The Digression Sessions - Ep. 64 - Jenn Wasner & Mickey Freeland

Episode Date: February 18, 2013

- Save Those Tears for the Doughnuts! - Hola Digheads! This week, Mike and Josh have the pleasure of chatting with Mickey Freeland and Jen Wasner of Wye Oak!   Jenn and Andy Stack formed the indie rock outfit Wye Oak in 2006. They quickly garnered respect in Baltimore and beyond. The AV Club deemed their album “Civilian” the best album of 2011. And in support of that album they embarked on a world tour for over a year, playing more than 200 shows in 2011 alone.   The grind of a world tour seems to have left Jenn burnt out. She blames her bowels.  But, while she’s home, she’s still writing jammy jams. Jenn’s new poppy project, Dungeonesse, will be out May 14 via Secretly Canadian.   Mickey, a damn fantastic musician in his own right, also contributes to Jenn’s “Flock of Dimes” project. Mickey’s an excellent rapper and beat maker. Check out Mickey’s awesome solo album, “The Last of the Tight Wiggers,” which is available for 5 bones at mickeyfreemusic.com!   We also discuss the XFL (RIP), Monute Bol invented the phrase “My bad,” ButterMusic Girls, Beyonce, being depressed, quippin hard, loving puns, Jenn doesn’t want to talk about her therapist, and so much more!   PLEASE rate, subscribe, and provide a nice comment on the iTunes!! It’ll help the podcast climb the charts!   Follow us on Twitter! @DigSeshPod @BetterRobotJosh @MichaelMoran10 @FlockOfDimes @MickeyMistakes   WANT TO LOOK FLY AS HELL IN A FREE DIGRESSION SESSIONS SHIRT? EMAIL JOSH – [e-mail]

Hey, hey, hey. Oh, hey. Didn't see you there. Welcome to the Digression Sessions podcast, everybody. I am one half of your favorite pair of earbuds, Josh Coderna.

The other half of your favorite pair of earbuds, my co-host, my confidant, my co-pilot when Jesus calls out sick is Mr. Mike Moran. And on this week's program, we're joined by two very funny and very talented people. We were very lucky to have them on the podcast. Mr. Mickey Freeland and Jen Wozner of Wy-Oak, Flock of Dimes, Dungeonees, and NFL rule book singing acclaim.

And this episode was a lot of fun, despite it starting off with three-fourths of the room stating how depressed they were. The depressing sessions, am I right? Am I right, people? But no, it ended up being a really fun podcast we talk about everything from the xfl um to minute bowl and then we successfully predicted the outcome of the super bowl that's right this episode is recorded a couple weeks ago and god damn it we fucking nailed it we did it we did it but if you want want to check out Mickey online and check out his album, The Last of the Tight Wiggers at mickeyfreemusic.com, you should goddamn well do it. Of course, you can find Jen at wyokemusic.com.

All the Flock of Dimes stuff, I believe, is on Spotify and SoundCloud. And? And Dungeonees has an album coming out May 14th. Also, you can find Jen online on the Twitter, at Flock of Dimes. Of course, the podcast is at Dig Sesh Pod. I am at Better Robot Josh. Mike Moran is at Michael Moran 10. And that's almost it for the plugs, but we got a couple shows coming up.

I will be doing stand-up this Wednesday, February 20th at a place called RERA in D.C. And I'm really excited about that. Quick guest spot. And then I'll be in Austin for this weekend. I think it's the 22nd through the 24th for the Improv Wins Festival. It should be fucking awesome. I'm really excited about that. And then February 28th, Michael Moran and I will be doing an improv show.

It's an improv stand-up crossover show where the stand-up sets influence the improv that we do at the Strand Theater, February 28th in Baltimore. So check that out. And yeah, let's get into the episode. It was goddamn fun. Oh yeah, also we have free Digression Sessions t-shirts. So tweet at DigSeshPod or at BetterRobotJosh and we'll give you a free fucking shirt free stuff holy shit now let's hear uh let's let's hear some nfl rules to the uh the tune of faith hill's sunday night football song by uh by jen wasner let's hear it shall we Shall we? We'll be right back. We've got some rules, so just sit back and listen while I sing it to you. Football is played on a hundred-yard field. The goal of each team is to advance the ball to the end of the field,

which is called the end zone. This is called a touchdown, and it's worth six points. Offense has a series of four opportunities to defend the ball 10 yards down the field. What's the achievement? This is a comedy podcast? Yep. Yeah. Oh, shit.

I'm not funny. Oh, Mickey. Mickey, what have you done? You didn't tell me. I just assumed. I said that you had some really funny looking tits. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's what we talk about on this show too, though really funny looking tits. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's what we talk about on this show too though. Funny looking tits.

Let's talk funny looking tits, huh? No, they wanted me to. These guys were like, cool music. Let's get you guys. I didn't say that. That's how we worded it. I didn't say that.

That's not true. We were both heavily medicated at the time. He sent me. Wait, can I curse in the podcast? No. So I gotta hear these drops. The Christian podcast? This is...

Just mine. That's like half of my vocabulary. Yeah, is that cool? And then... With what? Not cursing. Oh, no, you can curse. Yeah!

Just don't take the Lord's name in the band Hi Hello So I can say whatever I want As long as it's pro-American Okay That's cool I'm from America

Okay good I think I can sing that I would be nervous I've never done something like this As long as it's pro-American. Okay. That's cool. I'm from America. Okay, good. I think I can sing that. I've never done something like this where I could actually curse. Usually I have to be like... Really? Okay, I'm just going to sit here. Yeah, usually it's like... What kind of podcasts?

Well, usually it's on the radio. Oh, okay. The shitty radio. The one that... You know, the radio is one of our biggest listeners. If you cannot speak poorly of the radio... Sorry, the radio. The radio. Bill, the radio Thompson. I'm sorry, the radio is one of our biggest listeners. If you cannot speak poorly of the radio. Sorry, the radio. The radio.

Bill, the radio Thompson. I'm sorry, the radio. Check, check, check, check, check. The radio. All right. Mickey Free, what have you done? You're going to blow my perfect image. My sweet, nice girl image.

I'm not going to do anything to blow your image. What are you doing in my purse? You're going to turn from Britney Spears 2000 to Britney Spears 2008. Oh, man. Oh, no. Have you done a podcast before? No, man. I've just done the radio.

Oh. I mean. Welcome to the big time. This is more fun because I don't have to be like eliminating all of my favorite words to say. Yeah. Fuck words. I don't have to pretend i'm somebody i'm not

which is nice okay i sat perfectly still this entire time just so as not i can hear you guys are sitting right here so yeah it's not i mean i can hear you from your mouth what i've dropped your own mouth Whoa, whoa, whoa. That was better, right? Huh? No, we had a fifth one. It's all good. A little bit, yeah. It's all good. Yep. It's all good. It's all good. It's all good.

It's all good. It's all good. It's all good. It's all good. We're just going to do this for 45 minutes. It's all good. Yeah. It's all good.

It's just like the music I listen to. Yeah? Yeah, pretty much. It's all good. Who's that saying it's all good? It came with the music I listen to. Yeah? Yeah, pretty much. It's all good. Who's that saying it's all good? It came with the Korg. Ooh. We paid a voice artist $5,000 to come in one day.

It came with the Korg. Do you remember the band in Vogue? Yeah, of course. Well, she was not part of that. But she kind of sounded like one. She's one of the fly girls just like the song says it's all good it's all good it's funny that mc hammer coined that phrase post stardom he did yeah he had a song when he tried to make a gangster comeback.

He had a song called It's All Good. And that's where that pop culture phenomenon came from. And it wasn't a very popular song. In fact, I think it was kind of a bomb. Were people not really saying that beforehand? Absolutely not. That's when I found out Manute Bull invented the phrase My Bad. Really?

Yeah. That is what I've heard. Is that true? Yeah, that's the... But it's true. That is what I've heard. Is that true? Yeah, that's true. I mean, I'm no... But didn't My Bad evolve from My Fault? I think that's what

he was trying to... Yeah, but you know... So he was standing on the shoulders of... Of something that... Of other giants. Standing on the shoulders of calves.

