The Digression Sessions - Ep 4. Lemon Moran Pie - w/ Alex Braslavsky and Michael Bowen

Episode Date: September 23, 2011

It's a long one! But, it's worth it! Comedian Alex Braslavsky and the owner of the Ottobar, Michael Bowen, join our courageous co-hosts Mike Moran and Josh Kuderna to discuss Incubus, Civil Rights Renactments, lake trout, Arsenio Hall, cuttin the cheese, hand claps, podcast drama, and of course, the gem in America's crown, Topeka, Kansas. Look for our podcast on facebook damnit.

Oh shit, oh, it's another intro, oh, where my dighead's at, getting introductory in here, oh, we're gonna introduce, and introduce the introduction. Give me that clap. Oh, yeah. How my dickheads feeling out there? I'm feeling a whole lot better now that I got the clap. Oh, shit. Boom. All right, what's up, all y'all out there in podcast land? You can't see this, but Josh and I are getting real jiggy in this studio here.

Oh, shit. I'm surprised the mics aren't picking this up. Our jiggy actions. We get so jiggy that non-visual media picks up our physical movements. They feel it. They feel our jigulations. All right, so like the last episode, well, let me just say this is Josh Caterno, one of the hosts of Digression Sessions. And this is Mike Moran checking in from Remington.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-bam! But you guys already knew that. Talking to the digheads out there, the people that have been there since episode one. All right, so we got episode, what is this, Mike? Three, four? I believe you just told me it was four. All right. Now you're playing dumb for the sake of conversation.

Oh, boy, is my face really red? It really is. Anyway, Mike, you got me on that one. So here we are, episode four. We have Mike Bowen, the owner of the Auto Bar, as a guest, as well as local comedian Alex Brofslavsky. Insert applause. we have Mike Bowen, the owner of the Auto Bar, as a guest, as well as local comedian Alex Brofslavsky. Insert applause.

Okay, that really sounds like applause. We could have an audience of demons or something like that, that are like big Alex fans. Chuckle storm. Audience of demons or something like that. So they're like big Alex fans. Choco storm. Audience of demons. That's what I'm going to name my metal band. Oh yeah. Look out for those tracks.

All right. So in this episode, we get some good conversation. Famous last words. We talk about everything from the great city of topeka to incubus to civil rights to ipads to lake trout cutting the cheese arsini arsino hall faces of death god slash ray lewis and we get involved in some podcast drama oh yeah there was there was a little we get caught in the crossfire some podcast drama it was like on a talk show when they start fighting yep yep yep so this one could be one for the ages because this will go down the saga of baltimore podcasts versus dc podcasts of baltimore comedians versus dc and we might actually release the entire saga

on blu-ray soon. Yeah, fingers crossed. With several key events digitally remastered. Right, right. There was just some things, like when we recorded this, we recorded this on 9-11, by the way. There was just certain technological advances that hadn't been made. Right. The 10th anniversary of 9-11, by the way. We're going to genetically insert some horses. It's going to be a while.

I think we might replace Mike Bowen with a dragon voice. I think that would be good. So, Mike, what was it like opening up at the auto bar? At the auto bar? It was amazing. You're supposed to do it with the dragon voice there. Oh, I see. I forgot that we're both named Mike.

One more time. Mike Bowen, what was it like opening up the auto bar? That's just a snippet of what you can find on the Blu-ray. Keep your ears and eyes peeled for that one, digheads. What do you mean peeled? Like as though you're peeling your eyelids off of your eyes like a grape? Because you have to keep – do you peel grapes? Well, yeah.

I mean, you don't normally, but people do. Potatoes? I've never seen anyone peel a grape or heard of anyone peel a grape. No, people peel grapes. They get the skin off of there sometimes. But anyway, shouldn't it just be like, lift your eyelids up, not peel your eyes? Well, you're trying to

add some drama to it. You don't have to mutilate your face in order to see. That's what I'm requesting. They need to mutilate their faces so they can look out for our fictional Blu-rays that don't exist. Mutilate your faces for night fashion sessions. Mutilate your faces, digheads. All the true digheads do it. Oh, shit.

All right. Yeah. And then we want to apologize for Alex makes some racy comments about World War II. We want to apologize, however we cannot. We can't. We really want to, but we think the onus is on Alex. Right. So maybe we'll have him back pending the controversy.

And the trial. Also, the song that he recorded and submitted, I don't support it, but he paid us a lot of money to have it on the end of the podcast. This does not necessarily represent the views nor reflect the views of Josh Katerna or Mike Moran or all the producers and staff here at Degression Sessions. Yeah, give it up. Those guys work around the clock for your enjoyment. Hey, we got kicked off of iTunes briefly, didn't we? Yeah, I'm not sure what happened with that, but we're back on.

We're getting a lot of downloads, so I want to thank everybody that has downloaded and told their friends about it. Again, we want to thank everyone, but we're not going to. We really want to. God, I want to thank you so bad. It makes you look weak though right exactly so in

this relationship we have to be dominant right um yeah so that's what's going on with that uh like this podcast was a little dated so just bear with it it's still a good good convo i think we're going to try to have episodes come out um every week I think, on Fridays is the plan. Maybe one drop every Friday. Sounds good. Yeah, so if everybody could like the Facebook page, they were going to put up pictures of the guests and shit like that. And more importantly, if everyone well liked the Facebook page. Well liked it? If they well liked it, not just could like it.

Because everybody could like it. Right, right. But we're asking you to like it. Yes. Definitely mutilate your faces and like this fucking page. The Dick I. Gresham's sessions. Dig cess. The dig cess.

So, even though Alex Brofslowski is a racist, we implore everyone. Did you say racist or rapist? I think I put them together there. Sorry, I was a little bit of a Freudian slip. I have not seen him rape personally, but I've heard tale. I've seen him rape spiritually, which is weird. Oh, my God, yeah. He came over the other night, and I just felt drained.

Me too. But he is the host of a show, a local comedy show at the Auto Bar called Chuckle Storm. Chuckle Storm, one of the best alternative comedy things going on in this area, and one of the best comedy shows period, in the area, in my opinion. Yep. But that's just one man's opinion. Oh, you're moving it on somebody's segment. Other Mike, what are you doing here?

Moving it on somebody's segment there. So yeah, go check that out. Chuckle Storm, a lot of great comedians will be there October 4th at the Auto Bar. Tommy Zimbazo, I believe, is headlining. Oh. Possibly a future guest of the Digression Sessions. Also, our own Mike Moran will be there.

Yeah, I think he'll be doing something. Okay. Possibly that up-and-comer Dan the Man Gufterson, I believe, might be there. Maybe. Maybe. Okay. That guy's hard to pin down. I don't know exactly what Alex wants to do, but we may premiere my good friend Dan the Man Gufterson,

who you may know from Dan the Man in the Morning on W5062B. Probably saw him on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Yeah, I think he opened a few of those shows. Yeah, unfortunately he didn't. Unfortunately, he didn't make it on the DVDs. He's kind of the East Coast's answer to Dave Coulier. Take that, Dave Coulier. Take that.

Dan the Man nipping at your pretty clean heels, Dave. All right, so just like the last intro, this intro has gone on way too long. Mike, do you have anything else to say? Thank you to everyone for coming out to the Our House for my birthday celebration. It was phenomenal. We had such a good time, so much love, and I just couldn't believe the celebration. It was phenomenal. We had such a good time. So much love and I just couldn't believe the turnout. It was so much fun. Thank you guys.

All the bands rocked. Yeah, that was excellent. That was a good time. It should be an annual event celebrating your birth. Michael Colligan's birth. We also talk about that in here as if it's about to happen, but it did happen and it was fucking great. And if you missed it, well, hey, you should have paid more attention to my Facebook invite.

Yeah, you should have been friends with Mike Moran already, you fucking jerks. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks, everybody. Thanks to the Dig Heads. Enjoy this episode. All right. Enjoy.

Well, hopefully we'll have another episode next Friday, every Friday. We'll keep you posted on Facebook. Tell us what you think. If you could compare our episode four to Star Wars' episode four, A New Hope, which you prefer. We would love to hear your responses on Facebook. That'd be great. All right. Thanks, dickheads.

We love you. Let's start the show The show The show The show Classic Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on Oh shit Mike

Oh snap It's another motherfucking Digression session About to get buck wild in here About to get nasty Gonna mess up now Alright Fucking digression session. About to get buck wild in here. About to get nasty. Got messed up now. All right.

So what's going on, Mike? Oh, not a whole lot. Have the big Micapalooza coming up on the 17th. Oh, shit. Where's that going to be? The Hour House Studios right above Joe Squared. In celebration of your birth? Of my birth and Mike Culligan's birth, who will be performing with the bands Polaroid Rage and the unnamed cover band.

Oh, sounds good. Is it going to cost money to get in? No, it's free. It's my birthday. Oh. You can't charge people money for your birthday party. No, no. Your birth was free.

Why not celebrate it for free? Yeah, yeah. No, I think my parents paid for medical care. Yeah. I think it was a little more affordable back then. Really? Yeah. No, I think my parents paid for medical care. Yeah. I think it was a little more affordable back then. Really? Well, yeah, I think so.

I'm pretty sure they weren't on welfare at that point. I thought some illegals delivered you, so. It's possible. I can't remember to be quite honest with you.

Tell the truth. That's what I heard. I just, my memory's completely wiped that time period of my life. Now that you've been outed, I think we should bring in our guests anyway.

We have guests? Holy crap, we have guests. Oh, there they are. I forgot when I was born. I forgot that we had guests out here. Never forget. That's embarrassing. One brains all the time, huh?

I tell you. So who do we have in this dank basement joining us? These gorgeous gentlemen. Mike Bowen, say hi. Hello. Good evening. Mike Bowen in the house.

I said say hi. Hi. And we have Alex Barbloski. Yeah, that's a fair attempt at it. Hello. What's your name? Berslovski. Alex Berslovski.

Like a bra. Bra. Bras love to ski. Bras love to ski. Like Bratard. I don't know it's like eastern european mike in warming up for this has coined the term bro tard bro tard as we've decided as a negative yeah don't be a fucking bro tard in warming the mics are hot isn't dude you're really being a bro tard in warming up as if he's like doing like tongue twisters like bro-tard bro-tard bro-tard she sells bro-tards bro-tard for the seashore

tell us a little bit about yourselves please mike first since you're i'm checking my pulse to make sure i'm still alive it's right here it's a nervous habit are you nervous people have it so much fun in the basement i think think. A lot of people hear this. There's a lot of influence. Don't say anything that you wouldn't want your mom to hear you say. This place could go up at any second. That's true. Doesn't it kind of feel like we're broadcasting?

Seriously, this basement. The amount of threats I've been getting in this basement. I mean, I get them all the time, but especially this past year. I feel like we should talk conspiracy theories. Yeah, sure. Bush knocked down the towers. Grand Prix and 9-11 are connected. Hammer.

Grand Prix and 9-11. The anniversary of 9-11 since it's happened so soon after the Grand Prix. Who is that comedian that has the thing with the conspiracy theories where the only thing you can do is amp up the stakes? Be like, what? You believed in the Twin Towers? they weren't really there Cosby was it copy Australian guys material Virginia that lives in California now he's good here's a hoodie oh the hoodie comedian from Virginia. Yeah. Virginia. Dave Chappelle. No, he's not that famous. Oh.

Anywho. Good use of anywho, by the way. Thanks. That was a perfect one. I haven't done that one in a while. I dropped that in. All right, Mike. So you brought these guys in the basement.

What's good? Well, let's have them tell us about themselves. Please. Mike, do you want to go first? My name is Michael Bowen. Hi, Mike. Hello, Mike. I feel awkward. What did you just say? It's all good. I thought you said

awkward. That was amazing. That would have been good execution. What is it with you and execution? Hey, somebody's going to get it. Is it a death documentary? I wish. They have a documentary about faces of death? You know, actually,

the actual documentary of faces of death, but I read on the internet there is a documentary about faces of death, which exposes the fact that most of it is fake. I've heard that, too,

that most of it is fake. I find that hard to believe because all of that footage made me very upset. Yeah, that's about as depressing a video as anyone can ever watch, ever. I mean, that was so taboo back then. Now you can see that pretty much.

I think I had nightmares after I watched that in high school, and that was well after stuff gave me nightmares, you know? Yeah, seeing that little girl get hit by that train. Ooh, I never saw that, nor do I want to. What is this, and how do I find it? Faces of Death? Yeah. In the 80s, before the internet, there were...

It's a snuff film. I mean, with real life... Well, a snuff film is an intentional legend. Nobody comes, though. Okay, you're right. I mean, I did, but nobody in the films come. Do they? Does snuff have to have porn?

No, I think I misused the term snuff film. Snuff is just... I think snuff is intentional killing on camera. Oh, okay, so there's no porn element to it. Faces of Death was a... But there's some... Guns? Firing Squad?

