The Digression Sessions - Ep. 345 - We're Back Again

Episode Date: May 4, 2021

On this week's episode, Josh and Umar are catching up on shows and whatnot.

that's funny uh hey buddy what's happening what is happening do we take another break we took a little break you know we were doing things oh is that the famous REI jacket? The REI raincoat from the last pod. In the flesh. Let's go. It looks a little big. It is a little big. I'm kidding. No, I know.

It looks good. I remember you saying you were worried that it was too big. But that lady, I think her name was Chris. She got me. So here we are. Listen, it's kind of raining outside. Perfect for this weather. I haven't really got to test it out because it hasn't rained since I bought it.

Ain't that life, brother? It's hard. It's hard. It's hard out here. Yeah. So I was just jet setting in Costa Rica. Oh, yeah. I totally forgot you were there.

Went to Costa Rica and then, you know, had some shows at the DC Improv there what's a costa rica and then you know i had some shows of the dc improv it's all just kind of kind of a blur you know doing a lot it was funny being in costa rica though you know how like the feeling you have with a show coming up like it just is in the forefront of your mind all the time yeah i guess it's like man it is beautiful here fuck i have to do seven shows in a week oh. Yeah, and now it's more because that would happen normally like during a non-pandemic world, but even more so now because we don't do comedy. Yes, like I didn't really.

As much. No, I didn't really do any warm-up sets either because I was like, I knew it would be fine, but you do have that stress like regardless. Yeah. An upcoming show. But yeah, the weekend was incredible. Yeah, you were with Steve Byrne.

It was one of the third or second weekend. Third week open. Because DC, for people who don't know, has been more shut down than New York City. Yeah. Yeah. Steve. Isn't that crazy? Steve wanted to go out to get a drink and everything just like

closed at 10 or i think on friday they closed at 11 yeah and he was like this is so weird this is like the most closed down place i've been besides like la yes and he was like if you go to nashville if you go to texas he's like it's like it never happened like people are just out oh dude yeah columbus ohio was a shit show like it was quick we didn't even go out we were like dude the fuck that we just went to our uh condo afterwards yeah i was like we're not i'm not sitting in a i don't know i just don't want to sit in a bar with a bunch of people yeah we went to a spot that that's about luckies across the street a couple times but even that was like pretty dead yeah but if you go i will obviously i've been going out i've been doing shows but i

try to be my a little mindful like i'm not gonna go sit in a packed no bar you know but i mean like but like in dc it's not gonna be like that no not at all there was so the weekend was really good uh thursday yeah let's break it down come on you did seven shows seven shows baby crazy by the way do you have booze do we have booze god i have this beer and i think that's it okay i don't drink beer anyway uh um yeah sorry uh no it's i didn't even think of it until like you were coming out i didn't even realize i had this beer no no no no and this is uh no big deal it's fine. I didn't even think of it until you were coming over. I didn't even realize I had this beer. No, no, no, no. And this is no big deal. It's only 96 calories, 3 grams of carbs.

And it doesn't taste that great. Dude, I had to stop drinking the claws. Because I was just like... Because of the shugs? When you stop... Yeah, there's something in there. Of course. I don't know what it is, White Claw,

but there's something about you I don't like. And it's probably killing us inside. We talked about this because the booze is made from sugar. Yes. Yeah. The alcohol is or the sugar is fermented into alcohol. I'm trying to go vodka soda. Yes. And then every now and then I'll

do some whiskey. Okay. Vodka. So you're just becoming full white girl. You're doing a little Tito's. I'm trying to do this thing where during the week I eat one meal a day really why so i've been doing it just to lose some weight okay just to lose some belly yeah i feel like i got a bit of a covet belly going covet belly not much crazy because you run so much running doesn't do shit apparently dude i ran 10 miles the other day i didn't say i saw that in your story yeah and uh that inspired me to run a mile and a half no big deal uh it sucked it was a i realized it was the first 10 miles anyway but yeah then you run and you're like okay that's a thousand

10 miles was for me like a thousand like let's just say 1200 calories that's a lot it's a lot but then you eat then karen was like hey can you make us burgers i want a burger again for lunch oh yeah there you go that's a thousand calories oh two slices of cheese two patties a bun oh mayo ketchup that's more than 12 yeah there you go so i was just like fuck that's like what i learned that my chipotle order was oh yeah 3 000 calories and they're like my godotle order was like 3,000 calories. And they're like, my God. Yeah. Which is like more than your recommended daily intake.

So like my... I'm like, you know, like I live... People live like paycheck to paycheck. Like that's kind of how I am. But with like my food, calories... He's going carb to carb. Yeah. I live carb to...

I live like, yeah. Like I burn X amount of carbs, but then I just eat it immediately. Yeah. You know? No, I've been very lucky with my metabolism. I don't really eat like shit though too much. That's good. Especially doing the vegan thing.

But doing the vegan thing is very funny because all the vegan cheese is just made from nuts, which is super fatty. High fat. Yeah. Yeah, but there's so much the science, I guess, is still out, but like the carnivore kind of like pale, not paleo keto keto people would say that counting calories is old and bad science is not. It's what you eat and, of course but it's more of what you eat like you could eat you know you could eat like a fuck ton of calories in just meat and cheese and you should be fine in theory in theory but i love that they leave out that that's not great for your heart or your blood no so they talk they say that that's also bad science. Really? So you got to watch this documentary called Fat A Science,

and they kind of go break down how the sugar industry lobbied to make everyone scared of fat. Oh, yeah. The sugar industry was crazy. And that all the research done on like the good cholesterol, bad cholesterol, good fat fat bad fat and like red meat was all done with people but they like with uh they didn't control for exercise smoking yeah all that kind of stuff right so like uh i i i don't know i do i I don't care how much red meat I eat. I eat so much.

I mean, you see, I eat steak. Yeah. I mean, it's unbelievable how much I eat steak. Yeah, I need to go to the doctor to see how all my stuff is, but it's probably fine. I was trying to order my fucking hair pills, and they were like, no, you need to see the doctor. I'm like, for my hair pills?

Come on. Anyway, sorry, we got... Come on now. So DC Improv, seven shows. We digress, huh? Huh? Oh, digress. All right.

That's the name. Yeah. So seven shows had two on Thursday, which never happens. No, because usually it's like one Thursday show at seven o'clock. And that's just to get like... That's like dress rehearsal, if you want. Yeah, exactly. It's kind of to get loose, get a feeling for the weekend in the room and

knock the rust off a little bit um so yes they did two shows one at i think i think it did seven and then 9 30 on a thursday and it and the cap was 50 people so um it's not great and then yeah i just felt for allison the owner of the improv because like it's just it's the dc rules like she has to abide by that yeah and they're cracking down pretty hard we were there the first night so it was i was hosting uh steve was the headliner um he had a dude named bill crawford who was very very funny from pittsburgh um and then he had a guest spot to uh somebody that he knew from pittsburgh he actually knew her dad i think her dad her dad dad come to the show no no her dad was a pittsburgh penguin whoa and like literally like won the stanley cup so steve's like

a huge pittsburgh guy like grew up there and then is also like way into sports and stuff. And I think you met him at some event. Then he's like, oh, my daughter does comedy. He's like, cool, like she should come perform. Yeah, I'm looking up Steve Byrne right now. Oh, why? Because when I saw the pictures, fuck, I can't pull. I think I'm spelling his name wrong.

