The Digression Sessions - Ep. 342 - Podda Roach

Episode Date: March 22, 2021

On this week's episode, Josh and Umar are outdoors and catching up on Josh's Dad's health, shows, and girls that love Lars Ulrich.

Hey everybody, welcome back to the digression sessions podcast. Hey, hey, we are, uh, we're, we're outside. We got some ambient noises going. We do run multiple couches. Um, yeah. How are you buddy? I'm good, man. man how about you i'm a little tired you know what i said i'm fine yeah no no uh no medical weirdness going on oh yeah thank god your dad is fine uh well i mean he's not out of the woods yet yeah i mean he still has a tumor in his colon true so that's very unsettling i wouldn say fine, but better than malignant cancer. It is crazy how doctors, though, like, because didn't they tell you, like, it's most likely cancer? Yeah.

So what happened was, so my dad's had stomach problems, like indigestion problems for a while. And, like, he felt like he was, like, there was a blockage. So he went and got an endoscopy and a colonoscopy last week. Yeah. That's where they put the camera down your throat and camera up your butt. Damn. It's weird. You just get to a certain age.

They're like, let's put a camera up your ass. I know. That is, man, I am not looking forward to that age. It's like 40, right? 50? Yeah, maybe. Also, family history. Yeah.

All that stuff, too so um i mean listen i don't he ain't my blood you know i mean my butthole's fine yeah it's just wild though i don't know we lie so much in society like we lie to kids all the time to protect them to make them feel better you know santa claus or no easter bunny your dad's fighting in iraq you know meanwhile he's just like a heroin junkie or something but well he could be he's fighting uh he calls heroin iraq yeah so he's battling iraq that's a tough like a type of heroin iraq. Y'all looking for that Iraq shit. Yo, I'm trying to score some insurgency.

Where's that at? Yeah, we ran out of Fallujah. But why not doctors, hey, how about if you suspect cancer? I don't know. Keep it to yourself until you're for sure it's cancer. Yeah, I agree. But I think what they're trying to say is like it could be this so we biopsied it you know and they can't be like yeah it's probably nothing

then they biopsy it and then they go well it is cancer so it's like it's like a restaurant being like yeah your food's gonna be ready about an hour like i'm gonna be here in 20 minutes right biopsy is different because you have to slice something off yeah so what they saw was a tumor and i feel like it is weird to be like it's likely cancer but also it's this guy's job he sees it all the time you know i mean like every single day he's looking at tumors and i'm sure he knows what a malignant one looks like right it's like a benign tumor or something so and uh also so he showed us the pictures too which is weird yeah but it's funny looking at the picture he's like so this is the colon and i'm like okay and he like he's like

well that's the tumor i'm like i'm glad you said something because it all looks yeah yeah yeah fucking colon looks like um but yeah so he got the colonoscopy and they found a tumor in his ascending colon oh colon is six years long yeah i had no idea um in his ascending colon. Your colon is six feet long? Yeah. I had no idea. But his ascending colon had a large mass tumor that they said was likely malignant, and then they biopsied it. And it wasn't.

But, yeah, it took a while to get that news. But it is super scary in the moment to be like, likely. Okay, all right. But, you know, i was still like all right we're gonna fight this thing and i picked my dad up from the from the doctor's office and he cried in the elevator that was tough man like had his mask on and had like a single tear went down his face and he was like well i was like look we're gonna fight this thing he's like i'm gonna die you're gonna you know you're gonna be all right you're gonna you

know you're gonna be all right so that was last thursday or two thursdays ago and then like we'll have the results by tuesday possibly monday and then we didn't get the news until wednesday damn i kept calling on tuesday to be like where is it at're like, oh, the doctor has it on his desk, but he left for the day. God. Yeah, dude, one time I went to the doctor because I started snoring, and then I noticed my tonsils were really enlarged, and apparently, not bragging, but I have very big tonsils.

I've been told that by several doctors. Several women. Yes. And so he said, have you been sick? I said, no. He said, has anything changed? Allergies? I said, no.

Then he said, okay, well, you know, whenever you have growth without symptoms, you just want to make sure it's not cancer. So we'll just do some blood work. And I'm like, what? Yeah. And I'm like. They toss that C word around a lot. Yeah, dude. Easily. My God. Yeah. Why? Oh, yeah. work and i'm like what yeah and i'm like they toss that c word around a lot easily god yeah

why oh yeah so uh you know what here's a rule how about use cancer no more than you throw around the word cunt yeah that's the c word just as bad yeah are you using the c word so it might be and he said, so we'll have to get some blood work. And I, in my head, I was thinking, hey, maybe just say, oh, it's probably. Well, you can't say it's probably nothing, but just say we'll do some blood work. See what's going on. Yeah. I really, it's like, this is kind of concerning, but we'll take a look at it. But I really do think that they're like, I'm going to throw out cancer.

Cause if it's not, they're going to feel pretty good. But like, you're scaring the shit out of somebody. Yeah. So then I have to wait a couple of days. Blood work comes back. Everything's fine. Yeah. But he just to be extra cautious, he said, well, you should go to an ENT just so they can really rule it out.

Yeah. He's like, to be cautious, I'm going to register you for a cancer marathon walk. Right. Exactly. Yeah. I fucking felt like i'm gonna start a go fund me for you right now yeah um and then so i go to the end and like he looked at my mouth and in two seconds he said ah it's fine i'm like you just know it's fine

after two seconds it was crazy yeah i mean they also just see that shit every day i know like to us it's like am i dying they're like i don't know this is my job right it's just like yeah like a doctor for them like they're it's any job like it's no different than someone stocking shells at walmart totally you know you're just like i don't i want to go like you're thinking about lunch and then you're thinking about going home what you're gonna do is that crazy you have to do yeah you're just like talking to some person who has cancer and you're like man i got fucking leftover meatloaf in the fridge oh carol's making tacos sir can you stop crying i gotta eat lunch sir you're bumming me out uh yeah that's the thing

it's like the results are on his desk but he left for the day it was saint patrick's day i was like what does he have to fucking party crazy what do we do i know what do we do it um yeah i had the same thing when i had shingles they were like ah it's probably you might have aids like what oh yeah just because when you're younger and you get it usually it's your immune system is like compromised basically right because older people get it because they're sick and then it pops out again yeah but with younger people it's pretty they're like it's pretty rare it's typically if you have aids and i'm like well don't throw that out yeah we're gonna do a little blood work like you're saying dude i used to be very much a hypochondriac maybe not like a by definition but i would worry a lot yeah having cancer yeah and aids and i thought you could

by the way do you know how hard it is to contract hiv even if you have sex with a woman unprotected who has hiv the chances of you getting it are still so low yeah like it's 0.0 something percent yeah yeah and i'm like hey maybe i't know, lead with that in school. Yeah. Instead of scaring the shit out of everyone and making you think like if you kiss, you can get AIDS from kissing. Yeah, exactly. Crazy. Or even just like touching genitals.

Like, ah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the, yeah, that was just like a weird week with that stuff because yeah, you find out on Thursday and then like every day you're like, ah, it just sucks. Cause every step of the way they're like, well, we'll figure it out what it is today. And then here's the next thing. Here's the next thing. So they were like, even if it's not cancer, it has to be removed.