Yeah, I remember a Firing Squad footage. So some of it would be classified as snuff then. Yeah, but that's... And when people take their own lives, isn't that intentionally killing yourself? Well, the thing with snuff is it's considered... There's the urban legends in the 80s that people were going around with video cameras Raping and murdering people and then selling the videos on the black market. That's actually true and that I was around then I was that was that what snuff you know you're being recorded right?

Yeah, it's fine. Okay. I will not find me in this basement from all the Urban legends guy they've never found any evidence of an actual snuff film existing. Yeah, that's true. I have heard that. But Faces of Death, God, this is taking a really dark tone really quickly. I think that's what happens when you come in just a dark basement. I thought snuff was that. You could have let me saying Execution Go.

That is a fun comedy podcast. You had all the People dying on camera. Snuff. Before the days of the internet, there was a video series that you could find in the seediest of video stores among the horror titles. Hey, Mike. Can you turn that mic? All right.

Yeah, sure. That were full of supposedly real-life footage of actual deaths. Really? Horribly depressing and just terrifying. Oh, they use the footage of Bud, the councilman from Massachusetts. Yeah, that's one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen. That is definitely one of the most disturbing moments. Didn't Norm Macdonald do a parody of that to begin his sitcom or something? I saw that. I was like, do a parody of that, like, to begin his sitcom or something?

I saw that. I was like, what? Was it a Norm show or was it another show? Because that doesn't seem like it would be on the show. Yeah, because Norm show was on, like, CBS or something like that. One of those. Yeah, it was really, really bizarre. I can't believe they did that.

Bud was his name, right? Yeah. Bud Freeman? Freeman? No. Who is that? Bud Friedman. Friedman is the comedy club guy, right?

Bud Friedman. I don't know. That sounds about right. I don't know. That sounds about right. Los Angeles Improv. Yeah, something like that. Some old douche. Live televised suicide. Here at the Digression Center.

Boom. Oh. So anything else depressing you guys want to talk about? No? Just never being content with where you are in life? Right. With where Josh is in life or with where you are in life With where Josh is in life Yeah I'm fine

I just can tell Josh isn't No, no, no, I'm good I mean I just met him, but I mean, I kind of feel, you know, you guys are all on one side of the table So kind of ganging up on me Well, that's what we're here to talk about I think we should tell them, guys

Yeah, you should be on our side We're doing a recreation of The Last Supper Yep Oh Who do you want me to be? Clearly your guy at the table about it. I think we should tell them, guys. You should be on our side. We're doing a recreation of The Last Supper. Who do you want me to be? Clearly your guy at the table. Wow. That is fucked up. Judas in my own home. It's a good album title. Judas in my

own home. It's like a creed title. How about Judas, a sexual Judas? Judas in my own home. That sounds like a documentary. How about Judas, a sexual Judas? Judas in my own home. That is good. That is good coffee. Mike, I should probably tell you, to be honest, now, that's decaf.

What? Really? Yeah. Oh, great. Now I have to drink 17 cups of it. Sorry. And it's organic fair trade you could have just oh even worse no one suffered making it no there's no blood what's wrong with these weren't forced

out of cats i know these i mean this these that cup that cup was forced out of cats i did you know the coffee that they get out of cat poop yeah what is what is that? It's not really a cat. It's like a cat. Another snuff film thing. You guys don't know about this either? Please inform us, Mike. The most expensive coffee in the world. Here's some more depressing news. I don't know the name of it, but

they make it out of... It comes out of feces of these cat-like things in South America. I heard it, but it was homeless people. I mean, it was a similar context. He said cat-like things. Cats. You mean they make coffee out of the turds of homeless people?

That's what I heard. Do you have to be homeless to qualify for your turds to be made into coffee? Yeah, how do they know people aren't lying about it just to get the benefits? Because they write no fixed address on the application. And if you don't have a fixed address... No, absolutely not. There's a space, but if you write something, you're disqualified?

Well, you can write no fixed address. Okay. Now you're just confusing the matters. So according to Wikipedia, it's called Kopi Luwak. Kopi Luwak. Kopi Luwak. It is made from the beans of coffee berries, which have been eaten by the Asian palm civet and other related civets. Civet.

Then passed through its digestive tract. Nissan civet. Are you doing something on cars and names? That is fucked up. You had like a hamburger car idea, right? Hamburger car? Yeah, I was telling him once about how... You know how they have the Toyota

Rav? I think of ravioli. I was like, Toyota Rav, ravioli. Then I was thinking, what if Ford made the Ford cheeseburger? And then from there you could come up with all different permutations. That would just be adorable. Car. Food. Maybe a chicken nugget. Chicken nug if it's like van yeah but you got the pontiac chick or the it should be country themed like so like ford cheeseburger is perfect because like it's

american made car drive a ford cheeseburger like the honda america honda sushi roll like honda eel roll okay that's better the honda eel roll apple pie truck That's better. Honda eel roll? That would be part of the 13. Apple pie truck? Or the Honda fruit roll-up. Yeah. The Chevy apple pie truck. The what? The Chevy apple pie truck? We're going with American. That makes more sense, though.

I mean, that actually sounds right. Yeah. So there'll never be a quesadilla sedan. But, again, we're looking for a brand name and then Quesadilla. So the... Toyota Quesadilla. The Toyota Quesadilla. With more enthusiasm, that would have worked.

The Toyota Quesadilla. And then mispronounce it like in a play. Quesadilla would have worked. We would have accepted Quesadilla. Quesadilla. Or Teco. It's racist, but... Why is it racist have accepted quesadilla. It would be like quesadilla. Or taco. It's racist. Taco.

Why is it racist? Toyota. Quesadilla. The R thing? Yeah. I think you're thinking of Asian people, first of all. Toyota? Are we?

Hispanic people don't say. Yeah, they don't roll their. Toyota? Or no, they roll their R's. Yeah, they add a little brr to it. Toyota? Toyota. Toyota's Japanese.

The Japanese car company? Everything's a question. Just handing people things. Toyota? That's why they have double question marks on stuff. Sorry, that's all I have there. Sorry. Should we take a break? Let's take a break. All right. Sorry.

Should we take a break? Let's take a break. All right. But I just started rolling. Well, we're going to take a break. Damn it. And we're back. All right.

We are back. We're back. Alex, do you want to tell us a little bit about yourself? Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Alex. Will you tell us a little bit about yourself? Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Alex. Tell us a little bit about yourself. All right. I'm Alex.

Hi, Alex. I'm 24 years young, I like to think. Ladies, let me ask you this. Are you single? I'm not, but I am ready to mingle with my girlfriend. That's what the audience is saying right now. You want to give her a shout out? You want to say hi to that lovely lady?

That would be very uncomfortable. Please don't put me in that position. Oh, geez. audience is talking about right now. You want to give her a shout out? You want to say hi to that lovely lady? That would be very uncomfortable. Please don't put me in that position. Oh, geez. Trouble in paradise over there. Whoa. The Toyota Quesadilla. So, you know, I run a little tiny comedy show in Baltimore. Right.

Uh-huh. What's it called? It's called Chuckle Storm. Are you sure nobody else has used the term Chuckle Storm for anything? That's not written? Did you steal it from the Toyota Chuckle Storm? Is that what it's named after? I might have.

If we find out it's a Hispanic company, then yes. As long as it's not bookended with question marks, I'm sure you'll be fine. Chuckle Storm? Well, actually, I mean, we were just trying to think. At first, it started out as a fake comedy show, like a parody comedy show. We were like, what's the hackiest show name we could think of?

ChuckleStorm. I think it's brilliant, actually. Really? What does that say about me, then? Hacky. I think it is brilliant, actually. I think it's a great, great name. Yeah, then? Hacky. I think it's brilliant, but it's... I think it is brilliant, actually. I think it's a great, great name. But it is...

Yeah, it's definitely, like... I see it as a parody type of thing. Yeah. I see, like, some sarcasm in it. Sorry. I think it... Your sarcasm? Mm-hmm.

Never read it that way. Never get caught in a sharkasm. You won't get out. You never read it that way? It's like a... Like a jokey name for a show? Oh, it's jokey jokey name for a show. Oh, it's jokey.

Yeah, I didn't get the heck out of it. I mean, if you just look at the lists of all the comedy clubs in the country. Where's that list at, by the way? I think the Library of Congress is probably the only place that has it. Mr. President, I need the list of comedy clubs. My fellow Americans. The Chuckle Hut. The Joke Hut in Topeka, Kansas. Rain Supreme.

Topeka, Kansas. That's a good go-to funny town name. Yeah. Poor Topekans. Yeah, what else can I say? I live in Charles Village. What about Chuckle Barn? Chuckle Barn? Chuckle Barn?

It would be a barn filled with chuckling animals. That would be really funny. You're welcome. Maybe it is. Why don't you make it? You could start your own comedy club and call it the Chuckle Barn. What about Chuckle Fist? You're beating people while you tell comedy.

Chuckle. How about the Fisting Barn? See, what I did was I took two of your ideas and i compromised them into right the fisting bar compromising you lost the original grain of magic that you get for compromising never compromise you're right esteem barn be at the mall or would that be something somewhere hidden away because it would be so disgusting. It's in the back of Pottery Barn. They'll name plus-sized stores like Dress Barn. Yeah, because you would have to be able to associate all of your ideas with a barn if you want to fit into it. Who the hell wants to shop at the Dress Barn?

Or like Plus Plus something. You gluttonous pig, I think, is one. What do you guys think about plus-sized people, plus-sized women that are proud, like really proud of how big they are? I'm fine with it, I guess. But once it gets egregious to the fact where they're almost naked and lots of skin is showing, then it becomes offensive, I think. For you, aesthetically speaking?

Yeah. I mean, I don't know if there's that much to be proud about. I mean, if you have a thyroid problem, I can dig it. But if you're just eating Toyota cheeseburgers all day, how would you be able to tell the difference? They'd probably wear a shirt. Yeah, I could see it. I have a thyroid problem. Their t-shirt would say, I have a thyroid problem, and I'm proud of it.

I am Simpson standing there. I am woman here. Thyroid. I have a thyroid problem and proud of it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I think, you know, people should be confident and happy in themselves. Sure. No matter what's going on.

Even if it kills them. I don't know. Morbid obesity is a fantastic way to die. Yeah, I mean, people shouldn't be. Shut-ins. People should be confident and happy in themselves. Sure. No matter what's going on. Even if it kills them. Morbid obesity is a fantastic way to shut in. We shouldn't be promoting. I don't think there's little kids being like, Wow, look how happy and confident that person is. I want to be that fucking fat. I'll be morbidly obese one day.

And it's so true. With trends. Yeah, I believe statistically speaking, we're one of the fattest countries around yeah if aren't we the fattest I don't know I know USA yeah and so are our waistlines Patriotism? I need to get that noise up. Do you guys watch what you eat? There's your answer. That was perfect. I watched it while I was eating it. That's true. I watched it as it went in.

I watched it. I make sure no one tried to drug it on the way from the container to my mouth. I do watch what I eat, but I splurged today. I had lake trout for the very first time. That's fucking disgusting. It's not wild, but it sounds disgusting.

Where'd you get it from? I'll give a little plug to King's Fried Chicken on Green Mountain 33rd. I hope they hit us up for a sponsorship. They will. Because you're looking really good. I was going to say, there's a glow about you. I was like, did that guy eat lake trout from King's Fried Chicken? It is everything you'd expect

it to be. Bones and all. It's just batter, right? Deep fried batter with a scent of fish attached to it somewhere. A scent of fish? I just squirted it. I have like fish scent. It's like a fish stick. We're on a fish scent. Boom. You realize they can't

see you on the podcast doing those hand gestures, Michael. Yeah, I'm still animated. It just comes with the territory. Yeah, if you could stop giving us the finger so much, too, that would really help us with our confidence. Whatever. Okay, okay, come on. I just jerked off the air. Of Ford.

Up. See? I jerked off the air of Ford. The air of Ford. Of President Ford Ford president Ford Joe Ford yeah the air the Ford Ford so why Lake Trout why today I'm Kings 9-11 9-11 Ravens well that makes perfect Ray Lewis told you to eat it? Ray Lewis, big sponsor. You know, living in Charles Village and driving in that area. So it's just advertising every day.

Lake Trout's a popular thing in Baltimore. Every block is fried chicken Lake Trout. I do have some people that love, love Lake Trout. They're all about it. Lake Trout is not an actual fish, is it? Is it? Well, it's a trout. It're all about it. Really? Lake trout is not an actual fish, is it? Is it? Well, it's a trout. It's just a trout?

Okay. I don't know. There I say lake. It's like a generic term for a bunch of different fish. I don't know. I was convinced it wasn't trout. I was convinced when I first heard of it, I thought it was chicken, and they just called it like chicken of the sea. Right.

I thought lake trout was chicken. Just whatever deep fried mess they had left. Even though chickens don't really go into lakes. No, not once around here. Not on purpose. Suicidal chickens exist in the wild. Do they exist in the wild?

