The Digression Sessions - Ep. 313 - Quarantine Sessions 2

Episode Date: April 12, 2020

Hola Digheads, on this week's episode, Josh and Umar catch up on the Corona and their Quarantine lives. We did this over Zoom again and I think it sounds good this time! But sorry if they audio is weird. We'll fix it next time! Follow the podcast and Josh Kuderna, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram The Pod - @DigSeshPod on Twitter The Pod's Facebook page - Dig Sesh on Facebook Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Laughable, Stitcher, & Spotify plz!

We're recording. Oh, we are. You know, I didn't think I was going to be an essential worker, but podcasting is getting the people through. Hey, man, this is the only job left. Where it costs us money and we don't get paid at all. I know. Yeah, we got to fucking, well, there's no one left to sponsor a podcast anymore.

Hey, you should get the, let's get the Gin and Jokes backers. Get the old Baltimore Spirits company. Ah, well, I think they're struggling too. Well, that's the thing, you know. We have tens of listeners, and I'm sure those tens of listeners would love some of their delicious gin. So call them up and say,

Umar sent you. Oh, yeah, didn't you get a, you got a delivery from them, right? Yeah. If you are listening in the Baltimore area, the wonderful baltimore spirits company is they're doing curbside pickup and they're also delivering as well so we got two things of gin and uh they're delicious man a gin and tonic and lime hot take bro geez sorry oh

got the uh dry cough hey could you not have corona while we're doing an ad that we don't get paid for? Yeah. Please? Oh, put headphones on too this time. They gotta be in. Oh, you do? Okay, cool. Cool, cool.

Well, hello everybody. Thank you for checking out our last quarantine podcast. Me, Josh Koderna, here in my office. And we got my good buddy, Umar Khan, on his couch in his palatial estate. Oh, I am in a lay down position. This is the best way to pod. Yeah, that's an essential worker right there. He's going through it.

I don't think I ever, when I'm home, I literally am never sitting up. I'm either standing cooking or I'm laying down. That is the funny thing. It's like, man, I better get out of bed so I could go sit on the couch. Yeah. I literally never sit in my house. Like, when I'm home, I'm never sitting. And Karen, like, doesn't, she likes sitting.

She doesn't like laying down because she'll just fall asleep. Dude, I fucking love a lay down. Who doesn't? I don't know. I'm not going to lie, man. I mean, I know this shit sucks, but it's just so nice. Life is slow, you know, for us. Yeah.

Yeah. There's nothing demanded of us, really. Yeah. I love there's zero pressure. There's zero pressure to be funny, to do shows, to get work done in any sort of, you know, like I have work, but everyone's like, oh, it's a pandemic. Work at your own pace. And we're like, okay. All right.

Yeah. I had to do a presentation this week and I'm like, come on, guys. Do we really care? We don't really care about this. I have all these deadlines at work and everyone's like, oh my God. I'm like, guys, no one gives a shit. Yeah. It's like, it's a global pandemic.

That's how every presentation should start. Like, alright, okay, I think we have everybody on the line. There's a global pandemic. Who cares? And we're going to get started. And if we could talk about fiscal quarter three, who cares? There's a global pandemic. Yeah, dude, we've just been going for these insane

two-hour walks with Cobb or Dogg and it's like, yeah, we never, this is great. We never do this. It's great that it took hundreds of thousands of people dying for me to find the simple joys in life of walks and puzzles. That is exactly what I'm picturing. I'm picturing you guys like stepping over bodies. And you're like, it's spring. I forget that it's spring. It's so nice. Yeah. Excuse, like, stepping over bodies. And you're like, it's spring. I forget that it's spring.

It's so nice. Yeah. Excuse me. Just stepping over corpses. We're just walking in the woods. And there's, like, there's a homeless dude, like a junkie guy. And I'm just like, God, this is so great. This is like we're just taking time for nature.

Yeah. And just, yeah. There's a homeless guy. He's like, please, can you help me? Like, sir, six feet. Please. Come on. Yeah. There's a homeless guy. He's like, please, can you help me? Like, sir, six feet, please. Come on, protocol. Yeah, seriously. Like, get the fuck out of here, buddy.

Yeah, how dare you? Yeah, it's been nice. It's just, like, just cooking. Like, you don't feel guilty for just laying down and watching a whole season of a community on Netflix in two days. The third season of ozark came out oh crushed it right and i was well i was like oh yeah i started that show when it came out so i never finished the first season but i was like boy do i have time to catch up now yeah dude that's

you're in a good spot because ozark is a show where so much happened and they took, I don't know, like three years from probably the first season came out to the third season. Yeah, I think the first one came out in 2017. I was like, oh, yeah, I'm on episode eight because, you know, Netflix still has the thing. Like, I didn't even finish episode eight. And I was like, well, better pay attention now. And so, yeah, when it comes out that way, you just binge it. Like, you just totally forget. And the second season wasn't that great.

But the third season, goddamn, pretty fucking tight. I liked both of them. I do think the second one was still entertaining. I just think it was the worst one. Interesting, interesting. Well, I was watching it, and, you, and almost every scene is horrific and depressing. Yeah. But there's a scene where they went to a diner, and I was like, oh, that looks nice.

Yeah, same. But at the diner, they're like, I'll fucking kill you. Yeah. I'll kill your family. I'm like, God, I would love to go get a cup of coffee at a cafe. I know. Dude, my favorite thing about Ozark, because the guy's name is Bill Bateman. Jason Bateman.

Bill Bateman. Who's Bill Bateman? That's like a local. Yeah. Bill Bateman sells wings. Yeah. That's what Ozark is all about, is that the cartel's like, Bill Bateman, get us your wings from Glen Burnie, Maryland.

We got to wash our money. Let's open up a wing shop. Yes, we'll let the white trash eat all of our wings when i was when i was in high school um i went on a date i took my girlfriend i know come on i took my girlfriend uh to bill bait well she knew him i never knew a bill bateman she grew up around towson so we went to the bill bateman's in towson and this is like when you you know you're a kid and you just you just i don't know i i i only like you just carried cash on you like i had a bank account but i never used my it was only remember when you

only had a debit card that that card could only take money out of an atm and that's all it could do do you remember that when you're like 16 yeah and then yeah magically it was like i'm gonna type this into the credit card area online. Holy shit, it worked. Cool. Yeah, and then some places would take debit card. This is only when some places would take debit cards. This was before. Yeah, what a weird world.

You're just like, oh, God, fucking insane. I like the phase that we're at where it's like, you remember the late 90s? Early 2000s? Oh, yeah, this was, yeah, this was like 2006, dude. Yeah. So we go to Bill Bateman's and I only had cash on me and I realized,

I was like, oh, fuck, we don't have that much money for a tip. And I was like, oh, fuck. And I was like, all right,

we just got to leave what we have and just we'll get out of here. So we left what we had, we got out of there. And then I couldn't find my fucking car keys. We're in the parking lot. And by the way, when you're like a teenager, like Towson is like a 25 minute drive.