George Mirajan. Yeah. The other tall basketball player. Yeah. He was in a movie with Chris Floyd. Called My Giant, I believe. Yeah. shoulders and calves george mirajan yeah the other tall basketball player called my giant i believe weren't they both on the bullets at one point billy crystal and that guy yeah yeah he was a great center billy crystal could kill it on the court in the paint well hey mickey freeland and jim wasner welcome to the podcast. I thought this was called Depression Sessions and I feel like I was being misled.

No, we're going to talk all about depression. Me and Mike are sad. I'm really sad. Okay. And I don't know why you guys asked me. Who's on what medications? Mickey could talk about that for a while. Yeah, I can. Sometimes he gives me some of his medications. I don't want

anyone else asking. Yeah, I know. Sorry, Mick. I'm blowing up your spot. It's okay. Apologize. My spot always gets blown. It's all good.

I'm sorry. You shouldn't have put me here with the buttons. It's all good. I like the button. Whoa, what was that one? Oh, yeah. This is so cool. It's like future.

You should get like the sounds from one of those spinny things that's like, the cow goes moo. Yeah. The Aggression Sessions podcast goes, it's all good. I'll just have some babies on, bring their baby toys. Okay. And then it'll be, it's all good. Yeah.

It's good. It's good. All right. Well, hey, guys. Hi. So everybody's depressed? Seasonal depression? Oh, yeah. Who here is dead inside? Let me hear guys. Hi. So everybody's depressed? Seasonal depression? Oh, yeah.

Or is it just... Who here is dead inside? Let me hear you. Yeah. I think for me it's just that I'm 30. Oh. Depression. Okay.

That's pathetic. That's it. It is pathetic. You're so pathetic. You had the worst birthday ever. No, my birthday was really nice. When was your birthday? Oh, like six months ago.

Oh, okay. So you're still going through that? So you're 30 and a half. Just really, yeah. He's actually more like 31, really. Yeah. Right. I mean, all the way to 40, really. Yeah. I mean, if six months ago. Oh, okay. So you're still going through that? So you're 30 and a half. Just really, yeah. He's actually more like 31, really. Yeah. Right. I mean, all the way to 40, really.

Yeah, I mean, if you round up. I mean, speaking from like on a long enough timeline, you know, you're pretty much dead. Mickey's been acting 30 since he was like 22. Yeah. So it's cool. Did you also experience that phenomenon of people thinking that you were older when you were like in your early 20s and then now they think you're younger because I do. No, I can see people

thinking you're younger because you just have boyish good looks. People have always thought I was basically younger than I am. I get that too. It's because of your mouth. Could I have an alcoholic beer?

I'm so thirsty. Can you not smoke weed in the room with me? I'm so thirsty. I don't know. Can you not smoke weed in the room with me? I'm afraid I'll get a contact high. That is actually true. Yeah, I had that phobia too, pretty badly. But I've learned that I think it's pretty much impossible to catch a contact high.

Not if you're Mickey Free. Most of the time it's just all appears. Oh my God, did I just get high? Me too. But I don't think it really happens. Sure, I mean, if the smoke's... Yeah, if you're inhaling some of that, yeah, you get a little buzz.

He's living high all the time. Yeah, high on life, right? Jesus Christ, that's why we're all here, right? High on anxiety. Give it up. It's all good. Jesus. Oh yeah, Jesus Christ in the house, y'all.

Yeah, so you don't smoke weed, Mickey? I used to a lot when I was younger, and I haven't really been able to for a couple of years. Been able to? Well, yeah, I put the bong to my mouth and it shattered. How does this work? I don't know what I'm doing. No, it just makes me really paranoid. I would like to be able to smoke weed again.

Yeah. I swear to God, the first time I got stoned, it was awesome. And then every single time after that, it was awful. And yet I did it every day for years. Because it was like heroin. It was nothing. Yeah, I'm so totally over it too, you guys. I don't ever do that.

It's so dumb, right? I don't believe you. I did it yesterday. I did it last night when I had to take a shower for the first time in like four days. I was like, I'll make this tolerable. Wait, for a shower? Are you shower-phobic? No, not shower-phobic. Are you a shower-phobe?

I feel like if you're like a lady, it's like a series of maintenance tasks you have to execute in the shower. Let me ask you this. What is the rock all about? You know how some people have a rock? Oh, it's a pumice stone, bro.

What the hell is going on there? You rub it on your rough spots, and then you make them nice and smooth like a baby. Put them on your feet. Or wherever you have a house. I don't know. To your elbows. If other places are calloused, you can use it there, too. Yeah, right.

It's cool. But I'm just saying, it's a lot of tasks. Guys are just like... And the hot water factor is probably always a problem, isn't it? You've got to get it all done before the hot water runs out. I don't have a problem with that because I have a really nice house. So I'm just saying,

I don't know. I'm just playing. I take long showers. I do have a nice house, it's true. And you have the six shower heads, too. It makes it easier. Yeah, totally. And, you know, the cascading off of the boulders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the waterfall.

Uh-huh. Absolutely. It's nice. Yeah, it's nice. But no, I mean, it's like, it's a lot of work. You know, I got a lot more hair. I have a lot more of a routine. So I don't take, I don't, so I just try and bathe as little as possible.

Right. And, uh. That's a good idea. Yeah, it was a good idea. But yesterday, I, like I smoked a bunch of weed before I got in the shower and then I couldn't bring myself to get out. I hear that.

I have to get out. I can't leave. It's horrible out there. I know that feeling because it's freezing in the bathroom. I've been putting a space heater in the bathroom when I take a shower No, it's good the absolute worst is when in the dead of winter you have to get up at like 6 a.m And you don't really have hot water. I don't do that go to work a

Lot of things Jen doesn't smoke weed. I don't do anything This Mickey like I didn't do anything I I've Mickey tricked me to doing this and I didn't know it was a comedy podcast But I'd really don't I honestly don't do anything. She was gonna be asleep in her oxygen. I was gonna be yeah Don't worry about it. It's all good on the podcast. You don't have to do anything here. We'll just cool. Okay We'll just we'll just go without you like you guys. This is cool. Okay Well, yeah, what have you been up to are you playing music just smoking weed and getting in the shower every now and again pretty much between talking to your roommate's cat yeah i hang out with my roommate's cat and um i have a little studio in my house and i try and make music with

it uh-huh is that flock of dimes yeah it's whatever whatever it turns into really um you know i i most of the flock of dimes the stuff that's become Flock of Dimes is stuff that I've eventually passed on to my man McFree to make it sound like it's actually good. Which is nice.

Just like, make this sound like I know what I'm doing. And he just kind of takes a little. Just rubs it, puts a stink on it. I'll put some reverb on it.

Yeah, you got damn reverbs. Turn on my reverb pedal. AQs. Sure, I'll put reverb all over it Cool Yeah Shoot a couple riffs of reverb All over it Yeah

Pearl necklace of reverb Podcasting from a cave Sure I would not be all good Mesa podcast host Have fun. So, yeah. So you haven't been up to much?

I've been taking a nice, long, extended, confused, distressed break. Sounds good. Yeah. When did it start? I don't know. Forever. Okay. How old am I?

No. I guess I was on tour for a lot of last year. And so I guess it started maybe in November. Did you guys tour all over the world? No. I guess we took, I was on tour for a lot of last year and so I guess it started maybe in November. Did you guys tour all over the world? Yeah. Yeah, I was in trying to prepare for this. I watched a couple interviews you did on YouTube. Oh God, I'm sure they were horrible.

No, they were okay. Just one with a German guy. Oh, why did you watch the German ones, man? I don't know. They were the first one that popped up. Yeah, I downloaded some podcasts and it was in German. That's because you guys did a million interviews

on the European. Yeah, well we've done a million interviews in German. That's because you guys did a million interviews on the European. Yeah, well, we've done a million interviews in general. It's impossible not to repeat yourself and sound like a total dweeb. Right. It seemed like you guys were bored. It would just be such a weird culture shock to me. Like, so when did you form? Why do you do this?

