The Digression Sessions - Ep. 52 - Dan Friedman

Episode Date: October 8, 2012

Hola Digheads! We have the hilarious Dan Friedman on the show this week! Josh and Dan will be co-hosting CHUCKLESTORM: LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW EDITION on Tuesday October 9, 2012 at the Ottobar in Baltimore, Md. COME ON OUT! We're flipping things on their head. Alex Braslavsky can't make this Chucklestorm or podcast because he's having his spine removed, so Dan's hosting solo and we're going late night style, with a live house band!Featuring comedians BRANDON WARDELL + MICKEY FREELAND, filmmaker CHRIS LAMARTINA, performer PERTH O'DUIBHDIORMA and movie critic SEAN VAN HORNER.$5, 18+, FRIENDS WELCOME.Check out www.chucklestorm.com for more info and to join our mailing list! Have something to say about this ep? Or do you have anything else Digression Sessions related / unrelated to say? Should we start distributing powerpoints with every pod?! DigressionSessions.com !! PLEASE rate, subscribe, and provide a nice comment on the iTunes!! It’ll help the podcast climb the charts! Follow us on the Twitters:  @DigSeshPod @BetterRobotJosh @MichaelMoran10

Have you ever heard anybody do that, like sing the testing part? Test, test! Like the roadie that's trying to get the singer job. Hey now, test the one and two! Pearl Jim's testing. Test the one! How's the center microphone? What about the backup singer?

Alright, there isn't one yet. No, there really should. All right. Let's start this show. Let us start it. Say what? Mm-mm-mm. Wookiee, wookiee back.

Snippy, snippy, snope. Welcome to the Digression Sessions podcast, everybody. Hi, everybody. No, just hi. Don't finish my sentences for me. Oh, okay. Sorry. Josh and I are so close that we finish each other's milkshakes. Yes, we do. I am one half of your favorite pair of earbuds. Josh Camouflage Coderna.

Sitting to my right, Mike the Matador of Madness Moran. Oh, that's awesome. Can we just say it for now? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, we got a quick ep here. We are joined by the magnanimous, the allergic to dog-imus, the shake-in-his-head yes-imus, the unshaven, the hilarious, Mr. Dan Friedman. Oh, he just ran away, you guys.

He's gone. And he took the spoon. And he jumped over the moon. And I'm back. Okay, cool. Thanks for coming back. Isn't this called Dan and Cal? Isn't that how the story goes?

It is if you want to insult someone. Well, that's my nickname, Dan to Cal Friedman. Dan to Cal. To Cal. Yeah, so he's like, to catch your catchphrase. Boo. And you know I was all like, boo. You guys see the debate last night? Boo.

That should be, if you're a rapper, that should be like your signature holler. Yeah. Boo. Boo. On the track. Boo. Boo. Yeah, so we just want to get our plugs out up front It's a new thing we're doing on the show, Dan

Plugs first Plugs Plugs first Plug first, tug later Plug and tug That's the digressant The old Tennessee plug and tug My grandfather taught me that

Smart man Grandpa Moran Mike, do you have any shows coming up? Do I have any shows coming up? Uh-huh My father taught me that. Smart man. He was. Grandpa Moran. Mike, do you have any shows coming up? Do I have any shows coming up? Uh-huh. Well, I do have a doctor's appointment. I'll be doing a tight five in the waiting room.

Oprah Magazine? O Magazine? Does she have to be on the cover every time? Am I right, people? I don't think I have anything coming up. We do have the big Joshua Pimikescape-a-palooza. Whoa! Coming up.

Saturday the 13th at the Hour House Studios on North Avenue and the street with the bridge. The artsy bridge. Howard Street. Yeah. The street with the bridge. Park at Loads of Fun and be there.

The festivities start at 7. There will be music. There will be comedy. There will be improv. And there will be love. There will be blood. Screening. And there will be a blood.

