy, Larry. It's like you're shitting on him for keep saying Larry Hogan. Larry Hogan. My boy Larry. It's like you're shitting on him for not being Hulk Hogan. Yeah, yeah.

You're like, you know, Larry. Yeah. Hogan had a press conference that three people in Maryland had corona. And I made a joke, and we all thought that was hilarious. You know, we're just making jokes about it. Yeah, I did the same thing at the old prison show in Virginia. Where is that again? My mind is...

Workhorse? Yeah, yeah. And I was like, man, it's nice to do comedy in a prison. You guys don't give a fuck. Corona, let it kill us all. And they're like, yeah! Woo! Yeah, so...

Oh, man. So, yeah, so that night, so. Oh, man. So, yeah, so that night, I'm like, fuck, dude. We don't, me and Karen have no groceries. And I'm thinking about my parents. I was like, fuck, they're diabetic. I'm texting with all my coworkers. I was like, and I sounded like the crazy person.

Because I was like, guys, I think schools are going to be closed for the rest of the year. Like, shit's about to get real bad. And I think a lot of people, like, did not think, like, I was being, like, people probably thought I was overreacting. Like, Karen thought I was overreacting. I was like, Karen, we got to go shopping, like, now. And she's like, dude, it's going to be fine. I was like, fuck that. No, it's not. So it was like, oh, go ahead.

No, I was saying, no, it's not. You know, like, I don't know. It's much better to be cautious, too, than be like, eh, whatever. Yeah. It's like, I'd rather overreact and then look dumb for overreacting than not do anything. And, like, so, yeah, so we did the show, and the show was so fun. And I probably would have taken it in a lot more if I would have realized this might be the the last time i ever do comedy in like the next five to six months and uh so we're out so we do the show and it's like a like 10 30 11 and i'm driving home and i'm like ah fuck it i'm just gonna go

to giant now i'm gonna get groceries i don't care what anyone says so i go to jack dude it felt like i was in giant on, a normal weekday. It was pretty fucking packed. No toilet paper already. Yeah, people are high-fiving. No cold supplies. No, like, cold medicine. So I just got, like, oh, my God, I bought three pounds of ground beef,

a whole chicken, a whole chicken cut up into parts, sausages, and like all this produce, all these cans. I bought like a hundred some dollars worth of food, plus like foil and all this shit we've been running out of trash bags. And Karen came home, or Karen came downstairs in the morning. She was like, what the fuck did you do last night? And, but, you know i was right so yeah and with all that you can freeze all that stuff oh yeah we already ate it all dude

right yeah that is the thing too yeah we we got a pound of beef and i was like let's make some burgers and then i'm like oh man that's like two burgers yeah no we made lasagna and then i made meatballs oh man that's like two burgers yeah no we made lasagna and then i made meatballs oh i want lasagna so bad dude it was so good i used a little bon appetit recipe i think bone ape yeah it was tight yeah karen has been watching so much bon appetit content it's so funny like all day she's watching which i get but it's it's like comfort food oh yeah for lack of a better word but it's so funny food, for lack of a better word. It's so funny in the morning, I'll know Karen's up

because I'll hear the theme to Brad's show start on YouTube. That guitar, it's like... Karen's up. Karen's up. Yeah, no, we made... Twice now we've made Italian wedding soup with sausage, like little sausage meatballs.

Italian wedding soup is great. So good. We're putting kale in there, mushrooms, garbanzo beans. Oh, dude. Healthy. That's great. So, yeah, we're trying to stock up on shit. We've been buying, we got one order of groceries via Instacart before they all went on strike

because apparently they're not getting paid enough. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. But yeah, certain restaurants like Woodbury and La Cuchara around here are basically turned into grocery stores, which is great. Oh, yeah, dude. But you can just buy stuff straight from them. It's fucking great.

Even La Cuchara is selling salt and pepper, toilet paper. I'm like, that makes sense. If you're a restaurant, you're just sitting on all that stuff. Why not sell it? Yeah, we bought peeled garlic from them. They sell for a dollar, you get 20 cloves of peeled garlic. We did two of those.

It's so nice to just grab garlic and not have to fucking deal with peeling that shit. It's amazing. Yeah, it's weird. Oh, no. Even this conversation, I just feel so lucky to be in this position. There's going to be like 10 million people that have filed for unemployment. Hard things cut off. By the time this comes out, probably.

Hello? Oh, no. Now we're frozen. See? This is karma. Keep recording, Josh. Hello? Hello?

Oh, Christ. Oh, no. Let's see here. Let's see here. Let's see here. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yo. Oh. Yo Hey Hey

Hello Hey Are you still recording? Yeah, I never stopped Yeah, I never stopped Alright, cool, me either That was scary Alright, hold on

My internet has been fucking up, dude. Your internet has? Yeah. I should have connected myself to my phone before starting. Yeah.

I did a virtual hang yesterday and I had to do that. Damn. See, bros, fuck. Here we Damn. Yeah, I'm in the office. Fuck. Here we go. Yeah, I'm going to connect to my hotspot. One sec. I was trying to do that and then that's what got me disconnected.

So I'm a little nervous to try again. Alright, I should be connected. Alright, I'm going to try one more time. Alright. We'll just leave in all these technical difficulties. Yeah, who cares? No one gives a shit. But yeah, I was just saying it's like,

even that these are the problems that we're having, we're so fucking lucky. It's insane. Dude, we are lucky we have jobs and we're still getting paid. It's crazy. Dude, I sat at home for three weeks and had nothing. Like, I didn't have any. Now we're teleworking, but for the first three weeks, we had nothing to do.

Yeah. And we collected two paychecks since then. That's insane. That's insane. Yeah, I still have my schedule where I'm off every other Friday. I'm like, ah, it's nice to be home on a Friday and not working from home. So are you guys working from home every day? Yeah, and that's the dumb thing.

Like, speaking of before everything went down, at work they reduced our telework, and then they were like, all right, we understand this is getting kind of serious, so what we're going to do is go back to the old telework schedule next week and everybody can telework two days a week it's like guys that's not gonna fix the problem like the problem is being around groups of people and there's thousands of people here on campus and if just because we're there three days instead of five is not gonna make any it's like having five holes on a ship and being like well well, we patched two of them. We're probably going to be fine.