There's always some weird. And then, of course, I don't know if you got this, but all the German stuff, at least the interviews I can remember, they usually ask the questions. They do the whole spiel in German first and then do they have an interpreter there and then they turn around and they I mean it's really impressive actually I couldn't do that I mean they it's really remarkable they'll do their whole radio show in German and then they'll turn around they'll ask you the question in English answer the question in English and then they turn around and they basically repeat what you just said in

German oh yeah they translate you on the spot Which is like that's a culture. Hi. I mean, that's crazy. That's a lot to ask of your your everyday average like radio DJ Yeah to be a translator. Yeah, maybe they'll be a podcaster one day Cast from their office. Yeah Well, they can dream. Yeah a German can dream But yeah before my yeah a German can dream but yeah I don't know Hitler's first book I smell a new apple that was before Mein Kampf yeah

a German can dream a German can dream I like his older stuff yeah but yeah so that's pretty much that's what I do I mean that's

I travel around the world and hate myself and then I come home and hate myself okay cool three quarters of this room just hates themselves yeah

I'm kind of having fun I'm sorry guys you got a nice vest on. Thank you. It feels great. Yeah, I do. I feel pretty good. You look like a happy guy.

I feel pretty good. I'm headed into the weekend, guys. Feels good. Super Bowl on Sunday, right? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Right? Ray Ray.

Oh, my God. It's so on. Oh, my God. I went to the Ravens send-off rally in the Inner Harbor. Yes, I did did You should tell everybody That's it

I love you Oh my god I did it Let's get high There were so many Flames There were just Explosions Really

Yeah yeah yeah They had it all rigged up With some pyro action It was tight Yeah it was really fun Jen is a massive Football fan I am it's true

Are you really I actually really am yeah I'm not I wouldn't go stand In the freezing rain 35 degrees yeah in her Harbor on a Monday are the Ravens your team the Ravens of course some events are my team you kidding me Houston Texans yeah Ravens there wasn't I didn't have a team well my dad's a Giants fan so I would you know I didn't care about the Giants really I mean I cared about them for him on his behalf but I but I don't I didn't really

but you know I mean it's so much I care about my future on my dad's living his dreams but like I don't know I mean I love I love football but you know my I'm born I'm born here my whole family's born and raised from Baltimore you know okay what part of Baltimore well I was born in st. whole family is born and raised from Baltimore. Okay. What part of Baltimore? Well, I was born in St. Agnes Hospital on the west side, and I grew up in Randallstown, which is out Liberty Road-ish. And your dad wasn't a Colts fan?

Well, my dad was from upstate New York, so he married my mom. My mom's side of the family, they're all from here. What about the Stallions? Oh, God, the Stallions. We don't need to go there. Where do you stand on the Baltimore blast? What about your dad? I've, God, the Stallions. We don't need to go there. Where do you stand on the Baltimore blast? I've been to a couple blast games. I've blasted.

Okay. I've blasted in the past. Do you think Baltimore could get an XFL team? I don't think the XFL is real anymore. It doesn't exist. Okay, if you're going to say incendiary things on the podcast, Jen, you better be sure. I don't think the XFL still exists. I'm not saying that that's a good thing.

I mean, bring it back. Yeah, bring back the crazy names they had on the back. Do you remember that? That was XFL's big thing. It was the best that Canadian football had to offer and the meanest prisoners. That's how they sold it. Canadian's best plus prisoners.

The XFL. Was there any XFL-N NFL crossover like were there any any yeah I think there were like X players or people that were like right from the NFL right okay yeah so you know though I didn't really have a team before I didn't have a team before before I mean I like the Colts I guess in theory but I wasn't a lot I was born in 1986 when the Colts left Baltimore so I was zero hey pound it out oh or that white So I was zero. Hey, pound it out. White people. We just failed a pound.

We just failed so hard. What do you mean? 82. You're old, Mickey. God damn, you're old. You guys are both really old. I'm just playing. I'm just playing. You old motherfuckers.

Yeah, y'all's old. Shit. Y'all old. Sorry, I got something. If you were, you wouldn't even. My 30-year-old heart. If you were playing football, you wouldn't even be on the team anymore. I know.

Unless you were Ray Lewis. That's true. Really? How old do people normally get on football teams? Oh, it's very. Well, I mean, Ray Lewis is like a beast. He's considered. He's done it for 17 years.

He's 36 years old. And that is old. That's old as fuck for a football player. Especially for a beast. He's considered, he's done it for 17 years. He's 36 years old. And that is old. That's old as fuck for a football player. Especially for a linebacker. Yeah, for a linebacker. Yeah, kickers can be like 40 years old. But baseball players play so they're like in their 40s. It's baseball.

Have you ever seen a baseball game? It's boring. They're fat. I mean, they're fat men. Yeah, they're old. It's not baseball. It's not golf. Yeah, it's close.

Okay. What usually happens to football players when they're done amounts of pasture if they're alive If they're not paralyzed and they can you know, they still have total. Yeah, they have like it's like looper You know, you know when you're gonna die They have like 20 years before they want to kill themselves because they're so depressed from so many concussions. They shoot themselves in the chest so they can save their brain for science. That's true and really

commendable. I mean, it's crazy, but it's like, wow, you're really taking one last one for the team. Literally for the team. Team player all the way to the end. Sometimes they coach. Yeah. Sometimes they open up restaurants. Restaurants. Or car dealerships. Car dealerships, yeah.

Do they ever become coaches at high schools? Probably not high schools. They could probably do all right at a college level and then maybe get upgraded even. Maybe get promoted to the XFL. One day. Fingers crossed. Or maybe just be a warden at some of the better prisons. Canadian prisons.

Available at better prisons everywhere. I personally would love to see Ray Lewis run for mayor, but maybe that's just me. I think he'd be a great mayor. I think he'd just be a better bishop. He's too religious to be a politician. Maybe he's too religious to be a mayor. But he would be a fantastic coach.

Or one of the castles. Church coach. He'd be a great church coach. Yeah, he's hyping up the congregation. Or one of the castles. He's got your castle. It's good. About to get holy in here.

Yeah. But I think by the time this comes out, the Super Bowl will have happened. And we will have won and we will be celebrating. Way to go, Ravens. Good for you guys. We got this. You did a great job. Thank you for making my childhood dreams come true.

I remember winning the Super Bowl. I remember winning the Super Bowl. I remember winning the Super Bowl in 2001 or 2000. Yeah, yeah. It was great. Yeah, you, yeah. It was great. Jen was the kicker. I was, yeah.

I actually scored the winning field goal for the Ravens. Was that how it went down? Yeah. Did it end with a field goal? I don't believe it. I don't think so. I think they won by a pretty good margin. They won handily.

That's not fun. That's the only time I can tolerate sports is when it's down to the wire and there's like one point to be scored to win. I don't know. With this Super Bowl, I wouldn't mind if they just beat the shit out of the Niners the whole time. Why? Yeah.

Living shit out of the 49ers. Because it gets too tense. I don't know. The last two games. Like the Denver game. I almost had a fucking heart attack. I almost died. I thought the Denver game was over like 19 times.

I cannot remember how people get so emotional about professional sports. Like I just can't I get excited I'm sorry, bro, throw your hands in the air and like hug somebody like I never get excited. Oh, yeah. Okay anything like that Watch it around this guy. I actually agree to a certain extent. I really like the game of football, but my brother Oh, man, your brother fan, right. Well, he's actually not even as a fanatical fan. He's like the biggest football fan that I know, but he knows football in and out. He knows football better than almost any person I know.

Whereas most people are just like, I love beer. He knows football like Josh. Actually, me and Mickey's brother Chris made a football instructional song. Which you guys should certainly put. We'll put it on this episode. I think maybe I saw that or heard it. Something, something football.

I think this girl sent it to me, actually. I didn't know that was you. That was me. That was me and Mickey's brother and another friend of ours. We decided it would be really funny for maybe like four people if we made a song that was. That's so weird. Somebody sent me that like last week, I swear to God.

It's been incredible. Making the rounds. Take that, internet. Yeah, yeah making the rounds take that internet yeah yeah the onion the onion oh yeah it's incredibly informative the onion will spooge

over anything that I yeah AV club so thanks AV club gave you guys album of the year in 2011 didn't they didn't they

they did they did that nerds this guy that was nerds killing it maybe you could talk to them give them me album of the year

I'll see what I can do just something yeah retroactively my friend's a white rapper and he's got a really controversial album title let me tell you what

you guys might want to do we won't want to talk about it yeah so so you should listen to my football song it's pretty tight if you want to know the rules of football

the song is basically it's about it's about 13 minutes maybe 15 minutes long and it's just the rules of football and it's it's about 13 minutes, maybe 15 minutes long, and it's just the rules of football, and it's a bit repetitive. Don't let that stab you. It's part of the fun.

