The Digression Sessions - Ep. 79 - Justin Hancock! (Color Me Funny)

Episode Date: June 24, 2013

Hola DigHeads! This week on the Digression Sessions we have Justin Hancock, another very funny gentleman from that Color Me Funny crew. Justin has been doing standup in and around Baltimore and Bel Air, Maryland for the last few years, as well as acting in those hilarious CMF shorts (I’m talking about video not clothing). On this episode we discuss Justin’s brief stint as an EMT, the reality of the ol’ “weather makes my knee hurt tale,” exactly how Justin was made fun of in school, and so much more. Plus Justin and Josh square off to see who’s ankles are the most swollen! We had another funny and interesting conversation with Justin and we are getting our awkward silence ration down to a solid .5% or so! Keep those comments on the website coming (I’m talking to you, everyone who isn’t Mike Turpin) and please leave us a review on iTunes. Also, did you know we are on Stitcher now?! Where have you been?! Thanks for the support everybody! Love you! Josh Kuderna - Vine Follow us on Twitter! @Justin_Hancock @BetterRobotJosh @MichaelMoran10 @DigSeshPod @ColorMeFunnyMD

Welcome to the Digression Sessions Podcast. Hey everybody, I'm Josh Koderna. And I'm Mike Moran. And you're listening to the Digression Sessions Podcast. A Baltimore-based comedy talk show hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers. Join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence as we interview local and non-local comedians writers musicians and anyone else we find creative and interesting

yes who's the guest this week justin hancock is our guest on this week's program. And God damn it, we are excited to have him. Right, Mike? Very kind, young man. Had a great time with him. He's extremely kind, and he's just as funny as he is kind. He is.

And intelligent. Yes. And handsome. Yeah. And he has a dirty word in his name. Uh-huh. See if you can spot it. Justin.

I get it. I get it. And yeah, so we talked to Justin all about pseudoscience, how he started comedy. Yeah, there's a big argument about barometric pressure affecting broken bones. No? Okay. Well, we do talk about it. Yeah, I bones. No? Okay. Well, we do talk about it. Yeah, I guess we do.

Yeah. So, yeah, why don't you respond to that controversy, R-E-E, regarding broken bones and the storms and barometric pressure. On Twitter, at DigSeshPod, that's us. I'm at BetterRobotJosh, my confidant, my co-pilot. When Jesus calls out sick, Mr. Mike Moran. He's at Michael Moran 10.

And Justin is at Justin underscore Hancock. And he runs with them Color Me Funny Boys. So you can check out all their web shorts and upcoming shows at ColorMeFunnyMD.com. And they're also Colorormefunnymd on Twitter. And as far as your favorite pair of earbuds go, we got some shows coming up too, right? I believe we do. What? What?

Yeah. Oh! Yeah. I do believe you. I do. I'm just excited about it. Yes, you are. It's so hard doing the intro like

after the energy is like wound down from the yeah show you know yeah and you you've worked all day as well but anyway dig heads god god bless mike moran doing doing the intro uh but you are going to be in new york this weekend a part of the dell close marathon I will be there. Yeah, 8 o'clock. Yes, sir. Do you know what theater you're going to be at? No. Okay. So go to Del Close. I believe it's DCM. It's 15.

DCM15.com. Look up Mike's Fabulous Troupe, Population 6. Go see those guys Saturday, 8 o'clock, somewhere in the New York area. Probably. It's a small town. You'll figure it out. They don't really do improv much there. You'll probably just see me walking this. Yeah, you'll be able to find them. And I will

also be in New York this weekend, so we're going to try to put out an episode next Monday. We'll see how it goes. It might have to just be a host episode, which is still fun. And you can see me also June 25th at the Auto Bar, a part of Chuckle Storm. It's their big three-year anniversary with Dan and Alex.

There's going to be some great guests, including Jen Wozner of Y-Oak, DC comedian Ruth Rasby, Adam Freeland, and some surprise guest sketches. Come on out, 8 o'clock, 5 bucks, great show. And July 12th, I'll be doing some improv with Chinese Menu Comedy at the DC Arts Center. Awesome.

So hell yeah. And then I'll be playing drums, filling in with Polaroid Rage, Mike's band on July 20th at Joe Squared. Come out to that, and that'll be a part of Artscape, I'm pretty sure. So yeah yeah good times alright so yeah let's get into our conversation with Justin and I hope you enjoy it if you really do enjoy the show

we appreciate you listening and if you could just tell a friend or give us a rating or a comment on iTunes we really really appreciate it but just in general thank you so much for listening Dig Heads we love you bye bye Appreciate it. But just in general, thank you so much for listening, Digheads. We love you.

Bye-bye. I think there's a billion people in China alone. Yep, that's true. Are there other countries over there? Are there? You figured Asia and China were the same thing? I just figured it was the same thing. Kind of like Russia and the Soviet Union. China's just Asia.

That's all it is. Anybody knows that. It's like Australia. Yeah, that's right. It's a continent and a country. I feel like the Middle East should get its own continent. Probably. I don't think Asian.

Yeah. When I see a person of the Hindu persuasion, I do not think, oh, they're from Asia. Oh, yeah? I certainly don't think that about Russians either. No. Although, weirdly, most of Russia is in Asia. Asia just encompasses too much yeah although it doesn't really matter because i really don't give a shit about national pride or anything like that

like why would you yeah it's getting harder to with all the perspective and scope that we have in today's world it's harder to to be like, I love America over other countries. I just don't understand. What did you do? America's the greatest country in the world. We beat the Germans. You didn't beat the Germans.

I beat a German at Nintendo. It was a young boy. It was online. In Modern Warfare 2. Therefore, I beat the Germans. I kicked his fucking ass. USA.

Yeah, I just don't understand that heritage. Pride in your heritage. I think it's like an old-timey thing that's harder to do in today's world where we understand that other humans are also humans yeah it just breeds nothing but resentment i mean i like yeah i know yeah i mean i like america i like our system for the most part but uh i don't feel like i i love some guy in idaho more than like some kid and no you know i give equally no shit about I am equally indifferent

towards all humans. A lot of the America loving and the rest of the world hating was from propaganda too. They didn't even pick the propaganda from 1986. The reckoning.

You can't be just moving all around the room. You don't mind if I... Sitting in the corner thinking the microphone's sticking your head out the window. Every time I get in a chair, I just gotta... You look very comfortable. Do you have lower back problems?

Do you have a jukebox that I can punch when it skips, though? Yeah, it's in the corner. Theater of the mind. The F corner okay cool theater of the mind the felse point corner theater of the mind there it is local references all right so we had justin jones on the podcast last week china is not local sorry continue uh yes she is have you seen uh local wrestler china the wrestler now porn star porn star? Yeah, she did Well, she does is like gangbang stuff

Oh, yeah, it's nothing but multiple penises and and it's all in the frame of like WrestleMania We're not talking about a sex tape that got leaked. No, no, no Yeah, it's for... She got leaked. One. Into. Yeah. Many times. Wow.

She meant to do it, and people were supposed to see it. It wasn't an accident. No. You would hope so. When I saw it, I really hoped. I was like, maybe she just fell onto that penis and someone was... Like when she walked out of the end, she's like, this isn't the Dairy Queen. 30 accidents happened right in a row.

Bunch of tons of little penises. That was the weirdest game of laser tag I've ever played. This is not my day. Oh, well. Oh, I guess I'll call Xbox. She has. What? Who's part of D-Generation X?

Xbox. Xbox. Oh, yeahGeneration X? Xbox. X-Pac. Oh, yeah. I'll call Xbox. He was an early wrestler. Just a guy in a cardboard box. Talk about propaganda. Shameless plug for Xbox.

That was horrible. He would win every match. Have you tried the new Elite system? I heard it's great. What? It comes with two controllers and a game in the bundle pack. Wow.

Do you have a duck hunt? It doesn't have a fucking duck hunt, Mike. Alright. There's a power club on it. The dance pad. Did you ever have that? I played with it once. I did not have it. Yeah, I didn't have it either. Seems stupid.

There wasn't much to it. Yeah. We played the, what was the game? Like Track and Field 2. Do you remember that one? With like the running and stuff. But you would just sit there and do it with your hands. Yeah, we found.

Yeah, when you're that age, you think you're beating the system by finding a way to like win the game. You're just cheating yourself out of burned calories. Right, yeah. So we're like, you know, finding ways to make it go super fast. I'm the best at Nintendo. No one gives a shit anymore. Our parents got a call from the president of Nintendo. We got in trouble.

Your kids have been cheating. It's-a me. Your son's a cheater. Yeah, we got suspended. Like I was saying, we had Justin Jones on the podcast last week And now we have another Justin Mike Wow Can you believe it?

Can you believe it? You write that all out here I wrote it down Hey get it straight Mike Two Justins in a row I don't know if that's allowed by iTunes. I think we'll be able to get it in just in time. Yeah.

I hate birth view. Oh, okay. Hey, great podcast. Thanks for stopping by, Justin. Justin Hancock. Mr. Sunburn. How the hell are you? I'm doing well. Okay. Sunburn's almost... It peeled yesterday. It started peeling yesterday. Why do you the hell are you? I'm doing well

Why do you have a sunburn? I went to Deep Creek Lake for my friend's bachelor party and we decided I went tanning and got your nails done You can't put on sunscreen We went to Sunseekers I could have, I didn't though

It wasn't really a choice I didn't, though. It wasn't really a choice. I didn't know. With that pale Irish skin, you're going to have skin cancer before you're 30. I probably already have it. I had something removed just a few years ago. Foreskin. Yes. Mike's Jewish.