It's B-Y-R-N-E. B-Y-R-N-E. Bjorn. Steve Bjorn. Yeah, he's just like this. He's half Asian, right? Yes, he is. Yeah, and I think his dad's Irish.

Yeah, I think he plays hockey too. Yes. Yeah, he grew up playing hockey and all that stuff. But you wouldn't, by looking at him, because he dresses on stage, at least, and kind of like, I guess what you used to call Metro. Oh, he wears a suit, yeah. Yeah, but also with a flower shirt under it. Yeah.

It's so funny. He's like, yeah, I play hockey, and I'm friends with a guy who won the Stanley Cup. Listen, you can't wear a flower shirt under it yeah so funny he's like yeah i play hockey and i'm friends with the guy who won the stanley cup and listen you can't wear a flower shirt i mean this guy he's like you know i eat a lot of steak you told a story about how you went back and forth on an rei jacket for hours well i'm just saying looks are deceiving sure sure he's because to me on stage he just looks like uh unassuming like nerdy kind of asiany but i know he's not yeah no he's not nerdy at all god damn he's so funny yeah he's a killer uh absolute killer great crowd work too um so fucking good um oh anyway so so yeah so four

people on four people on the show so we're in the green room. Which is tiny. Allison comes back. They redid it, though. It's very nice. So, the door doesn't face the showroom now. Perfect. So, it kind of makes it feel bigger, but it's the same amount of space. Anyway, Allison comes in.

She's like, I need two of you guys out of here. And, like, not being rude, but the health department showed up. So, even in the green room, technically, you're not allowed to have more than two people in there. Seems weird. Okay. Yeah. Right? So, it so it's just i mean that's just the dc rules so and then like everything was spaced out um but yeah i mean the first uh first couple shows were fun it was just kind of like feeling out the vibe of like yeah how's this gonna go because it normally holds like close to 300 yes and they're like jam-packed in there yeah in a tiny basement yep low ceiling yeah it's yeah usually such a good room but then uh like as the weekend went on it was like once you got a like a feel for what it would be it was so fun and the saturday

four o'clock show that's the one that i thought was going to be the worst that was one of the best oh that one and then the last show on saturday were the best great the four o'clock show that's the one that i thought was going to be the worst that was one of the best oh that one and then the last show on saturday were the best great the four o'clock one was great because you could tell they were like it's kind of perfect they wanted to be there it was sold out then they're like yeah after this we'll go get dinner like they're done by like 6 30 i gotta say if you're gonna add a show always go matinee always go matinee i did we did a an 11 30 p.m start on saturday awful so many people are fucked up because that's the exact opposite yes the 11 30 everyone's like we're gonna go out before we're gonna get trash we're gonna get dinner we're gonna do drinks and then man we got so much time the show's not till 11 30 and they've been drunk for hours dude this

guy was so drunk one at the columbus show that they kicked him out and he thought he was outside. He just started smoking. He starts pissing in the corner. He just starts smoking in the bar. He's like, what? I got kicked out. I'm out. Anyway, so it's great.

Good shows. Yeah, man. They were so fucking fun. Yeah, but I've done that before where I've had the third show start at like midnight. Yeah. And you're like, I showed up for this show yesterday. Yeah.

And like the crowd, the only time I've done that was at the Baltimore Comedy Factory, which is in the Best Western Hotel on the outskirts of Baltimore. And so the only people in the audience were people that are fucked up that show up at the best western and i'm sure they're like do you want to go to this show for free and they're like i don't fucking care yeah yeah this is a cool audience that's great man i worked with uh brad williams that weekend on that third show and he just crushed like destroyed brought this chick on stage who was on a date.

And his whole thing was like, yeah, little people fuck better. Like, you know, when you fuck doggy style, like other guys, they're just on their knees. Me, I'm on my feet and like brings her up and she's into it. And I was like, dude, how did you do that? I hated those people. He's like, oh, I hated him too. But, you know, that's a professional. Yeah, he was great.

I worked with him there too. He's so nice. but yeah steve so but steve is like just such a friendly dude and like nice guy apparently they booked somebody else to host before me and then steve was like i want that josh guy again i was like yeah fuck yeah that's great that's where you want to be you want people to want you on their show yeah yeah it was very cool and like like the thing that we were talking about where you want to be you want people to want you on their show yeah yeah it was very cool and like like the thing that we were talking about where you had with like chad daniel where you hang out backstage and you're talking whatever talking shop talking shit and then you're like oh this bit would work like this yeah yeah so he did this thing that was like really generous that i

don't even think the audience knows how generous it is. Yeah. At the end of his sets, he would do like his full hour, and then he would bring me and Bill, the feature, back on stage to do one more closing bit. Whoa. After him. Each show. So maybe he just started doing it on Friday. Wait, so you guys would do it a bit separately?

Yeah. How would he? He would tee it up, be like, you guys want to have some fun? Like normally after the shows, we kind of just like go over bits and stuff so like let's do a closing bit uh well what did you do so i would just do like stuff that i didn't do because i was mixing up my sets and then the one that i landed on that was really working was the aid story oh nice the uh wait you did the whole i trimmed it so that was the cool thing about doing it like three or four times is like i trimmed it to like a three minute bit.

Oh, that's great. It was just like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And Steve was like, oh, you should say this here and this. And like, nice. And we just always like, that's great. Yeah. And on an applause break. So it's very cool to as a host to be like, oh, I can do more shit.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, yeah. Hosts get no love. He lets you shine. That's good. It was very cool. Yeah.

I think that's cool like i was uh this local comic justo was opening for tony rock and i think tony rock's brother uh something jordan rock yes there's there's yeah there's jordan there's tony and they're all chris rock's cousin there's germaine brothers i don't know i don't know i think they might even be like so loosely related that like yeah chris is like i'm not gonna help you guys yeah apparently uh they're funny i don't know i mean tony rock was at magubi's this weekend i think yeah that's so justo was hosting for them he's the local guy and after after after every show it looked like they would they would all

be on stage and they all do a shot with the audience together uh-huh and i was like i've never been on a show but that's like dude that's like the cool thing about like black comics oh they're like oh i saw because uh yeah our buddy tommy taylor jr he was on those shows yeah he looked like he was crushing yes but then like tony uh like tommy shared tony's post and tony was like i'm gonna have all these guys go up tomorrow it was like eight people i was like oh my god that's crazy but uh yeah they all did like a shot but that's what i mean like oh that's so cool yeah he's like i'm on stage like i you know i eat the whole family but that's why it's so cool working like like steve burn is a guy who wants to like party he wants to do stuff. Because Mark Norman is the same way.

