The Digression Sessions - Ep. 330 - Indoor Windows Open Sessions 1

Episode Date: October 19, 2020

Hola Digheads, on this week's episode, Josh and Umar are back together but podding from a distance in Umar's house recapping Umar's shows with Mark Normand and Josh's NC trip. Josh - @JoshKuderna on Twitter and @JoshKuderna on Instagram Watch Umar's special - HERE Thanks for listening, all! Do the pod a favor and rate and review the pod on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Laughable, Stitcher, & Spotify plz!

and now the podcast we're here we're gay uh hey um uh yeah over at umar's place indoors but the windows are open we're spaced out a little bit we got covid fatigue that's what it's called right when you i'm glad you kept going with it we got covid yeah and anyways it's fine we're not andrew santino you know what i mean did he get it yeah when uh now wow so yeah he was supposed to go on tour with chris difano. He's an LA comic. Yeah. Well, Chris DiStefano is going to open for him. Right, right.

Well, yeah, it was like he was going to open, but I think it was like booked. Not as like co-headlining, but you know what I mean? Chris is way funnier. Easy, easy. Wow. I think Chris is a way better comic. I like Santino a lot, though. He's real.

I got to hang out with him once. He seems like a really cool, like legitimate dude, but... He had a good hour just that night how do you say his last name uh whatever he is really funny to me stefano yeah uh gas is great oh yeah yeah i love him he cracks me up um but uh yeah no we're uh we're indoors because yeah it's a little chilly outside and that's just how it's gonna go we'll spread it out yeah we'll spread it out but uh yeah we got to catch up on some things you and i i think are both uh finally feeling normal and not hung over i got a story i was in i was in north carolina seeing my family you just put on killer shows yep um yeah let's get into it my guys yeah why why don't you want to go?

You were in another state. I fucking I drove the furthest I've ever driven by myself. I drove to North Carolina and it took like it was like nine and a half hours, plus like an extra 45 minutes for like stopping to get gas and shit like that. It's a long, long, alone. Yeah. The ride down was cool because I'd left on Thursday and I always like that feeling of going on vacation during the week where I'm like, ooh, all these people, they're driving to work or wherever I'm going on vacation.

Yeah. And then so the drive down wasn't too bad. And then there was a Tim Dillon pod with Joe Rogan that was like almost four hours. And I was like, that's. Was it? Well, it's like three. It was like three plus. And I was like, that's... Wait, was it? Well, it was like three. It was like three plus. And I was like, great.

Let it ride, boys. Yeah. And so, yeah, I got down there. And then it was nice. And it was really cool. Virginia is so fucking big. Most of the trip was in Virginia. When I drove to...

When Karen and I drove somewhere, we had to drive through. You're like, holy, you forget how big. Because it looks small. It took for fucking ever. Yeah, Virginia is huge, dude. Yeah, so I drove through Virginia, Tennessee, and then North Carolina. Yeah, drive down was good. And I was like, oh.

You drove to Tennessee? Huh? It took me through Tennessee, yeah. Because where she is in North Carolina, she's like very close to Tennessee. Shit. They touch? Yeah. No, I didn't know that.

I didn't either. Yeah. She was like, yeah, like it's like 30 miles that way. Whoa. Yeah. And so where she lives too is there's this strip of, you know, like the Pacific Coast Highway. You always see that in movies in California where it's like that windy road, but on the mountains.

So they have a thing that goes from North Carolina to Tennessee. It's called the Dragon's Tale. So it's all like the Smoky Mountains and everything over there. That must have been beautiful. So all these people, they take like their crazy cars down there. So it's weird. It's a rural town that she's in. There's like literally 8,000 people in this town.

But because it's so close to the dragon's tail people come down and they'll like ship their cars there so i'm just driving my prius and then like literally i counted eight porsches in a row just like pass me and there's like new corvettes and ferraris and shit 8 000 people yep that's more i bet more people live in hamden and Remington than oh Hamden alone dude Hopkins alone eight thousand yeah how do you meet somebody that's the town oh you meet everybody you know oh today yeah Mary well it's also it's also spread out to which is really nice like in the mountains where she uh where she is is like beautiful it was so nice um does she live alone she lives with my uncle so it's cool to like see him too and then it was funny yeah that uh that thursday that i went down like i was exhausted but we had like

a couple beers and hung out and uh then we're going to bed and then she was like trump got covid and i was like holy shit oh yeah that was thursday night that was that night dude that was weird because i went to bed early like real early i went to bed at like 8 30 or 9 that night i was exhausted yeah and i wake up to three texts at 5 a.m from different people and they all just sent me the headline yeah and i was like fuck yeah i was kind of like all right man i swear to god i thought he was gonna die yeah i mean he almost did apparently like there's all these reports too where they're like no it's not that bad like apparently it was pretty bad like his oxygen dipped a bunch of times he had to be put on oxygen and like man that would have been amazing but it's 2020 so what

are you gonna and also yeah that's his thing too is he's like ah it's not that bad it's like you had access to everything yeah you're a president he also made them sign richest he made them sign ndas too yeah i'm sure talk about it um but yeah dude the weekend it was so fucking cool um yeah we shot some guns which was really crazy hell yeah i guess i'm just into guns now. I know. It's so fun, but my uncle just had a ton of them.

So we just drove to this like kind of open field and got to shoot a bunch of shit. So look at this. This shotgun for everybody listening. Look up a bullpup. We shot that shit. Doesn't that look like like some John Wick show? Yeah, like we were shooting like small trees

and it would just cut it right in half damn it was so cool that's insane it was so cool then yeah everything's so rural and there's like just mountains everywhere and the property she stays on it's like the base of a mountain and so as you go further up the mountain there's like more and more houses and then these people own like all of the houses and so they'll airbnb a couple of those yeah so they set up a little spot with an overlook of like an above ground pool and a hot tub and everything and uh they have a golf cart that you can use to like get around so it's like have a couple beers get in the golf cart like look at the mountain hit the hot tub it was i wonder how much a golf cart costs i think a couple grand dude it'd be kind of tight just to drive one around just your nate like here yeah you know like i gotta go get a coffee yeah just get the golf cart oh i was

gonna say you're kind of admitting you're a drunk you're like i'll take the golf cart home i don't want to drive my car yeah dude i know a kid who got a dui on a bicycle mm-hmm is that horrible kyle canane has a whole bit about that oh really well he got a dui in a car also so listen the guy loves quit drinking no i don't think he did but i think he drinks way less but yeah yeah i think he got a dui on a but i just know he got pulled over on a bike by a cop for something. I think he went through a red light or something. He's like, are you serious? Yeah, that's hilarious. Damn, so that sounds fun.

Dude, it was great. Yeah, the whole thing was very fun. And then, yeah, I'm going to try to grow mushrooms, the non-psychedelic kind. My cousin got me this. They're essentially the microbes, I guess, of the mushroom. But you get a log. You drill holes in the log and then put these things in there, seal it with wax and then let it just soak in water. And then like six months later, supposedly mushrooms.

