The Digression Sessions - Ep. 83 - Kenny Frankly!

Episode Date: July 30, 2013

Twitter - @Wisucproject @BetterRobotJosh @MichaelMoran10 @DigSeshPod Come see us live - DigressionSessions.com/Calendar ****Com Hola Digheads! On this week’s Dig Sesh we bid bon voyage to one of Baltimore’s many funny ladies, the always hilarious Kenny Frankly! That’s right Kenny is packin’ up her humor and headed to that other coast we’ve heard so much about. Kenny is a standup comedian and actress.  She spent a good portion of her stay here as part of “Velvet Jugular,” a desperate, untalented, act that never failed to disappoint audiences. Oh wait, I’m thinking of Velvet Revolver. Velvet Jugular is great! On this week’s ep, we discuss Kenny’s reasons for leaving this Detroit in waiting, as well as Josh’s unexpected connection to Kenny, and of course Kenny’s comedy and theater chops.  Oh and we learn Kenny’s real first, last, and even mother’s maiden, names. Thanks for the support DigHeads! Please write on our Facebook wall, subscribe to us on Stitcher, and maybe tell a friend or two about us. Love you!

Welcome to the Digression Sessions Podcast. Hey everybody, I'm Josh Koderna. And I'm Mike Moran. And you're listening to the Digression Sessions Podcast, a Baltimore-based comedy talk show hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence as we interview local and non-local comedians writers musicians and anyone else we find creative and interesting yes

who's the guest this week miss kenny frankly is the guest on this week's program and she's a very funny lady. A lady comic. Can you believe it, Mike? Wow. Next thing you know, there'll be lady pilots. Oh. And lady doctors. What? I don't even want to think about it. I know. It's like that scene

in Lincoln where they're like, if we free black people, then women could vote. Slippery slope. Yep, slippery slope indeed, but you know what? We're forward thinking people. We had her on the show. And you know what? She was a lot of fun.

She was. I enjoy that, Kenny, frankly. Very funny lady. Me too. And she will be leaving the Baltimore area soon and moving to old California. Never heard of it. Okay. Well, apparently there's gold in them hills and she's going for it.

She's going out there to pick peaches. She's leaving on a jalopy with her family. Yep. She was in black and white the whole time, too. It was really weird. Yeah, that was weird. She's already in the dust bowl. Right. too is really weird yeah that was weird she's already in the dust bowl right and you can follow kenny frankly on twitter at w-i-s-u-c project with uc projects and she'll be performing in

baltimore for the uh final time for a while the last time for a little bit farewell tour until she comes back she will be at delia foley's for the Color Me Funny show on August 8th. It's a free show. Starts at 8 o'clock. August 8th. Go see her do the stand-ups. Very funny. And speaking of upcoming shows, Mike, we got the old Baltimore Improv Festival rolling into town.

Right around the corner. Hey, now. Just in time for tax refunds. Whoa! Spend that money. Right around the corner. Hey, now. Just in time for tax refunds. Whoa! Spend that money. Spend it right. Spend it on some improvised comedy, huh?

Huh? I was hoping that would rhyme with you. Oh. Want me to try it again? Nah. Nah, yeah, let's move on. So it's Wednesday through Sunday at the Creative Alliance. You go to BaltimoreImprovFestival.org for tickets. And if you want to see your favorite pair of dig heads in action,

we have Mike Moran performing with Pop 6 on Thursday at 8 o'clock. That is Thursday, August 1st. And I will be there on Friday, August 2nd at 8 o'clock and 10 o'clock. I'll be with Gus and Bully Union. And I'll also be performing on Tuesday in the city of Arlington for some hot action comedy. And there will be, the show starts at 8. Let's see, I'm trying to find the exact location here because I'm a fucking professional. Here we go.

July 30th, 8 p.m., 3028 Wilson Boulevard, Arlington, Virginia, for some hot action comedy at the Hard Times Cafe. Please come check us out. The details and links for all the shows are on digressionsessions.com slash calendar. And that's where you can stay up to date on all of our upcoming performances. And we would love to see you guys live and if you want to really help us out give us a rating or mention the show to a friend and spread the good word of the digression sessions spread it like wildfire spread it

follow us on twitter I'm at better robot Josh Michael Morantin at Michael Morantin you might confuse them they'll just be typing it into their little computer boxes all wrong all wrong and follow me on vine it's Josh Kaderna and that's enough for the plugs confuse them. They'll just be typing it into their little computer boxes. All wrong. All wrong. And follow me on Vine. It's Josh Coderna.

And that's enough for the plugs. Let's get into the show with the very funny Kenny Frankly. As always, thank you guys for listening. We love you. Thanks, everybody. A lot more. Well, it cools it down. Yeah, no, it's a hot mic. Yeah.

Hot mic. Got a hot mic. Yeah. Hot mic. Got a hot mic. And the microphones are acting up. Hey! Zinger. Zinger flinger over here. Mike Moran's. Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Do you really want to hurt me? Yes. Got boy Jojo over there doing God knows what. Careless whispers. All right. So, Kenny. Yes.

You going to eat on the podcast the whole time? So far you've blown into the microphone and now you're eating a goddamn Oreo. I was just following Instagram. And you stole an ashtray. I told you yeah just so you know the uh the remote is chained to the tv so you can't take that okay you can't take that away from josh this has been this week's installment of you can't take that away from josh oh my lord all right let's let's get into it kenny frankly no no no drink drink you just had an oreo i'd be an asshole if i didn't let you wash it down you need to brush your teeth as

well before we start yeah that would ruin it though whenever you brush your teeth everything just tastes horrible afterward what's the worst thing to drink after brushing your teeth? I'm gonna say oh really I was gonna go orange juice Different strokes, I guess different strokes for him the blood of Christ for me. Okay again weird The blood of Christ they just I just brush. Dr. says I can't. Can't have it. Sorry, Fada. Sorry. All right, Kenny. How are you?