Fortunately, the cancer was on my foreskin, so now I just put it on. That would be so easy. That's a very convenient piece of melanoma right there. Bad news, stage four. Good news, on the foreskin. Yeah, we'll just get rid of that. No problem. Get rid of that bad boy.

Be in and out. And your dick will look cool. Good news is it's on that stupid tattoo you got when you were 19. That'd be fortunate. So anyway, you were at a bachelor party. Yeah, we went to Deep Creek Lake set and then we went kayaking uh-huh and we were literally kayaking for maybe 25 minutes and i got the worst sunburn i've ever gotten my life like on my legs on your ankles on my ankles which were swollen and look like a pregnant woman's ankles oh why were they swollen I don't probably

because I did severe damage to my skin I don't think your skin gets swollen from it shouldn't poisoning it shouldn't but for some reason my ankles reacted that way yeah I don't I don't know maybe I just I actually just have fat ankles and i'm like oh it's the sunburn guys it's the sun even though when they're pale as they usually are they're still fat you're just always looking for excuses it's been raining a lot i think my ankles are waterlogged a little you retain they don't agree with spring summer fall or winter weird how people think that like they can feel pains based on the rain you can yeah you cannot you can't it's like my knee hurts i think it's gonna rain it's pressure it literally oh my god

it literally has to do with barometric pressure oh please oh sorry forgot forgot that we're in the no science zone yeah right the no science zone yeah we're in the no pseudoscience zone that's not what are you talking Barometric pressure is a real thing. Yeah, barometric pressure makes your knee hurt. How does that? If there's less pressure, if you go, that's what people do. If you can't handle barometric pressure, how are you going to handle the pressures of show business? How are you going to handle peer pressure?

Why are you looking at me? Because it doesn't apply to Justin. You're always complaining about your knee. I can't perform tonight. My knee. It's my knee, you guys. But why do they do exercises in the pool then? Because it's less pressure.

You're not in a flood when it's raining necessarily. Sometimes you are. No, I'm saying the system, the weather system builds pressure. Yes. Which causes compression in the water that is completely different than being on the planet Earth when it's going to rain. They're two separate things.

Okay. Yes, they're two separate things. So the barometric pressure, most people can feel it normally when they've had like an injury or something. Like my friend who broke his ankle, he can definitely feel it because his ankle's fucked up, so there's definitely more pressure that he could feel from the sky.

I'm not defending it well. The sky gods are sending pressure to his ankle. Dude, it's raw. What are you like in the early 1900s? Like, okay. You are. No, it's true. Barometric pressure is easily measured.

You guys are repeating a very common myth. I think you're a little testy because you haven't been leeched recently. Have you been going and getting your leeches done? Oh, that's the thing. We've got to put some holes in your head. Let the demons. I think these are the demons talking. You know, you've actually touched on two pseudoscientific things that are slightly scientific.

Leeching the the leeching thing can get infections out and uh cutting a hole in your head will relieve you of i think all headaches for the rest of your life so yeah death tends to get rid of most headaches no no you can survive that well yeah what was uh uh watching something on Netflix. Oh, Jeffrey Dahmer. Like, they have that whole series of serial killers, and there was one guy. Like, the cheap, like, direct-to-video movies. Actually, Jeremy Renner was in it, which was weird. It's one of his early roles. Yeah, I watched some of those, like, way back in the day, like in 2000 or something.

And I remember they were all pretty terrible, but I remember that one being very, very creepy, at least in the first scene. It was. Yeah, because there was one guy that he would drill. He drilled a hole into his frontal lobe. Right. And then he would put, like, hydrochloric acid or, like, hot water in there and, like, pretty much lobotomize him. Yeah. And then snuggle with him, too.

Be like, yeah, we're in love. Yeah. I mean, I guess if you're going to drill a hole in someone's head, like, the least you can do is snuggle with them. Yeah, that's true. That is the least least you could also take him to the doctor i'm glad we all agree on that parametric pressure i don't think we're gonna see eye to eye with something you drill a hole into it's a we're on the same page point there's no myths and snuggling and that guy escaped too right yeah and then the and then uh he went to the police. And the cops returned. Yeah. Because Jeffrey Dahmer was like, okay, drunk gay guy.

There were two ladies who were like, no, that guy is fucking like 13 and can't speak English. And Jeffrey Dahmer was like, no, he's my 19-year-old boyfriend. But I'm pretty sure it was because the two women were black. And the police were like. Now that's science. Okay, gay guys. Yeah. And if phrenology has taught us anything, black people are more trusting, especially white people.

Mm-hmm. Right. Speaking of true science. Yeah. Okay, good. Because we've never fucked them over. No, no, no. All the people we've fucked.

Yeah. It's not them. Yeah, that's the thing, too. When are white people going to get a break? You know? I know. Look at history. I'm really tired of being a white man.

I'm just getting griefer. It's so tough to be a white male American. I am, like, really glad that I'm not anything else, like a woman or a minority. Because I think I'd be furiously angry all the time. Like, I get angry when anybody, like, disrespects me at all. And that barely ever happens because you're a white male exactly exactly so i'm really lucky i'm not anything else because i think i'd just be a ball of fury constantly and i know i'll do it like like i'm not misogynistic

but like a woman will make a point and i'm like she's just fucking complaining and like it's just because i've been right that's been ingrained into my head like well, women don't make good points. Don't listen to them. And then I hate myself for it. So I feel like there's some balance. We're cavemen trying to adjust to the modern world.

Sounds like the logline for a modern This is probably the caveman sitcom. The guy co-acting the caveman. Oh, it's the new show, The Thalls. Yeah, that's right. Do you remember when they made a sitcom? Yeah, that was the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

It wasn't off the Geico commercial? Was Nick Kroll in that? Yeah, he was one of them. Really? Yeah, that's pretty bad. But back to broads, it's pretty crazy to think they've had the right to vote in this country for less than 100 years. I know. Isn't that insane to think about?

Like, what? Well, what? How old is this? Our country is technically 500. No. Columbus came over here 500 years ago, but we've been a country since 1776, I think. Well, that was the Declaration of Independence. Yeah, I think that's...

But there were colonies before that. Yeah, but we were declared independent 1776. So, yeah. A good two in a court. Yeah. But I watched Lincoln. By the way, welcome to history. Double buck 25.

History 101. Yeah. Soaking wet. History, science. This is an educational pod. I'm going to file it in education in iTunes this time. Right under the magic school bus. Right.

People just listen to us be adults. When was this country founded again? Propaganda. I don't listen to women because they have stupid brains. But did you guys see Lincoln? Did you watch that? I did. I shamefully have not, even though my father is in it. Oh,'s right that's his dad your daddy that's his dad ddl is

your daddy and actually his extra d is for daddy ddl ddl triple dl uh but no the part where they're like well if we if we uh have free black people uh what's next? We'll have women vote? And everybody's like, oh, no. Oh, that's crazy. And then it devolves into people having sex with animals. Yeah. That was the director's cut of the film. Lincoln.

Fucked livestock. Yeah, it was good. Okay, cool. Yeah, it was good. Okay. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. I need to see it. Right.

I don't know. I don't know if I have the attention span right now. I mean, I like a good talkie docudrama, but right now I'm just not in the mindset for it. No. Who's going to now? Yeah.

What was your mindset? I mean, I think when I'm, when I'm in a state where I'm like anxious and restless, I just need like, I just need something stupid. Yu-Gi-Oh. Huh? Yu-Gi-Oh.

Yu-Gi-Oh. Yu-Gi-Oh. What is that? Like anime. I don't know. When I'm anxious, I just like to watch colors flash out of my eyes. Who needs Prozac when you've got Akira? Akira!

It puts me in a nice seizure, so it takes my mind off of it for a while. Yeah, something about biting my own tongue. It gets rid of all the anxiety because I can just feel them washing away. You can't be worrying about the future when you're bleeding out of your mouth. It's true. It's true. It's true. That should be a bumper sticker.

Yeah. I would put that on the back of my Nissan Versa. Is drive mm-hmm how was that car it's it's good I got it about four months ago it's been uh-huh done me good okay I had a friend that had a verse it fell apart on him one day he was driving then just cool it just started leaking into the car okay I was like, oh, okay. I don't know if that's user error or not, but, you know. I don't know. Was he punching holes in his coolant tank?

He has a giant foot. You didn't say not to. And he would just kick. How am I supposed to know not to kick holes in it? It's not in the user's manual. Jesus Christ. Fucking Nissan. I should sue them for fucking up my Nikes. I should have bought American.

I took a screwdriver to the gas tank. What's the big deal? How is that going to mess the car up? I don't get it. How was I supposed to know? They didn't tell me not to. Oh. And you were coming from work?

Where do you work, Justin? I take care of mentally disabled people. So I work. Yeah, but what is your job? No, I'm just kidding. Go ahead. We're having fun. No, I do.

I work with, I take care of two brothers. They're both, one is autistic and the other is mentally disabled. Okay. And I kind of just take them out during the day, do whatever they want to do, and then drop them off at home and go part ways. How many days a week do you do that? Fucking six. Really?

Yeah. How long days a week do you do that? Fucking six. Really? Yeah. How long are those days? Usually take care of both of them in a day. Like during the week, Monday through Friday, I'll take one out. And then when the other gets home from work, take him out. And then Saturday, Sunday, they each get their own day. Oh. Wow.