They'd grow through the wax. They come out of just out of the wood. So this way you're like keeping it in there and then it's wet. And then I guess just over time that like ferments inside. And then so it's supposed to have, I think it's pink and then i guess just over time that like ferments inside and then so it's supposed to have i think it's pink porcini mushrooms or something like okay so yeah it could be cool yeah people are really into mushrooms right now like the not like non-psychedelic mushroom well both actually i feel like both are in vogue yeah and then being like a mushroom

forager too is it there yeah our buddy alex who's a friend of the pod he did mushrooms for the first time recently uh-huh and now i think this weekend or maybe he did it last weekend i gotta reach out to him he did uh ayahuasca really yeah it's some like place in the woods in new york or something see that seems intense yeah because i think that's a big jump because and also uh i watched a documentary on it. A lady had a stroke. People have died. I believe it. Well, you also shit your pants and you throw up.

Yeah, you puke a lot. Yeah. See, even if I just got high in a circle with people, with strangers, and they started puking and shitting, I'd be like, I don't want to do that. This is kind of ruining the vibe for me well people do it for like ayahuasca is not like recreational i guess it's oh i know but i'm saying but i'm saying you like you still you're tripping like there's no way it's making your trip better or yeah i don't know i don't know like it looks

when you see it, it looks horrible. Like, you're watching someone go through it, and you're like, how can you find? But some people say, like, it's cured their depression. They don't drink anymore. I was going to say addiction issues. It helps with their PTSD. Like, it's fucking insane. Yeah. No, it's just weird to be like, God, I was on a beautiful journey within, and then you

see what it was. Like, ugh. Yeah. But then it's also funny with like with someone like alex and no offense she's like i can think of a million other things you could do to improve your life but you know i guess you can trip or you know have a career i don't know that might help it would be funny to trip it would be funny to trip and be like i need a job yeah that is like a big a lot of thing like with like you know and not everyone i'm generalizing but like yeah all these people a lot of people who are into like all this

stuff which you know it's like well i don't know maybe there's oh you could exercise yeah you know you like you could go to therapy look at at your spending habits. Spending money helps a little. Yeah. There is a threshold of... Yeah, it's like 70,000. It's 70,000. And then after that, you're not any happier. But that's what you need to be...

Content. Content. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think... I mean, maybe I would do that at some point.

Mushrooms are fun. Also, like... Yeah think I mean, maybe I would do that at some point. Mushrooms are fun. Also, like, yeah, I want to do mushrooms. You haven't done them. Never. Oh, they're so fun. So, dude, I had this weird like guy date recently with this guy, Steve. Uh-huh. And this is how I find out about it.

Yeah. And he's a really cool dude. I don't really. I met him like years ago on hinge he no i met him like several years ago i was uh dating this woman and uh she i we just had a group hang and you know he's like older he has kids and shit yeah or um and so we ran into each other he's like hey man we should hang out get beers so we did and we were in the rotunda and he's really into all this stuff like he's into mesclun and mushrooms and i he's done ayahuasca many times and and uh and he like for him it's like it's uh it's like a like spiritual i don't even know if he would use that word, but yeah,

I guess like it's like a very like he does it with an like with an intention to better himself. I think that's his mind and I think look at the world differently and like try to find different ways to live. Yeah, I think you have to do that too. I think that's where it can go sideways on you too if you're just like whatever willy-nilly i'm gonna trip and that's kind of how you can have a bad

trip too and so we had a lot of conversations and i was like you know i was like yeah maybe i would do it because i was thinking like maybe it'll help me like yeah find some different perspective maybe like look at things uh well that's different perspective but you know help me like improve myself and um and i told like my i think i told karen and dan and my my friend liz and they're like oh that's the that's like the cutest reason i've heard for someone wanting to do mushrooms yeah exactly and then karen and dan were like dude just you don't want that to be your first it's like he was like dan was like dude we, just you don't want that to be your first. He was like, Dan was like, dude, we'll just do it and we'll fuck around and we'll have fun.

Well, also just you don't have to do enough to where you are like tripping your face off. Yeah. Like the times that I've done it, the best part is the giggling. Like you laugh so much. So you can do them to the point where it's like things are a little bit kind of jazzy and weird. Yeah. Where you're like, whoa, I think that tree is moving. But I'm not positive. I don't know.

Maybe it was a wind. But we did them in LA when I went out there a couple years ago. And it was so fun. We were just saying the dumbest shit and like just laughing at everything um we uh because we were watching uh we were watching um some like nature show and it was like planet earth yeah it was well no it was it was something on like like nat geo but they were examining like the bullfrog of of the amazon jungle or whatever it's just showing this this frog just like fucking up like flies and

stuff and so we were just voicing that of just like for some reason it became frog hitler because we were like man this frog's killing all the flies like how you doing i'm frog hitler i'm gonna fuck you up and so we gave like a baltimore accent and then somehow that became the character was little hitler and it was hitler but in his like last days in the bunker and he's like yeah eva where are you what are you doing so we just kept doing that and like dude we just had so much fun yeah that's cool because that's like stuff you know when you're drinking and you drink too you don't remember stuff but this you remember it oh Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool.

Yeah. So but they were in chocolates. So it and it looked just like not like a cupcake, but it was in like a like a half like cupcake kind of wrapper. And so it looked like sort of like a chocolate eclair and it was delicious to us, but we forgot them in the freezer. So when we were leaving the airbnb we're like oh fuck and then it was also like the early days of airbnb at least for us we're just like ah

how does this work what do you do so we reached out to the people uh the hosts or whatever like hey we left special chocolates in the freezer not saying like what they were and the owners were like oh thank you so much for telling us otherwise our cleaning lady would have eaten those for sure holy shit how can you just imagine this woman she's cleaning and then the soap starts talking to her she's like oh my god me oh no oh no the sponge is alive that's amazing at least they were cool about it oh they were so cool but i think they just thought they were like weed brownies yeah no one cares mushrooms yeah like mushrooms and weed are like considered like especially in silver lake la they're not gonna be like oh my 100 my goodness but yeah and also that's like brooklyn or whatever right and with like with drugs now too it's just so insane of how everything

can be done like you can get like mushrooms in a chocolate and then also they have like mushroom pills now too so you can where do you get that from uh drug dealer i'm not yeah i would think so yeah go on amazon probably get it on there um yeah no so you can get like the the pills and so you can really like kind of measure out what you measure it out and kind of like regiment what you're doing because it's like even from us growing up to now like when you used to i was talking to my uncle about it he's like yeah and back in the day when you get weed it was just like here's weed you were never like well is it a sativa hybrid they're like i don't fucking know it's weed yeah but now it's like it's so like okay the thc amount is this i would do in the morning i actually like

to work out with this you know i remember my friends because all my friends like started doing drug not like yeah they all started drinking and we doing weed and all that shit like in right when they got to high school yeah and i didn't do any of that stuff when i was a kid right or even in college but i remember like they they would get they got mushrooms and they hated the taste of it so they would have to dip them in like they would dip them in chocolate frosting and then eat them yeah they were just eating much straight up mushrooms yeah they do taste gross like the stems and whatever heads and i just remember like i remember i was there when they were doing it and like they were like gagging and shit oh hilarious yeah i mean because how bad do they taste they grow on cow shit oh i didn't know that yeah so i think you can make

i think like the pill form now is like a um like a synthesized version of it. Yeah. But yeah, the first time I did it was I had heard that you eat it in like a peanut butter jelly sandwich because they taste so bad. I bet you in the next five to ten years they're going to be into weed dispensaries. Probably, yeah. Yeah, they seem like they're making like such a... Because the government like lied about all the effects of psychedelics on your brain. Yeah. And yeah, now they're using it like Hopkins did all kinds of tests on cancer patients and stuff with mushrooms.

