The Digression Sessions - Ep. 75 - Lazer Libby! (Lazerbitch!)

Episode Date: May 28, 2013

Hola DigHeads! This week we are joined by one talented and interesting lady, Lazer Libby of Lazerbitch. Josh and Mike first met Libby over a year ago, when opening for her at the Ottobar. For over a decade Libby has been consistently bringing both the funk and the noise, with Lazerbitch and as a solo artist. Though she now works a day job, Lizzy put forth quite the effort to make a successful music project – which is ongoing. 
Check out LazerBitch.com and follow Libby - @LazerLibby   We talk with Libby about music (obviously), how to drive a horse (obviously), her hair being blue, the surprising frequency in which Josh is mistaken a chubby Asian gentlemen, and more.   
Hopefully you enjoy our talk with Libby as much as we did. If not, well at least you downloaded it (which is still to our advantage, sucker!) 
Speaking of which, please subscribe to the Digression Sessions Podcast on either Stitcher or iTunes. Like our Facebook page! And check out the “Calendar” section of DigressionSessions.com for upcoming Josh and Mike’s stand-up and/or improv shows! Thanks DigHeads!   Follow Josh, Mike, and the podcast on Twitter!   @BetterRobotJosh   @MichaelMoran10   @DigSeshPod   Josh Kuderna – On Vine!    

Welcome to the Digression Sessions Podcast. Hey everybody, I'm Josh Koderna. And I'm Mike Moran. And you're listening to the Digression Sessions Podcast, a Baltimore-based comedy talk show hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence as we interview local and non-local comedians writers musicians and anyone else we find creative and interesting yes

who's the guest this week laser libby is our guest on this week's program. She is the front woman of the Baltimore-based dance group Laser Bitch. And you can find their music at laserbitch.com or on iTunes, where I believe they have an app and a couple singles available. And Libby herself is on the Twitters at laser libby and it was great to sit down and chat with her we met libby about uh about a year ago mike and i were playing a show with the band polaroid rage at autobar and polaroid rage is opening up for laser bitch and libby came up to us after our sound check and she's like you guys are actually good you guys actually sound good I was texting my friends and I was saying you should come to the

show because the opening band is actually good and that was really nice of her and we've been in contact ever since and it was awesome to sit down and talk to her and get her perspective as a musician about the dichotomy that I think that every creative person probably goes through where it's like, I would really like to focus on my music, my art, my comedy, whatever it is, but I need to make money and pay my bills. However, if I just focused on my creative stuff, it would probably be a lot better and maybe I could eventually pay my bills. So it was really cool to hear her perspective on that. And Mike and I don't really know much about the dance side of things of the

music industry, but, you know, it's all the same. You got to put in the time and hopefully it pays off. But he also walked that high wire of being like, well, I've invested all this time and I don't know. I don't know. But yeah, it was really cool to talk to her. So Laser Bitch is still doing shows and they have music out and you can support them

and go see Laser Bitch June 8th, Saturday, June 8th at the Paradox in Baltimore where they'll be performing a new song, which will premiere on 410 Records. And it'll have some B-sides on there. And you can see Libby Saturday, June 15th at the 8x10 for a benefit. My brain couldn't think of the word benefit. At the 8x10 for a benefit for the Maryland Animal Sanctuary. It's called Music music for mutts and she'll be performing an acoustic set and she'll be singing and then um uh somebody will be playing acoustic guitar and it'll be uh it'll be good so go support

that support some animals and of course we talked to libby about um animals which she's a big fan of and uh so am i we love our dogs We love our dogs. We love our dogs. So yeah, go support Libby because she rules. And if you want to support us, your favorite pair of earbuds, me, Josh Koderna, and my co-pilot when Jesus calls out sick, Mr. Mike Moran, you can find us on Twitter at Better Robot Josh. That's me. Mike is at Michael Moran 10. And the podcast is at Dig Sesh Pod. And if you want to see us live, check out the calendar section of digressionsessions.com. We have some shows coming up. If you're listening to this, the day this drops, I will be at the sidebar on Tuesday, May 28th, where I'll be recording Mike Fonazzo's next album

for Better Robot Records. It's called The Cheery Side of Denial, and I'm super excited about that. I'll be performing and a bunch of other local really funny guys, all people that have been on this podcast before, Mike Stork, Justin Jones, Stavros Halkias, and, of of course the wonderful Mike Fonazzo. And there's a big show coming up for you digheads. I believe it's a Tuesday, June 18th. We will be in Bel Air, Maryland.

Mike and I. It'll be a night of digression sessions where Mike will be headlining and I'll be featuring. And we'll both be doing stand-up at a free show in Bel Air, Maryland. So if you live out that way, please come see us. Also, a special shout-out to The Pollen Count. Yeah, right? That Pollen Count. I don't know if you can hear it, but I've got some allergies going on. But anyway, we had a great chat with Libby.

I hope you had a good Memorial Day weekend. If you like us, rate us on iTunes. Follow us on Stitcher. Tell a friend if you like the show. Buy a t-shirt. We have t-shirts. We have stickers. At this point, I'm just rambling.

Like us. Do stuff for us. We like you. Anyway, let's get into the episode with uh lizard libby we love you i have a crazy day job now and it's like like. What do you do? I'm in sales. Okay. And I found that the more money I make. Yeah.

The sicker I get. Like sick with it you mean? Like getting so sick. Yeah because I'm supposed to do more people. No. Not that kind of sick. I wish. Yeah?

Yeah. Well. Mike and I are sick with it. So it's like the more people. Wow. Yeah. We have AIDS. Yep.

You're so sick. Yeah. We're the sick sick yeah oh my god ill these are these are so cute what yeah these little baby phones they're like from the 90s you consider those baby phones little baby what are full grown phones then? You know, the big ones. Yeah, like Beats by Dre. Well, because I have the Sonys. Oh, okay. For my studio. Oh, look at you.

You know. Look at you. But I'm just saying, these are like, you know, to plug into your... Well, they're not like the Walkman. These are like the upgraded Walkman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little bit. Doing a little Jazzercise action. That's right yeah that's right talk talk right in okay you'd be like a few inches

away yeah there you go does that work it's great awesome it's fantastic awesome so how the hell are you i'm good thanks thanks thanks for coming by of course um are we are we when, we've started. Oh, we've started? Yeah, we caught all your racial slurs and all your feelings about, you know, politics and things like that. How I hate animals. You can stop kicking my dog in the face. I know. I hope they all die. Well, they will eventually. We all die.

That's how we like to start the podcast, Kathy. We're all going to die. Let's remember that before we start. A quick reminder of our own mortality. How the hell are you? How you doing? What's going on? This podcast is sponsored by death.

Grim Reaper doesn't have to be grim all the time, right? All right. So, Mike Moran, how the hell are you? Excuse me. I was just drinking some MasterChef coffee. I'm well. I'm well. Yeah, I can't complain.

Look at you. You're all well rested. Yeah, it's been a busy weekend slash end of the week. Yes. But I got to sleep in today. Weekend slash end of the week. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So I can't complain. Had some good times this weekend. Good performances. Yeah. Yeah. It was a really fun show.

We had the stand-up improv mix show or strand-up comedy at the Strand Theater. Yeah. Yeah. That was tons of fun. And then you went to what? Doomhilda last night? I did. I did not perform at Doomhilda.

I merely spectated. I guess I did technically perform one scene when we did an improv jam at the end. There you go. Don't say merely. I'm sure you spectate with the best of them. I am spectalicious. Yeah, you're a spectacular spectator. That's right.

Positive vibes. I be spectacled. Getting good vibes. Spectacular spectator. I have be spectacular. Getting good vibes. Spectacular spect... I have spectacles. I know. They call me Inspector Spect. And now Libby's wondering why she's wasting her

Sunday afternoon. No way. I was just wishing that I hadn't been under the weather so I could have come out and supported your endeavors.

I love you many more. That's good. Yeah. I like to hear that. Absolutely. Yeah, we do a lot of stuff. Oh, yeah. Boom. I love you many more. That's good. Yeah. I like to hear that. Absolutely. Yeah, we do a lot of stuff. Oh, yeah. Boom.

How about you, Josh? How are you doing? Good. Good, good. Had two shows. Like I said, the show on Friday was a lot of fun. Show last night was fun. I didn't feel like I was at my best, so that hurt a little bit.

Right. Well, you know, second place is the first loser. Yep. That's as my mom always told me. Yep, absolutely. little bit right well you know second place is the first loser yeah that's as my mom always told me yep absolutely and uh yeah but saw some friends after and licked my wounds i had a couple beers and then i went and played some music today it was good yeah it was good cool i don't know why my voice went high it was actually good you know how like when people think that things aren't good we're getting along you know We're putting it in.

We're putting in the time. It was good. And then I came home and made a big bowl of macaroni and cheese. Craft? No, I went organic. Organic mac and cheese. Good for you. Yeah, because I'm an adult.

