The Digression Sessions - Ep. 92 - Ben O'Brien (a Showbeast, yo!)

Episode Date: October 6, 2013

Follow us on Twitter! @BenFOBrien @BetterRobotJosh @MichaelMoran10 @DigSeshpod And come see us live! - DigressionSessions.com/Calendar ****** This week the hilarious Ben O'Brien joins us! We have another excellent episode Of Digressions Sessions Podcast this week, with the return of the always lovable and usually anxious Ben O’Brian! Ben is a comedian/director/writer who resides among those Wham City folk we’ve heard so much about. In addition to being an up and coming stand-up comedian, Ben has directed music videos for some of Baltimore’s greatest musical talents including Dan Deacon, Height, Flock of Dimes, Dope Body , and Beach House! This week we discuss with Ben, his chronic anxiety issues, his comedy video series entitled Showbeast, and his long time running of a hoax website that convinced the world he was the world’s biggest Tony Danza fan! He even landed a radio interview with the big guy himself (featured at the end of the episode). Thanks Ben for stopping by, we had a great time as always and you’re one interesting SOB! Thanks everyone for subscribing on itunes and on Stitcher. Please keep those Facebook comments a –comin! Love you!

Welcome to the Digression Sessions Podcast. Hey everybody, I'm Josh Koderna. And I'm Mike Moran. And you're listening to the Digression Sessions Podcast, a Baltimore-based comedy talk show hosted by two young, handsome stand-up comedians slash improvisers join us every week as we journey through the world of comedy and the bizarreness of existence as we interview local and non-local comedians writers musicians and anyone else we find creative and interesting yes

who's the guest this week ben o'brien is the guest on this week's program and he's a super nice guy and he's also super talented. He's a very funny stand-up but he's also a talented video artist, if you will. He directs, edits, stars, and created the fantastic Show uh, involves a lot of, uh, the wham city crew that Ben is a part of. It's, uh, it's a web series that involves puppets, uh, also live action stuff as well as crazy green screen stuff.

Like they did a video for Dan Deacon within the show beast world that, uh, I think it's like 10 minutes long. I think there's like a show beast intro of like six minutes before it gets to the actual video of Dan Deacon. And it's some pretty crazy stuff, but it's also very funny. And they've not only done videos for Dan Deacon, but they've also had some great acts on there like Height, who's a super cool rapper, Baltimore-based rapper. They've had Flock of Dimes, which is Jen Wozner of Y.O.A.K.'s side project.

They've done stuff for her uh and uh they've had beach house do videos dope body um yeah check it out it's really cool go to showbeast.net and uh they're all there and ben's also working on uh a full-length episode of show beast which i think is like a half hour long they're shooting for and he said they've done literally like hundreds of takes and hundreds of like just tons and tons of shooting. So he doesn't know when that's going to be out, but please check it out when it does come out. And you can find Ben on Twitter at Ben F. O'Brien, and he'll be performing the standups this Thursday, October 10th at Delia Foley's in Baltimore, Maryland. It's a free show.

It's a Color Me Funny show. And your boy, that's me right here, Joshua Coderna, one half of your favorite pair of earbuds. I'll be there too doing some stand-ups. And some of our old Dig Sesh buddies, Kathy Carson and Umar Khan will be there. And the wonderful Mike Fonazo will be headlining the show. Super funny lineup. Really excited about that. So please come out to that. That is October 10th at Delia Foley's in Federal Hill, Baltimore. And the Wednesday before that show, I'll be in Gambrills, Maryland doing stand-up at the Irish Channel.

That'll be a really fun show. Let's see. And then the Friday, October 11th, I will be at the Irish Channel. That'll be a really fun show. Let's see. And then the Friday, October 11th, I will be at the Two Doors Down Pub and Grill in Manchester, Maryland, hosting a show there with the headliner Adam Dodd. And the feature is Bill Monaghan. Should be a really funny show.

For all showtimes and tickets and all that stuff, the links are on digress sessions.com slash calendar for all those shows and then that's sunday october 12th you can go see mike moran and the other half of your favorite pair of earbuds he'll be at high tops in timonium maryland doing some stand-up and that's a free show. So go check out all those shows. Go to digressionsessions.com slash calendar. And, yeah, come out and see us live. That would be fucking awesome. And let's see. You can follow us on Twitter.

I'm at BetterRobotJosh. Mike Moran is at MichaelMoran10. The podcast is at DigSeshPod. And the lovely Ben O'Brien, he is at Ben F. O'Brien. That's O-B-R-I-E-N. And yeah, we're going to get into the show. We'll play a little music here. There is this fella, Kyle Reagan. He plays in this band called Screams and Whispers. He said he found the show when he was looking for a Baltimore podcast, and he said he really liked it.

He found the digression sessions, and he loved us, and he sent us some music, so I told him we'd play some. And it got me thinking, if anybody else plays in a band out there and they would like their music to be on the podcast, send it to us. Hit us up on Twitter or the Facebook page on the digression sessions. No, the digression sessions Facebook page. It's very professional, just like our podcast. Yeah, hit us up on Facebook, send us a message, and we'll try to get your music on the show. So without further ado, let's get into the Ben O'Brien episode.

This is really weird. To stare directly into your eyes and talk to you with this big thing. Yeah, yeah. It's part of the mystery. It's like being a woman in a country with little rights. It is. I do feel like I'm being subjugated by an entire culture. We just put the burqa on our guest, Ben O'Brien. You can see his beautiful eyes. Who was that G.I. We just put the burka on our guest, Ben O'Brien. Let's see his beautiful eyes.

Who was that G.I. Joe that wore a burka? Burka man? Yeah. I think it was him. Burt Burka. He's a super tough guy. Burt Burka here. Let's kick some cobra ass.

But no one look at my face. What? I don't think I've ever met anyone named Bert. Bert? Yeah. Hmm. Okay. No, Bert Reynolds.

Bert Wonderstone. Wonderstone. Bert and Ernie. Bert's not short for something. Bertrand. Roberto. Bertolomew. No.

Bertolomew. It's just straight up people have a kid and they're like, this is Bert. What's your kid's name? Bert. You didn't already know? Look at him. He's a Bert. Very few one-syllable boys' names that aren't a shortening of something else.

Am I right? Well, Mark. Cuss, you mean? Cuss? Oh, Mark Cuss. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, but I think you can just be named Mark. I think that's pretty acceptable.

Not in this house. So, yeah, don't, but I think you can just be named Mark. I think that's pretty acceptable. Not in this house. So, yeah, don't even try it. Bill's not short for anything. What are you talking about? Chuck. No. Ben, you've been grossly misinformed. Come on, guys.

Benjamin, come on. Come on. Look at you. You're a little prankster, aren't you, Ben? In what way? I've heard that you like to uh you like to troll the internet yes in that sense i would say i'm a prankster there you go i hear you like to go on the yahoos yes i do take advantage of these kind people willing to help i see that i'm i actually don't

really i don't like pranks i they make me very nervous and i don't like to fool i don't like to fool anybody you don't seem like a nervous guy. That's why you really, it really helps. Uh, but yeah, I, um, oops,

sorry. Um, I, uh, Jesus, I have had a kind of a little bit of a history of trolling on the internet. And lately I do the Yahoo answers, which are just like,

there's one that is like, someone's asking for a shampoo bottle big enough that when you hollow it out, you can fit something in it like a webcam. And obviously with the subtext of like I'm going to put this in and film my roommates in the shower. But the first answer is just like just go down to Sam's Club, buy big bulk bottles of shampoo. It should be big enough. Pert Plus is great. So there's no one that's really

feeling the brunt of this prank. You're saying you put the questions in there. Yeah, it's just like a question that people read it and they're like, this guy's a freaking idiot. Right. So you haven't gotten any good responses? Oh, I've gotten an amazing response.

One of them was, I've gotten some responses that were better than the question in it. And it humbled me. But I got, one of my questions was about my cat that was sick and it just kind of went on to be like my cat doesn't feel good and then right at the very end it was like it's you know it's not it doesn't recognize me and it's p tastes weird what's going on kind of situation and uh i heard the first response was incredible well i heard that you wrote that his p tastes lemony that's right you know you're right thank you for remembering that you wrote that his pee tastes lemony. That's right.

Thank you for remembering that. That the cat's pee tastes lemony. That was what was off about the whole situation. Not that it tastes like lemon, but lemony. There's a hint of lemon there. So what was the first response? I wish I could recite it from memory. But it was just, I don't know who did it, but someone else who was kind of trolling back at me.

Right. Kind of with this long explanation of what my cat had and what I should put it in a bathtub of just ice and leave it alone in the dark for like hours or something like that. And then I re-responded and was like, you know, I did what you said and the pee tastes normal. Everything's back to normal. Everything's great. Cool.

Well, you got help. Yeah. God bless Yahoo. And that brings us to this week's sponsor, Bing. Yeah. So what? I'm going to move forward a little bit because I feel awkward. Okay.

Any conversation? Yeah. Let's move. Let's move beyond the cat pee talk. Hot cat pee talk. I also, I'm sorry, I know you guys might have your own agenda here. Yeah, we do. I think you guys would be interested to know I had a website about 10 years ago now, which makes me feel old. That was a Tony Danza website.

Did you hear anything about that? No. I had a Tony Danza fan site that I made. Uh, I made a fake person that I, I made by combining my brother's face in my face into one terrible looking face. And his name was Larry. And he was,

was it a half and half or just like certain elements? Up or lower? I was, I was good at doing that. I had a gift, a natural Photoshopping gift. Right, sure. And this was back in the day before Wikipedia when it was all fan pages.

Right. And that's where you kind of got information. You know, they'd have fan page databases and stuff like that. And it was a much bigger thing. They'd have web rings. If you remember web rings, you'd be in this. Web rings. You'd be in the, like, Tony Danza web ring.

And so at the bottom of your page, there'd be a link that would be like, go to the next page Danza web ring and so at the bottom of your page there'd be a link that'd be like go to the next page in the web ring but that's all been kind of done away with but anyway so I made a fan page that was like this obsessive Tony Danza fan page and what my what Larry did was he

did these really bad kind of paint drawings of Tony, but he'd cut out Tony's head. And they all had these subtexts to them. And sometimes they were topical. Like there was one where Tony's head was between the two towers and it said, Tony will never forget.