Oh, dude. And some people said they do it on people with depression. And some people say one round of mushrooms and it cured their depression. Yeah. So if you can do it to the point again yeah where it's not like you're tripping it's on but it does it just makes you feel like lighter and kind of more in tune with stuff and stuff's like a little more intent like colors are a little brighter and like you're just kind of happier that's cool yeah that's a nice

yeah yeah so if you can do it in that way where it's like as you dip your toes in the water and get into it a little bit. God. Mark Norman has that joke about how 14-year-olds and 30-year-olds just switched behaviors. Like how 14-year-olds are all caring about the environment and grades and all this and all this like stuff and the 30 year olds like um i'd like to play video games while i'm on shrooms you know it's just a more intense experience that way it's so interesting yeah when he was like yeah i have my what did he say he's like my my nephew or niece he's like i see him come home from school he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders yeah yeah yeah i'm like hey have some skittles that's a great bit and i thought the same oh man see that's like

like a great joke and you're like fuck i thought that for so long too yeah exactly i hate when you say i mean i like it too because i'm like ah i was on to something but fuck i should have like bill burr his whole snl set the white women thing yeah i had that same argument with the chick that i went on a date with a couple of times and she got so mad at me about bill bird hosted snl and he had this bit about how white women kind of hijacked the woke movement yeah and it was supposed to be for people of color yeah and i was making the same argument especially the me too movement was for women of color and especially like in poverty and i and it's just so and i was like yeah it's just so funny how like white women threw themselves on the front line of that issue and i even brought

up the whole uh emmett till thing oh wow just does it in a bit i'm like god yeah i mean that's very i mean he kind of didn't even make it work you know what i mean it's very i know and that this is what is so frustrating about it yeah is because we hate woke comics because we're like they're just making points there's no joke jokes that's what all like edgy the cool kid comics say they're going for claptor yeah and then all the comics who say who complain that woke comics don't have jokes, they're just making statements, they love the Bill Burr set. And I'm like... They did?

Really? Dude, Mark loved it, and Chris loved it. And it seemed like all these people were like, oh, you just can't handle it. And it's like, dude, he fucking bombed. Oh, yeah. And then they blamed the crowd. And I'm like, yeah, no, dude, he just didn't make it funny. Yeah, that was my's that he had some

lines yes yeah but it overall the set was bad the rick moranis thing was very funny that was hilarious york's back baby that was great like the the the gucci boot over the oh over the fence yeah white women just lifted their gucci boot over the whatever fence of oppression. Pretending like you're not right there with us. Yeah, but overall, I felt like a dud of a set. And dude, there was two awkward transitions where his jokes bombed. And he's like, so anyway. Yeah, and he was like plowing ahead.

I'm like, dude, if I had to say that on a TV set i would murder myself yeah i mean one of the biggest shows too yeah but then some people like dude he doesn't care i'm like i think he cares i i think he respects institutions like i think he does i think he does too but it's like i think he's also a guy too that's like well i was honest with myself you know what i mean like and he's accomplished much cooler things in snr he sold out the garden and yeah no here's the thing too he's a millionaire many times over you know uh the jack white uh performance on that show is really good too i gotta say i watched it and i just earlier today i was listening to the dead weather yeah never listened to the white stripes i started listening to them yeah i never really listened to them either i listened to um his other

fuck what was the band oh the raconteurs yes they have some jams too dude his guitar is yeah no way that yeah when that band was playing the drummer with like the weird i know i was like what is yeah like leading forward somebody fucked up the drums and one fell over. He's like, all right, fuck it. We'll roll with it. But no, yeah, when they were doing that, I was like, god damn, do I love the blues? I think I love the blues now. This rips.

Yeah, he just makes it accessible. Like he, Jack White like does it in a way where it's more modern and cool. Yeah, it's kind of like what the Black Keys do. Yeah, it's what white people do. They take something and make it their own. It is fun too. The Black Keys. The Black Keys, yeah. what the black keys do yeah it's what white people do they take something well the white guys it is yeah the black keys yeah i saw them live the blackies yeah the blackies dude that would be a great parody the blackies uh and it's just black people doing indie rock um i saw them live and they are really good

all their songs to me sound the same yeah it could be because i'm not familiar with them i think a lot of them kind of do that i really like that album brothers a lot that's a really good album they play like and i talked to miles about it who's a very talented drummer your band and he's just an overall like musical yeah genius guy yeah um and he was just kind of musical nerd in the best way yeah yeah the most complimentary way and he was saying how like the black keys are very talented but they've they found a formula they repeat it and it's like they they they just do like party rock or whatever i can't remember what or it's it's sort of like anthem rock yes anthem rock that's the word yeah and i mean it's cool you have fun when you're there but then you're like all right i get it um the hard times

had a great headline a while ago it was like black keys say fuck it and just write music directly for ford commercials yeah yeah exactly the cool thing is about them though they do have um like it's two people though right but then like they have like three other guitar player they've oh they're the three other guitar players bass player yeah yeah bass and um and they don't like hide any of those people so that's kind of cool because some people do that oh yeah yeah they have like a guitar player backstage that you can't see. Yeah. It's so weird.

And then also, one thing I didn't know now that I've watched a lot of videos of guitar players' rigs and stuff, a lot of guitar players don't even do their own pedals anymore. Oh, none of them do. Some do. own pedals anymore. Oh, none of them do. Some do. Well, some. But his for Black Keys, it's so complex. Yeah. It would be like impossible.

Yeah. So, yeah, I saw a thing for Slipknot. We were showing that. I also saw a thing too once of. Oh, I watched that one. Jim Roots. Jim's is so cool. And then also too that they have their cabs inside of a crate.

Did you see that to like their cabs aren't even like on stage, so their their cabs are in a crate and then they're miked and then that's what you're just hearing. It's so crazy, but there was a video of that's Corey's other stone sour. The guitar player was like going to play his solo

and then i guess whatever pedal like his phaser flange didn't come on immediately and just see the guitar player look over to the left and like oh that road he's getting fire but yeah there's there's just dudes backstage hitting the pedal for them but that's you have to pay such close attention yeah absolutely and be. And be like, all right, there's the chorus. Oh, fuck. Because it's also like multiple at the same time. It's not like I'm turning one on. It's like I got to make sure these three are on, these four are off.