Like, no, dude. Yeah, if you can telework one day a week from home, you can telework every day. Yeah, and that's the funny thing. I think that's why they kept digging their heels in, too, to be like, no, no, no, no. Telework's bad. It's impossible to telework this much. You have to come into the office, and now the pandemic's pandemic's like yo we don't ever have to come in again well i think my brother who works at social security also like he's struggling hardcore because they he why they have like um he's on some insane like high level

like high uh what's the word like um just some important project uh okay and he's just saying like it's just been such a bitch to have to like sit in like meeting like four hour meetings on the phone and internet and stuff like if we were just all in person we could just be at like a conference table and all that kind of stuff so i don't know and they need like rye hill i guess like some people need like multiple screens and all that kind of shit like my neighbor she brought home her whole like office desktop set up with like three screens and all that shit. Yeah, it would be nice to have two monitors, but I'm also like, it's fine. I don't care. Yeah, I don't, I've never had a two monitor set up, but I would love to do that at work.

It's very nice. Very nice. You got your emails open. You got your Excel. You know, you're doing two things. You're like, ooh, what does this say? Okay, cool. I know.

I was thinking about bringing my home laptop, and I don't even know why we're talking about this, but bringing my home laptop and doing a two-screen setup just to have it. Anyway, who gives a shit? I'll tell you what. Everybody cares. Everybody. And a good move is you can get a cable to the run from your laptop to your TV as well. I know.

I did that yesterday to watch a Louis C.K. special. Putting in that work. Did you see it? Yeah. No, no, I didn't see it. It's not amazing, but it is pretty good. It's definitely not one of his best, but it's pretty good. It's just such a weird time.

Like, 2020 has been so weird. Kobe Bryant died. We almost went to war with Iran. Global pandemic. And Louis is like, I got a new special. It's like, just hold on. All right? Jesus.

Is there enough going on? We were so excited also to, like, maybe finally get rid of Trump. Dude, it's been insane. Like bragging about his ratings and stuff. He's like, everybody's watching. It's incredible. Did you see the model joke he made? Yeah, because we're scared.

Did you see the model joke he made? Oh, dude, I'll send you the clip. I mean, it is funny, but then you're like... Yeah. It's so weird, because I do remember thinking, it would be cool if presidents could just be more normal and just crack jokes every now and then, and you're like, oh, yeah, no, that's not cool at all.

Yeah. So they were talking about something, and they were talking about the new models, about the spread and stuff. And he was like, yeah, I wasn't there when the models came. I wasn't involved in any of those. I haven't been involved in any models. Well, at least not these kind of models. And it was just like, God. And the woman that keeps coming out with him, that woman who just looks like she's some evil lady from that Hulu show, Handmaid's Tale or something.

She does have the annoying vice principal vibe or something like that. Yeah, and she just looked at him like, what the fuck has my job become? Yeah, and that Fauci guy's ready to kill himself oh dude he's getting death he's getting death threats from right-wing people who think um that he's trying to uh sabotage trump's presidency how tight is that yeah no fauci created a global pandemic that yeah that's what he did that that's his thing i saw today somebody shared an article where people are blowing up 5G towers

yeah it was like 5G internet towers cause they're like that's what's spreading the coronavirus is that happening in America that's the plan

yep holy shit that's the plan so stupid dude it's yeah it's it's insane

that Trump is in charge of this like I mean even talking about the models, too. He's like, look, I've seen some stuff that said a million people could die. So when you look at it like that, 100,000, not that bad. It could have been so much fewer people. Yeah.

Well, I like, too, that he blamed. He was like, also, the last administration, they had bad tests. Now we have good tests. The last administration had bad tests. It's like, so Obama had tests for a virus that didn't exist? That's so interesting. Dude, he's going to win again. It just sucks that we don't have a candidate that's good either.

You just have Joe Biden. Like Joe Biden's applesauce brain. Well, he died like a week ago. Yeah. either you just have joe biden like joe biden he died like a week ago yeah i mean seriously like where the fuck is he dude no he did some interviews and they're bad dude like he kept touching his face and then he just rambles and like he would do the thing it was like a bad date like a interviewer would give him a softball question of just like do you think that there's a lack of leadership from trump he's like oh absolutely i i tell you what i would do i'd be doing a way better job and then there's like that weird moment where nobody's saying anything and he's like i i you know i should have said that different i could

have said that better and it's like people got mad because Rogan said that he would vote for Trump over Biden. And, uh, I mean, at this point it's like, I don't even know if I'm going to vote, dude. I mean,

like I'm not, do you want to vote for two people who have sexual assault charges against them? And it just seems like they probably both did it. Yeah. And, oh, absolutely.

And I can't see, like, that Bernie's not just dunking on everybody because everything that we're doing are his policies. It's like, okay, everybody should have health care. We should give out money and aid to people. And it's like these are all of Bernie's things and, like, no momentum. Oh, dude, yeah. It's crazy. It's just like, God, we're not going to do comedy for so long.

It's insane. Like, because, dude, no one's going to have money when this thing is away. And if there really are 100,000 deaths, that's going to be insane. And that's another thing, dude. Like, me and Chris were talking about this. It's like, do we... At what point do the jokes stop? Dude, 1,300 people died yesterday.

In the U.S. alone. So, like, are we going to feel bad for making jokes? And then it's like, if 200,000... And they think 200,000 is low-balling it. That's what people are saying now. If over 200,000 is low-balling it. That's what people are saying now. If over 200,000 people die, are we going to make jokes about it? Chances are people in the audiences

are going to know people who have died. Absolutely. I mean, are people going to make jokes? Sure, but I don't know if it'll be funny. It just seems so pointless, too, at this point, where it's like all right we gotta rally and do comedy like i know dude no virtual somebody a lot of people have told me to do virtual gin and jokes and then i've seen the virtual comedy and it's like it is rough it is

impossible to do like uh i might do a small speechless thing but that's because that's like basically a webinar in itself and then like everybody could see the slides but even that i'm like i don't know yeah i don't know i do think like uh comedy i don't know if people can figure out a clever way to do it i haven't seen it yet i thought mark norman's video he put up was funny but then it's also like why are you on the street like so this comedian mark norman's video he put up was funny but then it's also like why are you on the street like so this comedian mark norman put up a video where he goes out and tells strangers on the streets of new york coronavirus jokes but it just i think it makes you look bad because you're doing the exact opposite of what we're supposed to be doing right now you're just

walking up to strangers and talking to them and it seems so desperate too yeah all right just give it a rest yeah so i don't know i think comedy and then it's like so like comedy you know relies on disposable income people aren't going to be going to and then like so that is one thing and another thing is, I looked at a picture for my show, and it's almost like, are you going to be able to ever arrange seats that are that close? Dude, there's 100 people in a dirty basement. Yeah. Also, Trump's like, no, we're're gonna have football where it's like 70 000 people

in a stadium like holy shit what yeah oh dude the xfl got fucked again damn xfl damn oh my god for a second i thought my mic wasn't on but it is all right good good i wouldn't be recording i mean the levels would be that would be the biggest tragedy so far of the pandemic but yeah I mean the numbers are fucking bananas

it took how long for us to get to 150,000 I think like a week and a half well the next one it was something it was like our first

150,000 took like a couple months and then it took a week to get to 300,000 just to double dude these bodies are gonna be dropping i i mean i can't imagine being in new york like we're you and i we're in a city but also like we're not packed in not like that you know yeah we live in like yeah we also live in a part of the city where it's, like, feels like the suburbs in a way where, you know, it's not, like, a grid, really a real grid system. And it's a neighborhood. So we're pretty lucky.