But to me back then, it felt like an hour and a half away. Like, yeah, like if we went going to the big city, like there's a mall and it's four stories tall. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, well, we would go like i remember once or twice a year we would go to towson mall and we thought it was like yeah we thought we were like going to fucking ocean city or something it was insane we're like oh my god we better pack snacks for the road i like that's your equivalent you're like it's like

we're going somewhere else really nice. Ocean City. Yeah. Well, I just meant the distance. But anyway, so. Oh, I got you. Yeah. It's the fucking Oregon Trail. Yeah, yeah. I hope we don't die of dysentery on the way to the mall. I got to think of Chex Mix trail mix in a Ziploc bag for the ride.

Yeah, don't eat it all at once. My favorite thing in the Chex Mix trail mix were like the brown rye, the hard rye. What is that? The hard rye? Yeah. Was it rye bread? Yeah, probably. Yeah, it's like kind of toasted or baked.

Yeah. Right? Was that trail mix? Chex Mix? Listen, buddy, it's all the same. Chex Mix, I think, is cereal. Pretty sure. No, no one eats that with cereal.

Isn't it? Chex Mix is cereal. Oh, but there was a Chex Mix trail mix, right, with some of the cereal. Anyway. I think they called it Chex Mix the Remix. Ooh. Yeah, it had a bad boy tie-in. Yeah.

Anyway, so we were at, and then I couldn't find my keys. I'm like, oh, fuck. I think I left them in the booth. So then I had to go ask the waitress, who I just did not really tip. I'm like, hey, did you guys find, like, car keys? And they're like, I don't know. You can go look. So I'm just like digging.

And it's just like a nightmare. I don't want to be there. I'm like just looking around. And then I found out I left my car keys in my car. And I had to call my parents and they had to drive all the way up to taliesin to get me a spare key but i had also called roadside assistants and they literally my parents and roadside got there at the same exact time and the roadside guy was uh not happy yeah he probably has a ton of other shit to do and he's like you fucking idiot oh

dude i've locked my keys in my car growing up like at least eight times like and then to a point where like i had to have a i kept a spare in my wallet smart and it like got me and it was like uh i don't know if you ever had this but like back in the day they would give you like an emergency key that was a plastic it was like a credit card so it was like a card and in the middle of the card was your key that you'd have to punch out like you know you ever buy like a do you remember buying old game like old things you have to put together and there's like a big plastic sheet and you have to like twist them out of it that's what this key was yeah and i use it very carefully because it could break like a motherfucker in your car and you're all stressed

out too yeah okay um yeah i've locked uh i've locked my keys in my car a couple times the most notable one was uh in college when i was at Paper Moon, the apartment complex we were living in. The washer and dryers were not in our building. So you had to like, it was like a short walk, but I was on my way to work. And then they made us wash our own aprons, which is like, what? Like, so they stopped paying for an apron service. Because at the end of the day, you should just throw your aprons in a bin, and then people come up and clean them.

But now it was like, okay, we're going to give you three aprons, and you need to make sure they're clean when you come to work. You're like, all right. So I put mine in the wash the night before, or I left them in the dryer or something. And I had to be at work at 6 a.m., like be there at 6. I think be there at 5.45, actually. And I was like, oh, fuck, I left my aprons in the thing.

I better go get them. Get out of my car. It's running. I shut the door. No! Go grab my aprons. And then I get back to the car, which is still running, doors locked with the key in the ignition.

And I was like, wow, wow, wow, wow. Why did it take them so long to figure out a way to not make it be able to lock your... I guess this one locks your manual. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I got that push button shit now because I'm rich. You know what I'm saying? But no, it's impossible now to lock your keys in the car.

You can't lock... If you have a fob, right? Yeah. Let's say your girlfriend has a fob and your fob's in the car, it won't lock you have a fob right yeah let's say your girlfriend has a fob and your fob's in the car it won't lock you talking about my side piece i'm not gonna give her access to my car dog he's jose loyal he's all that's true dude that's true that's no yeah it's so much better now too where it's like even if your key is within five feet of the car you can unlock it like i can just put my hand in the handle.

Yeah. But, yeah, you were just at the mercy of locksmiths. They were like, okay, cool, it's $100, and I'll be there in four hours. You're like, ah, fuck. Ooh, I never called a locksmith. I've always called roadside. You got to call roadside. I've used roadside assistance so many. Dude, like, me getting in car accidents is not a big deal at all.

I've dealt with it so many times that i know it's so it's it's such an easy like literally like the last time my car got fucked up it was in the shop for a month and a half and i didn't care i fucking just did because like it's like from being in an accident to me being in a rental takes like an hour and a half yeah they're like oh mr khan come on right yeah you're just like all right who gives a fuck you just ride in the tow truck with your car and then yeah and then i've only i've only been in a couple accidents yeah riding in the tow truck is weird really oh yeah you do this a lot or dude one time um when uh one time when I, you remember this, me and you were both on our way separately to do different shows in D.C. And like a freak snowstorm came out of nowhere while me and you were both on the road.

Do you remember that? Oh, yeah. I got marooned. Yeah. Yeah. And what's maroons mean? I was eating a banana. Yeah. And what's maroons mean? I was eating a banana. Oh.

How come we don't get paid for this podcast? Yeah, right? It just means you're stuck. Yeah, yeah. Like marooned on an island. So, like, you, I had literally just, like, it was weird. Cause it was like supposed to just be flurries. And it went from like,

I was on two 95 and it like from literally like in, in, I would say the span of minutes, it goes from flurrying to roads covered. Yeah. And it was ice. Yeah. Yeah.

I was, dude, I was, yeah, I was on my way to do rag time and I was like, no fucking way. And then, yeah, that it was ice. Ice, yeah. Dude, I was on my way to do ragtime, and I was like, no fucking way. And then, yeah, that's the thing. It was only like two inches of snow, but it was fucking Armageddon. Oh, yeah, and it was rush hour.

Because to make it from here to D.C., we have to leave at the latest 6.30. Yeah, I was on the road at 6. I went straight from work, and then I texted rami and i was like dude i'm not going this is insane he's like oh you pussy whatever i'm like oh yeah i am not risking it and then i think i still have the picture but i tried to do like a google maps because everything kept shutting down and so google maps when you look at it it would show you where the accidents were and it had like a little symbol of like a car with like another car. And the entire thing was a giant ring of like just accident, accident, accident.

I was like, fuck. And then I was trying to get to a hotel and my car was massive. I had a Chevy Caprice. It was the Grand Marquis. So it's this fucking massive car. It's horrible in the snow. And I got back to 295 North and everybody everybody's going slow as fuck, and I'm still sliding. So I was like, all right, fuck it.

I'm going to take the first exit and just hope to get to a hotel. Sliding everywhere. I slid into a curb, came within like a foot of hitting a parked car. I was so, like, just anxious as fuck. And then I was like, oh, God, there's a hotel. Perfect. I, like, go slow as shit into the parking lot, park. I go in and I'm like, hey, I need to get a room.