And he's the only comic I've worked with that wants to do that. It's funny because the idea of what comedy is in your head. When you first start comedy, you're just doing dumb open mics and bar shows. And you're like, oh, I can't wait to work at a club. And in your head, you're like, the green room. We're going to go out. We're going to party. And also, you're going to get, I can't wait to work at a club. And in your head, you're like, the green room, we're going to go out, we're going to party. And also, like, you're going to get along with the headliner immediately.

Yeah, exactly. And then it's, like, very awkward. Most headliners, like, don't want to – not that they don't want to talk, but they get bothered a lot by openers, so they're kind of cold. They keep their distance. That's – yeah. And then you guys do your show and then everyone just goes home well also for them it's work it's you're at work and you're

an annoying co-worker like the host can be an annoying co-worker yeah and also with the feature yeah yeah like you also think that like the headliners be like oh what bit is this guy doing what's they're doing they're like i don't give. Oh, that's, yeah. You're so nervous. Like, oh, they're going to think I suck. And no one. Nope. Is paying attention to the show. The headliner would,

even if you bomb for 10 minutes straight, probably doesn't care. And then you kill the last five. Yeah. No one gives a shit. Nope. Nope. No, no, no.

Yeah. Yeah. So Steve is. That's all they see is like the last two minutes while they're waiting in the exactly exactly so you're like i just got to end strong oh the improv does a thing now too though where they um you know they have like tvs everywhere they have one in the green room in the green room so you can see the stage now that's terrifying yeah so don't worry they'll

be watching yeah the whole time and they can hear you so that's what's cool it's just like it's nice like to like work with people who like you get to like by kind of like vicariously or not but you're living it but it's kind of like you get to tag along with somebody who's like yeah semi famous that's fun but it's also just the thing that you envision where right and also you don't you learn to not expect it. You're like, I don't have to be best friends with this guy or whoever it is. And as long as you're like, yeah, they're fine. They're cool. But Steve is so giving and generous too.

Yeah. And like would like kind of banter with me a little bit when he was like bringing me up and stuff. And then hanging out backstage. Super nice. And the funny thing was like he's such a nice guy and enjoys like partying to the extent not not i mean it's not like we're fucking partying right but like in between shows like let's go across the street we'll get a drink we'll get a shot and this and that i'm like yo i gotta be on stage in like nine minutes he's like well let's just do

a shot i'm like oh my god yeah i see that but that's another thing it puts you in a weird situation because yeah you don't you want to do because you have to do the shot because then he's going to think you're lame if you don't. And then if the club is like, you're doing shots between shows, are you out of your mind? So that was a fight like Antoine, the general manager, who I love too. But he messaged me of just like, are you guys going to come back? And I'm like, I'm trying. We're across the street. Yeah. So it's just like's just like hey man that's not my job yeah you know like you should

text him oh yeah but i mean i but i get it he doesn't want to bother him and i'm i'm up first so um the cool thing was the second night on friday when we did that um because allison was there the whole time to the owner yeah so i'm like uh so on friday she's like i want to go get a drink with you guys in between the show so her and chris her husband came over and we all like talked oh okay it was cool okay it was what was it was the same situation because it's like drinks drinks so i i was like i'll just have a beer because it was like shots we'll do shots and i'm like did they do a shot uh no they they got beers. So the first night, so the chick, Lara Hillier, she was the guest spot. It was like her, literally, I think her first time doing stand-up,

but she did like sketch and improv. She was good. Wow. She had like a five-minute set that was getting like mini applause. I mean, like if it was in front of a real audience, it would have gone like really well. Oh, that's great. So Steve was like, we got to get shots.

We'll do shots in between the show to celebrate. does he have like a wife and kid huh does he have kids yeah he has two kids yeah yeah so also like for him like a weekend is yeah go you know like it's like time to like and this is like every a married like parents dream is like your job is only on the weekends and you get to drink while you're making like way more money than most people who work way hard not that he doesn't work hard but you know in the grand scheme of things like he doesn't have a nine to five works two three hours a night yep he makes thousands of dollars like thousands of dollars and he gets a drink while doing it yeah unreal and you're away from your wife and kid yeah and i gotta say like i mean i mean that's living baby i know i'm blowing a lot of smoke but he's very sweet too like his kids would facetime him in between shows and he would talk to them and stuff but yeah so we go uh and

he's like yeah let's get a shot to celebrate like it's her first set and she was like is is this what we like normally do is this how it like works and like yeah this is how it works oh allison no not allison uh lara the girl yeah yeah and so so he was like what what uh and then you guys like yeah you also have to suck all of our dicks for stage time i mean and that's real though that's how it was i mean so it was a great weekend seven shows it's 21 blowjobs if you do the math uh she uh so she was like on the spot she was like uh tequila and i was like god damn it so we had to do a tequila shot so and this is also after this is going into the second show on thursday and i'm like god damn here we go all right yeah that's and then because you're driving back and forth yeah dc so yeah it ended up not being that bad so i just did that and then like kind of coasted um because steve still had his set in

the feature and all that but friday night allison and chris came over into shows like in between so i was like cool we're with the owner this doesn't look bad yeah because like i'm here and then it hit like 9 29 and she's like all right you got to go to work and i'm like okay oh man uh it's always weird when the manager or owner wants to hang uh there's been several times uh so the last time when we were in columbus the man this happens a lot with norman everyone wants to hang out with norman when well you get that party reputation yeah i'm sure it happens to burt kreischer oh yeah everywhere and so we'll be in the green room and then you know the manager or whoever comes and they're like yeah and i think like they heard us talking about like going out after the show and you're like hey i might come with

you guys and then like they walk out norman's like ah yeah and then so we had to sneak out we tried to sneak out of the club so they wouldn't see it's just like we look like we were acting like children and they totally saw us yeah i felt so i was like just let them come for one drink yeah yeah but it is pretty bold to invite yourself. That's a tough move, especially if you're in the industry, too. You know what I mean? Yeah, you don't invite yourself. No.

Like, you know how it works. Yeah. You know? Like, I can see a fan being like, oh, come over. But I think Steve's known Allison for like over a decade now. Oh, because he's been doing the club. Yeah, he's been doing the club forever. And they're happy that it's open

exactly like same thing so yeah and then it was cool just hearing stories from her i mean she's owned the place for 19 years so they're talking about when like dave chappelle came through and holy shit telling all these stories so the feature bill crawford he was there the night of the um the mark twain award so so chappelle went to the dc improv like before after whatever and ended up like doing a set yeah fucking around and he was saying he was like yeah it was so crazy because like i was about to go on stage and somebody's like holy shit dave chappelle's here and it's the thing that we talk that we're talking about we're like you think the headliner is gonna watch and he's like man it's like chappelle gonna watch me and he's like he didn't yeah but i was all nervous he was like

then i come in the green room and he must have smoked a pack of cigarettes by himself and inside oh yeah they don't he doesn't care yeah it's the the improvs aren't gonna be like hey dave could you um that's how you that's so cool about him or anyone when you get to a point where you know your worth. Him and Snoop Dogg have that. Snoop Dogg's like, I'm going to smoke weed in every single place I'm at. Yeah, because it's like, you guys are making so much money because I'm here. I'm going to smoke inside.