I'm super good. How are you? I'm well. Thanks for coming over. I wouldn't bother asking me anybody. Munsa the dog. How are you? Munsa? Yeah, that's her name.

How do you spell that? M-U-N to the s a s a what does that mean means asshole in Mexican in Mexico no I mean like from people from Spain Mexico's Bay Mexico what refer to Mexicans as Spanish Mexico, Spain. Hey. The capital of Spain, Mexico. What? Refer to Mexicans as Spanish people. Oh, yeah. Quit speaking Mexican, goddammit. I think it's more the other way around.

Like, oh, he's a Spanish person. Yeah, I don't know what to say. When he's a Latino. Yeah, I was doing a joke. I still do. I do a joke about Cesar Millan. I was saying he's a Latino fella, but I don't know if that's right. Well, you certainly don't want to say Spanish because he's not from Spain.

He's Mexican, though, I found out, so I just say Mexican. Right. Yeah. But, I mean. Well, Latino is the PC. That's the preferred nomenclature? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Hey, whatever those nice people want to be called, I don't care, right? Sorry, I've got to write that down. I've got to add that up. We'll get to it. It's going to go even worse. No, I wasn't. Hey, Kenny, how are you?

You already asked me. I know, I know. I'm sorry. We've already forgotten what you said. I'm terrible. Thanks for mentioning it. There you go. You need to say terrible. That would stick with me more. You need to have good pod. We need some drama.

Yeah. I bring the controversy. Before we get to your drama, I'll just tell you. Why did you leave Stone Temple Pilots? Are you doing heroin again, Kenny? Kenny Scott Weiland? Munson was originally named Munson, and we were told it was a boy, so we named it Munson. And then come to find out, it's a lady.

And that was an embarrassing trip to the vet's office. Because this big vet tech lady was like, what did I just have sex with? Thought it was a boy dog. You made me embarrassed. I was so embarrassed that I said, oh, no, the dog I had sex with was female. I mean, because what if it got pregnant? Could you imagine a dog, Josh hybrid?

Yeah. He told me his penis was a nanny. Thank you. That's weird. You'd never mix up a person's genitalia like that. You'd be surprised, Mike. Yeah. You'd never mix up a person's genitalia like that. You'd be surprised, Mike. Yeah. Really?

You'd be surprised. The other day I was fingering this dude's dick. Dick finger. That's my grandfather's name. Dick fingering? His last name's fingering? Finger. Really?

Dick finger. Wow. On your mom's side? Which is why you don't have the name. Yeah. So my mom's main name is why you don't have the name yeah so my mom's main name is finger which is the security question i shouldn't really oh boy information and nobody knows that it's a security question hey nobody be a dick out there okay and steal her identity that's always hilarious in movies when they're like breaking into somebody's you

know secret whatever and they're like going through things in their lives to try to find the password. Yeah. No one's ever going to find mine. Why? Because who uses their first name as their security for everything? Good point. Good point. Good point, Michael.

All of my passwords are Mike Moran. Right. Oh. The password is Mike Moran. Okay. Okay. Black shirts The password is Mike Moran. Okay, okay. Black shirts, knee brace. Extremely good looking. Handsome.

Gigantic wiener. Big wiener. He has to tape it when he wears shorts in the summer. He has to tape it to his leg. Mike Moran. There he is. Only has sex with male dogs. Yeah, well, you know, what are you going to do?

All right, Kenny, can we get serious here? How are you? I'm glad you finally thought that. I know, I know. That's important. Because it's been on our minds. I'm just picturing the people driving to their shitty jobs and their shitty cars being like, how is she? Right.

Get to it. I know it's the digression sessions. Why are you avoiding the question, first of all? Yeah. Just answer it. I'm actually, I digression sessions. Why are you avoiding the question first of all? Just answer it. I'm actually calm, relaxed, and happy. Why is that? Are you high?

It's the heroin. I'm really high. What are you on? A little PCP. Downers. Yeah. Some little reds. A couple blues. So you're happy? You're feeling good? Yeah.

You're feeling fine? Yeah. Why? Why are you happy? Oh, well. Why am I not happy and you are? Because I think it's a decision that you can make. Oh, really? Mm-hmm.

All right. Well. And I decided earlier today that I'm going to be calm, relaxed, and happy. Right. As often as possible. Is that, do you have to make that decision because you're not normally? I think, well, I don't think that's anyone's natural state. Interesting.

Right. Maybe. Some people are just happy. Yeah? Yeah. I think, yeah, there are some people that probably are just naturally happy. Yeah, I think about that. My mom is, like, constantly happy.

Yeah, some people are just like that. Yeah. You think she's faking it, though? No, I think she just chooses to not think too deeply about things that would bother her. Okay. And I think that just makes things easy for her. That's true. She's like, get out of here, brain.

Yeah. Only happy thoughts right here. You've been evicted, bad thoughts. Go to Mike Moran's brain and move in. That's the problem. Everybody's negative thoughts just come to me somehow. Yeah. Well, that's why you're in Scientology, so you can go clear and get rid of that stuff.

Yeah. Yeah, it helps. You are? I actually just joined the Church of Scientology. Yeah, it seems like a good, you know. I was looking for a religion. I feel like that's probably like the best one for me. It's a good fit for you.

Absolutely. We're just kidding. Okay. I'm not really a Scientologist. I'll be of a Christian side. I'm nothing crazy. Have I talked to you about throwing away your hydrogen peroxide? Yeah, exactly.