I can't go anywhere. The guy's like, yeah, no, definitely. But we're sold out. And I was like, you have zero rooms? So I made it all the way to a hotel. Oh, my God. And then they're like, you got to keep going. I was like, fuck.

So luckily I made it to another one. But God damn, what a pain in the ass. Do you remember how much you had to pay for one night? $4,000. But it was the best night of my life from Marriott. You got a pen. You got the penthouse. Yeah, they're like, sir, we have other rooms.

I'm like, I'll get the penthouse. I forget. It was like, I don't know, like $150. You have to spend $150 for one night. But it was worth it. Not even an entire night. I mean, the thing took forever. I think I got there at like 10 or something.

You know what I mean? Like, it was insane. There's nothing more. Like, being in a hotel is cool. But then when you're there alone in an emergency situation, it must be, you're just like, this sucks. Dude, I was just thrilled I didn't get in an accident. Yeah. Or that I was, like, stuck on the side of the road.

It was fucking great. I was, okay, so I had just made it to the edge of D.C., and I was like, I can't do this. Like, this is horrible. So I turn around, and I'm like, all right, I'm going to go home. And then it was, and then I was using Waze. And so Waze was taking me like, holy shit, like to wait, like just because all major roads are shut down.

It's taking me through all these insane neighborhood back windy roads that probably don't get plowed for three weeks until after it snows. Right, right. And you're just sliding around. You're like, thanks, Waze. Appreciateows. Right, right. And you're just sliding around. Thanks, Waze. Appreciate it. Yeah, I just passed the Goonie kids. And I don't even know what that means.

So, I remember I was near College Park and I was like, it was taking me to Route 1 and I slid down this hill and I slid down this hill. I slid down this hill.

I just have a Honda Civic. It's like a two-wheel drive car or whatever, front-wheel drive, whatever the bad one is. It's not four-wheel drive. And I just fucking slid all the way down this hill. Literally, I slid all the way across Route 1, and thank God no cars were coming i did not get hit and i'm just on the wrong side of route one just hanging out just keeps like my car just

keeps like like you know stall not stalling but like just like you can't move and i was like this sucks and luckily i was dating a girl at the time who lived in Silver Spring. So I just drove. I finally, I was like, after like an hour and a half of trying to drive home, I was like, fuck this. I'll just drive to her house. Nice. So I went to her house, had some sex. It was tight. Woke up in the morning.

Brutal night. Brutal night. I don't know if this was. Yeah, I think I woke up in the morning, and as I was driving home, it was still snow on the ground or snowing. I was coming on the on-ramp for 32, and this girl, as I was coming on, was spinning, hit my car. My car starts spinning, and now I'm just on the side of the road and she was like so upset she got out of the car she's like crying and i like i was like it's all right i gave her a hug and we exchanged information all right wow this turned into an assault story now turned into a me too

story like hey come here sweetheart don't cry so she took me back to her house yeah you're like let me sit on my lap that might calm you down down, baby doll. Come here. So, yeah, dude, I was stuck on the side road. Her car was fine. She drove away. It took a tow truck like an hour and a half to get there. And when the tow truck guy came, like, your car company, your, like, insurance company, depending on what policy you have like your tow truck you get free towing for like the first 15 or 20 miles and it's like a dollar after every mile yeah yeah so i'm in like silver spring i want my car to be towed to timbuktu yeah of course you do this dude was

so mad he was like you can't go anywhere closer. I was like, no. This is where I get my cars. This is where I get my car fixed. And he's like, you don't want to go anywhere closer. And I'm like, no, dude. And he's like so pissed that he has to be doing this. It's snowing.

And then also he has to give me a ride because there's also a rental car the the car like a rental car company has a pick that up well but it's on the premises of the car on the body shop yeah and so he's taking me then we have to go through a toll and i'm like oh i don't have any cash on me dude so this is like yo it's like 2006 dog you know yeah so he has to give like seven dollars in tolls or something and then um and then also you're like do you mind if i run a couple bits by you yeah so i'm a school psychologist yeah he's like jesus so then we get like Timonium, and I'm like, do you want me to go to an ATM? He's like, well, I'd like my money back. And I'm like, all right, all right, well, let's stop at this gas station.

I'll go to this ATM. Oh, it was such a bummer, dude. Yeah, you mind if we stop at Trader Joe's? I actually have to get a couple things. I spent like two hours with this guy. And I was trying to make small talk and it wasn't fun. It wasn't great.

Yeah, he fucking hated you. Oh, like, so, Ravens are doing good. He's like, I hope you die.

Yeah, but, you know, he's just, it's his job. I don't know. Wow. Okay.

All right. That ended a lot better than I thought it would. What did you think I was going to say? I thought you were going to diminish the man's position in life.

No. You're like, well, you know. I'm just saying like, you're getting paid per whatever, so. Yeah. I thought it would. What did you think I was going to say? I thought you were going to diminish the man's position in life. No! I'm just saying, like, you're getting paid per whatever, so. Yeah. Yeah, that is true. You're getting paid per mile, dude. Just relax. I mean, whatever.

Yeah. My last accident was on Falls Road here in Hamden. Oh, I remember. Yeah, dude just hit me. I was parked, and then he just rear-ended me pretty good. And then I knew it was going to be trouble when he said, well, we don't have to tell the cops. And I'm like, right, yeah.

Yeah, fuck that. Yeah, and then it turned out, like, luckily, I took a picture of his insurance. And then so this guy, he was driving his girlfriend's car. I'm thinking he didn't have a license guy he was driving his girlfriend's car i'm thinking he didn't have a license because he was not on the policy and then like they wouldn't answer their phone when i was trying to call them and then so luckily i had pictures and everything and then their insurance company covered it but initially they were like yeah we can't get a hold of them

so i'm like so because they're not answering the phone you're not gonna pay to fix my fucking car that's crazy dude yeah but luckily it got settled uh i don't think i would be if somebody hit my car and was like hey let's not get insurance involved i'd be like you can go fuck yourself no no he said cops he said cops he's like because because you're supposed to because that was the thing they said too was like was like, well, is there a police report? And it's like, no. Well, that's an interesting thing also from being in so many accidents. Break it down. Cops will not make a report unless someone leaves in an ambulance anymore in the state of Maryland. So there is no reason.

The only time you call the cops is if someone's refusing to exchange information or anything like that. But if no one's hurt, you don't need the cops there. Well, that's good to know because next time somebody rear-ends me, I'm going to beat their ass, and then the ambulance will have to come to take them away. You know what I mean? Loophole. One time I wasn't even asking for it.

I got in an accident, and I had to go to do some PT. So the other times you were asking for it? Yeah. No, I meant the money. So I got like $5,500. Oh, I thought you were like, I times you were asking for it? Yeah. No, I meant the month. So I got like $5,500. Oh, I thought you were like, I wasn't even asking for it. What were you wearing when you got in an accident, Omar? I know.