You need to make an appointment with a surgeon. I made the appointment with the surgeon. I think we saw him Tuesday morning and he kind of went through all of it. So what they're going to have to do and he was saying

even if it's not malignant, you have to cut out where the tumor is but then also above and below it to make sure the cells didn't spread or whatever. So yeah, they're going to cut off. Metast't spread. It didn't spread or whatever. So yeah, they're going to cut off.

Metastasize. So yeah. So metastasize. Oh, that's if a tumor spreads, right? If it's malignant. Yeah.

It can metastasize. So, so yeah, that's the thing. So you have to cut that and then there's lymph nodes that are right there too. And so like basically all your cells kind of empty into the lymph nodes. They want to make sure that's not like cancerous cells in there. So you have to cut those out.

Wild. They don't replace it or anything? No. And they'll just fuse the colon together. Basically, he was saying with like mini, mini staples, like a staple gun. You just go inside and like staple it together. Damn. So, yeah.

But then the annoying part after that is you have to do all these other appointments to make sure you're healthy enough for surgery uh so you have to so you had to go see his primary care doctor and it's so strange to be like hey i have uh a tumor in my colon am i allowed to get surgery like what would the doctor be like you're not healthy what do you do just leave it there yeah that's interesting i don't even have a dude i don't even have a primary care oh really i do i need to get one i have uh i have kaiser permanente love it love that shit really yeah that's good i like yeah because you can also do online visits and also some stuff too she's like if you need a prescription for this like stuff that i've had before she's like yeah just message me if you need a new thing i just yeah i need to go and find one but then i'm also like these patient firsts and urgent

cares are so convenient yeah you don't have to can you get like a physical there though yeah i think so they do patient first is uh almost an emergency room so they do i've done x-rays ekgs because you know i'm like uh-huh my hypochondriac yeah yeah um what kaiser's great too i love the one downtown because that turns into an urgent care after like 5 p.m so if you are a member already um but yeah so then you have then he had to make an appointment with his uh because he's had heart attacks, so his cardiologist, you have to make an appointment with him to make sure your heart is healthy enough to get anesthesia. And so it's so weird.

They're like, all right, you have this life-threatening thing. Here's a bunch of homework and set all this shit up. What do most Americans do? Most Americans probably aren't healthy. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like, if you have cancer and they're like, well, let's's make sure we can operate like what are you gonna do you're just gonna leave the tumor yeah i guess so i don't know hey lose some weight and then we'll get that thing out

of there god damn um and then he has to get a ct scan as well to make sure that uh the cancer hasn't spread uh so when it's in the colon, the next place it usually goes is the liver. So they have to make sure that it didn't go to the liver. Because if it did go to the liver, they wouldn't operate. They would do chemo. Because it would be like multiple tumors and a bigger surgery. So yeah, trying to schedule with his fucking primary care doctor. That was a nightmare.

So I called. He called first and was like, hey, I have colon cancer and i need to see my doctor and they're like all right well we'll get back to you on an appointment and never called back oh boy covid probably makes everything rough i guess i think it's just the doctor just doesn't give a fuck like you know sometimes you have an appointment for something and then they're like hey do you mind if we move you back to 2 p.m and you're scheduled for like 8 and you're like well what the fuck it's stuff like this yeah yeah yeah like i'm like move some shit around like don't be like well we're booked up like right cancel somebody or you know what i mean or like bump them or something yeah

um so i called back four hours later because they didn't call back and i was like i'm calling on behalf of my dad he has colon cancer i think we called earlier and they're like, hey, I'm calling on behalf of my dad. He has colon cancer. I think we called earlier. And they're like, oh, okay, we're going to upgrade your message from important to urgent. Like, why wasn't it urgent from the beginning? Yeah. Like, you say colon cancer. Like, that sounds important.

Like, what? I know, man. Some people, hey, people don't care. Their jobs. It's very, very – and to be a doctor to be like nah i can't fit chin can't do it like what so that i know dude i but that that's another reason i don't like primary care physicians are like uh i'm like oh hey uh yeah i'm like bleeding out of my asshole and they're like all right we'll see you in two and a half weeks. Yeah. Oh, if you're lucky.

Yeah. I know. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. No, I like Kaiser a lot, dude, because, yeah, it's like they have the whole app where you can message the doctor and all that stuff. It's pretty nice. I like an app. Dude, that's how you get all your results in there, too. You're getting older.

The only apps I use are for, like, paying my mortgage, my credit cards, cards my bank all my insurance stuff and it's like all i thought about that the other day like if i got into an accident i couldn't imagine yeah having to wait for paperwork to mail paperwork to get photos developed i mean my god that dude like that's the trade-off of cell phones like i get it it's ruining kids it's ruining society but i i wouldn't change it cell phones fucking rule bro i mean so worth ruining our whole way of life yeah all of society yeah dude on it like if i had to mail shit yeah if i had to print photographs yeah i mean my god like i couldn't imagine it's funny it's like teen suicides on the rise but i filed my taxes and got a return in like a week i mean come on adult suicide must go down no it probably went up people feel more lonely yeah yeah All that shit's so isolating, which is funny.

It's like social media brings us together. Now it's more like, well, fuck that person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, dude, phones are so – I couldn't imagine living – like using a map. Oh. Not only to – going to another state, not a big deal but finding a very specific address of like your friend's home in another state i don't understand how people did that shit i mean even yeah like yeah having like an atlas and being like all right i'm gonna a10 okay that's towson all right now let's let's

dig in a little more on the next page where it's a little blown up version of the map and even before that uh there's a yahoo maps oh yeah printing that shit out yeah yeah man that's another thing like even you had to have a print you don't have to have a printer in your house when i go to someone's house and they have a printer i'm like what the fuck are you doing come on get rid of this shit because they're like i got it for free i had a printer i'm like what the fuck are you doing come on get rid of this shit because they're like i got it for free i had a printer for a while because when i first got my laptop they're like we'll give you one i was like okay same an apple laptop yeah bro i got it i got two free printers yeah i gave one away one printer never left the box i moved with it

four different homes and finally i just literally took it to the dump yeah never opened it because i guess i could have put it out for free but i just i was like i don't know sometimes to me like trying to get rid of stuff is more work yeah i'm just like we're taking everything to the dump i'm not like yeah unless i can make real good money but i'm not i don't know like i don't like putting stuff out on the street a lot because then you have to worry like if people didn't take it now you're gonna bring it in you don't want the litter goodwill also has a system now where like you can just pull up your car and all the shit in your trunk and guys just take it out whatever it is like printer shoes that's cool love that i'll

try to do that shit instead of the dump but some stuff where it's like i don't know dumb shit like a picture frame or stuff like that like when i was cleaning out the basement i was like fuck it just put it all in the garbage yeah like a shitty pillow i'm like i don't even want to give this to somebody because here's the thing i understand someone can use it yeah but it's But it's still taking up space in the world. Yeah. But just it's still everything. That's like a great Louie joke.

He's like New York City is just one big piece of litter. You know, like who gives a shit if you throw a piece of paper on the ground? Yeah. It's not ruining. The world was already ruined with New York City being built. Yeah, yeah. But so that's how I think. I'm just like, look, it's all litter.

I don't give a shit. My life and time is worth more than. Yeah, if I have the time or if it's a bunch of shit, like, I did take a lot of stuff to Goodwill. Because I was like, all right, it's like a computer bag and like a lot of stuff to um goodwill because i was like all right it's like a computer bag and like a chair and stuff like that but if it's not if it's fucked up yeah in the least bit i'm like yeah just never had a yard sale in my life i've never done a yard so karen did one last weekend she took her shit like all this shit she has in her basement and she sold nothing she made like 30 bucks and i'm'm like, was that?