So we did a show last night kenny that was fun that was you did such a good job oh stop you did such a good job it was fine it was a good show it it was really fun uh you ate chips to start out your set it was funny because brandon liscure it's like i don't he's, I don't know about this alternative room. And I'm like, it's not really an alternative room. And then Kenny eats chips. That's the only thing that is eating chips. But it's not like you planned on it. It was an organic thing that happened.

Yeah, well, I saw him walk in with a bag of chips. They were organic chips. Yeah, it was organic. They were, actually. They were like. Yeah, there were some nice chips. Yeah, they're like 40% reduced fat. Really?

Yeah, Cape Cod, really crunchy. Yeah, big old bag of it. Huge bag. like yeah there were some nice chips yeah they're like 40 reduced fat and really yeah cape cod really crunchy yeah big old bag of it huge bag okay you can't walk in to a room with a huge bag of chips and then just expect to not have to share them but why is it that the bag of chips is usually the reason why it's probably 40 percent uh what did you say fat free or something reduced it's because it's 40 air you know what i'm saying the bag of chips is always like mostly air like they fill up a bag with air and they put like five chips in there yeah that's why the bag was so big it was 40 bigger oh my god yeah wow sneaky snakes over there think about that john stossel john You're John Stossel. Thank you.

Now can you call me John Stossel? Now say it in a deep voice. John Stossel. Alright Mike, you can stop masturbating. Call me John Stossel. Call me John Stossel, baby. I'm going to get to the bottom of your bottom.

Call me John Stass. Give me a whack. Give me a whack. Give me a whack. That was really fun. And it's bittersweet because you said it's your last show. Supposedly could be your last show at the Yellow Sign Theater for a while. Yeah.

Because you're dying. I'm dying. Yep. To move to California. Yep. Which you're doing, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Whoa. That is super rude. You have hit the trifecta here. You've blown into the mic. You ate food. And now P. Diddy's calling you. Sorry about that.

No, it's cool. You're already on this California thing. When did you start calling California P. Diddy? You know? He is California money. Exactly. He's not just Hollywood. You know the capital of P. Diddy? Sacramento? Sacktown? Why is California so huge?

What the hell? There's like 40 states on the East Coast and there's California yeah it's like crap it's greedy really why are you moving to such a great or say the coast all right how are you? How are you? No, I am going to Sacramento, though. Really? Why Sacramento? Because it has the word sack in the title? Yeah. And you love Mentos?

I also love Mentos. And the God Ra? You pray to the God Ra. Yeah, and I'm a big Kings fan. Nope. Not true. That's your favorite book of the Bible? Mine's Corinthians, Josh.

Oh, Joshua. Is your favorite book of the Bible? Yeah. Mine's Corinthians, Josh. Oh, Joshua. Is there a book of Josh? Book of Josh. Book of Josh. Book of J. Yeah, I think so. B-O-J. I'm pretty sure there is.

B-O-G-Z. There's also a book of Michael, but you know what there isn't a book of? What? Kendra. There is a book of Kenny. Kendra, dig it. Is there a book of Kenny? Yeah. What? Yeah. Should it be Kenneth? No, no, no. It's just Kenny of Kenny. Kendra, dig it. Is there a book of Kenny? Yeah.

What? Yeah. Should it be Kenneth? No, no, no. It's just Kenny. I think it's at the end. She's lying. It's like after the credits.

Yeah. Yeah. Samuel L. Jackson shows up and asks you to join the Avengers. Right. In the Bible. Yeah. Yeah. That would be amazing.

Well, you're also wearing a t-shirt that says, I love NYC. We're in Maryland. I'm getting conflicting. You're moving to California. You are. What's going on with you? I right i tell you what's going on i moved here four years ago uh-huh from from wisconsin he threw on that accent when he brought dropped that state yeah tell me how much you love cheese i love it i love cheese now call me john stossel john stossel tell me I have cheese in my mustache.

Okay, so from Wisconsin, and I guess you went to MICA? No, no. Really? What are you talking about? No, I'm a badger. I went to UW. Oh, sorry. Wu-Tang University.

Yeah. Wait, wait. She studied there. Yeah. 36 chambers. Yeah. You're under iron flag. She went to the culinary school by the chef.

Yeah. Damn. That would have been great. Anyway. Yeah. I went to UGOD University. That's another rapper. Oh, sorry.

Nice. Oh, yeah. So what brought you to Baltimore from Wisconsin? Well, I wanted to move to New York eventually. So you're like, let me just move three hours away. Yeah. See how it goes there. Right.

Right. Right. The poor man's New York. Yeah. Well, and I had never been to Baltimore before I moved here. Smart. Yeah. Very.

Yeah. Very well thought out. No friends or family or anything like that. And what's changed? Well, well. I have zero family still. Still no family. No kids. Working on it, though.

Working on it. Are you pregnant now? I'm trying. Do you want to be? I don't have any kids that i know of really i don't even know i was so irresponsible there's a few years where i was completely blacked out yeah it could have been i don't know who knows i have taken some wild dumps before who knows what crawled out of that toilet afterwards like that dump took nine months

that's postpartum literally such a big one it's a big old big dumper okay so you moved to baltimore yeah just and how do you decide that well it just kind of came up i was looking at dc and maybe philly but then um an opportunity came to come to Baltimore, so I took it. Sometimes the universe just gives you a green light on things. Right. I feel like the universe is playing a joke on you, though. It's like, you know, go to Baltimore. Do you ever feel like the universe is completely cold and indifferent towards your own personal needs?

Yes. That's what's most scary, is that it's not evil. It's just indifferent. Right. Anyway, how... That's one way to look at it. Sure. Look, I'm not taking the Mama

Frankly approach. I think... Her name is Finger. That's right. Is she still married? Mama Finger. To my dad? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Never mind. Yeah. They're going strong. Yeah. They're going steady. Yeah.