You know, everything's made out of organs. Oh, yeah. Organic is kind of meaningless. Even pesticides, non-pesticide. They use pesticides. What? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Your crops will get eaten. There's a certain amount, though, right? They use natural. They use, like, pesticides that animals use on each other, which in some cases could be more toxic than the uh chemical synthesized stuff okay well i've never heard this before are you being totally serious yeah i mean yeah organic everything's organic right that's living at some point right yeah um and yeah there is like controversy on these like natural pesticides thing because it's like why would why would like a caterpillar's poisonous

liquid be any safer than like something that's made in the lab because it's like, why would a caterpillar's poisonous liquid be any safer than something that's made in the lab? Because it's natural, bro. Yeah. Natural poisons. Nature sucks, first of all. Wow. Nature has nothing but nice things to say about you. Nature is trying to kill you.

But as we establish, we're going to die anyway, right? That's true. Why not? But if we do stay alive, it's not going to be because of nature. It's science all the way. Sure. Sure. Yeah.

Like polio. We kick polio's ass. Yeah. Did nature kick polio's ass? I don't think so. No. He-Man did. We have the scientist He-Man to thank for that.

But no, I'm good. I'm good. At work this week, real quick, I just want to tell a story. Let's hear it. I work for the government, and we have a little identification card that we have to wear either around our necks or on our belts. And there's a whole ad campaign now for these new cards all around where I work. I work for the Social Security Administration. And it's like a portly Asian fella. And he's kind of blurred a little bit, and it's just it's uh it's like a portly asian fella he's kind

of blurred a little bit he's holding the card and then it says like don't forget your card or whatever i think it's called like a piv card or something like that and i went down to the cafeteria i forget what day it was but i i got something to eat at the cafeteria and the guy that was handing me my food he was like hey you're the guy you the guy from the car thing? Really? Yeah. He was an Asian guy wearing glasses. And he said he was portly, too, right?

Yeah. He was definitely a little overweight. Oh, my God. And I was like, no. No, I'm not. He's like, all right. All right. Like, he was a little incredulous.

And then later that day, I went to the gym, of course, because I was like, what the fuck? I think I'm fat. I'm going to the i was like what the am i getting fat but i'm also getting asian yeah i'm getting so bad that i'm getting your eyes are like way down by the weight of your fat your fat forehead that food goes right to my forehead your eyelids have found a way to get fat right exactly it's all that organic mac and cheese yeah exactly upper echelon of fat That food goes right to my forehead. I was going to say, your eyelids have found a way to get fat. Right, exactly. That's really. It's all that organic mac and cheese. Yeah, exactly. Upper echelon of fat. Yeah.

So, and then I went to the gym, and there's a security guard at the gate. And as I was going to the gym, he's like, hey, it's the dude from the poster over there. Wait, wait, wait. The same guy? Different guy. Similar voice. Another person just took you. The same guy? Different guy. Similar voice. Other person. Yes.

Just took you. The same day. No way. Yeah. Wow. Okay, that's weird. Yeah. Well, I was...

Did you kind of look like the guy at the right angle? The fact that we're both human men, maybe. Like, I don't know. Our hair could be semi-similar. Plus, you can't really see him. It's like one of those ad campaigns where the thing's like... Why would they assume it's you one of those ad campaigns were like I don't know I don't think that I'm fat or portly you're not all right neither

poorly nor okay good you have been getting a little Asian though I wanted to talk to you about this we're gonna have an intervention all right so yeah I just wanted to get that out of the way okay what happened with the second guy though I just told him no. There's got to be some reasons for why all these people are mistaking you for an Asian portly man. No, that's it. Maybe it means something. Like that I'm...

Maybe you need to be Asian. Yeah, maybe it's a sign. I'm running for my destiny right now. Absolutely. Trying to be this white Anglo-Saxon male. Right. Can't be something you're not. That's true.

Julianne Somo told us that in Pantera. Just let it go, Josh. Can't be something you're not. That's true. Joe Lanzomo told us that in Pantera. Just let it go, Josh. You're right. You're right. Be that guy. Be who you are. Thank you, guys. Thank you so much.

I really needed this. Thank you. No problem. And the security guards used to also call me Jonah's brother, too. Because I'd wear ties and vests. I can see that. They're like, hey, there go one of them Jonah's brothers. It's like, thank you, I think.

Sure, I could be a pop star. I want. Well, that's a compliment. I could be an Asian man. People are rarely telling me that I look like a famous, like the type of person that would appear on Teen Beat magazine or Tiger Beat or whatever. Yeah. Is that still around? Yeah.

It is? Comes out twice a month. Arrives on Mike's doorstep twice a month. They still have pictures. It's like the same people from the 80s, except for now they're all like 45. That actually might be kind of awesome. Would be good. I know.

Corey Haim. Corey versus Corey. You know he's dead, right? I was going to say, didn't one of them die? Yeah, that was him. He's dead. Yeah. Yeah, sad.

Drugs. Dead. Dead sexy. And he was fat before he died. Always weird when drug addicts get fat. Yeah, especially. Sad. Drugs. Dead. Dead sexy. And he was fat before he died. Always weird when drug addicts get fat. Yeah. Especially if they're like coke heads too. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Did you guys see that? The Beach Boys movie? They had that segment on the Brian. Brian Wilson. Yeah. He's the only one that they knew that could do an eight ball of cocaine and still eat

like cheeseburgers. Right. Well, I've heard also a lot of people that do coke uh do it to like drink all night so that kind of yeah i've never done coke but my dad told me a story about he said he was like he'd be like if i got too drunk i would uh you do a couple couple bumps it would just even you out and then you drive home that's like okay cool that's good oh my god yeah it's amazing you know i have a theory about that because i you know pretty much all my friends

have kids now and they're all terrified like oh my god oh but can we can we cuss i don't know like josh and i can't we don't feel like you're not allowed we don't feel like it's appropriate for ladies really yeah it's kind of horses Whoa! Let's take a break. So. Our sponsors are going to be pissed. I know. Go ahead. I know.

It's just death. And Disney. So. Yeah. What were we talking about? Drugs? Kids. Oh, and kids.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So all my friends have kids now, and they're all terrified. You know, because we were all pretty wild growing up, and they're terrified. Oh, God. I'm the wildest. What are my kids going to be like? And I'm like, ugh, you have nothing to worry about. I was a nanny for a long time, and all the families that I worked for, the parents were, like, kind of wild. And their kids were all really chill.

Yeah, I think every generation worries that the next generation is going to descend into nihilism and decadence. But the parents that are really strict, though, they into nihilism and decadence. But the parents that are really strict, though, they're the ones that have the wild kids. Yeah, that's why it's like the preacher's daughter is always so wild. Yep. A la Katy Perry. Right.

Marrying Russell Brand and getting divorced in this day and age. They got divorced already? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It didn't even last like a year, right? Who's Russell Brand? He's a comedian you should know yeah i know i know he had the westboro baptist church on his show once right yeah yeah yeah it did yeah yeah that sounds funny yeah it was you should look up the clips i'm gonna

i'm going to i don't remember what he said i just know that he was on there um so wait so you were a nanny for a bit yeah i was I bet you were probably good at it. It was fun. It was really fun. Yeah? It was really fun. So you're in sales now, you said? Yeah.

For the day job? Yeah, this is weird. I don't ever talk about my day job. Yeah. Everyone just knows me as a musician. I know. So this is like my coming out. Yeah. Yeah, seriously.

I'm a normal person. It's so weird. It's so weird. This is totally like my coming out. Do you... Laser Libby's shocking secret. Yes. She does normal things.

I really do. Is your persona very different at your day job than when you perform? Absolutely. Do you wear a wig to cover up your blue hair? No, no, no, no. I sell hair products. There you go. Yeah, so this is kind of encouraged.

Right, no. I sell hair products. There you go. Yeah. So this is kind of encouraged. Right. Yeah. Right. Okay. It'd be so funny if you just wanted to have like a mundane like haircut. Like how people hate dressing up for work. When I started, I did. I was very, I looked very, very normal.

And once I started doing crazy stuff to my hair. Yeah. I started making more money. There you go. Yeah. Because yeah, you're like a walking billboard for it. Pretty much. Yeah. Exactly. Pretty much. The hair looks good. Thanks. I like it. There you go. Yeah. Because, yeah, you're like a walking billboard for it. Pretty much. Yeah, exactly.

Pretty much. The hair looks good. Thanks. I like it. I like it. Yeah, it does look good. Super fun. Yeah.

I had blue hair for a while. What color is that? Is that blue or purple? It's actually teal and green. Boom. Yeah, it's teal and green. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I used to have that. I don't see green in it at all. I can't see color very well. Mike's not a racist. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. There's, there was some in my bag. What the hell is teal?

I have no idea what teal is. It's like a blue green. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, I saw on Twitter, you were auctioned off recently at a charity auction. How did that go?

Okay. So as a lady, I would feel very creeped out. It was weird. I'm not even going to lie. I'm just picturing the sweatiest guy, you know, with stains on his shirt, like, $70,000. Come back to my mom's basement. Luckily, it was not weird like that.

But I didn't really know what to expect. Yeah. I wasn't too worried because it is a reputable organization that did put on the charity what was it for so clarkson's crusaders it's my friend stephanie's company and they work directly with the leukemia and lymphoma society so they contacted me about a week before the event and they were like hey will you be auctioned off for charity and i was. I hope the email had a bunch of dots like that. Sure, sounds fun. So.