Yeah, and there's a film crew here. It's great. You're going to be on Netflix. So much publicity, so much money. Yeah. It's great um so uh but he was saying like just watching dave and like where you're like you know you see some comics and then you're like oh man i want to do that or like they have a new bit and you're like that's incredible or like inspires you

he's like but literally just being around him you're like that's just something else oh yeah he was like chappelle was was chapelle was in the green room and like smoking a cigarette and uh he was like do you guys um you guys ever have a bit that's like so good like you just love this bit but like the vibe in the room has to be right or else you won't do it and he's like no i do all of my good bits what are you talking and the bit that cha What are you talking about? And the bit that Chappelle was talking about was the Cosby bit that he closed on one of his specials. Like that huge long story.

The one where he's like talking about racism and how fucked up it is in America. And it's like decades and decades. Oh, you got to give and take or something. And then he goes, and the entire time Bill Cosby was raping women during all that. you imagine you're just sitting on that bit and he's like no the vibe's not right yeah god damn um but he's also chapelle's at that point in his career where and he's earned it but the laughs are spreading further and further apart yes you know because your goal as a comedian is to go like laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh and then i guess like he can just do it so

it's just so easy for him that it's more fun to find like crazy ways to get laughs and also be more prophetic is that a word prophetic prophetic propheticetic. Prophetic. Prophetic, yeah. Prophetic on stage. Yeah. Like, prophesizing. Yeah. I mean, like, because when you listen to Chappelle, it's, you're almost listening to, you just want to hear what he has to say. That's weird. More than, like, make me laugh. That's what we were saying, too.

He's just such an engaging guy. Yeah. And you could tell that he actually, I mean. He knows it, dude. He knows it. He feels it. And, like, that's actually i mean he knows it dude he knows it he feels it and like that he leans into it and it's engaging to watch and it does pay off to talk talk about racism for decades and be like and the whole time bill cosby was raping bitches you're like jesus christ that's great uh so yeah so i mean just the like yeah hanging out with them

and then hearing stories oh this was the thing I wanted to tell you because we always talk about like, you know, like the faux woke thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to hear this. So, you know, and so we were talking about or Allison was talking about like opening the club and, you know, like just how you like because they were like, I don't know if we're going to make it through and all this stuff. Like they were closed for like a year. would have closed that would have been horrible dc dc will be fine as like overall as a comedy the comedy scene will be fine i think i don't know if it's gonna be anything like it was because before the pandemic i I mean, it was nuts, dude. Oh, yeah. It was like industry started noticing DC and you could do like five, six spots a night if you really wanted to. If you hustled, yeah.

And they were all good. Dude, there was a night I did four paid spots. That's great. Crazy. Yeah. I did two at Big Hunt and then two at the DC Improv. So I would just go back like early show, get off stage, early show, then late show, get off stage, late show.

It was so fun. That was always fun too. Yeah. Or if like you ended the improv, go to the open mic at Big Hunt after. But I think like Big Hunt might be gone and we don't know. We're still waiting. Yeah. I mean, everything's barely open.

And the good, I mean, what sucks too is that the good comedy rooms had people packed in tight you know and we're in a basement yeah that's the thing i ran into uh jimmy he was a bartender at jinden jokes and he uh he was he said they still he still gets phone calls asking if the comedy shows back is that crazy to him yeah yeah and that i might not do it there anymore but hey we'll see we'll see we don't know hey look for an email yeah um yeah it was uh man it was uh yeah just such a like fun weekend so friday um steve was um the audience like the late show they were like a little rowdy there was one chick that was just awful like yelling out that type of thing he handled it well but like

um so he was like going back and forth with her a little bit and then if you ever like fucks with the table he's like all right i'm gonna get shots for you guys and like it's one for himself jesus man this guy fucking drinks uh he he rules he's so fun um but then at the end of the uh oh the the end of the show he's like doing a lot of crowd work so he's like you know what can i buy shots for the entire audience 72 shots my guy damn so so antoine the manager just gets on the god mike and he goes fuck you steve and then he did it they got shots for everybody it was crazy that's great he made him a ton of money yeah and then he was like he was like uh yeah after the show come to this bar across the street oh no i want to tell that other story sorry uh we were talking about like uh peace whoa cancel culture that type of thing and um so uh yeah the the thing about this improv is like independently owned so it's not a part of like the chain like there are

improvs but this one is independent so they control who they book and everything else um and allison's like yeah i try to do a good job with like diversity and everything else and i think she does but i got an email from a woman that was like you don't book i'm looking at your calendar and i don't see any female headliners and you need to do better and she's she's like and that's not fair because the way a comedy club calendar works it's not going to show you who you've booked in the entire year it's going to be like here's who we have in the next two months you know what i mean so you can't go back you can't go six months forward it's like

that's just a snapshot of what we have and then they're like and we're independent so we have an email server and like if you get a ticket we have your email so we're like all right let's see who she's supported in the past year do you know who she saw the only comic she saw in the past chris dalia that was great that was before everything came out about dalia but still like the most bro centric fucking guy yeah and she's like you don't support women he's like women are crazy it's like i don't know you fuck 13 year olds't support when he's like women are crazy and I don't know you fuck 13 year olds. Maybe they're that's why they are crazy. They're crazy.

They talk funny. I'm like well, you know, they don't know curse. Yeah, they're multiplication tables. These women. Yeah, what are you go out of these chicks and they can't do the tip man. Come on. It's a person over double a let's go bitch multiply by two. Let go come on come on

um that's funny isn't that also what people don't understand is um somebody did that to me after a show one time this bitch came to one show yeah there's no women on the lineup and she was like so can i ask you a question do you ever book female comedians and i'm like no yeah no i don't know i hate them it's also just like i don't know like i get the like i get the concern but it's just like you went to one show lady come to several and then if you see a pattern maybe we can have a conversation but like we can't have a conversation of one data point it makes no sense yeah and if you think a woman should be on every show or there should be multiple women on every show then yeah you're just not living in reality like there was a dc comic who started

making these pins only woman on the show because that does happen yeah usually what happens is like you book a show and you're like okay there's not many women in comedy and especially on a low like even in general not a ton of but a local level yeah even smaller pool and then just like guys in comedy most guys who do comedy suck at it most women who do comedy suck at it so now you're taking a small pool and making it smaller so and if you're booking a show once a month you have to be strategic you can't just book all three out of seven funny women in the area every show one show and then you're fucked because your audience is the same yeah so you have to spread it out so it's like yeah one woman a show it's unfortunate you're also trying to put together a lineup that's semi-cohesive sure and that's just like what happens and it's

but no one wants to have that part of the conversation no one believes that part and then a lot of people will say well like i think these people are funny and i'm like okay well then you start a show and book them you book your show yeah i don't i don't think they're funny and i'm a i'm a laugh and also coming out of this pandemic now when i book shows for a while guess what it's gonna just be people i want to be around yeah so it might just be dudes a lot yeah and that's and i came to a point i'm like also most audiences yeah don't give a. A very small percentage of the audience might care. And it's like, all right, if I lose them, I lose them. The biggest thing about a comedy show, this is shocking for audiences,

they want to laugh. There you go. Isn't that scary? That's weird. Yeah, crazy. Yeah. So another thing people don't understand is a lot of times headliners, black headliners don't want black openers. A lot of women headliners don't want women openers.