You know what I mean? Yeah, that's wild. Yeah. It is wild. Pretty great as a guitar player, though. You're just like, I'm just going to go rip it up there and you take care of this shit. I saw one rig video where the guitar player, I think from Bad Religion, he's like, honestly, I don't even know what pedals I use. See, great you're like i don't give a yeah he's like

yeah they just do everything for me dude um yeah no i can't imagine that must be so fun as a guitar player you're like tune it make it clean like they every night too they're like taking your guitar and making sure the action's good like always going through it like your guitar is perfect everything's great crazy yeah amazing um uh oh i got my roof done finally on my porch not bad pretty good speaking of you got the whole thing redone right pretty much so like they opened it up uh so what they had to do is like replace the top of the roof on my porch and then put in gutters and then when they took off the top of the roof they're like this is all fucked and then so like they're just the porch yes just the porch oh i thought the whole roof

of your house no no no that's fine that's fine that would have been oh dude no that would be a nightmare um no this was just the porch and then but the beams that were around the um the the roof those had rotted as well so the people there that were trying to do the work they're like we could put something up but even if we do that there's nothing to connect it to yeah i mean so they can't go into right so yeah exactly so they had to replace that shit too it ended up being like two days and uh it looks great i'm so excited like when it rained yesterday i was like yeah that shit's going in gutters bitch yes you're like i'm gonna sit outside yeah um but uh the the crew that did it um it's like four or five guys of uh latinx descent which i don't know weird right yeah what's the x uh i think it's so you don't assume

the gender but i'd have to say these guys were guys um but uh when they were done on the second day i thought i thought they had left so i went out on the porch with no shirt i was like taking pictures to send to my dad and then i looked over and it was just like five like mexican dudes and i was like i was like i was like oh hey i was like hey thanks you guys did great and they're okay. And I just like just speaking of like guys, so it's just you just show up and you're like, yeah, that's done. And it's just they just probably saw me like shirtless with my iPhone being like, I did it. This is good.

Damn. But yeah, it was very funny. They're just like, okay, what are you doing? Put a shirt on. This is your house. Are your parents home? That's funny. But yeah, man. man so yeah i'm very excited about that it's quite quite nice yeah and the first like well that's a pretty yeah it's probably your first like major home yeah and hopefully

insurance is going to cover the rest of the the additional stuff so we'll see we will see my buddy i was just texting with him and he was like the first year i we moved he bought his home they had to replace their whole roof and insurance didn't cover it because it was like pre-exist existing preventative stuff or something and i was just like dude you should have just waited for something to get fucked up yeah so what happened with me is there was just that inciting incident of like i was like hey it was this storm that did it they're like okay um so i called my insurance lady yeah because you told me to about the fence and uh she was very nice but i think so a recycling truck from baltimore baltimore city recycling truck hit my fence so baltimore city was willing to i all right so i thought i was like kind of

taking advantage of baltimore city yeah because i got my buddy dan somebody doesn't matter who but i got my buddy that dana who is a contractor who has like a business he flips homes and i told him what happened yeah immediately was just like all right you're gonna need an estimate he sent me one over he didn't come and look he was like and it was for like 1850 and i was like damn that seems like a lot yeah looks like four hundred dollars worth of damage he's like well one yeah i did just bullshit it but two you don't you'll never know you could have to like dig, you could have to like do concrete work, remove hauling and blah, blah, blah.

This was right before COVID. This was in February. Yeah. This was before lumber prices are like went through the roof. Yeah. Because homes are being bought like crazy right now. Yeah. And so then I kind of had to like i slept on getting it in

quickly then i got it in and they baltimore city is like well we need another one we need another estimate yeah and i was like all right so i called this guy he said the repair would be 1990 which is very close yeah and i want to just like fuck it i'll just get a brand new fence and so uh i gotta oh i know the second guy sorry the second guy was just a another contractor yeah he estimated my repair so dan said 1850 the third guy he came out he he said 1990 which is 50 up the second guy said 4700 there you go the third guy he gave me two estimates one just to repair the damage part and one for a brand new fence a brand new fence from that company would have cost less than four thousand it would have been like right near four thousand it was like three nine seven five yeah they're just

padding it and then so the second guy was like well that's because you gotta go through my boss he has the license you know i you know i got my other thing going so and then dan was like wait so he tried to undercut his boss and i was like yeah he's like that's amazing yeah and i was like well fuck this guy like i don't trust him. And also, like, that's $4,700 for one, for like two sections and a door of a fence. Like, that's insane. He's like, no, we might have to rip up the entire alley and pour new concrete. Who are these people that are like, all right, yeah, that sounds reasonable. I guess if you're rich, you know.

So then you were like, well, maybe your insurance will cover it. And I didn't want to lie. So I insurance like this is what happened uh i'm getting this much money from the city uh but a brand new fence costs this much and i need a new fence because i don't want it to look all what estimate did you give them did you say 4700 i i gave them everything so you gave them three different estimates no sorry i gave them everything. So you gave them three different estimates? No, sorry. I gave them the most reasonable estimate because I didn't want them to think I was taking advantage or whatever. Yeah.

And so I was like, look, I'm going with this estimate. It's the most reasonable one. I'm getting this much money from the city. And so we talked and she was like, hey, so she's like, you know, we're not going to cover this because she said, even if like, let's say you went through us, we wouldn't even give you 1850 to fix the fence because we would take into consideration the depreciation of the fence. And she was like, so honestly honestly take the money and run you're lucky that you're getting some and she was being cool about it yeah you're lucky you're getting something i do think their estimate's a little high so she gave me an estimate to try to counter

it and she said the reason is is because again there's she was like well well, you know, we would only pay for like an inciting incident. Yeah. Right. And so she's like, there's no reason to replace your whole fence. The entire fence. You just want to do it. And then I was like,

all right. But I was like hoping it would work. See, but that's what bothers me about insurance though. Even you being like, well, you know, and you are right that you're like,

I don't want to lie. And I'm like, it's like, they make so much. I know. and then when you use them they fuck you yeah and then i know and because the thing like i just didn't want like one section of the fence to be brand new and then one to be old yeah and uh i just want to replace the whole thing with a cheaper fence like a cheaper style of fencing yeah and make it all consistent yeah yeah all right well property brothers talks property bros yeah no i have that with my wall outside where like the part that i had to paint it just looks different than the rest of the wall

i just kind of have to accept that of like accept it for a noun and it also it doesn't bother me that much i'm like i still i still fucking own property hell yeah i own that fucked up wall it's funny i thought it's you know we think we own property but then like you drive out to like harford county you're like oh this is real property oh yeah yeah yeah i hate to take care of a big ass lawn or i think i might enjoy that i would hate it so much i think yeah i would i would definitely be type. I would get a riding mower. I'd do a little good times. I'd have my AirPods in. That'd be fun.

Yeah, I don't know, man. The weeding, the weed whack. And if you have all these trees. Dude, we did a weekend in the woods last weekend because Karen's friend has property up in the mountains in Maryland. Love it. It's beautiful. Shit, I can't remember what it's called but it was so nice uh and it's just like this home like back in the day you could order a home in a sears catalog oh yeah and so it's one of those yeah it's like a levitt town yeah

something like that yeah and uh and it comes like everything for your houses in this, like on this shipping container and you just build it following the directions. Yeah. Anyway, so, but then they own like eight acres of land. Awesome. And they, and it's just, I was like, man, taking care of this must be a nightmare because it's like trees fall all the time. Yeah. Branches and shit. Most of it is just tree it's

woods with like a little section carved out for the house and like a little field yeah yeah it was so fun we just sit by a fire all day we drink she has this thing called like a uh a gator it's like a four-wheeler type thing but more intense we just ride it through the woods like go hills see yeah i love that shit like as i get older like chopping wood yeah yeah as i get older i'm like yeah that's the stuff that i want like i want to be like it's nice to be in the city but like as i get older i'm like i'd like to be kind of close to a water like some water like a river or something have have some land not have like be able to like hear my neighbors or you know yeah i i don't think i'll ever move out of this city i just can't picture myself living that far away from stuff yeah i i don't think i'll ever move out of this city i just can't