Sure. Yeah, we basically just put the rules of football into the song. But I can say this. I have lots of people, lots of good friends who are not football fans, and they were still entertained. Oh, yeah. Yeah, totally. They were still deeply entertained by the football song.

And some of them were even, you know, touched and moved to maybe put a little bit more time and effort into understanding this beautiful game. I really love the game. And it's like I like to see people get psyched. I just personally can't get. This is just me. Maybe it's because I'm not as much of a fan as like some other people I know. I can't relate to getting like people like breaking shit

or yeah turning cars over riding or being like my like when my season makes me want to scream and shout well these are people who repress their emotions in most of the time and that's all they have to live for not everyone is like I mean I'm invested

I'm invested you know you really know the game you love the team for who they are And that's all they have to live for. And so they're chatting like, not everyone is like that. I mean, I'm invested. I'm invested. I'm pretty invested. But you also, like, you know, you really know the game. You love the team for who they are. Yeah. I'll cry. Wow. I'll cry, but I won't light something on fire.

I'll definitely cry. I cried last year. I cried last year when I kind of missed that kick. Oh, yeah. That was brutal. You did? I cried. I actually cried real actual tears.

And I wasn't the only one either. Yeah, I'm sure you were. I doubt it. I cried. It just blows my mind my mind Also another thing is it's so weird how complex The sport is like you think it's just like This meathead like It's very complex No idea what's going on Well this song is for you

Let me say after you will Walk away with a much A much greater understanding of the nuance And appreciation dare I say and I'm proud of that song because your brother and I pretty much wrote that thing from our own brains we didn't use the internet

it was just stuff we knew about football a bible's worth of rules we didn't touch on everything it fades out at like minute 15 I mean I can only keep it together for so long I mean honestly we did it all in an afternoon so and i you know it's a lot of a lot of pretending to be um faith hill for one for one gal i know what that's like yeah it's hard it's tough we've all been big shoes we all can

relate to that big shoes you're not alone you know what i mean yeah i get into i i love watching football like on sunday i get really excited about it, but on Monday, I'm not like, what the fuck was that? Why don't they get their shit together? I am. You can't control it. I don't give a shit on Monday. I give more of a shit than is fair to myself. I wish I cared.

I wish I could get that happy about something like that. Because so many of my friends are serious football fans, I do wish that I was more stoked on it. Maybe you just need to try. Maybe just get into it. I usually work on Sundays, so I can't. That's tough, yeah.

But I work at a restaurant where everybody's too cool to care about football. Except the employees. Or customers. Except for the employees, yeah. Or customers sometimes. Even hipsters are into football. That is true. That is a big phenomenon.

Everyone's into it. Yeah, I know. It's shocking. If you put time and effort and energy into understanding the game of football, the rewards will... Yeah, the game is rad. The more you put into it, the more you get out of it. It looks so good, too.

Like, HD-wise, it just looks great. It's like Big Brothers Big Sisters. Yeah, the more you put in, the more you get out. Exactly. The more you invest in understanding the strategy and everything, the more fun it is to watch yeah yeah and it's it's it's it's great i mean i i was a hater i mean i you know i was a hater and early on in my life i was like i feel like i still kind of believed in those boundaries where it was like well either you're an artsy kid or you're an athletic kid that's it yeah sports are stupid yeah and now you had to you

had to pick a side and that and then of course i was a nerd and yeah um in theater and play music so i went with the anti anti-athletic side but now i realize that you weren't gay yeah and i realized and now i can i can do your hair out a little bit yeah yeah got rid of that bowl cut yeah uh sort of uh now yeah now i can i've realized that there's there's no reason i need Yeah. Yeah. Got rid of that bowl cut. Yeah. Sort of. Now, yeah. Now I can, I've realized that there's, there's no reason I need to limit myself and what I can enjoy. That is true. Right.

And just cause I can't, I'm not an athlete personally doesn't mean that I can't appreciate. Sure. Appreciate someone else's prowess. Yeah. Like me. I have tremendous athletic prowess. Cool. I respect that.

And I can still get into it. Actually, I'm not coordinated at all. I'm awful at sports. Yeah. I'm really the worst. In fact, my'm not coordinated at all. I'm awful at sports. Yeah, I'm really the worst. In fact, my stepdad was an All-American lacrosse player. I remember as a kid, he would get so frustrated with me. That's awesome.

Your stepdad was the worst. Yeah. I didn't know that. I want to help your stepdad. Hey, I'll get him on the horn. But yeah, I just remember being like, I was like 11. We're playing basketball. I'm like, do you think that I could be good at basketball?

He's like, no, you're really bad. I'm like, thanks, Dad. That's brutal. He's like do you think that I could be good at basketball he's like nah you're really bad I'm like thanks dad he's like you would need to practice a lot you have no athletic ability I was like how do I put this

you are great bad great I gotta go in a few minutes guys god damn it I know I know

hold your weeping where are you going I gotta go to work that's weak just call out bro where you work at paper moon oh yeah oh yeah Hold your weeping. Where are you going? I got to go to work. That's weak. Just call out, bro. Where you work at?

Paper Moon. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I went there late night for Hot Fudge Sunday. Not Hot Fudge Sunday. My friend said the words Hot Fudge Sunday is the next thing you know. We were at Paper Moon at 1130. Come on in. Yeah, it was bad.

They do hold the milkshake down. Yeah. They do a pretty good milkshake. So do I. I've mastered the milkshake, FYI. You what? FYI, if you come in when I'm working, mastered the milkshake, FYI. You what? If you come in when I'm working, I will milkshake your world. Yeah?

I'm ready for that. I will milkshake the milkshake out of you. Mike's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Indeed it does. Yeah, it does. A good day to milkshake. Ah? That's, that's, that's.

Live free or milkshake. Yeah. That's what I like to say. That's why you got those bumper stickers made to say that. You still haven't sold many of those. Milk shake it up, baby. Yeah. It's why you got those bumper stickers made to say that. You still haven't sold many of those. Shake it up, baby. It's alright. You're going to move some someday. I think $35

is a fair asking price. It's thick vinyl. Yeah, like six feet wide. If you put that puppy on there, that'll last you a good two and a half years. That ain't going nowhere. Bumper stickers eventually fade and look trashy on cars except yours they look great last forever right right it's not like cold november rain

exactly well is that where you guys met because i know you work at golden west mickey it actually is where it is where we met we met at golden West. No, like seven years ago, something like that? Yeah. Jesus Christ. It was funny because I knew Andy, Jen's bandmate from high school. I didn't know they had a band, and it was really funny. Jen was like, yeah, I'm in a band, and Jen was really awesome. And then I remember going to see them, and I was like, oh, they're pretty good.

And I got the record, and it was just like very quickly like, wow, this really is. Terrible. No, it was great. I know Jen still isn't. I know Jen's not psyched on her first album. But I'm still psyched. I like her less than I did. What is Andy doing with his life?

Is what you said. Yeah. No, I was just like, you know, her body is off the chain. But just the music. This is newpa Starfish. Don't you hate that? Butter music, girls? Everything's great.

Butter music. That is rad. Yeah. Butter music. That's just like so bass. It's awesome. That is. It's like the most immature thing.

Dude, butter music. Well, I remember you were really kind when you autographed your record for me when you came out with your record and you autographed your record for me and you said

to Jen you are so talented for a woman despite all the best maybe for you tiny brain good for you

you are so talented you underline so you said the same thing when you signed mine. That's boilerplate for Mickey. Just hating on women. Sorry. I couldn't.

It's been like five minutes. Yeah, that's true. Bring it back. Couldn't let it slide. Apologize. Yeah, we used to have this on every podcast. Then it just got lazy. It's pretty tight.

Seriously, just you have it for the drops. Yeah, well, and some beats. I use it for when I make tunes. Music jams. What? Remember we actually had skits too? Yeah, well, and some beats. I use it for when I make tunes. Music jams. What? Music jams. Remember we actually had skits at one point too. Yeah, and then that took time for us to get together and write stuff.