A lot of crime. Really? Dude, there's been, like, three carjackings, like, right by my house since this has been happening. And the squeegee kids are still out and harassing people. It's insane. Yeah, they yelled at us the other day because we didn't give them money. They're yelling at other cars. They told one of my gay friends they didn't give them money.

And it was two gay guys in a car. And they were like, oh, that's why you guys got AIDS. And it was, you know, two gay guys in a car. And they were like, well, that's why you guys got AIDS. And it's just like, Jesus. And he does have AIDS. I was going to say, well, how did they know? They took a shot in the dark and it paid off. Hey, that's how he got AIDS. Taking a shot in the dark.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. So, like, I feel like, like all right let's go through the quarantine all right these are the things everyone's doing puzzles yeah puzzles are a big one virtual by the way i hate puzzles i thought i would like doing puzzles they literally give me headaches and i'm like so bad at it or you got to get like a blink 182 puzzle or something

you know like oh i found travis. A puzzle of their live album cover would be fun. See? There you go. No, I don't like it. I don't think I'm, like, focused enough to do a puzzle. Interesting.

Well, yeah, you got puzzles, Tiger King, right? Dude, I gotta say, Karen and I, we were very early on about the whole Tiger King. I think we, like, watched it immediately when it came up.

Yeah, I saw it in my Netflix. Then you told me about it, and I was like, all right. But yeah, no, Umar, he was in on the underground. You liked Tiger King before it was cool. Oh, dude, yeah. I was, yeah. I also discovered Lindsay Lohan. I was on that train for a while.

Discovered who? Lindsay Lohan. No, who's the other train for a while. Discovered who? Lindsay Lohan. No. I don't even know who that is. Who's the Disney chick? I think Lindsay Lohan. Oh, Jesus. Miley Cyrus.

No. The one before her. She's from Texas. She's kind of trashy, but not that trashy. Dan Quayle. Fuck, I can't remember her name. Trashy, but not... Are we sure it's not Miley Cyrus?

No, I mean, she's also trashy, but in a different... This is like, what is this chick's name? Hilary Duff. Oh, yeah. I was deep in the Hillary Duff game Before she became an international superstar Interesting And now she's just like a stay at home mom

With good Charlotte right? No really? I think so No I think that's I think they did date at one point But I don't know if they're still together. Yeah, I know the Madden brothers are deep in the Hollywood game. One is dating or married to Cameron Diaz.

And the other is Paris Hilton's best friend, Nicole Richie. Oh, that's it. That's the one. Yeah. I tell you. I tell you, I can it. That's the one. Yeah. I tell you. I tell you, I can't keep up with these Madden boys. What a weird life. Just growing up in Waldorf, Maryland, and now you're married to Cameron Diaz.

Pretty punk rock, huh? It's pretty cool, dude. I mean, what the fuck is in Waldorf, Maryland? There's that shitty club that we did next to that sex store. Oh, dude. I mean, what the fuck is in Waldorf, Maryland? There's that shitty club that we did next to that sex store. Oh, yeah. We didn't do it together. Or that's like just outside of Waldorf. Yeah, it sucks.

White Plains, Maryland, which I didn't even know existed before we got booked there. It was terrible. All right, so puzzles. And then... Puzzles, then Tiger King. Tiger King. Walks. And let me say this about walks.

Break it down. You know, I run a lot, and so I run through the parks and stuff. I don't know if going to parks right now is a good idea, even if you're alone and going for a walk, because it's almost like you're in a grocery store. You're walking by people every two minutes. It's insane. Yeah, I just went for a run, and then it's very awkward, too, to, like, somebody's coming towards you,

and now you're like, all right, let me get in the street. Yeah. I'm six feet away, this type of thing. And it's weird, too. Like, it just feels so awkward, because everybody's not scared, but everybody's on edge. Oh, yeah. Like, you're just around another human. You're like, hey, hey, hey.

Jesus. Oh, dude. Karen and I were in a Target, and she was coughing because she ate something. I don't know. She was saying it was making her cough. People. Somebody just arrested her immediately. Yeah, no.

People, like, run out of the aisle that you're in. Yeah, they're like, yo, take that shit to Walmart right now. Oh, and also, yeah, so you're in the woods, and you're on these trails in the woods. No trail is, like, six feet wide. You know, you're just walking by people. Dude, literally yesterday, there was a family of 11 people on a bike ride.

Fucking Catholics, dude. They don't, you know, they don't use protection. Yeah. Yeah, I Catholics, dude. They don't, you know, they don't use protection. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean,

hey, if they all get sick and die, that's God's plan, baby. Yeah. And then like, you see like bikers are still biking together and you're like, you guys don't live together.

Yeah. There's no way. Also, uh, I would say the, uh, I don't know what drugs they're doing, but I think it's crack related or, uh, it could be heroin. I don't know, drugs they're doing, but I think it's crack related or it could be heroin.

I don't know. They are out and about. The intersection by our house, you wouldn't know that there's a global pandemic going on. By the amount that these folks are out, they're talking to each other, they're getting their drugs. They probably love their drugs. Oh, dude, they probably love it, too. So in our neighborhood, it used to be like a blue-collar, very white, blue-collar Irish or something like that. And, you know, then it got taken over by yuppies. They probably love it. It's just like, oh, we got our neighborhood back.