Oh, yeah. So. Can we auction you off to a stranger? Yeah. We're always interested in American slavery. You're going to live the dream. Yeah. So they actually got a real auctioneer to auction us off. And we had a block.

And I felt kind of like cattle. Right. Yeah. Did you have a number cow no we didn't have numbers um but did they inspect your gums and they didn't feel my udders either kick your tires um yeah so it was pretty painless honestly i mean i was just happy that i was there to raise money for their cause. I thought that was really cool. Luckily, in a strange twisty turn of events, the auctioneer bid on me. He won. How funny is that, right?

Conflict of interest. I thought it was cool. I would like to see that. Was he just ignoring all the other bets? Like, don't hear anything else. 12 cents it is to me. He said that he did. $1, $1 cents it is to me. He said that he did. One dollar, one dollar, one dollar to me.

He said he did cut the bidding off fast because he wanted to be the one to win me. I thought that was really cute. Oh, boy. So when's the date? What are you guys doing? We don't have a date set. We don't have a date set. So I have, as you know, I'm pretty busy because it took us like a month to schedule this.

Yeah, that's true. And so I told him I was like, hey, I don't really have any free time until the end of June. 2015. And I feel like people always think I'm full of shit when I say that, but I'm really not. And, you know, it's like literally every single day there's something going on. And I'm like, I might be able to fit you in on a Sunday yeah, I'm like just not the next three Jesus Christ and so cuz he was like well

I really want to go to an Orioles game and I'm like that sounds like fun I haven't been in Orioles game in years so why not that sounds like a fun. Yeah, that's good He's a really nice guy is really really cool so he's not creepy or weird he's not he's not bad looking or anything either so i know that was my biggest concern i know i know good i'm glad um i'm thinking of like a million hacky jokes for the auctioneer where's the picture you know the auctioneer on the date like chips salsa chips chips salsa what do you want what do you want drink drink oh sorry i had to get that hacky joke out of the way because it was in my mind. I'm sorry.

So that's good that you raised some money. How much did he venture to? $325. Damn. And I wasn't the highest. Really? By any means. Really?

Was it all ladies or some fellas? It was 20 girls and four guys. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. I like those asses. I think the lowest was $225. Okay. And the highest was $1,000.

Jesus. Who got $1,000? This girl. Yeah. Oh, her. This girl. Yeah. No, there was a girl that went for $1,000.

What was so special about her? She looked like a dude. Okay. Well, I can see that. But I heard that what she did was. I hope she's not listening. I know. I thought about that, but not really.

I pretended to think about it. I know. I don't really care about anyone. Okay. Except for myself. We'll get to that. And my dog and my cat. about it i know i don't really care about anyone um okay except for myself we'll get to that um but i heard that she went on like match.com or something and made a profile and kind of just told everyone that was messaging her like hey come bid on me which is really smart yeah and i wish

that i had thought of that right so i can't really knock her hustle yeah kudos to her i mean she raised a thousand dollars for blood cancer and I only raised $325 yeah but you did it without performance enhancing techniques you were just you I just showed up

I did you barely had to take any testosterone I know I was really worried I didn't really know what to expect because it was at Mother's. So I was expecting just a bunch of like your typical like bed hill, like bros. Which is, yeah, it's a very bro area of Baltimore. But there's a lot of money there too. And so I didn't really know.

And I'm like, I have blue hair. I'm like, I'm not your typical bed hill girl. Like, is anyone going to bid on me? You don't have like sweatpants. That would girl like is anyone gonna bid on me you don't have like sweatpants that would be so sad if nobody bid on you I know

and my friends were like no you're the wild card you're totally gonna get bid on because you don't look like anybody else and I'm like I don't know man

I'm like I have blue hair I'm like I don't think most guys would really want to go out with a girl with blue hair and you don't have any sweatpants that say like

pink on the butt or anything no I don't okay I really don really maybe for the next auction i think i would invest in something like that but yeah see opposites attract the auctioneer is like hey this this chick's different yeah and you know what else what what the other point of difference was was he was actually one of the only people that i talked to before i went up for auction which i thought was very interesting because i encourage you to go and mingle. But I just, I'm not, I mean, I don't know. I felt a little awkward just going out and being like, hey, so are you totally going

to bid on me or what? It would be so fun. That'd be great. Let's go out, right? Yeah. Was there any like really embarrassing like, you know, moments of crickets for anybody? Okay, so the auctioneer said that there was one girl that did not sell, but he played it off like she did.

And I was shocked when he told me that. I was like, holy shit, you played it off so well because I would have never known. Yeah. Yeah. He's a pro. Oh, my God. I mean, total pro. Those guys talk so fast. It's amazing. Yeah. He's a pro. Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, total pro.

Those guys talk so fast. It's amazing. It's really. Have you ever seen a live auction of anything, Mike? No, but I know what an auctioneer is. Okay. You're not like, okay. Any new information?

No, but it is. Those guys talk fast. No, it really is. It really is different when you see them in action. I think when you see it live. It's really crazy. They're like, how about that? Yeah.

Why is that necessary to talk so fast? Can't you just be like, alright, 200. Anybody got anything better than that? 300? Okay. Mike's going to revolutionize the auctioneer game. Nobody's noticed that you don't have to talk like that. All of a sudden, everyone's going to be like, shit. Why don't we talk like that?

He's thinking outside the box. Seriously, is there really any practical purpose to that? Stop poking the bear get a man get him out stop rattling the cage yeah poking the bear stop poking a bear stop poking a bear stop rattling the cage yeah what happens if they have to like make an announcement or something like don't you like the lights on like do they do everything in that voice yes we're revisiting my hacky joke from earlier.

Made it my own. Made it your own. That's called a hacky sack. Boom. Bringing it back, the hacky sack. My man. My man. Well, you also do music, right?

Besides be a normal person. I do. Miss Libby, Miss Laser Libby. You're in a group called, it says here in my notes, Laser B Word. Yeah, Laser Bitch. Okay. All right. How did you call me that? You don't have to call me that.

I'm a man. Call me Josh, not bitch. Please. You can call him Laser Josh. Yeah. Please. Call us, but we'd prefer if you prefaced everything with laser. Yeah.

Starting now Or blazer If you want Have fun Or not Let's take another break Talk about unruly guests We're never going to have anybody back with blue hair

Or teal hair again Or anybody with the word bitch in their name Stanley the bitch Gufterson no thank you we're gonna have laser nice ladies on the show from now on right yeah we are choosing our laser people more much stricter laser policy all right this laser libby of laser bitch how did that get started? How did you get started in music? Because you're a very good singer. Thank you.

Do you play anything? I don't. No. It's so embarrassing. One day I will. It's not embarrassing. I own a really amazing keyboard. I have a really nice guitar.

I just don't play them. Right. So one day I will. So how many people are in Laser Bitch? Two. Okay. Yeah. So it's me and my friend Max.

Max actually started Laser Bitch. He started Laser Bitch in Laser Bitch 2? Two. Okay. Yeah. So it's me and my friend Max. Max actually started Laser Bitch. He started Laser Bitch in 2006. Uh-huh. And so the background, Max and I met in 2001, 2000, 2001. I think 2000. Uh-huh. Were the Twin Towers up or down? They were up.

Okay. It was 2000. It was 2000. Yeah. Yeah. And so we met in 2000 we dated briefly um really ugly breakup we put out a couple records together at the time because i was already releasing records and so was he um and i was doing some of his bookings i had a booking agency for

djs oh nice so we broke up you know completely cut ties cut ties. Right. And then I ran. You know what? And then actually when the Twin Towers fell, I actually called him and was like, dude, because he was in New York. He was in New York. Yeah. Weird. And I was like, dude, just wanted to make sure you weren't dead. I don't hate you that much.

I don't want to say I was not responsible for this. If that's what you're thinking. So anyway, Max, you know, I mean, I guess he was a little angry that I broke up with him. But anyway, I ran into him at some park party in Arlington in 2006. And he just moved back. I think he was overseas or something. And he was engaged and had cats. His wife had cats?

That's the sign of a man doing well. He had a bunch of cats. He was on his feet. So, you know, he was, like, really receptive. Like, he was nice and wanted to talk to me. So I was like, oh, yay. What are you doing musically? Oh, I got this band called Laser Bitch.

So who was in Laser Bitch before you? So there was a Japanese girl. Her name was Fuki. He said, get the Fuki out of here. My ex is in the band now. No. So it was Max and his friend Robbie and his friend Nick and Fuki.

And Fuki and Robbie ended up dating. Yeah. And then I guess Robbie didn't want Fuki to do Laser Bitch anymore, even though he was also part of the group. What a jerk. I want you to stop doing the thing we're both doing. Yeah. And then they guess Robbie didn't want Fuki to do Laser Bitch anymore, even though he was also part of the group. What a jerk. I want you to stop doing the thing we're both doing. Yeah.

And then they got married and started having babies. But they're doing good. They're doing really good as a family unit. Do they have cats? No, I think they have dogs. They're not doing great. And babies. And babies.