Do you think people have gotten better at texting and driving? I feel like you don't hear too many more horror stories. I tell you what, I certainly have. Oh, dude, I'm killing it. Yeah. Literally. it. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. Yeah.

No, yeah. That's like a thing everyone pretends to be upset about that people, it's like, you do it. Everyone does it.

It is. Everyone does it. It's a crazy thing. Like, dude, next time you're like walking or running, look in a person's car. I would say seven out of ten people are literally have their phone Like, dude, next time you're, like, walking or running, look in a person's car.

I would say 7 out of 10 people are literally have their phone in one hand. Oh, yeah. I mean, even when you're driving, if you look over at the car next to you, somebody's just like, huh? Yeah, I remember I had a joke, like, on Facebook. I saw on the memories. It was like, yeah, when I teach my kid to drive, I'm going to teach him the 10, the one hand on 10, one hand on iPhone method. Nice. Thank you.

Real quick. I found the, can you see that? Oh, oh yeah. You should post that when we put this. Yeah. That's the picture of all,

of all the fucking accidents. That's insane. It's literally every highway outside of DC. Yeah. Just covered in accidents. Um, yeah, but no, luckily, so I had that one and then I had another one on the exit for, highway outside of DC. Just covered in accidents. Yeah, but no. Luckily, so I had that one and then I had another one on the exit for

28th Street where there was Black Ice and I don't want to bring race into it, but it was Black Ice. Black Ice Tea. Black Ice Tea was in the middle of the road. That's just part of his name. It's always in parentheses.

It's just for people who are unsure. Yeah, he's like, please, my dad was Black Ice Tea. Call me Ice Tea. Please. It would be so formal. Yeah, yeah. No, there was Black Ice, and then I slid. So the off-ramp goes up and down.

So then I slid into the wall, and then another dude had already gotten in an accident, and then I hit that. Then a car came out of nowhere and slammed mine into the guardrail oh it's good times and it was a young kid i might have told this story before but the kid was so funny he like left the scene of the accident because a cop came like a transit police cop he's like so where's where's the driver of this vehicle who hit your car like i don't, I don't know. Did you get a picture or something? No, he came back. He walked to the gas station at the bottom of the off ramp, and he came back, and he was holding hot cocoa.

The guy's like, sir, you cannot leave the scene of an accident. Where did you go? He's like, I got cocoa. It's cold. And it was like this young, black, kind of feminine teen. He's like, you cannot leave an accident. He goes, this is my first accident. God.

I like that he's kind of pulling like the wine scene. He's trying to get sympathy. You know, like wine scene with the. The walker. The walker. And this kid's like, hey, guys, I'm just a little cold, scared boy. Yeah, I'm just a cold. I needed my hot cocoa.

My first accident. That's great. Yeah. It was his mom's just a cold. I needed my hot cocoa. It's my first accident. That's great. Yeah, it was his mom's car, too. I would have been freaking out. But he was like, God damn, I really need a hot chocolate. I got in an accident. It was ironic. I was driving my buddy, Chris LaMartina, friend of the pod.

Friend of the pod. To pick up his car from a body shop. So we're sitting at a red light. I'm the first car at the light. So we're chatting about horror movies or scary, spooky stuff, whatever Chris talks about. Sure. And he makes horror movies

and he's an adult that needs to grow up. Hey, don't we all? Hey, well, that's true. And so we're talking and we just hear this kind of faint boom. And then we hear, and this is all in split seconds, but everything slows down. So you hear boom, boom, boom.

And then we turn around. We're like, boom. And so it was a four-car accident. And it was hilarious. Oh, go ahead. Did it hit you, or it happened behind you? It hit. So, yeah, it hit us. So we were part of it. But we were in the front. Oh, go ahead. Did it hit you or it happened behind you? It hit. So, yeah, it hit us.

So we were part of it. But we were in the front. We were just sitting. Gotcha. Yeah. And so I get out of the car and it is like we are like near like Sinai Hospital, but still in the city. So not a great part of town. Sure.

And a lot of meth, white trash. The car behind us is like... A lot of Bill Batemans. A couple and a passenger in the back. Immediately when the thing happens, the passenger in the back gets out and just walks away, never comes back. He's like, I have warrants. I am out of here. The lady who caused the accident refuses to get out of her car, refuses to give anyone her insurance insurance.

And I was just like, God fucking damn. So I immediately, I was like, fuck it. I'm calling the cops. So the cop comes and like the ladies like refusing, just like being annoying about it.

And it's just like, Oh, Oh. And then, uh, being annoying about it, and it's just, like, ugh, ugh, and then, so then the white trash couple in the Honda Civic, like, they're yelling at the lady, they're complaining about that she doesn't have any insurance, guess what, when I asked her in their insurance, oh, my dad's bringing it, he's on his way, I'm like, what the fuck is going on, and I'm, like, 24 years old, and I i have i'm ready to go call i got my insurance i'm taking pictures of everyone i'm trying to take pictures of all the license i'm like come

on guys let's go let's go and uh so anyway whatever we like finally we exchange insurance and like blah blah but then i had to go to, I went to PT because like my back legitimately was hurting. And then. Sure. Yeah. Not to, I don't know if I, who cares? Well, let's just say some people might have made up a story. Some people.

To also get money and maybe help pay for their wedding. But, you know, who knows? Some people, yeah. It's like, yeah, my back, my neck. Oh, God, it's all so bad. Yeah, that's how that person sounds. Yeah, he's like, ah, this accident's so bad, it gave me type 1 diabetes. They knocked it right into me.

This accident's worse than the movies I make. Talk about a horror show. I'm injured. All right all right guy we can uh don't tag him when we uh oh i love chris he asked me to um i got one of the sweetest messages i ever got he was like josh you have muscles right do you want to be a stripper in my next movie i was like oh what an offer i love the opening i'm in oh are you are you going to do it? Yeah. It was supposed to be this month, but it's getting bumped for coronavirus. Yeah.

I mean, just don't mention him. Not because we're making fun of his movies. That's a joke. But the other part. I don't even know how that relates to him. Yeah. Actually, you're right. I don't know why this white trash guy would lie to insurance companies.

But dude. Yeah. Whoever he is. Filing an insurance complaint where you have to give information for three other people is horrific. It is. It's a nightmare. Oh, dude,

to get everything in line. Yeah. Yeah. Damn, Cobb is, look at Cobb. He's just fucking, can you see him? Dude, he is zonked.

He is. He's living the life. the life oh dude we fucking went on a walk there you go yeah no i've been taking boo to the park he gets to zoom around it's great and uh dude we gotta we gotta give boo a haircut and i don't know how that's gonna go do you have a um got a buzzer yeah yeah just get a guard Put the guard on like Yeah Put two? Put it on two Yeah The problem is though

His paws Like hair grows in between So we're gonna have to get that with scissors Gonna be a pain in the ass I would say give him some CBD oil Okay, alright Alright, hippie Yeah

That brings us to this month's sponsor Yeah Yeah, no I wanna do it when he's being bad All right, hippie. Yeah. That brings us to this month's sponsor. Yeah. Yeah. No, I want to do it when he's being bad and just have the buzzer all the time. So he associates it with, like, being, you know, getting in line, you know? So anytime he's fucking up, I just turn the buzzer on. He becomes a good boy. Ooh.