Nice. They've been married for like 60 years. Yeah, they're going strong. Yeah, they're going steady. Yeah. Nice. They've been married for like 60 years. Wow. No, no, no, 40 years. Do you think they're still doing this? I think so. Yeah. My dad's had a couple hip replacements, so I'm pretty sure.

Fucking too hard? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I worry about that. I shattered my hip. Fuck.

You should just preemptively get your hips replaced. Yeah. At a young age. Right. Get some metal in there. How do you replace the hip? That seems ridiculous to me. You get a ball in there.

A metal ball. Well, I don't know if it's metal, but it's a ball. So the hip is just like the west and the east of the butt bone, right? I think so. yeah it's there's like a slot for it's like like a ball joint in a car like by the tire so you can rotate like uh both my grandmas had to get them actually so yeah they put it in there and then eventually you probably know because your dad's got them but the tendons and everything eventually latch onto it through like physical therapy and all that stuff yeah right yeah yeah yeah yeah

so that was i now we can file this under health and education right right diversify that's what you gotta do that's what you gotta do all right so universe said kenny moved to baltimore and you said all right i was like okay uh-huh do. And your parents were like, oh, good. You're speaking to voices again. You're moving to the universe. Get out of here. I got to fuck your mom and ruin my ass. Get on that bus.

I remember when I told my mom, she had been asking about me renewing my lease in Madison. And I said, well, no, I'm actually, I'm thinking about, you know, getting a different apartment somewhere else. And she said, where? And I said, Maryland. And she said, Maryland, Wisconsin. Is there a Maryland, Wisconsin? No. There's that weird stuff where there's like Hollywood, Maryland and stuff.

Yeah, it's so weird. That always happens. There's always like a million weird town names. There's a Baltimore, Ohio. Is it? Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

Is that what she said next? No. Maryland, Ohio? Maryland, Ohio? Well, and I think she just couldn't fathom the fact that I was actually going to go out of the state. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyways, then I came here.

Uh-huh. And. What was the plan? The plan was like, I'm going to spend three years in Baltimore and then go up to New York City. Because I knew I wasn't ready to go to New York City at that point. Are you moving to Baltimore to do comedy? Yeah. Okay.

I wanted to just pursue more creative endeavors. I had done a lot of comedy in Wisconsin. How's the scene out there? It's good. I think the improv scene is better in milwaukee and there's a neat environment there but you really have to dig um i think more so people will end up going down to chicago to do comedy and improv there's second city there and all this other stuff so but um chicago just didn't seem like far enough right so so i came out to baltimore and i thought you know i'll get acclimated and after a few years i'll go up to new york city

and you know i was thinking about things again in january because it had been six or three and a half years and i at this point you know you take the bolt bus up to new york and you get to spend time there for like 30 bucks you know you can stop being a corporate whore for bolt bus right now or mvp or whichever one you like thank you yes i'd rather take amtrak for like four thousand dollars one way or the bolt bus for a nickel yeah yeah so i had gotten the chance to go up to there a few times i did comedy there uh-huh uh-huh and it just didn't feel like somewhere i wanted to live okay why is that um i think the energy is different of course and um it didn't really match me. A lot of Italians up there, too. Yeah.

Paisans. I'm actually, I feel more like a Baltimore girl than a Wisconsin girl. I definitely don't feel like a New York person. Right. And I have a lot of friends out in California. Right, right, right. So that's good. So you got a little support system there, a little social network.

Yeah. Okay, that's good. So you got a little support system there, a little social network. Yeah. Okay, that's good. So where is Sacramento? It's about an hour east-northeast. That's my new character I'm working on. He's really bad at geography. Is that next door? Yeah, it's just like up falls.

Oh, okay, cool. Yeah. That by Dundalk. Yeah. It's an like up falls. Oh, okay, cool. Yeah. That by Dundalk. Yeah. It's an hour in from the bay. What's the bay? Chesapeake Bay. The Chesapeake Bay.

From San Francisco. And so how far is all of this from L.A.? Six hours. Oh, my Lord. Yeah, it's a big state. Wow. It's really fucking big. Yeah.

Okay. Okay, so why Sacramento? You got peeps there? Yeah, it's a big state. Wow. It's really fucking big. Yeah. Okay. Okay, so why Sacramento? You got peeps there? Yeah, my best friend lives out in Davis, and so we've always wanted to live together. We grew up together. We were in Brownies together. We went to the same college. Slow down.

Go on. What else did you guys do? Yeah. She's my best friend. Perfect. She's amazing. Nice and beautiful. OK. OK. Does she do comedy? No, but she's a writer and she's one of the associate editors for the Sacramento Press. So she's very well connected and knows a lot about what's going on out there. Good deal. Good deal. So when you came to Baltimore, did you start out doing stand-up solo yeah okay because you perform with Danielle Robinette yes there's a tie in there because I went to middle school and high school with her you did yes oh you're lucky well we weren't friends you grew up in Kent Island yep really yeah yeah born and raised why are you just shocked that I have all my teeth? He was there today. Yeah, I was there today. It's beautiful out there.

It's pretty nice, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's playing music there. Yeah. Danielle was actually one of the first friends I made in Baltimore. Yeah. Within the first week of living here, I scouted out Bar Bacon, which used to happen over at Golden West.

Yeah. That's where I saw you guys. Yeah. I think that was when I first got interested in doing stand-up. I think that was the first local stand-up show I ever went to. Maybe the first stand-up show I ever went to, actually. Really? Yeah, I don't think I ever went to a stand-up comedy show before that.