So Max had messaged me the Laser Bitch stuff, and I listened to it. And I was like, shit, this is everything I've been trying to do and I can't find the right person to do it with. I was so happy for him, but I was kind of like jealous, like I want this. And so I messaged him my phone number thinking he would never in a million years contact me to work on music. And he really did. It was like a month later. It was my birthday. He was like, happy birthday, Lib.

By the way, I was thinking, you know, like things didn't really work out with the last vocalist and, you know, I don't want to stop doing Laser Bitch. And I was like, yes, yes, yes. Oh, my God. I never in a million years thought you would call me. And he's like, yeah, well, I didn't either. But he's like, we need someone reliable that can sing and you fit the bill.

And I was like, oh, yeah, I can't wait. So Laser Libby joined a pre-existing Laser Bitch. Sure did. Boom. Wow. Yeah. So that. So Laser Libby joined a pre-existing Laser Bitch. Sure did. Boom. Wow. Yep. So that's how Laser Libby came. I was just going by Libby Pickin.

Yeah, that would have been weird if you had also been using the term. It would have been really coincidental. Yeah, that's kismet right there. Yeah, absolutely. But no, Laser Libby was born because I joined Laser Bitch. Right, okay. So, yeah, so then that's pretty much the rest is history. But now there's only two members.

What happened to the other guy? Nobody was really as serious as Max and I were. There was a lot of things that came up. We had a lot of really amazing opportunities when we first started, which was difficult because Max and his wife were already planning to move to California. Right.

And they were here. Well, in D.C., and I was here. Yeah. So we were asked to open for Crystal Castles at the Auto Bar, and this was back in 2007 before they were really big. And we declined. Damn. Because Max was moving to California,

and I didn't want to play the gig by myself because I didn't feel appropriate doing that. And then we got asked to do like open for hot chip at Ram's head. And you know what I mean? Like really good gig. Like the who's who of like the dancey. It's so weird. It was really weird.

And so I was just like, you know what? And Max was so great. He was in California. We're still making music remotely, but he was always like, let me just go play these gigs. And I was like,

no, no. And then one day i was like you know fuck it and then when i finally said fuck it like shit really started taking off nice so it was good that i was able to kind of keep the momentum going and then he and his wife had their first baby and they were like we gotta move back here because all their family is here so it was cool so i kind of kept the ball rolling nice you know until they ended up back over here so it was just you solo for a while it was was. And then. So it went from a four piece group.

Yeah. To a one person outfit who wasn't in the original four pieces. Really weird. Wow. Yeah. But I wanted it so bad. I wanted it so bad. So it was really weird.

I was able to kind of make that work. So what kind of music did you do before Laser Bitch? I've always done dance music. Always. So I put out my first record in 1999. Nice. And yeah. Always, always done dance music always so i put out my first record in 1999 um and yeah i've always always done dance music yeah right on what uh what inspired you what it's like was dance music always your thing like as a kid you're always into that yeah pretty much always i've always loved dancing do you have any vocal training of any type of like singing and slightly so i did study under a pabody teacher for a little while.

Yeah. She was a bitch. Really? A laser bitch? No. She was just a bitch bitch. The worst kind of bitch. A double bitch.

Double bitch. Double stuffed bitch. Bitch with an extra side of bitch. Yeah. Yeah. She was not nice. I mean, I was paying, I was paying i believe god 65 an hour which in that 2002 i think is probably yeah 2002 that's like 67 yeah i mean she's probably like 100 an hour now but i

was you know paying 65 an hour i was 22 you don't have any fucking money you know what i mean and somehow i was able to come up with 65 bucks an hour and pay this bitch. She would answer her phone in the middle of her fucking lessons. And the meter's still running on that? So disrespectful. That's weird. Not okay. But I learned really valuable vocal lessons from her that I was

able to take and reuse. So at least there's that. And you can tell them to Mike and I for free right now? Sure. I mean, what were the vocal lessons you learned let's get down to why you're here what what uh what did she say what i don't know anything just technique because i never i was never using any sort of technique whatsoever i didn't know how to sing for my diaphragm from the diaphragm everybody's always talking about the diaphragm.

I don't really know what the hell that means, honestly. It's a really big deal. I know where it is, but I can't grasp. It's right next to the soul and the gallbladder. I can't grasp what you're supposed to do there with that thing. You've got to feel it in your gut as you're singing. Dave Grohl said a good sign is that he'll

burp a lot when he's playing live because he said it's Wow we need to have an auction we got to get you some money That sounds like a buck or a good t-shirt let's get my piranha diaphragm okay so yeah so how does that work you just you just feel it and you yeah you do okay so you learn how to breathe from your diaphragm and push up your diaphragm as opposed to properly singing the throat many people do exactly yeah that's right and see that's really interesting because you know everyone's, oh, don't smoke.

It's so bad for you. Guess what? It's not supposed to come from your throat. So smoking. Really? It doesn't have any effect? No. Maybe lung capacity.

But honestly, if you're doing it right. Right. You can sing from your diaphragm. Lots of singers smoke. They do. Get that gravelly tone. They do. But it doesn't matter.

Do you smoke, Libby? I have a love-hate relationship with cigarettes so bad. Yeah. Yeah, I smoke a lot. I have quit again, kind of. Yeah. So. Yeah.

My girlfriend goes through the same thing. It sucks so bad because I really, I catch myself and I'm like, I haven't smoked for two weeks. Oh, wow. And then I'll go out. I deserve a I catch myself and I'm like, I haven't smoked for two weeks. Oh, wow. And then I'll go out. I deserve a cigarette. What? I deserve a cigarette. Well, it's, you know, I'll just be like.

That was a good run. I need a cigarette. Oh, yeah. Or it's like, oh, shit, I have a pack of cigarettes in my car. Fuck it. And then it's like, it goes from smoking a cigarette on my porch before I go to bed to like in between accounts at work. Like I smoke during the day. I always have a rule like no smoking while the sun's up because I think that's positively disgusting.

Yeah, me too. And I can't like just the people that would wake up and smoke. When I walk my dog in the morning and I see people smoking, I just want to look at them and be like, just go fucking kill yourself. Yeah. Just do it already. Like you already like this is so disgusting. They're like, good to see you too, neighbor. yourself. Yeah. Just do it already. Like you already, like this is so disgusting. They're like, good to see you too,

neighbor. Yeah. Yeah. I really hate it. Yeah. I really, I think it's just the most disgusting. And it's funny cause I fucking,

I think it's nasty as shit. But you do it. And I hang out occasionally, you know, but I hang out with people and some of them smoke and I'm like, God, your fucking breath stinks. And then,

you know, I'm like, God, does my breath smell like that? And then I get all paranoid and I'm like, Ooh, it probably does. I'm like, that's really disgusting yeah and then i'm really just grossed out and then i just want to die oh well that's not that's not good because i don't

want to smell bad that's just so gross i'd rather die than smell bad pretty much i've been dead a long time ago libby give me preferable odor give me death uh i saw my my friend's mom uh yesterday and uh he lives in new jersey or he's from new jersey that's where his mom lives and he worked in maryland and that's where we met and now he's since moved to new york but she was in baltimore for a workshop she uh she works with uh she's a social worker so she works with kids and there was a seminar and like something like uh troubled kids or something it was at the baltimore uh child abuse center she was like they really should put a word like prevention in there somewhere because it really does it was really the

child abuse the baltimore child abuse center or something like that wow so so she was like but i would love to see you and amanda and have have dinner and it's like oh that'd be great and she was telling me a story of Over the summer we went up there and I left a shirt at his mom's house And she mailed it to me and she's like and Jackie and Michael were making fun of me because I said I know it's Josh's shirt Because it has his scent. They're like, you know Josh's scent It's like it's a good she's like I didn't say odor that's like all right there we go so you wear you don't wear cologne or anything I'm a right guard man actually

I don't know I do Old Spice yeah I don't wear cologne or anything so so what did she say your scent smelled like I didn't really dive too deep into it I don't know right she just said it wasn't bad huh good huh kind of having my own scent that's good so did you ask your girlfriend about yeah your odor I mean your scent I'm sorry you don't necessarily bad I don't think it is I think so you're like that girl's got a great odor yeah absolutely negative negative negative negative connotation 100 get on a girl at the bar what was that odor it's you girl and she's like fuck who farted odor fuck who farted yeah i don't know i just i was been wearing lady speed stick though

because i ran out of deodorant so that's my scent now i'm a lady speed stick guy i think so sorry sorry guys that odor there's nothing sorry about that okay fine so what's happening with music now what are you doing um what are you doing libby okay so got a couple things coming up um we have a new release on 410 Recordings. It's a brand new record label owned by Ultra Nite. She is an old school dance music pop icon. I don't know if you know. Do you know who Ultra is? Some people do. Some people don't.