Just he's, like, barking too much, and I just buzz a piece of him, like the jackass thing, where they would just buzz a chunk of their head. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just do that to Boo. He's like barking too much And I just buzz a piece of him Like the jackass thing Where they would just buzz A chunk of their head Oh yeah And just do that to Boo He's like shit That's how you should do That's how you should buzz him

And just make Have a million videos Of you going Out of nowhere And then eventually Like a month later He'll be buzzed Yeah

I just do jackass with my dog Hi I'm Josh Kaderna, and this is buzzing the dog. And then I'll do really well, like Bam Margera. Have you seen that guy? He's doing well. Hey, man. All this jack. Yeah.

The whole crew's doing really well. But yeah, dude, Boo's going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. Does Cobb still have his balls? No. Does he hump stuff? It's very rare. Dude, for some reason, Boo has been humping. He has like a little bed.

And pretty much any time we do a Zoom, he's fucking his bed. That's hilarious. Maybe he wants attention. A hundred percent. It's so weird though Like as soon as we start Looking at a laptop He's like alright

I'm gonna go He's like hey If they're looking at porn Yeah It's like I assume That's what it is I don't know No he never does

He doesn't help any Copy's probably like One of the more Chill dogs I've met Yeah He's a good boy He's a really good boy He's a really good boy. He's seven,

eight years old. Damn. Yeah, he's a pit boxer. Damn. He's still got a pretty good youthful energy, though. He does.

He fucking, yeah, he fucking, if like he's ready to go for a walk or if he has energy, I posted a video on my Instagram story.

He'll do that thing where he just looks at you and he's like, ugh, ugh. Yeah. He's like, let's go. He'll do that thing where he just looks at you and he's like, ugh, ugh. Yeah. He's like, let's go. He'll start barking. He wants to play.

But you don't know him. It's probably scary as shit because it's a pit bull barking at you. Well, that is the funny thing. I would go to your house and he's like, oh, oh, oh. He's like a little kid. He's like, oh, my God. Hey, hey. I know.

And then if you go to play with a toy, he's like, I'll fucking rip your arm off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, oh yeah. I like, uh, the other day we were playing and,

uh, you know, he like wants you to like pull the toys that are in his mouth, but Karen doesn't like me. She doesn't like, she, apparently you're not supposed to play like tug with, uh,

your dog, especially a pit bull. Cause their whole thing is, is like they latch on their jaws are. Yeah. They're like bread. Yeah. And when you feel that you're like,

Oh, okay. This is like a killing machine here. Oh my God. Yeah. Like it's so crazy. He even like, yeah,

I experienced his real strength, uh, yesterday. So, okay. So like when you were playing and like, Karen doesn't like, cause like she was like, she was always saying like, when you were playing, and, like, Karen doesn't like, because, like, she was, like, she was always saying,

like, you're supposed to yell drop, let him drop the toy, then you throw it. But, like, you don't want to train him to hold on, to latch onto something and shake, you know, like, you got to train him to drop stuff when you want him to drop stuff. But anyway, so, you know, we play.

But, yeah, we've been taking him on a lot of walks. And he likes chasing squirrels. Oh, interesting. And sometimes I encourage it. Because if you go like, what's that? He'll perk up and he'll look. He's like, you tell me. Well, I'll try to kill it.

If Karen yells mouse, then he'll go run in the kitchen, look for a mouse. Because at the one place he lived in, there'd be a mouse all the time, and she would yell. Oh, wow. Yeah, so he's trained to look for mice. But, yeah, so one time, like, if you don't know, like, there's a squirrel,

and he'll start to go for it, and you're holding onto his leash. Dude, it's insane, like, how strong he is. Oh, he's yanking your arm out of the socket. Yeah, it was really it hurt like it hurt my back i was like dude i was like if this guy that's what's so crazy about having a dog like a pit bull is like if this thing if it wanted to it could just murder us both like it's nothing it's crazy um uh our buddy chris milner um i was at his apartment and he had a pit bull named Prince I don't think he was the The best

Yeah Prince was a sweet boy He just had Had some issues Yeah But I was gonna say I don't think Chris was probably Like the most responsible dog owner

I think he was He was pretty good They They got the dog From somebody else That wasn't Oh okay The best I think But he was like Josh Let's walk the dog from somebody else that wasn't the best, I think.

But he was like, Josh, let's walk the dog. We'll walk Prince. I'll let you hold the leash. It'll be the closest thing you've ever done to walking around with a loaded gun. That's a good way to put it. Yeah, Bill Burr had that joke. He's like, you owe it to yourself to walk a pit bull once in your life because people

60 feet away just start crossing the other side of the sidewalk. That's what coronavirus is now. I know. It's crazy. We're all pitbulls. We're all Mr. Worldwide. You know? He's dreaming. Is he?

Yeah, is he? Getting shaky? Oh, he was before. Yeah, they do like that. Yeah, I saw him moving his paws like he was running one time. Mm-hmm. Yeah, if that's just what their dreams are about, it's just like, God damn it, it'd be nice to just run.

That's a good dream right there. Wake up, get some water. You know, what a life. His dreams are probably just him hanging out with Cameron with me not there. Or just me being the part of the dog and him being in bed, having breakfast. Yeah. That's the one thing, like, I've never really, like, like, I live with Boo, but, you know, Boo was, like, it's just different.

Like, I feel like Cobb is, like, now my dog. And you feel, like, I've never grew up with a dog or anything, but I have this like weird guilt. Like every time I'm eating, the dog is just like, yo, I thought we were cool.

Like, why do you, you're just going to eat without me all the time? Like, I feel so guilty every time I eat. And so I like, uh, but Cobb never begs for food.

Cause Karen's really good about never feeding him outside of his bowl. So like even if we do give him food, we put it in his bowl so he never begs for food. Oh, dude, Boo is the opposite. Yeah. As soon as you start, like he knows the sound of like cutting into vegetables, opening a bag. He can be all the way upstairs. and if I open a bag of chips, he just magically appears. He's like, hey, what are we doing?

What's up? Yeah, so Cobb's really good about that. Like I hate dogs that beg for food. It's pretty annoying. But I get it because it's like you're just eating all the time, and these people, these things rely on you for food, and they're like, you're my homeboy. We're family, whatever.

I don't know what they think in their head, but they're just like, bro, what the fuck? And you just look at him like, I don't know. Yesterday, Karen and I went on a two-hour walk. He's probably starving. He hasn't eaten yet, and we buy these fucking bagels, these double bacon, double cheese, double egg bagels. And we're just eating in front of him.

He's just like, what the fuck? So I just kept throwing him pieces of my bagel. I felt so bad. Yeah. You guys are like, can we get two of the fuck you cobs? Yeah. And he's like, man, what the hell? No, dude, Boo wants everything and anything.