But come on out. It's going to be a really good time. There will be bloods. The gang. There will be crips. There will be bloods the gang there will be crips there will be bloods there will be crips it's gonna be a mess uh but yeah that's at our house like uh h-o-u-r yes like time everybody i keep telling about the show i'm like it's at our house like so you and mike live together it's like burton ernie do you have beds with your names on them yeah we have bunk beds but no it's not gonna be at our house right it's like burton ernie do you have beds with your names on them yeah we have bunk beds but no it's not gonna be at our house right it's gonna be at our house yeah well you take baths together

like burton as well yeah how else am i supposed to get my back clean i know but come on out we'll be out there late if you're doing something else that night come out after we'll be out there for a while it's going to be a really good time we're're celebrating me and Josh's and Mike Colligan's birthdays. Woo! And also, I think we're going to try to raise money for a victims of human trafficking cause. Okay. All right. Be there or be somewhere else. I have an improv show that night as well around the corner, which I'm trying to get in there as well, but I might just

skip that so we can do the show. We'll figure it out. We'll see how it goes. If you can run down there and come back. I think I might be able to. Double duty. Dan, I think you have something to plug. Double duty to Cal Dan.

I've got a few shows coming up. Oh, shit. This Tuesday, October 9th, it's Chuckle Storm. But it's not Chuckle Storm. What? It's a talk show. Whoa. You just contradicted yourself.

Hey, tell me more about this. I'm going to be hosting Solo. When the Alex cat is away. Alex is away. The boys will play Damn right We're going to play Scrabble on stage all night All night, that's it

It's a Scrabble tournament It's going to be sick as hell Scrabble storm No, it's I'm hosting my good friend Josh over here It's going to be the Paul Schaefer to my Letterman The Richter to my O'Brien That's the only ones.

The Sundance to your Butch Cassidy. Sundance to my film festival. Can I be your Kevin to your Jay Leno? The black guy who used to have a guitar and just laugh at everything. I mean, he's not as cool, but yeah. Is he not on there anymore? No, I think he quit. Where'd he go?

I don't know. I think he has a band. Probably. That he tours with. I don't know. I think he has a band. Probably. That he tours with. I don't know. But we're going to have a house band there. Speaking of bands.

We're going to have Mickey Freeland on. Yep. Brandon Wardell. Yep. Chris LaMartina. What? Who just got his money for his Kickstarter. Uh-huh. Call Girl of Cthulhu.

Yeah. Like, what was it? $25,000? Yeah. Lots of money. Absolutely. And Perth Odweeb Hediorma. I'm pretty sure that's how you pronounce it.

It sounded good. Yeah. And it's going to be a hell of a time. It's going to be one hell of a time. What, $5 to get in? $5 to get in. Auto bar. Auto bar.

Here in Baltimore on the street with the bridge. A little bit past the bridge. A little past the bridge. The show's going down Tuesday, October 9th. Yes. So fucking A. So come to our shows, everybody.

I got another show. Can I, do I get two plugs? Go ahead. All right, wonderful. November 10th, myself and my girlfriend, Jessie, will be performing a puppet piece

we're working on at the Black Cherry Puppet Theater. Puppet piece. It's a part of the Apocalypse Puppet Slam with Kevin Sherry. Wow.

Yeah. That sounds fun. Mm-hmm. Oh, shit. Moo. All right. Yeah. So everybody check out those shows, digressionsessions.com.

Keep the ratings coming on iTunes because we really appreciate it. Five stars, y'all. Five stars. Five stars, y'all. Mm-hmm. And follow us on Twitter at ZigSeshPod. Follow me at BetterRobotJosh. And follow Mike Moran and Michael Moran10.

There it is. Dan, are you on the Twitters? I don't mess with the Twitters. You don't mess with the Twitters. He's on the book, y'all. Find him on the book. Yeah. On the book.

Book. Book. So, Dan, what's been going on? What is up? What's going on with you, man? Seriously, what the fuck? There's a reason why we asked you here. Answer recorded. I'm in school still.

I'm a school boy. How's school going? You're going to graduate soon? I'm going to in the spring. Besides pussy. Pussy's my primary major. Theater is my secondary major Right

After the pussy As it normally goes Right If you're majoring in pussy There's a good chance You gotta major in theater also You have to Right

Yeah Yeah Because you gotta balance it out I think it's more that If you major in theater You have to balance in pussy You have to balance it with pussy Because

Right I think they're working on Like a pussy theater Interdisciplinary major Pussy theater Yeah Wow Taking puppetry to a new level.