And it was just a ton of them. And I put them on the website for like a lot of money. And also there'd be these little jokes, like his bio was just completely wrong like absolutely like just not him and then in the pictures part of all the pictures of tony danza that i had gathered one of them was of scott beya just kind of like mixed in but anyway so a radio station contacted me and they were like we think you're the number one fan of tony danza in the world we want to have you on our show so it's like one of these they're super nice but it's one

of these well they're super nice to me in the email and there's but it's one of these like wacky morning yeah they wanted to get you on air to make fun of you i think you're great uh please come on the show and then the first so this would we call in yeah and the first question they ask is uh are you a virgin kind of thing and then it's like and so the larry j huntley voice was kind of like i don't know kind of like that like that. Am I a virgin? I have no idea. Exactly. And so then Larry J. Huntley was on that. And my brother actually did the voice because I was too timid.

I was too terrified. But we were on that radio station a few times. And then the last time that we were on it, they were like, we're going to have Tony Danza on the show. We want you to interview him. No way. Wow. Who's the boss we interviewed him i i mean my brother interviewed him but we had this uh this idea that because

they were always they they were quizzing always quizzing us quizzing uh larry on tony danza facts and we would have like all these different pages open on the computer to answer them and then and then my brother would just always answer one of them completely wrong like absolutely like you must have no idea who to like where's he from and he's like denver and it's like the idea is that tony dance is from brooklyn like that's like a thing that everybody knows like of course yeah so they'd be like no way this guy's a fake and he'd be like i'm sorry and then uh but so then the idea with the tony dance interview was that we were gonna kind of ask him the normal questions and questions and then have one question that was really thoughtful. Also, it's really funny that Tony Danza was on an exercise bike while he was taking the interview.

He's just like, yeah, that's great. Oh, my God. Cool, all right. One of the first things was, Angela. He was like, how did you start getting into me? And then Larry goes, oh, Angels in the Outfield is my favorite movie. And then he goes, it's a really great movie. It got a lot of great messages in that movie.

I'm very proud of that. It was awesome to be out there during the World Series. And it just made no sense. That's exactly what he said. That sounds terrifying yeah and then and then when larry asked the one question that was like good like about this kind of deep question about his new album and like why he chose the certain songs his album yeah he does like uh jazz standards get the fuck out no way and uh and then it was kind of just after larry asked that question it was just very silent it was just there's like whoa. And then Tony's kind of like, great question.

Like he never gets those kinds of comments. He stops the exercise bike. Anyway, so that was like the most successful trolling I've ever experienced. Wow. Yeah, when you're making this fake website, you don't think you're ever going to speak to the man. No, no. It's really just about as good as possible as you can get. Like as successful.

Do you have a recording of that? I do, actually. I've been meaning to release it. Cool. We should put it on the Facebook page. I have it. I can email it to you guys. Yeah, please do.

I'll put it at the end of this episode. Great, great. Yeah. I feel like you should do a documentary. You should find him. Yeah. It'd be like a catfish, but opposite thing. You want to reveal it.

Yeah, yeah. Actually, and his heart would be broken at the end, you know it'd be like a catfish but opposite thing like you want to reveal that yeah yeah actually and his heart would be broken at the end you know yeah i don't have a big fan but it's it's funny because the uh just crying on the exercise when tony was there the um the wacky morning djs wanted to kind of keep making fun of me but in a sense they kind of had to make fun of tony too so but they so they were like at one point they were like what is it what's wrong with this guy tony kind of reacted in a way and they were like, what's wrong with this guy? Tony kind of reacted in a way and they were like, you're great, but they kind of had to...

Tony was sticking up for you. It's a fine line to walk to. It's like, why is this guy obsessed with this idiot? Right, Tony? The idiot that we're talking about? Exactly. Wacky Morning DJs are not the best at walking those fine lines. There's a lot of comedic elements to that interview.

So did they ever figure out that you were faking it or suspect it at all? I don't think so. I kind of got tired of it. It also blew up with this. There was this other aspect of it where this one person who supposedly owned a gallery was constantly asking me for my work. And so I would just print it out off the internet and it would have the URL at the bottom. I'd like photo paper and I would mail it to them. Then it would be like $500.

They were going to sell it for me and all this stuff. I knew that they were kind of messing with me. It turned out essentially they created a character to interact with my fake character. Really? The hunter has become the hunter. We had these completely just fake interactions with each other. Two people trying to troll each other.

And you guys both know it's bullshit, but you have to pretend. Totally. And actually, there's a Facebook page for Larry J. Huntley that is still kept to this day. Really? By that same person who created the heat. It was this whole kind of crew of people who were obsessed with that character. Really? And thought he was real.

What's his name? Larry. Larry J. Huntley. Larry J. Huntley. Larry J. Huntley. Okay. What's a J stand for? I have no idea. Can we get him on the line?

Hey. Hey, what about this dummy? Sound effect. Oh, yeah. Gotcha. Whoa. Yeah. Gotcha, Ben.

Now I see how weather's doing. You guys do plan this out. Yeah, sure. No, there's a script. I mean, that's why we sent it to you. Yeah, that's great. That's why we sent it to you, Ben. Everything we touch, see, and smell in this office has been controlled.

Yeah. Gotcha, Ben. Wow. All right. So the Tony Danza thing happened. Now the Yahoo stuff is just kind of keeping your toes in the water. Yeah, yeah. That's just to kind of keep me fresh.

Gotcha. Gotcha. You got to keep the troll legs loose. Yeah, exactly. That's just to kind of keep me fresh. Gotcha, gotcha. You've got to keep the troll legs loose. Yeah, exactly. I get it. It is a fun place to mess with people. It's just funny, and it doesn't really hurt anyone's feelings. No, it's similar. Yeah, when you're making yourself more of the butt of the joke.

Exactly, yeah. It's just about crazy people. Yeah, I don't like to prank stuff either. I just always end up feeling bad most of the time. Especially with the internet. There's a way to do pranks, though, where I don't like the prank stuff either. I just always end up feeling bad most of the time. Especially with the internet. There's a way to do pranks, though, where you don't have to hurt the person. Yeah. Joe DeRosa has a really funny bit about all these prank shows where it's like a super elaborate thing.

There was that show on SyFy. I forget what it was. I forget what it was called. Oh, the Scare Tactics? Yeah. To this day, I don't understand that, and I think it might be completely faked. Could be, too, but they would just go through super elaborate things, like somebody would drop

off their husband at the doctor, and they'd come back, and their husband's dead. They had taken his husband's kidney, and they're running out. How would they not be sued constantly for post-traumatic stress? Yeah, well, I guess they sign a waiver, because they get paid. Before the prank happens? No, no, no, afterwards.

Maybe if they don't sign the waiver they just it's just they just make it real yeah no it didn't happen no sorry cameras just happen to be here it's just that's god's will but jodorowsky's bit was like yeah i was freaking out when i saw a pterodactyl you wanna know why because i saw a fucking pterodactyl like yeah we shouldn't be laughing at these people when it seems so... I don't get that at all. I honestly think that that was probably faked. How would that not be constant lawsuits? Because then they're like,

hey, we'll pay you $500. Well, $500 when I get like a million in court. I think there's a lot of people that just take that cash, though. You know? That's still not good enough of an explanation for me for you yeah but not not these middle of america jerk offs not you well yeah obviously i'm far superior to yeah we're east coast elites right uh yeah there it is don't start you are east you sound like a midwest

fucking idiot oh geez you got are you doing an impression? You're very wry. I am good at impressions. You wry son of a bitch. You want to do one? Nope. Okay, Tracy Morgan. Hi. Oh! Welcome to the Tracy Morgan Show. Where did Ben go?

Where did he go? I got that from watching the Tracy Morgan Show for so many years. That was actually Ben O'Ryan doing that, guys. That wasn't Tracy Morgan. I wish we could get him on the show. He'll be here next week, though. All right. All right.

Now, I'm going to ask you about something else that you do. You got a Tumblr, right? I do have a Tumblr, yes. Now, what if that was just a question? Yeah, man. You have a Tumblr. You have a Tumblr. I'm so glad you noticed.

All right. Just changing the subject. So where'd you grow up? Yeah. Yes, I tumble. Yeah, you tumble for you. Now, this Tumblr, it's specifically cell phone pictures from movies and television. Yes.

Why? That's a good question. So, yeah, so my Tumblr, it's just screenshots of cell phone screens generally being held by somebody and text messages or, like'll say like you know denise is calling on the screen yeah um i watched a movie called uh i'm gonna move this thing really bad oh thank you thank you oh hot mic guys i'm not good with this kind of stuff um i uh i watched a movie called i am number four i really like bad like actual bad movies that are geared towards teens. Okay. I love watching like Twilight

or, you know, I've seen every season of Smallville. I just really like teen-based, We're going to say 15. I'm just a kid that's got special powers. Uh-huh.

You know, I'll watch all of those. So anyway, I was watching... Life's hard enough as a teenager, but now I have this insatiable bloodlust.

Exactly. What do I do now? I love that kind of stuff. Right. So I was watching this really bad movie called I Am Number Four, and smartphones are still such a new kind of phenomenon. Yeah, they came out in 2008, and that was just the first one. So then it kind of took a while to kind of take hold.

But then what that kind of created was that now there's these shots in movies where it's this close-up shot of the screen of a phone. And it's like a new thing. And it's also about product placement. So it used to be before it's like the phone you have on the wall, that company is not going to be like, yeah, put us in your – no one cares. But now that it's like the iPhone or the Android, it's like they're like, they make these deals where it's like, we have to show my phone. You know, that kind of stuff.

It's all this contractual stuff. We're tracking the killer on a new Windows tablet. It's so easy to use. Exactly. So there are these, in that specific movie, there's like eight shots of just this. It's kind of beautiful, this cell phone screen with these text messages. And I like them because

the messages were like i saw what you did and if i noticed that if i took a screenshot of it and just had it sit there and it just said i saw what you did it takes away like all of the dramatic effect yeah of whatever's going on it just makes it the most mundane possible thing so it's like stupid self we're going swimming at eight like i mean it's just like... And then I just kind of got really into that. Anytime I would see it, I would get excited. And I was like, I'm going to put them all into a Tumblr. And so then it's become this kind of fun thing that I do when I watch stuff. Sometimes I'll actually do it just to get them.

Because people actually really like the Tumblr. It got put on this Tumblr list and it got thousands of followers. Tony Danz is like, I fucking love these cell phone screenshots. It got put on this Tumblr list and it got thousands of followers. Tony Danz is like, I fucking love these cell phone screenshots. Yeah, I really love it. Angela. You've seen these screenshots? Exactly.