She was a big pop star in the 90s. She had a hit called Free. Okay. Yeah. How did it go? Number one. Because I'm free to do what I want to do Mike, Mike

You got to live with your life I remember that one So do you remember the movie Studio 54? Yeah So yeah, she wrote all the songs for that And she was the one that performed at the end I didn't actually see it Because I hadn't seen the first 53 studios

Oh lord So I didn't know if I would get a Studio 54 Oh no, I never saw it Really? So That's my favorite joke ever Because I hadn't seen the first 53 studios. Oh, Lord. So I didn't know if I would get a studio. Oh, no. Really? So. That's my favorite joke ever. I'm glad you got to tell it. I'm glad you got to tell it.

Thank you. You're welcome for providing you with the opportunity. Yeah. So is she from Maryland? She is. Yeah, she is. She's from here. Perry Hall. What up, PH. Yeah, she is. She's from here. Okay. Perry Hall.

What up, PH? Yeah, Perry Hall. Yeah. So, and she's still very successful in the music industry. She still tours the world DJing and performing live. Very nice. She's still very big in Europe. Everybody's still big in Europe.

Well, that's what happens to a lot of our, you know, dance music. I mean, Stars, she had that big hit in the 90s, i guess they were never really able to right get a follow-up to that i mean she had billboard hits that were like i mean number one in the 90s that's fucking crazy like it's really hard to follow up with that sometimes yeah so but not in europe apparently i feel like everyone hit wonders i know this is so funny because that song is still kicking it was just um picked up by Weight Watchers Germany as their theme song. See, I want some shit like that to happen to me. That'd be

great. That's fantastic. I want to be famous in another country. For a song that she wrote fucking 20 years ago? Are you kidding me? That's incredible. Weight Watchers Germany. That's the kind of shit. It's funny because I got TweetDeck set up and my biggest record came out in 2002 and I still see like people like tweeting

about it. Really? And I'm like in other countries and I'm like, fuck yeah, retweet that shit. And I'm like, hi, thanks so much for the love.

Check out my new stuff, you know? And they're like, and they're like, Oh my God, is it really you? And then I'm like, fuck yeah,

I have fans. Like, and it's just so, but it is, it's very funny. Cause that song came out in 2002. I mean, Jesus Christ. That was like, fuck yeah, I have fans. And it's just so, but it is, it's very funny because that song came out in 2002. I mean, Jesus Christ, that was like a really long time ago. Yeah.

Really long time ago. Over a decade ago, yeah. Yeah. And that song still carries weight for me. Yeah. So the song is called Electro Freak and it was with my friend John B. He's a big drum and bass producer, DJ,

and Paul Ukenfold picked it up. I don't know if you guys knew who that is. Yeah, he's like one of the gods of dancing. He was at one time one of the biggest DJs in the world. Not anymore? I think he still probably is, you know. But at that time, yeah, he was like Madonna's tour DJ, doing some production for her, all that stuff.

So he heard the song and loved it and licensed the song from us for his great wall compilation nice so we're on there with like madonna bjork justin timberlake dave gahan from depeche mode makes me look really fucking cool nice yeah so good company yeah yeah it was pretty dope that was pretty laser bitch right yeah oh yeah yeah that was 2002 what name were you going under? Libby Pickin. How'd you come up with that? My full name. Okay. That's my parents came up with that, actually.

Oh, okay. Cool. Thanks, Mom, Dad. Thanks, Mom and Dad. Actually, my parents didn't even come up with Libby. Really? Because my name is Elizabeth. Right.

When did you start going by Libby? Oh, two or three. I think I was maybe two. Were the towers up or down? Oh, they were up whoa i my i had this best friend named larissa and she couldn't say elizabeth and somehow it came out libby which is an actual nickname for elizabeth yeah so and it just stuck and her name was larissa yeah right she's like i can't handle it i would really love to know what happened to larissa that pretty much

gave me my name when we were like two. Yeah, you guys don't talk anymore? I don't know, man. She was in Michigan. Long time guy. I was born in Michigan. Oh, really? Yeah.

Well, what brought you to Maryland? My dad got a job. Okay. Yeah. What's he do? Department of Justice. He's a lawyer. He was a lawyer.

He's retired. Yeah. Working for the man. I know what that's like. I know what that's like you know what that's like yeah yeah did he ever get accused of being a fat asian guy at his job not to my knowledge okay a lot of people go through it you guys i'm not the only one yeah i'm sure sounds so common it is a pretty common totally

don't feel bad we've all been there at one point or another. That old cliche. So back to what you were saying though. So anyway, Ultra has a party called Deep Sugar at the Paradox once a month.

What is the Paradox? I'm sorry. The Paradox is Baltimore's, I believe it's actually one of their longest running quote unquote underground club,

but it's not underground. Yeah. You know. And it's right by Camden Yards. Yeah. I think it's 1310 West Austin Street is the address. It's really freaky that I knew that by heart. But yeah, I mean, I'm an old raver.

So I used to go there and go to like fever and shit when I was 15. I like that. Back in my day, we wore UFO pants. And we were happy to do it. I wore breakdowns. UFOs were so... No. That's my limited knowledge of the Ravers scene. No.

So. Sorry. I didn't mean to offend. I'm sorry. So Ultra has this party. Yeah. And we're doing the record launch party on Saturday, June 8th. Word.

And I'm going to be performing one of my songs. Just one? Yeah. Just the one she's putting out. Oh, okay. So she's putting out a compilation? No. It's like a single with remixes.

Gotcha. Yeah. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. And now is that? It's actually Laser Bitch. Yeah.

It's actually Laser Bitch, which is interesting because generally most of the stuff that is put out separately is Laser Libby stuff or like collaborative things. Uh-huh, uh-huh. So it is a Laser Bitch song. Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah. Well, I hope it goes well. Thanks. It'll be fun.

Good luck to you because you are a super nice gal because I remember when we did our show, you were like, you guys are actually good. I play shows with a lot of people that aren't good you guys are good you guys are really good that was very nice so what's going on with you guys man i i had to quit the band oh that sucks his drug problem was getting out of control it was that or he gets my addiction to bahama yeah so no yeah josh was just too busy we're both like super busy it's really difficult and see that's what you know like we were saying about laser bitch we had five people in the group originally and then i actually quit my i had a corporate job and i quit my corporate job and was like fuck this shit i'm taking my band on tour and i got um a sponsor and an investor absolutely i was

so serious i had a whole month of shows planned for us up and down the East Coast. What happened? I don't think anybody in my band believed me when I said that this is what we were going to do. Right. And so when I called them. Why is it so strange for a band member to be like, hey guys, I got us some shows. Yeah.

Okay. I swear to God. Are we performing with the Loch Ness Monster? Yeah. Right? Right. Exactly. Just fly there on a magic carpet.

All right, Mindy. Anyway. I know, for your stuffed animals. Your cats, bitch. Whoa, that was just mean. Yeah, well, they're not in the band anymore.

Now we know why. That's the real story. So, yeah, so I had set up all these dates and literally everyone was like, oh, uh,

I can't take off that much time from work and i'm like jesus christ really so it didn't happen what yeah it was really frustrating you know what i should have just fucking done it myself i should have found a dj and should have just done the shit myself but like you know i hadn't i wasn't playing it's so hard to find committed work ethic people it's really difficult yeah i mean shit man even max and i like just the only reason why laser bitch has lived this long and we are never going to stop doing lizard bitch because we really enjoy it and we have a lot of fun yeah but we care like you have to be really invested and really care about it yeah and the people that show up for it are i feel like it's like that's

like you know 70 of people that want to do things just don't really show up. Yes. And then it just ends. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. And that's the thing. It's the same thing. He had multiple other band projects, too, and it was kind of the same thing.

Like, everybody I know wants to play music, wants to try comedy, you know, wants to do improv. Something creative. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, so many people I know, like, want to do it. But, yeah, the majority of people just don't show up. Yeah, absolutely.

I guess that's one thing I was excited. I'm so not like a commitment type person. What do you mean, like in general? Yeah, pretty much. And it's weird because I feel like I am so committed to my musical endeavors. I mean, and I've always been. I would say you have laser-like focus. Thank you. Thank you. I live here. Oh, shit here i'll be here all week thank you thank you no that's that's great that you can have

an outlet like that too like yeah for me like you probably saw it too working in the corporate world but working in like cubicle life it gets kind of sad and you're like what do you guys do outside of this oh my god you know like i worked for micros are you familiar with micros oh yeah like the restaurant yeah he had the point of sale system yeah yeah and this is the funniest story so after i quit um my friend christina and i went to earth treks to do try out rock climbing one day and it was we had like a hurricane or some shit and so it was real i know it was real i know it was real a fake wall. It was real nasty outside. I know, it was real nasty outside.

So anyway, Earth Trax was actually by the Micro's corporate headquarters where I used to work. And so as we were driving by, I was like, that's where I used to work. And it was so, I guess the way that the fog and the rain, the building looked like something out of fucking Silent Hill.

It was like lightning against the building. It was crazy shit. shit she was like oh my god she was that man was standing on the top stand i mean it was so bad it was so bad yeah you really like heard like the death the death knell as you drove by it was the most horrifying looking it was like this just like cloud of doogner starts playing it was so bad so bad but yeah so i will never forget that moment driving by and just seeing it looked like you know if it if it could have been swathed in blood it would have been blood but you know instead it was just mist but it looked really fucking creepy yeah it was very creepy well nice nice well i'm glad you got out of that creepy place um and then for sales with hair stuff, are you selling hair products?