Yeah. Pussy puppets. Pussy puppets. The Kit Kat Club. There's a bunch of pussy puppets? There is penis puppetry. Have you ever heard of this? I saw it once

on an episode of Real Sex on HBO. Yeah. It's like guys doing puppetry with their penis. And a lot of people would go to see it. I remember seeing that

on Real Sex too. Do they have boners? No. I'm pretty sure it's flaccid pupp to see it. I remember seeing that on Real Estate. Do they have boners? No, I'm pretty sure it's flaccid puppetry. I'm not a fan of flaccid puppetry. Do they have strings on their penises so they go up and down? They take their skin

and they manipulate it like, this one's a hamburger, and they take their balls and wrap them around the shaft and it looks like a burger. Yeah, it's pretty terrifying. Especially for a young Josh trying to masturbate to HBO in the living room. That always was an awkward one. Because they're always like old,

usually older women. Real sex was never good. Yeah, you could get really excited when you would find that one in the TV guy. Right. Like, seniors rediscovering the G-spot. Alright, we'll work through it. Seniors exploring sex swings. And then guys with those weird rediscovering the G-spot. Alright, we'll work through it. Seniors exploring sex swings.

Then guys with those weird not puppets, but the full-scale models of women. Oh, like the real dolls? I kind of wanted one of those. How sweet would that be? One of those guys, not one of those. Just a guy to be making you the real dolls all day.

So yeah, school's going good. No more real sex. Just a guy to be making you the real dolls all day. Yeah. So, yeah. So, school's going good. It is. No more real sex. No more. You're not neglecting your studies? I've seen every episode.

Never. I'm good. I'm all right. Let's make some real sex prequels. I've heard they've thought about going back and touching up the old real sexes with CGI. Yeah. Like what? Like CGI penises?

Like avatars. Do I look like I'm producing this film? I don't fucking know. You got the inside track here. You got the knowledge. You're going to have to wait for the final product. Okay. All right.

So what are you going to do with your theater major, Dan? I don't know. What are you going to do with your pussy major? Oh, I know. Oh, I know. I don't know. I'm not really interested in pursuing

professional actor lifestyle like a lot of people are. Like going out and auditioning for big equity things. Your Brad Pitt's. Yeah, I'm not into that. Right.

I'd love to start my own company. Sarah Michelle Gellar's. What would you do with your own company? Just make one. Wow. Have a company.

A theater company? Right, yeah. Or like a company that manufactures gloves or Wow. Have a company. A theater company? Right, yeah. Or like a company that manufactures gloves or something. Or real dolls. A theater company that manufactures gloves.

Oh, okay. Cool. So what would your dream theater be like? Not the band, but it would have some sick-ass seven, eight-time signatures.

A nine-string bass. And a seven-string bass. Wow. That's it. 16 strings of bass, and I'm happy. I'm good to go. A weird Dream Theater cover band. Just two guys on bass, really long hair.

Okay, so you're going to have your own theater company is what you'd like to do? That would be pretty cool. Okay. What would you call it? Oh, I don't know. Moo Theater. Pussy Theater. Moo Pussy Theater.

Moo Pussy. I'm trying to get Moo Pussy in this theater. Moo. I like it. I like it. I like it. I love it. I want some more of it.

What about the Players Club? You call it that I like it. I like it. I love it. I want some more. What about the Players Club? You call it that? Players Club. You put it next to the Pussycat Bar on that street. Absolutely. That I drove through today. Absolutely. What were you doing on that street?

Driving. That's it. That's all I did. Okay. Didn't even look. Closed my eyes and drove. I can just masturbate to the marquees, honestly. To the neon signs and the bouncers. I've seen them do it. I just masturbate to the marquees, honestly. To like the neon signs and the bouncers.

I've seen him do it. I'll masturbate to the bouncers outside the club. With your hand on his shoulder. Almost done. Be cool, man. And just the stuff that they write on the marquees. Topless women. $6 cover.

Just the idea makes me finish. Only $6. I'll usually just go around the block four or five times and I'm good. You jog while you do it? Well, I used to before I got a car. I'd carry a box. I would just walk and I'd put on my fake UPS uniform. You've seen it.

It's very slimming. I would have a fake arm. It's simple. It's like a mannequin's arm. Hey, how are you? I have this giant arm sticking out. It's completely maché. Paper maché.

Hello. I'm a normal man. I am here to deliver a box. I work for the UPS. Sorry. Sorry, I thought I saw a spider. And Eddie, oh, wait. All right, but I'm out of here, seriously. So would you write your own productions and put those on in this theater, sir?