He still lives with her in real life. He lives on the set. He's in a new movie. He plays someone's dad. Oh, in that movie Don John with uh uh with uh joseph gordon levin yeah he looks crazy with uh with scarlett johansson with like a latina accent it's like weird when you see it right the crux of the movie is like he would rather masturbate to porn than have sex with scarlett johansson yeah and she wants everything he wants everything

to be like porn and she wants everything to be like porn, and she wants everything to be like romantic comedy. And then Tony Danza's in it, and people say it's really brave. For Tony Danza? They just say the whole thing was just a tour de force. Right. For all of them. They said it was very brave. Everybody, even the extras. Yeah, I like it when a movie says that people are brave or they're fearless,

because it's kind of like, look what look at how like confidently they did this stupid thing like aren't they fearless there is that phenomenon where like things that are that are really intense sometimes really border on being extremely cheesy you know yeah so you kind of take the risk i mean i think there's some legitimacy i mean to say legitimacy yep to that claim um that it is fearless and that is something cool. But it does have this kind of undertone of like, it's like what you'd say about something that you didn't like. Oh, that's fearless. Yeah, that was fearless.

That certainly took, like when you do stand up and somebody's like, hey, it takes a lot to get up there, I'm sure. You look like you're having fun. I mean, everybody else did. You're very courageous. In lieu of being good, someone tells you that, wow, I wouldn't be able to do that. I don't have the guts to do that. You're bad and you don't even know it. You're so courageous.

I could never bomb in front of strangers like that. I could not. I don't know how you put up with failure like that. I admire it. I admire it. All right. We'll keep it up with the like that. I admire it. I admire it. Alright, we'll keep it up with the Tumblr. Yeah, and I wanted to say, there's something that,

because I also did a found footage, I work with found footage a little bit, so I did this music video for Flock of Dimes, that was just Jen Wozner's side project, and it's just underwater movies.

So I've gone through a lot of movies, like hundreds of movies, just looking for stuff. And I think it's really funny the things you start to notice. In the cell phone movies, because it's such a new thing, if you were to watch Iron Man 1, and that's 2008 that came out. So there was no smartphone when that was being shot. They show Tony Danza. Tony Danza. It's Tony Danza, right? Tony Danza Stark is his full name. That's it.

They slip in subliminal images. What a good line. Do you know that Tony Stark's middle name is Danza? It's pretty weird, but yeah, he pulls it off. It's like Johnny Man Gacy. Exactly. Oh my god, that should really start being like This is my son. Exactly. Oh, my God. That should really start being like, this is my son, Tony Danza O'Brien.

You have to say it when you're angry. Tony Danza O'Brien, you cleaned your room. Danza O'Brien. Get in here. Right now. Antonio Danza O'Brien. Antonio Danza. Let's just get serious.

Ben Derris. O'Brien. But what I noticed was In Iron Man In Iron Man 1 They show like So Iron Man Tony Stark Right

What some people call him Right If you know If you're in the know His friend Which I am Because I watch the movie So

If it is his real name Exactly Which it is So They want Of course he's like Master of technology So they want his phone

To be awesome But all they have At that time All they can't think outside of the little box. They have the Zach Morris brick phone. He has this big kind of flip phone that flips out in a weird way and has a little screen on it. And it's kind of like his boss will show up in the video part. And you're just like, whoa, Tony Stark's phone is great. A video? Yeah.

He just received a text. Exactly. And then. These things are made for phone calls, yet he's not making one. Oh, my God. Exactly. So, but then. Did you hear that ringtone?

That was the Rites of Spring done with a synthesizer. No, it's cool. I keep, like, trying to interrupt you guys. Then I'm like, wait, this is your guys' podcast. It's called Digression Sessions. We invited you over. Please, interrupt me. Shut the fuck up. No, I'm like, wait, this is your guys' podcast. It's called Digression Sessions. We invited you over. Please, interrupt me. Shut the fuck up. No, I'm sorry.

Okay, so in Iron Man 2, Tony Danza's Revenge, that one's in 2010, so the smartphones have blown up, and everyone's like, oh, of course, smartphones. So then his phone in the second movie only two

years apart yeah is this like crazy giant like see-through completely there's no technology that matches it it's like out of the like crazy it's just like a glowing orb yeah exactly right now we got it like look we got burned in 2008 with this razor phone bullshit yeah let's just shoot let's shoot for the start nothing Nothing's even going to be there. I'm glad you brought up the Razer. I feel like that really is going to date us. Well, the Razer was huge. They were like $500.

I gotta have it. It's skinny. My dad got me a Razer. It flips like this. Oh my god, it's so thin. I didn't get a smartphone for a long time, actually. I was a resistor. Mike still doesn't have one. I'm more of a iPod and regular cell phone type guy.

See, that's just more shit in your pocket, though, dog. It is. You got to skill down. Yeah. But it is funny. I'll get texts from you. Like, hey, for example, I'll be like, oh, we're doing the podcast Thursday at 730 with Ben O'Brien.

You're like, okay, cool. And then you'll text me two days later like so what are we doing the pod and like in my cell phone i have the entire conversation but i guess with your phone like you're missing you know what i mean like it doesn't keep them all no i just scroll up bro oh yeah i can't scroll up but they're in there somewhere some i gotta like enter like a code it's like up up down down left right left right b a b a select start yeah and then i can then you're invincible and then you can try and then i'm part of the web ring again all right let me ask you this iron man catalog okay i have not seen it is he just communicating

telepathically whoa whoa josh sorry skipping the avengers chronologically first yeah you are right there i kind of thought of that. I thought of that as I was saying it, but I don't know. You can't jump into the world without talking. I don't care what you do. Yeah, okay, okay, okay. You're right. You're right.

Good point. Okay, so Avengers. Do we have a cell phone in Avengers? There is a cell phone. There's not his crazy Iron Man 2 cell phone, but there is a cell phone shot when he calls. Because he makes a lot of his cell phone calls in his Iron Man set in Avengers and in Iron Man 3. So you see Pepper Potts' cell phone go off

with the big Tony Stark face. And I have that one on the site. Where does hers rank in comparison? She, I believe, has a I kind of think she has like a quasi, you know those kind of like quasi, like big screened flip phones that kind of think she has like a quasi you know those kind of like quasi like big screened

flip phones that kind of like spread apart oh kind of like the what were those called that's the one that I don't think she has a smartphone but but I could be wrong I can't remember everything she has like the old school like retro yeah rotary phone exactly no I mean and that's

I actually am today I was debating because I spent over $100 on mean, and that's, I actually am today. I was debating cause I spent over a hundred dollars for my smartphone and that's just like absurd. It's like, we used to just have a phone on the wall for a whole family and it was like 20 bucks. Yeah. And now it's like everyone has to pay a hundred dollars plus hundreds of

dollars for the phone itself. Yeah. It's kind of absurd. So I was like, I should just go back to flip phones, but there's a thing where they make specifically make flip phones just shitty. Just so bad. Now, like they make them worse than they have to be they'll yeah you'll go in there be like i want a flip phone they're like really have you seen them i know you know we put

we put them up our asses they all smell i mean we haven't even cleaned all these there's shit it only plays eight tracks yeah it doesn't come with a nine button so there you go have fun with that yeah it's it's like they've made them worse no i i did have that for a while you're gonna need It doesn't come with a nine button. So there you go. Have fun with that. Yeah. It's like they've made them worse. No, I did have that for a while. You're going to need a 10-10 plan. 1-800-COLLECT all the time. No, I had that.

My friend's brother-in-law, he works at a Verizon store. And when I brought my flip phone in to renew my contract, he was like, I mean, I didn't even know they still made these. And I was like, yeah, but it's my phone. All right, whatever, stupid. It may not be much, but it renew my contract. I mean, I didn't even know they still made these. Yeah, but it's my phone. Alright, whatever, stupid. It may not be much, but it's my phone. Exactly. It may not be perfect, but it's some kind of wonderful. You're a dying breed. Soon, it's just going to be shitty smartphones.

I told you that. Mike Moran's dying, everybody. Spoiler alert. Yeah, I didn't mean to blow that. But smartphone... I'm sorry. You're so lucky I'm not into that's what she said jokes dumb phone flip phone um flip phones are i think i imagine at some point it will be like you need to have like a doctor's note to get one it'll be like vinyl exactly or no i don't even think that i think it'll be like a laser they'll actually take it and be like uh they're like it out of somebody and be like... And it's not even works.

And it's just like... We legally have to give it to you. But other than that, I think it's going to just be a range of shitty to good smartphones. And we're all fucked. That the rest of the world can have. Maybe it'll be a Supreme Court case. Right. Yeah.

Like for me fighting for my right to have a flip phone. Yeah. Mike Moran versus... The world. Mike Moran versus the world. I'm excited about that. All right. have a flip phone. Yeah, Mike Moran versus, you know. The world. Yeah, I'm excited about that. All right, so Iron Man 3. What's the phone? What's going on there?

I wish I could delve into this, but I think that Iron Man 3 might come up a little dry. I think if he makes phone calls, it's always inside of his helmet. Yeah, so they push the limit too far in Iron Man 2. He also might have an ear thing that he talks to Jarvis with. I can't remember.

Can he text within his helmet? He can do anything inside of his helmet. If you've seen that movie, it's completely ridiculous. Does he got iTunes? He probably has iTunes. He's probably got Word in there. He's probably got Pages. He's probably got Shazam.

Ask Jeeves. I'm sure he's got all of Ask Jeeves in there. Jarvis doesn't like that. Do you remember when you could ask Jeeves if he was gay? Did you ever do that? No. Certain questions you ask Jeeves and he wouldn't take you to a page of results. He would take you to him. A picture of Jeeves answering it

and being like, I gotcha. Let me tell you. Caught ya. Yes, I am gay. Because that was the whole thing with Ask Jeeves was it was like you don't just search keywords, which I think was ultimately its downfall. I think it was like,

we're going to get these stupid people to search on our site because we're going to make it like what dumb people think the internet is. We were like, how do I get to my friend Mike Moran's house? Enter. And then the internet is. We'd be like, how do I get to my friend Mike Moran's house? Enter. And then the internet's supposed to be like, oh, don't worry, here you go.

I'll tell you. And then Ask Jeeves is like, Mike Moran is not your friend. Exactly. You leave him alone, Cheryl. Get away from him. And I think people are like, you know what, I'm just going to use keywords. I'm going to go to Google or Bing and just use some keywords. Hell yeah. Bing it on one thing that i've noticed a disturbing thing that i

learned uh speaking of keywords if you type in any actress's name you know how like it'll it'll auto finish whatever like you're searching for right one of the most popular things to pop up is feet you know like it'll be like guanacaltrow, feet. Mila Kunis, feet. It's a fetish. It's a very popular fetish. I've met a few people that have it. Really? Seemingly normal guys.