Sure, they have. Everything exists in the wild. Yeah, they had to have. Mules. You ever seen a pack of mules? I haven't because I don't go exists in the wild. Yeah, they had to. Not everything does. They had to have at some point. You ever seen a pack of mules? I haven't because I don't go out for a while. Serengeti. Yeah. Taking down a zebra.

Oh, yeah. God, poor mules. Yeah. Mules are the Topeka animals. Yeah. Serengeti sounded like a car name. Oh, yeah. I thought that too.

I think so. I'm not really sure. The Chevrolet Serengeti. Serengeti sounded like a car name. Oh, yeah. I think so. So I'm not really sure. The Chevrolet Serengeti. Serengeti. Low financing. Act now. These cars must go, go, go on a safari. All right, let's take a break. All right, yeah, let's take a break. And we're back.

We are back. All right, so we talked to Alex for a second. Alex are back. All right. So we talked to Alex for a second. Alex, thanks for being honest and sharing your feelings about Lake Trout. It's my pleasure. Thanks. Want to move on to our second guest, Mike? Sure.

I was introduced already. So speak to me as the third guest. Yeah, but we didn't learn anything. We don't know anything about you. We don't know anything about you, except you jerked off the air. My name is Michael Bowen. It's a pleasure to be here. Thank you. Thanks for lying.

You're welcome. Appreciate it. I have been a little depressed as of late. The weather has been difficult. Like Seattle? Similar to. And I had to stop doing something that I love dearly. Right. It's difficult. Like Seattle? Similar to. And I had to stop doing something that I love dearly. And I did it for six years.

I was a Civil War reenactor. North or south? Does it really matter? Well, we don't know who won. I don't know if you notice the Confederateederate flag behind me but yeah it does wait you're lying yes I had to stop doing that thanks

it sucked because I developed a problem emotionally that was related to the reenactments I didn't even know it existed I think it's r-p-t-s-d it the reenactments. I didn't even know it existed. I think it's RPTSD. It's reenactment post-traumatic stress disorder. Wow.

It's going around. I didn't think that that could happen. Especially to you. Yeah, I'm a reenactment actor, so how could I possibly be affected by reenactments? Reenactor. One minute you're sitting next to your best friend talking about the Ravens

Of course And I actually look over And he's lying In a pool of fake blood Wow I don't know how You shake that image It's tough to deal with

And that was at The Ravens game today right No that was at A reenactment Six months ago So It's made it Nearly impossible

For me to Continue in the Reenacting business Well So that's all I really have right now. Alright. Well, hopefully you can get your musket in your hands again and recapture the magic.

I was the fullback. For the Confederates. I was the Confederate fullback. Did you get to fire the cannon? Metaphorically speaking, yes. Yeah, metaphorically. Well, you know, we're here for you I appreciate that

if you ever wake up screaming in the middle of the night and want to download a podcast feel free to download ours I shall and how would I go about doing that anyways well good setup you go to the iTunes you search digression sessions you click on ours picture that says digression sessions. You click on ours.

Picture. It says digression sessions. And you click subscribe. Bam. Okay. It's that easy. That table is about to crumble if you do that again. Seriously, please.

Let's take a break. And we're back. And we're back. Let's talk more about Alex. Okay. Okay. You guys, ask me anything you want, and I will honestly answer the question to my fullest ability. Oh, shit.

What's your favorite pie? Are you hard right now? Both questions, quickly. Okay. With the same answer. When I'm hard, I love cherry pie. When I'm soft let me ring so it's almost always let me ring really okay yeah do you have a problem no i think it's i

think it's great okay i think it's great what's going on down there okay i think once every other month is all you need really yeah, but it lasts for hours No, no, no, it lasts an average amount and that's all you need I get so much done. Let me Wikipedia this too. Yeah average wait. No, here's the thing. I've already Wikipedia I have so much free time with with the softy oh i was about to say i didn't know if you got like super if you could shut down your sex drive would you for a while well mike is mike is an elder so it's probably i just started dating a new girl by the way so all right i'm very happy about that Podcast lap But Very happy about that butt Is that what you said?

Now I'm trying to step away from it I'm happy about that butt Who's happy about that butt? That's the lady Who's happy about that butt? Who's happy about that butt? Who's happy about that butt? Happy about that butt

Happy about that butt Happy about So I can't say I just chipped my tooth I can't say who it is I'm sorry Is it a A well-known Baltimore lady? I just chipped my tooth. I can't say who it is. I'm sorry.

Is it a well-known Baltimore lady? Trisha Butt. Stephanie Rawlings Blake. Stephanie Rawlings Blake Butt. I was going there, and you went there before I did. Thank you. Thank you. We got together at the Grand Prix.

What? In turn five. I fucked her in turn five of the Grand Prix. Really? Yeah. This was her brainchild, and we were celebrating the 150,000 people that showed up. Wow. 150,000? That can't be right.

According to the commercial that they just cut, endorsing her as the next mayor, yes. You know Will Power won that race? Yep. His name is Will Power. Wow, that's awesome. I'm pretty sure I didn't care before and I care even less now I think I thought you were going to say you care more now

No, yeah, you're right Well, you're a big Willpower fan, right? Not the biggest Big Willpower No Average size Willpower What were we talking about? Boners? You said you were trying to figure out the average time

Let's circle back to boners The average boner time? Oh, man. Hang time. You asked me about pies, and I'm a huge pie fan. Really? And so, like... More so than cake? Yeah. Okay. Not the mathematical... With the frosting. What about

the frosting? Who cares? What about the frosting? Who cares? I mean, it feels like I'm not eating anything. Let's try to keep it friendly. Didn't you have that carrot cake upstairs? I mean, it feels like I'm not eating anything. Let's try to keep it friendly. Didn't you have that carrot cake upstairs? I did. I know it's not pie, per se, but was the Frosty not the best part of that?

I hesitated to eat that cake because I was like, well, who cares? But it was nicely presented. It was decorated nicely with the carrots on top. Those weren't real carrots. What? Yeah, those carrots are made out of icing. Yep. Icing? That's right. More, those carrots were made out of icing. Yep. Icing.

That's right. More things than you might think start with icing. You know, without icing, we wouldn't be able to have cupcakes. Really? Yep. That's true. Icing actually invented peanut butter. Icing did?

And the electric... George Washington icing? Yep. The lighting in your house, it all comes from icing. George Washington icing. The greatest black and wax. What? Black and wax.

Should I not go there? Great blacks and wax. I'm talking about the blacks. I tried lake trout. I can say that. Here's a callback on the plus size women. That's a lake trout talk, guys. Most plus size women have 0.20% icing in their blood.

Callback. Wow. Constantly. It's always. You were just constantly calling. I was trying to fix this and it's like boom. You scared Josh. How much is in?

That much? So there. Yeah. No, please. No, no. I want you to. I just wanted to wrap it up with I think pie is better than cake. Wow.

Well, because you like the insides. I like the inside, yeah. Crust is good, too, man. Why can't we just put frosting on pie? Is this a metaphor for women that you like? Break it down, and then I'll... I refuse to. He likes it sweet on the outside, not frosty.

I mean, sweet on the inside. Not frosty. So you don't really care what a woman looks like as long as she's a good person. No, I'm very shallow. That's not what I'm getting from your pie. Yeah, you're going to need to match up your women preference with your dietary habits. The sweetness, but the color on the inside. Yeah, you don't love your girlfriend.

Oh, no, I don't see color on the outside. I only see color on the inside. Yeah, you don't love your girlfriend. Oh no, I don't see color. I don't see color on the outside. I only see color on the inside, so stereotypes. I see that. I only see, I don't see the actual color, I just see what... Then you're denying their cultural experience by not seeing their color. What race they fit into. Personality-wise, what race they fit into.

I think Mike's right. You're denying their cultural experience by not seeing their father. From like an anthropological perspective. As well as denying the Holocaust now. You figured it out. You're lucky the Mike's right. So there was no Holocaust too, huh?

Well, well, well. I never said the Holocaust didn't happen. Yeah. We're going to edit that so you say, I said the Holocaust didn't happen. My name is Alex. That's always been. The Holocaust did not happen. Hey, have we thought about that? We should do that.

We should end interviews. That's a good way to get guests back on the show and be like, listen to this episode where we just destroy somebody. I would be so happy if you took the time to make it sound like I said the Holocaust didn't happen. It really would not take long at all. It would take like five minutes.

You know, if it wasn't for the Holocaust, if it wasn't for the Holocaust, if it wasn't for the Holocaust, I wouldn't be sitting with you guys today. Medical research. Oh, we got a guest. Sitting here in Berkeley. Coming down. We woke up Josh's mom.

This is my lady. Hey, girl. How's it going? You're looking nice. It's bedtime. You look nice. Sorry, guys. It's bedtime.

School night. Party pooper. School night. We got a party pooper Mike Amanda, Mike Civil war reenactor Former That ship is sailing

Party pal Mike, chill out Mike, please I bought that about an hour ago, and now it's ruined. I'm going to get you a new one. If I opened it right now, it would go off. Don't do it. Like a 9-11 style explosion.

Put the knife down, Mike. Wait until she breaks down. I got something special. I hope it's the dog. That's the light of my life. Is it a dead bro-tard? A dog. I'd love to see a dead bro-tard.

A dog. A dead bro-tard is a guy at a Grateful Dead concert. A dead bro-tard see a dead bro-tard. A dog. A dead bro-tard is a guy at a Grateful Dead concert. A dead bro-tard is a good bro-tard. A what? A guy at a... It's a bumper sticker right there. What's your favorite bumper sticker? Dip me in honey and throw me to the lesbians.

Never heard that one. Holy crap. Bigger. Holy shit. Yeah. Jesus. You did not see that coming, did you? I would like to thank you for bringing that down here.

Then why don't you? But I was pretending to be upset. That was acting. So now you're calling Mike a bad actor. Now I've got to pick up the fourth wall that just got broken down. I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to fool you with my acting.

Look how much bigger that Diet Coke is. I didn't mean to fool you either. I was doing a fashionable person I know. You might be the most fashionable person I know. You might be the most fashionable person I know. Now we can hear you. Seriously, I'm watching it when it's recording, though. When you talk, it's just like...

That goes back to his problem when it's recording, though. When you talk, it's just like yeet. Wait, that goes back to his problem, right? Right, right. It's not a problem. I keep telling you. It looks like lemon meringue pie every time you speak on here. Lemon meringue pie. I like to like that. Yellow stereotypes. Yellow meringue pies are lazy. That's all I'm trying to say, culturally.

But they could be any color. Can we name this episode Lemon Moran Pie? Lemon Moran Pie? Yeah. I think so. Do you guys now pronounce the G at the end? Meringue? His last name is Moran.

Oh. So there's the joke there. You didn't know my last name. I've always wanted to know my last name. After I've taken the time to learn yours so thoroughly. You didn't know why we call him Lemon Mike all the time? Lemon Mike. Lemon Mike Moran?

Lemon Moran Mike. Oh. Thanks, honey. I thought it was because he doesn't work like a lemon. It's like a bad car. Oh, the Ford Improv. Nothing? The Ford Improv.

I was thinking of comedy names slash cars. Oh, as like the comedy club. The Pontiac Improv. Like it's a car that's made with a sense of improv, so they didn't really get it right. So all the design is flawed because it was improvised. But there's something so organic about it.

Right. Like the steering wheel doesn't really, it's not really a wheel. It's like a column. And you have to grip it with both hands. Maybe there's not four wheels because it was improvised. Yeah, I think your cord just got fucked up there. So the creation of the

car was improvised? They just put them in a garage or a factory, gave them some steel and they're like, go. Tires. Mike, you look like you have the world's smallest Mohawk right now. It's adorable. Wait, does anyone have a tape measure?

I'd like to find out. Let's get Guinness on the phone. Can you Wikipedia that? Sure. World's smallest mohawk. I already have. Owner. I need dimensions and current owner.

I'm suffering from world's smallest sleep deprived kind of like. Calyx? You know that weird state that you get in where you're not like super sleep depriveddeprived but you're pretty sleep-deprived heroin you don't feel bad right in the gray you're just like I kind of like that stakes it makes me relax room a lot in this everything's kind of hazy yeah yeah okay yeah medical marijuana it's the natural equivalent I. How do you guys feel about medical marijuana? Or MM? In terms of...

Mike's mom? What? My mom's dead. I'm sorry to hear that. Dead tired of not having legal marijuana in Maryland. It's a travesty. I think it's supposed to be. Supposed to be what?

Medical marijuana? Legalized for medical purposes. Sure. Throughout the country. Right. But isn't there still shit going down with like busts in California? Yeah, it's like federally they can still get terrible. I'm noticing a pattern here with you, Alex, though.

You're all about the weed. You're eating lake trout now. Okay. Pie. Pie. And you're having issues with erection. Right. Not a problem.

I didn't say a problem. I said issues. Oh. And you care about what women are like on the inside. Right. Like pie. So I'm just too high to realize that all I should care about is how cute their faces. Obviously.