I do like devising. You make pieces without a script. You kind of like ensemble everybody together. We're going to make something new. I see. Have you done that before? Kind of, yeah. Doing it now at a show at school. At the UMBC.

UMBC. I've heard of it. University of Maryland, Baltimore County. That's right. Gold and Ret retrievers. What a terrible like, not a slogan. 7-Eleven. It's at the 7-Eleven.

Jill says that at work. Really? It's my nurse. Girl I work with says it like that. Anyway. Yeah, there's a huge... That's the last time she'll say it anyway. Kind of hard to say

7-Eleven when your tongue is tied up in a ditch. You're just going to tie your tongue to a ditch? I'm going to tear it out and tie a bow around it. And then mail it to her once it's rotted in the ditch a little bit. That's nice. I'm just kidding. You could deliver it to her through the UVS. That's true. Or the DHL little bit. That's nice. I'm just kidding. You could deliver a tour through the UVS.

That's true. Or the DHL. FedEx. FedEx? FedEx. That doesn't really work. Federal Express. What was I going to say? Oh, the Retriever.

It's such a terrible mascot. There's a huge bronze, just golden retriever right when you walk into the campus at UMBC. It's such a terrible mascot. There's a huge bronze, just golden Retriever right when you walk into the campus at UMBC. His name is True Grit. Oh, that's his name? That's the name of the Retriever. Since when? Since I've known it.

They were paid by the Weinstein Company or whoever produced it to name their dog True Grit. The next Jeff Daniels movie that comes out, we're naming it after that that movie it happened to be true grit it was this close to being tron legacy it used to be no country for old men whoa that's too long for a dog's name so we changed it to true grit it works but yeah it's just the most non-threatening thing ever for a mascot what about the raven well i guess that's kind of threatening, but not in a football kind of way. It's like ominous. Ravens are ominous.

Yeah, they're all black. But golden retrievers are just like these dogs you love. Yeah, and they'll do anything for you. Like, you dropped that. I'll go get it. You dropped it again. I'll go get it. I'll still go get it.

Okay. Okay, so putting on your own plays is what you would like to do. Yeah, yeah. Your own theater company in Baltimore? I think it's a good place to start. There's a lot of opportunity, you know. Have you always been a fan of the theater?

Not until I started. I didn't start getting into theater until college. Really? Yeah. I wasn't. Like a lot of people that are theater majors are like, did it in high school. Did like Bye Bye Birdie and all those terrible, terrible plays. You're not going to do Bye Bye Birdie?

That's actually the first play I'm going to do. Oh, wow. What about You Can't Take It With You? What about it? Anything from the 1920s. Hello, Dolly. All right. A lot of plays from that era.

Yeah, a lot. It's too many. Not much to do. Well, there was also like, you know, that was the case for like all of time before then, too. Not much to do. You had the rape and pillage. What else was there? Two favorite hobbies.

Enough with the raping and the pillaging already. What else am I supposed to do? Hashtag renaissance. So when did you meet Alex? Let's do the Chuckle Storm origin story. Let's go through that. This is a good one. Chuckle Storm is a monthly comedy show at the Auto Bar here in Baltimore.

That's right. It's what, two years? It was two years in July. Or June. So it's almost two and a half now. Wow. Yeah. Hey.

Oh, yeah. There it is. That's the one. So, yeah. What is the genesis of you and Alex Proslavsky? Fun fact before we start. Here we go. Fun fact time.

Fun fact. Fun fact. Fun fact. Fun fact before we start. Here we go. Fun fact time. Fun fact. Fun fact. Fun fact. Fun fact. Fun fact. Say it. Alex and I went to high school together. Wait for it.

Wait for it. We didn't know each other in high school. Oh, my. This is weird. That's a weird fun fact. True grit. True. And that was weird fun fact. True grit. True. And that was the fun fact segment.

You never talked once is what you're telling me. Yeah, we were two years apart in high school. He's two years older than I am. Is it because you knew he was uncircumcised? Yes. Did you? Yes. Did you ever see him in the shower?

No, it was more like this rumor that spread around school. A true rumor that Alex was uncircumcised. Really? I heard it my first day of freshman year, and then from then on I said, I'd never speak to this man in my life. That's what they said at orientation. The principal was like, hello. It was in the slam book.