I hear that's very popular. I don't get it. I don't get it either. I feel like I get it, but I don't have it. Do you think it's like a childhood type of thing? I think Ben has it,

and I get it. Yeah, I think that they find some sort of... you know, I mean clearly they're linking feet with an emotional response, but taboo could be involved in there, but I think what's actually interesting about that is that feet doesn't

get caught by their filters. It's not like topless or breasts or naked. You search feet, they're not going to be like, oh, you don't want people searching for your feet. You're not going to get cheeks. So it's like't want people searching for your feet. You're not going to get teased. So it's like thousands of people search for their feet. Right, so maybe that's why it pops up. Yeah, I guess boobs would be way ahead of that.

Boobs would be out of control. There's tons of guys who have boob fetishes. I don't get it. I don't get the whole nudity fetish, honestly. It's weird. I like more clothes than normal. Cover that up. Victorian era, all the way. Justka. Cover that up. Literally. Yeah, yeah.

Victorian era all the way. Oh, sure. Just describe it to me from far away. That's what I want. That's even a little much for me. Really? Yeah. I saw Scarlett Johansson's ankle once. Ugh.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I came immediately. My friend described Scarlett Johansson's ankle to me through a door once. And I almost puked. Sure. So that's a. Are you okay?

So, yeah. Thanks for coming over. That's traumatic to go through. No problem. I mean, anytime I'm in a room. Uhuked. Sure. Are you okay? So, yeah. Thanks for coming over. That's traumatic to go through. No problem. I mean, anytime I'm in a room with a door. No, we left it open. Oh, thank you. Just for you.

I noticed. Okay, cool. Thanks, man. I knew it had to do with her ankle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. All right. Where are we here?

What's happening? Let's figure this out. Let's break it down here. Mike Moran, you okay? Yeah. Yeah, doing good. Okay. How long have we been going for?

Three hours. How many people do you think are still listening as if this were happening live? You know, I commonly joke sometimes. Well, I stopped doing it, actually, but at the end of the episode, I was like, hey, if anybody's even listening. And then I've had people tell me, like, I listen. And then I just feel like a jerk. Well, they're like, yeah, I just feel like an idiot. Like, should I not be listening?

You know, it's kind of like when you're doing stand-up, and then you're like, oh, this isn't going well. And the crowd's like, no, I did think it was going well. Or when a band doesn't want to play their ballad, but the audience loves it. Uh-huh. That's what this is. This is a long ballad.

In another way, it's like you've got to have confidence in yourself and your product. It's like those TV shows, those magic shows where they'd always be like, and the craziest one we're going to save to the very end. And it's like, well, is there not another reason for me to keep watching? Is it not actually entertaining? Or do you have to just keep teasing this like David Blaine's going to fall into a pile of boxes kind of finale? He just jumps's gonna fall into a pile of boxes kind of he jumps off a ladder into a pile of boxes there's just like seven that was the whole thing he stood that was oh yeah he stood on a platform and what he fell into was just a big pile of boxes and they

were like he if he doesn't fall right into the boxes he could hurt himself or die it's just like seven like moving boxes yeah good job man yeah he's got it he was the king of that shit though like doing just dumb stuff like i'm gonna sit in this um lucite container for a month you're like okay that's not magic though and he does have that really like unfortunate way of speaking for for that like i'm gonna do this thing right and it kind of it just always makes him seem so lame. I love David Blaine though.

I'm pretty impressed by him. I like magicians. Is he a magician though? He is. Usually in those specials leading up to the dumb normal non-magic thing he'll do a bunch of sleight of hand stuff.

He'll fly sometimes. I've seen the levitating thing. That was kind of impressive. It's totally faked. Oh yeah, of course. It's actually like a camera trick. Not faked as in he does a magic trick where it appears that he's flying.

It's faked. The whole thing is faked. He can't actually levitate. Let's start right from the ground here. Magic is not real. So anytime you've seen him... But when you assume that someone faked a magic trick, you're thinking that they did a magic trick, like an illusion.

But what we're saying is that the entire thing is fake. It took no skill. That person was an actor when they're like, oh my god, he levitated. It was the skill of the director and the editor being like, if you just shoot this separately, we can make it look like you do anything. It's just too

amazing for magicians to do. Well, let me ask you this. Would you call that movie magic? Mike? What kind of cell phone are we talking about? The Motorola Magic? Absolutely. Thank you.

Yes. Thank you very much. Are you done throwing up? Yes, I am done. Okay, cool. I didn't actually fully throw up. Sorry. Was it my bad joke?

It was not fully thrown up. No, it was not thrown up. It was just... What about... How do you feel about the horror movies where they always have to have an explanation now about why they can't call the police on their cell phone? Oh, yeah, yeah.

You know, I saw a supercut. That's something I'm really into, supercuts, which just takes essentially just people who mine through movies and they just take one instance of something and they like just repeat it over and over again. It's a close cousin of the compilation. Yes, yes. There's definitely some overlap. Spiritual sister. There's some overlap. Spiritual sister. There's some overlap. Double compilation.

Yeah. And so there's one of those that people, it's of no signal. Like, I'm not getting a signal on my cell phone. It's like people go, oh, I can't get a signal. Right. Just over and over and over again in all these different movies. Because that is like a thing. It's like there's a lot of movies that would be ruined by smartphones.

Yeah. But what are we going to do once there's signals i mean i'm sure in 10 years you'll be able to get a signal anywhere on the planet i mean hopefully storytellers i mean hopefully our own lives won't be so boring that we can't even conceive of a creative way of like putting right actions together they'll come up with one way and they'll use it in every single yeah yeah oh i mean absolutely that's how those things work and maybe they'll just set everything in the 70s i left my phone at home yeah yeah there's no more modern movies yeah yeah every horror i mean that is a way to do it true true fantasy world um speaking of fantasies you're you like to direct huh you like that you

like to make the film i do direct yes you got you got your show beast i got show beast i heard there's a there's a drop dead uh deadline for when it's going to be done. Oh, jeez. That's what I heard. That's what I heard. I think you heard the opposite. No, we have been working on it for, I think we've been working on it for like three years. And not straight through it, that's the problem.

It's like I've had to, because I'm kind of the main force behind it of just directing, editing. You're the beast in Show Beast. Yeah, I make the schedule and I make the stuff happen. And for the millions listening who have stuck with us through all 38 minutes, what is Show Beast? Oh, I'm sorry. And from Mike Moran. I'm sorry, Mike. Show Beast is a video series that I started with my friend Aaron Gleason in 2006.

Oh, we were fresh out of college. Shout out. Sparkly eyes. Right. Naive. But she tailed. Just came out of SUNY. Wrote hard and put up wet.

We just read. Exactly. Young, dumb. Um, full of ideas. Full of just so many things. Smothered, covered in smothered. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb Are we Waffle House right now or are we House of Pancakes? Or are we both? We're in the north, so I'd say House of Pancakes. But are we not in the north, though? Some people say Baltimore's the south. Yeah, I don't like that.

We're below the Mason Dicks. That's true. But we fought for the Yanks. There were a lot of people that were not a fan of that in Maryland. It was a big controversy. Yeah, that was part of the riots on Pratt Street. Lincoln was marching very much wanted Maryland to be

part of the North because he didn't want D.C. surrounded by Rebs. Speaking of, I'm actually on a furlough right now. I got furloughed. Because of the government shutdown. What's a furlough right now. Yeah. I got furloughed. What? Because of the government shutdown.

What's a furlough? The government shutdown? Yeah. A furlough is like you're laid off. We're not paying you to go home, but we're going to have you back. Yeah. Well, technically, most of the federal government is furloughed, actually, because there's no budget. The Congress did not pass a budget for FY14.

Yeah. So I'm just chilling. Nice. I've actually really been enjoying the furlough. Congress did not pass a budget for FY 14. I'm just chilling. Nice. I've actually really been enjoying the furlough. Of course. Why wouldn't you? I don't know. Right. It does kind of feel like... Is that a punishment in your mind? No, it's not. It's like your school called on fire

or something and you just get to stay home. That's all it is. You didn't do anything wrong. Did you? You didn't cause this, did you? No. But you're not getting paid cause this, did you? Oh, no, no. But you're not getting paid. Well, I could get paid. The last shutdown, which I think was in 96 under Clinton, workers did get retroactively paid.

However, I may not get retroactively. It's not set in stone. But I can file for unemployment with the state of Maryland. And that would take a For like a week? Well, yeah, it would take three weeks to process, too. You'd get half of what you'd make. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, and then so...

But then if I get paid retroactively, I would have to pay back the state of Maryland anyway. It would just be a wash. So I think I might just ride it out. Yeah. Fuck it, you know? Whatever. I'm just going to podcast with my bros until this whole thing fucking washes. Really? For the money. Yeah. Fuck it. You know? Whatever. I'm just going to podcast with my bros and tell this whole thing. Where the money is. Yeah. I'm making tons of money right now. I mean, we get paid like

what? $50,000 and a half or something. Yeah. You can't shut this down. There's no budget. There's no... This thing is furlough proof. You can't stop. You're goddamn right. When you've got nothing, you've got nothing to lose. That's right. That's going to nothing, you've got nothing to lose. That's right.

That's right. That's going to be the new digression session's slogan. I think we really digressed. Big time. I think we what? I'm sorry. I don't think we didn't start with anything. Doubled.

I think we two times digressed. Big time. Because we started with Showbeast. And I'm sorry. I got selfish. I love it. I want to talk about how I'm currently kind of unemployed. I just like talking.

Yeah, I do too. I'm fine with that. This is the right spot to be. This is a talking show yeah let's suck if we didn't really like talking just a bunch of like crumages thing I don't know whatever yeah Josh will probably say something to that baseball my words are back yeah you ever eat a pf chang shut up i don't like it i don't like it anyway show beast god you guys sorry it's like i'm talking here go ahead it's like you guys think you can what are you the fucking guest on a program so show beast i don't remember where we were but show me the money

that we made so we were we were kind of young and we were like let's make a show we we really loved kind of kids shows when we were younger like uh mystery science theater 3000 it's not really a kid show yeah oh totally pull that thing closer or i did it again oh jesus i did yeah there you go all right There should be a warning. Warning? Warning, this microphone is becoming too close to your face. Do not talk every time you do. Okay, so wait a minute.

Mystery Science Theater 3000, a kid's show. Yeah, don't you guys think it's got puppets? It's got segments that's hilarious. There's adult humor. I wouldn't have gotten that when I was like nine years old. But Pee Wee Herman also has adult humor. And a lot of kids just have adult humor. And he got arrested for it.

It's a joke, everybody! I'm jerking off as a joke! We're filming for the show. But anyway, so we kind of made this kind of kids show style. You know, like Muppets and all that. So we kind of were like, we'll make a show too! i had never really done anything any filmmaking or yeah i done a little bit of editing a little bit of video work in college and aaron actually graduated from film

school so she kind of taught me how to do it and kind of showed me the rope so i we kind of used it to learn and it was kind of a it was a green screen show it was real janky so we kind of i kind of learned by allowing it to be bad like it could be have this janky aesthetic and and kind of look bad and we were kind of just having fun and learning and we always had this idea of like we're making this show it's going to come out and and we did put out a lot of stuff but it never we never it was like we were so young we were like we couldn't quite get it to be exactly what we wanted to be and it but it did kind of get better and the aesthetics changed and we kind of worked and then we started actually getting good at what we were doing as far as just

like we could make videos now we can direct them and edit them and yeah you've i mean you've done you've incorporated uh bands i guess i guess it works as uh solo pieces for them too it's just music videos but it's still a part of like the show beast narrative right of our concept for music videos so we wanted one of the reasons that we started it was because we wanted to work with all of our friends and a lot of the artists that we knew because we liked them so much. And one of the ideas was, let's not just make just a music video. Let's make a Showbeast. So it would be a collaboration.

So it would be like, let's make a Showbeast story that weaves a music video into it. So we have four or five music videos like that we've got one for height um local rapper yeah yep mickey freeland's good power um we've got one for beach house dan deacon dope body and dope body yeah so i think it's five yeah it's a good uh it's a good collection yeah and it's good bands so so this last so we finally we're like with that idea of like oh we want to make this show i we finally are trying to put together this full kind of like 30 minute right episode like as if it were a real show now are you combining everything or you're making like a separate 30 minute we

have if we were to combine everything we we had an episode that we called jungle snacks which was just all the little stuff and this one's called something big and it's like its own self-contained thing and it is like the biggest thing i've ever done it's big and it's like its own self-contained thing and it is like the biggest thing i've ever done it's so and we've already had like probably 100 shoots really yeah it's holy shit it's enormous and it's really hard to do because it's like you know obviously we don't get paid yeah and uh that sucks bro yeah so we um so it's been this labor of love but in the meantime a lot of things have come up some that will pay and some that just can't kind of i can't they have to take my attention away so that's why it's taken so long but i'm kind of back in the game and we're starting to all right to work on it all right so what what's

the uh i guess it's so hard because it's green screen it's puppets a lot of editing is that is that why it's taken so long yeah um it just uh it if you're gonna make something that's like 30 minutes and with green screen and with puppets that's already very complex um and then it's like especially i'm kind of doing a lot of i'm doing the editing as well as the directing all that so the editing when you edit and you come uh composite i don't know if you guys have ever done video editing but who the fuck do you think you're talking too bad Ben? Sorry. This is Mike Composite Moran over here. I'll just talk like I'm talking to Mike. I made the Jeremy video in the November range for the G.

Oh, my God. So you know a lot about green screen techniques. Yeah. Axl Rose never even showed up. Yeah, he did. But you wouldn't know that from watching the video. You wouldn't know. That's actually a really great lie.

That would be so funny. Like that really old green screen back in the day. It's like clearly not him. They're like, that's Peter Jackson. Like where people are driving, you know. They're always like so terrible. That was industrial light and magic. That wasn't Slash.

Yeah, people always driving with their hands moving. Sorry. Oh, no, please. I don't remember what I was saying. Yeah. So anyway, so it takes a lot. Compositing takes a lot of time because you have to basically take out all of the green, essentially, and replace it with a background.

So there's just another step to take with every single shot. And then you've got to color correct it and layer them on top of each other and get them all to work. It's a lot of special effects. Jesus. So we thought it would be easy. That's the other part. I was like, this will be easier because we have a green screen. Yeah, we don't even need to do real stuff.

We'll just fix it in post. It's way harder to use a green screen in a lot of ways. Cool. So what's the deadline? When's it coming out? What's the firm date that you want to stick with? Oh, January. Okay, just January.

He's shaking his head fervently. Yes, January. Not saying a year, though. All right, so what's been saying a year, though. Yeah. All right. So what's been pulling you away, though? I know you got a lot of irons and many fires. I do. I take too many things too seriously.

Like monsters. We were just working on a – we just finished up this fake infomercial for Adult Swim. Nice. That I worked on with Alan Resnick. Nice. Not that I know who that is. He's another video guy. How'd you,

uh, get hooked up with, uh, adult swim and that crew? Um, we, uh, we,

this, this one producer editor from adult swim, uh, became a fan, fan of wham cities through Dan Deacon, Dan's music from a long time ago, like from the early, like,

like 2005. Right. Um, and it was a long time ago actually that he was like, like, like 2005. Right. Um, and it was a long time ago actually that he was like, Dan, like you should get, you know, some of the Wham city guys to put together a,

um, a pitch or something. Right. And I actually wasn't in Wham city until 2008. So, and that, you know, it's for this reason or that reason didn't come together.

And then when I started doing the Wham city comedy tours, I think that kind of got us Wham city kind of working together again and got people kind of doing funny things and kind of came up again to be like, why don't we give this a try? Um, and so Alan and I were like, well, let's,

you know, we could, let's make this happen. Let's do it. Nice. Um, and we spent like two years working on the pitch and holy shit for was for a tv show and at the last minute our friend uh at adult swim was like oh and also pitch an infomercial the fake and we kind of threw that together

based on one of alan's performances that he would do and they immediately took that one and they denied the pitch so it works that you worked on forever. Yeah, exactly. Now, tell me more about this thing you threw together in like a month or whatever. No, I'm saying that's what they're saying. Sorry, you believe me? I get nervous. I was acting. You just believe me.

I take everything literally when I'm nervous. It's kind of true. Don't be nervous. I feel like you are more nervous now that we're asking you serious questions about stuff that you do. Does that put you in a tough spot? What? Asking questions. Be like, hey, what's the stuff that you do?

It doesn't put me in a tough spot. Your serious artwork. I feel like I have so much I want to say that I get stuttery. And then the thing. Wait, shut up, guys. And then the. Wait, wait. And then the Wait wait And I'll just

No don't Shut up Mike and I are like Hey Blowjobs Yeah exactly And then everybody Who's there

Like both jobs Oh yeah I need to get out of here Yeah Blowjobs in the morning I'm Blowey's job It's blowjobs in the morning That's like not even we've got

ben o'brien on he likes tony danza big dummy bringing you home tonight with walk like a camel that's so close to reality the afternoon morning did you see the orioles game and i wish i didn't i have a question for you guys. Here we go. Hit me. So you guys do stand-up. One, I know this is true. I'm saying that it is true. You guys do stand-up, yes. You also do improv.

Right. Just wanted to know more about that. I don't do improv. I'm afraid to do improv. Well, everybody is. Yeah. And then some people are better than others. Courage isn't the lack of fear.

It's walking through fear. Whoa. It's being afraid and doing it anyway For those listening at home Mike Moran is currently ascending into heaven After he just said that He grew wings I guess it's that I don't want to Not that I don't want to But it's that I believe I'm not good in improvisational situations

So then you do want to You're just scared I think you'd be good at it. I really feel like any funny, creative person could be good at it. Everybody sucks at it for a long time. And there are certain you know, like I'll tell my dad or certain people at work

like, oh, I have improv practice. And they're like, improv practice? I thought improv was the problem. Every time you have to explain it to anybody over the age of 45, they don't get it at all. But once you learn that there are certain rules, and there's always commonly the yes and joke. But yes and is really just, you don't literally have to say that. Like, I'm going to the market, yes, and we need tomatoes.

You don't have to keep saying that. Basically, it's just keeping the reality of the scene, keeping everything afloat. So if Mike and I did a scene where he's like, oh, man, what a tough day at work. And I was like, you don't work. You were fired months ago. And then you're like, what?

So it just sucks all the air out of the scene. So basically, yes, and it's just agreeing on the reality. And then you add to it. You're giving more and more background. The rules can be broken sometimes, yeah. And agreeing on the reality. And adding to it. Yeah, agreeing with the reality. And then you add to it. You're giving more and more background. And then you kind of... The rules can be broken sometimes, though. Absolutely. Sometimes it works when you contradict somebody.

Yeah, absolutely. But if you have to know where that's coming from, that kind of... You build a rapport with your troop and your team and all that stuff. But I love it. It's super fun. You can do...

Especially with people you've been working with a while, you can do that type of crazy stuff. You know they're going to be there for you. And you can bounce off of each other and really build something pretty wacky. I have a question. Yeah. Here we go. Ben O'Brien from Wham City. Yes.

Thank you. Ben Danza O'Brien. Thank you for having me, first of all. And my question is, do you guys feel like your improv affects your stand-up and your stage performance? And if so, how? Josh, you want to go first? Sure, I'd love to. Great question, by the way. Thanks for coming out.

I'm glad that we live in the type of society where we're free to ask questions like that. You're not afraid to ask. Do you have applause on here? Let's just get a little bit of applause. I don't have applause. Oh, gotcha. I caught you withcha. Oh, I caught you with your pants down. I caught you with your pants down.

It's not even applause. It's just hot breath into the mic. Whoa, settle down, crowd. Settle down. They're getting closer. They're an angry mob. Hot breath in the mic. I think it affects it in a positive way. Because I started doing improv first before stand-up.

And I've actually had people fucking toot my own horn for a little bit. A little beep, beep. I've been doing stand-up that long. And I've had people... 1996. I mean, not that long. 311 was at the top of the charts. The president had a ball necklace.

Barney had Chinko jeans. But just getting that stage experience, I've had people say, like, how long have you been doing stand-up? I'm like, not that long. Maybe like – at the time it was like six or seven months. Like, oh, you have a good stage presence. And I think improv was a good way to kind of cheat that so you kind of you're comfortable being on stage in front of people um and then with improv with stand-up too uh improv filtering into stand-up you're not as afraid to kind of go off the cuff i'm not saying like i'm a riff monster yeah i know what

you mean but like you know that if something happens, you're not afraid to go there or joke around a little bit. Sometimes I've realized that's kind of the funnest thing to do. I'm trying to, when I go up to perform, especially if the show's been going on for a little bit, I like to comment on stuff that happened just that night. Yeah, that's a good way. Because that's a good way to show it. It also unites the room, too. Yeah, that is what's happening. That did happen with the thing and the stuff and the guy.

He's here with us. Yeah. And then I actually did that the other night. I was doing a Color Me Funny show, and I was in Bel Air. And I was like, you know, you guys know what I'm saying, Ellicott City. And they're like, uh. And I was like, ah, I was just kidding. You guys are unmistakable.

It's Bel Air. You're one of a kind. But I brought it up later. I was like, all right, I'm going to do one more joke just for you guys, Ellicott City, because you guys are great. So it's cool. And then I riffed on that for a little bit. And they're like, oh, yeah, he fucked up, but he admitted it. So insult them.

Make them feel bad. Sure. And then pretty much how you treat a woman. Yeah, exactly. Hold them in that place for the whole. And then again, be like, just kidding, guys. Just kidding, baby. You know I loves you.

You know I loves you. And you give them all a pat on the butt. But I really think improv and stand up, it's definitely. It's different. It's different, but it's. And yet the same. Yes. It's the same comedy muscles.

I would say. Yeah. You know, you're working out a little bit. Maybe you're working out your tricep, right? And that's your improv. But then you work out your bicep, which is your stand-up. The two help each other. They do, yeah.

They're going to influence each other. Yeah, exactly. That's what I would say. Oh, I love that. Thank you guys for coming. Thanks, Hank. Thanks for coming thanks thanks for coming back uh for me i weirdly i it's it's they kind of remained separate when you first started for me weirdly it just sounded i just want to point

that out well but i i like you i love i love mike moran right but you did get the high pitch voice when somebody like when they they're too afraid to say they like something. Well, it was good. I think you should go with this character. I think this should be the new Mike Moran character. Good for you. It'll be the new Mike Moran. Continue. I'm sorry to interrupt.

For me, they've kind of I wasn't very comfortable at all riffing with the audience during stand-up, even though I had become comfortable with improv. Like, when you start improv, you're like, oh, my God, how am I going to be funny out there? But then you really do get to a point where you just kind of don't care and you just build a scene and then, like, the funny kind of comes to you. Yeah, yeah. But it's taken me a long time to be able to improvise with stand-up confidently. You know what I mean? I'm not really sure why. But I think really just any being on stage.

I mean, the biggest hurdle for any performance, I think, is just the anxiety of being on stage. Yeah. So really just whether – so being on stage with improv obviously loosened me up for stand-up. But I think any being on stage or any public speaking really is going to loosen you up. You'll get that same kind of confidence. It's really whatever gets you have to take if you're going to do it

it's that moment where you stop worrying or even thinking about being funny that you're just on stage and it's like yeah this performance in the presence it's stage presence as in being there being present being really there everyone's thought about that not worrying and not thinking and the audience can kind of like feel that they reflect that back where they trust you. And for someone with anxiety, it's like the thing that I used to kind of create. I thought I had to create a persona to act around the anxiety. I didn't used to shake on stage. I would be like, hey.

That kind of thing. And now I'm much more trying to just be that like i feel anxious i'm just going to be anxious but i'm going to be confident in my i do want to say uh your most recent performance at chuckle storm uh i always thought you were funny that your stand-up was good but i would definitely say you're more of uh more of a stand-up like you definitely seem like i could tell you you're growing as a stand-up comedian fella. You're a grown boy. Because, yeah, you would do kind of character stuff, which was still funny. But, you know, it wasn't Ben. I was really into absurdism.

I was really into, like, Steve Martin. But I was using it, I feel like, to put up a barrier. Right. To be safe, which I think a lot of people do. I think some people don't, but I think a lot of people will use that as a barrier. Well, that's the comfort of doing a character because you're like oh if they don't like that that was that guy that's not me that's the character hey fuck them yeah right but versus like hey this is how i actually feel and they're like boo but steve martin himself and there are

many comics who use that character create that character i feel like there's times when that's almost even more vulnerable or you're putting yourself more out there. I think sometimes. But for me, I was definitely blocking. So then I was just like, I'm just going to go up and just talk more how I talk and just let go of that kind of character and be vulnerable in front of the crowd and be anxious. Right. Well, you even talk about anxiety, which is great. Which is what I have. Well, I'm not saying that you feel anxious, but the bit, I'm not trying to spoil it, but about smoking weed and how that just doesn't jive with you. I had the exact same experience with marijuana when I was younger.

Which is such a great thing because there are so many people out there like that. And I'm pretty much the same way, too. But I just love the line where you're like, basically when everybody asks me if I want to smoke pot, they're basically saying like, hey, man, you want to get anxious? Hey, man. That's how I was. And I would do it over and over and be like, why did I get stoned? I feel horrible. Exactly.

But for some reason, like six months go by and you're like, maybe this is the answer. Right, yeah. Because everybody else is like mellowed out and like I'm the exact opposite. Yeah, totally. I'm like freaking out. I can't do it. Yeah, especially if there's something in the back of my brain That I'm trying to hide I'll deal with that another time

As soon as you smoke it's like Hey remember this People who do it too They'll even be like I'm wicked paranoid right now But I'm so chill How can you be both paranoid and chill I remember I was asking this guy And he was like

Well it just makes me dumb so I don't have to worry about all the shit going on in my life. That is not what it does for me. I get dumber, but I don't want to be. I'll be like watching Mrs. Doubtfire and be like, I'll think that Robin Williams and Mrs. Doubtfire

are two different people. There's movies going on for five hours and who are these two people and who cares? Ifire are two different people. I'll be like, this movie's going on for five hours, and who are these two people? Who cares? I'll just be really dumb. I'll be like, everyone in the room, they know I'm high, and they hate me for it. That's where I go.

For me, it would be like, the wheels are turning so fast, and then when you say something, you're like, peanut butter. And they're like, what? And you're like, nothing. Everything, you're like, I'm going to say this, I'm going to say this. Then it finally comes out, and everybody's like, what're like nothing like you know like everything like i'm gonna say this i'm gonna say this then it finally comes out everybody's like what no or like when you have to talk to someone who's not high and it's like you're like i'm gonna i'm not i don't sound right i'm i'm saying stuff too fast how long do you pause between words like i can't remember

and then i just go cool huh okay um uh once i'm in high school i like i thought it would be a good idea because i was still at that phase where i thought I should be like everybody else is when they're high, you know, and I hadn't caught on to the fact that it was making me crazy. I did. Some people are just different. And I like – so I thought it would be a good idea because like alcohol mellowed me out. Yeah. But pot – and so I thought it would be a good idea to get stoned before a presentation I had to do. Oh, no.

In front of like – and it was like a weird thing because I was in a class full of seniors and I was like a sophomore. And so I didn't know anybody and I was scared to talk. I never talked or anything. Yeah. And it was just horrifying. I mean it was just – Did you get through it? Yeah, I did.

I did. Yeah. It was insane though. I'll never forget that feeling. Yeah. Oh, my God. I've had similar stuff where you like You hear your voice quiver And you're like

Oh fuck Yeah I'm done Yeah That's always the worst part too Is that We're cognitive And aware that it's happening

But you just can't do anything about it You should just be like Hey I just need to chill out But you can't Right It's just You're on that roller coaster No no

There's no way You're done I feel like I had I seriously think I had two times that were fun when I was stoned out of probably chasing that dragon, bro. The first time that I really got high, it wasn't the first time I smoked pot,

but the first time I really got a good buzz was fun. And then one random other time when I was 18, for some reason it just became a really fun, good time. And every other time it was awful. I've had about two times where it wasn't awful, too. And the one was I got high and watched Ryan Tricarton videos and then played Katamari,

which was awesome. And everyone should do that when they're high. Who's Ryan Tricarton? Ryan Tricarton is this video artist who's just, like, look him up. He's kind of like breaking, like, he's the only, like, I he's the only video video artist that is some what broken into the mainstream a little bit okay he's just bizarre like crazy weird creepy right um and um and very funny too but and then katamari is that is that japanese game video game where you roll around as a ball and you pick oh yeah it was really fun if you once weirdly. It was really fun. If you have

a really fun activity, maybe it's fun. But otherwise, it's terrible. And everything's safe and secure. You don't have any horrible thoughts in your head. There's no pressing issues. Don't watch The Mentalist. That freaked me out. He's British, but he's not talking about the British accent. Exactly. I was like,

these are actors. I just couldn't... Why are they pretending? It's a. Exactly. I was like, these are actors. I was like, why are they all pretending? I remember one time I was stoned and I watched something on TV where it was awkward, violent TV moments or something with footage

of celebrities getting violent or just really bad interviews and stuff. It was so painful. Why are humans doing this? Yeah, it's awful. But yeah, the other day I actually had a good time getting high. I also realized too that most people are like, you want to smoke a blunt?

And they'll smoke a ton of weed. I just can't do that. Yeah, yeah. It's like, how the fuck did you do that? How is your brain just not jelly and just leaking out of your ears? Oh my god, one time we ate pot and it was the highest I've ever been. It was awful. Oh, no.

It increases the amount of THC. Something about the way you digest it, basically it becomes four times as strong, like bordering on hallucinogenics at that point when you eat it. And just real quick, we were cooking it in my roommate Chris's parents' kitchen, and his dad came down down and Chris was just convinced that we were caught for some reason because he was cooking it. He just looked at him and he was like, sorry. Then his dad was like,

for what? Oh, nothing. What did you do? I'm sorry. I'm a good man. Continue. You got me. Having something to do and then knowing that you are in a safe, secure spot is totally how I have to do it. Amanda and I will get high now and again if it's just the end of the day.

We're like, all right, let's get some snacks. Let's watch a movie. Get high. Yeah, I can picture that. But we got some Ben & Jerry's cookie dough. I know why you had a good time. You had Ben & Jerry's cookie dough ice cream. That helped.

It certainly helped. But then we also watched a movie, a documentary on the coral reef, but on my 3D TV, and it was in 3D. Fucking amazing. It was so cool. It was like typical stoner stuff, but when a whole school of fish look like they're in the living room, you're like, oh, here we go. This is it. You know, the situation is more fun to be dumb in.

Maybe it can be fun, but being dumb makes me terrified. I feel like my intellect is the only thing protecting me from all the terrors of the world. Yeah, that's true. I feel like I'm able to be like, it's not happening.

You got to be sharp, ready for like, when you get stoned with your friends and then they'd'd start doing illegal things and spray painting and running around. That was the worst. I was like, can we just go sit in somebody's living room, please? Yeah, I was never that kind of exciting child. No, I wouldn't do that stuff either. One time, me and my friend got high at our friend's apartment,

and we were going to go see Thursday. And I think it was just him and I that got high and there were like two other people there and then my friend's girlfriend showed up and when she walked in the door for some reason he had hershey kisses and he like threw him at her as a joke like here's a kiss but like he threw them really hard and it was kind of like from me to where you are, Mike, like two feet away and connected with her open eye. And to this day, she kind of still has a line on the color of her eye. So we're outside like high, giggling

and we come in and we see our friend who's like, why the fuck would you do that? I have a good one. Me and my girlfriend, when I was like maybe 19, 20, we were stoned and walking around the avenue back in, I guess, like, 99, 2000 or something. And, you know, again, a terrible situation for me, like, being around people. I'm scared someone's going to attack us or somebody's going to say something to me.

Just strangers in general as well. Yeah, yeah. Like, we weren't familiar with this area. We were from the county. Yeah. And so we go around, like, you know, go around the alley next to Holy for Holies. And there's a woman on the ground screaming with blood squirting from her head. Oh, my God.

And a man had thrown a Hershey kiss right in her head. A giant Hershey kiss. It's a kiss. You got so high. I'm pretty sure we saw the perpetrator run away, but I don't know if it was somebody else. Right. And people like crowding around her and calling the police and stuff and like following the guy, I guess, who did it or whatever. Wow.

It was insane. Yeah, geez. Screaming like, why me? Oh, my God. What an awesome thing to scream. We all have to think about what we're going to scream in that situation to make it awesome. I don't know. Do you want to have a line or do you want it to be natural?

Well, I used to have a joke about how I didn't want my last words on earth to be dude. And that I would actually think I would practice the line from the movie. Oh, another story with that same girlfriend and probably the same bag of marijuana where we were in her car that she had just gotten from her father, a brand-new car, and we're driving around Stone on York Road where it turns into the woods. No, not York Road. One of those little roads off of York Road like in Cockeysville or something, Warren Road or something. Okay. Out in the county. We're in Baltimore.

We go around a curb. Wait. Are you going around a curve or a curb? Those are two actual things on a road. Probably both, I think. Wait, what? It's a curb curve. We basically just slide right into an oncoming car.

It's one of those things, right? Apparently, this is what I say when I think I'm going to die. Oh my God, no! It's appropriate. It's a good choice. You don't want to just scream, dude. Dude!

In the fall and in the woods. Dude, dude, dude, dude. Yeah, exactly. And his final words were, dude, dude, dude, dude. I had a friend who almost hit a deer and i was in her car and i i went deer like i thought about it yelled deer which was i'm proud of to this day you knew but then i made this kind of disgusting like ghost sound and then after it happened she swerved and after it happened there was silence and i was like oh good they didn't notice that i made that weird sound right

and then like a few minutes fast and they're like hospital ben what what did you do then you just open the car door and roll out and i was like oh but i i've tried to really train my brain to be helpful in those situations like you're gonna hit an upster you know like trying to get exactly what you need to get out as fast as you can get it out because i don't sure when people just like stop and i'm just like i'm trying to like help them out at the same time trying to figure out like what right i'm about to meanwhile they'd run over a person you're like exactly you're about to run over a person yeah then you get sorry i yelled into the mic no don't apologize just delete that yell into it just delete this do you want to yell oh good job thank you good job that'd be a good yell yeah or like a beautiful singing voice when

you're about to die because think of like like all your friends in the car like man that was really scary but did you hear like what how beautiful his voice was that's what he does when he's afraid right there's that like slowed down moment where everybody's just looking at you yeah yeah the car crashes yeah yeah wow they probably think you're pretty fucking weird though you know like you guys would be in heaven they'd be like bro uh you what was i remember what happened yeah we're all kind of pretty scared and you were weird and you're like guys we can fly why don't we talk about this another time let's enjoy no no no let's hash this shit out we can talk to mozart um you know in the 80, they attempted to create a phenomenon where kids would scream in a specific way so that if they were being molested, adults would know that something was up and it wasn't just a playful scream.

Wow. And, yeah, you're supposed to scream really low, like, oh. Of course, children don't have that. Just really low, like a tube and throat singer, like, that kid's getting molested. I felt it in my gut. I just felt my feet rumble, and I knew a child was being molested. Speaking of horrible things happening and noises, have you guys ever heard a fox scream? It sounds just like a person.

You know, actually, I think I have. My dad, when he recently moved out to an area that's surrounded by woods, every night he would hear, like, Ah! Ah! Oh, yeah. And he went out by woods, every night he would hear like, and he went out and looked and then he realized it's a fox. That's just how they sound. They have owls that sound like people who are dying. I can't really do it because it's too loud. That's what an owl sounds like.

Right now my neighbors are like, there's a dead owl in their house. They're like, what's that owl doing here? We're not near the woods. That owl is trapped. That would happen at night. I can't remember what it's called. It's called a barn owl or something. They actually got the cops out there because they thought someone was getting hurt.

They walked around and they discovered it was an owl. They killed that owl, right? They killed the owl. Owl, yeah. Get the hell out of here. Owl, yeah. Owl. Owl said, owl. Owl. Ow here. Ow. Ow.

Ow. I feel good. Fine. I don't know. All right. All right, Ben O'Brien. I got a couple more questions for you. Bring them on.

Then we can get you out of here. I've got two left in me. Okay. On your most recent Chuckle Storm appearance, you showed some show beasts. That's right. Dan Deacon. And that was technically the intro to his video, right? That long.

Yep. Yep. And yours. Oh, Jesus. I just hit that. You said that you got some comments that were like, where the fuck's the video, you fucking fuck you? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, like anything that we do or that I'll do, especially with like, I mean, actually, Showbiz doesn't get that much like hipster hate. Okay. You know, and that's kind of what it would be like is like, fuck these fucking hipsters. I want to see a fucking video. Show me fucking dope body, you pieces of shit. Exactly. So it's so in that.

But that one's even worse. That one's an 11 minute video for a five minute song. So it's so in that but that one's even worse that one's an 11 minute video for a five minute song so it's six six minutes also it's like the thriller of hipster videos exactly so some people resonate with it and they're like this is awesome and that feels good and then right then there's other people who are just like like i said the top rated comment is just like skip the video click here like get to the music and it's this thing that you like slaved over for months and editing they're like skip all that bullshit get right to the music and it's this thing that you like slaved over for months and editing they're like skip all that bullshit get right to dandy and like like when the label label was like

oh could we get just a cut that's just the music video i'm like what why why would you want that no i knew that people i mean what's great when you work in a collaboration is that uh under a different name is that you don't really take the criticisms that right you know like i never i knew that people what people were gonna think about it and yeah and um but i do also really appreciate when people like something that's why i'm a part of nambla the way to go so i don't have to take all that hate on myself criticisms be damned that's a good point i'm with my brother in here that's a good point all we want to do is fuck kids all right good night guys that's how we end every episode yeah i'm here with my bros and all we want to do is fuck kids. So fuck you. Good night, guys. That's how we end every episode. I'm here with my bros, and all we want to do is fuck kids.

Follow me on Twitter. Next week we'll have Jay-Zak. Jay-Zak is a comedian, but also a teacher. And Mike kept grilling him about whether he's attracted to any of the students in the high school. And that was not something he wanted to talk about. No, no. I teach and I would joke only around people because they were like, you can't make that joke. And I'd be like, no, I'm going to make the joke.

But I never actually would. But I was like, pedophile just means you love children. I love children. I'm a pedophile. I love kids. If you're looking for a pedophile, you found one. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's what the word means.

Well, you cannot be more the opposite of Jay Zek. No, I think it's because he teaches full time. Yeah, I do after school teaching, which is like if you have a bachelor's. Well, then it's not really teaching. And you can't actually teach. You just get stuck in the world of after school, which is very intense in its own right. It's very intense schooling, and you need to be very good, but it's its own kind of world. Yeah, I mean, that's got to be especially hard because you're dealing with the kids that need help.

And they've already gone through a whole day of learning that they didn't do. And you're like, hey, bro, let's talk adverness. Yeah, well, they're like, look, I didn't learn anything today all day. You think I'm going to start learning something right now? I'm fucking dumb. Hello? I'm a troubled inner city kid. think uh this is gonna work this is the bottom of my to-do list pal i have simple math problems that i don't know how to do i will cut you okay no they're great you've watched lean on me one too many

times exactly no i mean i do love it i do like it and it is it is really uh important for kids yeah it's gotta be rewarding, too. To have people like that in their life that aren't like teachers being like, do your homework, you goddamn kids. I'm going to call your mom. They have nicer, younger people that are like, do your fucking homework. I'm going to call your mom if you don't. But just kind of sweeter. But you say it higher.

We say it a higher pitch. And we say it a little softer and slower give a little more up speak on the end, and then you give them dap afterwards to let them know you're cooler. Absolutely. Fist bump it, bro. Yeah, yeah. So you said you suffer from anxiety. I do. I do.

Do you take meds? I do not. Why not? Have you ever? I have never. Yeah, me either. Me either. I have never, in fact. I don't

for myself because I want I'm obsessed with self-improvement I'm obsessed with home improvement so I can understand exactly that reference is becoming outdated guys

I'm just saying if we want this podcast to still be Al Borlands? I don't think so, Josh. Someone over here looks the part. You are the weakest link. Goodbye. Anyway. Can I get a lifeline?

Yeah, my biggest anxiety triggers when people bring up home improvement. Right. So what have you found naturally that helps you? I meditate and I work. Well, so I go to cognitive-based therapy, which is basically like anxiety is different than depression in ways where you're not necessarily sad. Like there's not this like kind of like nothingness to things.

It's just you're kind of tormented by thoughts, which can happen in both. And that's why there's anxiety and depression. I got the double bill. I don't really get depressed. I am just incredibly nervous and I'll get depressed. I will get depressed but it's from just anxiety for months. If I have anxiety for months, I'll

just start to be like the world. I hate the world and I don't want to live in it. Other than that, it's just obsessive thoughts. If you go for the thoughts, and that's what I try to world and I don't want to live in it. Right. But, um, but other than that, it's like the, it's just obsessive thoughts. So if you go for the thoughts and that's what I try to do, I try to look at my thoughts and kind of unwind them and see how they're not true or see, you know, other kind of open my mind to that.