So I'm a business... What else would it be? I don't know. Hair sprays? Yeah. Well, I mean, the hair industry is crazy. It's still a hair product. It's crazy.

It is crazy. I sell a lot of shit. Professional. Okay, let's work on your sales pitch. I'm like, hey, my name's Libby and I'm going to sell you some shit today. I got a car full of shit out there that I want you to have. I need to get it off my hands.

Pretty much. I have shit all over my hands. I'll be right back. Let's start over. Yeah. No, I never cuss in my accounts. I would be unprofessional. I would never say shit. Do you ever bring up your music life? No, I never cuss in my accounts. I would be unprofessional. I would never say shit. Do you ever bring up your music life?

No, I don't. And I actually have accounts that have found out about me. And that's super weird. And I come in and they're like, so. What's the big deal? We are watching your videos. So what's going on with music? And I'm like, fuck my life.

I don't want to talk about my music. I want to talk about how much money you're going to spend with me today. But you got to reel them in a little. Sometimes you do have to expose a little bit more of your personal life to get them to give a shit about you. And it's weird because... Then they trust you.

It's the truth. Yeah. So I don't know. I guess I just felt weird because that's a different part of my life. You want those things to be separate. Absolutely. And it's weird. And when I started the the job my supervisor got such a fucking kick out

of the fact that i did laser bitch so he would take me around to like potential accounts and be like oh yeah let me man she's a musician and i'm like shut up i don't want these people to know anything about me except for i love fucking hair products like seriously yeah no yeah i've had experiences at work like josh do some stand-up oh god no weren't you like told specifically to riff on something yeah do some jokes about pants like all right well if you're not gonna do stand-up like they were like they couldn't understand i was like no there's a context there's a reason why comedy clubs don't have fluorescent lights and they're not open at 11 35 in the morning and like you know there's this is not how it goes right they're like all right well just tell a joke i'm like no like a lot of them are pretty blue too like you know i'm not

gonna be like so anyways this fucking guy like we're at a meeting you know and then like well do some improv i'm like i'm not gonna improvise by myself like exactly yeah that would piss me off that would really well i've come into sales meetings before where like other employees were watching my videos on their mobile devices and i'm like weird weird weird weird weird and you hear like my song and i'm just like oh okay and do you just not acknowledge it i usually try to ignore it and And they're like, hey, Libby, we're listening to your stuff. And I'm like, fuck. That's cool. Yeah.

So. Yeah, I think it's probably because it's what we were talking about. They don't have that type of thing. So they're like, oh, my God, you're doing that? Yeah, exactly. Doing something besides watching reality shows and, you know, eating. You know, and this is really interesting, too, because one of my coworkers and I and i we did we've had this conversation before because he is a very successful musician as well and he does what i do he actually like pretty much he didn't like get me into it but when there

was the opening he called me and was like because i was doing music full-time for years and i was like the starving artist and i had a serious boyfriend at the time we were talking about buying a house and he was like maybe you should get a job and I'm like why would I do that you know because like my bills were paid um and he was just like because you know if you want to buy a house you probably need to have a job and I'm like fuck I guess you're right and so I was kind of toying with the idea and I really didn't want to get a job because like three years I wasn't working. I've made so much money with laser bitch and it's because I was able to totally focus on what I was doing. Yeah. That's awesome. So I haven't had that yet. That'd be awesome. I take that. The one, the one thing that was really difficult was that like you do get desperate and

it sucks. Like you'll take any fucking gig that you can for any amount of money because you fucking need it. And like the cool thing about me having a job is I'm not starving Yeah, and so I can really pick and choose like what what do I want to play right? And how much am I gonna ask I can ask for what I'm worth and get it right because I'm not fucking desperate Right more and it helps really something to be said for that Yeah, and you kind of do have the power of saying no So then that like helps your stock go up to you're not just doing like and there's really something to be said for that. Yeah, and you kind of do have the power of saying no. You're like, oh my. So then that helps your stock go up too.

Yeah, and that too. So you're not just doing like every shitty show. And that too. And that's the other thing too is because I felt like I was kind of oversaturating some markets too and I'm just like, this isn't cool. Were you doing just like the D.C., Virginia, Baltimore? I was traveling a lot.

Yeah. A lot, a lot. But I was getting the majority of my gigs here. So, and it was here. I was playing in New York a lot. Yeah. A lot, a lot. But I was getting the majority of my gigs here. So, and it was here. I was playing in New York a lot. I was playing in D.C. a lot. But, you know, a lot of times they were not good gigs. Yeah.

That sucks. Some of them were. Some of them were not. Yeah. When you do the out-of-state thing and there's like seven people there, you're like, fuck. Actually, the out-of-state gigs are usually really good. Nice. I was taking some

shitty gigs here because i needed the money even if it was 50 bucks i'm like fuck it i'll do it i need 50 bucks that's my bg and e like i swear to god which is so awful and then so i do songwriting for other people and i write a lot of hooks for rappers and things like that like you know my fucking dog would get sick and i would be up at the vet like crying on the phone with whatever producer or rapper owed me money like you have to come bring it up to the vet right now and my vet would just laugh and he'd just be like wow that's amazing and i'm like it sucks he thinks it's a novelty he's like no but seriously pay me or i'll kill your dog that's funny yeah so yeah luckily it's just nice to not have to worry about anything anymore.

Like it's really nice. So anyway, and that's kind of what happened. So my friend who had the job was like, hey, I know you're kind of sort of maybe thinking about getting a job. There is an opening in the company. I think you'd be really good. Yeah. Here's my supervisor's number.

Call if you're interested. Only call if you're interested. And I was like, okay. And so I called and met with the supervisor. He loved me. I met with the met with the supervisor. He loved me. I met with the director of the company. He loved me. And they offered me the job like a day later.

That's awesome. Yeah. Seems like a good fit too. Like are you working 40 hours a week or do you kind of make your own schedule? So I make my own schedule and every day is different. Yeah. But it is really, I mean, as far as jobs go, it's really not bad. Like I cannot sit in a cubicle. I can't sit in one place for nine hours a day.

You know, I'm in my car all day, but I'm in and out of my car all day visiting with accounts. So, and my job is 100% commission based, which I feel is actually more motivating because like, even when I was sick last week, this is the worst.

Cause I worked from home on Tuesday, Wednesday, I wanted to, but I was like, fuck this man. I got to fucking hustle. I got to make this money. So I did. And we just had this big ass hair show so you gotta follow up on that

Shit and like you really do And I'm like I know I'm gonna make a fuck ton of money This week if I get off my ass It sucks because I really didn't feel like it And then you feel like an asshole because you're sick And you're visiting accounts and you don't want to be That guy Exactly exactly I'm like trying to like hold in

My coughs and not blow my nose in front of people. I felt like the biggest asshole ever. Ever. I think it's so rude to be around people when you're sick. It's just not cool. But I had to work. Yeah, make that money.

Scared money don't make money. I did. That's what I always say. He does. He says it a lot. I really do. Really? I really do. Is that like your motto?

Yeah. That's how I got here, Libby. That's how I got here. That's right. In Chinese characters. It was the 90s. It was a different time. Oh, God.

And poorly Chinese characters. Yeah, that makes me so happy. I didn't start getting tattoos until 2007. Right. Because I feel like if I had gotten them when I was younger, everything would be a cover-up right now. Yeah. Right, right, right. Like the lower back tattoo or something like that.

Yeah, or a Chinese symbol. Symbol for strength. The tribal band. Yeah, exactly. Oh, God, those. Oh, yeah, the barbed wire. Oh, God. I want to get the Chinese symbol for regret tattooed on me.

I think that'd be good. That might be hilarious. Yep. Nobody would get it either. It's an expensive joke. No way. It's like 50 bucks. I got a puddle of mud tattoo

on my ankle I feel really embarrassed about. Really? No, not really. Lost a bet. Nah, I don't have any tattoos. I don't think I'm going to get any. That's totally okay.

Not with me. I'm not going to get any, all right? It's not going to happen. Maybe. There's just nothing I've found yet, guys. What about the digression sessions logo?

Yeah, I could get that. I should get that on my back. On your chest? Yep. Both. Oh, yeah, the front and then do a back view? Yeah, it could be their backs. Wow, absolutely.

Does anybody have tattoos like that? Probably. Like a front and a back. It's weird. It's really weird. My first big tattoo was the big tulip thing i have on my side and i remember when i got this i'm like nobody has this shit and i was dating a tattoo artist at the time and he was the one that gave me this tattoo and

he's like sure they do and i'm like no they don't my shit is so fucking cool and original like no one has this shit and like you know and he and he told me he was never gonna put in his book because he never wanted to you know do it on anyone else and we're still friendly sure as shit i saw on facebook like two months ago he gave this fucking tattoo to somebody else and i commented on the picture i was like i was like oh geez and he was like Stop He's like Yours is in color And I was like Fuck Like it just was so It was like

Salt in the wound You know what I mean It's a fucking tattoo It's not even just like A variation Same fucking tattoo Like same place too Like

No Luckily it was on Someone's arm or some shit But still But still Yeah No I'm with you You know what I mean

I hear you. That's some betrayal. For sure. For sure. I feel like he should have been like, I can't. Yeah, or at least let you know beforehand. Or at least change it up. Yeah.