Welcome to Franklin High School. Before we begin, I just want to let you know, Alex Brozlovsky uncircumcised. I prepared a PowerPoint on the issue. Here we go. We dim the lights. Alex, please come in. Drop trowel. Yeah.

Did you guys have to take group showers in high school? No. Yeah, me neither. I didn't. But I've heard of people having to do that. I love that when people say stuff like that, you can tell that it happened to them. Just like, hey, man, did you?

It's happened to me once. This guy was talking about his past relationship and it didn't work out and uh he's like yeah you know i mean have you guys ever cheated on anyone we're like no no he's like me either yeah you did yeah you did But no, no group showers We had to change in front of each other It was a weird algebra class Hey, no But you had to keep on your boxers You didn't have to

It wasn't a rule I guess if you wore boxers Your mom insisted that you changed underwear for gym class. It's like when little boys go to the urinals and they pull their pants all the way down. All the way down. You must take your boxers all the way off. Or when people sit down to poop and they pull their pants all the way down. What?

What? What? Everybody. Alex Brovlovsky. Just putting your pants down in front of the urinal. That's one of the most disgusting things you can probably do. I just thought of that. There's piss all over that ground.

And little kids are just putting. Well, that's what you do when you take a poop, isn't it? They don't. But it's worse. I mean, have you ever seen an adult do that, honestly? No. I'm going to start doing that. I think there's less piss around Like a regular toilet though

Like when you're shitting There's not a lot of like spray But when you've got a urinal I would say there's more spray on the ground Because there's less of a Well I mean yeah you're right When you like drop a deuce And then like a tidal wave comes out of the toilet

Like How big are your shits? I think like in like public restrooms That are restrooms that have a lot of people in them. Believe it or not, Josh, people are peeing in the poop ones. No, they're not. Yes, they are. Get out of here. Not just when they're pooping.

You're messing with me. And it's less of a barrier. I mean, you're shooting a smaller target. Some guys leave the seat down, so then there's pee all over the seat. That's the worst. I've never heard of this. I don't think you guys are telling the truth. What do you guys do when that happens? If I can, I find another stall. I usually just bring my own

seat. Yeah, just unscrew the one that's on there and screw yours on. I'll only be a minute. Those flashlights on your forehead. What about when you don't know that there's pee on the seat and you sit down? No regrets. Just keep going.

No. You just got accepted. Urine is sterile. It's also urine, though. It's more psychological than anything. What? It's more psychological than anything, isn't it? Urine is psychological.

It is. I just don't want some guy's pee on my butt. It's okay. Some guy, but it could be a guy. You just don't want to be a stranger. What if it was like

Barack Obama's pee? Would you be okay with that? Do you think the Secret Service didn't have to go into the crapper with him? Yes. So they're like right there

while he's pooping? Probably not in the stall with him. Maybe they are. That'd be fun if they were. That'd be a real crap job. Yeah, I think they do. Secret servicemen.

Yeah, I'd imagine they'd have to. Or they'd guard the door, at least. Right. Stand in front of it. I don't know. That could be a weak spot for an assassin. You've got one of them talabans up in the roof, up in the ceiling. All through the ceiling.

It's not like he can only poop in his own secure White House bathroom all the time. He's out in public all the time. What if he did have the motorcade, though? He was somewhere in D.C. and he's like, I've got to take a huge shit. Round everybody up. I'm going home. All the Secret Service men carry Ziplocs with them. They hold it underneath his ass. Do you think the Secret Service men carry Ziplocs with them. They hold it underneath

of his ass. Do you think the Secret Service men ever just lose the president? Like, oh, crap, guys. He was right here. That sneaky bastard. Always getting away from us. Gotcha. I was hiding. Like he's some five-year-old. They have

one of those cords for him. Oh, and your hand's all sticky. What did you get into? What if they had a leash for him? That's what I just said. One of those cords for them Oh, and your hand's all sticky What did you get into? What if they had a leash for it? That's what I just said One of those child cords Very funny, Dan Oh, a child cord I usually call that a leash

What's my child cord for my dog? Yeah, let's see if you call it a leash When you actually have to use one on your child I want the Barack cord Barack cord Barack cord Barack cord bomber So you guys didn't know each other Right, we didn't know each other in high school I don't want the Barack cord. Barack cord. Barack cord. Barack cord bomber.