We were wearing ball necklaces and JNCOs. Let's write some sketches. Yeah, we were doing it all for the Nucky. From what I recall. Yeah. 99 was pretty crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

99 was pretty crazy. 99 was pretty crazy. I want to go back. You guys are making me want to go back. I can't go back. I remember being upset I couldn't go to Woodstock. I was like, Limp Bizkit, Rage Against the Machine. That was the one with the riot. I remember being young and being like,

this shit is shameless. It's so disgusting. I thought it was cool. It seems like something and being like, this shit is shameless. It's so disgusting. I thought it was cool. It seems like something you would like, Mickey. I mean, you like corn and shit. I do like corn. Still? Yeah.

Well, I don't like bump corn. Here's my Mickey impression. You ready? I like. Corn is tight. That's my Mickey impression. I like that you don't bump corn. You drive around at a low volume.

You're like, this is pretty good Kord is tight me and my brother that's actually very accurate me and my brother kind of have the same musical taste where it's just like there's almost nothing that I can't get down with like something

I'm just like with Kord I'm like the bass sounds crazy it's like all like trippy like fuck. Yeah, I like that So yeah, you're not discriminating. No, I like even when Mickey doesn't like something I like he can appreciate the things he likes about it Yeah, yeah, there's definitely things that I you know, don't like it all but I can still be like I understand this Right. I could see how I can't like I definitely can't fuck with like bare naked ladies Smash mouth Wow, they're both gonna be on the show next week I definitely can't fuck with bare naked ladies. Can't fuck with Smash Mouth. Wow, they're both going to be on the show next week. We'll just tell them not to listen to this episode.

Don't tell them. Yeah, no, no, no. I'm not going to let them know. Dude, this white rapper from Baltimore is not in your feeling, you guys. No, please don't. I heard somebody blaring Smash Mouth the other day while I was pumping gas. It was so strange. It was that Walking on the Sun song.

Do you remember that? Salon was listening to that for real? Yeah. Or maybe it was ironically. I don't know. That seems unlikely. I bet there's still Salon mention it on the regular on iTunes. Put away the crack.

Do you think anybody gave up drugs because of that song? Yeah, put away the crack before the crack puts you away. Thanks, Smash Mouth. Is that a line? Put away the crack before the crack puts you away Put away the crack before the crack balls put you away. I don't remember that balls Let me try it with less emphasis Question mark balls balls Balls. Balls. Let me try it with less emphasis. Balls? Question mark?

Balls? Balls. Somebody, yeah, there's a really funny version of that song, All Stars, the acapella version. It's so funny. That sounds great. Just to hear him by himself. I'm going to look that up after this. It's pretty funny.

I really am. David Lee Ross acapella is really good. Yeah, that's classic. That's the original. Yeah, yeah. Smash Mouth is a close second on that one. But, yeah. Balls. Yeah. So, anyway, Balls. That's the original. Yeah, yeah. Smash Mouth is a close second on that one. But, yeah. Balls.

Yeah. So, anyway, Balls. It's all good. It's all good. It's all good. Mike's got to go. Bye, Mike Moran. Have fun at work.

Thank you. Nice to meet you. You too. Thank you so much for coming by. My pleasure. Good to see you. I'm going to click on a little bit of you too. Yeah, come on.

And enjoy the rest of your podcast. Thank you. I'm having fun so far. Yes. We're just about to get to the Mike Moran bashing section of the episode too wait a minute oh just kidding buddy have a good night good seeing you

this is Mike Moran I'll be seeing you America good luck and good night god I hope America doesn't hear this oh they will. Oh, Jesus. The whole world, too.

Later. Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming by. Thank you. Hey, Mike Quincy. Oh, you guys. Just kidding. Down low.

I don't know why you guys treat each other bad like this. Oh, my God. That just happened. Oh, boy. Too slow indeed. We told you it was a comedy podcast. Yeah. You guys got all the hits.

Wait, is that right now? No. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what I would do if I were you. No, I'm good. Thanks.

Oh, yeah. Mike keeps pressing Oreos on people. I'm not going to lie to you. When I saw the box, I thought it said double slut. No, thanks. Double slut Oreos. I actually have a box of double sluts in my basement. Yeah?

I know. It's like a coffin size. Is it the chocolate kind or the vanilla kind? Like the rotting kind. Oh. That's not funny. That's just sad. I'm just depressed now.

More depressed than when we started? It's a toss up. Okay. Kind of hovering. Hard to say. All right. Let's try to get more depressing. Yeah.

I'm all about it. How about this weather? It's cold. Right? Oh my God. It's cold. This wind blows. So windy.

I don't like it. Yeah. I also don't like it. Great. Let's move on um how do you guys feel about mike wearing his crocs whoa you rock you work in the kitchen no oh because it doesn't even work in the kitchen and you're still wearing crocs yeah but all right okay do you walk like you're doing a jig all the time though

okay do you usually tuck your pants into your socks? Or is that just for Jen is that that's? Just saying I mean I was just a serious question. There's just a question Good luck. It's cold. It's really cold. Good luck. Yeah, it is cold. Are you walking to work? Good good deal. Fuck. Yeah Car down the street. Yeah. Hell. Yeah, that. Good deal. Fuck yeah. Cat speed. Car down the street. Fuck yeah. Hell yeah, dude.

Cat speed. Shit yeah. Shit yeah. Oh yeah. Shit oh yeah. Oh yeah. Mickey, did you steal his cracked eye touch? No.

I have an iPhone with Siri. Really? I don't need that Stone Age Barney Rubble shit. Barney Rubble uses a first gen eye touch, you fucking loser. I really don't know, man. Nobody here knows. It just got up and walked away. You guys aren't going to keep track of my possessions. Is it downstairs, buddy?

No, I have it up here. This is good pot, by the way. Let's all look for Mike's eye touch. This is some heady pod. This is a weekly thing that we do. Good, good pod. You like that coaster? Yeah, can I make it into a necklace?

Sure. Cool. I made it with my bare hands. You did not. You're a liar. You're right. Okay. I used my feet.

Ah, that's even more impressive. I know. Take that, Daniel Day-Lewis. I smell a lot of editing coming on. Really? You smell that? As you eat into the microphone. Nom, nom, nom. Nom, nom, nom, nom.

Let's all act like we're coming back from a funny joke. Black people, right? Anyways. Black people, right? Anyways. I know, right? I tell ya. Just can't get enough. So, Mickey, what are you doing musically?

I'm strategically not laughing. I was the sink of a career. If the A.V. Club finds out I hate black people, I'm doomed. It's all over, man. I'm doomed. So, Mickey, you hate black people, right? I don't want to say I hate them. Strong dislike.

Yeah. I just want to say it's like they're not me. Yeah. And I would just say I hate black people, but I also hate all white people that aren't me. Yeah. That's true. He just hates people that aren't Mickey Free. I'm cool with poles, which is weird.

I don't really consider poles white, but... Right, right, right. That's why you never tell any Polish jokes either. Yeah, because it's just offensive and weird. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. So, yeah, what are you doing musically, Mickey?

Not a lot either, aside from... Well, Jen, we've been taking a little break and working on stuff. We're getting back in the game now. Yeah, we're been taking a little break on working on stuff. We're getting back in the game now. Yeah, we're getting back in the game. But mostly over the last year, spent most of the stuff that I've been doing has been with Jen on Flock of Dimes stuff.

Usually for free. Usually, actually. Mickey free, right? I will say this. The most money I have ever made in music, I got from Jen. Oh, wow. She gave me a very generous check.

That is really sad. From one of the releases. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. No, I'm playing with you, Mickey. You know I'm playing with you. But it is sad, but it was still awesome. Yeah.

And more to come. She hooked a brother. More paper to come. Yeah, getting paid to do the stuff that you like is fucking rad. It was rad. He's good at it, man. He deserves to get paid more than I do. But that's not the way. I don't think that's

quite true. Jen's one of my biggest supporters. Well, you guys went on tour, right? We did. It was fun. Briefly, we did. It was the first and only Flock of Dimes tour. Flock of Dimes is more like my whatever the hell I want it to be at the time. It's a liquid asset.

Rotating cast of characters. Yeah, it's whatever I want it to be at the time. It's a liquid asset. It's a liquid asset. Uh-huh. Rotating cast of characters. Yeah, it's whatever I want it to be or not be. Okay. But we did go on tour. It was really fun. We had a great time. Where'd you guys go? We went north and south, east and west.