picture myself living that far away from stuff it depends i don't want to live like that far but i'm like you know like in the county of finding something decent like yeah but i'm not saying maryland county suck man like unless like i don't know what's a cool mary Maryland county to live in. It's so like cookie cutter. But dude, the one thing about living near, you want to live near freshwater because the New York Times had an article in their magazine about climate migration and how in the next like 30, 40 years,

shit is going to get real fucked up because of uh environmental degradation and then climate change and so like freshwater supplies are gonna be dwindled like sections of cities are gonna be so fucked because of sea levels rising and water yeah water uh it's gonna like when sea levels rise like you're gonna be cut off from different parts of the city and like so san francisco is gonna have to build a new bridge florida is gonna have to put up all these fucking uh delaware is gonna have to relocate to mexico yeah like dude florida is gonna have to put up all these like different like um concrete walls like barriers

like beachfront property you're just gonna be staring at concrete walls yeah and then he was saying like in some places in florida that aren't they don't have huge tax uh a tax base they're just gonna have to fucking sacrifice certain cities yeah i mean a lot of that stuff happens already where it's i think the streets of miami like if it rains pretty good they just flood like crazy yeah and so then he was saying like so much from like missouri over yeah west you're not going to be able to use that land for agriculture anymore yeah and it's going to impact like he's like places like like buffalo new york is going to see hot days like fucking uh california yeah and california alaska's gonna have that 130 or 120

degree day j Jesus Christ. And it's just going to get worse. Oh, good times. And so he was like, the move is to live near fresh water. Live near like lakes and shit, I think. That's what he thinks people. It's like. Yeah.

But lake properties also already. Like those homes are like in a nice place. They're like million dollar homes. Yeah, of course. Of course. Unless you live in the Dina, Pasadena, Maryland. Dirty Dina. Yeah, dude. I'm trying to live in freshwater Dina.

There are really nice parts of Pasadena. Yeah, same with Dundalk. Yeah, but even then it's just like... Yeah, you live there. You live there. Yeah, I would just like to find something that's not like... Yeah, I don't want to move to like... I'm right next to the Columbia Mall now. You know what I mean? But I'd like to find something like that where move to like i'm right next to the columbia mall now you know what i mean

but i'd like to find something like that where it's like you have your own plot of land and you're relatively like close to shit but i hate driving this stuff man i hate driving to get coffee yeah that shit yeah yeah yeah so yeah i'd really would ideally like to have like best of both worlds and where i'm like i'm stocked up on shit but yeah i think i think it's also just being in quarantine in the city and stuff me like it'd probably be nice to have it's like a grass is always greener kind of thing you know what i'm so thankful that i live in the city because quarantine it just makes life i think it makes life more bearable that i'm like all right i can just leave my house and go to a coffee shop that's true. I can leave my house and see people that I know. Yeah.

And it's always nice to run. Like before it was getting to be a pain, but now I'm like, it's nice to run into people. Like I ran into a woman that I knew from years ago while I was dating this person. They used to work together and we had like a half an hour conversation on the street. Yeah. It was great. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like Thursday when i was hung over it was it was very nice to be

like okay i can walk to a breakfast burrito that will possibly save my life instead of having to like drive 30 minutes to get it or yeah dude i got bagels from down the street it was great oh from chuck's no i went to the uh my go-to bagel place is roland park bagels yes they have great to get the double trouble you walk to that i have in the this time i drove i was gonna say that's a bit of a but uh one last week i was like ah fuck it i work from home no one no one knows when i'm gone so i got up and i just put on yeah headphones and i walked i went on a two-hour walk i got bagels i ate it in the park uh- huh. And then, uh, yeah,

I walked back home. Love it. It was great. Yeah. I was like, I might as well live it up. I'm going, I think I'm,

we might be back in schools next. That's what miles is telling me. Yeah. That the like superintendent of schools was like, I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks. Yeah, but I get it, dude.

I don't know. I'm doing shows and where I'm hanging out and I, I, I'm not, I think they shouldn't force people to go back. Yeah. But I think... As you cough. Yeah. I think in some way we are...

You do have to do something. Yeah. Because kids aren't engaging. And I know that's... It's not like the reason, but I don't know. I'm fine with trying it out a little bit at a time, which is what they are doing. Yeah. And I think if everybody wears a mask and, you know. Yeah.

And NPR talked about some study from Brown that came out that said that schools aren't. Super spreaders. Super spreaders. Yeah. And actually, even in other countries, they didn't as well. Yeah. that schools aren't super spreaders, super spreaders like people think. And actually even in other countries, they didn't as well. Yeah. Other countries that didn't shut down schools that they weren't.

Well, yeah. I mean, with a lot of this stuff, that's what's so insane about it too. Like if Trump was just like, everybody wear a mask, like it'd be over in like six weeks. Did you see his town hall last night? No.

Brody, I watched his instead of biden's i mean he is entertaining i mean he he was like i don't know i know i i don't know if osama's dead you don't know that i can't say that and because he keeps like tweeting all these retweeting all these conspiracy theories yeah he wouldn't denounce like uh q anon and and it was it's bad. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's like, I don't like pedophilia. Yeah, he's like, well, I know one thing.

They don't like pedophilia. I don't like pedophilia. I'm like, well, I think you have fuck girls, like young girls. Yeah. Like teenage girls. You hung out with Epstein. You don't like it. Epstein is at the heart of QAnon's thing, and you're friends with him.

And that's the funniest thing about that stuff is they're like nah he only hung out because he didn't like him he was there and he was like what you're doing's wrong i'm like that's why they partied together what are you talking about that's like yeah that's how you know it's all bullshit of course yeah he's so full oh man so funny he's so obviously full of shit yeah um but yeah speaking of uh events and stuff the shows with norman were very fun um yeah i missed i missed the first one but uh the second one was really cool yeah it was fun man it was so we did these shows mark norman came down and it we pulled it off all in two weeks yeah to turn a parking lot into a comedy club dude it sucked it was like so two weeks ago i met with there's this new place called the um it's down the street it's this awesome thing like

it's called what is it called white hall market yes and it's just like a little food hall but it's like real nice it's like the new yuppie thing to have like a restaurant as the anchor and then you have a couple cute shops and like a coffee spot they have a yeah and it's like uh oh and paul's uh wife annie runs the home body general store there check that out and so my friend nick he owns the local oyster and that restaurant true chesapeake that's part of it yeah and and he was like hey we should do a comedy show and we were kicking around the idea of like maybe doing it in a backyard maybe doing it in a field and i was like dude why don't we just do it in your parking lot you

have this like really nice parking lot yeah and so we met with the manager of the property and i was like at first it was just me and her. And we were going to do it on the other side. And thank God we didn't because that side has 83 on it. Yes. She was like, it would be harder to shut this side down. And then we were standing there. I was like, yeah, actually, this is really noisy. And she was like, yeah, the other side would be better.