So you guys didn't know each other. Right. We didn't know each other in high school. And then you're at UMBC. That's weird because Josh and I didn't know each other in high school either. No, but we did not attend the same high school. Yeah, and we weren't in high school at the same time. No.

No. That makes a little more sense. We didn't live anywhere near each other. But continue. Same stage. So you met at UMBC. We did. We did. I had a friend

who I started rooming with and he's actually kind of got me into theater. He's actually going to be at the next Chuckle Storm. Really? He's kind of like our intern

slash feature person. Sean Lada. Sean Lada. I know him. Good kid. I roomed with him for about a year there. Let me ask you this.

Were you guys okay with being nude in front of each other in the dorm? No. Okay. Continue. Mike's writing that down. Whoa. He's playing footsie down here.

Me neither. Me neither. Tell me more about your relationship. Sean pretty much got me into theater, and Alex is part of that group. Right. So Alex was a theater kid. You brought the pussy to theater. That's right.

Before it was just theater. I actually made the pussy major. Wow. Talked to the dean. You're like the Van Wilder of UMBC. Yeah, the Dan Wilder. The Van Wildest. Moo!

Have you considered calling yourself Dan Wilder? No, but I do now. Very good. I like it. Yeah. So, and then you guys became bros. Yeah, we became hardcore bros. Okay. And we went to, I think we went with Umar to, he was going to do an open mic at NADS.

Justin Jones used to run an open mic there. Oh, I remember NADS. Yeah. So, we went with Umar to do it. And Alex and I had been talking for a while about this idea for a set. And we get there and Justin is like, Hey, I'll give you some free drinks if you guys perform. And we're like, All right, well, let's just do it.

Because there were like 10 people there, if that. And so we got up and did our first set ever. And it went pretty well for what it was. What did you guys do? It was pretty much like Alex was pretending he's been doing it. He's been in the industry for a while, and he's bringing me up on stage. It's my first time. He's going to help me through this. He's hyping you up.

Yeah, and so I was like a nervous wreck. I kind of have this meltdown in the middle of the set, and have a freakout. And then I don't even remember how it all went, but it's a fun set. I think I had this huge ream of papers that I would take up as if it were my jokes. And then I think the freakout happened when I dropped all of them. This was like when you go to Staples and you buy your printer paper.

It was that amount of paper. Like 250 sheets. Yeah. And I dropped all of them, and they got out of order, and I have this meltdown. How many times did you perform there? I think I remember seeing you guys there. We maybe did it two or three times. We didn't do it too often.

Remember it became Singers? Yeah, Singers. And then Uncle Dave took over from Justin. Right. And we did it like two or three times, I think. Cool. Yeah. And so from there, you guys are performing together

and then you say let's put on a show together yeah alex was like doing some skit stuff with people at the auto bar oh yeah yeah there were some online videos yeah was he part of djs yeah yeah yeah he was uh yeah i think he was oh yeah that's what it was called and uh so then he had like the little you know he had the, the connection all up in the pinkie thumb connection. And he was like, hey, do you guys do you ever have comedy nights? And they're like, no. And he's like, no. Why would they say it like that?

No. Why would you think that? No. And he asked him like, hey, do you want to start one? He was like, yeah, sure. So the first thing we ever did there was before Chuckle Storm, we did like a chat roulette night where we set up like a projection screen and a laptop. And people could just come up and do chat roulette. And the event was called A Penis in Your Face Invitational. Very nice.

Very nice. And Alex kind of handled the laptop while I had this giant piece of poster board. And every time we saw a penis, would draw a penis right did you guys talk to the penis people yeah we like it was yeah everyone could see and hear the people that were on right how was their reaction to i mean could they see like the audience do they know what was going on i think so yeah that must have been really jarring because normally it's like it's like a person in the room but then you just see this room full of people at a music club. All looking and laughing at their dick.

Dick tallying. So what was the react? Did they talk back to you? Sometimes, but I feel like chat roulette is mostly skipping. Mostly people just like nexting. No, but I mean the penis ones. No, because it's usually just someone jerking off. And they just keep clicking.

They keep clicking next. So they were rejecting you. Yeah. We didn't reject anyone. I like that the guy masturbating in front of strangers is like, gross. Next. Where are the boobs? Oh, come on.

So from there. From there we were like, all right, let's try our hand at a stand-up night. People masturbating on their webcams. It led to a night of stand-up comedy. Sure. So we had our first one in June of 2010. And I'm trying to think who we had. I think we had Stavros perform.