When did you start doing stand-up? Three years ago. Yeah, and I probably saw you when you just started out, Mike, because you were really nervous about doing Barbican. Yeah. That was a few months in. Yeah. And then so we went to that show.

And then I see this broad over here. She's up there with this other broad I went to school with doing the comedies. And I'm like, I should be doing the comedies, too. Oh. So it was inspiring. Oh, I inspired you. Yes. I was pretty jealous.

I was like, I went to school with her. Why is she performing? God damn it. And then I pretended I didn Yes, I was pretty jealous. I was like, I went to school with her. Why is she performing? God damn it. And then I pretended I didn't see her. Went home and stewed. Got in a crock pot and I stewed. Yeah. Well, that was actually her first stand-up show, too.

Really? Yeah. You guys are good. Yeah. Well, she's a natural. Oh, yeah. She's an actress. Yeah.

Comfortable on the stage. Yeah. That's what actors call the stage. I'm pretty sure. Well, so I went to Barbican to hassle Jim Meyer so that I could get in on the November show. And it was an October show and it was Halloween themed and everyone was wearing like superhero outfits. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's the first show I went to.

Oh, my God. And Danielle was there and she was dressed in this wild outfit that had fake blood all over it and a bird in her hair. And she was like, costume. Why didn't someone tell me? I wouldn't dress up. Jesus, you guys. Send me an email. Yeah.

So I was like really drawn to her. So I went up to the bar and we did a couple of shots of Jim Beam together. And it was a very quick friendship. Oh, okay. So it ended very quickly. It ended. It's off and on. Are you guys still tight?

Yeah. You're friends now? Absolutely. Yeah. And so you're doing the stand-up solo. Yeah. And then we did some duo stand-up that we call it Velvet Jugular. Oh, okay.

I remember you played accordion pretty sure oh yeah keep it down sorry listeners yeah no I have an accordion and I'm not professionally trained on it but you're like I should play it yeah yeah and so I I kind of taught myself a little umpapa kind of. Okay. Kind of like your standard. Yeah. And then Danielle wrote a terrible song about me and sang over it.

But I had had a few beers prior to bringing the accordion on stage. And I didn't realize that it's really hard to play the accordion when you're drunk. Especially when you don't know how to play it. Also that. That minor part there. I was wasted. That's the problem. Otherwise I would be a fucking virtuoso.

Yeah. I remember seeing you guys and it did get a little uncomfortable. You're like, hey, let's talk about how each of us is a big slut and make fun of the other one. He's like, oof. Oof.

Did it get to an uncomfortable level? Or was it? No. No. Well, no. I cry after every time I perform. Are you serious? Oh, God.

It hurts my feelings so bad. But I love it. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Oh, man. Well, I don't really cry. But it definitely takes a... I have to have my recovery period. So, man. Well, I don't really cry, but it definitely takes a...

I have to have my recovery period. So, yeah. So, it's almost like you guys are doing a roast of just each other each time. Yeah. That's healthy. But, I mean, you're not... Are you, like, really making... Why did you stop doing that?

Yeah. Are you making fun of, like, real-life things, or are you just, like... Yeah, that's the thing, is, like, being that we know each other very well... Right. I've told her all my deep, dark, gross, disgusting secrets. Never mind. Let's go through ten of them. No way.

We'll do a rap beat out of it. Ready? Kenny's life is depressing. I cannot. We'll edit in some stuff in post. One dark secret. Everybody tells one Okay Kenny

I kissed my brother once Okay that's all Not with tongue That's all the time we have for this segment On the cheek Butchie On the butt cheek Alright

See I tried to make up something that's unbelievable, and you both obviously believe what I say. You're unbelievable. I think you probably kissed your brother on the cheek. Oh, why is that? I kiss my brother on the cheek all the time. I kiss my brother on the cheek, too. He's a beautiful man. He's got such kissable cheeks.

Kissable cheeks. Yeah. Okay, so you're hanging out in Baltimore. Now cheeks. Gizzable cheeks. Yeah. Okay. So you're hanging out in Baltimore. Now you're going to New York. You're making the... Why am I saying New York? Your shirt.

It's the shirt. You're making the big leap. You're moving. You're going to sacrifice something that you meant to do. Nice. Sacramento. That was really good. Thank you.

Connecting the dots over here yeah oh yeah okay so what else were you what else you gonna do out there besides comedy I feel like Sacramento is gonna be hard well I guess you're gonna go to San Francisco and try to do stuff there well Sacramento has a comedy scene sure sure I'm so I'm doing the Sacramento Comedy Festival in September. And they're they have like a very vibrant, artistic, creative scene. It's not at the level that Baltimore is. OK, because I think that Baltimore is like flourishing as far as what you can do. Sure. Yeah. A creative person. Yeah, no doubt. Sacramento is getting there um and i think in a lot of ways sacramento and baltimore are similar oh mike's falling on you i got it you got it yes okay

mike is literally falling for her literally oh okay cool good luck out there well thanks yeah okay so how big of a how big of a town is Sacramento? I think like 200,000. What does that mean? That's similar to Baltimore. How many Walmarts? I don't know. I haven't Googled that yet. Okay.

And I'm actually going to be out in Davis. What does that mean? Davis is just outside of Sacramento. Okay. UC Davis is there. It's like a liberal, crunchy college town, farm to fork, organic. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's like a liberal crunchy college town. Farm to fork. Organic. Yeah. That's good food.

Yeah. Just got to watch out for your ankles to get bruised on those hacky sacks. Sacking industries. Injuries. Industries. Sack industries. The sack capital of the world.