Okay. I forget where we went. Mostly just in the south. Mostly just south? Okay. I don't remember. Like southeast, southwest. I remember, yeah, it's all? Okay. I don't remember. Like southeast, southwest. I remember, yeah, it's all the same.

I don't remember. Mostly from like Virginia down, like Tennessee, Alabama, Atlanta. Wow. I can't see a flock of dimes. I guess there's cool parts of Alabama. Oh, yeah. South is great. We had a great time.

We had a nice time. It was spring. Actually, Alabama is by far one of the best shows. Birmingham, yeah. It's an amazing club down there. I passed through there with horse lords, too. I've heard of that place, actually. Yeah. It Bottle Tree. It's an amazing club down there. I passed through there with Horse Lords, too. I've heard of that place, actually. It's the jam.

It's awesome. Great people there, too. Yeah, good folks. Bottle Tree. Well, right on. Are you guys working on another tour or just kind of writing, playing it by ear? I'm not really trying to be touring, to be honest with you. Yeah, it seems like that kind of exhausted you a bit.

You picked up on that. I'm a great interviewer there's also a lot of diarrhea on the last tour a lot of what? diarrhea yeah you know

multiple diarrhea I can't keep my bowels inside my body it's a German food and I'm kind of like a dog like when there's diarrhea like I gotta eat it it's like throw up

like somebody throws up you throw up which is sometimes convenient you know yeah that's true you drop something on the floor and you're like hey dog can you clean like, hey, dog.

Can you clean that up? Hey, dog. Except it's diarrhea. Yo, dog. You get that? But, yeah, no, I mean, I'm not really trying to be – I'm not – I'm sure I will be trying to tour in the future. Yeah. But for the time being, I'm much more concerned with making new things that I like.

Yeah. And that takes a determined amount of time. Yeah. Time – amount of time yet to be determined. I cannot see the future. Do you just kind of get in creative slumps and then like highs and kind of just cyclical kind of thing? Big highs, big lows. Periods of great productivity and periods of just vast, vast emptiness.

I will say this though. I feel like Jen's periods of not getting stuff done are not very long. I have maybe never met somebody that is more prolific in short periods of time. When you are fully, I mean you are very

prolific in general, I would say in general, but then when you are really on it is bonkers. I can turn it out. when I guys were recording the the last why oak record and you were in the studio you were like it was like the second or third day and you were like I wrote this last night and it was one of the albums the one of the songs that ended up on the right then and there it was crazy yeah well I mean you know sometimes you just get in the headspace and it's easy.

Yeah, it is weird. Like once you kind of crack it open, like I've noticed that with comedy because I'm just starting to do stand up. It's weird. Like if you get into like a mode, you're like, oh, this is easy. And then when it's gone, it really sucks. Like, is this funny? Yeah. Yeah.

So. I know what you mean. I can. I can. I mean, I can imagine. I'm always kind of trying to make myself laugh quietly inside. And your cat. Your roommate's cat.

Buster. Buster's easy to make laugh. He'll laugh at anything. He's not a reliable barometer of what's funny. Yeah. He's a cat. Oh, okay. Well, yeah.

But, I mean, you should still feel good about it. Maybe, yeah. Don't be too hard on yourself. You know, it works. Yesterday, he laughed so hard at one of my jokes that he just like threw up all over himself and then he ate it it's like yo my bad i'll get that i got that yeah i got that that's my throw up right there that's my that's my throw up so is so you're mostly focusing on flock of dimes stuff no i'm just whatever i'm

honestly i think the honestly honestly i'm a stodley um i um amaste um i am honestly not trying to um to tell myself what i'm writing for i think that's poison i have i have three different you know projects that are sort of active to varying degrees and then i have a big old you know pile of stuff that maybe i don't even need to necessarily categorize i you know sometimes maybe i sit down and all of a sudden i have made a rap beat or that i'm not a rapper i don't really know any good rappers so um sorry it's tough to come by yeah sorry i can't help i just it's too easy um let's just say you don't know any commercially viable rappers all right we'll say that and also any good yeah yeah um so uh yeah you know i mean some it's just i if i feel like if i sit down i'm like i have to

make this specific thing yeah it's a it's a recipe for disaster it's certain certain failure right death just kind of makes it weird being like now i'm gonna write this right yeah it's not great yeah it doesn't work for it's worse for some people it doesn't work for me. It works for some people. It doesn't work for me. So I feel like the best thing for me to do is just get in the habit of working in a routine every day. And I suck at that, so I don't make it a thing. Yeah, I do too. Yeah. But when I do, when I pull that off, that's when I make shit a lot. When you can be in a routine.

Yeah, when I can work for like four, five, six hours a day every day, then maybe five days in a row will be total bullshit. And then day six is like off the chain. But you have to like get into a routine. Yeah, it is kind of like muscle where you have to just keep at it before it gets good. And then get all the shit out of the way first before something good comes. Yeah, you got to shit out the shit. You got to shit out the shit. And then all of a sudden it's like whoa i ate that what yeah and then it's all

gold and then it's golden showers from then on yeah and and money starts falling from the ceiling yeah that's i hate that two strippers appear with a giant oversized check it's great you gotta get a dancer around yeah Kid Rock shows up for some reason he's there he's always there

he's always hanging out yeah so we'll see I mean I'm not I also don't wanna it's weird my therapist and I yeah how long have you been

going to a therapist um oh okay I'm sorry I don't think it's weird I'm sorry I wouldn't you also brought it up I know I brought it up no I'm sorry You also brought it up

I know I brought it up No well the truth of the matter is I don't think there's a stigma to it How long have you been crazy? I changed therapist It's something I'm sort of like I don't want to like You're in between

You don't want to jinx it Does your therapist work at AV club as well? I know Not that I know of Although I'll be fucked up If that were the case Jen you have a great album Don't be so hard on yourself It's like feeding information Oh Jesus I know Not that I know of Although I'll be fucked up If that were the case Jen you have a great album

Don't be so hard on yourself It's like feeding information Yeah Oh Jesus A young hot comedy writer Psychologist Feeding information to the The school of commenting piranhas

In the 80s Dude she's so She's really insecure Yeah Pumice stones Commenting piranhas That just sounds awesome Commenting

Sounds like a really shitty Like 90s band name but it does sound yeah speaking of awesome band names I really wanted to start a band called

Celebrity Sweatshirt what is that it doesn't it doesn't mean anything where did that come from in your mind well me and my friend Angel came up with it

she came up with it does sound good yeah she was like I got turned away from a place in LA because I wasn't a celebrity. And then I was like, yeah, what tipped you off? You did?

That was real. We were texting about it. Like a restaurant? No, like a place where they're having like a private party for celebrities. Golden Globes. And I tried to go and I got turned away. Oh, wow. Because you didn't have a celebrity sweatshirt.

She was like, dude, this is my celebrity sweatshirt. But I thought it'd be a good band name. That is good. Yeah. Just because it sounds good. Sweatshirt just sounds great. Earl sweatshirt. Yeah. Earl sweatshirt. Also, also a good name. Yeah. Yeah, somebody should get on that What were you doing in LA

Okay My therapist on vacation healthy perfectly normal No, it's on vacation like I'm very. Perfectly normal. Totally, totally normal. Yeah, yeah. No, I was on vacation. Like, I'm very, as we address, I'm very seasonally, seasonally affected. Yeah. So I went there to get some sunshine. Uh-huh. It was really nice.

It was great. It was very sunny over there. Some great tacos. Oh, my God. The tacos. Brimming with gang activity. I just want to say that. Yeah.

That's cool. That's why I've just to say that. Yeah. That's cool. That's why I've just never even been. Yeah. Over the Mississippi. Jen, you're gang related, right? It's no biggie. You're a crypt, it says here in my notes. No, I can't talk about that.

Okay. Okay. Just walk on them. Yeah. Just walk. No, I can't talk about that. Okay. I was just making sure.

You don't want her to pop the trunk. No. No. You really don't. No, I know. Yeah. Yeah. That's what happened to the last trunk. No, no. You really don't. No, I know. Yeah, that's what happened to the last guy that popped the trunk. She'll make it rain-led pennies. Oh, no.