Dude. Yeah. The time you took to sift through this bullshit. Because you have to think about it like a job. You basically put in eight hours to get $30. Not even minimum wage. You're sifting through this stuff. You organize it.

You labeled it. We loaded up your car. You drove. Unloaded your car. Yeah. Stood there. Sold like nothing. Then reloaded your car. Unloaded your car you drove there unloaded your car yeah sold the stood there sold like nothing then reloaded your car unloaded your car not worth 30 bro no no the effort versus return is a huge thing yeah huge huge thing yeah and honestly with like the internet i don't understand why people do yard sales anymore i don't understand antiquing either like even in in our neighborhood they're

like here's another antique store like who's buying this shit they do all and that's funny because most antique stores do most of their business online and the stores just kind of function as like storage slash like gotcha extra sales yeah and kind of i guess a way to like advertise a little bit but yeah i remember liking yard sales as a kid but i was also like i don't know seven or eight and if my like mom or aunt would go like this is cool i might be able to find a toy you know like because it was cheap but as an adult i'm like come on yeah yeah i know because it's basically like why don't you take our garbage well it's also funny um i noticed too like when you go to yard sales you know know, you have all these, like, old shitty shirts and bullshit.

Yeah. And then you're like, oh, that's funny because, like, most of the stores now in, like, cool hip neighborhoods are like a yard sale. You're just flipping through and there's, like, it's a Little League shirt from a state that you're not even in. But people think it's, like, cool to wear that kind of, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, it's the poughkeepsie tigers literally yeah and like so you'll go to like a hipster whatever like vintage store and they have that i'm like oh this is 25 dollars oh at a minimum yeah and the crazy thing is is they went to a

yard sale or they went to the goodwill that's what i don't get about these these stores it's it's like um it's kind of evil if you think about it because what they'll do is like they'll go like a rich white lady will go to a store sift through all that sift through and be and find like a nice pair of jeans i could have went to a poor person you know a person and then for like three dollars and they're like oh i'm gonna buy these for three dollars and sell it for 50 and that's america there is a shop uh when we were in nashville mary was telling me that i think there was a shop that was catching shit or it was maybe like on uh twitter or something like that people were complaining about that with like vintage stuff where they're saying it's classist that they don't have access to a Rolling Stones shirt and stuff like that.

But see, some of that stuff, I'm like, you don't need a Rolling Stones shirt to survive, you know, or like the ACDC shirt. You know, it's like because that's four hundred dollars. I don't think you're taking anything away. Right. It's not. Yeah, I'm like mostly joking. I know, but it is gentrification in a way where it's like, I'm going to take this, flip it, and sell it for way more than I bought it for. Right, exactly.

And then it's funny because those people that do that and then those people that buy that stuff are most likely the ones who complain about capitalism. You know? We got to be socialist. They're the ones who complain about capitalism. We've got to be socialist. They're Bernie supporters. I was going to say they have a Bernie sticker on their car which is full of vintage

clothes. But you just paid $50 for an old Metallica shirt and you don't even like Metallica? That is... I don't know. Maybe you deserve a subprime mortgage loan. Maybe. Maybe we should inflate that percentage. I don't know. Maybe you deserve a subprime mortgage loan. Maybe. Maybe we should inflate that percentage.

Yeah. I remember. You should take advantage of your stupid ass. I mean, also, I get it. Metallica was cool, but they're not cool anymore. Excuse me. You don't think guys in their 50s, near 60s playing heavy metal isn't cool? Not at all.

How dare you? Yeah. Lars ripping it back there on the sticks. And then when you look back on it, you're like, why was this band ever cool, actually? Great name. Metallica is a good name. Cool logo. True.

Cool logo. They got some bangers. Do they? Enter Sandman. Come on. I never liked Metallica. Sad but true. To me, it's a boring voice. Sad but true? Yeah. It's a boring voice.

James Hetfield? Yeah. That's fine. I think it was also just... There's also just... Oh, ooh. Yeah. Ooh.

Wait, what was that one song? Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. I guess because they were also... I mean, they were were around in what like the fucking 70s or something so it's like yeah so it's played out now but i think at the time like this is fucking heavy yeah um yeah bright bright side sold that shit i remember going going there and uh

bought a metallica shirt and i was like be. You got people listening. Yeah, exactly. Hey, all right. Record now. Imagine how miserable you have to be to listen to our podcast just to get dirt. If you're doing that right now, damn, dude. You got to fucking go to therapy, work

out, do something. Please get a fucking eye. I told my Karen that that that uh someone listened to our podcast just to for the dirt yeah uh just to collect some intel he was like man i can't believe someone would listen to you guys talk for an hour yes just to get upset yeah like also just like with the earbud in like all right yeah ready with like a pencil to write it down um but yeah she was buying a metallica shirt and i was like hey karen what are your top five songs that you like i'll take top two what are the top two you like and there's a girl at work there she's like don't be that guy

i was like you don't be that girl how about that don't be that guy i love what do you mean it's a band shirt do you like that band that's a fair question crazy i mean and the shirt's like 50 it's exactly what we're talking about yeah i mean i'd look i'm open-minded if you want to wear skate shoes you don't skateboard i'm not gonna call you a poser fine but yeah a band t-shirt especially when it's don't listen to the goddamn band and it's different too it's like i got it for a dollar who gives a fuck like i'll wear it when i work out or whatever but i'm like this is now fashionable and the same people who say like fuck old white men are the same types

the brooklyn white chicks that are walking around with old white men on their shirt. You're going to say that about Lars Ulrich right now? Fuck old white men. I guess fuck James Hetfield, huh? Yeah. The guy that wrote Load and Reload? Just no. They don't understand just like how stupid their life is. Yeah, or have like a Marilyn Manson t-shirt on.

Yeah. I'd be like, fuck old white men. I'm like, this guy actually got me too. He's a bad person. Oh, man, dudes. people are so fucking silly i love it it's crazy that is a good call it is so funny yeah fuck old white men except you know anthrax is pretty rad yeah dude i was listening to anthrax the other day because i was like oh i never checked them out again not my my kind of music. Yeah. Uh, I appreciate what they did. Yes. Yeah. I don't like anthrax.

I just don't get that kind of metal. I'm glad I wasn't around when that was like the thing, you know? Yeah. Like even like some slayer, I can kind of see him like, these are cool riffs. Right.

Um, I got something embarrassing that for some reason I, uh, I was listening to Spotify on Shuffle or something. And then one of the bands, I didn't make any sense why, but Linkin Park came on. And I was like, oh, man, this song is good. And I used to love Linkin Park. Like when their first album came out.

Oh, yeah. i was in especially to seventh grade or sixth grade yeah i must have been like in eighth or ninth yeah i was in six because it came out in 2000 so yeah i was i was probably in eighth but i mean also that first album was just there's like nine singles on it too yes yeah and uh but yeah and then i started i went down like a Lincoln Park rabbit hole. And I thought. As you do. Yeah.

I think you killed yourself. People are lame. Anyways, Lincoln Park was underappreciated. I don't think they were underappreciated. They were huge, apparently. Because I never followed, kept up with them. Oh, they were massive. Massive.