Call me Mr. Sack. 70% of the world's hacky sacks come from right here. Sacked out. We're the Detroit of hacky. And Josh is the comedian of hacky. Hey, take my wife, for instance. Oh, man. Yeah, Danielle and I, we went to school,

but we weren't buddies because she was a theater kid. Yeah, she mainly only hangs out with gay guys, too. I mean, you're not. I mean, I'm happy. Okay. With both sexes. When dicks are in my butt.

Take what you will from that. See what you will from that between the lines tell you um no and i it was funny i i've been running into her off and on throughout baltimore for probably like over the last year just popping up at different places and we were at an audition for this uh radio or this new podcast that brian preston jim meyer and tommy simbazo yeah friday night yeah yeah and she was there it was funny uh we were like reminiscing about going to school and all this stuff and i was talking about she was like oh i was such a theater kid or something like that and i was i was joking with her kind of buster bulls a little bit about how in 10th grade in uh english class we were reading the crucible and it's one of those things where like every kid reads like a page or something like that most people be like

giles cory then moved on you know and then when it got to danielle she was like, I do say. Here we are. Yeah, there's always that kid. But I... Here we are. Oh, did you see that? When he spoke like they were in London when it took place in... Right.

Everybody has like a Dickensian accent. Cape Cod, where we are? That's right. Yeah, so, and it was just the first class of the morning, or first class of the day, and I was just like, oh, my God, this girl. But I never, like, hated her or anything,

but I told her that on Friday, and she was like, oh, yeah, she's like, actually, we were doing the play at the time, and for some reason, the teacher wouldn't let her use the book or something, so she's like, oh, fuck it doing the play at the time, and for some reason the teacher wouldn't let her use the book or something. So she's like, fuck it, I might as well practice or something like that. So it was nice to bring up to her. And she was like, yeah, yeah. I was like, yeah, but now we're friends.

That's awesome. We made fun of her a little bit, but not really. It was like a playful thing. She likes that. It was a playful thing. Yeah, she likes that. That's what she tells you when you guys rip each other apart on stage. Yeah.

That's not very nice. No, but it's character building. Have you ever thought about maybe doing the opposite and saying really nice things to each other? That could be interesting for no one. I do that anyway. Yeah, Bobcat Goldthwait has this joke about everybody's like obsessed with drama and all this stuff. He's like, you never hear a guy like run into a bar and be like, hey, two guys are really getting along in the parking lot out there. Yeah, it's true.

You never watch the news and hear like the good things about the world. Yeah. It's like some guy did a random act of kindness. It was beautiful. Diane? With the weather. I'm really interested in that radio show that's going to be evolving from that it's going to be a lot of fun john bennett yeah john bennett pat

stork um this guy rex is involved yeah who's in bros are you at the bros too yeah i was in murder castle i'm i didn't know that the Grundlehammer rewrite script for the tour. Nice. I wanted to go to Murder Castle, but it sold out so quickly, which is fucking awesome, though. Yeah. I heard it was amazing. Yeah, I saw the pictures. Everybody liked the costuming and the stage and lighting. It looked fucking cool. I got to wear a ball gown.

And granted, it was made. Ball gag. Also a ball gag. Kenny, your character has something in her mouth the whole time. The rest of us are going to be singing our lungs out. So you dance like you've never danced before. But yeah, I had some speaking lines. I got to sing with the big...

Those are the best kind of lines. Yeah. Well, I had like four lines. Besides coke lines. Oh. Woo! I also got to do like shadow puppets.-huh so that was really fun that's cool so and then for those that don't know bros is the baltimore rock opera society how'd you get involved with those cats danielle danielle who i forgot her last name me too well

i used to hang out with them because when i met Danielle, she'd be like, well, we just got done with our first run of Grundlehammer. You got to meet these people. And then I got to see the second run of it and started hanging out more. Yeah. And my first big project with bros was Artscape 2010. Uh huh. I helped work on the art car.

Okay. Because we have an art car and it's ridiculous there's like a platform stage on top and a big skull that spits blood out of its eyes that is fun well yes it squirts blood from its eyes

thank you for pointing that out thank you for getting it right and then what else? So then I did the double feature, which was in 2011. And then I worked on Front of House for Valhalla last year. And then I was asked to be in Phantom of the Paradise for Halloween this past fall. Okay.

And then I did Murder Castle. That's exciting. Yeah. They put on some good shows. Mm-hmm. And that Chuck Green, Castle. That's exciting. Yeah. They put on some good shows. Mm-hmm. And that Chuck Green, he makes some crazy stuff. We had him on Chuckle Storm a couple months ago, and he brought in this really cool helmet that he made that had a microphone inside of it, but he sounded like a robot as well. That was from Lunastus.

That was the robots. Oh, okay. Yeah. Lily Susskind was the robot in Lunastus, and she wore that. Oh. Yeah. That was really Lunastus. That was the robots. Oh, okay. Lily Suskind was the robot in Lunastus, and she wore that. Oh. Yeah. That was really cool. Yeah.

And then he was like, yeah, I was going to bring this sword that shoots fire, but I didn't know about the codes here, so I didn't bring it. So you have a fucking sword that shoots fire? It's a trident. Oh, that's right. You can never be too careful. It has a gas valve on the bottom, and he brought it around Artscape this time. He has a whole character he does for Artscape.

He's like, how much is that shirt? They're like, 15. And he opens up his Trident and blows some fire. How much? Yeah. And then he rides away in his car that shoots blood from the eyes. He's tough. He's amazing.

He's prolific as a writer. Yeah. He has to be super talented. I mean, these shows are selling out. Right. And, well, he writes for a lot of other things, too. The Annex Theater put on the 10-minute play festival during Artscape, and I was in Chuck's play for that. It was really ridiculous and amazing.

Yeah, I saw pictures of you and Matt Casella. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there was some pretty weird plays that I saw there for the 10-minute festival thing. There was one where it was like 19 people on stage, and they all said their lines at the same time. But there was all of the same line. It was just weird, nonsensical stuff.

It was like, Mom doesn't like chowder. Here we are at the bar. And then it went on for a long time, and they were acting like cats. And then when it was done, they were like, support the arts, everybody. And I was like, you're the reason people don't support the arts. So let's go back to why mom doesn't like child.

Yeah. You lost me there. That was a Tennessee Williams play. Mom doesn't like child. Yeah. Never has, never will. The end. Yeah.

Man, so you've got your fingers in a lot of pies. You also do a lot of stuff. I also love pie. Do you? Yeah. What's your favorite? Pumpkin pie. Get the fuck out of my house.

Pie is one of the only instances where it's acceptable for fruit to get its dirty little hands on dessert. Really? Yeah. I don't know. It just ruins things. No way. Banana split? Go back to the health food aisle, jerk.

We're trying to party here. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what's a proper dessert to you then? Ice cream. Mm-hmm. Brownies. Mm-hmm.

Ice cream and brownies. Sure. Sure. Cake. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Cookies. Cookies. All fruit-free.

What about a banana split? That's ice cream and a banana. I don't know if I've ever had one. What about strawberry ice cream? No. Don't like it? Hit the bricks, Robin. I like it.

I like it. What have you been up to, Mike? Working a lot. Doing a lot of open mics. I don't like it Alright Well What have you been up to Mike? Um Working a lot Yeah Doing a lot of open mics Yeah yeah You've been doing a lot

Yeah You said you went to DC You're doing high tops tonight No I'm not on high tops tonight Okay but you did Am I? Why did you say that? I thought you were

No I don't think I am I feel like every Sunday You've been doing it Yeah but I think I'm gonna head up there Okay just to hang out Yeah maybe I'll get some time Well there's Expert of Nothing tonight too Is there really? Yeah've been doing it. Yeah, but I think I'm going to head up there. Okay, just to hang out. Yeah, maybe I'll get some time. Well, there's Expert of Nothing tonight, too.

Is there really? Yeah, Rex is doing it. Oh, yeah? Yeah, Rex is funny. I feel good. I don't know. Oh, yeah, it's going down. That's going down.

So how's the open mics been going? Are you working on new stuff? Yeah, working on some new things. Had a few duds right in a row. Yeah, that's the hard part i'm trying to get over it's just like failing when you're writing that new stuff it's such a yeah well that's that's pretty okay yeah but the worst is when you do established material and it just dies and you don't know why yeah i think i really think that's just sometimes that crowd they're just not feeling your

stuff or it's just you know i mean and it could be in how you say it or how you deliver it sometimes that makes it weird i think you do kind of have to decipher a crowd that's like there to watch a performance and a crowd that uh wants more of an interaction you you know what I mean? Right. Or, and it, yeah, a lot of like local kind of open mics too. It's, it's tough when it's the open mic is ancillary to what the establishment is. Like people are trying to eat or hang out the bar and you're like, Hey, listen to me.

Right. Like, nah, I don't, I'm not going to do that. You know, it's all part of the, yeah.

I heard about a new show that just started last week at Leon's Leather Lounge. Oh, yeah, the Triple L. It's one of Dave Chauffeur's rooms. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't been there. I hear it's okay. I know I love to karaoke there.

Oh, yeah. But it's, what's it called? Leon's Leather Lounge. There were shows there years ago, too. Uh-huh. Like way back in the day. It used to be called Mads, I think. Yeah.

But it switched. I think it was Leon called Nads, I think. Yeah. But it switched. I think it was Leon's when we closed up shop. When you shut that place down. Partying all night. In the triple L. Right. Yeah. So where have you been performing in D.C.?

I just did one room a couple days ago. The Squeeze, I think it was called. Something weird like that. Yeah okay yeah i should i'll give you the email to uh sign up for rfd you should do that check out some of their stuff yeah this should be interesting for the listeners yeah well if they made it this far they like us they want us to talk about anything hey we're just having fun here you know what you're not getting the email. Fine. Fine. Fine. Yeah, and we have the big improv festival coming up. Baltimore Improv Festival.

Yeah. What night are you performing? Friday. Okay. I'll be volunteering Friday, so I'll be there. Okay, cool. When is it? It's this week. It starts Wednesday and runs through Sunday. There's workshops and shows and people from all over the country coming in that's awesome yeah it's gonna be a lot of fun it's at the creative alliance

okay so it'll be an art car yeah really yeah oh our spits lemonade so there i've always wanted to check out the the improv festival yeah yeah let's yeah go to uh i think it's baltimoreimprofestival.org so what nights are you I'll be there on Friday Friday and your Sunday I'll be performing Thursday Thursday I'll be there Friday and maybe Saturday hanging around yeah should be a lot of fun yeah it's always fun doing stand-up Tuesday in Arlington a a room I forget, but I'll plug at the beginning. So there.

Or maybe I'll just edit it in. That's so far to go. I'm always interested to hear when Baltimore people are going down to D.C. and they're there to do shows. I really like it because you get in front of a whole new audience who doesn't know your stuff at all. I don't know. For some reason, I feel like it's less pressure, maybe. Just because I feel like around here,

it's like a lot of the same people kind of come out to shows. So you've got to turn over material a lot, which is good and bad that you should kind of always be writing. But it's fun to get in front of different people. But an hour is not that bad. And it's cool to meet other comics in D.C. and stuff like that. Yeah. I'm into it. I'm into it. Yeah, I like that cool to meet other comics in D.C. and stuff like that. Yeah. I'm into it.

I'm into it. Yeah, I like that. Last night there were D.C. comics. Yeah, they were really funny. Yeah. Monty Litwack and Jamel Johnson. Yeah. Funny, funny.

You just made up those names. No, those aren't. And then there's Teddy Laptop. Jason Doernob. Jason Doernob. Funny, funny, funny, funny. Just looking around. Turn my key. Jason Dornav Jason Dornav Funny fuck Funny Funny fuck Just looking around

Turn my key Yeah That's a catchphrase Yeah Umar and I were joking around last night About what if your catchphrase was Eh My wife says

Do you want to go to the company picnic With my company Eh That's what I said to her My wife says, do you want to go to the company picnic with my company? That's what I said to her. They're like pointing the mic at the crowd and they're doing it too. So what did I say, y'all? And they're like, ah! That wouldn't be too far off from a real catchphrase for me.

Yeah. Like you're selling T-shirts with one E and like 97 H's. And the pitch that Umar was hitting when he was doing it is just like perfect. Like almost annoying, but you totally got it. We got to come up with our own catchphrases. I know. To catch on. Hey, that cucumber's a pickle now, y'all. Something like that.

We'll work on it. We'll fix it in post, I think. Kenny, are you on Twitter or anything? Do you want to plug anything here at the end as we wrap this bitch up? I am on Twitter. Okay. Finding that. No, go ahead.

I'm just, Kenny, I'm just. I hardly tweet, but I'm trying to get more. I've had my Twitter account since like 2007. Whoa. So did you get a good name? Is your name just like well it's kenny now it's it's the name i put for everything which is we suck project oh yeah i used to run um a thing in wisconsin called the wisconsin stand-up comedy project

okay so uh yeah you can find me um at that uh-huh address on twitter uh-huh also i'm doing a show on august 8th at delia Foley's, the Color Me Funny. Nice. That's a really fun room. It is. I love that. Yeah, and the circulator goes right down there. Super easy to get to. And it's free. Yeah. And it's my last show in Baltimore. Really? Going out with a bang? You got anything

planned? T-shirt cannon? I'm thinking it's going to be ridiculous and I'm not telling any joke that I've ever told before So that should go well Totally new material Just go for the stuff that you know works. Yeah bag of chips. Yeah Yeah, I was like I'm gonna eat the whole time on stage

Those chips are 40% Give me a break. Oh, there's your catchphrase. Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar. The crowd has, like, huge foam, like, Kit Kats. They're, like, pretending to break. Yes! Yes!

Well, cool. I'm glad you got to do the show before you left. But are you going to be coming back to Baltimore? Probably. I mean, like visiting or anything? Yeah, I'm going to come for a visit around Christmas time. Cool. You should come see us.

I will. Yeah, we'll have you back on the show. You can tell us all about your adventures in Sacktown. I can't wait to be the new girl. Yo. Yeah, the new girl. You're going to be on the new girl. You haven't even been in California, and you're going to be a guest star. the new girl. Yo. Yeah, the new girl. You're going to be on the new girl. You haven't even been in California, and you're going to be a guest star.

The new girl in town. There's so much freedom in that. Still sounds adorkable. Adorkable. Yeah. What's her name? Is there going to be a whole new Kenny, frankly? Yeah, I'm going to totally like. Is it going to be like when you move to a new school and you're like, I'm going to be the cool guy from here on out?

Yeah, I have to think of a new stage name, I think. Uh-huh. Because Kenny, frankly, is a stage name. Is it really? Yeah, my name's not Kenny, frankly. Really? Who is it? Kendra Frank. Kendra and Frank. Oh, wow. Hmm. Yep. What about Anna Kendrick?

Isn't that a tennis player? She's an actress, I think. Is she? But yeah, you just brought a little different. What about Kend Kendrick? Isn't that a tennis player? She's an actress, I think. Is she? But, yeah, you just brought a little different. What about Kendra Finger? I should. Dick Finger. What about Kenya Finger?

Kenya? Good night, everybody. Go to stage. Kenya Finger. I'll consider that. that's a good thought okay yeah I'm happy to help just run with it you're a new person out there

can you go for it go for it absolutely what about Margaret Cho oh yeah yeah sounds good Margaret Chobani you get a tie in with yogurt. Oh, I could get a huge yogurt

deal. Big yogurt deal. Oh, wow. You could have a yogurt car that spits blood. Nice tie in there. Yeah. Okay. Well, thank you so much for doing the show. Thank you. Follow her on the Twitters and go out to Delia Foley's. You said August 8th?

Mm-hmm. Go out out there it's a free show yeah and it's my 11th comedy anniversary too really wow auspicious interesting almost like it was meant to be yep and my man over here michael moran's on the twitters at mich Moran. 10. Yes. And I'm at Better Robot Josh. The podcast is at Dig Sesh Pod. I'm also on Vine as Josh Goderna doing the six seconds of the Lord's work at a time over there. So check that out. And I'm also on Instagram at Better Robot Josh.

And then you're on Instagram too, right? Same as your Twitter handle. So, yeah, follow all of our social media stuff, guys. Just do it. Just do it. Hey, follow. I don't think that'll work. Just do it?

What? That could be misinterpreted so easily. You do not know shit about marketing, dude. Jesus Christ. Does Reebok have one? No no not that I can think of yeah Reebok now there's a shoe all right thank you everybody for listening of a different kind. Shoe enough. That shoe's a shoe-in. Shoe.

Shoe. Shoe. All right. Thank you guys for listening. Shoe for the stars. It's a shoe for the stars. All right. Thank you guys so much for listening.

If you enjoyed, please tell a friend. Rate us on iTunes or on Stitcher, all that stuff. And we love you. Thanks, everybody. We love you. Oh, yeah. I love you.