You know how, like, where the pollution that got cleared out of, like, Italy and China and L.A. And then, like, the natural wildlife starts coming back. Just, like, meth-addicted people and pregnant teenagers are like, man, this place is nice again. Well, yeah, they're like, goddamn, I love that yuppie virus. I don't know what it was. I heard somebody had a couple bad coronas at brunch and killed all the yuppies i love it thank god yeah no dude they are completely unaffected oh yeah walking around drinking mountain dew and then scooping up those drugs and throwing trash on the side of my house

all the bars they like are still open they're like fuck it we don't give a shit yeah this is great absolutely they probably do have an immunity to coronavirus uh yeah i mean it's bizarre that trump doesn't have it the amount of like people he's around shaking hands and shit like what if it's just all like the preservatives and the fast food that he eats? What if that's sustaining him? All those antibiotics that are in McDonald's burgers and shit. Yeah. Oh, well, what about Cuomo?

What about Zaddy Cuomo? Is he going to save us? Yeah, he's been fun to watch. Yeah. I like... Did you see when he was wearing that polo shirt the other day? Yeah, and everyone thinks he has nipple rings. I don't know.

It does look like he has nipple rings, but it's like... Yeah, somebody did an article on it, and they said that they think that he had his nipples taped down from chafing. I'm like, whose polo shirt is chafing their nips that bad yeah that's also uh uh that was like a joke in the office where the one guy would get chafing nipples like when they they did some show one episode well yeah but he went for he was running yeah but i've been running for since i was 16 i've never dealt with chafed... How do you say it? Chafed nipples. I didn't know that was a thing. Is that a thing?

Have your nipples ever chafed? Not my... Yeah, actually they did once when I was working at Paper Moon. For some reason, my apron kept like... It was like a long shift. And for some reason, my nips really hurt like a long shift and for some reason my nips really hurt damn yeah i don't know i was just working that hard you know um but no i mean

usually i'm running shirtless anyway you know so you gotta let it out gotta let it out 445 mile the other day that's insane i was going for it Because the first mile went And I They said I did it It's 640 And I was like Alright fuck it Let's just keep going And uh

Yeah and then after that I was dead I was like well this is Yeah But Well listen You turn the slipknot up As loud as possible

I was listening to slipknot Not gonna lie And then you just Run Hell yeah dude Speaking of people That were ahead of the curve with masks. I bet they're fine.

Posted. That's a great joke. I bet they're fine. Yeah. Yeah, I will. I'm going to write that down. That's a great joke that 20 people are going to get. Yeah.

Ironically, this joke is for nine people. You should Photoshop a surgical mask over their mask and then post it. I bet people have already done that. Isn't that the worst when you think of a joke independently and then you Google it and there's just tons of results? Well, that's another thing. There's only so many coronavirus jokes you can make. I think they've all been like somebody. I made a joke about straws and how about no one cares about plastic straws anymore.

And then Pete Bergen sent me a screenshot that he made a joke similar to that. And then I saw Mike Vecchione actually has a joke about that, that he got to perform live before any of this even happened. So I'm just like, God damn it. Yeah, I saw that. He did that at the Comedy Cellar. Yeah. But it was only because I was...

Karen and I have been making road did that at the Comedy Cellar. Yeah. But it was only because I was, Karen and I have been taking, making roadies while we go on our walks. Oh, dude, the drinking is out of control. We're drinking every night. It's too easy. Are you drinking a lot more? I won't say every day. I mean, Friday night, I wild out.

I did way too much. Because also, everybody's like, let's do a Zoom happy hour. I mean, Friday night, I wild out. I did way too much. Because also, everybody's like, let's do a Zoom happy hour. I'm like, okay. And then so I'll do that. So Friday, we did that. Had a few drinks. And then have you done the... Speaking of what everybody's doing,

so there's the happy hour Zooms. Have you got the app After Party? No. No, House Party. House Party is a thing where you can play games with people but you can see each other on the screen so we had like there was like 9 people from Ken Island in a group

chat with my friend Rudy who's in LA oh that's cool so I was just kind of drunk and like this is great and then I was like alright well I'm going to FaceTime with these, I'm going to FaceTime with these people. I'm going to catch up with these people. I'm not getting drunk, but I'm definitely having like two drinks every night. I got to stop.

Damn. Yeah, I'm trying to at least space it out to like every other day. But Friday night, I was, whew, it was bad. Like, throw up bad. Oh, last night I got so mad. Oh, I went through a whole bottle of whiskey in a week. Yeah, easy to do. Last night I got so mad. Oh, I went through a whole bottle of whiskey in a week. Yeah. Easy to do.

And so last night, the last whiskey I had, the last little bit of whiskey I had, I made an old-fashioned. I made my own simple syrup and stuff so I can like an old fashioned Fucking, you know, like Right, like Yeah, like the whole thing Like bitters, simple syrup Whiskey, stirring Cutting the orange, the spray The twirl around the glass And it was like a double size

Old fashioned, I was like so I was on good times, I was so pumped to enjoy This old fashioned So I closed the freezer Door, and I guess I was on good times. I was so pumped to enjoy this old-fashioned. In the zone. So I closed the freezer door. And I guess, like, not blaming her, but I think it is Karen's fault. Okay. I closed the freezer door, and she has all her, like, cobs, like, dog treats and shit up there.

A bag, a full bag of dog treats fell, hit my glass, knocked over the whole old-fashioned. Dude, I threw, I was so mad. I threw, like, the bag of dog treats on the, I was like, what the fuck? And I was just like, I went crazy. I was so mad. I was like, what the fuck? And Karen's like, it's not a big deal.

I'm like, it was the only whiskey we had. And then to make myself feel better, I bought a quesadilla at Pappy's. Dude, the people listening to this podcast, I hope they're not having a rough time. They're like, this pandemic has been hell. I made the perfect old-fashioned, and it got knocked over. And I said, what the fuck? And me, got knocked over And I said what the fuck And me I'm like I drank a lot On this app with my friends Yeah well look man

We made good life choices What are we supposed to feel bad about that Yeah what the hell You know what I mean I'm really glad I don't have roommates right now If I would have roommates right now I would probably kill them Or they would kill me Yeah 100% Also too like if you're I don't have roommates right now. If I would have roommates right now, I would probably kill them. Or they would kill me. Seriously.

Yeah, 100%. Because also, too, like, if you're, you can be doing everything right. And then if your roommate, like, goes out, touches a bunch of people, or roommate brings somebody home, it's like, okay, cool. Yeah. We're all fucked now. 100%. Like, I was, I did, I was hanging out, a virtual hang with our buddy Alex in New York. And he's dating a girl,

and they keep going over each other's apartments, and then they all have roommates, and I'm sure they're doing the same thing. So it's just like... Yep. And it's like, you don't know. You live in New York. You're on subways.