Massive. Yeah, like huge festivals. It is funny. Whenever you do angry white guy music, I mean, you're going to be huge. Linkin Park, I mean, Disturbed, Slipknot, like all those bands. Yeah, you do. But Linkin Park was different, though, because you tap into not not just angry white guy but it was also like yo this is cool like yeah like bro-y kind of stuff too because they also had turntables

still you know with like a sampler and dj and all that yeah yeah yeah and uh mike shinoda um rapping so yeah he's you know and plays guitar yeah talented very talented fellas um anyway yeah i was just listening to them yeah and i thought uh i was like man i'm gonna start running to lincoln park some good running music oh dude the shit that i run or work out to i mean talk about metal music like the angriest stuff oh really or hip-hop like yeah just some of like the gnarly like i'm like yeah i'll run to rick ross and he's like i'll fucking kill you and i'm like yeah kill i know people say that rap or hip-hop is the best so i can't well i don't listen to it yeah normally but yeah working out i don't know it doesn't it doesn't get me going

uh there's some of it i like and then i also feel like the the whole poser thing too so like listening to like a kendrick lamar song about racism in America. Right. Like his pain with it and what he's seeing. Like watching people die. And I'm just like, man, I'm making great time. Yeah. When I work out, I want to listen to white men in their 30s complain about high school.

Yeah. And how they're crawling in their skin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I love all that metal shit too i like i'd listen to vein i'm a big fan of uh uh and have you listened to that band that shit rips system of a down was huge i love armenian but they're a legitimately good band they're yeah their first two records

maybe even the third one but yeah the first two jesus christ they were so good uh bro and then i watched this like 20 minute mini doc that vice does on certain songs i watched the one on slip uh not slip uh papa roach's last resort yeah dude the lead singer papa roach is actually a very cool guy. Jacoby? Yeah. Jacoby Shattuck? He seems very down to earth, has crazy demons, but he's pretty self-aware. He comes off as a very thoughtful human being. Yeah. And that song is about a very specific event where he watched his friend almost like he his friend had a men they were doing shrooms

or acid and his friend had like a mental breakdown and cut his arm because he tried to kill himself oh and so that thing you know it's funny because we all make fun of that song we're like cut my arm into pete what the fuck this guy's a this fucking idiot and then you know it's one of the most like uh depressing times of his life yeah and it's based on like a real pain and not just like just like man mom and dad suck right and another thing i noticed too about because his story is crazy he had a single mom they were homeless at some point like they would live in it in like the like him his siblings and the mom would like sleep in the car and then just to hear like you know like cool kids like like shitting on popper i mean fuck popper these pieces of shit yeah they suck they suck and they're posers or they're

bitches or whatever you know they make shitty and it's like this guy doesn't get any credit from going to sleeping in a car to selling out stadiums yeah it's being a zero credit multi multi-millionaire you can't even say he's a little bit talented i was gonna say yeah you know what i mean i mean that's it's it blows my mind because yeah it's not like he had like rich parents or it's like well yeah my uncle owns a record label. And, you know, I got lucky with that. But, yeah, like, coming literally from nothing. You grew up in a middle class home.

Yeah. And you're crying because you want your student loans forgiven because you majored in, like, sociology. And now you work at a coffee shop. Right. Which there's nothing wrong with working at a coffee shop. But being like, again. That guy sucks. Yeah. nothing wrong with working at a coffee shop but but being like again that guy's socks yeah same kind of people who are so judgmental about music and what's cool what's not right i mean this guy

is compared to you is a fucking king and also if they framed it in a way of like a now this video with like a soft right you know of like here's a picture of jacoby at age nine living in a ford taurus now here he is what an inspiring story like this guy's incredible picture of Jacoby at age nine, living in a Ford Taurus. And now here he is. What an inspiring story. Like, this guy's incredible. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The first time you see him, he's like, this is my last resort.

Like, you suck. So then I started listening to that first Papa Rocha album. Most of it is not great. There's a couple bangers on that album, though. I mean, that guy had some riffs, too. Yeah. And it's also funny. I mean, Christ, they're like 20 when they on that album though i mean that guy had some riffs too yeah and it's also funny i mean because they're like 20 when they write that album guitar the guitar player the drummer

is great like yeah honestly last resort great riff it's a cool riff it just got played out yeah my uh i'll always remember this and i i think i might have told you about it before but i remember working at lido's and uh it was a fr Friday night and we were slammed, like just super busy. And so the way it was set up was the kitchen, you had like the grill side where you make like subs and pastas. And then there's the pizza oven in the middle. And then the other side was like the pizza side. And on both sides, they had like a little hole cut in the wall with the with like a zip cord and when you had a ticket the people up front would put a ticket on a hook and like

slide it back and so on friday nights on pizza side it was just like tickets tickets tickets and you just have like a wall of pink tickets hanging there and it would suck too because you know that you're like i just have all the shit to do it keeps coming so you'd have somebody that would roll out the pizzas put it on the tray and then somebody that would top it and i remember i was topping pizzas and this kid this kid he was rolling pizzas but and it's stressful but it's not the end of the world but we had the radio on and uh pop roach's last resort was playing you know the bridge when he's like i yeah live instead of the kid every time he would like roll he was like i can't it was so stressful like you're not gonna fucking kill yourself like lito's on cat island settle down yeah that's also embarrassing like

singing along to angry music. Live like this. And people hear, like, my friends made fun of me so much because they heard me singing along to Linkin Park. Yeah. And, you know, I'm just like, shut up when I'm talking to you. I'm just so embarrassed. It's like, why are you this angry? You're in an air-conditioned home. Relax, bro.

Relax. You're eating snacks. I know. Shut bro Relax Shut up I still love that shit though Every time I die Any big riffs or huge breakdowns I'm like yeah I still love that shit

People can shit on that kind of music But yeah they write very catchy Songs And it's fucking hard Most people who complain Don't know they don't make stuff yeah exactly they're not artists like us hey we're you know you know we got two songs in the can we got two songs pretty much in the can yeah i was working on that uh the other song that we recorded and then all the stuff happened yeah and yeah i was supposed to be in california

this week what a bummer So I had to cancel that. But it's all good. I didn't want to go to California and be like, what? What is it, old man? I can't hear you over the hot tub. Listen, that cancer will be there when I get back. Take a break. But yeah, so now he's scheduled for March 30th to get the surgery. Nice.

And then, yeah, this week is all the appointments and so yeah on on tuesday i'll be listening to papa roach and angsty while he's in surgery live like this what are you doing it's just pizza damn dude that's so funny um but yeah so matt uh they're saying um he'll be in the hospital like two to four days um and then after like two weeks he should be back to normal if everything goes fine that's huge uh they're saying the um infection rate is high though but it's only a 10 chance with okay with the the the doctor is like and also i'm like it the how do you end up at these jobs like you know we're saying like you see this stuff all the time but to be like a specific like colon doctor like they were talking about like so what have your stools been like and this and that and

like you know and like that's your life because you're like yes he's having thinner stools now and that's a part of it but he was saying so like the surgery you it's the chance of infection is higher just because that's literally where all your shit is right right in your colon so uh but he's saying it's only a 10 chance but apparently that's like the highest yeah it goes with these surgeries nice dude so so yeah yeah it's just yeah very weird damn um yeah man oh did you you did do you did you do any shows this week i did uh i did mcgoobies uh last week that was a lot of fun did that on uh last thursday that was great nice man yeah that was actually and it was so nice out too so everybody got to hang out outside so seeing people like rob mayor and uh eric woodward justin schlegel like

it was so fun good all good dude eddie lyles was a lot of fun eddie lyles is so funny i love i love he's just like a he's this big black guy but he's a fucking nerd yeah and he's the nicest he's the nicest and he's so funny like he can bust balls in a sweet way too oh yeah yeah but they retold the story of a comic oh great story the comic who speaking of like being on mushrooms seeing some shit i think uh of a comic who got beat up at a movie theater i don't know if we talked about it on here who cares tell the story but he so uh a couple friends of, they love to go see movies on mushrooms. I think this was like either the, I think it was the second Avengers. Yeah. So they did mushrooms and.