But he's such a little guy, and it is annoying. But it's way different with Cobb, who's a massive, the size of a person. If they're begging, it's pretty serious. But with Boo, a little 10-pound guy, you're like, hey, guy, chill out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And plus, Karen's parents pretty much give him anything that he wants. Oh, I forgot how much they spoil him. They make him work for it a little bit,

but, like, Karen's dad will be eating, and Boo's just freaking out, like, stomping all over his lap, and he's like, Boo, hold on. Just hold on. And he's like, and he's just, like, vibrating on the couch. He's like, see, he's waiting.

I'm like, no, dude, this is not good behavior. I also, Karen was telling me that dogs don't really have a sense of time like we do. Dude, but Boo does. Oh, really? Because, speaking of food, we have him on the automatic feeder now. Oh. And. Like it disperses food at certain times of day.

Yep, yep. Because he kept getting up super early. And I was like, dude, I do not want to get up to give you food. Because we had to put him on a diet for the vet. So he gets dinner at 5. Where's your vet, Joe Rogan? Yeah. He's like, all right, Boo's got to be intermittent fasting.

Yeah, we have Boo on the all-meat diet. He's eating elk. He's eating elk. He's eating elk. He's eating DMT all the time. We got him one of those deprivation tanks, a little doggy deprivation tank. It was expensive, but worth it. Boo's just in there with sunglasses.

He's got like a felt Bob Marley poster that when you put a black light on it, there's all these weird colors. Yeah, yeah. He's just, yeah, he's like, man, I don't know. I'm really into the UFC. I'm like, all right, that's cool. What's the guy's name? Dana White. White.

Big Trump guy. Sure, yeah. Trump was an early investor, I think. Well, also, the UFC couldn't get into New York for the longest time, and he was one of the big proponents of trying to get it into New York. Anyway, you got Boo on the automatic feeder. But, yeah, he gets dinner at 5.30, and it's not right at 5.30, but I would say pretty much from 4 30 and on he's like

he will just watch the feeder like he just kind of knows like where he gets a little tense even if he's upstairs he's just staring out the door just waiting for the food to drop and uh it's really weird so it's not like perfect but still he has, a little bit of awareness of time. That's interesting. That's like, well, so there's, it's, you know, it's classical conditioning, like Pavlov's dogs. That's what that's called, classical conditioning. Yeah, Kaderna's dog. Yeah. So there's, like, you know, there's, like, schedules. So there's, like, intermittent.

That's when it's random. Then there's fixed. So he's on a fixed schedule. So he knows just about every time. And it's, interestingly enough, a behavior that's intermittently or reinforced randomly every now and then, those behaviors are the most difficult to extinct because when you don't know something is you when you don't really know when or why something is coming but you attribute it to a behavior you're just going to keep doing that so like so if you knew every time you press a lever and food comes

but the one time you don't press it food doesn't't come. You might try it one or two more times. You'll never try it again. Right, right. Because you're just like, oh, this lever's broken. But if you never knew why food was coming from this lever, you would try it way more before you stopped trying it. Oh, yeah. That's interesting.

Yeah, no, where his feeder is, it's like his church. Like, he prays to it. Yeah. He'll go in front of it and just lay down and look at it be like okay i don't know how you work but please put food out yeah they did they did it with pigeons they did this like experiment where uh they would they wanted the pigeon to like do a certain behavior um when they would get these food pellets dropped in and then so these pigeons would like create all these elaborate dances and shit to get food pellets when it was just being randomly given to them.

Isn't that interesting? Yeah. It's like religion. Yeah, and we're all just pigeons. Yeah, we're all dumb. Yeah, absolutely. Speaking of, happy Easter, everybody. Happy Easter.

We got a ham. Oh, we got some. A baby ham. Oh, okay, absolutely. Speaking of, happy Easter, everybody. Happy Easter. Are you guys going to – we got a ham. Oh, we got – A baby ham. Oh, okay, cool. Good. Just a baby. It's like it's really tight. It can fit in your hand.

Listen, I don't know what Muslims eat, but if you eat babies, that's fine. You know, all cultures are beautiful in whatever it is you guys do. Yeah, shaped in a ham shape. Listen, okay. All right, just because it's a Jewish baby. Well. I don't know what you people do. That's fine.

That's fine. Yeah, we got a hamburger to make mashed potatoes. Ooh-wee. And some Brussels sprouts. And then Karen wants to make lemon bars for dessert. I've been pigging. I got to go on a no sugar thing for a minute, dude. I've been a monster. Interesting. I've been pigging. I got to go on a no sugar thing for a minute, dude. I've been a

monster. Interesting. I've been working out pretty much every day. I tell you, when I come out of this, my ab game is going to be ridiculous. It's hard for me to do home workouts, man. I cannot. I just run every other day, but I got to start doing home workouts. I do not

have the motivation. Yeah, and if people haven't turned off the podcast by now, they certainly are. Yeah. Because I almost, this morning, I woke up super early. I woke up at like 6, and I couldn't get back to sleep. And then I was looking at Instagram, and there was an ad for resistance bands.

And the resistance bands you could lock into your door frame. I saw. I was like, oh, shit, I should get some of those. I saw. I was like, oh, shit. I should get some of those. I know. I wish I had weights, dude. I wish I had weights. I don't have weights.

It fucking sucks. And then when you, they're sold out everywhere. We went to Target. And Karen got lucky and found like two six-pound weights. But yeah, I was like, fuck, if I had weights, I could do weight shit. But yeah, I should be doing workouts at home. Like more like body weight workout stuff. At least push-ups, sit was like, fuck, if I had weights, I could do weight shit. But, yeah, I should be doing workouts at home. Like, more, like, body weight workout stuff. At least push-ups, sit-ups, burpees, all that kind of shit.

Yeah, I went for a run the other day, and my knee the next day really hurt. So I don't know what the fuck I'm doing wrong. Yeah, you might just, I don't know, maybe need new shoes? That could be. Yeah, they're either a year or two years old. Who knows? Yeah, I've just been eating like a maniac, dude. It's bad.

Yeah. Yeah. I've been trying to space it out a little bit, the snacking. So we're really trying not to leave the house or go go to a store really just because Karen has type 1. So she's like really at risk. So we're trying to just go like if we go get food, we're doing the curbside pickup thing where you don't really have to go inside. Yeah, yeah. Like open air, that type of thing.

And we've gotten some stuff delivered. And there was an app that I kept seeing. I think, I forget what it was for. Maybe it was in like Words with Friends or something, but you get, like, those, like, you play, and then it's, like, an app pops up that you can't close for 15 seconds, and it was this thing called GoPuff. Have you heard of that?

Mm-mm. So it's, like, it's basically, like, a convenience store, basically, so you can get stuff like chips and Cheetos and shit like that. And so we got, like like two bags of cheetos some honey mustard and onion pretzels all kinds of just like munchy stuff yeah it was great and then karen's dad was craving uh top ramen and he couldn't find the soy the soy sauce one and i was like i got you dog so i got like five of those. Top Ramen is such a weird thing to crave. It's good, man. I love you.