You're crossing people all the time. Anytime you go shopping, you're around hundreds of hundreds of people. It's just a horrible and then also the square footage dude yeah like being in an apartment with three other adults you're in your 30s i would murder myself like that is what one bathroom three adults yeah fuck that dude god like yeah i mean, like, getting just your drink knocked over that one time. Like, constantly, like, you're trying to save food, and then somebody's like, whoops, sorry, your tacos.

Like, what the fuck? Oh, dude. Oh, God. Yeah. I think about, like, having to ask your roommate to be like, hey, man, can you clean the kitchen during a global? I would be, oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

No, man, I definitely feel very lucky to have, like, a full home, be paid, that type of thing. My dad, luckily, is still being paid because he is a carpenter, and so he's not allowed to be in the building. So it's not even like they can telework. It's not like, hey, fix this door from home yeah um good for him so i yeah no it's great because also i mean before that he was in the restaurant business forever had his own restaurant and it's like man if he still had his own restaurant he would be so fucked right now oh my god think about people who dude there's like uh this bar this awesome bar dutch courage they opened like, two months ago.

They're fucked. Brutal. And then people, yeah, like, my buddy, Ari, she, like, works, like, their company, she's an interior designer. And they work on, like, mostly restaurants and stuff like that. Like, all those projects are fucked no one's able to like even in construction like no one can pull permits or anything right now like yeah it's uh this town's gonna be fucked up yeah i mean i think absolutely but hopefully when i don't know they lift this thing then we can start going out and, you know, supporting people and stuff.

Most people won't have money. And. Right. Dude, also this $1,200, this is money that we're going to have to pay back. Oh, well, I make too much money, so I'm not going to get it. You're going to get six, right? What's up? You're going to get like $600.

I don't think I'm going to get anything. Really? Yeah. Wow. Which, yeah, I know. I agree. I'm mad too. I really hope people aren't listening to this and don't have jobs. Here's the deal. That's class warfare. If you're mad at me because I'm too rich, that's on you.

I will be getting that $1,200. Nice. I think if it was next year, I would not be getting it. But pretty pumped. Got my taxes. You do your taxes. Got my taxes back. I'm going to start investing in stocks, baby.

Yeah, that's what I'm doing. I asked because I was freaking out. I lost a good bit of money. You should have. Yeah. Sean Joel, a guy we know. It doesn't matter. Never mind.

Go ahead. Oh, I was just going to say, I lost a good bit. But, I mean, I'm hoping in, you know, I talked. So, it'll come back. But I talked to my uncle, who's my accountant. And I was like, yeah, man, I'm just like kind of freaking out. You know, obviously, like, it's gone down, but it's not like all the way gone. Like, what should I do?

And he was like, invest more. Now's the time. Yeah. The advice for young people is don't touch it. This is going to happen. Just leave it alone. Yeah. And that's pretty.

And then not even leave it alone. and that's pretty and then you mean not even leave it alone he's like put more money in yeah and he's like he's like i'll just wait for a day when it dips down a bunch and then i'll put it in so he put it in a technology mutual fund for me since all the tech stocks are doing well now really yeah well i mean stuff like zoom everybody has to telework so all that all that of, you know, thing is exploding. Yeah. I wonder afterwards, I wonder if a lot of companies will start shifting to like a four-day work week, more telework. And like I was thinking for like school systems, like do teachers only had one week to learn google classrooms yeah have it create content for google for like online learning and learn how to teach online in one week one week and and uh it's gonna be a nightmare but

you know everyone's doing their best and uh we were sent an email that we're not allowed to bad mouth uh you know anybody out there. But, yeah, they're doing their best. But, like, it's just going to be – I was thinking, I was like, once they get this figured out and streamline it, no more snow days. The snow days are gone. Yeah. That's what they did with us at work.

They're like, yo, if there's a snow day and you can telework, guess what? You're working from home. Yeah. Snow days are gone. And, well, it there's a snow day and you can telework, guess what? You're working from home. Yeah. Snow days are gone. And, well, it's crazy, though. Like, most kids don't have, even though people have phones, like, they don't have access to the internet. Like, I realize, like, a lot of my kids only use their phones, like, on Wi-Fi. Right.

Yeah. Right. And then let alone to, like, do homework, too. It's not like, it's like, okay, now open your laptop. And it's like, my what? Yeah. I don't know how you can, how it's not like it's like okay now open your laptop and it's like my what yeah i don't know how you can how it's gonna work how do you teach pre-k on the internet just show them some shapes and stuff um yeah i mean talking about having roommates like having kids during this oh like we have some friends and karen works with some people and having like two little kids

from like you know ages like three to like six or something like so now you're just an all-day like babysitter plus teacher and then you have to do your work at home oh my god you fuck yeah that's what a lot of people were saying fuck dude oh dude. Oh, so glad I don't have kids. So glad I don't have kids and I own my house. Dude, yeah, we're very lucky. Very lucky. Yeah, back to my dad. Speaking of, because sometimes he's like a kid, or it's so funny, because now all the food delivery apps like Postmates and Grubhub and stuff,

they're really trying to deliver food. So he called me the other day and he's like, so I can get fast food delivered to my house? Yeah, you can. He's like, how? I was like, you got to use an app. He's like, oh, I'm out. Oh, really?

He won't do it? You can do it for him. I told him I would. And he was like, ah, all right, maybe. No, he's so funny, I FaceTimed him the other day. And then at the end, he's like, all right, are we done Facebooking? This isn't Facebook. He's like, well, what is it then? Does your dad, does he think this is, is he, because your dad, he's kind of like Like old school tough guy

Is he taking this seriously? Oh, 100% Not that he's dumb But he definitely is He's like a man's man I could picture I could see him being like Whatever, I'll be fine

He's like, yeah, no I've just been in the garage working on the car. It's been great. Yeah. I went to go see him last weekend, and we just stayed outside, and I made sure to stay away. Like, he was in the garage, and I stayed in the driveway. But, yeah, I felt bad for him. He lives alone, and then so, like, he's only seeing people at, like, the grocery store,

but it's not like he's meeting up with friends or anything. Yeah, that's got to suck. So, yeah, I came over, and he was like, this is great. I haven't really talked to anybody in person in, like, two weeks. Holy shit. Dude. So, yeah, I mean, no, he's a very liberal guy, smart dude. Like, he knew that, you know, all this shit was going on

and how serious it was going to be. And then every day with these Trump press conferences, I get all these texts. He's like, this motherfucker. It's funny. Like, oh, man, I wish we had, like, we want to build a patio and we want to, like, we got to finish painting and decorating and stuff, but it's like we don't have any of the supplies

or tools that we would need. And, like, we missed the window to go get them. But I just see all these people online, like, they're like, oh, I just painted this. We just built this. And I'm like, you did not have this stuff laying around. There's no way you had this stuff laying around. I know. I was, yeah, I cleaned up our backyard today.