Okay. All right. Yeah, I think that's it. I hope that wasn't too mind-blowing. I don't know. One last question. Alex, do you believe in God? And if so, why?

How could I possibly believe in God being in this basement with you three? There is no God Based on this current experience This, Grand Prix And the 10th anniversary of 9-11 There is no way I could believe in God What if I were to show you Evidence of footprints next to dinosaur footprints

Evidence of God's footprints next to Jesus carrying the dinosaur Wasn't it? Isn't that how that story goes? The dinosaur is like, hey, I thought I was alone Dinosaur footprints. Evidence of God's footprints. That was Jesus carrying the dinosaur. Oh. Wasn't it? Isn't that how that story goes? Yeah. The dinosaur's like, hey, I thought I was alone. Jesus is like, no, I was carrying you.

Yeah, yeah. Or something. Judah in my own house. Footprints in the sand. Carried a dinosaur. Hey, what would a sexual Judas do? What? A sexual.

If someone called you a sexual Judas, what would that mean? Why were you called this? No, no, no. I'm just trying to see whether or not that there would be like a sexual Judas, what would that mean? Why would you call this? No, no, no. I'm just trying to see whether or not there would be a sexual Judas. How would you betray someone? How would you say someone betrays someone sexually? What would you do? Come too soon?

Anal without permission. I was going to say back to her. No, no, no. Having sex with somebody's wife. Betrayal is the meaning behind telling someone a Judas. Right. So it would have to be something like you betray your friends to have sex with their wives or something like that. Which I believe is in Leviticus.

I think so. Yeah, I was trying to get real literal, like sexual acts, like the Cleveland Steamer, sexual Judas. Cleveland Steamer, good comedy club name, by the way. Is there really a comedy club called the Cleveland Steamer. Sexual Judas. Cleveland Steamer. Good comedy club name, by the way. Is there really a comedy club called the Cleveland Steamer? Where would you have it? What city? Cincinnati. Yeah.

It would be ironically. Topeka. Topeka. Topeka. Topeka. Topeka. Topeka. Topeka.

Topeka. Topeka. Topeka, where you at, girl? Where my Topekas? Sexual Judas. All right. So I don't really have anything good there. I was just curious.

Sexual Judas. I just like betraying someone sexually. Like, that would have to be also sort of selfish. Okay, well, how can you betray someone sexually? Yeah, what are you thinking? Like, if you promise something. I don't really. I just was hoping you guys would find something.

What if one of your friends tells you a secret about their lurid sexual past, and then you tell the Romans about it? Would that make you? And then they crucify him. Are we talking about a time machine? Crucify your ding-dong. No, no. We're not talking about now?

No. Romans exist now, yes. Yeah. Where are they? In Rome. Oh, medieval times. Arundel Mills. Arundel Mills.

Arundel Mills. Yeah. Arundel Mills, where you at? What time is medieval Times supposed to be? Does anyone know? There's one in, oh, where is it, like, set? Well, what period is it supposed to be from? The dark.

Like the Rosa Parks era. I think the Paleolithic era. Rosa Parks. 1950s Rosa Parks era. You really like playing that race car. I had Lake Charles. I had Lake Charles. I had Lake Charles.

Civil rights reenactor. That's right. I had Lake Charles. You said you were a civil rights reenactor. Yeah. That's right. I played George Wallace, Governor George Wallace. Civil rights reenactment. I get to be Rosa. I'm Governor George Wallace. You're on to something amazing there.

Please set up an event. A civil rights reenactment. There actually is, in Haiti right now, a slave theme park that they're trying to set up. Really? Where you could be a slave, pretend to be a slave and be on a ship. I always wondered why Colonial Williamsburg didn't incorporate the slave part of their reenactment. Good thinking. I don't know.

Isn't that part of that period? To attract African Americans. I remember seeing something on the news with some reenactors where they actually did have some slaves in the reenactment, and it was really controversial. I don't believe you. I'm just going to put that out there. I think you're lying. I'm curious about this now. I appreciate you being so blunt. Does everybody want a beer, by the way?

I'm okay. Come on, Alex. I don't drink. Drink for me. Would you drink for me tonight? No, I'm doing a bet. No beer for a year. No, really?

Bullshit. So it's all vodkas? Can you still drink alcohol? I can still drink alcohol. No beer, no fast food, but only fast food if a drive-thru counts as fast food. Yeah, I don't know of any drive-thrus that count as fast food, so you should be good. No, no, no. You didn't hear me right. Only fast food if a drive-thrus that count as fast food, so you should be good. No, no, no. You didn't hear me right.

Yeah. Only fast food with a drive-thru counts as a fast food place. So the lake trout was okay. Lake trout's okay. No drive-thru. Because you had to walk in there. Oh, if there's no drive-thru. Right.

But you can't walk into a McDonald's and sit down and eat. Right. Shouldn't it just be no alcohol for a year? Like, why? Because it's a very low-risk bet. It's $10. Right. Oh. So if it was, you know, yeah thank you i'd throw that in there so what's keeping you honest about it though like what are you going to be completely because it's a bet with myself

oh i don't want to lose so you're checking in on yourself i don't want to give myself ten dollars why would you make that bet what was the reasoning uh i i moved into a new place and i wanted i wanted it to be the fit house and have me and all my roommates uh i smell reality show there fit house fit house celebrity fit house why celebrity though because clearly none of you are celebrities so where'd you not yet we Not yet. We're pseudo-celebrities. Fake it till you make it, you know? It's me, Rawlings Blake. Snooki. Snooki. Henry Rawlings Blake.

Henry Rawlings... Henry J.K. Rawlings Blake. It's coming. That is good. So it was, by design, it was to incorporate... And there was one asshole in the house that said, there's no way you're going to do that. There's no way anybody.

And I was like, let's put a little bit of money on it. I bet he was a rich kid with a jacket tied around his shirt. He's actually the villain from Better Off Dead. Yeah, I figured it was something like that. The ski guy. Wow, you got him in the house. Yeah, I got him. Nice.

Celebrity thing. All right, of course. So all I have to do is tell you, you can't do something. And you will, in turn, get defensive enough to try to show me. Alex, I bet you $10 you can't give me massages every day for the next year and a half. Like, you are so odd. Prove them wrong. But see, you can't mention the whole betting part originally, or else I'll know you're up to something.

If you just say, if I say, I'm going to give you massages for a year, and you say, no, you can't. And I'll be like, $10, Mike. I'm going to give you massages. So it only works if you set up the premise. Right. How can we exploit this? You've got to trick him into it.

Civil rights reenactment. That's how we exploit it. That is such a, that's really the best idea I've heard in years. Really? That is even better than the iPad. Why am I always the bus driver in the civil rights reenactment? It's better than the iPad. And the iPad, too?

It's in between the two. The wrath of Khan. Your iPad's for years. God. It was very unfortunate. That's fucked up. No iPads allowed for the civil rights reenactment. That was part of the...

Rosa Parks, they weren't. They didn't have those back then. Are you sure? Part of the times back then was no iPads. Take your ass and your iPad to the back of this bus right now, Rosa Parks. This is a whites-only iPad, too. You people in your past disgust me. Flash is now

operating for whites only iPads. Doesn't the iPad have a mouse? I was trying to go further with it. Water fountains, iPads. Water fountains. At the Apple store they have iPads that are colored only.

It's like a shitty iPad. And like only the white employees are dressed really hip. The blacks have to wear like stuffy work outfits. It's like the sort of average guy bar or whatever. You guys should have like a third like black sidekick. So I feel a little more comfortable saying all this. Well, Mike Bowen, I think he's actually half black.

Mike, I've always wondered about you. Regarding. He looks like he's got a little. Are you half black? I was born in Japan. That explains the eyes. Toyota Quesadilla. Regarding.

Are you the Toyota Quesadilla? No. Are you? It sounds like a superhero when you say it that way. Are you the prototype of the Toyota Quesadilla? Are you the Toyota Quesadilla? I invented the Pontiac Improv. I just invented it.

You improvised the Pontiac Improv. I just invented another one in my mind just now. You improvised the Pontiac Improv? Yeah. That's right. I was the head guy on that project. You were the head guy on that project? Yeah. I didn't know that. Wow.

Thank you. You were head from Korn. I don't know what that means. Korn? Oh, wow. Are you that old? Is that guy dead? Korn.

No. Did he try to kill himself? I think he quit Korn, and then he opened up an orphanage. Corn oh wow I think he quit corn and then he opened up like an orphanage should he opened up a can of Like a Christian rocker Corn killed themselves tried to kill themselves field Fieldy? Tell me it's Fieldy. I'm going to break down in tears. Come on, Fieldy. Please be the one to kill yourself. Was Incubus really a band? Does anyone know?

Yeah, they're performing right now. In the basement, two doors down? No, they're at Merriweather right now. This is going to be embarrassing. How is that even possible? This is going to be embarrassing, but Incubus, come on. I thought it was your dog's name. Incubus. Incubus.

Come here, Incubus. Not you, Hoobastank. Incubus. Come on down. Hoobastank. Does anyone know what Hoobastank is? Because I just found out what this is. Hoobutstank.

Right? You know, right? Yeah. That's where they got the name from. Apparently, when you're having sex with someone in the ass and I don't know that it's gender specific, whatever smell that emanates, is it specifically a woman? I think

butts smell regardless of gender. I can look it up on Wikipedia. Yeah, but guy butts smell more, I'm sure. You're sure about that? That's true. Is your evidence support? I'd say I've applied the scientific method to it several times formerly uh hypotheses i had an awkward moment at hamden fest uh yesterday brought my dog to

hamden fest and dogs like to sniff and this girl had her back towards us and my dog literally went right up to this chick's butthole like nose right on it and sniffed several times. Oh, my God. And what was her response? She didn't notice. It was just kind of awkward. I had to kind of pull my dog away. Did you smell your dog's nose?

No. I was going to say that. She must have a numb butthole. I'm thinking she farted or something. She had to have farted. Has she bathed since that incident? And can we smell your dog's nose? Sure.

Oh, my dog has not bathed. And she also laid down in the street. Your dog incubus? Yeah, my dog incubus. Do you know what an incubus is, gentlemen? She stinks of Brandon Boyd. Did you drive your Ford Improv to the Hampton Fest? Oh, stop.

Sorry. It's not as handsome as it is. Do you guys know what an incubus is? Isn't it some sort of monster? Yeah. From hell. Some kind of devil creature? It's a goddamn succubus. No, no. It's a Pont handsome. Do you guys know what an incubus is? Isn't it some sort of monster? Yeah. From hell. Devil creature? It's a goddamn succubus.

No, no. It's a... Succubus. The Pontiac incubus. That's what I'm thinking. Oh, right. Everyone loves that car. But didn't they have to name the incubus after something?

It's a shame. No, they didn't. They just made it up. Here's a fun fact. An incubus is a car. Did you know that there was... Let's get the fun fact thing. There was an accepted planet called Vulcan until the 1900s that they thought was revolving near Mercury.

Really? And then somebody thought to look up in the sky, and they're like, there's nothing there. Well, you know, Star Trek came out 70 years after that. Yeah, it was named after that planet. Okay, I just didn't want you thinking, whoa, Star Trek was going on. You thought I mistook Star Trek for the news or something. Well, did you guys know there was a planet called Vulcan? I hope my tax money isn't going to this James T. Kirk.

He's just a real pussy hound. He doesn't seem to be doing anything. That news reporter, James T. Kirk, announced it. James T. Kirk. I'm James T. Kirk signing out. Science, Kirk, and Miles. I think Science... If you have a phone.

He's actually pitching Slocum. Yeah, it's just Science and Kirk. William Shatner is pitching Slocum. It's very strange. He's pitching a local lawyer. He's doing a commercial for a local lawyer. I see that.

Why would he do that? What do you think that is? Is that one of those things where he does like a million of them? I would imagine. Correct. Yes. They put a green screen of lawyer books behind him. And they hand him the I believe in this guy commercial script.

And then he fills in the name. I believe in. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And they just piece it together. Slowcom. Yes. Holocaust. I they just piece it together. Slow, calm. Yes. Holocaust. I did not believe in the Holocaust.

If you're like me, you didn't believe in me. I seriously did sign up. So I was doing a 48-hour film project a few years ago, and I signed up two groups, one group for a friend of mine, just so that I could record him saying a bunch of stuff and then editing it down to get him to say, like, the Holocaust. Right. This is a true story. Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is a true story.

Why didn't you bring it up 20 minutes ago when we were saying we were going to do exactly that? This is how you catch someone lying, my friends. Somebody's sitting in the hot seat right now. Maybe because I actually don't think that the Holocaust happened. Oh, no! Wow, you just made my work really easy for me. Touché. Touché.

For making my life so easy. I'm glad you just came out and said it, because now it's true, right? Once you say something, it's true. The tension in the air is, like, gone now. We're just... I was saying, B, you can't cut the tension with a knife. Why is it you can cut the tension with a knife? Because it's so thick.