So I was like, we'll put the stage here, all the chairs here. And then Nick came and he, oh, go ahead. Oh, I was was gonna say for the people listening at home so then it kind of ended up being in between like two buildings yeah yeah like one small building and then one long building yeah and um and then so when nick came he was like oh yeah that'll be perfect i'll set up the bar over there we'll have servers uh doing drinks yeah so no one has to leave their seats right and i'll and and like and then the lady's like yeah we have 250 chairs that you guys can use because it's an event space

also in there and i was like fuck let's do it and then as we're having that conversation i'm texting mark i'm like hey man i got a venue outside show this is what i can pay you and he was like holy shit let's do it wow and um i won't say what it was the amount but and he was like yeah he was like book it and the original date we want to do was the 28th because that would give us like four weeks to plan everything yeah yeah but he was booked that date and he's like well can we do the next week after and everyone's like you don't want to do a show the day after the election oh and then he was booked that date, and he was like, well, can we do the next week after? And everyone was like, you don't want to do a show the day after the election. Oh. And then he was like, how about the 14th?

And I was like, fuck, I don't know. And then you're getting colder as you get further out, too. Yeah, and then I asked Nick, and I was like, you think we can pull it off in two weeks? He was like, fuck yeah. And I was like, okay, then it's booked. And then the next day, we're waiting on like they have to talk like lawyers and stuff and then the next day the property owners yeah um the manager said after she talked to the property owners they're like hey we're not they're not comfortable with doing a hundred people

they said you could do a show for 50 people. Right. But that probably would not be profitable. And I was like, fuck. So then I spent the whole day like... So that was... I think that was on a Saturday or Sunday or something. Yeah. And I spent the whole day calling other venues. Like I was calling our house and I was calling like fucking the Sandlot.

And we were just like. Just like open space areas. Yeah. I was like, I got the contact info for like people who own the parking lot across this movie theater called the Charles Theater. But all the thing is, it's like if you're using those places they're gonna charge you a rental fee and i was like get the i was like i'm not charging a rental fee yeah but the show hadn't been announced yet no tickets were sold so i was just ready to say fuck it right i'm not doing it 50 people we can't make money mark's not gonna come down for the little money

that that would generate yeah yeah so then like the last idea I had, I was like, why don't we just do, we could do two shows, 50 people each. And they were cool with that. And then I was like, well, now I got to ask Mark and Chris to do double the work for the same pay. Yeah. And they were both fine with it. I mean, once you're there, you're like, I'm here.

Might as well. And it's still a lot of money. Yes. So I've never done like, I'm here. Might as well. Yeah, and it's still a lot of money. Yes. So I've never done like a $20 ticket. Cobb, no. He was eating his bandage. No. Tasty, tasty bandage.

No, no, no, no, no. You're going to get it infected. So yeah, we sold out the show in four days, which was like, I was so nervous. I was like, fuck you. We're not going gonna sell a goddamn ticket i knew you were gonna sell out i was yeah i was very happy for you and uh yeah and the cool thing was 75 of those sales were from just my mailing list nice yeah killer so because i got i can do the math it was awesome yeah i was like oh dude that's that like got me cocky and i was like all

right oh i guess i'm kind of a big deal. Well, I think also COVID helps. People want to do stuff. And there's a lot more overhead when you're doing a show now. That's why it was a $20 ticket. Yeah. And so... And yeah, it's not a normal event space like that. Yeah.

So Nick... I mean, I got to shout out to Nick, man. I had a vision and then he really ran with it. That's awesome. He got this guy who has like this trailer that he uses to like move like huge trees. That's what the stage was. It's just like this hitch trailer and they put like a shitty curtain around it. Yeah.

And they put a heater on top of it. See, that's what's so cool about outdoor shows. It's like people just find a way to make an event happen. It's really cool. But the day of, so stressful. Oh, yeah. There's so much planning involved. There's so much set up.

There's so much that can go wrong. And I'm a freak. So we're having a conversation yeah before and they're like well what time could you start what time would you guys want to start setting up and i said as early as possible and nick's like ah we could set up at three and i'm like dude that's only three hours like if we run into some unforeseen issues we're fucked yeah because then because yeah your first show is what six yes six p.m door 6 30 show right then that's crazy yeah so then like it's the day of and i'm like i'm trying to like i can't focus on anything yeah the night before i'm like oh my god dude like we only have 30

minutes to seat everyone get them drink orders and start the show like that does not sound like enough time yeah because then also you have the second show it's like we gotta get these fucking people out there minutes to turn it over yeah and then nick was like dude well i need at least a half an hour to turn it over and i was like well you got 15 the second show ends at 9 45 mark's train leaves at 10 20 there's not much wiggle room yeah so even after mark's second set it was like okay like he literally went from the stage to your car right yeah i was like and he got off stage a little later than expected because the show was delayed a little bit yeah um but he made it to the station by 10 still thing yeah yeah yeah and uh anyway so

it's like 12 o'clock and i'm like fuck this i texted i was like guys i'm coming i'm pulling out chairs because people don't realize like pulling out 60. We pulled out like 60, 70 chairs just in case. Yeah. It takes a long time. Also. And we had to bring them from all the way across. So I did it myself.

It took like a half an hour. Yeah. Because I lifted them three at a time. Right. And Nick came over. Why not just like leave yourself some room? You know what I mean? I know.

And people just like don't understand and i know i'm crazy but it's also like i have to do all this and perform it sucks well because also doing a show like that too you're stressed just about performing let alone making sure it's running about performing because i was just making sure everything could go the way we wanted it to go i yeah i didn't think shit about my jokes uh-huh and then so you were very funny in the green room too you said something like uh something we were talking to mark about something you and you're like yeah i actually heard that last night because i couldn't sleep because i was stressing about this show and then it was just so funny to be like just your psyche of like yeah i didn't sleep last night because i was stressed about this and

anyway like yeah just the non-stop like because you're just thinking logistics too and yeah and then like when you do a show and it's like a big ish big ur deal yeah there's a million like things you have to deal with and there's a gonna be a million people asking you dumb ass questions bothering you about the dumbest shit and all that shit happened yeah dude so so i start setting up chairs the parking lot was supposed to be cleared out at 12 uh-huh there were six cars in that parking lot at 12 30 and i'm like what i'm like this is why yeah planned. Thank God we all got here at 12. Yeah. And all the cars moved except for two. And they stayed there the whole night. And it fucking pissed me off.

Like, I was so fucking mad. And I know no one else probably cared. Yeah. But it kind of fucked up the setup a little bit. Right. And I was just so mad. I was so mad. Yeah.

You're just on stage. That's all you can see is that fucking car deal and i'm like fuck you yeah i know what i want and this isn't it right anyway so we said and then like they're like i'm like what time is the stage getting like five i'm like five dude we can't set up chairs until the stage is here how long is the stage gonna take because then we have to get the stage we have to get the sound around it we have to get the lights on it we have to fucking uh do all that shit so the sound guy got there at five and he's dilly dallying he's taking his time he's like oh i could do this i could do that and i'm like dude just put up this shit and let's go because now it's 5 30 and there's

no sound and i'm like can you move your car dude's like yeah man i will i'm like dude no move your fucking car i love that you're in like full dad mode you're like he's dilly dallying yeah get the lead out pal let's go like oh shit i forgot i have to do press there's a reporter coming to interview me about the restaurant so from 5 to 5 30 i gotta disappear and i'm like what yeah oh and he's the main person you need for yeah anything logistically related to the show he's then your go-to then i had to go pick up mark at 4 40 yeah and then like it just sucks like mark and chris are there the show's not set up yet but they're cool they get they're like they're not worried and oh yeah

dude no matter what it's gonna be fine we've done shows without stages we'll make it work it won't be perfect but it'll be fine i'm like i know man but i yeah don't want that and then so the first show so then like all this running around people are texting me like oh i can't make it oh uh do you have an extra ticket uh blah blah blah i. I felt bad even hitting you up. Yeah, but that's fine. I was like, hey, I'm going to come through. You don't even have to respond to this. I know you're busy, but I just want you to know I'm going to come through.