Don't do that. What he said. Speaking of, do you think a lot of gunshots are going to go off with the Ravens? Oh, hell yeah. If you're trying to die, just go outside. Just walk outside after that final second. Yeah, just go outside and open your arms to the heavens. Wait for the bullets. the for the shower of

Sweet sweet dad that's sweet really do you guys remember when that tourist was like killed like one or two July 4th? It's like some dude from Missouri. They got murdered. They were in the street and they got shot in the eye. With a rubber bullet. Let's take a break. A rubber bullet. They got shot in the eye with a rubber bullet.

The dude downtown? Oh, I thought you were talking about... I was thinking of something else. I was talking about another tourist getting murdered. But like when Boston won the World Series, I think. Oh, I thought you're talking about them. I'm singing with something else I was talking about another tourist getting murdered but like when Boston when Boston won the World Series, I think Yeah, those things still fucking hurt those rubber bull a good reason not to riot Guys don't riot i remember when uh the maryland terrapins guys don't do it don't riot y'all we have some crazy fans but when uh the terrapins won the ncaa championship and they started rioting we're like let's go to that let's go to the riot we drove to college park and then like

turned turned over some stuff and yeah it was pretty crazy you did yeah did you turn over some just some dumb stuff like people were bringing like couches outside of their dorms and stuff. And then they were throwing a big fire. You got to turn that couch over, right? Yeah. So it was nothing too crazy. I was just going to say if you like flipped over a car, I'd be like, oh, you're kind of an asshole. Yeah.

No, no, no. I didn't do that. It was stuff that was already destroyed. I mean, once something's upside down, it might as well be on fire as far as I'm concerned. I've been saying that for years. Once the car is upside down, it has to burn. Yeah. What else are you going to do?

Are you going to drive it upside down? I don't think so. It doesn't work that way. Fucking burn it. Wheels are on the bottom. Yeah. That's how God invented and attended. Invented.

That's how he invented. Event attendance. Invent attendance. That's how God event attendance. Yep. He's event attendant. That's how he lives his life. We're just freestyling jokes here.

We're good at it. We're doing pretty... Okay. You guys are good at it. Hey, all right. Sorry, you really just shouldn't have shown me that. What do the other buttons do? More drops?

No. That's all you got? And then you got to go in between here. What the hell is that? It's the guy It's the I love you It's the Corey confessing to love Ooh that's hot

Who is that? To record your message press 2 To record your message press 2 Boop That's for like a skit On a rap record Skit track Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah I really I'm sorry no I'm into that no go for it that's why I brought it out

that's pretty cool present the cork for my guests Mickey do you want to press the button I'm over it okay okay all right no it's fine I work hard and you're over it That's okay I'm an asshole You knew what you were getting into I know Mickey how long have you been an asshole? Only about 6 or 7 years Really? What started that? Just like the pain

and the weight of the world Yeah crushing your dreams It's hard being like a middle class wasp in America. It's the worst, right? It's so easy. Everything's so easy. It's so easy. It's just hard.

I know, right? It gets old after a while. You want to have a little bit of a hardship now and again. Everything's handed to you. I know how that goes it's just like my car breaks down it's just like i wish for once i didn't have triple a yeah no big deal but i do yeah the other day it took you like 20 minutes yeah i had to wait for like 20 minutes to get my keys unlocked life locked your keys if there was any locked his keys in his car yeah I'm here to say

I had to walk like a block down to her car it was fucked up god you guys I'm sorry she called her manager I did can you send somebody from New York

can you like send somebody can you like send somebody? Can you like send somebody? It's dangerous. I'm in Baltimore. 3R? Sending a driver from Manhattan.

3R? What the fuck? Oh my god. My phone's about to die. Horrible battery. Fix it, Steve Jobs. So what else is going on, guys? Let's see.

I'm in the Super Bowl. I am depressed. Yeah. Let's see. Mickey, you're still depressed? Yeah. But, you know, it's okay. I mean, I'm not like that depressed.

I mean, I'm having fun talking to you guys right now.'s cool yeah this is a cheer up yeah good i'm glad you guys came by whenever i'm talking and laughing i'm not eating and crying oh okay so it's great it works out great yeah i've been i've been eating a lot not so much crying but uh eating and crying at the same time you should really give it a try okay all right get the salt on your food a little bit from your tears just a little bit just yeah no you have to be straight up sobbing okay and then also eating as fast as much as you can even yeah maybe crushing in your hand a little bit yeah some foods to try yeah um hamburgers sure donuts uh-huh chocolate bars donuts like a really soft Honey glaze With tears

Yeah It's good Glaze with tears I like that What goes well What pairs well with tears Fierce True

Just Honestly The idea of like Tears on a honey glaze That sounds really good Like a slightly salty Yeah Sounds like

Expensive items Sounds like an R&B song I'm going to go home and write. Tears on donuts. Tears on honey glazed. Tears would probably also be good on like those sesame crisps. Oh, speaking of R&B parodies, does anyone want to go in with me on Half on a Bagel? Half on a bagel. I do.

And it's like a video where like. I want to do that for real and the song. But like that was the thing. Like, yeah, it was like, you don I want to do that for real and the song. But that was the thing. Yeah, it was like, you don't want a whole bagel sometimes. Right. So you're just looking around and you're like, which one of these shorties wants to go half on a bagel? Which one of you lucky ladies?

How do you feel about veggie cream? These are the things that I think about most of the time. Football parody songs and R&B parody songs. That's gold right there. That I never actually make because no one needs that. On this podcast, you should also put a link to Jen's rendition of... I don't know. Why can't I say it? When you did the live...

Oh, Real Talk? Oh, Real Talk. I love Real Talk. She does an amazing cover of it, which you can find on the web. I mean, it was more, there's some context. It's fantastic. Some context being that, like, our friend threw an event in Baltimore that was called The Slowdown.

Ah. And it was all slow dance songs covered by their friends, and there was a house band. And so, you know, like, everyone did a, like, did a ballad, and it wasn't just me being like, guess what I got? You know what everyone needs is another white girl covering R. Kelly. Yeah, it would be great. But I just wanted that song. I love that song.

I wanted to do that song. And it was a dream of mine. And I made it happen. Yeah, that that video and song are American treasures. One of my favorite things about that video is that his crew is like real old. Yeah. There's like boys are like dominoes a little bit. Yeah. And they're like, they're totally not real old. Yeah. And there's like boys who are like Domino's a little bit.

Yeah. And they're like they're totally not like cool. Yeah. Milton. Milton. I want to know who Milton is.

Yeah. Milton. It's his driver I think. Start your motherfucking car. Won that shit up. This bitch done lost her motherfucking mind. Yeah.

The thing is like they were always like how do you learn all the words? I was like I've always known all the words in that song. It wasn't like I had to practice. You would have known the words in that song. I just knew the words you learn all the words? I was like, I've always known all the words in a song. It wasn't like I had to practice.

You would have known the words. I just knew the words. Everyone knows the words. Also, I love in the video, it's like somebody told him just before they made it what YouTube was. Because he says YouTube like nine times. Hey, it's for YouTubes. Yeah. He says YouTubes, I think.

With a plural. I know people be watching YouTube, so that's why we made it for YouTube. We made a video for YouTubes. Yeah, for YouTubes. Yeah. Okay. So I want to hear that.es. Yeah, for YouTubes. Yeah. Okay. So I want to hear that. Yeah, well, that's out there.

I didn't do the greatest job singing it, but I did remember all the words. Hey, why start now, right? Yeah. Hey-oh. I like this guy. We're entering. She'll kill you. No.

You'll be blacklisted. Did you guys hear about what Beyonce did? What? Where she was just like, bitch, please, you sing. I'm trying to sing like I can't sing she held a press conference where she just walked out

and like sang the national anthem and then was just like dropped the mic boom did she really do that yeah that's how it really happened wow

Sasha she was just like I'm tired of this shit y'all like you're bitch please like I can't sing and then she's like oh because they did

pre-record it yeah I'm like but it was they just pre-recorded her yeah but like I know and she's just like alright I can't sing and then she's like oh because they did pre-record it yeah I'm like but it was they just pre-recorded her yeah but like I know and she's just like

alright I can't do it live and she's just like I hold a press conference and she just walked out and was just like guess what bitches I'm singing the national anthem for you right now

wow that's pretty awesome and it was just like slayed it it was just like any questions boom drop the mic peace

nice yeah that's how that's how you get it done and now she's gonna lip sync at halftime at Super Bowl probably. I don't care. I don't fucking care. Yeah.