That means it could be paper thick. It means it does not exist. You can still cut it with a knife. Look, I'm cutting the tension with a knife, an improv knife. You're blowing my mind right now. That's not all I'm blowing right now. Your version, you can't cut it with a knife, right? Are we talking about the cheese?

See the tension's right here. It's in the room. Cutting the cheese. We've resorted to cutting the cheese. That's me right here, buddy. Wow. I tried to kill the bit with the cheese remark. It's done.

Cutting the cheese. I'm going to have a whole set on cutting the cheese. That's going to be my new... That should be Dan the man. You should clear your throat every time you do that part. Cutting the cheese. We're having a pen and cheese bit. That already is gold, the way you said it.

Somebody cut the cheese. I would come see you if you just did that for 20 minutes. Do some crowd work. Just variations on the phrase. Look at this couple here. Looks like somebody cut the cheese. Yes, it is her. So where do you work? She totally cut the cheese. Look at this couple here. Looks like somebody cut the cheese. Yes, it is her. So where do you work?

She totally cut the cheese. Oh, yeah? You ever cut the cheese there? That's insane. How about that Obama, huh? Yeah. I hear that Obama office stinks because he cuts the cheese.

The government cheese. Cut, cut, cut. Cut the cheese. What's cheese. Cut, cut, cut. Cut the cheese. What's up with that debt ceiling? And then you have like a Gallagher type thing where you have like a block of cheese. And then cut, cut, cut, cut. While like fart noises play. Can my special on HBO be called Cutting the Cheese with Mike Moran?

Sure, go ahead. I'm just picturing like 80s writing too, like Miami Vice. Cutting the cheese. Bad like cut, cut, cut, cut writing too, like Miami Vice, like cutting the cheese. Cut, cut, cut. Your fans could be called cheese cutters. Where my cheese cutters at? Cut, cut, cut. Those would be like people in the audience be wearing cheese hats.

That would be the cheese pound. The cheese pound. Who's in my cheese pound tonight? I like that. Instead of a big foam number one, they have big foam scissors that they wear. Put the cheese back. Say the line. Yeah, you just throw out cheese nibs.

Oh, and who let the dogs out? Who let the cheese out? That's fun. That's the second who let the dogs out reference of the evening. You're welcome. We were rehearsing the Soundgarden song. It's a slow night. Outshined or all shined?

Usually it's a lot. I always forget this. I think it's Outshine. And there's a lyric in regards to letting the dogs out. Josh thought I was making up a dummy lyric. Incubus? No, Soundgarden.

No, the dog Incubus. I thought you said his dog's name was Incubus. One of the dogs' names is Incubus, the other is Hoobastank. And then there's Hoobastank gotcha the less popular dog for obvious reasons the less talented dog who was thanks to the dog right what isn't Hoobastank an Asian dog yeah Asian Kali wasn't the guy from Hoobastank Asian he actually I don't know he just resembled an Asian yeah Yeah, I think he did.

He ate a lot of Chinese food. That's why everyone thought he was Asian. But he was not. Hey, Hooba. What are you doing? Maybe he was Caucasian. That's where I got confused. Cock?

Caucasian. Caucasian. Speaking of Hamden Fest, I saw a list of performers, and one of them was Hootie B. Who's Hootie B? I don't know, but I asked the guy, is this Hootie B from Hootie b and i would be i don't know but i asked the guy is this hootie b from hootie b and the blowfish and he was like no i don't think it is just answered you seriously is that the worst when you say something ridiculously like that and the person thinks you're so stupid that they answer you like seriously who cut the cheese and

then you have to try to explain it i really don don't know. At Virgin Fest, they had a screen where people could text and, like, say something. And it would go up on, like, the large screen. The Holocaust didn't happen. They must censor those. I think they do. But there was one where the Black Keys were performing up next. And somebody was like, I can't wait for black-eyed peas. And then, like, four comments later, it was like,

you idiot, black-eyed peas aren't performing. Yeah, I feel like any time you do anything, like, I bet you we'll get comments like, yeah, I don't know about that cut in the cheese thing. I don't know if that's going to be funny, Mike. That's not going to work, Mike. Don't do it. It's kind of amateur and immature.

You're above that. Have you lost, like, your respect for, like, the human race, like, ever since, like, doing comedy and stuff? immature. You're above that. Have you lost your respect for the human race ever since doing comedy? Comments. No. Have you? No. See, you didn't get it. Of course I don't.

What do you mean? Because you're noticing all the weird things about people? Hey, can you give us a hand clap on our five? No, because people don't get it Well executed Well, you think they say that after like an electric? Hey, we're gonna do well executed echo so quicker repeat on the initial one repeat Bop-bop well you say something that you have to clap to you know later high

five about could you do your cut the cheese bit again yeah hey mike did you cut the cheese all right all right that was good that was good with the magic of the podcast. That's not going on the cutting room floor. Oh, by the way, we were talking about whether or not you believe in God. Where'd you go with that again? You said no. I said absolutely not.

And that was it, pretty much. This is by virtue of experiences during your life. Or just pre-life. Pre-life. Or when you were in purgatory last year. What happened in my mom's insides left me so scarred that I knew no presence of God. Were you strangled by the placenta? I think she was eating a lot of Toyota quesadillas, wasn't she? She was eating a lot of Toyota quesadillas.

The placenta haught you? She was driving a Toyota quesadilla. She was driving in cars Driven by strange men Were you delivered in the back of a Pontiac Improv By an improvised doctor Did your mom cut the cheese

When she had you Here it comes Crank it up Cut cut cut Cut cut cut Did you guys see the SNL, like the bad comedy

slogans or whatever? The catchphrases of comedy or the kings of catchphrases. You got a Dracula chasing you. Just turn around and kick the bitch. It just dissolves into pure absurdity where it's kind of like the idea that comedians

may as well be saying anything, and people are just like, ah! I thought Zach Galifianakis took the easy way out with the air horn, though. Yeah. That was kind of weak. I liked eating dookie. You ever catch your wife with another man? What was it?

No, you ever come home and catch your wife eating dookie? And he keeps going. It's like, how does dookie get in my hand? Boo! Jelly! We can all relate to that one. That was good. I'm honestly terrified of doing Stand Up Alone at this upcoming Chuckle Storm.

Why do you have a southern accent sometimes? I'm honestly terrified of the south. I'm honestly terrified of dookies. Somebody's reenacting over there. Falling back into it. You are? You're scared of doing it solo? Yeah, I do it as a duo for the listeners that have no clue who I am.

And I think my mind has just like, that's the only way it works. Have you ever done it solo? I have never done it solo. Really? Yeah. You should be concerned then. Very, very concerned. Because to me, it sounds? I have never done it solo. Really? Yeah. Well. You should be concerned then. Very, very concerned. Yeah.

Because to me. It could go terribly. This sounds like a mountain that might be too high for you to climb this time. This could be the end for you. This could not only ruin my show, but. Better Off Dead, the 2K. I think it could ruin the bar altogether. This is your 2K or whatever it's called.

People might be so mad they'll just burn it down. They could burn down your place of work. That's fine. I'm heavily insured. I'll walk away. I will not. But your career will be over. It will.

So you can never get that back. But, you know, the other way of looking at it is, like, if I bomb so bad, I'll be like, I'm not a solo comedian. I'm part of a duo. I got to stick to the thing. Well, here's the thing, though. Everybody pretty much bombs when they first try doing it. Now, I don't know if that rule applies to when you first try doing it solo, but it's possible. I think if you just come out and eat some dookie or something.

Maybe that would be an icebreaker. Say something people can relate to. Eating dookie. We've all come home to catch our significant others eating dookie. I mean, everyone will instantly identify with you. We're all thinking that, but we don't want to say it out loud. There's a comedian named Ayana Dookie, right? Yeah.

That's her gimmick, right? No, that's her real name. What's her name? Hand to God, Ayana Dookie. Ayana Dookie. Yeah, John Ulrich works with her. Ayana Dookie? Ayana Dookie.

Ayana Dookie. Yeah. I wanna dookie. I wanna dookie. Ayana Dookie. Ayana Dookie. Yeah. Iwana Dookie. Yeah, I thought, like... Iwana Dookie. Iwana Dookie. If it was a gimmick, wouldn't you go with Iwana? Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

Iwana Dookie. Are you going to write, like, any topical, like, straight-up stand-up stuff? Or are you going to... I'm doing the character bit. Which is the Mexican guy that you're going to make fun of Mexican people? Was that the thing you were talking about earlier? I'm mocking the character bit. Which is the Mexican guy that you're going to make fun of? Mexican people? Was that the thing you were talking about earlier? I'm mocking Mexican comedians. Mexican what?

Mexican comedians. Okay, you're going to mock them. Like Mencius. Like Ricky Ricardo. That's the one I'm going after. I got to take that guy down a peg. Seriously. Acting like his shit don't stink in that casket.

And his boobas stink. So what is that called? a page seriously acting like a shit don't stink in that casket and his shirt who was stank uh so you're gonna so what is that called satire or is it a parody um yeah you could call it that satire strikes back that's what you can call the show the satire strikes back theme thing i haven't the vulcan as i haven't seen any premise Premise. The imaginary planet, right? That was Star Wars. Star 80? No, I was referring to your story about the Vulcan planet. Yeah. Sorry, I don't know.

But that's related to Star Trek. Star Trek. I haven't seen a second of either thing. Does that make sense? You're lying. I believe him, actually. I'm lying about the second thing, but I have not seen more than a minute. All right, so you're going to try to do

this parody or satire of this Mexican comedian. Right, his name is Hector Arredo. What else have you thought of so far? I'm going to have special guests join me. Different comedians. Mike Moran, I heard my name involved in this. Possibly Mike Moran. Perhaps Dan the Man Gufterson. He might make an appearance

as well. Dude is famous who cut the cheese. Stephanie Rawlings Blake might make an appearance as well. Dude is famous who cut the cheese. Stephanie Rawlings-Blake might make an appearance and cut the cheese with us. Tim the Toolman Taylor? He might be there. Oh, dude. John Wayne Gacy on my Facebook page.

A home improvement reunion. Yeah, it just happened. And Richard Carnes still rocking flannel. Is it like a show? Is it like a TV show or something? Wait, the boy killer? There's nothing that we can't say. He was saying John Wayne Gacy off mic. I'm not sure why.

Yeah, we don't want to talk about serial killers in front of the lady. Keep it to the Holocaust and civil rights, please. I read his biography. I didn't want Incubus the dog to hear it. John Wayne Gage. So many boys. He should write a song about it or something. It's cool. Hundreds of boys.

So anyways, but Chuckle Storm is a great show. I love it. I love doing it. I love going to it. It's one of the funnest places ever. People get a kick out of you performing at it. Is it going to hold up with just him? I mean, why? That seems to be... Maybe you should just call it Storm or just

Chuckle since half the show is gone. Maybe not even a storm. Chuckle Drizzle. Breeze. Chuckle Drizzle. How about Chuckle Breeze? Chuckle Fog. You know, I got into a feud. Tropical Storm Chuckle. I got into a feud with a DC comic. A feud? You got into a feud? I got into a feud. Tropical Storm Chuckle. I got into a feud with a DC comic. A feud?

You got into a feud? I got into a feud. Oh, shit. What's this motherfucker's name? I'm not going to name him. Let's besmirch him. I'm not going to. Let's besmirch the shit out of him. Tell us the feud from his point of view. Okay. It better be complete bullshit. That's a good idea. I never thought about that. I don't know if I can.

Sorry, continue. I'll tell you my side. Seriously, how do you think he saw it? Yeah? Let's be fair In a British accent no, I can't even think the way that So here's here's what went down I can't even think the way that he... He said shit to you. So here's what went down. I'll give you just the cold hard facts. Damn it.

Okay. I invited him to do the show. To do Hoobastank with you? I said Hoobastank. Sorry. I will shut up now. I'm not going to tell a story.

No, I'm shutting up. I'm sorry. Sorry. Somebody's butt stank's down here. We're going to find out who after this story. Get my Hoobastank meter out. The snifferoo section. That's the noise from the Hoobastank machine?

It's like the radiation detector, right? The Geiger counter. Geiger meter. Oh, his butt. His butt. Geiger, I already know. He's sure. Feud story.

All right, continue. The machine's just like, yo, butt stank. I got it right. His butt. Feud story. All right, continue. The machine's just like, your butt stank. I don't think so. Maybe. I invited a DC comic to do the show. And, you know, I guess he probably, you know, I'll be fair to him. Can you tell the story as him? As him?

Yeah, be like, I got invited to do this bullshit fucking show. Well, okay, there's a part of this quick story that gets to that. So you invited him to Chuggle Storm? Invited him to Chuggle Storm, and I guess I didn't offer him enough. I guess he thinks of himself as a headliner because he headlines others. As cash money? Yeah. Is that what we're talking?

And, you know, he probably doesn't want to make the commute to Baltimore for non-headliner pay. No one wants to make that commute. True. And he said yes. And then he said, yes, let me get back to you. And then I even ran into him in person like a week later. and I was like, hey, what's the story with this thing? And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that should be good. I'll contact you very shortly.