And then, so it's like 5.55. I have two people working the door, and she was like, should we let them in yet? I'm like, no, just wait until 6. So I'm upstairs in our green room and uh karen oh karen um i like told them i was like yeah karen might be able to help out with service which they took it as karen's gonna do service yeah karen she told me that was pissed yeah she was like yeah i wasn't supposed to be doing Yeah. And so now she had to learn how to do the credit card system and all that shit.

But she actually ended up having fun. She made $9 in tips. Damn. She did not get tipped out, which is kind of a bummer. That is a bummer. I did make like all the money that night. So I guess they figured like, well, he can give her money, which I can't. Well, I mean, that's sexist, honestly.

I agree. That's fucked up. But so then karen's like doing work she's kind of pissed so then karen runs upstairs and she prepared herself for for me to be grumpy it was 607 and she's like should we let people in yet i'm like you haven't let people in what the fuck are you doing i'm not but i was like you guys didn't let anyone in yet yeah and then she was like okay okay and then i was like and i had to be like it's not i'm just mad at the situation yeah but it's like why the fuck would you guys not like what do you what do you need me to say to let yeah it's all set so you're like

you're you're frantic yeah you didn't sleep you probably woke up at a 10 and then ever since that it's just building building building so then like the first show, I'm so on edge. Yeah. I had the worst set. It wasn't the worst, but the crowd was weird. It was still light out. It's early show. It's a lot of older people, moms. Yeah, 6.30 is a little weird, especially like middle of the week. Yeah.

And it was okay. Chris did okay. He didn't feel that great about it. Mark did decent. He didn't feel that great about it. I was pissed. Yeah. And then Nick was cool. He saw how how stressed i was and he was like umar second show we're gonna do everything

you just chill nice so we'll reset the chairs yeah oh and yeah like all this last minute shit like they wanted a merch table so i had to go get a merch table set that up yeah uh the sound guy was like hey where are the free beers i'm like all right man i'll put them out don't worry hey sound guy quit dilly dally and uh so then uh yeah so a bunch of people did a bunch of free shit for this show like they put their time and effort in yeah so i bought like fifty dollars worth of beer and uh like trillies and stuff and stuff and put them in a cooler for all the volunteers yeah i'm paying the sound guy he's the only person getting paid i see this motherfucker with the sound guy i see this motherfucker during the first show or early in the second show uh-huh pussyfoot in a belt like grabbing drinks i mean drink and giving them to two of his friends that

got in for free. And I was like, hey man, I'm not trying to be a dick, but these drinks are for volunteers. Like your friends got in for free, they can pay. And he's like,

hey man, he's like, well, you are being kind of a dick over two beers. That's insane. And I was like in a bad mood, but I was like,

all right man, fine, fuck it, whatever. But I was so in the right, I should have stood my ground and be like fuck you dude you're being such a bitch right now i mean dude i could have punched this guy in the face yeah that's how mad i was yeah i was telling you that night too like if that were you or i like if i was doing sound for a show and then like i grabbed my buddies a couple beers yeah that were like free or like that i for volunteers and if the person running it was like hey man those aren't

for them i would be so embarrassed and look fifty dollars is not that much no no but i'm just saying like the person running the show you know what i mean it's just so like i would be like shit dude i'm so sorry i thought there were more i apologize never, ever, neither would you ever be like, never be like, you're being an asshole. It's like I'm being an asshole with the free beer. I know.

I'm paying you. Shut the fuck up. I know. Yeah. Fucking, it put me, dude, I mean, in such a bad mood. Yeah. I'm already in a bad mood.

And now your adrenaline's going. Yeah. And then so, I was just like, dude, fuck this guy. Yeah. I shouldn't have hired him. He's being a going. Yeah. And then so I was just like, dude, fuck this guy. Yeah. I shouldn't have hired him. He's being a dick.

Yeah. And I've worked with him before and he's been a dick to me before. Gotcha. And but we talked it out. It was fine. I think there's still some bad blood. Still, but going forward, it's like I don't need your services. I don't think he listens to this, but he's a good we just shouldn't work together he's a very talented musician we should

never work together differing styles hey you get what you pay for i didn't pay him that well so i get it and he was there all night he put in his time yeah the sound was great yeah and so and you know so god bless him yeah all that to say it's all just like i'm on a 10 he's a little drunk he's probably upset that like i'm not getting paid that much i get it yeah that to say it's all just like i'm on a 10 he's a little drunk he's probably upset they're like i'm not getting paid that much i get it yeah well to him it's small potatoes too it's like well you're drunk and he's like ah it's like your little comedy show can you just chill out yeah my thing was like dude i don't really care that you're giving away free beers but the second show hadn't started yet yeah there was other people coming that help with the show that

the drinks were for. Right. Well, that's the thing. It's like you can have them, but also your friends, they didn't help with shit. And Nolan's like a big beer guy. And I was... And Nolan... Dude, he was so sweet.

He made... He made a round of flyers. Then he tweaked them. Then he made more flyers. Yeah. And he did it all for free because he loves Mark Norman. Like he is a fucking huge Mark Norman. Yeah.

Which I don't understand. I mean, I love Mark Norman too, but I never would have thought Nolan would love Mark. I would think Nolan would hate Mark Norman. No, he had the best description of Norman. What did he say? He called him like a scalpel made of lasers. Yeah. A scalpel made of lasers yeah a scalpel made of lasers that tell dick jokes yeah yeah exactly and yeah it's spot on and but yeah he fucking

loves norman and i think our buddy frank took pictures too yeah frank took pictures dude he took pictures for aziz when he was on yeah he was in baltimore yeah and he did it for free he was happy to be there and i wish i could know, like, it's just like the profit margins are so thin that like, I don't even feel like the energy that went into that show was worth what I made. And then, you know, I paid 50 bucks for this. I paid 50 for that. I paid 50 for this. So that's all eating into my profits.