I fucking hate Top Ramen. You just haven't done it right. You got to zhuzh it up. Put an egg in there, some pepper, some garlic. Grosses me out. I also have like, speaking of conditioning, when I was like in middle school, I puked from Top Ramen and I'll never eat it again. Oh, there you go.

Yeah. That's the association right there. But also, I remember it's like 10 cents a thing. It's like maybe like a dollar now or maybe like 80 cents or something. Yeah, or something crazy. It's something crazy. It's just like, why does something cost less than a dollar? That's a whole meal.

That doesn't seem right. Well, that's proof that God exists. Speaking of Easter, he is risen and he's making top ramen, baby. Oh, you know what's really gross? Like, kids eat these all the time. Like, it's like a cup of noodles or whatever. Yeah, that is a little more. Oh, my God.

It's just like kids eat that shit all the time. And when I see adults eating it, I'm like, bro, what the fuck, dude? You make, you're making decent, just fucking buy, even just buy like a fucking nice frozen dinner. You can buy a nice, go to Whole Foods and buy a nice frozen dinner. Right, right. No, yeah, those are like just pure sodium. That's probably like 120% of your sodium for the day. And then imagine having to eat that and then you're just doing a whole day of school.

Sounds like a nightmare. But speaking of junk, the GoPuff app, Karen wanted to make some bolognese. She was like, we'll see if they have crushed tomatoes. And I was like, they might have a can of it. I don't know. Because they have some stuff where it's like, hey, you want a frozen pizza, but it's a cauliflower crust? We're like, yeah, I'm being healthy, but it's still junk food. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I type in crushed, and the first thing that pops up is the orange soda crush. No tomatoes. And then the next two things were weed, not crushers, but grinders popped up. And then I was like, oh, GoPuff. This is just an app for stoners. So you can order junk food, and then you can also order... Oh! You can order a grinder.

Then they had rolling papers and all this other pot-associated shit. They even had those blowtorch lighters. That's hilarious. But they also had Lysol wipes and shit, too. So I was like, oh, cool, I'll get those. How long does it take? I would say it took under an hour. Holy shit.

God damn, there's so many apps. I've never used a delivery, a food delivery. Dude, I wouldn't use it if we weren't in this situation. We're just trying to be extra, extra cautious about going places and stuff. So, I mean, if it was any other scenario, I would fucking just go to 7-Eleven and get chips or go to the grocery store. But, yeah. Yeah. We bought, dude, we've been drinking.

I drink a whole bottle of whiskey in a week. And then Karen and I picked up a bottle of tequila and a bottle of mescal the other day and my bottle was almost like two days ago my bottle's almost half gone jesus christ it's just so fucking bored and i'm like fuck it let's just i just make it making cocktails just awesome cocktail and i'm like you know what i don't know if i need to up like after all this i'm like i can make dope cocktails at home. I don't know if I'm going to go out as much. Or I'll go out, but I'll have one cocktail instead of four and spend $400.

That's the one thing. It's like you go to Clavel, which is amazing, but you have two tacos, four cocktails, and you're spending $100 for two people. You're doing that a couple of times a week. You know, it's insane. I'm saving. This pandemic is helping me save so much money. It's great.

I'm not filling up gas. My gym membership is on hold. Oh, here's a fun thing, guys. Airlines, these fucking cocksuck. Airlines are such cocksuckers. I hope

every single one of them goes bankrupt. I hope all of them have to fucking I hope none of them make it through this financial disaster. Well, they employ a lot of people. Well, did you hear that brown guy?

Did you hear him? Whoa. I don't know what race has to do with it buddy he uh i'll send you the link some guy was explaining he he was saying he's like no dude fuck these companies let them go bankrupt they will not they he's like like he's like that's like the secret wall street hides it's like when a company company like is gonna go bankrupt like they're not gonna fire all their employees and all their employees will get some money before they leave and blah, blah, blah. I don't know.

I'll send you the link. All right. Yeah, I don't know about all of them. Anyway, fuck airlines. Because these airlines, dude, so we, Karen and I, these last four days would have been on spring break, like on vacation, which is a little justification of my eating habits.

But, uh. Sure. Spring break. So, we booked flights. The flight to go there and the flight to come back are two different airlines we booked because it was cheaper that way. Yeah. So, no airlines are trying to give people their money back like they're like we'll give you a voucher or a credit a credit yeah and it's like dude go

fuck yourself this is a pandemic like i don't know when i'm gonna fly next also i hope your company doesn't survive so i want my fucking money back. Right. So I called Delta, and I was just like, I just lied to them. I was like, look, we both got laid off. We need money to pay rent and buy groceries, and we're very scared. And she's like, okay, I'm very sorry. I don't know if we can do that for you. Hold on. Let me check.

Boom. Got our money back. Nice. Then the other airline, I've never even heard of this airline, Allegiant? That's the one I took to North Carolina. That one's supposed to be worse than Spirit. The flight itself was fine, and it was super cheap, too, but it only flies out of Baltimore on Thursdays and Sundays. That was the one where I got fucked, where I booked a flight, took a lift to the airport,

got a sandwich at the airport. So we're at like, what? I don't know, $40 I've spent so far. Probably more. Yeah, probably more. I get in line and then I see a lot of upset faces and I took my AirPods out. I'm like, what's going on?

They're like, the flight's fucking canceled. I was like, what? So on? They're like, the flight's fucking canceled. I was like, what? So it had been raining that day. So because of lightning or something, they canceled the flight. Did you get your money back? Well, got a credit. So they immediately gave me the flight. So I rescheduled for two months later or something like that.

See, how is that fair? How is when they fuck up you booked a service that they couldn't deliver you should get your fucking money back oh agreed but i was gonna fly again anyway like that's how they get you these fuckers well i really felt for uh there was a guy in front of me and he was like what what do you mean it's canceled this is the only weekend i can see my family i was like well well what they have to do, and that's another thing. What you could have done was force them to pay to put you on another flight that night. Because they have to do that.

Interesting. Well, that was their last flight of the day. No, no, no. They have to find another airline. They'll put you, and it's on their dime. Gotcha. If you complain. But yeah, I was already flying late

and then if they did that, I didn't want to fly out at 10pm or whatever. It was like, dude, fuck it, I'll just reschedule. Yeah, so I knew... I was just saying that to put a button on that it just felt so fucking weird to... I'm like, yes, put me in a lift to the airport where I'll get a tuna

sandwich for $15. And then I'll go back like some weird eccentric millionaire or something. Yeah, so Allegiant, I went on their website. They took down their phone number. You couldn't talk to anyone on their chat. And they just had a message saying, we've been overwhelmed with the amount of whatever, like phone calls, request receiving, so we made it easy

for you to cancel your flight and to get a voucher or credit for the value of your flight and I was like, dude, fuck that I don't want a voucher, and Karen's like, it's fine I'll just use it to go to my parents I was like, dude, fuck that. I don't want a voucher. Karen's like, it's fine.