So it's. That's a lot. It. Oh. Wow. So it's a. That's a lot. It's trying. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You told me on Tuesday you almost got in a fight or one of them was challenging you. Oh, yeah. We almost came to fisticuffs.

Is that the first time? With him? Yes. With the other one, we've. It never came to blows, but there are times they just get so fucking upset like they can't process their anger right so they are they immediately go to like violence like and that's a big part of autism is like uh routine right is that like oh they're super regimented and so like when that's thrown off they can't handle it or Oh, yeah. Or, like, can't process it. Was that part of it?

The part of it. We don't watch Wapner. And to go to Kmart to buy his underwear. And I was like, Kmart isn't a fucking store anymore. It's a big K, buddy. I couldn't handle it when they changed it. I would hate to see what happened to Rain Man when they changed it to big K. Go on.

No. No. No, not a big K. Can't do. I just won't wear underwear anymore. I just won't changed it. I would hate to see what happened to Rain Man when they changed it to Big K. Go on. No. No. No. Not a Big K. Can't do. I just won't wear underwear anymore. I just won't do it. Oh, what was it?

We had went to, it sounds insane because it kind of is, but we had went to the firehouse to get information from them the previous day. And then he has like, he also has kind of like bipolar some maybe some schizophrenia in there okay so he like he will thinks he hears the voice of the mat like the mask they wear when like they fight their self-contained their sbca mask or whatever and uh he thinks he hears like the sound of it like the the breathing of it in his head and like then because he was just acting some days he's just grumpy and in bad mood so i thought he was just being shitty and then uh we went to my house because we were gonna go swimming and he was like can i have a snack and i was like sure and i was like we didn't have exactly what he wanted so he

just fucking flipped shit and like started pushing me and i was like, we didn't have exactly what he wanted. So he just fucking flip shit and like started pushing me. And I was like, fine, we're going home. And then we were in the driveway and I was like, go in the house and go in your room. And he was like, no. And he doesn't just say no. He screams everything when he's mad. So you have that level of intensity to it. Yeah.

And and then he started like came after me and started pushing me. And I like a cock back. I was like, I'll do it, dude. I'll pushing me. And I, like, I cocked back. I was like, I'll do it, dude. I'll do it. If I have to, I will do it. And then eventually, like, I was like, what's wrong? What's going on? He just broke down.

He's like, the firefighters are scaring me. I hear them talking. And I'm like, all right, buddy. And then we were literally. So don't take him to the Slipknot concert. Yeah. I don't want to fucking go to a Slipknot concert. Actually, I would go. It's high and mighty over here. Continue. I don't want to fucking go to a Slugnaw concert. Actually, I would go.

It's an eye and mighty over here. Continue. I don't want to go because I've been to so many, so I'm just done. Done with, what's his name, Corey? You're done with the knot. Okay. Clown. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Seven really gets on my nerves these days, I got to admit. Mick? Yeah, not a fan. Not a fan of that guy. Was Mick seven? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Uh-huh. Wow. Yeah. What's that? gets on my nerves these days i gotta admit mick yeah not a fan not a fan of that guy was mick seven yeah really yeah that uh-huh wow yeah what's that yeah they're like all numbers oh yeah you were you were making fun of justin for backing away from the mic keep backing up uh all right i'm

sorry continue what were all the uh slipknot guys yeah i probably do remember most of their names, if not all. What was the point of the guy on the fucking rotating conga set? There were two of those, and it wasn't congas. It was just drums, and he also had a K. And a Latin steel drum. Just like speed metal. Break it down. Under the sea.

Like redneck white trash. Like, yes! Fucking sick. Call me Jimmy Buffett, man. I love this shit. Yeah. I remember I tried to play. I tried.

I play guitar. And I tried playing a Slipknot song one time because it was in Guitar World. Wait and bleed, probably. Probably. And I was like, just tune it down to like fucking C. R. Fucking Q minor. Oh okay cool.

And I was like these are just rubber bands now. It seemed like there was like an arms race in the early 2000s to see who could tune their guitars the lowest. I remember seven string guitars were a huge thing and then the guy the guy from a sugar said seven string guitars are for pussies and he played an eight

string guitar really yeah it's fucking insane oh i thought you i thought he was saying like oh good just go with the six string you go with the six string classic man nope no no but a Swedish metal band yeah i remember them um but but they they put higher strings on them, correct? No, lower. Really? Yeah. It's like edging into bass territory. So with a six-string bass, those are lower strings as well?

No, it's the other way. So that goes closer to guitar. So those get higher, I'm pretty sure. Mike Turpin, are you listening? Correct us. Correct us. That's been our fact checker as of late. It's funny. guitar so those get higher i'm pretty sure yeah mike turpin are you listening correct us correct us that's been our fact checker as of late it's funny we'll get like carbon yeah we'll get comments like uh episode 17 uh it was kazaa not kazan well maybe he can uh settle this uh myth about the bare weather hurting your knee i don't see why people would lie about that, though. People believe myths all the

time. I mean, if your leg hurts and then it rains, that confirms it for you. If it doesn't rain, you don't even think about it. But yeah, it wouldn't hurt if it didn't rain. It hurts because it's going to rain. I guarantee you these people's

legs hurt when it doesn't rain sometimes and it rains sometimes when their legs don't hurt. But I'm sure it hurts more. It's just coincidence. Every time. The human brain remembers the hits and forgets the misses. So it's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think about the misses now and again.

I don't know. I feel like there's got to be a little bit of – you said it was pseudoscience, but there's got to be some science. People believe crazy myths all the time. Think about for how many centuries we thought bleeding people was like curing diseases. All right. Well, let's just – The top medical minds in the world were like, we got to – we got this guy's arteries open.

Yeah, we also thought there was a tiny little human inside of a cell. That's just how we were born. It was just a homunculus. Really? Yeah. a cell that that's just how we were born it was just a homunculus yeah that was like they they have a lot um what was that probably like 1300s like like feudal times they thought they that they thought sperm was there was just a little tiny guy a little tiny man in your sperm really and then it just grew like the the little guy coming out of your door. He's landing on a castle floor.

That hurt. It was so hot in there. The mouse is chasing him. What do I got to do to get a bite to eat around here? That's what Stuart Little was based on, right? It was a metaphor for that. History with a capital H for Stuart Little. Oh, yeah.

Talk about a historical docudrama. Stuart Little. Check it out. When he rode that motorcycle. Mike, I think you're feeling pretty high and mighty, but I'll take an answer from Yahoo Answers from three years ago. Let's see it. answers from three years ago. It says, previously broken bones are sensitive to changes in the weather because as the weather is about to change for the worst, the barometric pressure changes. The change in barometric pressure actually

causes the pressure within the fluids in our bodies to change. This change in internal pressure of our fluids causes a pain response simply because of the increased pressure. I hope that helps, Peter. Anybody can post it. You look up a peer-reviewed scientific study.

That was Dr. House who wrote that. Yep. That was Dr. Peter that wrote that. Dr. Peter House. Thank you, yeah. He says it's not lupus, it's barometric pressure. That was a house joke for anybody who watches house. It was always lupus.

Anyway. Previous. It was always lupus. They would always cross off lupus. Well, is it lupus? That would be the first question. It's not lupus. Anyway. It was always lupus. They would always cross off lupus. Well, is it lupus? That would be the first question. It's not lupus. Not everyone has fucking lupus, Carl.

He was lupus, by the way. No, you said it's not true about... It's an autoimmune disease. It's not that movie with Bruce Willis and... Unbreakable? Die Hard 2? Where he travels time. He travels time?

Where Bruce Willis travels time. Yeah, Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon. Oh, Looper. Looper. But you were saying no when the pressure actually changes when bad weather does come in, though. You agree with that?

No, I didn't say that. I don't know about that shit. Yeah, that's true. The pressure changes. Probably, but it's not that much. It is! That's what causes storms! That's the. Yeah, the pressure changes. Well, probably, but it's not that much. I mean. It is. That's what causes storms. That's the best health. High pressure system. But it doesn't affect your bones. Yes, it does.

Everything. Everything affects everything. Yes, you're acting like when you go outside, it's just, I don't know, like a blank thing. There's oxygen. There's all kinds of chemicals in it. You get hot and you get cold, and that's pretty much it. What is happening? And sometimes you get wet if you get in the ocean.

You have the most backwoods thoughts. No, you guys do. You probably also believe that a menstruating woman kills a field full of crops. Of course she does! Especially if she makes eye contact with me. Anyway. You get hot, you get cold. You get a cat over your door to ward off witches.

Don't make eye contact with a Chinese. They'll steal your soul. There was a, I cracked recently, a list of the most unintentionally hilarious public service posters. And there's a whole series of them from, I think, Uganda. Some university in Africa, I believe it was Uganda. And they're all like, don't let your soul be stolen. And like, look out for shapeshifters. And it shows like people turning into cats and shit.

It's a big problem in Uganda. Shapeshifters? And one's like a, that just goes to show you how easily people will believe things that are not true. I saw one of, it was a Smokey the Bear. It was like when Smokey the Bear first came out. And it was just a poster of when they first found Smokey the Bear

I'm on fire I'm a smoke Smokey but it was just it was a poster of just a crudely drawn Asian man

with like just a rice patty hat and a Fu Manchu and big buck teeth and a German guy and I was like help prevent forest fires or they win. What?

I swear. How do forest fires affect the outcome of World War II? It's propaganda. There's no correlation between anything. So just connect anything to whatever war is going on. Brush your teeth or the Krauts will get you. Yeah. I mean, that makes sense.

You gotta spend money or the terrorists win. You gotta keep capitalism moving. Buy an Escalade or the Hodgies. We got a couple things to circle back to. You don't think that the pressure in the sky affects our bodies? Well, of course I don't think that the pressure in the sky affects our bodies? Well, of course, I don't

know, but I know that I would guess that it doesn't affect us very much. Why? But you don't think the body is sensitive enough to detect those tiny amounts of pressure change? Yeah. I would be very skeptical of the claim that our bones

are sensitive to... It's not necessarily the bones as much as it is your joints and the cartilage. Your fluids and things like that. Same way that the tide is affected by the moon, sir. Don't say uh-huh like you don't believe it. That's true. I know, but it's... You get hot, you get cold.

But the gravity that pulls the water is like... Yeah. I thought you were going to go into something about how that affects our mental state. Oh, no. I'm not saying that like... You guys know like the full moon things. Yeah. And they say it's like...

But it is true that the gravitational pull of the moon affects the tides. Yes. Okay. So why would you not say that something even closer, like the pressure in the sky, would affect human bodies? I mean, it would, but I would be very, very skeptical that it affects us so much that it makes our bones hurt. Although, when you describe it that way, it does sound kind of... It sounds silly. When the pressure in the sky...

The sky demon starts putting pressure on the earth. Yeah, when the angels don't like us, babies might. Were you, like, molested by a meteorologist or something? Why are you so? Tom Tasselmeyer diddled Mike Moran. No, I don't think he was technically a meteorologist. At the time when he diddled you. He was still in training.

He was Tom the Toucher at the time. He was still getting his bachelor's. I'm Tom the Toucher. I time. He was still getting his bachelors. I'm Tom the Toucher. I mean, Tom Toucher. It's a rough nickname, the Toucher. I'm just saying I'd be very skeptical of that claim, and I'm pretty sure someone's explained to me why it's a hoax or a myth before. Was it on Mythbusters?

I don't know. If it's not on Mythbusters, then I don't believe it. Was it anime? It was probably. I think it was in Zeegeist the movie. You were watching an episode of Full Metal Alchemist? It was in With the Bleak Do We Know. Deepak Chopra has a whole series of audio CDs on it.

That's so true. I'm not seeing anything here denying this. The guy who wrote A Million Little Pieces backed this up. Clearly, he's a trustworthy fellow. What was his name? Fry or something. I forget his name. James Fry.

Yeah. My friend who has a copy of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion said that this is true. Okay. Okay. All right. I'm looking on Snopes now. Let's see what Snopes has to say. Do you feel like Snopes is credible?

They are. Yeah. Okay. You guys talk amongst yourselves while I read this message board. This is good pot. So what do you think about Josh, really? About this Josh? Yeah.

I don't know, man. Yeah. I don't fucking know. Right. For the record, I still have my headphones on. Oh. I mean, he's good. Just whisper.

If we whisper, you can't hear it. Yeah. I don't like Josh. He's one of the good guys, I feel like. You think so? Mm-hmm. As soon as we met, just instant connection. Yeah, no, he is a good guy.

But what do you mean by good guys? You think, like, you can kind of tell if somebody's a glamour up front? I feel like I have a pretty good gauge of, like, if I'm going to get along with someone. Not necessarily. I usually, I feel like, yeah, if they're a genuinely good person. gauge of if I'm going to get along with someone. I feel like, yeah, if they're a genuinely good person. But I don't even know what that fucking means anymore. What is a good person?

I think it all has to do with degrees of empathy, generally. Yeah. I would say how well you're able to put yourself in someone else's position is a pretty good gauge of whether or not you're – but I don't – good, bad, I don't know. Yeah, they're weird. Are you faggots done talking? No.

See, my point – just prove my point. Terrible human being. You homo quiz. Snopes, they're all agreeing. That Mike Moran's right? No. Yeah, that's what they say. No, they agree that barometric pressure.

That's what everyone on Snopes said. Mike Moran, he's right. He's right. He's totally right. He's right. If you bleed out your mouth, you can't think about your future or something. Yeah, that's all I was saying. No, it's true.

Barometric pressure. Yeah. I'm still skeptical. Okay. You might be right. I might be wrong. Might be. I'm still fairly certain I'm right, honestly.

I think you need to wave the white flag on this one. I would be willing to. And I am feeling like maybe I may have to. But I would still want to research a little bit myself. Okay. That's fair. I can't fault you for being a scientist. I can't fault you for that.

I studied for a long time. You've got to be a scientist. I got a hypothesis. Now I get to use chemicals and beakers and stuff. Or you could go outside, because that's kind of what you're trying to figure out. Science-minded people do not. That's true.

I probably wouldn't trust a guy in a lab coat to be like the barometric pressure makes your legs hurt. I'm like you've never seen the sun so get the fuck out of here dude. Talking to other people makes you horrified. I wish that's what science

was. I wish that's what science was. It's like girls are scary. Vaginas have teeth. Science is like, it's just has a bias towards like nerdy introverted people. Yeah. So what are you guys talking about? Good guys, like detecting good guys? When I'm out looking for a good guy.

We are on the scope for some nice gentlemen. Just looking for some solid dudes. Especially in this local scene. How do you spot a good guy? What do you fellas do? I like a nice pair of eyes. Sorry, that's me. I don't know.

I'm a chin guy. I like someone with a strong chin. Yeah, not a bad guy. Okay. But I've honestly felt like most comedians I've met in this local scene have been nice people. I think most people I meet in general are nice people. Oh, really? Yeah.

I would say so. I mean, that's the minority of douchebags that stand out in your mind. Yeah, minorities. Why are minorities always fucking stuff up? I'm with Mike. I'm with you. It's just the minorities are bad people. Yeah, minorities. Why are minorities always fucking stuff up? I'm with Mike. I'm with you. It's just the minorities are bad people. All the time. I am, though.

As I get older and as I research psychology somewhat, I do find that if I don't take people being assholes too personally, I can find it to be an interesting experience to interact with someone who doesn't have much empathy for other human beings. I can see that i've had friends like that who i don't like but for some reason i let i enjoy hanging around them just seeing the just like seeing the chaos they cause yeah right like i just like i like watching a fucking hurricane run through a bar and just offend everyone and like get slapped in the face by girls right like it's it's a mute and i guess that's me being an asshole because i could be like hey bud you're being a real shitty human being right but maybe we could tone that down a little but would they stop probably not probably not probably no but the thing is i i feel like a lot of but i don't

have to participate yeah would brandon leskear stop acting like that? I don't think so. Nothing will stop him. He is a hurricane. If he were born, he would have been the leader of the Third Reich. Oh. I love the man. He's a great guy. He's a great guy, but his neo-Nazi white supremacist beliefs. You're focusing on the negative.

He's a good organizer. He's motivated. He's got a lot of aspirations. They might be to kill all the Jews. But still. He's good with chemicals. He has a worldly view. He's good at getting people together. He's good at getting doctors together so they can perform terrible experiments.

Experiments, nonetheless. We're all about science here. There is actually a very disturbing amount of productive scientific data that we gathered from the experiments that the Nazis did. We pretty much can base a lot of science

off of what they found out. Like, what was it? Poison gas kills people. They have that on a list. Like, check it out. Figured it out. Things that kill people. Poison stuff.

You fit this many people in a cattle car without it being too much. They figured out, yeah, it was a, they figured out how long it takes for a person to drown. And that was like, that was like a huge thing. Right. Like, because they just didn't know. It was like they. Starvation Right. Because they just didn't. Yeah, they did tasks with starvation. How the hell could that have happened in a civilized world? Yeah, people not standing up for stuff that they think is wrong.

Because they're scurred. Also, the Jews are the worst. Moving on. Justin, how did you get your job? Well, I killed a bunch of Jews. Good for you. And they were like, here, do you want to take care of mentally disabled people? I was like, totally, I do.

I would love to do experiments. Now, while I used to work, I got my degree in biology okay from Salisbury and then um I when I got out of school my plan was to go to physician's assistant school and when I went to apply I realized uh it's really hard to get into it's super expensive and most programs they get like 5,000 applicants and accept like two and a half people wow and most of the people that apply are doctors from other countries like i was at an orientation and there was like a guy who raised his hand with a question he's like i was a doctor in russia for 25 years i was like oh i'm fucked you probably have about the same level of experience as him yeah yeah just kidding just from going on snopes occasionally. Occasionally. Checking in.

Going to Yahoo Answers every once in a while. Figuring some stuff out. They're still bleeding people over there. Yeah, reading a pamphlet at the clinic every once in a while. I have Wikipedia bookmarked on Safari, so I think I should get hired. Thank you. I'm way smarter than that guy. Thank you.

I'm sorry. Continue. Yeah. Oh, and then I went into the medical field and I was an EMT for like two years. How was that? It was fucking terrible. It was pretty fucking terrible. Seems like an insane job.

Not really. I worked for private ambulance companies. So it was basically like picking people up from the nursing home like when they had a cold. So you're on the opposite end of the life alert button maybe. I think so. I think so. Okay. Yeah, because it wasn't like the worst things that would happen was like, oh, he shit his pants again.

That's the worst thing that would happen? Yeah. Give me a diaper step. I mean I saw. Either old age is not nearly as bad as I thought, or you're very shallow. I don't want to shit my pants. That sounds awful. Also, why are they calling 911?

Well, that wasn't the reason for the call. We were just, yeah, I was just a cleanup crew. Now, like that's like during a call, like it would be like, you're not even trying anymore. Mr. what you said. I'm sorry. No, like, that's like during a call. Like, it would be like. You're not even trying anymore, Mr. Gutserson. Yeah, that's the thing. All the people that work in nursing homes are like either like Jamaican or like the Caribbean or something like that.

Really? They get their nursing degrees. They bring their children in. Yep. They just play Bob Marley all the time. It's like, dude. And Slipknot. Don't bum-de-clut in his pants again.

Call the 911. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, boy. Yeah, and they would, because they get their nursing degrees in whatever country they're from, and it's so easy to get it there, and then they come over here, and they have some basic knowledge of medical the medical field but it's very basic it's like because we would get calls for like this guy has a nosebleed like we'd get calls at like five o'clock in the morning like this guy's

nose is bleeding i was like have you shoved a fucking boy yeah help us like shove a fucking tissue in there like why are we taking him to the hospital yeah why are we wasting because people medicare and medicare his brain is like dripping out of his nose or something yeah it's melting he's got he's got fruit punch come out of his face holes hey boy yeah that's true yeah it's that's probably why they do it they're like uh medicare medicare paying for him taxpayers call them call them yeah which was always weird for me because most of the calls we took were paid for by Medicare and Medicaid. So how is it private then? Just because it wasn't actual emergency.

It wasn't. 911 is like you get a fire truck or whatever when it's an actual emergency. Like nursing homes have contracts with private ambulance companies, so they don't have to call 911 and bog them down with all their shit. Right. But why would Medicaid and Medicare pay for that? Well, because they're elderly people. But wouldn't nursing homes pay for it?

No. Medicare and Medicaid usually pays for someone being in a nursing home. Yeah, because at a certain age, you can qualify for Medicare. Right. So that's probably part of it. But I thought that that's what makes it not private. Well, just those expenses in general, I think they can... Like if they had to go to the hospital, probably they can chalk that up to an expense via Medicare.

I still don't understand it, but whatever. No, our company, the companies I work for got paid by Medicare and Medicaid, which always confused me because I pay taxes, which pays for Medicare and Medicaid. So in a sense, I was paying my own paycheck. Yeah, I work for the government currently that's what it's a weird it's a i know it's that's not how it works but that's kind of like when you break it down that's kind of what it feels like yeah no that is true i mean it goes towards that like i work for social security and a big chunk of my check goes to social security you know what i mean so information fuck the government yeah exactly yeah i. Yeah. Tired of this government.

They're a bunch of big meanies. Take, take, take, take, take. Jeez. Okay, so you were working for a private ambulance. Oh, yeah, and I did that for like two years, and I just got burnt out on it. I was just done, so I quit, and then

I was like looking in the penny saver or something like that. Because I'm a fucking 90 year old woman because when i when you work with 90 year old women you kind of turn into one so i was looking at the penny saver for a good pair of knitting needles it's that age-old story i need employment where's the penny saver warren buffett did it steve Jobs yep that's how they all got yeah to the top yeah and then I found it and found it in there that they were the place that I worked for was hiring yeah so then I applied and I was qualified to work there so I did it nice and then plus I have a cousin who's mentally disabled okay so I had I had tutored him for like a summers. So I was kind of already aware of what I was going into.

Sure. I don't know. It's not that bad. No, no. It's really fulfilling in a lot of ways. At first it was. Now it's gotten to the point where it's like they make progress, but it takes such a long span of time that you barely...

Because both of them have behavioral issues, obviously, because we almost got in a fucking fight the other day. Yeah. And it's just like they get better, but it's so minute and slow. No pun intended. Right. slow not no pun intended right but they uh yeah because it's it is fulfilling in a sense because i get more fulfillment out of the fact that i'm helping their mom because she has two mentally disabled children who are grown adults and who still live at home and she takes care of them and she's been taking care of them for the past 32 years yes so i get more i get more fulfillment out of knowing

that she gets some peace of mind and gets to retain her sanity in a sense than i do from i mean i get it's okay i don't yeah i don't there's so much so little progression that it's hard to feel like i did something right so it's more just like let her get a peace of mind for a little bit. Speaking of full-time jobs, that's the rest of your life. She's always going to have these guys around. They do provide group homes, but

still, she doesn't want to send because none of them are good. You have to shell out shit tons of money to get a good one yeah because most of the time the person it's just like a person who sits on the couch and fucking watches history channel all day they say hey don't do that yeah right stop wasn't like we're eating macaroni and cheese for dinner right it's like they don't they barely do their job yeah so i get but i don't know

it's fuck it's whatever it's better than sitting in an office. Yeah, that's what I do. Although I do get to sit in the sun a lot, which is not good for me. Have you been to the dermatologist? No. Do you have any weird marks? No. No, I'm good. I don't have cancer yet.

It's coming, though. It's definitely coming. You have to be vigilant. I feel it. coming though okay it's definitely coming no you have to be vigilant you don't have like i feel it i love i realize how much i love a sunburn when it peels last night because i was just getting yeah i like that feeling good chunks of skin i don't like it worth the cancer that's the question yeah no i say so the answer is yes yeah absolutely the answer is totally yes i like picking a good scab but dead skin that was a scab's not dead skin.

Dead skin, not so much. Not a fan. I had a really bad sunburn two years ago on my stomach. I was an idiot. In your stomach? Yeah, in it. That's how bad it was. He fell asleep with his mouth open on the beach.

I was holding a magnifying glass in my mouth. I never thought it would be funny to put a magnifying glass in my mouth. I never thought it would be funny to put a magnifying glass in my mouth. I ate a bunch of ants earlier and I was trying to kill them. How else are you going to do it? It would bite my throat if I didn't put that magnifying glass in my mouth.

Speaking of science, that's science. That's science in a nutshell. What if somebody tried to solve their house ant problem? Speaking of science, that's science, you know? Yeah. Exactly. That's science in a nutshell. Oh, man. What if somebody tried to solve their house ant problem? Just a giant magnifying glass? Your house catches fire. I feel like that's... It was a foolproof plan.

It's like a Simpsons joke. Yeah. My girlfriend used to watch a show, A Thousand and One Ways to Die. I remember that. It's mostly just like the... They have like the Darwin Awards, basically. People just dying by like the dumbest ways. And these kids heard about Ozzy snorting ants, so they wanted to do it, but they snorted fire ants.

So when they snorted them, it was like in their nasal cavity, and the ants are freaking out, so they're stinging them. And then their nasal cavity just swelled up, and they suffocated to death almost instantly. You know what? Good. Yeah. Good. A lot of that stuff was just like, wow, yeah, okay. I never have any sympathy when I watch those shows. There's some stuff where some

just seem like an accident. These one guys, I think they're in the Bahamas and you always see people on the travel channel jumping off a cave into whatever water or something like that. Well, this guy jumped from like 40 feet and landed right on his butthole pretty much, and the water just shot right up his anus, like into his body and killed him. That's how he died?

Yeah. By just jumping into water? Well, from like 40 feet up. It might have been higher. Either way, like he, yeah, I guess basically just did like an animal. How did he know he died that way? Well, it just shot right up his butt. No, that, that, I still don't feel bad.

That's why, why do, that's why they put those signs on the side of the, no running, no diving, no jumping asshole first. That's why those, they put those there. I really want to see that decal of like, you know, they have like the circle of life. The running guy. Water shooting out of his skull. Spreading his butt cheeks, jumping into the pool. My favorite one is with the water heater with the picture of the guy being burned alive. That's the best. It's like they hired the guy who modeled for the men's room.

That guy's having a rough day. He started out really easy. Yeah, it's all cut. He's like, has his hands over the air. Making no attempt to put himself out. There's one at the slicer, like a deli slicer where I used to work. It was like the hand

and the fingers are all separated. It's like circling the lines. Yeah, I don't want to cut my fingers off. I know you're tempted. Don't do that. As tempting as it may be, please don't cut your fingers off. I know it's very shiny and attractive,

the metal, but stay away. And then it has a circle around just a guy with a hand. Don't do that. Yes. Don't do that. My friend's pool, he had a community pool

and to get in you had to put in a passcode because you could drive your car up to it. And it was like a huge fence thing that would move. And they had a similar one with a guy. But he was getting chopped in half. So it was like, don't stand in the gate. And he was just... Circling along.

Was it right down the middle? No, it was at his waist It looked like he was diving The two sides of the guy's face Were looking at each other like Oh, he was diving in? Okay, so no cat burglary I guess

Like, hey, no 007 diving in And I'm saying it looked like he was Like he was caught in the gate by his hip. Like, oh, no. No Ocean's Eleven stuff, guys. No sneaky, sneaky. No sneakies. I remember as a kid being terrified that I was going to get crushed in the door at the grocery store.

The automatic door? Oh, yeah. I feel like it kind of happened once. Like one time it was like going bon, like, slamming on our cart. It was really scary. Because I think they had signs up, like, showing you how you would die if these things closed on you. It was probably, yeah, similar. Like, you'd get cut in half easily.

Right down the middle. I don't know why we do it, but we put razors on the end of the doors. That's to do with, like, the magnets, but they have to be. Every week. Yeah, pretty bad design. We keep them real sharp. We have a sharpener. Maybe we could just not do it. I don't know. We could make blunt

ends, but you know what? What's the fun in that? I'm a grocery store manager. I don't know. I'm not a door guy. I'm not a fucking door guy. I'm just an average Joe who's knee hurts when he gets stormy outside. That's why they call me Stormy Joe. Stormy Joe's produce.

Stormy Joe's penis. They had an automatic door at the Amish market. And I felt an overwhelming sense of irony as I walked in through the automatic doors of the Amish market. Yeah, the Amish aren't quite as primitive as we'd like to believe. They cheat a lot. Oh, yeah. Because there's an Amish market in Annapolis that uh we should see him with the power pad yeah have you ever seen them play nintendo olympics they cheat too like bad enough that you're using electricity but you're

cheating on people come on come on you have more integrity yeah i remember seeing uh like a amish woman she had a pair of nikes on like i don't think you made those. The Mennonites in Virginia almost always had sneakers on. It was so weird. What's the difference between a Mennonite and an Amish? I think they're closely related. I think maybe Mennonite is a specific type of Amish.

Is it like a religious sect? Yeah, they both are. I don't know if it was a split or something like that. Those Amish are too progressive for us. But there's a lot of Mennonites where I grew up riding around their horse and buggies on the roads and shit. They'd have to have

a big yellow reflector on the back. Wait, where'd you grow up at? Harrisonburg, Virginia. Okay. Okay. There's even a Mennonite college, Eastern Mennonite University. That sounds like there's getting tons of puss there. The parties.

Oh, man. Yield for puss. There's a lot of it. But the thing was, like, not, there was, like, strict, what's the word for, like, a strict religious person? Orthodox. Orthodox. There's, like, Orthodox Amish.

Fag Orthodox, sorry. And they were the ones living in the 1400s. Orthodox. Orthodox. There's like Orthodox Amish. Fag Orthodox, sorry. And they were the ones living in the 1400s. Okay. And then there was just like people that you knew who were Mennonites. Just people with big beards. I had a friend. I just got a bowl cut and now I'm Amish. Thought I was a hippie, but apparently I was.

I had a friend who was Mennonite, but it wasn't weird Mennonite. Yeah. I don't know. I always feel weird because I'll go to the Amish market and pay with my credit card. And I feel like that's so opposite of what I was taught the Amish were. Because when I was taught about that, they don't use electricity and they churn their own butter and they build their own houses. I was like, that's crazy. Why would no one use technology?

And then they fucking use it all the time. Bring me ye old knuckle buster i've heard that uh when it comes to work they're allowed to use technology yeah sure if you're making money making the money they are yeah i think that's the main thing is like they are they're pretty in the middle they're uh they read a lot of um anrand really real big super into donald trump yeah like Donald Trump. They kind of have the same haircut. Donald Trump and the Amish. That's true. Very true.

I think we might be onto something here. Very true. So let's see. Let's see. We're wrapping up here. We haven't really asked Brandon about his, I mean, Justin. And I'm done.

I'm done now. Takes one slip up I'm the anti I'm the anti Fez Grimes you guys do have a good spectrum of me but as the Justin hmm we really we really need a Native American oh I'm sure Thes is part Native American. He might be. He's got to have an engine. He's got an engine in him. What did you want to ask this sumbitch? Let's talk about his comedy just a little bit.

Let's do it. What got you into stand-up? My mom, when I was growing up, she loved comedy. She always loved SNL. Like, Bill Murray was her favorite. She just adored him. That's good taste. She's a smart lady.

She is. And so I was always, my parents both liked it. I do remember watching, like, a lot of, not a lot of stand-up. It's weird because most people are like, I grew up, I loved Carlin and Pryor. And I was like, I kind of grew up watching more just like Greg Barrett. And just like 90s comics. Like stuff that would pop up on Comedy Central. Yeah, like stuff, Premium like live at gotham like i

watch i yeah i like i watched open mics kind of yeah like when i was a kid so and then um i don't know well i got made fun of through school because i have red hair and pale skin and all that bullshit fat ankles and fat fat faggy ankles i have have big ankles, too. It's cool. You got nothing on my shit. Okay. You got the fattest ankle here. Uh-oh, I smell an ankle off. He's turned his fat ankles into one of his pros.

Laser power. Dig heads. I used to fear my fat ankles. They're sturdy ankles. Try and break them. Try and break them. Nothing's going to happen. We will. I do not have sturdy ankles.

Stankles? Sturdy ankles. Kankles? That's my favorite OutKast album, by the way. Stankles? Stanklonia? Stanklonius? Stanklonius?

Well, yeah. Andreas3000. He's so good. He's good. Okay, so watching comedy got made fun of for the red hair. Yeah. That sucks. How long was that?

Was that throughout high school? Mostly. Probably. Also, my last name's Hancock. That's a fucking easy one right there. Yeah, that Will Smith movie was just okay. It really wasn't that good. Like, oh, why don't we give him a hand?

Yeah. I bet you get that a lot or like you know why don't you hand me that hand cock yeah it was mostly hand jokes right nothing to do with the last hand solo over there oh what does he read hand rand books yeah you're not handsome hand cock he's not very handy either. Okay, we're done. We're done. I'm done with the hand puns. He's got a big signature because of John Hancock. Stupid.

Why don't you make me a hand sandwich? Anyway. Anyway, what puns do you have? Go on, Thez. Go ahead. Sorry. So then I got made fun of. We're like, oh, yeah, let's make fun of you some more.

Oh, let's add to that emotional trauma that you went through for your entire life. Well, I got called moron quite a lot. Yeah, that's the shitty thing about... Anytime you have a last name where... I'm so grateful I don't have a name like butts or like yeah woodcock or something like yeah what's that what's that one uh nascar driver dick trickle literally that's his name but you have the option of going rich you could go richard he went dick i admire that i admire that and dick trickle anybody that we died anybody that goes yeah

oh yeah he was one of the most feared football players of all time. Is it butt kiss or buckus? I think it's buckus, but it's pronounced... Everybody says butt kiss. Let's see how it's spelled actually. Let's look it up. Snopes.com Is it butt kiss? Just type it into Google Images and see what you get.

Okay. Is it butt kiss yes i hope it just says yes he conduct ration sessions is it butt kiss cliffhanger challenge okay i'm sorry so uh your your your mother was was a big comedy fanatic. Yeah, she was always watching. When I was five years old, I had memorized the entirety of Ghostbusters. Good film. Yeah, and now I watch them, I'm like, holy shit, good for me. By Ray Parker? Just the song, yeah.

I could sing it front to back and hit all the notes. What did you think of ghostbusters 2 um well i watched it when i was a kid so i fucking loved it yeah i remember really yeah i liked it a lot when i was little good it was it's weird how there's like movies you like and then it takes like growing up and hearing other people talk about them to realize that they weren't good i don't i haven't watched it recently i watched the first ghostbusters not that long ago i was like that's still an amazing movie that's still a really well-written funny movie and there's some some moments in there that i didn't notice as a kid like the part where um

they're at the mayor's office and it's like this man has no dick or something like that he's like yeah he's like are you serious like i am serious he has no dick or something what there was some joke like that wasn't dick am i doing penis or something like that i think it may have been i may have been dick yeah it's so weird how like pg movies back then like everybody's smoking they're making like everybody in the 80s had to have tits to at least one pair of tits in it i watched 48 hours today and uh yeah just tits just random stuff just here and there. Like, let's go interview this girl. And she's like, oh. That was such a pleasant surprise when you'd rent like a PG-13. Yeah.

With boobs in it. Yeah. Oh, my God. That was good. My night was made. Yeah. I knew what I was doing as soon as I went to bed. Okay.

Masturbating. After you're done masturbating. Which is wanting to clear up. Yeah. In case anyone was wondering. What did he do that? You're going to have to clear that up yourself So yeah, so when did you start doing stand-up?

Masturbating Around the same time What's the deal with these PG-13 movies? In end of August, it'll be two years Oh wow So how old are you? So you're just a baby 26 Oh, me too it'll be two years oh wow so well how old are you just a baby 26 okay I figured

we were probably and wait Mike how you're 22 22 years young yep yep 20 30 31 okay okay 31 wait how long you and love it it you look great. I'm 31. You look great. I'm 16. I'm neurotic and chronically masturbating. You're 30 fun. We just kill ourselves after that. Yeah. When did you start?

Three or so years ago. I started doing improv four years ago approximately okay actually you know what i think yeah four years ago is when i took my first improv class i was still in classes around this era four years ago okay yeah and then i joined a troupe yep and so i've been doing improv i guess like three and a half years and stand up like two and a half three years what do you what do you get more enjoyment out of improper stand-up um i don't overall i would probably say stand up yeah yeah i'm not sure if i can explain why though just a feeling because i know there will be sometimes when i get off stage and it's

like oh that like just a fucking rush of like when you have when you know you had it dialed in and you hit every punch line yep and the crowd you were right there with the crowd yeah and like i know that that feeling is pretty damn good right and then because i've been recently been going back and forth between whether i like stand up better or whether i like the process yeah crying and masturbating which one i just i like i know other stuff but i know i'm better that's usually i know i'm better at crying and masturbating more practiced at it i've got a lot of years under my belt gladwell hours no but that or like um just right like being in like a writer's room right sort of atmosphere because that get like when everyone's just sitting there riffing off of each other and we're like well what if we do this what if we do

this what if we do like that process is so much fun to me really like i just didn't i get uh and i don't know i feel like i get get more of a high from doing stand-up, but I don't know if I genuinely enjoy the process of writing with other people more. I don't know. It's tough. I feel like I go back and forth. Yeah. That's the thing.

I don't have to pick one. They usually go hand-in-hand. Most stand-up comedians, or vice versa, have versa have a writing job yeah i would love to do that oh right for a show yeah that'll be so amazing yeah anything that would be a lot of fun sketches shows to get paid to write comedy to get paid to do anything comedy is pretty fucking yeah i mean that's the goal yeah like and yeah if you say that's not the goal, you're a fucking liar. Yeah. I hate people who are just like, I just love doing it. Yeah. I love doing it.

Well, I mean, some people do kind of just take it on as a hobby and don't like, I don't think I'm ever going to get paid from doing improv, you know? Oh, yeah. I don't think. Has anyone ever gotten paid from doing it? Only like the best of the best. Like fucking UCB and that. Yeah.

But they don't like doing it. Yeah. They don't. They don't. That's why other shows are so cheap because mostly it's about like the quote unquote exposure and that's supposed to lead to other things. Yeah. So I mean, that's the basis of doing like doing open mics.

Yeah. Or just shows in general. It's very rare that I will get paid to do stand up or, you know, improv. I usually get paid for doing the shittiest shows. Like I usually get paid when i do a show that's just utter crap like it's like five people in the audience and like there's no one there two of them are me and john yeah it's like in a fucking office building somewhere or like in a strip mall but i guess i guess that kind of makes up for it being right getting getting paid yeah yeah I don't

know I'm just like I think I'd rather in lieu of money I'd rather be doing good shows yeah no that's that's always great and when there's you know when there's both it's pretty yeah that's amazing yeah but uh yeah um I when did uh I don't think I know do you know this Mike when color me funny when you when you guys got together when When was that? Like a year ago? Yeah, a year and a half ago or so. What was last? Like a month? Maybe a year and like a month and a half.

Okay. Yeah, because we had our one-year anniversary show at Dark Horse. Oh, that was with Mickey Coachella, right? Yeah. Okay. So were you guys all in Bel-Air? For the most part uh brandon and i kind of knew each other from we both used to be in bands okay so we kind of were in the same scene yeah he mentioned that that he played guitar and stuff yeah so we kind of knew each other through

that and then i started doing stand-up and he came to like my second show and then like we weren't even like friends like we didn't really talk that much and then we just started he started doing it so we started going to shows together and then I met Joe at like a Magoobies contest and then I was like I really like Joe like and then we'd start it started really just started out us like traveling to shows together and then kind of built from there and then we started we're like well what if we do sketches too we can write sketches and then we started doing that and then we're built from there and then we started we're like well what if we do sketches too we can write sketches and then we started doing that and then we're like we can run shows like we have places in bel-air bel-air has no comedy whatsoever yeah so let's do shows there

people will come out to them yeah so that it just kind of and then it just kind of grew from there right on because um you know like most of us live in bel-air or at least in harford county other than joe joe lives in like near towson kind of gotcha gotcha gotcha like rosedale i can give you an actual address if you want yes specific address 2619 uh uh fart nugget drive oh okay he moved, he did. His number is 555-123-CUM. Okay. You're short a number. It's CUM with two Ms.

Oh. Okay. Common mistake. Sorry. I should have said it. KL5. We'll fix it in post. Okay.

But no, I think it's awesome what you guys are doing i said it when uh brandon was here but it's really cool that you guys have started uh these rooms and like giving comedians the opportunity to get up and stuff i think no we have we have fun doing it and it's nice it's been a great positive productive environment yeah yeah i feel like we usually have pretty good shows for the comics sometimes the audience is a little i don't know if they have a good time so much but i feel like the comics have a good time right yeah that's what i care about yeah i i like i it's good it's nice to have a good audience but when the comic i feel like if the comics are having a good time right then that usually trickles down to the audience. Dick trickles down. Right.

All right. I just thought off of Twitter. You ready? Uh-huh. Reincarnation. We'll fix it in post. I like it. Thank you.

That's good. That is good. Reincarnation breakfast. Instant re- Never mind. I'm just spitballing here. Just having fun. Just having fun. So you've been doing stand

up for like two years almost um are you gonna stay in the maryland area for a while or what do you think you think you go to new york or chicago or la um actually kim and i are going taking a trip up to new york next week oh that's right we're going to see the walk in the room podcast live oh nice that should be fun. I enjoy that podcast. Me too. Who's on it? Greg Barron and Dave Anthony. They usually have pretty good guests.

I mean, sometimes it's just them. Mike and I have to do that now and again. We suffer through it, but we make it. Hey, we're survivors. Sometimes those are my favorite podcasts. It's like you guys are so, you know each other and you're... Intimately.

Yeah, very intimately. And you're just so close and gentle with each other. It's just nice to listen to. It's really nice to hear friends be friends. Yeah, we always kind of challenge our listeners too. We are good actors. Can you tell when we're playing footsie? Tell us.

Give us a time code. Let us know. Let us know. Let us know. It's a fun little Easter egg thing to find. From 3.51 to about 5.22, his hands on your thigh. There it was. Okay, you're cheating because you're looking at us. But, yeah.

I could smell it, actually. I could smell the water. Smell it before you saw it. Yeah. Footsie. Smell it before you saw it. Cuties going on here. So you guys are going to New York and you're going to try to do some mics up there?

Yeah, I think we're going to try and hit a couple dudes up there. So hit them up and see if they can get us some time. Or if not, I'm sure it's not going to be an issue finding an open mic somewhere. I don't know. When you're in the sticks like new york city good luck i don't know if there's a lot up there good luck yeah good luck uh what do you guys know if there's ever been comedy in new york city i think it's like bel air was a few years yeah first yeah pretty much you guys you guys have an open it's an untapped market yeah i hear it

indians will like trade property for real cheap too. They like the shiny stuff, so bring some coins. Some silver. Pick out a constellation because it comes with each purchase. Oh, really? Oh, wow. You get your own sky guide every time you purchase anything. Good deal.

Good deal. So as we're wrapping up here, so just doing stand- stand up you're just gonna just stick with it for a while what happens may happen yeah my i mean i don't really have a plan yeah say yeah but i mean i figure do it for a while here maybe like three or four years and then if i'm still if i'm still progressing like if i figure out like maybe i'm just not like not that good at this right like some i feel like there's some people like you get like two years in and then you're like you're doing okay and then you just like oh wait i don't have that much to say actually yeah like yeah it's tough to put those like time constraints on it because some people

some people hit their stride early on and then there's always the people you know like louis ck or lewis black or anybody else named lewis yeah yeah any l names lisa lampinelli yeah you know it takes a long time before they hit their stride but they're like working out of the whole time yeah took them a long time to plot America. Lewis and Clark came over here 400 years ago. They did a TV show in the 90s. They're still working on their bits.

Hitting open mics all throughout the colonial America. The Oregon Trail. White people doing comedy for Indians back in the day. Who hated them at a military outpost but yeah we talked about it the other day

Justin like people like Jason Weems when you watch him you're like oh why am I even doing this yeah some people you just watch he's done it 5 million times and he wasn't that great when he first started exactly but I mean like he's but where he is now I feel is like so far above where

i could be maybe i mean i would like to aspire to that but he's fucking insane yeah i don't know it's hard to some it's when you're watching someone like that it's hard to keep that perspective like oh well he's done this like for five years longer than like yeah longer than i have sometimes you're just like he's just funnier than i am. I don't really think that that's it at all. That's how it feels sometimes. There's always going to be people that are funnier than any of us. Except for me, maybe.

Well, there's definitely nobody as humble as you. That's for sure. But I mean, it's not like every famous comedian is funnier than us. I mean, there's just there's different types of humor and different reasons. And yeah, I was I was thinking that earlier. I think it's mainly just how many hours you put in. Probably.

Well, yes. Yes. And no. Right place. Right time. That's you got to put in the work to be discovered, maybe. But to be like a professional comedian. Yeah, I guess that depends on what your definition of putting in the success.

Yeah. What you think being a successful comedian. Yeah, I guess that depends on what your definition of success is. What you think being a successful comedian is. Because I would totally be fine with just like being a road comic and making a living doing it. And just so I don't have to do anything else. If I can just do that, then I'm totally fine with being a sad road comic who is never heard by anyone other than people in fucking Topeka, Kansas. The place I'm at now is so much further than I ever thought it would go, to be honest. I didn't think I'd be like... Yeah, I didn't have any aspirations a few years ago to be like...

Well, that's good. Set your bar low. And then... I'm grateful for... I didn't start off like, I'm going to be a famous stand up comedian someday. I was just like, I should like try some of this comedy stuff. Yeah. That's kind of that's kind of how I I would.

I never went into it like, oh, this is going to be what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Like it was kind of like my friends were like, you're funny. You should do try doing stand up. And I was like, I don't know. And then I kind of like was wishy washy for like, you're funny. You should try doing stand-up. I was like, I don't know. Then I was wishy-washy for a year or so. I was like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm going to do it. I did it and I was like, oh, I actually really enjoy

doing this. I'm decent at doing it. I don't know. I would say I'm good for how much experience I have. I mean, for two years, you're darn good. Oh, absolutely.

Thank you. Absolutely. I appreciate that. Absolutely. I've only seen you once. It was at the Sean Bullens when you were hosting for Mike Finozzo's recording, but you were really funny. Oh, thank you.

That was fun. That was a good show. Yeah, that was a really good show. So it couldn't have been that good. No, yeah, yeah. I mean, well, they were grading it on a different scale, you know, when Mike's not there. Good for that. Yeah, it's all relative, I suppose.

But, yeah. Albert Einstein and whatnot. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. All right, so we are going to wrap this thing up now because I want to eat dinner. But I like you. I mean, I could talk for a while, but there's time. Don't take this personally but we're

going to end the podcast. You mean this isn't like no offense? We're not doing this for four days? Have you ever been okay with what someone's followed with no offense with? No offense. I hate your face. But I'm going to rip your fucking heart out.

Alright well I'll put you on the lifetime resentment list right now. Oh, there you go. Doesn't that come with all Catholics? With all? All. Anything to plug here? What do you got?

What do you got to plug over there, Justin? Oh, I got tons of stuff to plug. Here it comes. There are plenty to plug. Plenty. My mouth, my butt, my ear. Oh, just the one? For those listening, he has one big ear.

One giant ear hole. Yeah. Now, tomorrow night, I'm doing Chris Hudson's room. Oh, that's right. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Where's that? What is that?

Oh, God. It's like a one name, one word. I forget what it's called. But anybody on Facebook, just look up Burger King. Just look it up on Facebook. Doing a show at Applebee's. Everything will be okay. Half-priced fajitas, skillets.

Yep. Come on down. Remington area. Really? Yeah. Cool. Maybe I'll check it out and set a sidebar tomorrow. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like me, Nick Mullen, I think Tisdale's on it. Umar's doing it. Umar's on there. Chris is hosting. Should be a really fun show. Nick Oldershaw, I think. Yeah. Should be, yeah.

Seems like it's going to be a good show. Good crowd. And it's the first show he's done. So, popping that cherry. Should be very nice. I'll try and swing by. Very nice. I'll be expecting to see you there and I will be heartbroken

if I don't see you. I live in that neighborhood. If you can send me a remindatory text, I would much appreciate that. Okay, I can do that. I'll send you something. Don't be old internet tubes. Anything else?

Do you have a Twitter? I do. I didn't ask what it was. Fair enough. That was my bad. Go ahead. You already started. Ask what it was. I just want to know if you had one. Fair enough. That was my bad. Go ahead. Go ahead. You already started.

You may as well finish it. You already fired that. Go ahead. At Justin underscore Hancock. Boom. There it is. There you go. You got anything else?

Yeah. On Instagram? You on Vine? No. I don't fucking. You got drugs? Eh. What are you using?

Meth? Uppers? Downers? Black beauties? Zingers? Zappies. That's fine. I love that part in old movies where they start listing.

Yeah, just listing dope. Dope, downers, uppers, rubies, libbies, shim shams, hobble gobs. You better not be on shim shams in there. If you've had any tiki tanks today, I swear to God. I'll break this door down right now oriental blackjacks yeah i want to know where the fuck were they getting railroad tire yeah everything kind of had like a racist a racist everything was racist yeah anything everything had an under everything i don't think you're

allowed to start like it sounds like you could get a license to do anything if it wasn't racist yeah you couldn't be a private eye and i'm assuming most of most men were private eyes yeah 50 gum shoes that was that was the main job yeah everyone's just spying on each other i recently learned that um you know uh sprinkles the dark sprinkles that are called jimmies? You ever hear that? That has a racist origin because... Filipino? I call them jimmies.

Every time I see one of those pinos. Fucking jimmy. Jimmy a pinot. No, it goes back to Jim Crow. Really? Black. Then those were Jimmy's. Really? Yeah.

Because my grandma would say Jimmy's all the time. I'd be like, what's the difference? She's like, oh, it's just sprinkles. But maybe she doesn't know either. These ones can't swim in our swimming pools. These ones are always trying to get with the white ones. The white sprinkles. Yeah, these are only on three-fourths of

a cake. These are in the back of the cake. I don't want to see the jimmies in the front of the cake. Or I'll throw it away. Oh, goodness. They taste the same. They get the same shaker as everyone else. We just keep them separate. The one shaker's

a little dirtier. They pick all the brown ones out of the rest of them. Oh, goodness. Oh, racism. Our rich history in this country. It's funny to think how much you love your grandmother and how fucking racist she is. Yeah, I think maybe she didn't

even know either. She knew. She always did dress up like a ghost a lot. My grandparents on my mom mom's side at least, I think were, like, progressive for their time, but still a little racist here and there, you know? Like, they, you know, like, my grandfather, I think, was very adamant about, like, keeping his bakery desegregated and everything. But you'd still, like, kind of hear, like, a comment, like, oh, this is a black part of town. Maybe we shouldn't drive through here or something like that.

Yeah. I mean, there's still the – there's some – it's just so ingrained that it's hard for them to, like – I know. I think, like, not being racist was just something that popped up in the 60s. Like, hey, I got – kind of like not being homophobic kind of just started a few years ago. Oh, wait.

We can treat them like humans. Nobody noticed that it doesn't matter if you're gay. We're eagles? What? Everybody just like somebody just spread a rumor like in the year 3000 BC that like being gay was evil or something. And it's taken until like 2006 before anyone noticed that it doesn't matter. Yeah. What?

You mean there's absolutely no reason? Right. The amount of hate and where it goes is ridiculous. Even just thinking about the sprinkles thing. Even something as sweet as something that goes on ice cream. Let's name it after the Negroes. What?

This delicious treat. I know my dad's parents were all sorts of racist yeah like they he was the first my grandfather was the first person i ever heard use the n-word because my grandmother was thought she was being nice and she got all of us two dollar bills and she framed yeah yeah yeah she she framed them and she was like what color what color do you want the frame to me and my brother was like i want blue and my other brother was like i want red and i was like i would i want a black one and my grandfather went you're gonna pick that yeah and he was like you want to pick that n-word

color and then i was like that was the first time i had heard the n-word so racist and i was like approve of a black frame for a two dollar yeah now that i think about it i was like that's not a black color person color at all i feel like that's not a black person color at all if it was a black person color I would be like I want it to be bright purple with gold medallions all over I want spinners on my pit my frame

pit my $2.00 frame exhibit sunk pretty low because that's a new show he learned i just heard that and he's picking that up that's on mtv now your dog exhibit sunk lows is the new show i learned i learned the that the middle finger meant fuck you from my grandma on accident because i saw i got in trouble at preschool because i gave a kid the finger and my mom i got in trouble and my mom uh was picking me up at the end of the day or whatever i I think it was like daycare or something like that. And she's like, what did you do?

Where did you learn that? I was like, grandma does it to grandpa all the time. She was pretty embarrassed about that. So I just thought it was like, oh, grandma. Your grandparents, the grandparents from Everybody Loves Raymond. That's them. That's my Ray Romano impression. Give me the finger.

Deborah. Okay. So Justin underscore Hancock on the Twitters. The Twitters. And then so Sean Bolins is every other Tuesday in Bel Air. First and third Tuesday of every month. And Dark Horse is second and fourth Wednesday of every month. You guys should think about changing that name.

Dark Horse? Dark Horse. Come on. The name of the bar? Yeah. Yeah, you should change it. Jimmy's Horse. Jimmy.

Jimmy. And Delia Foley's is... Every three Thursdays. Okay. All right. That's in Fed Hill. Oh, go to our website, colormefunnycomedy.com

and check out our sketches. I think it's colormefunnymd, I think. Whatever. But yeah, you guys have a bunch of sketches and stuff and check you out on facebook color me funny and uh mike moran what do you got uh oh your mic's out we'll be doing the uh this weekend at eight o'clock uh prime spot repeat again as good as ours i can't oh yeah ours is way better uh i'm doing something that's called Beatleprov where

we're all the members of the Beatles who just took an improv class and we got a really early spot so it's going to be good. Is it like a festival? Yeah, it's a UCB does it every year. It's 72 hours of improv and I think it's 24 hours

of improv and then they have other live shows like Nick K kroll's gonna do a live show uh chris gether is gonna do his show yeah it's gonna be a lot of fun sounds fun but yeah i go up at 4 15 in the morning what's your uh twitter account again 4 15 yeah jesus christ yeah i got i didn't book it or wasn't a part of it from the beginning but somebody dropped out and, do you want to join? I'm going to be in New York anyway. Sure. Yeah. Wait, when is that?

So your actual troupe isn't performing? No, it's a mix. It's Kathy Carson, Miles Neater, myself, and Ethan Cooper. Yeah, I was actually kicked out of Beatles Probe early on. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I'll probably get kicked out again. It's going to be a fucking mess.

4.15 in the morning? Right. I'm kind of doing it just to get a story out of it. I hope there's like a drunk guy in the audience. The funny part is, too, is like, so if it's Beatleprobe, how does it work? Like, how do we know who we are? Like, oh, we let the audience pick. Like, that's cute.

You guys think there's going to be an audience at 4.15. That's nice. So either way, it should be fun. I don't know where it is. Don't come to it. Yeah. Okay. So. Oh, it should be fun. I don't know where it is. Don't come to it. Yeah. Okay. So.

Oh, yeah. No, keep plugging Depression Fest. Okay. And then I'll be doing improv in D.C. on July 12th. And that's actually going to be a decent time. It's going to be at 8 o'clock. And I'm pretty sure it's at the D.C. Arts Center. And that's a lot of fun.

That's a Chinese menu comedy. Look that up on Facebook. It's a mix of Baltimore, DC and New York improvisers coming together. That should be fun. Follow me on Twitter at BetterRobotJosh. I'm making Vine videos.

Josh Koderna on Vine. You can stay abreast of all of our upcoming dates at digressionsessions.com slash calendar. And, yeah, that's about it. All right. Justin, thank you for joining us. A lot of fun. Of course.

Thank you for having me. I had a great time. Good. Best time I've had probably today. Woo! Good. Good. Okay.

You talked to your girlfriend a couple times today, right? Talking dirty. Talking dirty. All right. Thanks, Justin. Thanks, Justin. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.. you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you