Yeah. this i paid 50 for that i paid 50 for this so then yeah there that's all eating into my profit yeah well and the thing is like when you the amount of effort you put into a 50 person show is the same amount of effort you'd put into like a 200 person show yeah it would just be more chair or 100 b what you know what i mean like yeah you still have to set up a stage for a show you still have to get a sound person you still have to have all the seats like it's all the same shit but the ticket sales are smaller you know yeah and dude and so the second show i was like i'm not i'm only gonna fucking murder on this second show there's no option and i went up hot and it worked i think i had a really good set yeah and it's it kind of i think it was good too that you got not not to say because i didn't see it i doubt it was like that bad but that is always one of the nice things about

performing back to back yeah because it's like you already have the game tape on what you did and the next time you're like fuck that i'm not doing that again yes you know so you kind of have that energy too and it's all out of the way like logistics are over now you're like we're doing the second show younger crowd they're cooler we let like 20 extra people a little looser um yeah and all the people showed up and they're like can we get in i'm like i'm just thinking about all this money i'm losing i'm like fuck it give me 20 bucks and dollar signs like come on in so that was nice yeah dude you were very accommodating to me and paul too and it was really cool like to watch from the green room and like it was i i always know like because yeah i know you so well too but like on stage when you were like you're like ah that first crowd sucked you guys are great i'm like all right he's in a better mood now yeah yeah yeah and uh yeah and then like then like

after i get off stage like i'm trying to Venmo Mark and Chris. Yeah. My Venmo disconnects from my bank. I can't remember my bank password. I have to get on the phone with the bank during the show. Yeah. All this shit. It's just like there's a green room.

There's like a million people. It's noisy. I remember I slammed the door. Do you remember that? Yes. I went into an office, and I just slammed the door. Yeah. Because the guy on the phone couldn't hear. Yeah, it was funny.

Yeah, that was great too because you're like, ah, Venmo didn't fucking work. We're like, oh, all right. And so you went in like this little office. But it was like you were the owner. You're like, I need to contact my bank. This transfer is not going through. And like slamming.

We're like, okay. I know. And I felt so bad. Karen was like, did he just slam the door? I'm like, yeah, it's a business thing there was a part where uh norman was uh telling a story and our buddy ross who's a dc comic just got there and i'm like just so worried i want everyone to have a good time i want like to be accommodating i'm just so on edge and uh norman starts this like story and it's great to be stressed you like, I'm just trying to be fucking accommodating.

Yeah. And he starts a story and I cut him off and I'm like, oh, Ross, there's free beers and shit like downstairs. And Norman's like, hey. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. He's like, sorry. He's like, that's what you do. And I was like, oh, it fucking killed me. Yeah.

And then so here's the fucking. Yeah. So I didn't really eat. I ate like a quarter of my burger that night i didn't eat before that at all okay yeah you're stressed down like six white claws some whiskey hot toddies i got home buddy so i just start puking dry heaving puking like in the toilet the tub the tub apparently i fell asleep on the bathroom floor for an hour oh karen said i was at one point like crying oh and she was just like yeah you she was like i went downstairs and turned on the tv and i told cob to come with me because she was like i don't know what to do for this guy oh she was like i was just laying on the TV and I told Cobb to come with me because she was like, I don't know what to do for this guy. She was like, I was just laying on the floor going like, what?

Oh my God. So you texted me that you were in bed. Oh, so then I got in bed. Yeah. Immediately I just put my face on the side of the bed and just started puking onto the rug. And Karen just put a towel down i had

to clean up in the morning but when you texted me you said that you were you like leaned over the bed and you're puking onto the floor and you kept going oh yeah oh yeah karen just kept it like she said i kept you like oh yeah while i was puking jesus christ dude the next day was rough oh yeah yeah so yeah paul and i had like a couple beers at the show and then like we hung out afterwards too and had more beers and then um yeah the next morning i was like yeesh not great because i was like buddy i don't feel good you were like oh i'm doing pretty bad yeah it oh man dude karen karen is a saint man she's i know she's very sweet to like yesterday she she was like you know you're like a crazy person, right?

I'm like, yeah. Yeah, but you're with me, so that makes you fucking... Yeah, she's very sweet. Dude, yeah. No, like for her to like take all that stuff and be like, all right, I'm a server too. And then like, you know, it's like... I think anybody that's with a comedian knows like the feelings too of being like, man, I fucking suck.

This fucking suck. Then you have a good set. You're like, I guess I'm the best ever. We should, you know... Yeah, dude. the comedian knows like the feelings too of being like man i fucking suck this fucking side then you have a good set you're like i guess i'm the best ever we should you know yeah dude most people can't that roller coaster most people yeah they don't put up with it like yes like chicks are just like yeah i'm not yeah you could be normal you could be normal but dude i mean all that to say like it went fucking great thanks i mean the second show was very cool and then yeah yeah i love the hang too so it was cool to see ross and like be with you and then be with mark and like shooting the shit and stuff yeah it was very nice man no and like i know that yeah you were stressed

like running everything but you were very you were very accommodating and thanks it was cool we had a yeah it was a it was a fun hang in there yeah it was great um it's yeah the one thing that's like oh man it was so funny so the bartender she works for nick the one thing that's like, oh, man, it was so funny. So the bartender, she works for Nick, and her son's like 15 or something. Yeah. And when he saw the flyer, he was like, you guys, how did Nick get Mark Norman? Like, he's like a big fan of Mark Norman. And so he was like, yeah, I'll work the event if I can watch him.

Yeah. And so, he yeah he worked for free he did like he directed traffic he just did any bitch work we needed to be done yeah he was like couldn't have been cooler this zane yeah just super cool he had a circle jerk t-shirt on and yeah he got to meet mark it was so cute well that was the kid that came upstairs no different kid oh that's another kid. Okay, okay. Yeah. Yeah, dude. It was a very cool night.

It was fun. Very stressful. I'm glad it's over. And once I get that paycheck from Eventbrite, it's going to be great. There you go. All right. All right. I'm going to go pee real quick.

Dude, I have to pee so bad. I've been thinking about pausing, but we're like over an hour in. Go, buddy, because I'm about to shut it down. Oh, I like that plant. I have that basket, too. Well, it's just a solo cast here. Umar's peeing. I could hit the pause button,

but I'm not gonna. Umar's house is looking very cute. There's a dirt devil here. A North Face book bag. Very yuppie-ish. Umar's house is looking very cute. There's a dirt devil here, a North Facebook bag, uh, very yuppie ish. Um, Umar did put on a great show.

Uh, it was, it was fun hanging out in the, in the green room. And, uh, uh, we joked about,

uh, riding the train. That was a good time where, uh, we were talking about, um, it was me, Paul, Ross and Mark. And we're talking about riding the train. Like, it was me, Paul, Ross, and Mark,

and we were talking about riding the train like, hey, it's actually pretty cheap in COVID. Like, oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you got to take the train. So much better than the bus. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's so much better than the bus. And then Paul was like, yeah, one time I was on the train and I found this car where there was only the cars,

so you didn't have, there weren't a bunch of seats, train and I found this car where there was only the cars. So you didn't have there weren't a bunch of seats. So it's just single seats where you could sit by yourself. And we're like, oh, no way. So I just decided to keep casting while you're while you're peeing. But yeah, we were talking about like a single car or single seat cars on the train. And Mark was like, no way. We're all like, oh, oh my god that's so cool that i was like for a moment i was like wait are we like hobos or comedian somebody be like i heard there's a train car where

you can sit by you're like oh no way all right but yeah let's let's let's sign out here good cast for cast anything to promote when's the next stressful gig for you i don't have any nice i'm gonna do the state theater on the 13th i want to do that one i gotta reach out in havada grace maryland on the 13th uh to the state theater uh they're only doing 100 seats and the place normally can hold like 450 or 500. Everybody's gonna be wearing masks. So I'm excited to do that on the 13th and

yeah, that's about it. Yeah, follow us on social media and all that stuff and yeah, we'll talk to you you next time.