By the way, I don't, I mean, I've only done shrooms once. Yeah. I couldn't imagine seeing a movie. Yeah. In a theater. Yeah. And also you're around people that you're like comfy with too. Yeah.

And you're still like, all right, this is a lot. is a lot right i gotta chill like imagine being in a packed theater of strangers yeah yeah yeah um like tripping trip they also were like we're gonna microdose it's like we're gonna fucking see some shit yeah uh balls off yeah so um this guy one of the comics there um he thought like this group was talking and and so he told him he was like hey shut the fuck up or something like that and it was like towards the beginning of the movie why bring that energy anytime anywhere anytime you don't know what people are capable of yeah exactly i i get it you're like i don't want you to ruin them but you're also tripping like yeah chill it'll be fine you'll probably block that out and then you'll be sucked into this fucking cgi world for two and a half hours or whatever it is but so you're like hey shut the

fuck up and this kid stands up and he's like who the fuck said that and like a a 14 year old child i think but i think they couldn't tell at the time, but they could tell it was a teenager. Yeah. And so it's also dark in the theater, and so it's like, who the fuck said that? And I think somebody was like, oh, over here. And he's like, after the movie, I'm going to beat your fucking ass. Damn. And so movie is like two and a half hours long yeah movie ends

the dude who told them to shut the fuck up is still in his seat and then the kid got up and just beat the shit out of him and so the guy was also in a recliner chair so he's like fully relaxed and apparently the kid just mounted him and just kept punching him. And they're saying too, since he was reclining and his head was on the chair, his head was like bouncing into his fist. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Like ended up breaking his orbital bone, I think his nose. And I'm like, why wouldn't you leave?

Well, he wanted to watch the last scene he wanted to watch the credits apparently he was banking on that kid waiting to watch the other after credit scene he's like yeah this kid wants to beat me up but surely he's gonna wait till sam jackson shows up at the end to god damn dude also i would leave immediately right yeah i'm out of there like okay i'm gonna beat your ass out of the middle of the night. Yeah, I would wait maybe like 40 minutes and then try to sneak out of there. Yeah. Can you imagine being on shrooms?

You're like, oh, fuck, this guy's going to kill me. Yeah, especially if I was on shrooms and someone said that. Yes. Holy shit. Peace. I'm out of here. But whoever that kid was who did it yeah that person a hundred percent is gonna end up in jail one at one point in their life because think about how crazy you

have to be that you're like you're mad but you can control it enough to sit through a movie, but you still hold the grudge that you still beat the shit out of someone after the movie. It's Avengers. You're like, I'm here. You know, I got to take this in.

I'm not going to ruin Avengers. I mean, that's wild to me. It is funny. Yeah. To completely compartmentalize and be like, God damn, this is crazy.

Woo. All right, that's over. I'm going to beat your ass now. Right. To be so pissed. Cause I think like the person's mom was talking, right? Yeah. Or like, God damn, this is crazy. All right, that's over. I'm going to beat your ass now. Right. To be so pissed. Because I think the person's mom was talking, right? Yeah.

Or he was- Yeah, he's like, nobody says that to my mom or something like that. Yeah. So then he sits down. And now I just picture him laughing at all the dumb jokes that Tony Stark's making. Yeah, you know? He's like, oh, man. And then after the movie, he's just like, man, I got to beat this guy's ass.

Yeah, it's like, well, that was pretty good. Where's that kid at? Yeah. So to beat this guy's ass. Yeah. It's like, well, that was pretty good. Where's that kid at? Yeah. So that's a scary human being. Fuck. But also, you know what? I hope that guy who got his ass kicked learned a lesson because you can't just go through life talking like that.

Even if you're in the street and someone bumps into you, just you don't need to say, hey, watch where you're in the street and someone bumps into you just you don't need to say hey watch where you're going yeah just keep walking man because you don't know what people could do to you or what they're going through like yeah no no fucking way but me and deacons matt deacons we were laughing because eddie lyles was saying that he like he was supposed to meet up with them but he was late black what what oh i was gonna say traffic oh sorry um but uh he showed up late and then so he just thought that like some guy was just randomly beating the shit out of brock so he went to like go chase him and we were joking we were joking that we're like well yeah

you were you had your security shirt on right because he just looks like a bouncer yeah and he's like i was actually wearing my shirt that says not security on it and so me and matt were laughing that eddie lyles only has two t-shirts one that says security one that says not security like he's like well now i'm going to work now i'm security damn now that's funny oh man uh but yeah what are you gonna do when you catch a 14 year old child he i was like i think i couldn't tell i don't think he could tell but yeah then he was like oh shit and so he was also like yeah i also thought they were behind me i thought like brian preston and like tommy sambazo were with me and i was like what the fuck you guys get i'm like yeah but those are big guys but they're also not fighters if i was there i would say hey person who's getting your ass kicked you brought this on

yourself i'm not jumping in yeah i remember i was at a batch i gotta see this end credit scene i showed up to a bachelor party late because i had a show and so they were all pretty fucked not like crazy because yeah but they were pretty uh buzzed or drunk so and we're in fells point on a fucking friday night fells point is cool as shit at night it's horrible it's just drunk assholes everywhere the reason you go to these bars is to bar hop get drunk whatever yeah not my thing but so we go to this one bar we all paid 50 each to have a reserve section with food and stuff didn't have it ready what whatever who gives a shit yeah so there's these people playing a game of pool and you know when you play pool you throw you leave money on the table

and the winners take it yeah i guess like the guys finished the game but left the money on the table yeah my friend's brother who was the best man because my friend was getting married so my friend's brother fat like there was a 20 bill on the pool table no one's around he took it my friend speaking of marvel nerds yeah a huge nerd um and so he was wearing like a a big hulk hand that had like a cup holder in it you know like you have like a chalice yeah yeah so he put the 20 in my friend's cup hulk cup holder uh-huh this huge buff drunk bro yeah sees the 20 and he's like what the fuck are you doing with my money the situation could have been so easily resolved to be like oh i'm sorry i didn't realize i thought nobody all the brother had to be like yeah man here you go my bad i saw it i thought it'd be funny to put in be like yeah man here you go my bad i saw it i

thought it'd be funny to put in the hall can yeah here you go yeah but the brother comes back super aggressive because he was matching because i guess like in his head he's like i gotta protect my little brother or something also whenever there's alcohol in the mix too with that shit it's different so now there's yelling? Yeah. So me and my two friends are sitting at the table. And we're all, like, best friends. Like, me, the guy getting married, and these two others. Like, we're really good friends.

Yeah. And they started to get up to, like, get in. Dude, the guy and his friends all are jacked bros. And I was like, sit down. I was like, if they get in a fight yeah we're not getting involved he brought this on himself i'm not getting arrested for anybody yeah what are you gonna do then also we're all gonna get our ass kicked yeah we're all scrawny pieces of shit and even beyond that you don't know how to fight you don't know how to fight and guess what we're in the wrong yes true yeah yeah it's different if it's like hey this guy just like punched my girlfriend or something you know

what i mean or like yeah you know where but it's like you stole his 20 the rage that the other guy like his you could just tell like this isn't a stable human being. Yeah. And they started pushing. Tables fall over. Glasses break. It was horrible. Yeah. And then the bachelor party ended at like 10 o'clock. All right, guys.

Well, congrats. See you later. And the bar was cool. They gave us all our money back. Oh, no shit. Yeah, because they were like, sorry, those guys. They blamed it on those guys i guess not bad but man it's just you just everyone just chill it's just not yeah who cares about being a pussy who gives a shit i was with my dad yeah and also

too like some shit where did you see that um video i think it's a couple weeks old now but it's uh those guys in a bathroom that beat the shit out of those Ohio State football players. What happened? So it's kind of what we're talking about. It's in a bathroom at a bar, like a college bar, and it's like two bigger dudes talking shit to two smaller dudes. The two bigger dudes are Ohio State football football players which is like one of the like the top tier college okay football team so it's like these guys they're pretty big and they're also like legit when it's like my cousin plays football yeah college like that's like one of

the good ones um and those those two dudes and then two smaller dudes who are like mma guys not like professional but like backstory is they've been doing mma like since they're like seven and they're brothers and they literally like so the two big guys are like talking shit and the one you hear it or yeah you can you can you can kind of hear it but there's like some people are like oh or like and the guy that's filming it um so the two and you can't really hear it but it looks like the smaller ones like one of the dudes looks at him like out of a movie it's like which one do you want like we're gonna fuck these guys up but which one do you want he's like i want him so then

they just go at it in a bathroom yeah yeah at a bar so it's bigger like you know it's not like people were like we'll follow them into the bathroom i think there are already people in there because there's like multiple stalls and stuff like that. And somebody might have might have been their bro who like film the whole thing. But plus, I think it's just like three or four guys. Yeah. And then like literally there's one guy like steps out of a stall is like. Yeah. Oh, that's so funny.

No, thanks. But one of the dudes ends up grabbing the other guy like punches him gets on top of him and you can tell he's out like like against the wall and the guy just takes his head and throws it like into the wall and keeps punching like god did they get arrested i think so i haven't followed up on it but it blew up and like because that's the same thing of like, and also a lot of people were like, yeah, good for them. I bet they were talking shit.

It's like, you don't know. We have no clue what happened. The smaller guys could have been dickheads. Yeah. But still, but that's the thing. Like,

was it a racial thing? You think? No, four white guys. Oh, okay. Four white guys. Thank God.

Yeah. Um, and, uh, yeah, but that's the thing where you're like, yeah, we're going to beat these fucking smaller guys ass. They're like, okay, cool.

Let's do it. You know, and then you're basically a brain damage the rest of your life. Cause you're like, what up? I'm tough. Oh my God. Fuck. That's crazy, dude. Crazy.

Yeah. I'll show it to you after this. Yeah. Fucking, fucking insane. I'm pumped to watch. Uh, my guy to say it's really gross how much I love watching people fighting on, on the Yeah, I'll show it to you after this. It's fucking insane. I'm pumped to watch. I gotta say, it's really gross how much I love watching people fighting on the internet. It grosses me out a bit.

This one I had to watch because it was so insane. Yeah. But I think it is like a primal thing of just we like, especially if the person who deserved to get their ass kicked gets their ass kicked. Yeah. That's, uh-oh, best case scenario. Yeah. Yeah. But no, I like boxing and shit. I was at my, Mary and I went to my dad's and we watched some retrospective on Ali versus

Frazier. Oh, okay. And they sold out Madison Square Garden. Like, think about that. Like, an arena full of people are like, I want to watch you beat this guy up. Yeah. I mean, that's what MMA is.

Yeah. Yeah. It was fucking insane. I almost got in a fight with my dad and fucking in Giants when we went to go see my grandma at the Giant in Annapolis. Why? We were going down an aisle, and part of the aisle was blocked because

they were stocking the shelves and uh there's a guy behind my dad and i and he was like can you move over and matt was like no wait a minute and the guy's like fuck did you say and it was like older older dude probably in like his 60s too my dad's in his 60s and i'm like what are we gonna fight in the yogurt aisle let's let's chill out so what happened like basically just it was a lot of like what the fuck you're gonna do what the fuck you're gonna do and he's like get the fuck out of here you get you're getting ignorant that's your fucking problem and it's like all right man damn being an asshole crazy it was uh that shit was weird like it's my 65 year old dad about to get in a fight

god damn that's so crazy what are we doing um yeah before we uh before we wrap up oh i gotta tell you this because i want to ask you about the shows but uh so uh i live in an end unit yeah as you know um but for the people at home. So there's cars along the side. Yes. A couple weeks ago. How many times is this fucking bell going to go off? Too many fucking times. All right. I feel like you should wait.

All right. There you go. Too many fucking times. This is so distracting. That's some ambient noise. Yeah. Don't worry. It happens.

11.45, 12, 3, 4.45. You know, because people need a bell to tell time. Yeah, to tell time yeah yeah we all don't have a fucking clock in our pocket at all times anyway uh um so uh a couple weeks ago um mary's like i saw this old couple making out in a car next to the house and she's like it was weird they like kind of looked around and then they were like in the car making out i was like oh it's like some old couple that's cheating yeah um and then uh i was going to leave i was going to target or something and i looked out the window and i saw the old couple in the car and i was like holy shit that's them and then the dude pulled his dick out and she gave my handjob in the car right there. It was so fucking weird.

Yeah. Do you think she's a prostitute? That's what we were kind of thinking, but they're both a little older. He had a wedding ring on. She did not. It's probably a prostitute. Probably drugs. They look like they do drugs.

No, it was weird because the guy has like tribal tattoo sleeves but then when he got out of the car he had the like bald gray hair on the sides and like look not like well to do but then they just both like walked down the street together and i wanted to follow him because i'm like do they work together on the avenue or something but they got out of the car and they both had like post brunch energy. Kind of like, well, we did that. What do you want to do now? Wow.

A hand job. In the car. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. Hey, good for them, man. Maybe they're in love. Yeah.

But I'm like, that is some cheating behavior. Because you're not like, hey, let's go back to our house. Damn, I wonder if I know them. Older guy. Older. Like, how old do you think? 50s for sure. Late 50s.

I could know him. Mid to late 50s. Big guy? Small guy? Big guy. Tall, like taller. Not like fat, but. Interesting.

Yeah. Nice hog on him. Ooh. Nice hog. Wow. Nice hog. But it was very weird because I looked out the window And I was like oh there's an old couple

Oh my god Holy shit It was so weird Man I haven't seen something like that in a long time I've never seen anything like that Like just a strange It was funny too somebody walked down the sidewalk And then they like stopped for a second

Alright nobody's watched Wow Bolt see somebody walk down the sidewalk and then they like stop for a second they're like all right nobody's watched i'm like yeah you're all good wow bold oh dude it was weird weird weird weird damn dude oh but uh the shows were yeah well oh so last week i did a show on wednesday and it was like um oh by the way they never paid me i gotta fucking talk to them um so it was in dc and i guess dc can just start doing shows uh but i don't know if you're allowed to sell tickets for shows or something i'm not sure what but anyway so i do the show and it's like a kind of like a pop-up type vibe yeah so it's a it's a in a it's a just a bunch of cool kids like like cool young 20 year old yeah uh very like i would say like hip mostly like hip black young crowd and they

were fine but i guess it's just funny it was the maybe the first time where i realized maybe i'm not cool like yeah and i don't appeal to like younger adults anymore because i went up and and also i've been very spoiled this past year i realized like i've only done at like very like cool like awesome shows with like cool comedians cool clubs yeah or whatever and they're older crowds and they're you know they're just like um yeah they're just older probably not as woke and and they're more looking to have fun than also be like it's a vibe yeah exactly so i go up and just like my what like i do this joke about dating you know an older white woman named karen and how like ever since her name's become a slur it's made our sex life that much naughtier and usually that gets a little laugh yeah it got like the

and then i did the next couple lines and it got like more so what what's the because you say it's a slur and you like it. Like you're not supposed to like. I know. And then how infuriating is that in the moment? I hate that when they're like, oh, no, it's like, you know, I'm kidding. The rage that went through my body. It's a comedy. I said, fuck it.

Let it go, dude. Let it go. So then I did my next joke where i talk about how without like a beanie on because i'm bald i look like i smoke hookah with members of isis great joke also got nothing that joke fucking murders it got nothing and then this cool young black kid goes oh nah man that ain't right and i thought like he thought i was being like hateful but he was just like nah you look good dude you're like thank you but that's not the point of what we're saying i know but i'm just making a joke about an insecurity i have but i think like dude i think maybe i young people don't like i

think there is this new trend of i think the tide has turned on self-deprecating humor and especially when it comes off as because i don't have like a weird shaped head or anything but i do not like being bald right you know but it's just it's a it was an interesting dynamic and then well it's also just funny to joke about your appearance anyway like it's a way of saying like hey i know what i am to the crowd like we can relate have some common ground for sure and i guess some people you know if it's like a hot guy or hot girl and they talk about being ugly or fat like that gets annoying yes yes yes but this was whatever so and then dude i put you know i was only doing like eight minutes i must have said fuck you to

that crowd 20 times i just didn't care i was so mad i do love that they're like you're not ugly you're a king yeah like big up yourself come on i mean cool good for them but i know but it's funny just like no man you're good like i'm here to fuck around so fucking annoying anyway yeah but yeah so then i did uh i got to feature for this awesome like just awesome comic an awesome guy like super normal down to earth he's a like he's a dad who lives in this small town in minnesota i was gonna say i thought he's like from minneapolis or something no he's uh a town he's in a town uh that is 13 000 people wow small town yeah that's i think that's about what ken island was when i grew up yeah yeah so

chad daniels right chad daniels yeah so if you don't know who he is, look up his stuff. It's all on streaming platforms. It's so fun. I mean, he's so funny. Yeah. And he's crazy because he's like this old, he's a 46-year-old white guy who is very progressive. Mm-hmm. And he brings that on stage, but he doesn't do it in a preachy way. Yeah.

Like, he is so good at making points and being so funny right um and uh so i requested this weekend because i really wanted to work with him and uh last minute uh they said oh yeah he's uh he's not bringing anyone you can feature for him i was like yes cool so i'm so pumped yeah thursday i get there and whatever it's it's a a light crowd yeah and um chad ended up being super late to the club because uber for some i don't know something was happening with uber and long story short whatever we don't get to talk much before the show so we do the high high i go on stage and buddy i yeah fucking bomb oh i mean two-man show two-man show oh yeah so you don't even have like the host to like that's like a palate cleanser it's just like me and that sucked and fuck here's the

headline i mean it wasn't like a a complete no, but it was just like, huh, huh. In that room, too, the Arlington Draft House. Which is a movie theater. It's massive. So high ceilings because it's a movie theater. Yeah. And it's huge. It's really fucking big, yeah.

And there's maybe 25 people in there. Yeah. Spread out. Which normally holds what, like sure yeah i'm dying and and you're doing what 20 20 at one point and it's one of those sets where it's not even fun you're just you're waiting for the light the whole time fuck off stage yeah and then the whole time in my head, I'm like, oh, well. Oh, also, first time I ever met the owner and his hot ass wife is there. Have you ever met his wife?

I met his old wife. Oh, he has a new wife. She's young and so hot. I'm guessing. Yeah, that's the new wife. She's probably in her, like, 20s or very early 30s. I have not met her. And he is old. He used to run that place with his wife i wonder

what happened with that oh well she said i'm just the owner's wife well but i'm saying like i guess his ex-wife that has to be weird having a business together yeah i don't know whatever his wife is is so hot yeah i mean but um it's neither here nor there so So, yeah, the first time she's watching from the back. He's, I hope he wasn't watching. And then I was doing so bad at one point that on stage I was like, guys, am I like, am I just like ruining the vibe? Are these jokes upsetting you? And then they're like, no, no. And then another time I apologized to Chad from stage.

I was like, dude, Chad, I'm so sorry. I don't know what's happening. You're like, I'm going to try my new bit where I apologize to the headliner. Yeah. Dude, that is. So then Chad goes on stage. The worst feeling. Yeah.

The worst feeling too. Because you're stuck and you cannot get out of it. Chad goes on stage worst feeling yeah the worst feeling too because you're stuck and you cannot get out of it chad goes on stage yeah and uh not doing great either like and i in my head i'm like okay cool cool cool yeah you never want to see a comedian do bad but when they are you're like nice i know when you did bad you're like yeah i'm not yeah because i was like texting i was like fuck i just bummed and um the owners there his wife and then you know you just don't want like all this staff that have never seen me before they're just like what the fuck is this guy doing yeah yeah yeah and um yeah chad's having a rough one too and uh at one point he just goes like oh you guys are fun and i was like yes

thursday shows always suck so he comes backstage and i was like dude i'm so sorry he's like no dude he's like i was dying back here like your shit is solid oh that's awesome yeah and he was like that was the worst show i've done in seven years oh my god he was like i'm not kidding he's like that was and then he was like from the he was like from the moment because when shows start there's usually uh someone what's called a god mic where you're from the back you're like oh make some how you guys doing welcome to the all-in-one the guy from the the manager on the god mic said make some noise they literally were just like yes that's that's the canary in the coal mine of any show just like you guys ready to have a good time and

they're like yeah so then friday when i so that was thursday friday i come yeah first first thing chad talks and he's like dude i thought about last night all night i texted a bunch of comic friends and there's one comic christa cefano they're good buddies yeah he recently had like a rough set too uh-huh so chad was like chris send me your set because i need to listen to it to feel better jesus and um yeah and so i was just like oh dude i'm so glad um because i it was the same and then yeah the friday early show only 30 people in the audience again but when the the the manager on the god mic says hey guys let's make some noise sounded like it was a full house bro i fucking went out and i told them like i was, last night's show fucking sucked.

You guys are going to be awesome. I got three applause breaks. I fucking murdered. Love that. It felt so good. That's the best feeling. Chad went out. He had nine.

And then every show, that rest of the weekend, awesome. I mean, we fucking brought it. It was so fun. Love that. That is the good thing about working a weekend like that, though, and having the first one go shitty. You're like, I have four more. And it motivates you, too. Oh, yeah. I'm going to fucking kill this one.

I changed my set. And then that was cool, too, because I completely changed my, well, not completely, but I changed the middle of my set list. And then, like, every show, I added new jokes. Nice. Me and Chad, like, tagged up one of my bits and it was really nice oh dude that's great it was cool it was so nice because chad like is his guy where he does comedy the way that i think i would want to do comedy where he was like i don't want to do show business i want to do comedy yeah he told his agents like i'm fuck going out on

auditions don't send me on auditions give me comedy work he only works every other weekend so he can be with his kids so he can like live a normal life it's fucking cool man that's great i mean and he makes really good money doing comedy yeah and it's also you don't get oversaturated too you're like this is special i only do this twice a month yeah yeah he's a guy who has principles and he sticks to him like he's he said there was one night where i was tired of dancing yeah you know being the dancing monkey and i just said fuck it i'm gonna talk about and so dude he goes out in in front of arlington like a very military heavy crowd yeah just shitting on trump shitting on conservatives shitting on like

like all like the bullshit that they say and and he dude he does well and when he doesn't do well he doesn't care it's insane that's great yeah because then yeah you're also happy you're like no this is how i truly feel yeah i'm not like bombing because I'm pandering. Dude, he has this great joke. He's like, he goes like, you know, he's like, I look like a terrorist. I am what a terrorist looks like now. A white guy with a beard. I'm a terrorist. An average looking white guy with a beard. And he's like, I don't know why we can't.

It's so hard for people to see that. Yeah. hard for people to see that yeah he he said you know a bunch of uh brown guys brought down two buildings with a bunch of rich people in it yeah never forget uh a guy in oklahoma brought down a building with a fucking nursery in it and well we don't remember we don't talk about that at all and it just there's one he had some joke with there but that was the premise right there was one crowd where dude they fucking hated him and then he was talking about um boomers uh or people who fought in world war two and how sad it must have been that like you fought like gay people fought world war ii then they had to come back and live a lie just because other people weren't cool with how certain people want to live their life yeah and this old dude in the crowd

just was like ah you're full of shit i am sick of your shit. You think the greatest generation that has ever lived couldn't make their own decision? A guy stood up and said that? Or he just shouted it? He was shouting it. Wow. And Chad was like, no, I want to hear you out. Yeah. It was very funny.

And then Chad goes, he didn't say it, but backstage he was like, I wanted to be like, excuse me, did you just call them the gayest generation? I was like, dude, that would have murdered. But it was just so funny because they both were agreeing that people having to hide the fact that they're gay is wrong. Yeah. But this guy just didn't like that he took away agency from the greatest generation. It was just so weird. Essentially said like, yeah, they were gay, but they weren't pussies. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah generation it was just so weird essentially said like yeah they were gay but they weren't pussies yeah yeah but yeah it was great man it was an awesome week

it just felt like it was just nice like uh to work with like a cool headliner somebody that you respect too and that is cool on top of it so cool yeah it was great yeah and it's very intimate in that green room too like it's a tiny one at the stages right there so yeah if Yeah, and it's very intimate in that green room, too. Like, it's a tiny one. The stage is right there. So, yeah, if it's a weird hang, it's really weird. But it's good. It's great. And he's been around for a while, so he's telling me stories about old Baltimore dudes like Justin Schlegel.

Oh, really? Yeah. And Nicky Cucella. Oh, man. Schlegel, also, I got to hang with him because he was on the show I did. That dude is great, man. So great. Also, he's uh a monster yes on

stage oh the energy that he had was so funny um but he told us real quick and we can end but yeah people if you don't make you remember mickey cuchella everybody yeah what was it mickey in the morning or something mickey and amelia in the morning spiegel. So Mickey used to be very big in this. Yeah, so he hosted the 98 Rock morning show for years and years and years. And during the peak of radio, probably. Yeah, and kind of a little bit past it, I think. I'd say peak is maybe late 90s, early 2000s. No, but he was...

Was he? Yeah. Oh, so I guess he was around for a long time he was around for a long time even into like the 2010s and stuff he was around yeah yeah that's he stayed that's what happened like he ended up being in morning radio when no one gave a shit and so he got canned yeah um but anyway he told this amazing story about watching mickey do this set in front of a black audience. Where, and he's murdering. And he's doing some joke about, I don't like the names we have for, just call it what it is.

You know, like if a guy gets like, I don't know, roughing the pass or just call that like being a white guy or something. And then he said, and if you get like a penalty for, I don't know, like fighting or kick or like, oh, for over celebrating. Oh, okay. So roughing the passer, typically it's a white quarterback. So like, hey, easy on the white guy. And then celebrating, like, you're enjoying this too much. lean forward like what but like he was murdered and he murdered and he just murdered and then he like said a whole bunch of other awful like offensive shit and then he's like you know what and he was like murdering yeah and then oh by the way he was doing a guest spot and he's murdering this guest spot so the host goes up he's doing this guest spot traps an n-bomb but just is so funny that this room full of black

people don't give a shit the host no no mickey oh okay okay you're saying host then mickey mickey yeah so funny they're like mickey does his thing host comes on he's like you guys like that so funny that a root like he's doing so well that and that they can tell like you know he's a genuine person he's like yeah that they let it slide. And so he said, you guys have been such a cool crowd. You let me get away with saying, you know, saying some, like, shit. That I shouldn't say. Yeah, just, like, you guys handled, like, very offensive material well.

So I'm just going to get down to my underwear and i'm gonna let you hurl whatever insults you want at me so he took off all his clothes except for his underwear and just said go ahead and everyone's like you small dick motherfucker but you piece of shit and he said are you done and then like two more people yelled out stuff and he said good night and he got a standing ovation wow imagine having to be the feature that has to follow that fuck that god dude fuck and those stories you're like that is like the best part of comedy yeah yeah and also because that's also something you can't recreate no it's just the energy in that room and it's also something you can't recreate. No. It's just the energy in that room. And it's also like talk about primal stuff. It creates such a sense of community to where it's like the mutual respect for the person on stage.

And he's like, listen, I get it. I said horrible shit. And now let's have fun and you can make fun of me. Yeah. So cool. Oh, God damn, dude. Yeah. But to be the feature, you're like, so who's dating?

They're like, boo. Guys, I'm going the feature, be like, so who's dating? They're like, boo. Guys, I'm going through a breakup. A little bit of a breakup. Yeah, my girlfriend's being a real. You guys like that? Yeah. Do you want to make fun of me? He's just crying.

Oh, my God, dude. All right, let's go out on that. Yeah. All right. Good pod. Yeah, you're going to be on the road too, right? Oh, yeah. I'm in Columbus, Ohio with Mark Norman and Chris Allen.

I love that. At the Funny Bone. Apparently, it's like the best Funny Bone. It's tiered. You can fit like a shit ton of people. Oh, cool. Like a theater. Yeah.

And we're going to stay in a condo for free. Nice. The three of you? Just me and Chris. Oh, still. Mark, he's going to stay in a fucking hotel. I was like, I don't know if he's slumming it with you guys. No.

With the openers. Yeah. But fuck yeah, dude. That's great. Pumped. Yeah. I think I have some local. I'm doing Taylor Zaruba's show.

But I think that's May 1st. And then April 1st is Speechless at the aforementioned Arlington Draft House. All right. So come into that. Come to that. And yeah, we'll talk to you guys next week. Bye-bye. We'll be you next time.