And then he never contacted me. I contacted him several times, emailed him, and called him. Nothing. And so the show comes. he doesn't show up so it was it felt like a big slap in the face right and as a very petty thing i got on facebook the social networking site yeah um i'm familiar with that i saw you are i saw the movie it's on the internet and i went on his profile and on his wall i wrote hey thanks for not showing up last night i'm really glad i asked you to do it that's it just a simple that and on the wall that's a

public forum how simple is that though really i mean you're you're now you've created a confrontation i have demands a response but there it was it was yeah that's true so it's not simple and then it started this big controversy of like me calling him him out and him saying that he didn't really say yes. Did he give you a steady confirmation? Mike, seriously, you take his side right now, the other guy. Pretend like you're him, just really quick. Can you do it? Look, I never told you flat out that I said yes.

You could have sent me a message. You didn't need to post that on mine. Okay, got you. Ooh! Well. So what's up? Actually, there was a couple occasions where you did say pretty much yes. I said pretty much yes.

Yeah, I'll give you credit. You didn't give me a final yes. Right, exactly. But in the number of times I tried to contact you for that final yes, you did not pick up. You did not call me back. And how would you take that as, A? I would take that as somebody being irresponsible. Look, I'm a headliner.

Fight, fight, fight. You think irresponsible people get headlining slots? No. Slots? Slots. Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. Oh, great. Now you called out his name.

The comedian in question is Jerry Springer. Jerry Stiller. Anyways. So what was his defense, though? His defense was, I didn't give you a definite yes. He went on another podcast uh like a dc podcast yo fuck a dc podcast and began to bash me the show he he referred to it as chuckle hut he went a long way to find that one i mean he really touched the uh

chuckle storm hut yeah chuckle hut oh isn't that one of those usual like go to's for the name of the comedy club in the shitty city somewhere like oh not the chuckle hut tomorrow night comedians usually drop that

as a dumb comedy club name right that's how chuckle storm was born yeah I don't know about that can we wikipedia that

hey do you have chuckle sluts cause I know this thing has gotten pretty big. I mean, are there a lot of women that hang around really like you guys? Yeah, there's a few. Yeah. Wow.

Do comedians hook up with chicks? Mike would like to know because clearly it's never happened. Seriously. Everybody be honest. Do comedians have sex ever? Seriously. Have you had sex? Let's go figure this out. be honest do comedians have sex ever? seriously have you okay

have you had sex? let's go figure this out do it I have never there's a drag queen comedian though Dorian Gray he lives next to my mom

yeah and he basically has sex with all the other guy comedians really? it's like prison he's gay? no he's not

he's not but he's like he just takes that role in the comedy world oh are you serious? yeah is this something you want to be broadcasting? No, he's not. He's not, but he's like, he just takes that role in the comedy world. Oh. Are you serious? Yeah.

Is this something you want to be broadcasting? This thing is something I want to broadcast. This is going to be a lot of fun. So is your feud over? Is it resolved? You're done? You guys haven't spoken in a while? You know, I think we did. Yeah, when did this happen?

This was a month and a half ago, maybe. All right. Two months ago. All right. I just hope it doesn't end up like Tupac and Biggie. I know. We got dragged in the middle of this. Apparently, he shit on you on a podcast.

Now you're shitting on him on our podcast. Yeah, you're right. Oh, is this me bringing it back? Can we link this directly to his Facebook page? Is this me? I think so. Hey, thanks for showing up to the podcast. No, is this me bringing it back?

We can actually do that. Hey, have you met this? I'm sorry. I, thanks for showing up to the podcast. Is this me bringing it back? You can actually do that. Hey, have you met this guy? I'm sorry. I know you've met the guy. Could you beat him in a fight if it actually came down to a dark alley? We are both pretty lanky, so I think we size up pretty comparably. So you're saying it's a draw? Here's the best part. On that podcast where he bashes me in the show, the host asks him, so is it settled?

And he said, well, you know, I don't like the guy. And if he ever performs at a DC show, I might get him bumped. Whoa. Which means like. Is that kind of power? I guess so. Yeah, right. Yeah, right.

I'm sure he doesn't. Wow, he's got a lot of pull if he can get you... What was his name again? His name was Jerry Stiller. I'm pretty sure that's not true. Yeah. That guy's old. He doesn't live in D.C.

So you're calling Alex a liar. I think so. All right, I was just curious. He's got feuds popping up all over the place. That's what happens when you run in the territory he runs in. He just accused you of being a liar. What if I start feuds with established comedians the way rappers do? You should.

Like who? Locally, would you start a feud with? Locally? Locally or big time? I mean, I'd have to go after somebody big. Let's talk local. Take Jerry Seinfeld on, man. There's plenty of comedians that I'd love to say you suck.

What's the deal with Jerry Seinfeld? Do you really? Well, yeah. You don't think there's like a million crappy comedians that I'd love to say you suck. What's the deal? Do you really? You don't think there's a million crappy comedians on Comedy Central? Name one. I dare you. I cannot think of any that suck. She has moments, though. You don't think she has moments?

Everybody has moments. Did you see Jesus is Magic? That's when I stopped liking her. I thought collectively, and it's obviously a stand-up piece, and she's worked some music video stuff and some conversational things from her living room regarding the show or whatever. I thought it was decent.

I didn't think it was amazing. What about, who's that guy on... Jeff Dunham. The guy with the walker, though. I loved that guy when I was a kid actually Jeff Dunham yeah as a kid when you were a dumb right yeah I tried watching him as an adult didn't do it for me but I don't think I'd be resentful at someone like that I just feel like that's kind of like more yeah it's true all right Sarah Silverman's on

your shit list really you're sure the guy in the blue collar show? Larry? No. Any of those guys. Bill Engvall? I think him. You know Bill Engvall? He's sort of the fat-faced

alcoholic-y guy. I don't think I really like him. You know Bill Engvall's real name is Marty Bill Engvall? He like took Bill Engvall and made it Bill Engvall. Good for him. Yeah.

That takes imagination. That's not true, by the way. Really? That's not true. That's hilarious. Isn't the way. Really? That's not true. That's hilarious. Isn't that an amazing thing to tell people, though? Story was amazing. Did you know that Whitney Houston was born in Denver and John Denver was born in Houston?

Is that true? Nope. All right. Holy shit. Whitney Cummings. She's got a new NBC showc show you're a fan right i would say that a handful of her roast jokes are funny but from what little i've seen of her television shit it looks pretty awful yeah it's amazing how disliked she is in the comedy world it's because she went up so fast, right? Yeah

She came out of DC right did she know I thought she came out of DC. Who is she did actually Whitney Cummings I mean she she's done well on the Comedy Central roast She has her own NBC show now like a primetime show called Whitney and she's writing on a show called Two Girls One Cock. What is it? Two Girls One Cock? I don't know. Anyways, yeah, she's doing that. Judas of the Two Girls One Cock. Judas of the Two Girls One Cock. Only how Judas and my own cup.

Can we say... I can't quite think of anyone else right now. Dwight Yoakam. What percentage I can't quite think of anyone else right now, but I can get to you. Dwight Yoakam. Yeah, you're picking on all the ladies. What percentage of stand-up comedians are terrible in your mind? What percentage of what? All stand-up comedians are awful.

On all level, like local and famous? Yeah, I mean, it's hard to gauge. It depends on what you mean by terrible. There's certainly many that are good at what they do that I'm just not that into. Yeah, I mean, it's hard to gauge. It depends on what you mean by terrible. There's certainly many that are good at what they do that I'm just not that into. Right. Like a good band that I just don't like. You can respect it, but it's just not your thing. Right.

And then there's certainly a lot of resorting to really cheap stuff. There's certainly a lot of going for the same buzzwords and shock points. Do you think that part of that is a product of the DC Improv's comedy workshops? On the surface level, to me, it's almost abhorrent that you would teach that. Is it stand-up workshops? It's like a class, yeah. I wouldn't say that that's abhorrent, just

because I've learned so much in the field of improv, and I kind of wish that there was a... There's so much written about improv and so much to learn that'll help you, but there's not a whole lot with stand-up, I've noticed. I also feel like a lot of times, and I'm going to exclude you from this, a lot of times improvers can't make the leap to stand-up.

Well, yeah, it's like a group dynamic versus a solo thing. Don't tell me that,'t tell me that josh actually um did you see there's a documentary there's an eddie izzard documentary have you seen it i have not seen it apparently he was like a duo guy initially and then when he went solo he was really terrified but he said the way he overcame it was when he was writing jokes, he would write the other part, what his partner would say, but then he would just say both parts. So it's like

he kind of did the same thing, so it'd be like blah, blah, blah, and then he would play the other part of that guy, but it's still him. Just replace the word Dan with Alex. Alex and Alex? Yeah. Alright. What do you think of that, Alex? Oh, I'm Alex. No, I'm Alex.

That's my hat. Who cut the cheese, Alex? You can fight over the hat. I didn't cut the cheese. You did. Alex cut the cheese. What if I come on stage dressed as Dan? That would be hilarious.

Does he have his own distinct style, though? No. I've seen him. I'm not sure anyone would get that. I think he would just wear Dan's. We have outfits. We have the shorts. Thankfully, we have the outfits.

But they'd still just probably think that I'm the replacement Dan on a sitcom when they replace somebody. Yeah. You are Becky from Roseanne. Yeah, Becky. You are Sarah Chalk from Roseanne. Who? Scrubs chick. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Who replaced Becky. What happened to the original Becky? Is she still around? She actually came back to Roseanne in later seasons. I remember that. And then she left again. What is that? How can people?

She went to college and then came back. She was accused of a third degree boob-a-stank. You're internationally famous and you had to go to college? Okay, that's not stupid. That's not stupid. I'm sorry. But it's stupid to not put it off a few years. Yeah.

I mean, it's not like Roseanne's going to go on until you're 40 and you're 15 at the time. Exactly. To go to college. Yeah. I mean, I do kind of respect it when celebrities go to college, even though I probably wouldn't make that choice if I was in that position. James Franco, like...

Just showing off. He fucking needs college. James Franco is in like three schools, right? He's in like three Ivy League schools. My grandma's got a crush on him. He's not gay, by the way. To be fair, your grandma's like 25. I know, it's fucked up.

Your grandma's 25. James Franco, he's a real renaissance man. He's going to college. He's rich. He's a nice young man. He's an actor and he's getting like, yeah, he's rich. Should we talk to that James Franco? He's a nice young man. He's an actor, and he's getting his master's. Like, that's good. Why don't you send him a letter?

He's unbelievably rich. I've seen your grandmother's New York. New York Jew. Talk to that James Franco. That James Franco's doing pretty well, huh? Can you talk to him on the Facebooks? I know your kids are on the Facebooks. Does your grandmother do this when you're out because you're a vegetarian?

Does she do like, Josh, did you see they have eggplant parmesan? When I was a vegetarian, everybody would have to point out. Michael, did you see they have lettuce? Are you still a vegetarian? No. What happened? Did you start eating meat? I don't really like see they have lettuce yeah vegetarian no what happened um did you start eating me i don't really like to talk about it i don't know i don't know i kind of like in the commission of a hoopa stank

that you found uh i started eating the turkey that we were throwing away at paper moon when we would cut the turkey and speaking of cutting the turkey Moon when we would cut the turkey. And speaking of cutting the turkey, I think someone here cut the cheese. I think I know where this is going. Cut, cut, cut, cut. That should be your Thanksgiving special, I think. Cut the turkey. We'll cut the turkey. Bring out the monster.

Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. It's just me cutting cheese all day. So you put turkey into your mouth. Yeah, I was like, oh, it's getting thrown away anyway. So I started eating it. Did you feel the same way about the styrofoam and the garbage? Just the general shit that was in the garbage can. No, I told you, lemons take care of the styrofoam.

I just solved, like... Used condom. It's getting thrown away anyways. You may as well eat it. I think it's... My religion won't let me practice safe sex, but if a condom's getting thrown away... You will. Especially those flavored ones.

Those are closer to the Fruit Roll-Up. Right. Grab a mint condom, you know? I usually just smear peanut butter on them. Unless there's a Hoobastank probably. Right. You don't want those Hoobastank lifestyles. You don't want that.

I don't even know why they made those. Hey, you know, that would be what? A condom with like one of those Scented tree things hanging off of it That just smells like a butthole That's going to be my Air freshener condom Isn't the condom itself

The scented tree I don't know what you're trying to say right now You put the string around the condom Yeah you have to wear it on It adorns the condom The smell of the used condom is like the scent of Carson. Wow. It's like making fun of the college boy.

Adorns. Who needs college? What have you, sir? Oh, excuse me, Mr. Smarty, with your big syllable words. Some of your fancy adorns. Six words, huh? Adorns. Adorn. That is like a syllable word. You and your fancy adorns. It's six words, huh? Adorns.