I was like, I just need an activity. So I picked up all the weeds and uh because karen's parents might come by and we might do like a social distance hang out in the backyard possibly yeah uh because karen's mom's a sweetheart she made uh masks for everybody out of out of old fabric um but yeah i was like man i would love to go get some fucking soil i'd love to plant some stuff grow some herbs and yeah it just feels weird going to, like, Ace or something like that and be like, do you guys have any black topsoil? Karen did it.

She was like, fuck this. She was like, if. She was like, I can't. She was like, I will go insane. I think she's been having a rough time, a rougher time than I have because she still has to go to work, and she works in a hospital. But, like, she doesn't work with sick she works with people out of surgery not like sick people so her hours are getting cut because there's just not patients coming because like a lot of times orthopedic surgery are elective surgeries so there's not if there's not a lot of patients

they cut people's hours so people their hours are going to be cut and they have to use pto and so they're going to run out of pto and once this thing is lifted they're not going to have any time like pto for vacation which is a bummer jesus yeah i know you know like yeah you had your vacation during a pandemic yeah enjoy it pretty wild and yeah um, but so she went out and bought soil and plants. She was like, fuck this. I'm not,

I'm not, not planting. Yeah. Yeah, I want to get some. It also feels weird doing like Amazon stuff as well. Well, you can't anymore. It's going to take like a month

to get to your place. Yeah, I ordered some stuff. I ordered some refrigerant for our fridge because that has like that had some trouble a few months ago it was like leaking refrigerant so i bought some of that and so nice so yeah stuff to stock up on a couple dildos you know just like the essential stuff yeah you know what we need what we need you know Oh, yeah, but Karen's mom is making masks out of old fabric. Oh, nice.

So we have a big, like, family group text thing. And so she sent a bunch of samples, like, pick the color you want. And Bob is so into it, Karen's dad. Like, he's like, all right, we had a little bit of a problem with the supplies, but the factory is now open. We're taking orders. I was like, all right, well, I want to get this one. And so I sent him the, it was black with like a cool design on it.

I was like, can I get that one? He's like, Josh, I'm afraid you're going to have to reorder. We are out of that one. Okay. It's like, okay. So then I was like, well, I'll just go with the blue. He's like, perfect. Classic.

That's our best seller. Yeah, my mom picked up a kit from Joanne Fabrics and made a bunch of masks for hospital people. Yeah. Dude, it's just such a weird, weird thing. Now I'm getting targeted ads in my Instagram for cool masks that people are making. Yeah, I saw that. It's crazy. Where it's fashionable masks. I'm like, what a fucking weird time to be alive yeah i don't even know if i mean i don't

know i guess like it's better than nothing but like i don't know if like cloth masks do anything and yeah at first the cdc said don't wear masks and now they're saying wear a mask and you're just like i i think the reason that they did that though is because they were afraid there was going to be a run on mass right and then they wouldn't be available to people that need them right i think so like so if you tell people it's like yeah you should get a mask then you're gonna have people buying like hundreds yeah but people yeah it's so weird though but people like don't know how to use like i see people wearing gloves but then it's like you're touching your

phone you're touching your face you're picking up stuff in the supermart it's like i think you're doing this wrong yeah with the with the gloves yeah it's like you shouldn't be wearing those for hours it should be like a one-time use yeah karen was like do the hospital you go through gloves like an insane she was like if like she said, like, you know, anytime you go into a room, you put on gloves, you take them off when you leave the room, you put on new gloves. And like she Karen one day, like just so she could get some extra hours in. They made her like essentially a janitor. And so her role was to like clean up stuff and hand out masks to employees and volunteers. And she was like, honestly, the right way to do it would be to use new gloves every time you hand someone a mask.

Yeah. But no, you can't do that. You can't. Yeah. It's insane, man. So yeah, if I go out, we're trying to do a thing. So I go through the basement and then I pure all my hands and I wash my hands. I take all those clothes off.

I get in the shower. Then I come up like... But yeah, it's just really hard, man. So like bringing stuff into the house and then you put it on a table, got to spray down the table,

spray down all the goods. It's fucking... Oh, do you guys... Yeah, we're not that careful because we're pretty much... Yeah. We pretty much are like... Feel like we're going to get sick just because of Karen's job.

Yeah. So, I don't know. We're not that careful at all. I've been out so much. It's hard. Like, Karen Tate was like, dude, you got to. She's like, you can't go to the grocery store for, like, two things. You got to make a list, go buy a bunch of shit, and, like, limit, you know, your exposure.

Yeah. go buy a bunch of shit and like limit you know your exposure yeah but it's like it's just so hard to plan out like i can't plan that many meals like i can't plan a three weeks worth of meals yeah we've been trying to do that where it's like okay now we made this soup so therefore like lunch is covered we're gonna have soup for the next three or four days you know or like we'll make uh like a bunch of chicken or something like that. Like, okay, now we have chicken for two or three days. Yeah, we've been doing the same, but you still run out, like, after, like, a week and a half. Yeah, if you did. And you're just like, all right.

Yeah. Yeah, man. But I don't know. Yeah, I've definitely slowed down on my frozen pizza consumption, which has been tough. Ooh, really? How come? Well, because, you consumption, which has been tough. Ooh, really? How come? Well, because, you know, there's not enough. Oh, the supply is limited on the frozen pizza?

Especially for the Red Barons, man. Oh. Listen, I'm accustomed to a certain lifestyle. Go to Mom's. They have a bunch of frozen pizzas. All right, nice. Yeah, I think we might go. I think we're going to get stuff from La Cuchara sometime this week, probably.

We did them also. Maybe I'll go out then. Dude, I bought crust from Mom's Organic Market. Way too expensive, but it was the best store-bought crust we've had so far. Dude, killer pizza. And I tried to buy some today. They were out. Oh, fucking A. I know. Yeah, I. They were out. Oh, fucking A.