Obviously Beyonce can sing. She's amazing. Yeah, that's like there's no... Everyone shut up. It's like you can tell when somebody's a singer who's like not really a good singer. But like Beyonce is clearly

not in that category. Anyone who's arguing about need for greater authenticity in the Super Bowl halftime show needs to fuck off. Yeah. Like, seriously? What are you doing? And if you didn't know before, like, I remember when Madonna did it, she's doing, like, back

flips off a trampoline and, like, never takes a breath. Like, it's just completely, like, singing the entire time with no stutters. Like, of course it's lipstick. Who gives a fuck? And, like, why are you looking for that kind of authenticity in this Super Bowl convention in the first place? What is wrong with you? Yeah, and I don't give a fuck if Beyonce wasn't singing at the inauguration. It's entertainment.

It's entertainment. But apparently it's like normal for them to. It's totally normal. Everyone lip syncs. It happens all the time. I mean, I personally have never sung anything. Live or any ever. Yeah, you just have that.

You're like that Japanese pop star that's just like entirely generated by a computer. It's a Teddy

Ruxpin doll that I had when I was a kid that I just sped up. Wow. And then you

chopped up the tape to be different lyrics. Yeah, that's the voice. That's a lot of work.

Kind of like a sound artist. Better than singing. Yeah, yeah. Singing is hard. And Teddy Ruxpin good looking fella

pop a tape in that belly heavy heavy though a little bit once you actually pick it you're just like damn there's some weight to it

but you want that that's some seriousness to it you know good well that's good so you and Teddy are working on some stuff working on some jams

you guys will be at the next inauguration Romney 2016 huh God willing God willing. God willing. Praise Jesus.

His God. Praise Jesus. Or whatever God. Mitt Romney. He's chilling. I think he's probably happy. He doesn't want to deal with this crazy world. I don't know.

He just has his billions of dollars to go back to. Poor guy. Poor, poor guy. I really don't want to talk about him anymore. I'm just going to He just has his billions of dollars to go back to. Poor guy. Poor, poor guy. I really don't want to talk about him anymore. I'm just going to say, hey guys, can we move on? I don't want to talk about him anymore. Is this too much?

I'm over it. You're a fan. I'm not a fan. And I don't want to. You're the biggest fan. You're obsessed. I'm crying right now. You have a Rami tattoo.

I'm crying right now. I know. Hi guys. Can we move on, please? Hey, save those tears for the donuts, huh? I'm crying. That's a great idea. That's a great t-shirt. You're just putting them in a jar for later. Save those tears for the donuts That's a great idea That's a great t-shirt

Save those tears Would you be offended if I tweeted during your podcast No Save those tears for the donuts Yeah as long as you tag the podcast What is it It's at dig sesh pod Dig

Do you guys mind if I twiddle my thumbs Do you want to check it oniddle my thumbs During the podcast Do you want to check it On Foursquare Just so people You want to be the mayor Of this podcast Yeah you can tweet

Wait okay So wait Ah Like at Ah Like the at symbol Yeah and dig Uh huh

And then S-E-S-H I know how to spell sesh And then pod Is P-O-D I know how to spell pod P-O-D Also my favorite band You guys P-O-D. I know how to spell pod. P-O-D, also my favorite band, you guys. P-O-D.

Do you have any pull on that? Wait, I know I forgot what I was going to fucking tweet. God fucking damn it. Save those tears for the donuts. Thanks, Mickey. That's basically what I do for her. She'll come over to the studio, get a text that sends her into a tailspin, and I'm just like, she's just like,

blah, blah, blah. What were we doing? Dave, those ears for the donuts. No, that's not right. Dave, those ears? That's not right. Save those tears for the donuts. That tweet's gonna kill.

Like, fucking how many retweets do you think tweet's gonna kill. Like, fucking... How many retweets do you think that's gonna get? No, zero. Not one of my best... Not one of my best tweets. Okay. What's one of your best tweets? You'll know you have to go on the internet

and follow me on Twitter. Go on the internet? Go in the internet. Alright, I'm gonna dive in. Go in the internet and find out for yourself. I've seen internet? Alright. Go in the internet. Alright, I'm going to dive in. Go in the internet and find out for yourself. I've seen the movie Tron. I can get in there. I have three different Twitter accounts like an insane person. I also have three. That's weird. You're insane.

Yeah, well I have one for myself, one for the podcast, and then one for my comedy label, Better Robot Records. Cool. So, I'm just saying. I have one that I've never used. That's weird too. It's at Mickey mistakes That's a Mickey mistake right there, why don't you tweet what I don't know I know yeah, I know, you know, I up i come up with quips you quip you

quip hard i quip yeah i don't know you like puns twitter loves puns oh my god i love puns me too yeah i love puns hi i love puns i love puns i'm just gonna edit that out when we advertise for this podcast how does jen wazza feel about puns find out out. I like them. They're cool. Spoiler alert. P.S. She's a man. Yeah. Twist and turns. Twist and turns. Yeah.

I saw that coming. I like it. All right. Well, I don't want to monopolize your guys' time anymore, but thank you for doing the podcast. It's been fun. But like,

did I say enough funny shit yet? It was funny as hell. You cracked me up with your half on a bagel. That's going to happen. No, no, no. See, someone's going to fucking steal that idea. Copyright. Copyright. half on a bagel. That's going to happen. No, no, no. See, no one. Someone's going to

fucking steal that idea. Copyright. Copyright. Half on a bagel. Jen Wozner Industries. Done. All right. You should just

put a black bar. Look at this great idea. It was. I'll just beep it out. Yeah. Everyone laughs. Wonder what they said. And Mickey, thank you for joining me on

the podcast thanks for having me back i know the last time i i had a bad job quickly yeah i did a bad job yeah so no i was okay i was okay well yeah no you're you're good yeah i'm kind of sick too so it's cool i'm healthy really yeah like mentally i mean physically i'm not mentally healthy right i'm deeply deeply mentally unhealthy one out of two way bad yeah yeah you're doing I'm healthy. Really? Yeah. Like mentally? I mean physically. I'm not mentally healthy at all. Right, right. I'm deeply, deeply mentally unhealthy. One out of two ain't bad. Yeah.

Yeah, you're doing all right. 50-50. In this economy? 50-50. You're all right. Just add that to anything. You're mentally ill, but hey, in this economy, right? Who isn't?

All right, thank you guys. You're very welcome. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. in a club with you. Girl, I wasn't in no club. Damn. Girl, I'm not about to sit up here and argue with you about who's to blame. Call no names, real talk, see if you're

The only thing I'm trying to establish with you is not Who's right and who's wrong, but what's wrong with real talk Just because your friend said you saw me in the club with some other bitches Sending the VIPs smoking and drinking and kicking it Well tell me this girl Did she say there were other guys there? Did she say there were other guys there? Were there other guys there?

Well tell me this then How the fuck she know I was with them other girls? Put a whole club back, one of them Let me finish what I got to say. I've been with you five years, you're listening to your motherfucking girlfriend. I don't know why you fuck with them jealous, no man have an asshole,

it was anyway real talk. Always accusing me of some old bullshit when I'm just trying to have a good time. Jen, I heard you did this, why's it hurt you did that? Don't you think I got enough bullshit on my mind? Real tough, hold up, didn't I just give you money to go get your hair, toes and nails done the other day?

Yeah, your ass was smiling then. Gave who some damn money? I ain't gave nobody no damn money Girl, is he tweaking? See what your problem is You always running off at the mouse Telling your girls your motherfucking business When they don't eat with us

They don't sleep with us Besides, what they eat don't make us shit Real tall, you call my mama's house in wood Don't sleep with us besides what they eat Don't make us shit Real talk You call my mama's house and what? Girl, my mama ain't got a screen No calls from me Real talk And watch your mouth

Fuck me, bitch, fuck you I don't give a fuck about what you talking about I'm coming home, getting my shit and getting the fuck out that I done You ain't gotta worry about me no more Next time you ask your heartache, go fuck one of your funky-ass friends Hell, you're probably already doin' that shit anyway You gon' burn what? Bitch, I wish you would Burn my motherfuckin' clothes

You'll try to last You bogus girl You're my motherfuckin' hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Thank you.