Make it look different. Put a swastika in there or something. Have fun with it. You know? Yeah. Just make it different. Yeah, anything. You know, like write Puddle of Mud in there or something. You know, something fun. Digression session. That would be great. That make it different. Yeah, anything. You know, like right puddle of mud in there or something.

You know, something fun. Digression session. That would be great. That would be awesome. All right. So you're an animal lover? I love animals. You make some funny vines?

I like watching your vines. That's all my cat buddy. Or vine buddies. That's all bogey, man. Enjoy that. I've yet to get in on the vines. It's awesome. Yeah.

You need an iPhone to do it. You do. It's iPhone only. I can't do it. I've yet to get in on the Vine. It's awesome. Yeah. You need an iPhone to do it. You do. It's iPhone only. I can't do it with an iPod? An iTouch? Maybe. Maybe. iPad.

Do you have an iPad? No, just an iTouch. Oh. No. Probably not. I will never get an iPad. I don't see why an iTouch wouldn't work. I don't know.

You can try it. It does a bunch of things that an iPhone does. Then maybe. Yeah. Look for the app, man. I don't know. All right. What?

I don't own stock in Vine. I don't know. I don't own stock in Vine. I don't know. You're never well with that attitude. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I'll get there. I made a funny Vine before I came here. No, you didn't.

I totally did. What was it? It was me. I had my awesome new hair curling machine, and my cat's so fucking scared of it. It was awesome. I thought you were going to say you curled your cat's hair. No, my cat was so scared of it. Has anybody ever permed their cat?

No, that's really wrong Why is that wrong? Chemicals and shit Right, right Kill it What about like dying cats? Tied of a perm Sorry

What about dying cats? Yeah I mean, not like cats that are dying Yeah, no, I'm not cool with that either Because they lick themselves Right You know, most people generally do not lick their hair dye. Mike.

She said most people. Okay. And she said generally. Generally. Okay. Two safety nets. Right? For me.

One right underneath the other. A bunk bed of safety nets. Safety net and a tether. Yeah. I like making the vines. Little six-second sketches. It's fun. Right. I can get into that, I think. it's not in a tether yeah I like making the Vines little six second sketches it's fun right

I can get into that I think they're even cooler just because like you know Instagram I was so obsessed with Instagram as soon as I got an iPhone I was like

oh fuck yeah Instagram's the shit you know and you can just really kind of get an insight into someone's life by looking at their Instagram and Vine just takes it

to another level the next yep it does it really does it takes it to another level because The next, yep. It really does. It takes it to another level because it's like your pictures are now in motion. They're alive.

And you can hear that person's voice. How cool is that? It's like they're motion pictures. Yep. That's what they call them. Maybe. Motion pictures. Yeah.

I don't even know how I have followers on Vine, to be honest with you. Yeah. Because I just, mine are all like cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat. Dog. Cat, dog. Cat. like cat cat cat cat cat cat dog cat dog cat cat cat cat how many cats you have two two cats and how many dogs one okay anything else no not that i know of like a secret uh ferret or something i knowats. I know. Some silverfish under my bed. Ugh.

Ugh. Yay. Ugh. Bully. What animals do you like besides the ones that you got? Horses. Oh, yeah. Did you grow up with horses? I did.

I used to ride competitively. Really? Yeah. So did my girlfriend. No shit. Really? Yeah. You guys should have a horse race.

Yeah. I know, right? We'll go get them out of the barn out back. She is 25. Okay, we probably didn't compete against each other. Yeah, she was in Southern Maryland. You know, we might have. There's a chance.

We might have. No, no, no. Okay, sorry. No, no, no, no, no. That's what she meant by competitive horse racing, a.k.a. jousting. No, no, no. Do you think stuff like the Preakness and horse racing stuff is wrong? Yes.

Why? So does my girlfriend. Yeah, it's very wrong. Why, it's cruel? Yes, very cruel because it's an industry. It's solely there for entertainment and money. It's just like the circus. They don't treat the horses well?

Fuck no. They don't. Actually, it's funny. My Facebook status yesterday was in the spirit of Preakness. It was a whole article about what happens to the horses after they're done racing. Right. And it's sad. And I think a lot of people liked it and didn't really even fucking read it.

They're like, I like animals. You should put something up that's really fucked up and see how many people like it without reading it. I do that frequently. That's cool. Yeah, Amanda was telling me that like the horses

they're not really fully formed yeah like they're they're too young and so their bones aren't really formed yet so they're really like fucking up their bodies because they're racing so hard and that's why their legs break because their bones basically have to put them down do they put them down on the track no because not not not in this day and age yeah but it's not it's not viewed as like here as they're crossing the finish line last it's a part of the game that's what some of the owners have probably liked you they'd be like it's cheaper shit yeah you have to pay a bet a thousand dollar retainer to come out and fucking euthanize it that's insane

and then have it carted away to be you know so they don't shoot them at all then i mean they probably still do right somewhere some people yeah but i mean that's the thing i have a friend she has a farm in falston she used to save the old you know horses off the track because if she didn't then they were getting shipped off to the dog food plant. Damn. Yeah. Amanda told me that there was, she worked at a barn growing up and she said there was a horse that was so old

it had arthritis, it could barely move. And the vet was supposed to come to put it down. And when the vet arrived, they couldn't find the horse anywhere. I'm like, where did it go? It's just usually just laying there. And apparently it had jumped the fence and this horse can barely walk.

And it was by the grave site that they had for it, just waiting by that hole. Shut up. Yeah. Isn't that insane? So they put it down and, yeah. Oh, my God. Thanks. That's pretty intuitive.

Whoa. Yeah. Crazy, right? Oh, my God. Was it a coincidence? I mean, did it know that it was going a coincidence I mean the thing didn't know that it was gonna be buried there I think so no way it probably did man animals are smart shit they're intuitive you're really smart yeah but it's not

like months probably has that's what she gets so excited about she's barking like quiet daddy's watching TV like some sort of mathematical formula or like a theory Are they really that smart? She probably has. That's what she gets so excited about. She's barking like, quiet. Daddy's watching TV. Come up with some sort of mathematical formula or theory that no one else ever has. Maybe. I doubt it. She's like, oh, if I just had thumbs, I could write this down. I'm going to go run outside.

Yeah. But riding a horse, it doesn't seem fun to me. It seems scary. I see these beasts. I'm like, you're too tall, too much muscle. It's beasts. I don't trust them. It's awesome. Yeah.

It is so awesome. What's so great? What does it feel like? Oh, yeah. What's so great about a horse? What kind of feeling? It feels like freedom. It's crazy.

It's so amazing. Yeah. It's so amazing. Yeah, it's really amazing. Especially when you do it bareback where you don't wear any saddle or anything. This shit is crazy because you're literally just holding on by distributing your body weight. Right, right. How do you drive a horse?

How does it know how to drive a stick on a horse? If I ever had to make a getaway on a horse, I wouldn't know how to start the thing. You use your body weight. You adjust your mirrors. Yeah, you use your body weight, but it's really all in your legs. Can you parallel park a horse I wouldn't know how to start the thing your body weight just your mirror yeah body weight but it's really all in your parallel park of horse yes and you use your you use your leg come in how does it how does the horse know what to do like it has to be trained okay you have to train it okay how do you train and that that's difficult okay if I were like in a situation where I

needed to get away like maybe like 9-11 or something the only thing available was a horse how would it what would i do in the middle of new york city now you're you're fucked i'm picturing like one of those cops well i know first of all that's the other thing too because it's like by one of the terrorists and i need to make a getaway oh my god i have a baby with me yeah there's no way you would never be able to hold on to a baby and a horse if you've never been on a horse before. You would totally fucking fall off and bust your ass.

I left the baby behind because I got to get out of there. So what do you do to get it going? Oh, my God. To get it going. Do you ever have to hook it up to another horse to like... Jumpstart, yeah. Move the hooves. Oh, my God. No, you use your leg commands to like – Jumpstart, yeah. Move the hooves. Oh, my God.

No, you use your leg commands. You squeeze. Right, right. You squeeze with your legs. Okay. You do this. You go – Yes, and sometimes you use your voice commands.

Boom. But you should be able to use your legs, and if you're good enough with your leg commands, you can use all your legs and you don't have to do anything else. Right, right. Okay, so – It's pretty amazing. So you just like give it a nudge? Okay, so when you're sitting on the horse's back.

Right. Okay. Fake horse. You would squeeze it with your thighs. Right. And then you would kind of kick your heel behind its ribs. But both. So we're kicking the horse.