So like it gets very complicated. Yeah. It's not like an easy like you don't book enough this because like, you know, there's a local comedy club that got a bunch of shit for not booking women enough. And it's like, well, we don't, you don't, you don't know what the parameters they're dealing with are. Yeah. Yeah.

And sometimes, yeah, it's the club is just booking like who's funny or who's at the top of your mind type of thing. Yeah. Like people would say that about Andrew Magubi is like, he doesn't book me. I'm like,

I know for a fact he just only books people that are like in his orbit. And he doesn't know who you are. Yeah. Or even if he met you like once or twice, it's like, yeah, he's going to book more people in Baltimore because guess what? He sees them more. Yeah. And I think he, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, who cares? But yeah. I mean, he books people. It's funny. But I'm saying like people think that it's like some weird like ulterior motive where he's like, no, I don't like this. It's like this person lives here. I see them all the time and they're funny. Great, right?

Yeah. Oh, we but yeah, dude, it was very nice to like be back on stage, even at the improv, like at, you know, a quarter of the capacity was still so fun. Nice man. Staff was also cool. Yeah, everybody was a fucking good hang antoine was like very sweet which like i love antoine and like he's we always like chat but it's one of those things too where like it's a manager at a club so it's still kind of like your boss so it's like we're friendly and stuff but i'm still like oh i want to do a good job want to do a good job yeah and uh at the end of the weekend when he was giving my check i was like

thanks man i really appreciate it and uh like turned around and then like he tapped me on the shoulder he's like hey i just want you to know you did everything right this weekend you were great oh that's great damn that's huge like coming from him that really was like yeah a lot it was very better than like you know those people that are always like you're amazing this is incredible like you know he's never been like he's always been nice but like that was no that's nice yeah so that was like went out on that i was like yeah that felt good so so yeah it was three shows because then you're there all fucking day too and then like we had a couple drinks after and then i was like steve can i sleep

in your hotel room because i didn't feel like making the trek back he was like yeah sure i got an extra queen bed uh and then we hung out for a while and i stopped drinking and we went to wawa they had a wawa across from their hotel where's their hotel uh a couple blocks away i think it was the ac hotel weird um but wawa has like infiltrated dc it's interesting isn't it we don't have wawa's in baltimore city i know this this one's just i thought it was like a rural county i did too i know there's one in georgetown but yeah i've never seen them like without the gas station that's crazy so he was like yeah come to wawa with us then we got food and then i was like you know what actually i'm feeling pretty good i can

make the uh trek back and they're like well come eat food in the lobby with us like cool so nice just such he dude just such a nice guy he was like yeah if you ever want to do zanies on like monday and tuesday come down you can stay with us oh that's great oh he lives in nashville yeah he moved to nashville yeah super cool yeah so it was just man it was such a fucking fun weekend. Hell yeah, dude. Good for you. And then yesterday I was dying of pollen. I was all right most of the day. And then I went to my dad's and he had his windows open. We sat outside for a bit and then we went inside. Windows open? This humidity? Come on. I know. It wasn't that bad, but I mean,

maybe even like hear my voice today, but that pollen just fucked me up. I got into it with not into it, but like it was getting humid and we don't have HVAC. Like we have window unit. Yeah. And it was just like so fucking humid. And I put a window unit in maybe three weeks ago and she was like this soon. And I was like, Karen, it's fucking hot as shit. Like also we believe in climate change it's

gonna be sooner every fucking year yeah and and she's like i know we'll just open a window i was like no i don't want to sit and sweat just because you have like some weird thing in your head of like well we can't turn the ac on i'm like we're not poor yeah we can afford it yeah i got i didn't get a master's degree and buy a home to fucking sweat to be uncomfortable my own goddamn house yet yeah uh it's a little early i'm like is it okay it it's it's hot enough to turn the ac on whenever you feel turn it on whenever you feel uncomfortable i would turn it on uh dude you feel uncomfortable. I would turn it on. Dude, you know, like sometimes you get that random like 65, 70 degree day in winter. Yeah.

I'll put my air conditioning on in the car. Fuck that. I'm not sweating in my car. What are you going to be uncomfortable? I don't think so. That's insane. I don't think so. Also, I remember when I was in high school, I had this friend. We got in the car and it was like hot.

And I was like, it's pretty hot in here. She was like oh you can open a window and i was like you got ac because i had long hair back then i didn't want to fuck up my hair the wind you know come on like that and she's like oh yeah i don't um i don't use my ac it eats up your gas i'm like what i was like we live at home we're all our money is disposable income turn on the gas bitch like this is crazy that we're sweating in august we're not driving across the country yeah we're driving 15 minutes to a movie theater just throw that on crazy yeah i'm that same way i bet you she's still like that but i bet you she has a ton of money but a ton no listen man that's poor thinking you know what i mean you're gonna have a poor life you gotta

get passive income you know what i'm saying you gotta go you gotta have a rich mindset dog um yeah crazy you gotta turn the ac on for the job you want not the one you have you know what i'm saying damn dude i know um now who's prophetic you know shit where are we shit shit you gotta pee no oh we are at 41 all right let's go i got a couple of so a couple of stories yeah yeah because you were doing some shows too i did two weekends what did i yeah i did stavros helkius yeah how was uh the the stav shows uh well we're deep enough where i can i guess be the shows are shows are great. But the behind the scenes... The behind the scenes was tough. So, Stavros, for people who don't know, up-and-comer.

He did it. No, I feel like he's... Up-and-come-towner? He does a podcast, Come Town. It's funny. It's famous. They make a lot more money. They make...

We don't make any money doing this. They make like $70,000 a month. Yeah. Just from Patreon. This costs us $15 a they make like seventy thousand dollars a month yeah just from this cost us fifteen dollars a month we pay fifteen a month oh which i need that venmo oh there you go and uh so but now he can move this he can move tickets because he's like semi-famous in the comedy world yeah like legit yeah yeah it's great which is crazy because we started together like yeah i'm used to i started a room then i let him take it over then we started running a room together and it's just so funny because it was so clear like stab was clearly the funnier one but i was better at organizing stuff and putting together a show yeah that kind of stuff and um so it worked and then he went away and then whatever but so you know pre-covid he would just come and he would

just do his own weekend at joe square and he would just make so much goddamn money yeah it was crazy i love it and um so he hit me up on a thursday two weeks ago he's like hey man this might be uh he's like i know it's kind of last minute but you think we get a show together in baltimore lol but for sunday and i was just like i'll try i love it because that's just his life he's like what if i'm just like kind of don't give a fuck for most of my life lol i hope it works out and it does but also the thing is is people at his level it's like it's just so if stavros is like hey do you want to do a show in baltimore it's guaranteed sellout yeah it. So for me, it's just easy money. Right.

Well, I thought. Oh. But no, it was still very good money. Well. And it's like you don't have to worry about ticket sales. That is a complete. Yes. One of the biggest worries you have, you know you're not going to worry about that.