I know. Yeah, I'm like running out of stuff like chips and stuff. I'm like, oh yeah, I forgot to get like a Pandemic's Worth supply

of like Cheetos. Yeah, we were lucky, dude, because we always buy like the biggest thing of like toilet paper and paper towels anyway.

So like, I haven't bought toilet paper since this has went down because that night like i went to giant like that wednesday before the whole announcement happened about schools closing and all that like uh they were already out of toilet paper and i went to when i was at the grocery store today mom's organic market only has single roll toilet. There's like a limit of 12 per person.

Yeah, we stocked up accidentally from Trader Joe's. So when this whole thing started, we were sitting on like two dozen rolls, which is nice. So, you know, so we're doing alright. Doing okay. Doing okay, you know. Yeah, I don't know, man. I fucking... I'm getting bored, dude.

It's hard to start. I'm running out of things to cook. I'm running out of things to do. You're just walking in the same fucking parks all the time. But then you're like, what is life anyway? You just go to the same places over and over. Yeah, I'm just really building up in my head just being able to go somewhere and sit down. I watched Ozark, which is a really depressing

show, but there's a scene where they go to a diner and it's this horrible conversation. I'm like, that looks nice. I would like to do that. I know. That's nice. That's what the one hope of... A lot of people think that comedy is

fucked for a long time which it might because it does rely on disposable income and i definitely think like especially for people who are trying to make comedy their career like oh yeah you're gonna be fucked for a while because you're gonna have to get a real job poor souls yeah you're gonna have to get a real job because I don't know. I don't know if amateur comedy is what the world needs. Is what the world wants. Like, people are just going to go to their clubs and people are, I think clubs are going to try to hire people who they know can get people in the door because they're going to have been hurting. You know, a lot of clubs won't make it. it like a lot of these independent clubs will not make it.

Yeah, I think Beer Baron shut down, right? Is it? I didn't even see. I think it shut down. I think they're just doing renovate because they're also a hotel. So they're like that business is fucked. They're a hotel restaurant comedy club. Literally the worst things you can be during a pandemic Yeah, the only way to make it worse

If they were a cruise ship Yeah Like just hit all four Yeah, I mean that was our fucking honeymoon Was going to be a cruise in the Mediterranean Oh yeah, your wedding too got moved Well yeah, I mean not officially But yeah, I mean

We're thinking it's going to get bumped Oh dude, some people are saying We're not going to be out of this until fall. Yeah. And especially if other states aren't, the longer they delay their social distancing, the longer this will go on for. Yeah, I don't know if this number is still right, but I saw something the other day. It was 11 states still don't have any type of, like, quarantine announcement at all. 11 states? Like, what are you doing?

God, dude, we suck. It's, dude, brutal. But, yeah, no, and then even if we could still do the wedding in June, like, say there are 80,000 dead, it's weird to be like, okay, let's get together now and celebrate. You know, it's like got to get some space from that. So, dude, yeah, I mean, it really sucks, but it's together now and celebrate. You know, it's like, gotta get some space from that. So, dude, yeah. I mean, it really sucks,

but it's gonna happen eventually. But it is weird, too, to have, because we sent out our invites and stuff, so it's like we're getting replies where it's like, oh, cool, more people that can come to the wedding. That's not happening. Great.

Damn. I saw two virtual weddings. Nah, that's not happening great damn who i saw two virtual weddings because uh that's that's whack a couple of evans a couple that evans is friends with um they got they were supposed to get married they were gonna get married at um what's that place re Baltimore lives in? That like... Who? Do you know that the artist Reed... Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know what you're talking about. Yeah, he lives in like this art space kind of thing. Studio art warehouse artist warehouse compound thing. They were supposed to get married there, and they got married online. And then another couple, this girl I knew from college, they did a virtual wedding. And I was like, damn, that shit sucks. That does suck.

It's like, I don't know. I mean, it's like, you can wait. Yeah. Because also, it's like, you're not officially married. You didn't file any paperwork. As I say, you need that paperwork, too. What are you going to do? People are going to do what they're going to do. I mean, I say, you need that paperwork, too. What are you going to do? People are going to do what they're going to do.

I mean, I guess, yeah. It does feel weird to be like, dearly beloved... Oh, my internet connection's a little bad. Hold on one sec. Hold on. Okay, dearly beloved, we are gathered here on Zoom to celebrate these two people. Yeah, not good.

I think... I also think that like um like after this is over there's gonna be a collective ptsd like a worldwide ptsd about gatherings like so like dude think about stuff like like Bonnaroo and all these, like, festivals where you just camp out. Like, are people just going to be okay with that shit? I think so. Yeah, I mean, because that's why you have that whole. Well, I guess even after the Spanish flu, no one talked about that kind of shit. Yeah, no, after the Spanish flu, they went right to Bonnaroo.

They're like, hot dog, let's get down. Now that's the ticket. Let's go see Monty's mouth. I can't wait to Bonnaroo. They're like, hot dog. Let's get down. Now that's the ticket. Let's go see Modest Mouse. I can't wait to 22 skidoo. Yeah. I can't wait to 22 skidoo at Coachella. Yeah, Modest Yahoo's going to do a set. Yeah.

He's Jewish, you know. Not a big fan of that. Oh, I heard the Hasid's in New York are not practicing social distancing. I heard they are not. Well, because they have their own states. They have their own laws and shit. They don't have

to follow normal laws. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, but they have their own police or something. They have their own ambulance and police and all that shit. Yeah, it's like the weird rules about touching people and stuff. It's just so weird. Yeah, the paramedics show up and it's like, my wife, she's having a heart attack. He's like the weird rules about, like, touching people and stuff. Like, it's just so weird. Yeah, the paramedics show up, and it's like, my wife, she's having a heart attack.

He's like, oi, I can't touch her. I wish I could. Oi, what are you going to do? Did you end this podcast two minutes ago? I tell you. I tell you. The Zoom, the pandemic won't stop us from making ill-advised jokes. Also, how many podcasts?

Because we're not going to be living lives. We're not going to be doing shows that we can talk about. We're not going to be like, nothing interesting is going to happen. We're just going to be like, nothing. We're going to talk about what I cooked every goddamn day. I was going to say, we're going to talk about cooking, running. I'm playing more guitar. That's been fun.

Oh, me too. Yeah, yeah. My buddy Mace, he recorded a bass thing, sent it to me, and then I put some guitar on it. Oh, nice. I was like, this is cool. That is cool. So, yeah, I've been trying to record some stuff. Tremendous Athlete has like eight songs recorded, so we're trying to figure out what to do with that.