A slow, even pressure behind its ribs okay and you can just do a nice squeeze and that should get your horse to go but if you want your horse to fucking take off right right what about stopping oh no never mind i already know you go whoa well well pull on the uh the reins back it's just it's sitting back if it stops too quick Can you fly off of it? Does that ever happen? Yes That has happened to me before And that's probably

Happened to your girlfriend Yeah She had to go to the hospital Yeah Concussion Yeah She said her horse Was a real asshole

Yeah Horse riding is She said horses Can be assholes in general She's like One of the horses Bit my tit one time She's like

Luckily I didn't have Much of a boob at the time She's like 14 And it's just like Jump She's like what the hell Does she have a scar? Yeah It's pretty red No No I didn't have much of a boob at the time. She's like 14, and it's just like jump Does she have a scar yeah, it's pretty red no no she doesn't have anything I think she's got a It's terrifying so what is a nail growing in it?

Two horses crash into each other Like will the horse like what if what if you accidentally Like are ordering the horse To go Like in the direction Of another horse Will it stop automatically Is it like a smart car That'll like stop I mean it depends Or will it do

Whatever you tell it to do It just depends on your Relationship with the horse And you know How smart the horse is Would it stop In Like at a brick wall

Or something If you If you tell a horse To do something, will it do it all the time? Not all the time. It depends. It depends.

I mean, that's how we get thrown. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Okay. Because I have had that happen. Yeah. Amanda had a friend, too, that was riding a horse.

The horse bucked and threw her off. Yeah. And then it kicked her. It kicked her so hard, her contact flew out. Well. That sounds awful. I had a friend. This is my worst horse story. I was 11

9 And same thing I used to work at the barn I was there 24 7 when I was a kid and this I was all my entire summer before school after school like that's yeah That's a writing team all that shit. Yeah. Yep She's actually like I like the smell of horse poop it reminds me of being young yeah yeah totally right it's weird it's fucking freaky but it is what it is so that being said my little friend her name is melanie she was kind of like a horseback riding prodigy and i was was in awe of this kid child because she was younger than me and she was better than i was and i've been riding longer than her and you're in the double digits but anyway

so we had a really ornery old racehorse that my trainer owned. And occasionally we would get to work with him. And so Melanie was the one that was in charge of working with him. His name was Willie. And so my trainer had sent Melanie out to get Willie. And she had been gone for a really long time. And so I was kind of like. Hey, nine-year-old.

Go get that ornery. Where the fuck is, you know melanie and willie and so i go out to the field and i see this fucking horse jumping up being crazy and had the lead line on and she's flying around i'm like oh god where's melanie then i see her laying in the field and i'm like this can't be good and so i run all the way back up the hill and get my trainer and i'm like oh something's not be good. And so I run all the way back up the hill and get my trainer. And I'm like, oh, something's not right. And so they ended up having a fucking medevac. Apparently, I guess she went to, you know, she clipped the lead line and she got him. What's the lead line?

So it's like the rope that you clip to their halter. The halter is the piece that they wear over their face. Gotcha. Gotcha. So she clipped it to his face. And I guess something spooked him. And he reared up, and his front elbow caught her under her jaw. Upper cut it.

And it was like bam, bam. So it broke her collarbone in three places. Whoa. It broke her jaw in four places. Yeah. So the medevac came. Jesus Christ. She was spitting out teeth, and thets are like like putting teeth bloody teeth in my

hand they're like she might need these and i'm like oh okay at least you get some money from the tooth fairy i mean it was like the craziest experience ever ever it was the i mean we were so young and they fucking flew us off to the hospital what why did the emts take the teeth with them i think i had to hold them temporarily they were just trying to stabilize i know they were trying to stabilize poor melanie because she a bad idea. Can you take these? I know. They were trying to stabilize poor Melanie because she was shocked. I lose everything. You better hold on to those. I know, right?

So, yeah. And it was weird because I'll never forget. My mom has this whole pull order of me visiting Melanie in the hospital. And Melanie wrote me this fucking card that was like, dear Libby, thanks for saving my life. P.S. Can I have my teeth back? Right? And I'm like, oh, my God.

That's so weird. Your teeth and your mouth look pretty familiar. I know. You have an extra row of teeth. Nope, they're all mine. I mean, this poor nine-year-old had her fucking jaw wired shut. Yeah. I had my jaw wired shut once.

Oh. I was like 19, 18, maybe. Horse-related accident? Yeah, we'll say that. Hey, did you have to carry around pliers in case you threw up or something? No, I threw up with my... What? Hatedly, yeah. Really?

Oh, yeah. Did you almost die? When I threw up? When you had your mouth wired. No, I didn't almost die. Can't you not open your mouth? No, I actually went a few days without doing anything. I was just like, oh, my fucking jaw hurts. Am I missing something?

No, my jaw got broken. Uh-huh. And I had it wired shut. Huh. Yeah. Well, yeah, Dwayne go to the doctor for a few days. So I was like, oh, I hope this gets better. I can still feel it.

It hurts so bad. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, Jesus Christ. Well, no, Dwayne, the guy that works at Paper Moon, he said when his mouth is wired shut, if you throw up, it's going to get stuck in your mouth. But all you eat is liquid, so there's nothing. Maybe if it was the next day or two after you got it.

Anyway, he said he walks around with wire cutters in case he had to. I threw up repeatedly while my mouth was wired shut. Okay. That was pretty awful. Alright, I'd like to go out on the positive notes on this show. Your friend, too.

She's like this nine-year-old girl. She's like, I love horses. Just like wrecks her. Did she ride again after that? Absolutely. Yeah, totally. Get back on the horse. Yep, gotta get back on. just like wrecks her well did she ride again after that absolutely yeah yeah totally yeah horse yeah gotta get back on isn't that the saying yes back on the horse yes you gotta get back on wow so she should have used like a different example like yeah you gotta get back on the uh surfboard you gotta get you gotta get back on the uh bobs. I don't know. Yep. Help me out here.

You got to get back on the elevator. There's no off position on this elevator. The living car. You know, like horseless carriage is what they call cars, I think. Right? Yeah, they didn't call it a living car. I was trying to switch it up with the horse thing. Libby, you know what I'm talking about here?

Yeah, you know, so we can talk. I have another gig we can talk about coming up. Hey. We can move on. Hey, you assholes. I'll plug it in the beginning of the show, too. Oh, thank you. But, yeah, so we can double down. So I'm playing the 8x10.

Yes. Good venue. Yes, for the Maryland Animal Sanctuary. Their annual Mutt's for Music, Music for Mutt's benefit. Music for Mutt's is what it's called. That's awesome. So this is the third year in a row that I've played. Yeah, so it's Saturday, June 15th at 8 by 10.

And I'm doing an acoustic set, which is really exciting. Interesting. Wow. Do you do that regularly? Only when asked. And since, you know, I don't play guitar, I have a friend, Naveed. He's fucking amazing. Yeah.

So he's learned all of my electronic dance music songs on guitar. It is the coolest thing ever. And acoustically, like acoustic dance music. It's so fucking cool, you guys. Is there drums? The coolest. No. Just guitar and you?

He just kicks ass on guitar and I just sing and it's so badass. It's really cool. Yeah. So this is the third year in a row that we've done it for them. it's so badass. It's really cool. Yeah. So this is the third year in a row that we've done it for them. And I love that because that's where I got my dog and my crazy cat from that rescue. And when is that? That's June, Saturday,

June 15th, June 15th. Yeah. Awesome. Well, I'll plug that in the beginning and then we can follow you on Twitter at laser Libby on with a Z and Instagram instagram instagram same shit um friendster myspace no linkedin christian mingle laser libby nambla.com christian mingle mike's just plugging

the one that you're offended by is christian mingle i know. You know what's funny? My friend, Tim, he sent me a text. It was when we first became friends, and I sent him my phone number, and he never, like over Twitter, never responded. Right. And I was like, oh, okay. Two months later, I get this text message, and it was like, hey, this is Jebediah from Christian Mingle. And I was like, the fuck?

What? And then I remembered. Jebediah. I remembered. I was like, the fuck? And then I remembered I remembered, I was like, that's fucking Tim, man. Because it's something we talked about and I was like, oh, you almost got me. Yeah, he thought that was funny. He thought that was funny. Awesome.

Well, thanks so much for joining us. It was a lot of fun. Thanks for having me. It was so fun. Yeah, come back. I mean, you live not too far from here, right? So close. Yeah. Literally, it was exactly seven minutes. Boom.

Exactly. Yeah, we'll come chat it up. And yeah, come back. It'll be fun. It'll be so fun. Maybe come out to your shows. Maybe come out to our shows. Maybe.

We never know. We have a lot of shows coming up. Absolutely. When is June 18th? It's the big one, the night of digression sessions. And that's going to be. Sean Bolins in Bel-Air. I believe it's Bel-Air.

Oh, whatever. They changed it. And you can follow Mike Moran on Twitter. Yes, you can. At Michael Moran 10. I'm at Better Robot Josh, and the podcast is at Dig Sesh Pod. And thanks, everybody, for listening. We love you. Thanks, everybody. And thanks, everybody, for listening. We love you.

Thanks, everybody. And thanks again, Laser Libby. Thanks. Thank you, Laser Libby. Thank you. Yeah. Okay, that's the end. Yay. That was so fun, guys.

Thanks. Yeah. Bye. Bye. Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok