The Digression Sessions - Ep. 82 - Chris Hudson Returns!

Episode Date: July 23, 2013

Come see us live! DigressionSessions.com/Calendar @CWHudson @DigSeshPod @BetterRobotJosh @MichaelMoran10 Josh Kuderna on Vine! --- Hola DigHeads! This week on the Digression Sessions we have Chris Hudson! Chris is a local stand-up comedian, musician, and wacky facial hair enthusiast who recently nearly died in a car accident! Nice try fate, but when the Digression Sessions schedules you, not even the cold scythe of death gives you an excuse to cancel. On this episode, Chris reveals all of the traumatic details of his rendezvous with life’s hard and indifferent final act, as well as his perfectly trimmed sideburns! Luke Perry, move to the back of the bus! Chris isn’t the only one willing to get real this week. Mike questions if to-go coffee lids are intentionally designed to drip coffee everywhere while Josh finally calls out and exposes the most evil individuals on the planet today. Hint: it has nothing to do with a recent, personal, experience of first-world inconvenience.  Furthermore, tow truck yards are the scum of the Earth! Hey everyone, look for Josh and Mike’s improv and stand-up dates on the Digression Sessions website. Also, if you get a chance please leave us a review and or rating on iTunes. And hey, why not subscribe to us on Stitcher? Would that kill you?! Thanks DigHeads!  

Welcome to the Digression Sessions Podcast. Hey everybody, I'm Josh Koderna. And I'm Mike Moran. And you're listening to the Digression Sessions Podcast. A Baltimore-based comedy talk show hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence as we interview local and non-local comedians writers musicians and anyone else we find creative and interesting yes who's the guest this week chris hudson is our guest on this week's program yeah that right dang tootin you can follow

him on twitter at cw hudson and he'll be hosting a show a new a new comedy show to the baltimore area michael moran called everything will be fucking great you better expect it your money back if it's not fucking great it's a a long title. It's a bold title. Yeah, no. It's good. I'm just kidding, people. It's called Everything Will Be Okay. And it's a very fun show.

That should be okay. Yeah, exactly. And when it's better than okay, it's fucking great. Okay. But yeah, check out that show. Look for it on Facebook. The next show will be August august 6th at the crown um and uh yeah so look for everything will be okay on facebook for the invite and all the details and comedians

that are going to be there it's going to be a super fun show oh yeah oh yeah speaking of super fun shows this is chris's second time on the show we're happy to have him back he talks about a near-death experience he had. And then I bitched about my car getting towed. And it was a... This was a really fun show. And I bitched about Monster Magnet. Yeah, I think we covered all the gamuts.

Yeah, we all got it off our chests. We got it right off there. And if you enjoy the show, please follow us on Twitter. Tell a friend about the show. Give us a review on iTunes. We're on Stitcher. You can follow my main man A's over there. My main, main man. My

co-pilot when Jesus calls out sick, Mr. Mike Moran. He is at Michael Moran 10 on Twitter. He certainly is. I am at Better Robot Josh. The podcast is at Dig Sesh Pod. Let's keep it that way good hype man over there and follow me on vine if you get a chance it's my hype man over there and I'm Josh Coderna on vine and that's enough

for the plugs like I said if you like the show, please tell a friend. You can find us. Also, come see us live. Sorry, that's not it for the plugs. Come see us live. Check out digressionsessions.com slash calendar, and you can see all of our upcoming dates. I will be at Chuckle Storm this Wednesday at the Auto Bar. That is July 24th. The show starts around 8. It's a comedy talk show.

We're going to have lots of good guests. It's going to be stand-up, sketch, and some interviews. It's going to be a lot of fun. On the 28th, I'll be at the Yellow Sign Theater, a part of Super Comedy, doing a set there with Umar and Stav for their fun show. And then we have the big Baltimore Improv Festival coming up, Mike. That is correct. August 1st, Pop 6 will be performing at 8 p.m.

Yes, and it's at the Creative Alliance, all the shows, and I will be there August 2nd, Friday, August 2nd, performing at 8 o'clock with Gus, and then 10 o'clock with Bully Union. So check out digressionsessions.com slash calendar, and that has links to all the event pages and where you can get tickets and all that stuff so without further ado thank you so much for listening and uh let's get

into the episode shall we bye bye we love you Recently, and I don't think it was as bad. We were just kind of reading into we're actually kind of joking around was with the uh uh the baltimore improv group a couple troops uh people from different troops are hanging out where we practice and i think it was after practice right and uh it was bully union practice which is a side troop technically and uh one of the guys roy who's in lecker he was like, so what's this? Is this training for prom? I mean, it's not bully union, right?

You guys aren't doing that anymore. We're like, well, actually, this is bully union practice. He's like, oh, good, good, good. What did he say? It was something like that. Or it might have had to be with our format. He's like, you guys still doing a Herald? And we're like, yeah, we are, actually.

He goes, oh, okay, yeah, good. That's a fun format. Remember back when you guys were stupid and you were doing the Herald? Yeah. That's stupid good. Stupid fresh. Maybe that's like how the term bad turned good, you know? Like, no.

Well, no. Bad is actually now slang for for good that's yeah that's how michael jackson started it's like your nose job is bad it's like what do you mean i mean bad good like it's the baddest he's like oh who's bad somebody was just like yeah there was some some servant or something walking around your your. They looked really bad. They had curly hair and this weird nose. They were touching kids? Yeah, it was bad. Allegedly.

They were allegedly touching kids. Yeah, bad means good. We do not want to get sued by the Jackson estate. Again, this month. Again. We are constantly in the microscope. First you say, well, no, we have the Beatles catalog and then you're like

touching kids and now it's a whole lawsuit. Right. Yeah. No, Josh was just saying he had a classic Beatles catalog and all of a sudden we're getting

court-ordered mandates. Oh, boy. Subpoenaed. Yeah. Yeah. Subpoena. Subpoena Sunday. Those are my favorite Sundays

My favorite It's pretty close to penis Subpoenas File these subpoenas Subpoenas Get these subpoenas out of here Out of my office These are the biggest subpoenas I've ever seen

I gave that son of a bitch A huge subpoenas I want you to stick that subpoenas I've ever seen. I gave that son of a bitch a huge subpoenas. I want you to stick that subpoenas right in his face. Wave it around. Put it in his mouth if you have to. Taste this subpoenas. Get his attention. You shove that subpoenas up in there.

I don't care. What you got to do? Chris, Chris, Chris Hudson. Hey. Hey. Hey. What's happening? I don't know if we have an extra pair of working headphones unless, do you have a pair of earbuds on you? No, I do not.

We keep it professional here. I could always fashion a pair. Go somewhere else? I mean, if. Paul, Josh, and I record. Go to the podcast next door. Yeah. Do they have a podcast now? Next door? Yeah,, go to the podcast next door. Yeah. Do they have a podcast now?

Next? Yeah. It's the, uh, you made it weird. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Bullshit.

Something like that. I don't know. Oh man. Nerd network. I don't know. Man. So now you guys are like competing locally. That's.

Yeah. Well, I mean, competition breeds success for the most part. Yeah. Besides those that lose, but we're going to step on their skulls towards the victory. Yep. Towards the victory. Yeah. You're following the Apple model.

Yeah. Big time. Yeah. We also have a whole factory of Asian workers. Right. Working all the time. And we've recently set up nets that they can play in. Some call them suicide nets. But, you, but I think that's a language barrier.

Because they're forced to work there instead of voluntarily signing up because it's better than the alternative. Anyway. Yeah, let's move on. Chris Hudson. All right, we'll go without the headphones. Hey, we're going headphone-less. No sound drops in this one.

What if I'm just playing sound drops like, Chris is stupid. Yeah, I feel like that's what you're doing right now. No, I'm not playing anything. No sound drops. You don't have to sound drop it. You can just say it. Oh, yeah. Chris is stupid. There you go. Feels good. Cut my own sentences off.

Stupid, funky. So I was at the store the other day. Moran's an idiot. And then I was getting some groceries. I believe you would say that about my uncle Is that the intro to 1979? That's it I feel like stupid was kind of like the cousin of bad that never quite

made it through you know Remember for a while there people were trying to say stupid in a positive context Usually followed by fresh Oh yeah Remember the grocery store? Super stupid fresh? Remember that? Stupid fresh.

You got to misspell it, though. If you misspell it and then put a bunch of extra vowels in there, it makes it... Yeah. You put a couple O's. Yeah. It makes it even stupid. Oh, that's so stupid. That's so stupid.

Oh, that's stupid. That's so stupid. I don't know. I'm not going to... Yeah. That's a bad stereotype that Italian people say I don't know. I'm not going to. Yeah. That's a bad stereotype that Italian people say that. Oh, I thought Rosie Perez just walked in the studio. Remember her?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, you remember me? That's stupid. Remember when she's getting funky at the beginning of Do the Right Thing to public enemies fight the power? I've never seen that movie all the way through. You son of a bitch.

She shows her boobies in that movie. It's pretty much the only Spike Lee movie that's worth seeing from what I can remember. Yeah. Malcolm X was pretty good. Oh, yeah. I like Malcolm X. Well, I mean, Denzel makes that movie. Right.

Inside Man was good, but he didn't write that movie. Is that the one where he claims that people are going to be immortal by the year 2030? No. It's about a bank robbery, but maybe I missed the metaphor. It's a deep film. I thought you guys were going to rank civil rights leaders there for a second. Yeah, Malcolm X was good. Martin Luther King.

Martin Luther King, you know what? A little bit. I didn't care for the ending. Didn't care for how that went down. It was not a fit. Yeah, I guess Malcolm X did have a better. How come there hasn't been a Martin Luther King biopic? I don't know.

Maybe they'd have to show the cheating. Well, they would. They did in... What's it called? Edgar or whatever? Hoover? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. How he was. It's weird that they called it his first name. Jedgar. Jedgar. Yeah. But the

actor playing Martin Luther King Was like I don't know I don't think anyone took that scene seriously Because it's just like the actor I don't think I think it was Cedric the Entertainer Come on motherfucker

Wait did he die? Cedric? Yeah No Bernie Mac died Yeah Bernie Mac died Yeah Cedric the Entertainer in heaven now

R.I.P. Right? Right? Cedric, the entertainer in heaven now. RIP. Right? Right? Cedric, the heaven entertainer. All right. So, Chris Hudson, comedian. How the hell are you? You know, been better.

Been better. Definitely. Yeah. What's wrong? Yeah. What? Oh. You can tell us.

Well, you know, I like just told him my car the other day. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. You almost died, right? We'll post car the other day. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. You almost died, right? We'll post that picture on the website. Oh, feel free to.

That's pretty. The wreckage is pretty insane. It looks like you should be dead. Yeah, yeah. That's what everyone tells me. And that's just looking at you right now. Yeah. Are you eating enough vitamins?

You look like you should be. I mean, you guys told me I look like I should be dead before I told you about the accident. I mean, you look like you should be. I mean, you guys told me I should be. I look like I should be dead. Like, before I told you about the accident. I mean, you look like you should be murdered. Yeah. He's too smiley, that guy. Yeah, I could see that. I could see that.

No man alive should have those sideburns. Besides J. Edgar sideburns. J. Edgar's younger brother. J. Edgar's. First of all, they would have the same last name, not the same first name. Let's move on, Mike. Jay Edgerside. We have reached new lows.

Let's agree to disagree. The man almost died, and you want to quibble over last names? How dare you, sir? Although, in Mike's defense, I did check my sideburns immediately after the accident. You're like, does my insurance cover sideburns? You're like on the phone. Yeah. Sideburn loss.

Do I have that? Anything? There's like bones sticking out of your arm. You're still like checking your sideburns in a crack mirror. Checking my sideburns. Yeah. Thank God. Yeah.

Paramedics. How are his sideburns? You all right? Get him on the heli. They don't have time to say helicopter. Get him on the heli. Yeah. They time to say helicopter Get him on the heli Is this Britain? British people will add a Y to anything

Anytime they can Yeah, telly Jelly It's usually not with a Y Queenie to us God save the Queenie Well, I was just saying, man Chris got in such a bad accident,

basically knocked him into England. You know what I'm saying? Come on, man. He's so bad. He's on a bridge up in that shit. Oh, it's coming down. Hey, I live by the river. You know what I'm saying?

On the bridge. Josh does not get the reference, and that's why he's doing air horns. Yep. Don't get it. Let's move on. Yeah. So how are you, though? You all right?

You look all right. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing. I look remarkably good for someone that was in. Yeah. I'm actually posing right now. Shooting your own horn.

I am posing. And I'm chopped liver. This guy survives an accident. All of a sudden, he's Fabio over here. Oh, hey. You know. He accident. All of a sudden, he's Fabio over here. He's the son of a gun. He's the son of a gun. Yeah.

I mean, I got a little bit of the cracked ribs, but, you know, it heals. It heals. It'll heal. A little painful. What do you do for that? Do you have, like, an ace bandage sitch going on around the ribs? Well, basically, just, like, take a lot of, like, Tylenol Motrin. Like, that's what they said. They just said a lot of Tylenol Motrin, you's what they said. They just said a lot of Tylenol Motrin as they were shoving me out the door.

That's the guy that works at CVF. Oh, no insurance? And they hit the trap door. Yeah. Step a little to the left, please. You fall into the dumpster outside. Yeah. Yeah.

The insurance lady came pretty quickly after the first doctor made sure I wasn't dead. Right. She was like, all right, so which insurance? That? Yeah. Which? Yep. Sideburns are okay send them home sideburns yeah they they did uh do a ct for my sideburns uh what is ct it's like a ct scan yeah you get it for your brain similar to mri i think but they have one for sideburns yeah okay yeah it's important yeah so the car is destroyed? Definitely, yes. Let's talk about the accident, though,

because it was during a torrential downpour, right? Torrential downpour, yeah. That seems to be the new norm for Maryland. There's only one speed for downpours. Actually, it was a terrestrial downpour. Some may say extraterrestrial. Because who... I mean, there might have been a few milliseconds where there were aliens that visited me before. It's like, oh, aliens are falling again.

Turn the wipers on. It's like little beings flying off your windshields. It's really dangerous. The weather, it's just insanely hot. You basically catch fire during the middle of the day and then some huge storm rolls in for a few hours. Yeah, as soon as I get off work. Every day it's like it's hot as shit while I'm at work. I'm fucking miserable.

Yeah. As soon as I leave, it rains on me. You're like living like a cartoon comic strip. I kind of feel like I am lately. Don't we all kind of feel like that sometimes? Like the world's just conspiring against you. And then it's a comic strip. Yeah.

Yeah. That's kind of where I've been. And then I go home and then it immediately stops raining. And yeah that's kind of where i've been and then i go home and then it immediately stops raining and then it's like hot as shit in my house and i can't sleep the sun comes back i have to come here and interview chris hudson sideburns metaphorically you're speaking right right yeah okay every night i feel like i face chris hudson sideburns stop licking me months ago yeah that was months uh sure sure sure all right so this this accident you're where where are you when you're you're driving yeah i was uh i was

driving to work and uh yeah i mean you know how that is right yeah you're already like on your way get me out of there you know what i'm saying i don't want to be going to nowhere yeah you're you're on your way there and you're already like getting me out of there. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to be going to nowhere. Yeah, you're on your way there, and you're already getting me out of here. Yeah. Yeah, and this truck got in front of me. He just emerged in front of me. Were you talking 18-wheeler? It was like an F-450.

It wasn't like a semi. It was just like a... Pull on. I mean, I say F-450 like I know what that is. I still don't know what that looks like. It had a Hemi it right i i would assume so sure i assume it had a hemi dual exhaust double cam shit knockers yeah probably uh auto temperature controls you know back off mud flaps with tasmanian devil oh yeah i forgot to check if i had balls on it i did that's my driving call 1-800-EAT-SHIT-BUMPERS-BICKER.

Yeah. The balls are probably what wrecked your car. Because if he moved, they were probably swaying. And once those big old balls. His balls are like way too long. They're just swinging all over the road, hitting people. It's America, man. Deal with it.

Deal with it. Yeah. My truck, my sack length. Well, it's a sack length that really got yeah it's not the length it's the humidity yeah i don't know that it that expands the balls the truck nuts yeah i mean just like it's like it's cold did the truck nuts like shoot up yeah they do a little bit it's embarrassing there's a button for that yeah nuts inside you gotta get some nut warmers too it's like it's like right before that guy goes home to see his wife,

presses the button and the nuts go inside the truck. He's ready to meet his wife. He has to hide the nuts from his wife. Yeah, for multiple reasons. They don't have a good relationship. Let's not get into it. Yeah, this guy and his wife. Where's the Batmobile app ever?

Pull up the nuts. Let the nuts ascend. All right. So let's get into this here. So this guy cuts you off. Yeah, and I went to avoid him. How fast are you going? Oh, you know, about 50.

The speed limit on the road I was on was like about 55. Okay. I was going about 50. It's pouring down rain. Pouring down rain. Torrential downpour extraterrestrial what kind of downpour are we talking here we're talking uh biblical amounts of rain like i was about to text someone like one of those days where it's like what the fuck

is going on here yeah yeah it seems like somebody's just like dropping like a gigantic uh bucket of water in like everywhere like every square foot like i would i would be inclined to tell someone to tell someone else to please start building an ark that's how much water right it's coming down yeah tell your friends tell you please tell your friends tell two friends to tell two friends uh get a get a kickstarter going we need an ark um you know but yeah so uh he kind of kind of coming off and went to avoid him so i wouldn't hit him in this uh torrential downpour yeah uh kind of we got made raining while this was happening oh yes actually there was water coming uh from the

sky and amounts that were uh potentially Whoa, burying the lead here. Water falling from the sky. Actually, it turned out being extremely unsafe in my case. Yeah. At least it wasn't shooting up from the ground. Oh, yeah. Randomly, you know, like Old Faithful or something. Then you would have really been in trouble.

What, like a little rain volcano in the middle of the street? Yeah, like if it was just randomly shooting up like bolts of like fire hose-esque makes like the the worst comfort person is just making up scenarios that never happen hey man at least the fire wasn't shooting up from the ground then he'd really be in trouble at least you didn't have to fight a ninja hell man yeah so this story is gonna take forever we haven't gotten to this guy cutting you off yet oh well he well he's already cut me off i think so far in the story so he's cut you off you gotta slam on the brakes slam on the brakes we make a little contact i think we like uh make it's like a little little kiss i think little bumper to bumper little uh rubbins race

in action it was it was a little kiss yeah um you know you know how you kiss you you like you put the side of your of your body against the other person's. Oh, yeah. That's kind of how it was. Oh, yeah. You know, that kind of passionate. Sparks fly. Yeah.

Yeah. And then I lost control, started spinning like that popular game Crossfire from the 90s. Remember that? Oh, yeah. Crossfire. That was fun. I only remember the song.

I also remember the show on CNN. Oh. I think the game was based on the show. Yeah, it was. It was two political pundits as tops playing. That was like the only political show I could stand watching when I was a kid because they yelled at each other. It's like wrestling. Yeah, it totally was.

Yeah. Somebody hit somebody with a chair. It was like the WWE version of wrestling, of politics. WWE, what's your take on wrestling? Okay. So this guy's cut you off. You're spinning. I'm spinning.

Does the thing happen where time is slowing down? Because I've been in a car accident before where it's just, yeah, like that Matrix moment where I think it's so much adrenaline that you can't help but be present right is that happening and you're freaking out uh uh yeah it's happening but i i think i had it in my mind i was like i was like all right this is bad i can fix this like that's always the optimist yeah well i i guess or the control freak yeah yeah well you know one or the other i'm an optimistic uh uh control freak i think an opto freak i'm not yeah opto you smile when you're like i'll just do it myself asshole oh man uh it's uh like i like laughing because uh you can feel it in my

ribs oh yeah i remember that i remember when i had broken ribs and it would hurt when I would laugh. Yeah. It's made it easier to do comedy. Right. But, you know, literally because, you know, comedians usually don't really laugh at other comedians. We never do. We don't feel joy in either. Unless I'm watching a YouTube video myself.

Right. Exactly. Who's this brilliant son of a gun? Yeah. You're just leaving comments from alternate accounts like, this guy's great. He's pretty good. That is not a bad idea. Okay.

So you're spinning out. How many rotations are we doing? Are you doing a Tony Hawk 900? I went at least 360 before the car decided which direction it was going to go in. Uh-huh. Because I think I still had my foot on either. I had my foot on multiple pedals. I drive a stick shift, so there's three pedals.

Yeah. And one is the clutch. I had my foot on, you know, many pedals during the course of the spinning. This is a man with his foot on many pedals. Yeah. Yeah, hand in many jars, foot in many pedals. Right. Yes. That's the way to live life.. Hand in many jars, foot in many pedals. Right. Yes.

That's the way to live life. I mean, because I keep jars in my car. That's where, I mean, that's how you. Where else are you supposed to put your urine? Yeah. Right. In jars. Mm-hmm.

But. Yep. Yeah. And it picked a direction right into some woods and into a giant tree. The tree of life, I call it. Right into it. Yeah. because it saved your life well because it almost ended it so i feel like it has a decision making process in which it decides who lives right yeah well always the optimist you decided on tree of life over tree of death which i really was attempting to be that day. Yeah. I'm very optimistic, surprisingly, even though I almost died.

But, yeah, it was the tree. Because it smashed, it almost completely smashed my passenger side. Like, it hit me sort of in the center. But if somebody had been in my passenger side, they would be a smashed, like a watermelon sort of. Wow. And then the front end of your car. They'd have gone Gallagher. They would have, yeah.

Basically, Gallagher's act is recreating car accidents. What would happen? That's what the doctor would be saying to the next of kin. Your son has gone Gallagher. Mr. and Mrs. Henderson. No! Yeah. And then it gets even worse when he says, it's actually, it's later era Gallagher.

Gallagher 2. But the front end of your car was smashed too. Yeah, yeah, well that's where the tree hit. It was the front, right into the front end. Okay, and then you said, but the passenger side was smashed too? Yeah, well the way it hit is it just like, it kind of crushed the passenger side. Oh, okay, because it hit so hard from the front. Yeah, it hit so hard from, it kind of crushed the passenger side. Oh, okay. Because it hit so hard from the front.

Yeah, it hit so hard from the front, it crushed the passenger side. Wow. It kind of crushed the driver's side a little bit. Like, I did feel uncomfortable after the accident. I'll bet you did. But I feel completely comfortable. Yeah. Yeah, but.

I'm out of here. Yeah, I don't know what really was going through my head. Well, fortunately, it was not the tree. Yeah, almost. Besides the windshield, not much. Oh, yeah. Well, I did hit my head on the windshield, so if I ever drift off during this,

you're going to have to just excuse that. It's called editing. Yeah. And for all you listening at home, we maybe did it four or five times already without Chris noticing. You don't know. We could have been here for four hours or so. Yeah.

Maybe we recorded this in 1989 before there were even podcasts. Yeah. Chris Hudson's. Exactly. Exactly. Did you do research? That's actually the year I was born. Oh, really?

Yeah. Wow. 89. Yes, I did. Right off of the cuff. Yeah, you should take more credit for things right no i don't want to okay all right you don't have to take credit for that i'm not good enough to be taking credit no i'm not gonna do that no thanks i don't deserve that so have you been driving since uh yeah I actually got a rental car today. What do you got?

It's like a Mazda M3, I think. That's a nice pussy magnet you got there. Is that what it is? Is it an M3? Is that a car? Yeah. The M3 symbol is actually a pussy magnet. Okay.

Yeah, that's exactly. That's good. I like it because it's kind of like. I do feel bad that they arrested all those girls in Russia. Pussy magnet. Oh, yeah. Well, they got too political, those pussy magnets. Too political.

They sing that Space Lord Mother Mother song. Monster Pussy Magnet? Is that what you're going for? That's weird. I actually heard that song last night because i'm re-watching uh or not re-watching watching the sopranos from the beginning that was the weirdest hit ever yes sort of like an 80s revival in the late 90s and like that lasted like two songs including them and buck cherry oh yeah that's pretty much it i'm Continue, Chris. We were talking about Buck Cherry. Yeah, actually, Buck Cherry,

they drove by my accident, did not stop, kept going because they said they had to record another number one. What was they stopped to tell you that? They yelled it out the window. Sorry, Lodell. They made it part of their newsletter. That's cool. I love

the BCN, Buck Cherry. I think we all read that. That's cool. Yeah. I love the BCN bacteria. Yeah. I mean, I think we all read that. Yeah. That's really something we need to discuss. Are you weirded out about driving at all? A little gun shy? Yeah.

Yeah. I'm a little weirded out about driving. Definitely because I didn't realize, but part of the muscles that you use to turn the steering wheel are located kind of in your ribs. Uh-huh. Yeah. I feel like everything's connected. When I bruised my ribs, I remember every time I would move anything, you would feel it.

Yeah. Everything's connected to that area of your body. Yeah. Yeah, it's that old song. You know, the hip bone is connected to the rib bone, and the head bone's connected to the rib bone. Uh-huh. Everything's connected to the rib bone and the head bones connected to the rib bone. Uh huh. Yeah. Everything's connected to the rib bone.

Can we take that like even further existentially and say like, you know, the skull bone is connected to, you know, the wind. Yeah. I mean, isn't everything connected? Or like we're all like interconnected, just maybe not by bones. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Who's to say that we end with maybe not by bones. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Who's to say that we end with our skin? Wow. Exactly. Our epidermis. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. The most striking thing about the accident, I think, was when I got out of my car because the guy that had cut me off, he had pulled over. Oh. He was standing. Yeah, he was standing. Yeah. He was standing. It was nice to do.

Right. Yeah. You know, somebody spins out and it looks like they're dead. It's nice to pull over. He's like, I'm about to take a picture. Like, ah, crap. He's alive. Yeah.

Exactly. He pulls over. He's like always something, I guess. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Nevermind. Rotten.com. Click.

Yeah. I'm not going to win picture of the month. They have a contest. Oh my goodness. Yeah. He yeah he was uh he was looking for a photo op probably yeah right you know something to tell his uh his buddies uh-huh you know if he has buddies i don't know but uh i mean you know some people are friendless let's be honest sure friendless sad uh sad thought but but yeah. Absolutely. I've been virtually friendless at times in my life. Virtually friendless.

So they unfriended you on MySpace. Yeah. No, this is before. At zero. Virtually. So you're still waiting. I bet there would have been if there was MySpace at that time or close to it. Well, that's different, though, because people will still.

It's not like everybody who doesn't talk to you just like you know if i only was facebook friends with people that i actually talk to on a regular basis yeah i probably only have like 2 000 people right down from your 2 million yeah yeah absolutely yeah because you're yeah it's extremely popular that's the word it goes so much of your day just talking to 2 000 people it'll be a long time. I mean, no, I'm saying it must be that hard for you every day. For me, it's like 1,999 rejections. Wow. Oh, okay.

A lot of poking, too. Okay, so this fellow pulls over. You get out of your car. You say, hey, good thing you got some truck nuts because I'm going to rip yours off, pal. Yeah, I actually. Human nuts. Good thing you got some truck nuts because I'm going to rip yours off, pal. Yeah, I actually, my anger was pretty understated for the situation, I think. Because I kind of hobbled over to him a little bit, you know, kind of holding my ribs. I had just gotten out of my car, which is like.

Yeah, it would have been great if, like, you played it up, like you knew you were fine, but you crawl out. You're like, vengeance will be mine. I'll curse you and your family i mean i gotta say tell my mother i've always been slightly attracted to her just kidding buddy i'm fine i'm fine get the hell out of here yeah it was it was definitely i feel like a missed uh comedic opportunity yeah um you gotta think about these things before they happen yeah hey you know i i uh yeah i walked i walked over to him uh-huh right like i was holding holding my ribs was hollowing over my car is crushed like a soda can yeah uh if you know if you do that if you just leave them

normally and you recycle them that's fine too but it was not like that it was not in perfect recycling condition it was crushed. I talked and he looked at me and he's kind of in shock a little bit. This is the first thing he said to me because he saw the car. He saw me. I'm holding my ribs. I'm in pain. Let's guess what it's going to be. Josh, go first. What was it?

Where's the beef? He actually might have been holding some Wendy, some Wendy's, you know, you could be frosty. His morning frosty. It's just Wendy's brand frosty. Do not talk to me before I've had my morning frosty. Okay. I'm sorry that happened, buddy. I was just, uh, wasn't done by frosty.

I didn't even finish this. This delicious, delicious frosty Now available in three different flavors. Frosty, Frostier, and Frostiest. Okay, so first thing he says to you. The first thing he says to me is, live from New York, it's set. No, that's not the first thing he said. That would have been good, though. He looked at me, and he said, hey, buddy, you need anything?

And I kind of. yeah, I said, really, really what I wanted to say in that moment. But, you know, I didn't because he looked scared. I want to say, yeah, a million dollars. I want to say, no, I'm fine. I'll walk it off and just start walking, you know, hobbling, hobbling away from the accident. I'll hobble it off. Yeah. We'll just, we'll just hobble.

But no, but I, I suggested to him that he might want to call an ambulance and I might want to call 911. Because I'm about to kill you. Yeah. Or beat you close to it. Yeah. Right. Right.

And, uh, and I, I don't know. I just, uh, felt like his, his, his, his reflexes weren't completely, although I was flexing, I was flexing in front of him. So probably I had to be, yeah. Relatively speaking, you probably wasn't able to keep up with your moves.

Yeah. I mean, I was flexing in front of him and he asked me if I need anything. You had your shirt off at this point. Yeah. You know, I was just, I was in hand.

Yeah. Body grease in hand, just wounds all over me from the yeah you know i was just i was in hand yeah body grease in hand just wounds all over me from the accident but i was just just like trying to grease up trying to rip pilates yeah you know because i'm not gonna let this accident you know ruin my routine right oh no way yeah you were doing pilates while you were driving correct well i had a yoga i had the yoga mat unfolded oh okay uh at that point yeah, but I had not put myself onto it to initiate. Maybe that's where you went wrong. Yeah.

Maybe that's why you got a little bit of a gut today. Oh, well, it's accident weight. Accident adds 10 pounds. At least. You eat a lot of fried chicken. Yeah. It's tough to do crunches, too, in the ribs and that stuff. You're just saying that to Josh. You eat a lot of fried chicken yeah it's tough to do crunches too you're just saying that to josh eat a lot of fried chicken

yeah no yes yes i do just sitting on a pile of chicken bones no i don't we've got to talk about your chicken problem okay go ahead lay it on me because there are buckets on buckets buckets on buckets buckets that's my new deal-hmm. Buckets on buckets. On buckets. That's my new deal at KFC that I get. You want them buckets on buckets?

Man, buckets. Get them buckets on buckets. Buckets on buckets. Whoa. You're at KFC. Wait till you... Why is it impossible for me to drink a cup of coffee with a lid and not spill it every single time i sit all the fuck over me

like why even have i think the lid is designed to make it spill on me i know that's the way you were saying is that the lid's the problem yeah so if there was no lid you wouldn't spill maybe not yeah you might be a little bit more vigilant that's true that is true yeah it's people getting bike accidents less when they're not wearing helmets. I mean, before lids. It's like NFL. I mean, before lids, and this is a fact, spills were not as the percentage as they are today with most people. Yeah, I know.

Spills are at. Skyrocketed. Spills are skyrocketing every day. Check your facts, Jack. Check the facts. They're over 70% at least. Go to Snopes.com right now. Yeah.

They'll prove it. They'll, yeah. They'll prove what lids have done. Fucking A. What lids have done. Starring Robin Williams. Oh, jeez. Lids.

What have they done? Okay, so is your insurance or is that guy's insurance paying for any of your medical shit? Going to get you a new car? Oh, well, that guy's insurance is kind of dragging their feet, you know, the way insurance companies do. Really? Wow. I know. It's a good thing I'm sitting down because normally insurance companies move so quick. Just a drop of a dime.

Yeah, well, they actually didn't even know about the accident until this past Wednesday. It happened last Friday, so they didn't know about it until a few days ago. So it's been eight days since the accident until uh until this past wednesday it happened last friday so they didn't know about it until uh until a few days ago so it's been eight days since the accident they've probably known for two it's been eight days since the accident two days since he told his insurance company he's a lion like a soda cannon yeah he's probably drinking the frosty because they're delicious yeah get a frosty buckets on buckets of frosty you guys you guys are set up for like three or four endorsement deals right now yeah yeah keep there the offers are rolling in we just might endorse we want to make the right decisions yeah before this becomes like you know right lids presents the digression session right make sure

that everything's on the up and up. Right, right. Or it'll be like, you ever see a movie, it's like a spyglass entertainment brought to you by Disney, produced by. I think we're going to have something like that, like brought to you by Cheetos, developed by Lids, in conjunction with the Frosty Bucket. You know, something like that. Yeah. And, yeah, well,'m uh glad you're alive oh thank you like i said we'll post we'll post that picture you got to take the good with the bad you know i'm glad mike's yeah you know we we're we're comfortable yeah to disagree on things

i didn't find out how polarizing i was until after the accident you know there's team death for Chris. Yeah. Almost. They're snapping their fingers. If the Final Destination films have told me anything, it's that death is going to be creeping up upon you at every given opportunity. And I hope he keeps messing up to be like a farce comedy

or something. You're always just to the left to the right. But with better sideburns right better burns exactly yeah yeah great great sideburns glad you were alive chris thank you thank i uh yeah oh yeah and like i said uh we'll uh post a picture on the the website but yeah your car was definitely crushed oh yeah definitely crushed definitely i went through some uh some recent car troubles as well. Really? Not an accident, but this was just yesterday after Artscape, which is a big festival that happens here in the city. I was there most of the day doing stuff with the Baltimore Improv Group.

We did little pop-up improv stuff, kind of like improv everywhere kind of stuff during the day. We did compliment fights. We had like 10 of us, and we'd make it seem like we're two gangs and then like rather be like man fuck you you're so stupid yeah yeah you would say that because you have a beautiful mouth and you're super smart and like people like kind of pay attention and stuff we had one guy come up to us he's like was that a skit was that a skit because i was about to call the cops over man so then we told him we're the baltimore improv group we did little stuff like that and we had a show at four o'clock this sold out show at uh it was free but

it was still packed but it was at the theater project and it was awesome it was stadium seating it was like oh yeah over 150 people i don't know it was a fucking shit ton of people it was a great show and uh i hung out like afterwards had a beer with some friends, walked around. I'm walking back to my car. It's gone where it was. Gone. And so I'm like, maybe it was stolen. Probably not.

I hope not. Maybe it was taken. Definitely taken. Right. Definitely taken because it was missing. And I see there's signs everywhere. It's like, if your cars will be towed by the auto barn, the auto barn, $500 to get your car back, $8 a day for every other day. So I'm trying to get a hold of my girlfriend.

She's not answering. It takes like nine calls. And I'm like walking, walking home. I'm so pissed walking all across the city. My car has been taken. And I finally get a hold of my girlfriend she takes me over to this auto yard and they charge me 280 to get my car back because i was a half hour past the time that i paid for i paid until five o'clock and i got back at 5 30 car was gone and i was so fucking pissed

i'm still pissed about it like they pretty much stole my car and then i have to pay to get it back and uh i thought i was okay but i'm an idiot and i fucked up military time i paid for the parking pass and it said i had it until uh 1656 why do they use military to fuck people up i'm sure i'm sure yeah i think it's part of the scam right and it's it's right off of north ave and i don't think too many people are like ah I got to get back to my car at 1656. That is really weird that they would use military time. Yeah, so I should have. So for some reason I was thinking 1 plus 5, 5 o'clock, 16,

but I forgot. I was like an idiot that it was going to be 12 too. Josh can only count up to 16. Yeah. As past listeners know, but, um, yeah, it's weird that they make those parting parking meters part of the military. I mean, Hey, thanks. So patriotic parking. That's true. That's true. And I should have known there was trouble too. Cause when I first parked there in the morning, um, I didn't get out to get a parking

pass. I was sitting there for a second. I had a sandwich. I was finishing it, and this guy comes up to me. He's like, hey, man, you got to get a parking pass to park here. I was like, oh, no, I will. I've turned down my sandwich. He's like, oh, okay, just watching out. So I'm sure that they pay that guy just to stay there to watch cars. And I was so livid, and I went and picked up my car, and I was so rude to this woman because she was rude to me too,

but the woman that works there was just so pissed. She's like, that would be two hundred eighty dollars. Like, really? Because you just stole my car as a half hour late and I have to pay you two hundred eighty dollars. That's how it goes. So do you like what you do? Do you like what you do? And my girlfriend, Amanda, she's like, just like, leave her alone.

Stop, stop. But I was like, totally that guy. Like, no, I'm going to tell her how I feel. I was like, no. And there is a family behind me that uh they had taken a cab to pick up their car that got towed and it was a latino family and i don't think they spoke english too well once they found out it was 280 the wife started crying she's like she's nine months pregnant and there's they had a little kid as well and they both had national

aquarium bags so i'm thinking this guy took his family in to go to the aquarium and he's like hey let's get some from the gift shop comes back car's gone 280 and she's just crying and crying and i was oh god it was awful it's just those people are the scum of the earth they're just profiting off of stealing cars basically you guys don't agree you're just staring at me it's really pissing me off i won't i can't quite go so far as to say they're the scum of the earth the scum i mean they are just i mean 280 dollars you got to agree they're close they're close to the bot they're close to the bottom well so they they make their own rates for what they charge you

like they're the towing company. Yes. Okay. Under those circumstances, I can see that. I can't say that I disagree with there being rules about parking. Yes. And sometimes you have to tow people. But the military time thing is pretty shady. That's sneaky. And you're right.

I mean, if they get to choose their own rates, it's not like they're really competing. Yeah. I mean, I don't know how that works with how they have, like, a deal with the city or whatever. Right. I don't know the extent to that either. And, yes, when it comes down to it, I should have paid the time through. Like, I was over the time. But still, the parking lot, there was tons of spaces. Right.

And it's a half hour over, and they take your car. Right. Just $280. That is fucking insane. Yeah. I feel like you'd paid for a little bit of grievance letting. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Right. Right. Well, also, I would have been rude to her if she would have been sure. Just the least bit of empathy or anything like, hey, I know. I know it sucks. I'm sorry. I know something is like, oh, you know. Or, yeah. or like you do you feel like you would you like a

mint yeah you know something something like hey did you get some sun it looks good yeah something something i noticed you walked all across the city because we stole your fucking car and what also weirded me out too is that my seat was in a different position they had moved it how does that work that they can break into your car and then drive it without the fucking keys. They don't drive it, do they? They just tow it onto the. Yes, but it was moved somewhere in the lot because the seat was way lower and further back. Interesting. Yes.

So they start your car somehow? Somehow, right? They had to. Are you sure they don't just, like, roll it out, like, have somebody sit and, like, steer it while someone else pushes? Yeah, but how would you be able to pop it into neutral without turning it on i don't think you can do that i don't know that is weird right so they have like a skeleton key or something for every car i'm thinking or they hot wired it i don't know they would not why not tear out the wires and like. The scum of the earth. He probably farted in my car a bunch.

The scum of the earth. I mean, they were only called hot wire towing. Yeah, I swear if there's one penny missing, you scum. Yeah. What if there was just like a big brown poop stain? I don't know. Other than mine that are normally in there? No, it's a brown. Oh, okay. Yeah in there gotcha yeah and the family behind me is crying uh the woman and uh amanda and i are like

we got to help them out we try we asked them six times if they wanted some money and really they kept saying no i still feel like a dick should have just given them money and then like no no yeah that was very selfish if you to offer to give strangers money. Yeah. And then not give it to them when they refuse to take it. I'm a big softy, Mike. I'm not the scum of the earth. I'm not the scum of the earth that works at the auto barn at 2515 West Lafayette.

And if that trailer happens to burn down, great. My problem. Not my problem. I voted for Kodos. Yes. Awesome. Also, there's tar. A bunch of tar stuck on the back of my back tire now.

I don't know how the fuck that happened. Well, it's free tar. Good point. Yeah. I'm going to scrape that. Auto Bar with complimentary tar. Joke's on you, Auto Bar. Guess who's got your tar?

You want your tar back? That'll be $280. Yeah. You have at least $5 worth of tar, I'd say. Yeah, that's true. And that just appreciates over time. Once I put that in the tar bank. Right, yeah.

Yeah, really. The interest on that tar. Yeah. Yeah, but I talked to my dad dad and he put it in perspective. He's like, well, at least you have the money to pay for it. Like, yeah, that's true. It's still it's wrong. It's goddamn wrong.

And it's like, yeah, fucking sucked. I had a really fun day. Had a good show. Come back. My car is gone. He goes, well, at least you had a good show. It wasn't a shitty show. Right.

Yeah. Really shitty. You had a shitty show and then you have to walk back your car's been towed so and then we played music last night at joe square we did and uh your amp kept cutting out though it wasn't yours but you're using i was using the other band's amp and it would just like turn off yeah it was and there's nothing i could do but like just rock harder just like rock out harder like that's the only thing i could contribute because i wasn't really playing you're playing like super elaborate air guitar basically i did find myself just being like fuck this i'm just gonna like be

rock star guy yeah you can't play anyway yeah but uh yeah that was kind of a crummy show all together honestly but not because of us. We rocked it. Yeah. I mean, where we played Joe Squared, it's a little pizza place. Oh, I mean, it's more than a pizza place. It's a restaurant, gourmet pizza and stuff. But most of the bands that they have play there are like bluegrass kind of acoustic bands. And I don't think we really gelled with the venue. Yeah.

The band before us, they were good and they were poppy. They played stuff that drunk people love Purple Rain It was like fucking A we do I mean it was Baltimore Purple Rain is the Ravens Purple Rain

That's what gets Ray Lewis all fired up He listens to Purple Rain Ray Lewis is just Purple Rain I Ray Lewis is just, Purple Rain. Yeah. I feel like until, I still think I've never heard the studio version of that song. I've mostly only heard people chant the chorus. Yeah.

And I still don't even know what that is exactly. It could be anything. It's like, Purple Rain. That's all I know. Propel. Propel. Yeah. Purple Rain. Purple. Purple need Purpell Purple rain Purple rain Purple rain

So it sounds like you have heard the remix I have Yes Yes I have So all in all it was fun We got a few good songs in there Just the band before us They set the tone of like drunk, happy vibe.

And yeah, they weren't really. That's kind of one of the music that's Polaroid rage. And then they didn't mention our band at all. Like when they were done, they're like, all right, that's it. Thanks. Good night. And everybody just thought that was the end. And I even heard a woman be like, no, they're playing a second set.

No, because I was being a dick. I was being a dick. And I was like, oh, man, is there a band from Baltimore playing? Is there a band from Baltimore playing? I heard there's a band from Baltimore playing. And this drunk woman next to me, she goes, no, they're going to play a second set. At least I hope they play a second set. I was like, yeah, me too.

Now I need to go set up my drums. Yeah. It sucked because we played really darn well yeah but uh yeah you know you should play another one with us i feel bad that you put in all that uh it was really fun to play drums i just love doing that anyway so yeah yeah i would love to do a show at a sidebar if we can but it was funny there was there always is it seems like there was one drunk guy in between a song when we were having technical difficulties and that was so awkward too because no one's saying anything like ronnie didn't say like hey one sec yeah she says her back to the audience they're like what the fuck's

happening so this old drunk guy comes up he goes you got any skinnered back there man really i didn't hear that yeah i was like no no we don't no, we don't. It's like, all right. That was, yeah, that's great. Like, when I DJed in South Georgia, my first year of college, and I didn't have many callers, like, call in during my shift. Yeah. One of the guys, and this never happened without fail,

one of the guys called in. It was like, I did a Friday evening shift. He called in. He was like, hey, man, you're doing a great job. You know, deep south. You got it. You got it. Slipknot, you can put on. And I was like, yeah, college radio station. Actually, there was some in the

library because I think they figured out where their demographic was. Even though it's a college radio station, it's like doing independent music. Are young kind of redneck types really into that like, that type of metal these days? Probably. I mean, when I was a kid, you know, like, the scary guys at the county fair were all into, like, Megadeth and Anthrax. Yeah.

I wonder if that's, like, the evolution. Yeah. I feel like they're always going to be into metal, Oz Fest type bands and things. So I think, wasn't Ronnie in a band with Chris? Yeah. There's a tie-in there, Chris? Yeah, there's a tie in there. Yeah, there is a tie in. She's actually, I think it might have been the band before the band that you guys are currently in. I think that might have.

Yeah, I think our guitarist heard you play guitar on some recording. Really? And said he thought you were good. Oh, really? I'd be interested to know which recording. Slipknot oh it was my slipknot cover yeah yeah my solo one was just me and an electric guitar yeah yeah acoustic electric with the uh bongo player the latin jazz using double pedals i look we did we did have bongos on one song and it's just really yeah it's it was a very It was a very short part in the song, but it's just like bongos.

Just bongos? Well, it's not like a bongo breakdown. One, two, three, four. I don't know. Is that what a bongo sounds like? I think so. Yeah. But yeah, I was in a band with Ronnie.

And I can relate to her not saying anything to the crowd. Yeah. She's a great singer, great voice. But just I think in between songs, she's like, all right, since I'm not singing, I'll just wait. Great stage presence while she's singing. Yes. I mean, the band I was in with her, we had a talk with her about it because we Cause we were like, like, listen, like you have to say, you have to say something. Right.

Like you are the person that's singing. Right. You're like the, you're the front person. We're all holding stuff. Yeah. And looking at you to talk. They're looking at you. Yeah.

And, uh, I think we, we played in all girls college in, uh, in, uh, Pennsylvania. Um, which isn't what it sounds like. I mean, it sounds like it was amazing. Talk about pussy magnet, right? It was family day, and there was, like, a guy in a panda suit. Like I said, pussy magnet. But, yeah, we played that, and it was like, okay, this is, like, Ronnie's chance. Like, we're outside, right? We're playing music, which is not a good combination sometimes.

And, you know, there's a crowd. There's people here. Like, we need to get her to kind of open up a little bit. And I think she might have announced that somebody's lights were on, because the sound guy asked her to. They're just like, is that the name of the band? They called somebody's lights were on?

Yeah. A 1996 Civic Honda lights were on, rocked. She did try, but I think it was more to the point of, hey, you guys are, how is it, you guys? All right. Yeah. Next song, one, two, three, four. Yeah, it's tough being a front person.

It is. It is. She handles all the other stuff, yeah, very lively. When the songs are going on, jumping singing her singing her heart out yeah once the song's over it's like all right let's wait till it's nice but uh but yeah it was uh it was i don't know i got free beer out of the show it was fun to play fun to play some drums and i will be back at some point um Also, I think we should probably wrap up soon. But, Chris, you are hosting a new room in Baltimore. Is it a biweekly show or is it monthly?

Right now. Is it biweekly or is it monthly? Oh, yeah. Wait. Is it every day or is it once a year? I know it's one of the two. Go on. I'm waiting.

It is once every 10 years. So you guys are lucky. Everyone's lucky. It's decadinal. Yeah. It's hosted by Cicadas. It's once every millennia. And I got chosen to host it.

I don't know why I thought that was funny in my head. Chris Hudson's millennial extravaganza. It's not funny at all. Why was I laughing? Sorry, continue. You're talking about your car, actually. Oh, yeah. So it was raining really hard.

There was a lot of water falling from the sky. It was raining. But I think right now, I think shooting for monthly might be every two months. Because basically, I am the guy that does all the stuff. It was a lot of fun last time. It was extremely hot in that room.

Yeah. But it was much fun nonetheless. Yeah, they're working on that. For anyone listening, it's going to be very, very cool. Next show. So cool. I mean, in cred, not in temperatures. It'll be like the Mike Moran of rooms as far as temperature.

Coffee stains everywhere. Coffee. Yeah, coffee stains everywhere coffee yeah coffee stains everywhere uh lids um on everywhere lids on cups where permissible um certain parts you can't have a lid sure right at the bottom of the cup but yeah it's at the it's at the crown which is a new venue they actually opened uh not too long before i had the first show. Nice. Which is called Everything Will Be Okay. What made you decide on that name? Because I was just thinking of titles, I guess,

for comedy things, I guess. I was just walking. I thought Everything Will Be Okay, that's a good all-inclusive thing. It could mean multiple things. It addresses our chronic anxiety of this generation. I'm no stranger to chronic anxiety. In fact, going through an episode

right now with you guys, I'm recording a podcast. Whoa! Yeah, see, quick on the feet sometimes. There he is. Even though I'm sitting down. He's not on the wheel. Hey, no, you're doing great. I'm standing up.

I'm standing. I'm standing up comedy. My show. It's... Words. Connections. You're like connecting it like a puzzle

from like the Riddler. Well, you know, you know when there's like a comedian that... I'm standing up. My show. You know when there's a comedian that's on stage

and it's like really worried about segues so they like really get into their segues or like, oh, there's a segue if's on stage. It's like really worried about segues. So they like really get into their segues. They're like, oh, there's a segue. You didn't know. Like the audience really doesn't. Yeah, I remember learning that early on.

Like you really don't have to care about your segues at all. Not really. I think sometimes subconsciously it can help for the audience, but you don't have to. Yeah. It depends on what kind of comedy you're doing, too. If it's more reality based. Right. Yeah. I mean, or you could just throw stuff at them, too. If it's more reality-based. Right. Yeah.

I mean, or you could just throw stuff at them. That's what I usually do. Like balls and spears. Trucker balls. Staplers. Yeah. A lot of steel trucker balls. Philosophy. Philosophy coming at you.

Ha! Philosophy. Philosophy. Philosophy's choice. All right, let's go. Ha! Floss... Floss... Floss... Floss... Floss... Floss... Floss... Floss...

Floss... But when is the... Floss Sophie's choice. All right, let's go. When is the next show? The next show is August 6th. Nice. At 8.

Okay. A clock. A clock. PM. PM. Usually, I mean, last time was 8 AM. It didn't really work. Right.

Yeah. Because most people at work... Yeah, it's... And actually, the address is 1910 North Charles, Usually, I mean, last time was 8 a.m. It didn't really work. Right. You know, because most people at work. Yeah. And actually, the address is 1910 North Charles, which is where the Crown is. Because I know a lot of people unfamiliar with the Crown. Yeah. Some people were like, they don't have a website.

Like, how do I find them? They only have a Facebook page that they set up like a few weeks ago. Right, right. And then there's always an event page. So if you just look for everything will be okay. And if everything is not okay for you finding it, it's around the corner from the windup on Charles Street. Boom. Boom.

Got some funny people coming up on it. Who's got the next show? I've got Tim Unkenholz, who I think you had on the cast. No, not yet, but we probably will. Okay, so I made that up in my head. Peter Muth, who I know you've had on the podcast. We've had the boots, though.

Oh, wait. Go ahead. Did I make that up again? I'm just going to start listening to people. Violet Gray is going to be on there. It's very funny. I've never even heard of Violet Grim. Violet Gray. I've never even heard of it. Violet Grim? Violet Gray.

I've never even heard of it. Two colors? That sounds weird. We're Grim. I mean, we can change the name. No, I don't know. We can change the name. We'll do it in post, on the poster.

Okay. We've got Luke Winneke, who was actually just on the Artscape comedy show. Yeah, he was on the show. Yeah, Luke. He was on the podcast. LOL. Luke was a lot of fun. Luke. LOL. Yeah. That's the name of the show. I'm not just saying LOL as like

a stand-in for my laughing. LOL! I know, I was going to be like WTF over there. Yeah, it was a show, a comedy show that they had at Artscape. I was going to say BRB, fellas. BRB. G2G. ASL? Yes, please. A lot of funny comedians.

It's going to be a good time. It's going to be definitely more than okay. Because the last one was more than okay. They were like, you're just saying that it's just going to be... You're saying you're going to have a mediocre comedy show. Maybe I am saying that. Well, you don't want to set the bar too high. I feel like everything will be mind-blowing.

Knock your dick in the dirt. Exactly. You don't want to have to live up to that. I don't want to live up saying that. Well, you don't want to set the bar too high. You're like, everything will be mind-blowing. Knock your dick in the dirt. Exactly. You don't want to have to live up to that. I don't want to live up to that. This way, if it's good, it's better than okay. It's all relative. It is all relative. Exactly.

Is that going to be the name of your new show? I am starting a new show. It will be at 1910 North Charles Street every other month. We're thinking about doing it every month. 7 p.m. Luke Winneke. Peter Muth. Violet Grit.

True Violet Grit. True. I like it. I like it. We were lying. We actually did have all those people on the podcast, except for the ones that we said that we did. Okay, cool. All right, cool. so i didn't make up a whole universe my head cool i'm not going great you didn't write you didn't write lord of the rings i didn't write

lord of the rings uh august 6 8 p.m it's gonna be a really fun time yeah so look for that on facebook uh everything will be okay just type that in the old search box. The event will pop up. It might be in City Paper pretty soon. Ooh, nice. Major big shot over there. Don't quote me on that, actually. Well, I guess now I'm quoted. Stop quoting Monday. Sorry.

He keeps doing air quotes. I mean, every time I'm talking, he's doing air quotes, and I don't understand. Is that a thing? It's getting a little condescending. It is. Oh, you have a show. An accident. Okay.

And you're at C.W. Hudson on the Twitters? Yeah, I'm on the Twitters. Nice. Making jokes. Just got past 1,000 tweets. Oh, snap. That's a milestone, people. And I feel bad for the people missing out on those tweets.

There's not many, but they're going to be. They better hop on the C.W. Hudson. Oh, it's going to be exploding soon with many, many tweets. There's not many, but they're going to be better hop on the CW Hudson. Oh, it's going to be exploding soon with many, many tweets. Yeah. You need to get a show on the CW called Hudson. Hudson. Tonight on the CW. CW Hudson. There it is.

It could be my Louis, and it's just me eating a sub just all day. Uh-huh. And there's got to be some teenage drama in there, too. A little bit. Teenage drama? Yeah. Oh, yeah, because of the CW. Yeah. I thought you were asserting that, like, I had a lot of teenage drama. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Because, yeah, all the shows on the CW is normally, like, ugh. Yeah. Jamie's not paying attention to me anymore. I need to. And that's, like, a whole. That's, like, a story arc. That's it. Yeah.

That's a whole season. The CW is the UPN and the wb having a child correct i believe yeah they merged yeah yeah so does that mean they have two channels now no just one how does that work no because the other one turned into like a more localized my it was like my which is the paramount channel oh yeah yeah i had the the old school things that were licensed by paramount yeah i, it would have those syndicated shows at 4 p.m. This Friday at 8, catch Paramount Man. Their superhero.

Yeah. It's just climbing that mountain that's surrounded by stars. Go, Paramount Man. Defeat Universal Man. It's a star for a logo. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, thank you so much for stopping by

it was a lot of fun we are glad you are healthy yeah thanks for having me yeah because that fucking wreckage is insane I mean yeah right after the wreckage I was like I hope I can still do the podcast no you made it you made it I've heard that statistically that is

what a lot of accident victims first think am I going to get cancelled on the digression session? I didn't think, am I paralyzed for life? I thought, am I going to be able to do digression sessions? Right. Which would mentally paralyze you for life if we said no. Yes.

It's a weird. It's a dichotomy. That's the tree of life. It's the tree of life. Dichotomy sessions. Yeah. The dichotomy sessions. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, Chris, thanks forichotomy sessions. Yeah. The dichotomy sessions. Absolutely.

Absolutely. Well, Chris, thanks for coming on the show. Thank you, Chris. We'll definitely have you back and come out to your show. Follow us on Twitter. Follow my man, Michael Moran, at Michael Moran 10. You said it. I'm at Better Robot Josh.

What? The podcast is at Dig Sesh Pod. Give us a rating on iTunes and maybe write a review if you're nasty. We're on Stitcher. All of our episodes are on there. Also, follow me on Vine if you're on Vine. I can't stress this enough, people. Josh Coderna on Vine.

He has some good ones. He really does. Yeah, there's some really good Vines. I have some good ones. I'm not just saying that because he slipped me a $5 bill. No, and I'm pointing a gun at your head. But other than that, he would just say it. He would say it anyway. He's a good ones. I'm not just saying that because he slipped me a $5 bill. No, and I'm pointing a gun at your head. But other than that, he would just say it. He would say it anyway.

He's a good guy. For a good time, check out Josh's Vines. There it is. There it is. And if you like this show, tell a friend. If you don't want broken spines, check out Josh's Vines. Josh's spine. Because his is fine.

Check out my fine spine. Now 20% less scoliosis. All right. Love you guys. Thank you for listening. Bye.