Adorned. That is like one of those advertising words. The door is adorned. It's not open. It's adorned. It's adorned with fresh, crisp, and delicious. The car was adorned with Hoobastank smell. Nothing. Fresh.

You are hell-bent on smashing this table. I'm so sorry. No, it's fine. Have you started the big one? I can't even begin to. We're not ending this podcast until you drink both of those. I think we should get all our guests those. Giant Diet Cokes is like gifts.

You think the Diet Coke people will pay us for it? That'd be great. Have you talked to the Diet Coke people? Yeah, I talked to Jim Coke over at Diet Coke. Jim Coke. You call him Jim? Yeah, we're pretty close now. Jim and Barry Coke. Yeah. The Coke brothers. Frankenberry Coke.

Hey, you know there was a fourth monster for the Seals. No. Shut the fuck up. Get the fuck out of here right now. Frankenberry. I've got a gun to my head. Count Ch the fuck out of here right now. Frankenberry. I've got a gun to my head. Count Chocula. Count Chocula. Booberry.

Booberry. I'm sorry, there's five. Booberry. Fruity Mummy. What? No. You don't remember Fruity Yummy Mummy? First of all, Mike should remember because he's from the 40s. Close enough. Civil rights.

Okay, and they brought him back briefly when we were kids, and I remember seeing the commercials. Anyway, there was a fifth one called Fruit Brute, who was a werewolf. Fruit Brute. That sounds like the guy in Alex's basement, actually. That's a good comedian, too. I was hoping the fifth one would be like,

who's welcome Fruit Brute? Come on, Fruit Brute. I was hoping the fifth one would be like, who's welcome fruit brew? Come on, fruit brew. I was hoping the fifth one would be like Eddie Munster. Eddie Munster in a cereal? There was one? Eddie Munster in a cereal. Or like the Loch Ness Monster.

He was drafted into those shitty sci-fi conventions and charging people 20 bucks for an autograph. I think it's to take a picture because I'm referring to an urban legend. Poor guy. A lot of urban legends about child May is referring to an urban legend. Poor guy.

A lot of urban legends about child stars being drafted into the Army and killed in Vietnam. Is that what you're referring to? Actually, no. Killed in Vietnam by Coke and Pop Rocks. Yep. It's a scourge. That's true. You ever try that?

And Phil Collins. Oh, the combination of the two? Yeah. Don't do it. It'll kill you. Back in your heyday when you were trying everything. I was popular for that week. I showed off by doing pop rocks.

I will try anything. When you were attempting to black out on anything. Well, someone told me I couldn't do it. And then you bet them $10. And then it turned into that. Nice. Callback. I did it.

Another callback. Come on. Ready? That sounds like the beginning to Don Henley's Boys of Summer. I'm waiting for you guys just to kick into it. Is Don Henley sponsoring this podcast? No, Don Henley is sponsoring a shitty career at this point. Don will be on this.

Don Henley, your dog. Don Henley, an incubus. Come here. Incubus. Who bestowed? Don Henley, please. Come. Come at once.

I have a shitload of clothes. Corn. Fieldie. Fieldie the dog. No, that... Fieldie the dog would work, actually. That's corn rolls on it. Well, I think he's named after Garfield.

The president? James Garfield? Well, I think Garfield is named after Garfield. Garfield the president. The president was named after the president? Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, I remember how the president was always eating lasagna and mailing shit to Abu Dhabi. Really?

He was mailing other cats to Abu Dhabi? Yeah, on the tax cut. He was calling lasagna gate. Remember? He was paying all the taxpayers money on mailing shit to Abu Dhabi. Lasagna gate. Remember he wouldn't work on Mondays? He fucking hated Mondays.

Worst president ever. He blamed everything on Vice President Otis. He was totally the fall guy Otis. It's fucked up. Is Dilbert in there anywhere? This is good. I know something about Dilbert. This is also good.

I love you guys. What about the weird cartoons in the comics that are like soap operas. Yeah. Why were there adult-themed comic strips? Some get serious. And you really have to follow them in order to get the story. It'll be three panels just like, did you talk to Marjorie? No, I heard she was at the doctor.

Oh, no, this can't be good. Until next week. Tune in next week. But who reads that? I think that's genius though with regards to the maker of it. Yeah, I feel those guys have it.

I mean, this guy can go anywhere he wants for as long as he wants knowing that people are going to continue to read these mundane, That just has to be three panels about anything.

Yeah. There's so many of them that aren't even funny like the Doonesbury stuff. I wonder if we could find like a plot synopsis of one of these. We should.

Break them down. Did you ever watch soap operas? Did you ever find yourself in middle school and summer? Oz. The prison soap opera. I watch a shit ton of Oz. You're talking about soap operas, like Guiding Light,

As the World Turns, that kind of shit. Entourage, right? I watched the Entourage. Yes. You still watch the Entourage? It's ending tonight. Final season, bro. Is this the final season?

Don't be a bro-tar, dude. It's the final season. Guys, I have a bro-tar. Come on. We got a bro-tar for Vinny Chase. No, I was just going to see if anybody else had ever watched because they're extremely bizarre did you used to watch them there was a summer where my my sister was watching them and I and I would I pretty frequently you say your sister do you mean you know I mean my

sister was watching them yeah you do that all the time when you say my sister yeah it's pretty confusing. My sister totally killed last night. High tops. My sister is on her period. It's disgusting. That could be another go-to for Dan the Man. That time of the month, ladies. Somebody's riding the crimson wave.

Mother-in-law is better. Look out, here comes the mother-in-law. I could have some fat woman chasing me around the stage with a rolling pin. You should work in late 80s technology as well if you can. Because I think there were some things in the late 80s that seemed cutting edge. I wish I knew more about the late 80s. Mike, let's hang out and you can tell me about the late 80s.

What do you want to know? Whatever you remember. I remember the late 80s quite well, actually. I was a pretty wasted man. The civil rights era. The civil rights era. I remember the wall coming down and the whales trapped in the ice. The black versus white wall.

The girl falling down the well. Arsenio Hall had to broadcast from the back of the bus. Arsenio Hall fell down a well. I remember... He was fucked up. Were you a big Arsenio Hall fan? That was the guy with the long fingers, right? Yeah, that was his thing.

He'd always come out like... Whoa! He was interesting to watch because... Has anyone here ever seen Deaf Comedy Jam? Do you remember those? Yeah, of course. He had that same audience. So there was always...

The exact same audience? Hence, seemed similar. Like really, like black people are so joyous. Like, white people are, to me in general, were pretty. Right. You ever notice how white people do this? And black people enjoy life? I never saw a deaf comedy jam, though.

It was amazing how excited black people were about comedy. And white guys are like, my existential guilt is killing me. So that was the first thing about Arsenio that struck me was his audience. White guys are like, my existential guilt is killing me. That was the first thing about Arsenio that struck me was his audience. He had Clinton. He was so excited about him. He had Clinton play the sax. Clinton played the sax. Yeah, I remember that.

It was a big part of him getting elected. He played the sax. He also had Vanilla Ice on his show once. And he became president after Clinton. Yeah. Vanilla Ice did? President Van Winkle. Vanilla Ice, W. Bush.

That's why we have the highway system now. Vanilla Ice. Vanille? Yeah, Vanille. Vanille. Vanille. That's why all of our stop signs are also followed by collaborate and listen signs. Good.

On the highways. Well done. Vanilla Ice. Well done. Plagiarist. That plagiarist, You can't fool us. What year were you born? 87.

87. 1987? No. 2087. Whoa. No. Yeah, 1987. What year were you born, Josh?

I was born 1986. What year were you adorned in? I was adorned in Harvard. You know what that means. Get out the panels. Come and get me, boys. I'm fast. adorned in I was adorned in the basement in Harvard in 1980 come and get me boys I'm fast fruit brute

you're chasing me it's the fruit brute look out boys I think Mike should play the fruit brute in this show he comes out I'll play the fruit brute

but we have to do a version of smear the queer do you remember that yeah I do remember I'll throw a football at you that's what happened with Matthew Shepard, wasn't it?

Who? Matthew Shepard. Laramie Project. The original fruit boot. Well, he died at the hands of what would you call it? Boys. Biggles. What's the term? Murderer? What's the politically correct way to say this?

Hate murderers. He died from boys. Boys hurt him really badly. Oh, that's mean boys. That is sad. Rest in peace. Well, I think we should have talked about Matthew Shepard earlier when we were talking about the Holocaust and the faces of death. And Grand Prix. The tragic events of the Grand Prix.

Willpower. Why? Why did he have to win? Well, right. Yeah. So I'm excited. So when is the show going on? Tuesday, October 4th. Tuesday, October 4th

or October 4th? What did I say? I think you said October 4th. That sounds about right. Rocktober 4th? Will you be keeping the name the same or or will you change it to reflect the... To Chuckle Hut? To reflect the feud? No, to reflect the absence of your counter part.

I'll have, like, a subtitle or a tagline, maybe like... Chuckle Torn. I was thinking... What do you guys think about this? Chuckle Storm. Chuckle Storm. Chuckle Storm when the cat's away, dot, dot, dot. You're being serious, right?

Yeah. Okay, that works. And if I was kidding? If you weren't good, I wasn't kidding. But I can give you great. All right, go ahead. Chuckle scorned. Scorned like S-C-O-R-N, like apostrophe D, like punked.

Chuckle punked. Like, I've been punked into not having a comedy partner. And then he comes out at the very end. Oh, with a bunch of cameras. Then he points at the cameras. Yeah. I like that. Speaking of which, I have an idea for a hidden camera show.

Tell me what you guys think of this. It's better. So basically, somebody contacts you to prank their friend, and then you have the whole thing set up. And then you say, come on out. And the friend comes out and says, you've been bailed. We decided not to do the prank. So it's basically like... I like it, but what if you dropped a bale of hay on them? Boo!

What if the friend was wearing a giant sombrero? Ooh, or even better, what if it's people that think they're going to prison, and then you bail them out at the last second, and you pay their bail money, and then you say you've been bailed? People that, like, are guilty of what they've done? second and you pay their bail money and then you say you've been bailed people that like are on their way are guilty of what they've done what if what if what if that for society what if the

friend is riding on one of them old timey bikes with the big wheel what's that called hilarious my idea for hidden camera show would be like the lamest hidden camera show ever like there's a knock at your door and you go to answer and there's no one there and then everybody comes out and they're like oh we got you but they come out like from like another room inside the house like they've all been waiting there uh then benjamin's baby pranks yes It's kind of the same idea. It's John Benjamin. The idea is that it's a prank show, but because the baby is a baby, it obviously doesn't understand that it's been pranked.

So the humor is the shot of the baby. That's pretty funny. I don't think that's exactly the same idea, though. It's vaguely similar in that the prank has no effect on the person being pranked. I can't believe you guys didn't like my idea. I stopped listening after a couple of sentences. We prank the person who came to us to prank their friend.

By not doing the prank. Can't we pull a better prank on the prankster? No, I don't want to. Why not turn the tables completely? There's something hilarious about setting up this whole thing and then not doing anything and just pranking the... Yeah, that's pretty funny. Hey, come on out. Yeah, we're pranking you.

We're not doing your prank. So the person comes to you and you're like, we want to help you do a prank on your friend. Right. And then the whole time, though, you're working it in reverse. You're going to do the prank on the guy who's coming to you to do the prank on the friend. Does the prank the friend know, the other person? I got to think about that. I'm thinking no. I'm thinking, like, that person doesn't know either.

Are you worried that you'll only be able to do one episode, though? Because once people know about the prank... Ooh, that's true. Or you might be able to get one season on, like, Spike TV or something. How did, like, after a few seasons of a show, do people not, like...

They do. That's why they can't do Borat anymore. And Jackasses. That's true. Tom Green had to start going out into, like, rural Arkansas and stuff. Yeah. Did you ever see MTV's Boiling Point? Yes.

It's actually fairly brilliant. That should have been great. It was a famous... It was okay here and there, but maybe they dropped the ball on it. But the premise to me was just... Somebody famous. Nothing makes me laugh harder than if you're at the bank or at a restaurant and you're watching someone get really freaked out and pissed off about bad service.

That is always a unique experience. When somebody flips out in public, that is always a memorable experience it's almost always funny occasionally it will go a little further until scary territories or violence but most people restrain themselves enough to the point where it doesn't get right yeah usually it's just just hilarious there was somebody famous on boiling points like like one of the pranksters well you could do your thing on the boiling point concept and have the person be boiler pointed. Boiler appointed. Pull out a gun.

On the person who thinks that they're doing the prank on them. Oh, I see. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good reverse prank. Anything? There's somebody like really famous that was on that show. No? I'm working on it.

I was on the first Wikipedia page that popped up was actual actual boiling points like the science page for things when they boil made it so music television a young and then unknown stephanie german at age 19 better known as lady gaga appeared as a contestant in the 2005 episode of Boiling Points. Lady Gaga. How was her boiling point? Lady Gaga. In the episode, Germanada and two other contestants would be awarded $100 if they went 14 minutes without cursing or making a scene in a New York City restaurant

when a waitress threw away their food upon request, returned it with trash on top. Okay. See, that's not, you know. Germanotta was the only contestant on the segment to lose when she used profanity one minute and 27 seconds prior to the end of the challenge. I mean, she was just born that way, you know. Boom. Lady Gaga joke. Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap.

Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. She told the waitress, who would put that in their mouth? Would you put that in your mouth? It has shit all over it. Clearly you would because you're just like fucked up. Oh my God.

Wow, that's kind of mean. And all these gays buy her records after what she said. About waiters. Yeah, I was kind of mean. And all these gays buy her records after what she said. About waiters. Yeah, it was fucked up. It was a gay waiter, too. I was like, would you put that in your mind? Who's the most hostile person here tonight?

The gays, the Mexicans, Jewish people. I think you said coloreds earlier. I'm going to give that one to Josh. Don't you think BMWAC, BMWAC. But you said it in such a perfect context. The United Negro Pizza Fund. You used coloreds in the best way possible. In the sweetest way possible.

The way the coloreds would appreciate you saying it. The NWACP. What happened to your... Whatever, Ku Klux Alex. Sorry, KKA. KKA. If the NWACP really cares about the advancement of colored people, maybe you should stop referring to yourself as colored people. What's wrong with colored people?

Everybody else stopped doing that 50 years ago. I don't have a problem with the term colored, but I'm not colored. As far as I'm concerned, I love that term. I love Negro. I think that's a good term, too. Do you use that commonly? Absolutely. Sure.

Everywhere I go. Every staff member. Every other word is Negro. Every bartender at Autobar. Pardon me, Negro. Negro, I would need a... Negro here would like it. We need to stock up on the Yingling.

I should probably say Bo, so you guys can get some kind of sponsorship. So what's going on at the Autobar, Mike? So is it racist? The Autobar? To stereotype Like using words Kuklux Klan hut KKK hut

People KKK hut? Yeah It's like a pizza hut I mean, because we know We understand that we're kidding about it What? Wait a Wait, what The second I thought you said We understand that we're king No're kidding about it. What? Wait a second.

Wait, what? The second I thought you said, do we understand that we're king? No, kidding about it. Whitey is all powerful. Whitey is king. We agree. You're saying what we're talking about, we know that it's not really racist. We know that it's a joke.

Like, in theory, none of us are actual practicing racists. In theory. Or improvising racists. The whole Tracy Morgan thing. You know about the whole Tracy Morgan thing that happened? The gay thing? Yeah, where he said he'd stab his son. I don't get what the big deal is.

About stabbing your son in the face or him saying it. He's joking. He's Tracy Morgan. I don't know what it was. I get more offended by other jokes than that. And everybody knows Tracy Morgan's insane. I don't know where it was. More screwed up stuff. I get more offended by other jokes than that. Yeah. And everybody knows Tracy Morgan's insane.

It's not like it was Obama that said it or a politician. It's a comedian that said it. You don't know what happened? He got out of his way to show that he's not homophobic. Tracy Morgan said if his kid were gay, he would stab him. Right. He went on this anti-gay. But it was in the context of a longer joke?

Yeah, it was like a rant. If my kid's gay, I'll stab him. Ah, and that's it. He was talking about how he would be miserable if his kid talked like a gay, quote unquote. Feminine. Right. And he was like, don't talk like that. I'm going to stab my, I would stab my boy in the face or something like that. Okay.

Do you think that that could really happen? Do you think he could really do that? I think that Tracy Morgan specifically? Mm-hmm. I don't know. So you think it's possible if he had a gay kid, he'd possibly stab? Not stab, but he could hit him. Okay.

Just for being gay? Yeah. I think there's plenty of parents that are violently opposed to their children being gay. Yeah, I agree. It's the minority, but... But does that mean that all of them... I'm only... I'm... I'm only... Guys, I'm

only not gay because my parents hit me when I said I was gay. Yeah. Mine made me read... That was last week. That was last week. No, I really... I think it's possible. I think, like, if you're going that far... Did he apologize? Yeah. Yes. He got with, like... Profusely. I was satisfied with his... I think if you're going that far. Did he apologize? Yeah. Yes.

He got with like. Profusely. I was satisfied with this. I feel like he was joking. If he stood by it, I'd have a problem with it. But I think that there's bad taste, which is what he exhibited by telling, quote unquote, a joke in the context of hurting a child for being gay. But if he apologized, then what's the problem? I mean, I'm not sure he even needs to really apologize. I think he would have to apologize.

For what, though? So much of the other stuff that's out there. Because it potentially says, if you consider a comedian person of example or an athlete or whatever, you do have to fix that. Incubus.

Incubus. Incubus.us that dog's gonna destroy um yeah she'll so are you thinking of it from like a consequence point of view i can smell racist thoughts i feel like her nose is going there are people out there that could take that message in the worst possible way mike look behind you so okay i can see that so you think celebrities should be like mindful of joking about things because there are people who and it goes back to if it's done in a clever humorous way right you can get away with it but clearly this doesn't sound like right it worked out that way at all Kat Williams went on like an anti-Mexican rant who did? Cat Williams yeah

the four foot pimp yeah what was the Colin was it Colin Quinn or someone like or no Greg Giraldo who I thought was

one of the greatest comedians ever I got to see him twice live and um but what was he talking about like standing on

god what the fuck was it is this at the roast? yeah yeah ah fuck man I can't remember the lines. I thought his roast stuff was really good. He's incredible.

He's talking about standing on phone books to slap his whore. Oh, yeah. Yeah. His whore. That's about right. Yeah. Something like that. Did you guys like Greg Geraldo?

I loved Greg Geraldo. I can't remember who he is. I know the name. He did the roast again, the Comedy Central roast. He was famous for those. Why don't we do roasts around here? Last comic standing. We've done them

at a bar, at the auto bar, but typically it's when employees are leaving. Oh yeah, you told me about that. Everyone will like write up shit.

I'm surprised that's not more of a podcast. But there's no one famous here. Yeah, I know, but like local people could roast other local people.

Yeah. I would like that better. The roasts are funny, but none of those people, like the Charlie Sheen ones coming out, it's like none of Charlie Sheen's friends that are roasting him. They're getting worse and worse.

It's like, here's a train wreck that we can all easily make fun of. And it's like, I watched the David Hasselhoff one. I almost felt bad. I mean, he's just a punching bag for these people he's never met, you know? Didn't like the situation to his roast? Yeah. He performed, and he was so horrendously bad. I've never seen somebody bomb on those

roasts before. I know, it'll laugh at anything. Yeah, that was unbelievable. Norm Macdonald bombed at the Bob Saget one. It was Bruce Valanche. I'm glad you guys respected him enough to say his entire name every time. Bruce Valanche.

Mike the Situation. Mike the Situation. We the situation. The sitch. You have the close personal relationships where you can call him the sitch. Give me the deets on the sitch. I used deets in my text to you tonight. Oh, yeah? Deets. Did you pick that up from me?

Is that what you're telling me? I use that sometimes. I think my niece did it, and then I copied it from her. Yeah, my sister does it. Your niece is ahead of the game. What is she, 11? Yeah, how do you know that? Is that true? Yeah.

Wow. She says deets. You're disgusting. 11-year-old say deets? You've been on her Facebook page. How else would I stalk her and not get caught? Yeah, and not get caught. Do you guys think we're using the term stalking too loosely these days?

Will you stalk me on Facebook? You think it would be like the boy who cries wolf? Like, oh my god, I'm being stalked. Oh, it's everybody does it. It's okay. No big deal. Another good one? I kind of stole that

from a conversation that I had last night. He's fessing up. Another comedian? Yeah. Well, no, not someone on stage, but just someone I was conversing with. I couldn't quite remember which one of us was making, but I think he had the gold in that conversation that you guys got to experience. See if you can buy it from him.

Is that worth saying on stage? Yeah. What is it? I don't to experience them. See if you can buy it from them. Is that worth saying on stage? Yeah. What is it? I don't even remember now. I don't remember. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Stocking, yeah.

It was about cutting the cheese, I think. Silk stockings. Have you ever cut the cheese while you were stocking something? It goes with the white beater bit. Oh, awkward. Right? Can I have, like, a fart-o-meter on stage? Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

Like, spicy Mexican food. That dog cut, cut, cut, cut. Spicy Mexican food. Atomic bomb. She's trying to be sexy for you guys. Wow. Oh, she smells. She smells something. Your dog is adorable. Wow. You're just saying that

because the mics are recording things you say. I wouldn't say if that wasn't being recorded. I have to leave. Oh, look at her. Yeah, look at her. What time? It's 1213 now. You're just saying that because we can't read your thoughts.

Yeah. We're going to try to pitch this as a daytime thing. Yeah. It's going to be The View. The View of Podcast. The New View. The Talk, you mean? The View 2.

The Talk 2? He wants to call it The New View. The Talk, you mean? The View 2. The Talk 2? He wants to call it The New View. I'm going to call it The View 2. That's why there's no name yet. View 2. Photos or Tootsies? What? Is that a bad reference?

Bringing up some genocide. Let's leave the gen aside. Mike, are you making gagging motions? He loves gagging himself. You got some carrot cake back there? Early in this conversation, my crown moved. What was it? The civil rights reenactment?

I didn't know you were wearing a crown. Huh? I didn't notice you were wearing a crown. It's all the way back here. He's a king. Moved. All right. Well, should we wrap up the old podcast? It's been a pleasure. Thank you for having me. Alright, well, should we wrap up the old

podcast? It's been a pleasure. Thank you for having me. No, no, no, no. That's not how we ended here. We're going to take a break and then we'll come back to say our goodbyes. Okay, great. I hope this doesn't take long. No. And we're back.

Alright, now we're going to do 25 minutes of quiet meditation while we reflect on what we learned in this podcast. Yoga. Uh-oh. Did someone cut the Gs? Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. All right. Well, thanks for cut, cut, cut, cut. Alright, well, thanks for coming into my basement, guys.

Thank you. Thank you for having me. I think John Wayne Gacy was fond of that expression as well. Thanks for coming to my basement, boys. I don't think John Wayne Gacy talks like... He's doing the gay thing for Gacy. Just because he's a John Wayne Gacy talks like... He's doing the gay thing for Gacy. Just because he's a... Gay for Gacy. That's the new juice for Jesus. A gay for Gacy.

Also, I'd like to point out, in the TV movie, Brian Dennehy, a very masculine man, played John Wayne Gacy. How do you know so much about John Wayne Gacy? He's a fan. I'm a product of my era. John Wayne Gacy. My era was fascinated with serial killers. I want to record, on record, Mike Bowen is gay for Gacy. Sorry? Mike Bowen is gay for Gacy. My era was fascinated with serial killers. I want to on record, Mike Bowen is gay for Gacy. Sorry?

Mike Bowen is gay for Gacy. You should make a t-shirt that says gay for Gacy. Wear it on the Chubbler Storm night. Gay for Gacy. God, I would make fortunes. Dan should dress up as John Wayne Gacy. Multiple fortunes. Multiple.

Multiple fortunes. You think I'd make a fortune? No, no. Multiple fortunes. Well, thanks, guys. Yeah. Thank you guys for coming. Thank you, Josh. Thank you, Mike. Thank you. It's been an immense pleasure. thank you guys for coming thank you josh thank you mike thank you it's been an immense pleasure alex thank you mike a pleasure of sorts thank you

before i can't wait to listen to this thank you if we have any listeners besides the people that actually recorded this we thank you for making it an hour and 48 minutes in. Wow. Boom! Not bad. We did it. Not bad. Nice. All right. Goodbye.

Well, this is Mike Moran signing out. Oh, you can get it. Good night. Good night and good luck. All right. The interview is over. Well, not just yet. We got to make Alex happy.

Let's make him so happy. I would be so happy if you took the time to make it sound like I said the Holocaust didn't happen. Let's talk more about Alex Berslowski. Alex, do you want to tell us a little bit about yourself? Yeah. I'm Alex. Four years young. I'm Alex. Berslowski.

Alex Berslowski. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't Alex. Berslopski. Alex Berslopski. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. I'm Alex. Berslopski. Alex Berslopski.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. I'm Alex.

Berslopski. Alex Berslopski. Let's talk more about Alex. Berslopski. Alex Berslopski. I'm Alex. The Holocaust didn't happen. The Holocaust didn't happen. Alex Perslopski. Let's talk more about Alex. Perslopski. Alex Perslopski. I'm Alex. The Holocaust in Heaven.

The Holocaust in Heaven. The Holocaust in Heaven. I'm Alex. The Holocaust in Heaven. Alex Perslopski. The Holocaust in Heaven. The Holocaust in Heaven. The Holocaust in Heaven.

The Holocaust in Heaven. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Holocaust in Heaven. The Holocaust in Heaven. The Holocaust in Heaven. The Holocaust in Heaven.

The Holocaust don't happen I'm Alex Perslopsky Alex Perslopsky I actually don't think that the Holocaust happened.