I'll just use it to go to my parents. I was like, no, fuck them. They're not going to win. So I went on Twitter and I sent them a DM, just lied again. I was like, ah, we don't have money. We're really nervous. We both got laid off and blah, blah, blah. I can't wait to have this replayed in court.

I know. Yeah. Anyway, got our money back. Got all of our money back for our whole vacation. It was great. That's awesome. Yeah, dude. We booked an Airbnb.

Ooh. Did you hear what's going on with them? I mean, I know what's going on firsthand. Oh, I'll tell you. Yeah, yeah, here. Well, yeah, no, go ahead. No, no, go ahead. You go.

No, we'll tell you. Yeah, yeah, here. Well, yeah, no, go ahead. No, no, go ahead. You go. No, we'll get... You go. Oh, well, so, you know, when Airbnb first launched, the whole idea behind Airbnb was just, like, if you have a spare room in your house or something, you rent it out. But then it turned into people, like, using it as a business. So people would have these properties that are exclusively just Airbnb. And a lot of people switch from traditional rental properties to short-term rental properties because you can make more money. And so originally on Airbnb before COVID was a thing, you set your own cancellation policies for your property right what airbnb did for

during coronavirus was they superseded their um the property owners uh cancellation fees and just allowed everyone to cancel without penalty so then all these airbnb like landlord people are like online like complaining and everyone's just laughing at them which i do understand like their plight like that shit sucks you're out of money but i also think it's shitty to like demand money from people during a pandemic so but airbnb is not making it easy though because they're like hey they're doing the same thing. So we got this space in Miami where it was supposed to be like the bachelor, bachelorette weekend. A bunch of people were going to come down.

And so that is in, I think it's like May 14th. So it's coming up. So Airbnb had a policy, I think it was only through April, where it's like you can get a full refund. But now they've extended it, which is good. But so they're like, hey, no, this property, their cancellation policy is 50% if you cancel after 48 hours, but you can get a full refund. You just have to qualify for these four things. The government says you can't travel.

You are in the medical profession. Something about it's like your job or something like that. So it's these four things. And then you have to send in documentation proving those things, too. So it's like either a doctor said I can't go. The government says I can't go. And then you can get a full refund. Otherwise, you get the travel credit but they that might be a newer that might be a newer policy they put in place to appease because a lot of people are saying airbnb won't survive this because that's that's where i'm at is like it's and it sucks too because it's 14 people and i'm trying to get the money back but they're making it so fucking hard that sucks but you aren't allowed to leave maryland so just find that on a website somewhere. Did you know that? Oh, no, I didn't know that. Yeah, dude, you can't leave Maryland.

Hogan imposed a travel restriction outside of Maryland. Until when? Is there a date? Oh, yeah, probably not. Well, I think I want to say June something. Interesting. Yeah, look it up. He definitely said it in an address say June something. Interesting. Yeah, look it up. He definitely said it in an address.

Address. Interesting. Also, we know doctors. Just get a doctor to write you a note. Do we? I mean, I can think of a couple. I won't say them here. Oh, yeah. I'll call our Republican buddy, Dr. Drew.

Oh, true, true. Yeah, what a douchebag, yeah. I'll call our Republican buddy, Dr. Drew. Oh, true, true. Yeah, what a douchebag, dude. I hope that guy fucking does not survive this either. What an idiot. Yeah, I think he's in with the Fox News people. But why? Yeah, my whole thing was, why downplay it? It's so weird to be like, it's fine.

And he downplayed it in probably a more reckless way than Trump did. I would say it's about the same. He's a doctor, and he's just like, he's saying, he's like, they're saying don't ride the trains. I was in New York. I rode the train. Ride the trains. It's fine.

It's fine. It's fine. And then he even said in an interview clip with Segura's wife. I can't remember her name because she's not funny enough for me to remember her name on her own. Jesus Christ. So I call her Segura's wife. Jesus Christ. I'm just kidding.

But her special is bad. Yeah. But Christina P., she is in a clip with Dr. Drew where Dr. Drew is making fun of Dr. Fauci a little bit. He's like, you know, you've got to listen to Fauci. He's a very smart man. But even during the AIDS thing, he was kind of overplaying it. And I suspect he's doing the same here. And it's like, whoa.

Jesus Christ, dude. You're such like that's how cocky Dr. Drew is. It's like, yeah, it's insane. What an asshole dr drew is it's like yeah it's insane what an asshole yeah it's crazy also too to be the aids also another epidemic to be like yeah i think you really played up that aids epidemic like yeah yeah he was just saying he was a little he's just uh he was a being a uh yeah like uh making it seem worse than it is also yeah yeah, what a dickhead to be cautious about a global pandemic. I know. And to be, well, dude, they think less than 100,000 people will die now.

So that's good. Yeah. I mean, we'll see. The bad part is Trump will get the credit and he'll tell everyone he was right. Oh, of course. Of course. And he'll win. Yeah, it. Oh, of course, of course. And he'll win. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. Even if 100,000 people did die, they'd be like, he did the best he could. What are you going to do? If Obama was in, we'd all be dead. Anything that that guy does, they just turn it the other way. Like Fox News was now saying, they're like, yes, people are dying that have coronavirus,

but they're not dying of the coronavirus. It's like, okay, so these people just get coronavirus and then get hit by a bus. And you're like, well, you shouldn't count. They're also not counting. They're not counting retirement homes. My thing. Just stop. It's still recording, but it only says 44 seconds now.

What the fuck? Oh, maybe it went to a new file? Because, listen, Umar, if we have another episode where it's just me for the last five minutes. All right, let's, it's been over an hour. What should we do? Well, let's wrap it up here. What the fuck? Why does that happen?

Okay, let's at least, we'll pause. Alright. I guess. And then you can see what files are in there. Okay. Because you might have to just send me two files. Okay, does that happen sometimes? No, I don't know what that is. I might have to do a look at the settings or something.

Yeah, but at least it's still recording. Like, it never stopped recording? Yeah, it's still, but look at the time. something. Yeah, but at least it's still recording. Like, it never stops recording? Yeah, it's still... But look at the time... Can you see the timestamp? Oh, yeah, it's like a minute. That's weird. That ain't great.

What the fuck? That ain't great. Maybe it resets for some reason after an hour on its own. I'm going to Google this. Could be. Could be. Yeah.

Well, everybody, fucking be safe out there. We'll just go out on this one. Hopefully, we're still there. Another long monologue from your boy. All right. Yeah, let me know about this doctor hookup. And then also, could you find the thing? I'll look for it, too.

But if you find the Hogan thing where it says we can't travel, that would be amazing. Yeah, just Google it. I'll try to look for it. And then, yeah, all right, let's stop. I'm going to stop this. Yeah, all right, everybody, follow us on social media and all that stuff. Stay safe, Stay alive. We love you.

Bye-bye. Bye.