Do you have vocals and everything? On three of them, yeah. We just have to get them mastered. Put them out. Yeah, we might just put out an EP of three songs. Do it. Yeah, we're trying to get some artwork. And then I was thinking it would be funny to film a video

where it's all of us just at home being boring, and then that's the video. Oh, that'd be cool. Yeah, where it's like Miles could be playing pots and pans instead of drums. Casey could play guitar with his kids running around. Yeah, that'd be fun. Yeah.

So. So, yeah, I don't know. It's weird. I go between feeling like inspired to do stuff. And then it's like you watch the news for a little while and it's like New York's like, hey, we need 30,000 ventilators. And then Trump's like, no, no, seems a little high to me. Like you read like Jared Kushner's in charge and you're like, why the fuck?

Jesus Christ. Are you and Karen like, do you feel like your level of bickering has gone up? No. Karen and I have been really good actually. Besides me, yeah, she was a sweetheart on

Friday when I wild out and did too much. And then on Saturday, I was like, I need help. I'm sick. She's like, you're not sick. You're hungover. It's 2.30. It's 2.30 p.m. Time to get up.

Yeah, we've been pretty good. There's been a couple of times where, like, Karen, I think Karen gets bummed out. Like, Karen is not a news person. She does not follow, like, any news, any politics. She does not follow any news, any politics. She does not care. I think it bums her out too much. And me and Chris were talking on the phone, and we were just doing worst-case scenarios,

and it was really bumming her out. We're like, dude, when the supply chain collapses, that's when she's going to get really fucked up and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And Karen's just like... And then for a while, Karen... We've had to cancel...

Again, just... It's going to make us sound very privileged, but we had to cancel a vacation. Yeah. It is so funny. It's like we're not going to be able to do our Fabergé egg convention. Dude, yeah. It's a real bummer. We were supposed to be in Asheville, North Carolina right now,

and Karen was super looking forward to, like, hiking and doing all that shit. Dude, we were going to do a trip to Miami. I don't know if that's going to happen. Ooh, nope. I'll tell you right now, nope. And then I had bought Karen for her an early birthday present. I bought, there's this Japanese artist who does like those crazy installations where you walk through and you take pictures of. She did, it was called like Infinity Mirrors or something. Yaka Suma.

I don't know what her name is. Yeah, it was in DC for a while. It was like an international thing. So she has another one. And Karen never got tickets to the last one. It was so popular. And she tried really hard to go here in Atlanta where her parents lived. So I bought, I donated $100 to the Hirshhorn Museum like several months ago. And then that gets you access to

it gets you a spot like it gets you like early access to the exhibit and you don't have to like wait in a line because you have like a guaranteed time slot and so like that got cancelled and it sucks I gave her the I like got her this card

off Etsy like a Yakusuma card or whatever her name is, and then with the tickets in it. I think it's Yokozuna. Yeah. And then she was going to turn 40. Well, she's still alive, but she might not be. She's old.

She's turning 40 on the 24th of this month, and we were going to do like like, a big 40th birthday. We rented out Chuck's Trading Post. We were going to have a photo booth, a whole pig roast and everything. Oh, man, that would be awesome. I know, yeah. You guys were obviously invited,

and that's definitely not... And then I felt bad, because I knew this was going to go on for months. And in the beginning, Karen's like, well, maybe it'll happen. And I'm just like, I don't know, babe. And she and she's like umar just don't say that i'm like all right all right but it's like i don't think yeah you do the thing where your voice goes up higher yeah yeah so she's super bummed i think all that shit's getting to her but it's like dude we both have

jobs we both have money we both have a home like we're mean, I get it from her point, but it's like we're doing great. Yeah. Yeah, I think we both are lucky that me and Karen, my Karen, are lucky that we can work from home and stuff. But, yeah, we'll be watching the news for a little bit and then just get really bummed out. Karen's like, I don't want anyone to die. It's like,

yeah, it's, man. Really? Of coronavirus? Damn. Uh-huh. She's better now? Interesting. How long did it last for her? Right.

Sucks. Coronavirus and jokes. Jesus. Jesus. Yeah, you're like, I can give y'all a refund um yeah i just like that he's like all right well i can refund or you can come back another time like yeah okay all right Yeah, it's like going to NASCAR and there's no wrecks. You're like, I didn't want anybody to get hurt, but you know. Jesus Christ.

Ugh. Uh-uh. I believe it though Joe Exotic yeah he has like his sex cult yeah Yeah, right. But... Weird.

Very weird. It's really weird. The whole group is so weird. It's so insane. So insane. Yeah, 100%. it's really weird the whole group is so weird it's so insane so insane yeah a hundred percent a hundred percent because then she also changed his will after that said like it didn't say like if i die it said if i go missing yeah and she's just like wow no that's crazy I would never do that Like uh huh

Yeah and that's what It was like I kept thinking about it like in terms Of like comedians cause they all know Each other you know so it's like Even if you and I don't know somebody In New York chances are we have a friend that knows Them so it's like So like seeing a guy with like a monkey

Crawling around his chest he's like, so like seeing a guy with like a monkey crawling around his chest, he's like, let Joe exotics, a goddamn dickhead. It's like, why do you know each other? What is this group? Families, dude. Yeah. Well, I... So, I would go there not to see the tigers, but I go for the pizza. I really... I think the pizza had to be incredible.

I love it. He said, yeah. And he set it up right next to like a cage. It's like, so this tiger's shitting and he's like, get a pepperoni slice while you can. Dude. All right. Let's, let's wrap this thing up. You got any dates to plug, Umar?

You got any shows coming up or anything? Oh, yeah. My thing got a bump back as well. Yeah, I think so. Paul was editing and then he actually got a bunch of freelance work so i was like yeah just focus on that so that yeah that's another thing i go back and forth too where i'm like do i want to be like now watch my special you know it's like oh there's 10 yeah right free right free oh yeah

that is dope yeah so go to YouTube check out live in Baltimore is it live from Baltimore in yeah they're they're great uh a theater um art collective thing and and uh yeah so i don't know check out my band tremendous athlete tremendous tremendous and uh yeah yeah exactly yeah you can uh you can see me and umar running in uh hamden probably if you walk

around but uh all right well no more uh no more zoomies with umis and uh everybody stay safe out there wear your masks get a cool one be a hype beast you know and uh that's it we'll talk to you next time if we're all still here all right bye bye everybody