But the problem is finding a venue during COVID that's big enough where you can sell a certain amount of tickets, space everyone so everyone feels safe, and you make money. Yeah, right. What's the limit in Baltimore now, like indoors? For live, for events, I don't even know. I want to say it's... 50? 50.

Yeah. No, it can't be 50, right? be 50 i don't yeah i don't know because yeah there are the lines of like a restaurant can do this yeah theater can do this i don't know but yeah i think it's 50 i want to say i do love that you just did a show and you're like who could know so to be fair the owners just told us you can do x amount of people gotcha and they went way under what they were allowed to. Really? Because they're just being extra safe.

Yeah. Yeah. So I called my buddy Nick. He owns True Chesapeake Local Oyster, and he has all these connections. Yeah. And he wants to do all these comedy shows with me. So I was like, yeah, can we get something going? I was thinking about what about this room?

Or he's like, well, maybe we could do it at Union. So blah, blah blah blah and then in tour and then he was like well we can do it at the whitehall mill but it's like in a wedding event space so it's not like a bar usually like a show you know you just you just hey we're gonna bring a bunch of business to you yeah you let us keep all the money at the door and you keep the booze and you keep all the booze money yeah um the bath so that this is like you go to a venue and they're like oh yeah we charge five hundred dollars an hour it's just like in covid bitch they haven't even had an event oh hi see i hate that though because now they're like well we haven't had an event so we have to gouge you it's like that's not cool but because nick is a buddy he rents i mean he has like a huge stake in their business because he has like a huge really nice restaurant that yeah that is

on their property so we got a deal i won't say what the deal is but it was a very good deal 4.99 an hour and so they were like you can do one show 50 people what yeah and we're and then stav was just like ah it's so little dick of them so stav puts up the and he's just like he's like really i gotta pay and i was like yeah got to pay if you want to do this. I was like, this is, I was like, look, man, if you want to show by Sunday, this is the best you have. Unless you want to like figure something out. He's like, fuck it.

Right. So we do it. He puts up the tickets. I mean, like in four minutes, he sold 15 tickets. Crazy, you know? And so then we're like, I think like 10 minutes, he sold 35. And so we're like, he's like, dude, we have, he's like, can we do a show? He's like, hey man, do you could we could do a show saturday at union and i was like

uh it's karen's birthday but i could see if like you guys want to figure something out it's gonna rain they can only do it outside and he's like oh okay okay okay so then we get them to add a second show sells out immediately so now we have two shows. We sold 140. Oh, 100 tickets. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And 100 tickets for ye.

Yes. The audience. And yeah. And then, but it was just like all this crazy shit of like, I felt like I was being Stavros' manager or agent because. He's like, I want this. Make it happen. And not to like, yeah, I don i want this make it happen and not to like yeah i don't want anyone to i'm not vilifying any i just this is just how it's business this is how it

works i'm not vilifying stav or anyone yeah but so stav was upset because we couldn't do a matinee show it's sunday night we did a seven o'clock show because we didn't think we could do a late show because then we would have did it earlier and then added a late show at like eight gotcha gotcha six and eight yeah so we had we had we the first show was at seven and then we wanted to do a matinee show like you can't because the event space is attached to this market called the whitehall mill market and they use it during the day for if anyone wants to like sit and eat there yeah and we're and we're just i was like fuck and nick said also like we wouldn't be able to help you set up because we're doing brunch until three and i was just like all right fuck it so we did the nine o'clock show yeah then apparently stav is friends with people who own a brewery in pig town but they also own a stall in whitehall mill they rent out where they

sell their beer it's called suspended brewery okay and they hit him up they're like hey can we sell booze at your show and then i was like yeah it's my show it's my show he's like i rented it out to space but we only got the space for the space because my friend Nick is friends with them. We got it at a crazy discount. Right. And so then I was like, yeah, man, I don't know. Nick's selling. The whole reason he's doing this is because he wants to sell booze, you know, because he wants to make money.

And then Nick's like, yeah, well, fuck that guy. Oh, Stav said that. Stav said it. I was like like yeah well fuck that guy i don't i don't need that guy and it's like well yeah you do it's his event space and he's like yeah but i'm and i was like well he's the reason we have it and he's like yeah but i paid i'm the one putting the deposit on it right but and you're paying him yeah yeah so then i'm like he's like yeah i want my friends to sell booze he's like see if he'll let them sell booze and i'm like okay and it sucks because now you're the middleman and you know that that's a shitty thing to ask it's a shitty thing to ask but from stav's perspective he has no idea what's going on like he thinks yes this guy nick he's like why does nick get to come in yes i'm putting down money i'm bringing all the people why does he just get to make money while i have to spend money and yeah in his mind like staves like they're all here for me nick is just kind of like getting his beak wet on this

yeah but like nick is valued at let's say around a thousand dollars right now because that's what he's saving us yes he's saving us yes he's saving us yes or you not me i'm not putting down that money right saving he saved you a thousand dollars granted you could not do the show here yes um but it's just so easy but that's the thing yeah that's what he's missing is that he has it's like yeah i paid for the space but it's like at a discounted rate because of this guy and the reason he gave you the discount is so he could sell booze and to be fair like comics get so fucked or artists get so fucked that's why they always yeah take as much of the door as possible yeah so you don't want anything to eat into your money and if you're in a position where stave is

he can ask that and he does and he gets it every time yeah or like a guarantee or whatever it is so um yeah it sucked because then i kind of felt like stav didn't trust me that i was bringing in someone who's trying to fuck him over because stav was like well fuck this guy the only reason he was like so we couldn't do a matinee show because he couldn't sell booze there fuck that guy i could have just had my friend i was like well the market i was like and you can verify this with your friends who work there or have a play that place is public space until five o'clock yeah it's anyway so he but you know he's just like well still it doesn't make sense that i'm the only one paying and they just get to make money and i'm like all

right so now i'm like fuck now i gotta go to my buddy nick and ask him like he just did us a huge solid right and now i have to go to him and say like either your friend either his friends get to have booze there or you have to pay the deposit. And I was just like, God damn, this sucks. Wow. But also, I didn't want... Yeah, but also I want to keep Stav happy, but I didn't want... Yeah. It was such a shitty situation.

Yeah. So I'm calling calling i called our buddy ramin i called my buddy dan because they're really good at like business and negotiating well yeah and also ramin's been putting on shows for 10 years now like independently and and so i was just like fuck what do i do and dan is crazy like dan is very cool yeah but he's also like he's so business that's like he's like he flips homes he deals with all these contractors and yeah he's just a bottom line guy bottom line guy but he's also you know every business everyone wants to make as much

money as possible yeah so he's so used to competing interests and And he's like, all right, man, this is what you do. Look, you're having a party tonight. Invite Stav over. We'll have a few drinks. I'm like, dude, no, this has to get solved. What the fuck? I was like, this has to get solved right now. Like, I can't.

And Stav doesn't want to come over and hang out. You know, like, he's here to see his family. Also, that's a dumb business move. Yeah. Because Stav's like, just get it done. Why are you fucking around drinking? And so I'm just like, he's like just get it done why are you fucking around right drinking so i'm just like he's like all right well he's like he's like look don't don't make any phone calls he's

like just sit on it for an hour and see if something he's like something always happens he's like don't do anything for at least an hour and i was like all right and then something did happen so because like i didn't want to go to nick you know and break the news to him so also what another added extra layer of this too is like this isn't like a one and done with you and nick either because also you would like to do your wedding there and like you might do shows there in the future right done stuff so it's it's like it would suck to be in that position anyway to be like hey here's a shitty offer and i know it's like semi insulting but furthermore

it affects your business going forward too yes exactly and that's what like dan and ramin were saying where you know it's like well you need to make this show happen yes but yeah you also have to keep in mind that like also you want to keep stavros happy because one he's my friend yeah and we started together and then two like if he comes to town i do want to be the guy that he goes that he goes to yeah that's another thing yeah so both relationships you're like in the future i'd like both these things to exist yeah and then it's just so different than when you're like a kid yeah and doing producing you don't think about any of this shit no you know like this is just all like stupid business

yeah bullshit like capitalism and that's finest yeah like we're all greedy yeah we're all uh this is like a the shittiest episode of game of thrones you know where we're all like trying to come out on top lord stavros wants the ale of his friends to be served at the event yeah yeah trust me there were horrors everywhere at these shows hell it's out pretty crazy uh and yeah so then something did happen i waited yeah i'm in a group text with nick and the woman who manages the property. And she said, oh, hey, Nick, apparently the suspended brewery people are like BFFs with Stavros. They want to know if they can vend, sell beer there. Yeah. And Nick just responded.

And so now it's great because I don't have to break the news to him. You ain't the messenger. Yes. Yeah. And now I'm like, okay, I got something. Yeah. And then he responds. He's like, why would I set up an event just to let someone else make money that makes no sense and he's a hundred percent right which

yeah it's like you knew he was gonna say that no surprise yeah so then i called dan again and i was like i what do i i'm like and he's like tell me and i was like, what do I? I'm like, and he's like telling me. And I was like, you know what, dude? I just got to be honest with Stav. Like, I just got to tell him, like, we can't do this to Nick. Yeah. I get it. And we can't. And he's like, I don't know, man. He's like, you still want.

He's like, here's the thing. But you want the show to happen. I was like, yes. He's like, so you got to finesse it a little bit and i'm like okay and so i called stop and i was like look man i'm gonna read you these texts word for word and i read him the text and i was like this we won't have the space if nick's not involved we don't have this space yeah like if he's out we're paying well over a thousand dollars for this space yeah your leverage is your friends if you want your friends to vend your show so bad they own a brewery in pigtown

yeah just tell them i'll move my show to big town to pigtown and that's your leverage and that's huge leverage yeah And that's huge leverage. Yeah. And then now Nick has leverage. So you both are kind of, I'm trying to get them to see that like, you're both bringing something to the table. Right.

You both have options. Right, right. Pretty smart. I like it. So then Stavros was like, all right, let me call my buddy at the, and I knew he wouldn't do it. It's so much work to move a show.

So much work to set up a show yeah in a spot where a show is not ready and tickets are already sold tickets are sold you have to email everyone you have refunds yeah we have a parking there's no parking lot in pig town also pig town stinks pig town sucks everyone thought it was gonna be the next one in like 10 everyone thought it was gonna be the next hamden yeah i think just i think i know that brewery too it's it's funny because like on that street you're like yeah it's umbc owned oh nice yeah wait umbc owns it sorry umbc alum oh alum gotcha gotcha um but yeah that street where you're like eesh pickdown's kind of rough oh it looks like a nice brewery and i yeah and

i think it is and and also again i'm not vilifying anybody in this story. Of course. Well, like you're saying, it's everybody has a vested interest in making money for themselves. And I think not everyone knows everyone, and for Stav, it's too many middlemen. Yes, and the thing is, too... And it is cutting into his profit. And you also just assume that the other party is trying to fuck you over. Yes, which is smart.

Yeah. It's just inherent with business that, yeah, it's like, why wouldn't they try to get the best deal? So then Stav calls me back and he's like, all right, tell them I'm cool with him vending and not my friends if he pays for half of the deposit, which still sucks. But it's from his perspective is fair. and uh so i did nick went with it and and i gotta say man nick fucking like fucking came through he set up the stage the curtains the lights and it looked so good yeah yeah i saw the pics it looked so good i mean it looked great i was like oh this is a real room room it's not like tacky and we there's all these huge plants so i put plants near the stage yeah um and he lit it he has like um he had two spotlights that he duct taped to

these poles and then he had two floodlights that made the curtain, white curtain look red. Oh, very cool. It was great. And then he helped me set up the chairs and I got Karen to be a server again and that was- She loved it. It was like a nightmare because they had this whole point of service system that failed

so they had to walk. They had to do this huge walk get orders put in orders they had to walk to put in the orders then they had to walk the drinks back it was just and then they were understaffed for the first show god i don't know i don't know anything about uh service yeah i didn't know that like it would have been better for them if the seats were arranged yeah like in like sections and rows yeah exactly but it's too hard with covid and you're just trying to space everyone out yeah so this way with like server it's like you have the a section the b section the c the d oh my god karen was just like and by the way this is yeah because of all

this shit i just dealt with um this is the most relaxed all this shit i just dealt with i'm this is the most relaxed i've been at a show that i'm producing i mean the mark norman show i did over the summer was so much of a headache yeah because it's outside this it's 40 minutes before the doors are open the stage is in here and like the chairs aren't set up the booze isn't set up uh it's fucking insane. Anyway, so I'm so relaxed. I'm just chilling, hanging out. People are coming in.

The fact that it's happening, you're like, great. Oh, also like the microphone, they have built-in PA. You just plug your mic into the wall. Where are the speakers? In the ceiling? In the ceiling. Not the best, not the worst. How ceiling not the best i was saying how that sounds so i will have to buy a pa but not the best well let me know if you ever need mine oh okay yeah

we'll test it out but yeah not the best not the worst yeah it was fine not great but like that was easy and yeah so i'm just like living on easy street and karen walks by she's like um i'm fucking pissed this isn't easy yeah and just like karen never got paid for the first time she did it yeah i remember even the first time she was like really hustling oh like she had to work pretty hard on this one was 10 times worse that sucks but the second show they figured it out and like the shows the first show was whatever i had to be very tight yeah we had to get the second show but the shows were great it was just the two of you right just to because yeah it was just it was yeah too many but i mean that's perfect anyway yeah yeah so i did 10 minutes on the first show stop stop just fucking killed yeah second show i got to breathe i did like 20

minutes and nice i killed it was like the first show was like, eh. Second show was great. Yeah. It was smooth, man. Yeah. It's one of the best things about having two shows a night because it's like even if it goes like well, you're like, ah, I want this B plus to be a fucking A. You know what I mean? Or if it doesn't go as great, it's so nice to have another crack at it.

Yeah. And it's funny too because so that Friday Iiday i was at work when i was on like doing all that negotiating yeah that took three hours of my day yeah and at least you were at work i was at work and while i was at work at friday like i was like karen yeah like we had a meeting with the true chesapeake people who also Nick that's Nick's restaurant that was also doing the drinks for the show that's where we're gonna get married yeah that's what I'm saying so we had a meeting there at 12 and I had to miss the meeting to plan my wedding to plan this comedy show Jesus Christ yeah see that's what I'm saying

like if you make this weird with Nick, like, not only do you want to do, like, shows with him in the future, you're getting married at his fucking venue, too. Like, yeah, you don't want that to be weird. So funny. But just, like, so funny. I'm like, sorry, babe, I can't plan our wedding.

I'm planning a comedy show for a guy from Comptown. I'm planning a silly boy comedy show that's oddly very stressful but hey hey babe i'm actually making money on this event hey babe not like the wedding where we're losing losing money or your parents paying for the wedding with this yeah um yeah how did the meeting go very well i wasn't there but so our for uh karen's i guess i can say are but karen's best friend growing up annie, used to do events for McCormick. She was their event planner when they would have corporate events and

blah, blah, blah, and they were hosting people. And she did the books for her husband's... He has a business, an electrician. He's a master electrician. He has a business where they go wire huge buildings

hell yeah houses and hell yeah so she came in with a laptop a spreadsheet she broke down all the numbers and she was like karen was like it was so uncomfortable because she so she because she also has a mom and she has very like mom energy so she sat down she's like guys all right first things first i'm masked all right i'm vaccinated i've fully vaxxed uh for i have a capri sun for everybody yeah yeah yeah and i am gonna take my mask off and if you're comfortable you can also so then like like karen did and a couple other people but the chef left his mask anyway just like so i would never do that i would never sit inside with strangers and be like i'm gonna

take my mask off if you want to you can too yeah that was the first few minutes of my set oh really no i'm kidding i did that at the show at the stop rose show because a bunch of people were still where i was like you guys can take them off well dc has a rule that if you're not actively eating or drinking you have to have your mask same thing here but no one cares yeah there they do. So Allison was like, please just make sure you say that. I was like, yeah, of course. So apparently it was like a good thing I wasn't there because she's a very good negotiator.

Oh, nice. And I think she saved us a ton of money. Why? Because you would have been like, okay, that's fine. Yeah, Karen and I didn't. So they've never hosted a wedding. I thought, oh, okay. And they don't really have they've never hosted a wedding. I thought. Oh, okay. And they don't really have like a plan for a wedding.

Yeah. So we're like, we both, it's the same thing again. We both want something and we're both gonna use each other to get it. Right. Like we want a really nice wedding at a really nice place for not that much money. And they want a wedding at their place to see if they can do it. Or they can do it, but they want to be able to

tell people and show people like, hey, we can do weddings here. This is going to be like the model. This is their model, their pilot. So I think it's all going to all work out. Nice. Well, yeah, it's great to have somebody like her because she knows fucking events. Yeah, we didn't know anything. They told us $12,000 in the beginning, which that was the minimum we have to spend

so the more people you bring it's gonna goes up goes so it went up a lot i mean bro uh like way more than i thought yeah how many people are you thinking 150 damn yeah which even with that there's a lot of people i'm not inviting that yeah are gonna be very upset yeah man once you get family in there too like it fills up pretty quick it's it's gonna be tough but yeah so i think it'll be good we'll see we're trying to get married in october so damn yeah i mean good on you because that shit it's a lot of moving parts that i dude yeah most people wait i feel like even waiting like two years is like kind of stand like even that's kind of quick. So you guys the turnaround time is fucking crazy.

Yeah, we got lucky. Karen just texted me. She just got a flower person. Oh, cool. So we have we have a venue which me which the venues all in one food bar. We got flower person. We got we got a dj booked we got uh yeah we're gonna our friends her friend's husband plays in like a he plays the mandolin in like a bluegrass band they're gonna play in the beginning of the wedding oh that's fun as people

are coming in and during the ceremony love it and then mandolin's cool uh yeah so there's gonna be a tent set up outside there's gonna be so we're gonna be there's gonna be it's gonna be like a multi route it's like we get the whole restaurant plus outside yeah to harker brothers ice cream truck's gonna come that's gonna be the dessert oh it's gonna be sick yeah that's photo booths let's go very nice yeah very nice we're gonna have three different food sections it's gonna be nice you're gonna do some stand up i bet no you're ready for everybody to be like you're gonna get up there yeah i know you're gonna do it um yeah dude that's that's good it's exciting and then yeah then the big like

conichella is still in august right? We got the Conicella in August. The Pakistani wedding is going to be brutal. My God. Well, yeah, let's leave it there. We got more shit to talk about, I'm sure. But we're over an hour here. So, yeah, that's insane. I'm glad the show fucking happened.

Yeah, me too. It was a nightmare. And again, then the added layer too is always that even just putting it together is a pain in the ass. And then you're like, and now I go up first. So that's the thing. So then you cut this deal and you're like, okay, this is a lot of money to produce a show. But then you're like, but I'm also hosting, featuring both shows. Yeah.

That should be $200 on its own. 100%. Yeah. And that ain't easy either. That still work anyway what are you gonna do i love i love that it happened though you made it happen we did it promoter to the stars uh right yeah i will be uh this wednesday i will be in woodstock maryland oh what's that that's where they uh that's where they had that big concert in the 60s, that three-day thing.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's Woodstock, Maryland. Fred Durst ruined it. Yeah, it's the main stage grill. So, you know. And I'll be closing that out. That's one of Taylor Zaruba's shows. I like that dude a lot.

So that is on the 5th at 7 p.m. And then Thursday, I'll be doing an online show with Dana Flightman that's called Pun and Games. So follow me on Instagram for those links and stuff at Josh Coderna. Nice. This week, if this pod goes up, I am at McGuby's featuring for Mark Norman. May 6th through 8th, five shows. Then next week, I'm with Norman again in

Salisbury, Maryland. Killing it. On May 12th and then May 13th through the 15th, I'll be at the DC Improv doing six shows with Carmen Lynch. Nice, man. I love it. You're on a nice little run here.

May 28th, me and you are doing a show in Hamden. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. At? At Poppy's. Poppy's. Poppy's. Is that the 28th or 29th? I think it's the 28th, May 28th.

We're doing Poppy's Pappy's. Is it Pappy's or Poppy's? I say Poppy. I think it's Poppy. Karen says Poppy. She's a little white trash happy yeah you get her pappy's tacos oh my god uh so today they're and whatever yeah so pappy's on 28th what were you gonna say uh we have these morning meet like on morning announcements but they're like on zoom

now yeah they do like these mindfulness lessons and uh the way this woman said namaste uh namaste namas namasta namasta or oh man ah god i tried to record her saying it because i was like yeah dude she's trying to say namaste so funny namaste namasta that's what she was calling namasta like they say namasta namasta and i'm like this is so funny namasta so is how you taste it namasta yeah namasta anyway well everybody uh like we usually say to close out the podcast namasta In the flash, let's go. so it was funny being in Costa Rica though. You know how like the feeling you have with a show coming up, like it just is in the forefront