It was all local people, but it went pretty well and like it was the first two shows are probably our most well attended shows because it's like all our friends are like whoa you're doing a show at the auto bar and now it's like okay well i'll try and make it out like good good for you um yeah and you guys host a show and do like bits and bits yeah we do like uh we do like skits in between but it's usually like stand-up comedy no it's like skits disguised as stand-up comedy you know it starts out right yeah yeah right um so how much time do you have to devote to writing for each month uh we used to devote a lot more time than we do now now it's kind of like we meet up or we'll just like text

back and forth ideas we get and then meet up like uh or skype like a couple nights before the show and kind of throw it together but um we used to do we used to like get together and write a lot more than we do now yeah it's a lot of work i know i couldn't imagine writing that much material i know we used to talk about that saying like how like crazy it is that we do write new material every single month yeah it is yeah it's impressive so i mean and we have is that we do write new material every single month yeah it is yeah so i mean and we have bits that we reuse every now and then like but with new like content edited but yeah um yeah we've gotten more lax about it just because we realized we don't need to be so

like it doesn't need to be so scripted or right we've we've left a lot more up to like riffing and improvising now which is fun too like yeah with the audience and stuff yeah yeah so i'm excited i don't i won't be able to fill alex's red uh dolphin shorts but i will keep them warm for him yeah i'm excited that's good should be a lot of fun yeah i love chocolate store it's one of my favorite yeah it's a good time it's a it's always a good vibe in the room so yeah this one's gonna be be different it's gonna going to be talk show format. Yeah, instead of, like, I mean, there will be stand-up comedians, but it's more like a talk show where they'll do their set time of comedy

and then talk for a bit, you know. So are you going to be on stage the entire time? Yeah. Like at the desk? Mm-hmm. Cool. Or, like, a fold-up table, probably, with, like, a tablecloth over it. Is there going to be a couch?

They do have, like, those red couches that we usually have in the audience and i was thinking to bring them on stage right like should i be on that like andy richter style yeah probably like two separate chairs maybe i don't know i've been thinking about how to set the stage up because it's not that big and there's like a giant post you know right oh yeah right that's true what's the best way to set it up but yeah yeah i mean i want to like after someone performs and they sit and like do their interview i want to keep them on stage and just see how many people we can fit on the stage yeah we can do that we can just set up like uh a longer like table like sort of like the picnic table style just have a bunch of people up there one time i saw a band there and they insisted that everyone come on stage with them everyone for the entire for their

entire set i went to see the live Eric Andre show, and it was so fun. There was a moment where there's kind of a lull, and he's like, and our next guest is you, everybody on the fucking stage. And then you just felt this push behind you of a wave. It's like, this is pretty fucking dangerous. And they're shooting this nasty liquid.

I don't know what it was. What? But when Hannibal Buress brought him up, this is pretty fucking dangerous. And they're like shooting this nasty, like liquid. I don't know what it was, but when Eric Andre came to like, when Hannibal Buress brought him up, Eric Andre came from the back of the room and just like pushed everybody over. It was like throwing elbows. And he had this two liter that was full of, I don't know. I think it was Amanda and I were trying to decipher what it was,

but it smelled like a little bit like alcohol, a little bit like vomit, some urine in there. And he was like tossing it everywhere and and pushing people over, getting on the stage. He jumped on his desk and smashed it, of course. It was crazy. And they were shooting glitter everywhere. It was fun.

It was a lot of fun. You can expect much of the same at Jungle Storm on Tuesday. Exactly. Exactly. All right. Well, Dan, thanks for joining us. This will be a quick ep. Quick ep.

We got to do some writing for this show. Oh, we do. We got a lot of stuff. It's very put together already. And it won't take no... Sorry. Edit that. All right.

Well, thank you for joining us, Dan. I'm sure you'll be back in some capacity. I'd love to. Thank you, Dan. You're a wonderful man. Dan, the wonderful man. You got a good plan. Thanks.

Maybe we can bathe in sand. Script. Even though you endorse the philosophy of Ayn Rand, I still think that you're from Pakistan. In your diet, not enough bran. Favorite actor? Jackie Gleason. Gleason.

All right. Thanks, everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry about that Freestyle Dan, can you freestyle? No

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