And also going to therapy that all that kind of really does just that, that helps me man. I like to be the goalie that blocks the negative thoughts. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I'm trying to train my mind to, the goalie that blocks the negative thoughts. Yeah, exactly. I'm trying to train my mind to turn all negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Yeah, you've got to do that. Yeah, exactly.

You've got to. And it's true. It's not I want to kill people, but it's I get to kill people. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's the opportunities. You've got to look at it like an opportunity. Turn that rifle upside down, buddy.

There you go. I don't know what that means. I love it. I'm writing that down. Do it. Putting it in my act. Do it. Do you like it when people call them acts?

I kind of don't like it. I'm going to put that in my act. Right. Your routine. It's a bit. But you do have that, though. You've got to have your act. No, no, no.

That's the problem with stand-up comedy is that it's like every word for it, everything about it is also kind of repulsive. Well, I never thought I'd be using the word troop so much before I started improv. But you kind of just got to be like, well, fuck it, I'm in a troop. I know. I like team better than troop. That's my team. Okay. That's my improv team.

Team's a good word. Yeah. It's noncommittal. Well. Well, not non-committal but just middle Not controversial is what I mean It's not like compound or cult That's more committal My crew, my clique

My improv cohort My spiritual brothers And or sisters My inside friends Inside my brain yeah that tell me to kill people exactly

I don't mind the stand up talk sometimes that's how we end the show I don't mind the sun sometimes thank you guys good night

good night no like saying bits chunks taglines I mean part of me likes it yeah but I

that's the sick part of you. Oh, boy. Nasty. No, I guess it's just that identity. Sometimes I feel like it's a part of an identity to use terms. But then it's just also just like it's totally a part of just logistics and communication. I think it's how you

phrase it. I got this new chunk on diarrhea. I wrote a joke. Do people say chunk? Yeah. I got this new chunk on diarrhea. I wrote a joke. Do people say chunk? Yeah. Yeah. I don't do chunk. It's like a bunch of bits.

Wow. Jesus. I guess it's because I've only ever had a bunch of bits once. I don't have a word for it because I don't have it. You've got to have a chunk on it. I think I've gotten my first chunk. Are you familiar with tags? A tag is kind of like the punchline.

It's an add-on, right? Yeah. Basically, so is kind of like the punchline. No, it's like an add-on. It's an add-on, right? Yeah. Basically, so like you've already done the punchline. Yeah, a little bit more. Yeah, I see. Usually the tag, you know, most people are like, okay, the wave is crested. Oh, my God, there's another wave.

We got to move our towels. Carrie jumped out of the grave for one last scare. Exactly. Boom. That's a tag. Okay. Let's see. I'm going to start using these terms.

Yeah. Blue. I've got a bunch of tags on my chunks. You need to go to the doctor. I'll tell you what I do think is annoying, though, is when we're doing improv or something and somebody's like, hey, guys, just to let you know, you've got five minutes. And someone's like, thank you, five. I don't like that.

Wait, what? Yeah, that's the way you're supposed to respond. Oh, that's what you're supposed to say. We need you on the stage in 10 minutes. Thank you, 10. Thank you, 10.

It's kind of just being like, I heard what you said. Yeah, I guess so. We used to do that at Paper Moon, though, on the line. Really? Yeah, in the kitchen.

When you go, they're like, hey, we need two sweet potatoes and one mozzarella. You're like, all right, two sweet potatoes, one mozzarella,

heard. Right, yeah. Take heard. Yeah, yeah. Thank you, sweet potato. Thank and one mozzarella. Two sweet potatoes, one mozzarella. I heard. Thank you, sweet potato. Thank you, mozzarella. He had to kiss each one. I work for... I thought of this. I thought you guys would think it was funny.

I have also art handles. I used to do some art handling. Putting up art in galleries, museums. Moving it from homes to galleries, museums, all that kind of stuff. Okay. And I have a boss there who's just kind of a funny guy. So when you're on a job, you've sometimes got to call him. I mean, it's that kind of job.

Sure. And we had this joke where we would talk to him in front of the client. If we were talking to him in front of the client, like, okay, okay, Bill. Yep. And then he would hang up, but we would pretend like we were still on the phone with him. And we'd look right at the client and be like, okay, I love you too, Bill. And then look at them like he makes us say that. Okay, bye.

And then hang up. Yeah, that's good. That is good. I like that. I hate people that do that, though. But no, no, no. But seriously. That's really good.

I hate people that do that. The joke itself is funny. No, but you doing it as a joke. Hate the sin or not the sin. I love you, and I want you to find help, but I hate the thing itself. Yeah, you're not dead to me yet, however. No, you're doing it as a joke, but people that actually do that when they're making fun of the third person, like, yeah, I guess. Oh, it's so funny, though.

When you're not one of the guys, it's like, don't rope me into your bullshit. I'm not making fun of you. It's even worse when it's something serious, like an argument or something, and then the person turns to you like, this idiot. And then you're making me choose a side or something.

Oh, yeah, I don't like that when people try to get you into their conflicts on their side. That's what I'm talking about. I constantly tell Josh this. Ben, you into their conflicts on their side. That's what I'm talking about. Because then you're the same. Yeah, I know. I constantly tell Josh this. Ben, you're on my side with this, right? Totally. Absolutely, man.

Hey, you guys are ganging up on me over here. Hey, don't do that. All right. All right. I think we should wrap it up here. This was fun. Let's put a little bow on it. I think so.

Ben, did you have fun? I had a great time. Good. I'm glad you came. Yeah. Is there anything else you want to talk about? It sounded sarcastic and angry. That was a really good warm-up, so we're going to start.

Yeah. So just press record, because I feel like good to go. Yeah, let's get loose. All right. Is this an improv stretch? You just clap? Yep. We do this for like an hour.

Yeah. That synchronizes your brains. Right. Group mind. Group mind. Yeah. That synchronizes your brains. Right. Group mind. Group mind. Yeah. Group mind. Group mind.

What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing, dude? I'm sorry. This is Josh's house. You would fucking suck at improv, right? For the people at home, I stopped clapping first. Yeah, they fucking felt it. Jesus Christ.

Is there anything else you want to talk about, Ben? Before I kick you the fuck out? I think we've talked about all the things I wanted to talk about. Uh-huh, you got to stand up. We'll be at Delia Fowler's. That's right. We're playing a show together, correct? Goddamn right.

Playing a show together. Yeah, I'm excited. Did I say that wrong? Yeah, you don't know the lingo at all. It's called riding the turkey. We're riding the turkey. But we got a gig. We're riding the turkey. But we got a gig. We're both gigging.

We're doing our bits at the gig. What about this? This has nothing to do with it. At the speakeasy. What about like in old-timey movies when they're like, he's actually lunching with Phil right now. Lunching. Lunching.

Lunching. Lunching. So what do you call it? I'm dining. Imagine you're saying it. What are the words that come out? Putting the baby to bed. We're going to put the baby to bed together. Yeah. So what do you call it? I'm Diney. Imagine you're saying it. What are the words that come out? Putting the baby to bed. We're going to put the baby to bed together?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's what people say. Yeah. All right. Jesus Christ. Yeah, Ben.

Well, I'm excited to put the baby to bed with you. Okay. Great. And we're going to kiss it. We're going to wrap it. All right. If that's cool. Yeah.

Are we? I'll kiss it and we'll wrap it. Okay. Okay. So I have to say what you said. You want to be committed. If that's cool. Yeah. Are we? I'll kiss it and we'll wrap it. Okay. Okay. You want to be committed. This is your thing. Okay. Okay.

Hey, we didn't talk about the Wham City Comedy Tour. Just in 20 words or less. 20. Tell me about the most recent Wham City Comedy Tour. Wham City Comedy. One, two. Jesus Christ. Three.

That was three. You already used up three. You burned a lot of words. You're 85% done already It's a tour With My friends Who are funny

We play shows On a tour You're done Put a fork in that Put it on Wikipedia I think that'll work It takes time and pressure You are really bad at describing that. Put a fork in that. Put it on Wikipedia. You guys put a lot of pressure. That's what happens when you put pressure on me. I think that'll work. I think that'll work.

It takes time and pressure. Cool, cool. If there are any people listening who edit Wikipedia, feel free. I listen to the end and I edit Wikipedia. And I vote. Feel free to put that. I edit Wikipedia and I vote. Feel free to put anything you've heard tonight up on Wikipedia.

I would love that. I would love that. Including Ben O'Brien is a pedophile. Yeah, put that up there. tonight up on Wikipedia. I would love that. Including Ben O'Brien is a pedophile. Yeah, put that up there. I love kids. I'm a pedophile. I'm just saying that's what the word means. So if that's what the word means, I'm a pedophile. Okay.

Well, to end it there. Professed and known pedophile, Ben O'Brien. All right, thank you. If you remember anything from this show. Expected pedophile, Josh Kaderna. All right, thank you. If you remember anything from this show. Expected pedophile, Josh Gadurna. That's me. Not quite in the open. And former pedophile, correct? Yeah.

Doesn't love kids anymore. All right. We will be, after all that talk, Thursday, October 10th. Yes. We will be at Delia Foley's. That's right. It's a free show in Baltimore. It starts at 8.

Super funny lineup. Me, Ben O'Brien. We've got Umar Khan. We've got Kathy Carson. Yep. Mike Fonazo is the headliner. Who's the feature? This gal, Becca Steinhoff.

I don't know her, but I hear she's funny. Great. I can't wait. But, yeah, it should be a super fun show. We're doing it for charity, guys. We're donating this one. It's a free show. This is for the Ped I hear she's funny. Great. I can't wait. But, yeah, it should be a super fun show. We're doing it for charity, guys. We're donating this one. It's a pretty short one. This is for the Pedophiles of America Fund, which we're trying to spread some love.

P.O.A. P.O.A. P.O.A. What's that song they did? I Feel So Alive. P.O.A. And, Ben, where can people find you on the internets? You can go to...

If they were to ask Jeeves where to find Ben O'Brien. Yeah, if you were on Ask Jeeves. Where can we see pictures of your feet? Definitely Google BenO'Brien.net Okay. And that will have some information about you. It's more like it's not a really great website, but then there's WhamCity.com there's Showbeast.net

I'm all over the place. There's Facebook. You're on Twitter? Twitter is Ben F. O'Brien is Ben F. O'Brien At Ben F. O'Brien What does the F stand for? The F stands for Franklin That's my middle name

That's weird It's like Tony Dan's O'Brien Benjamin Franklin Why didn't you bring that up earlier? Because You got a lot to explain you guys are real couple nice guys thank you for having me wow that seemed very sincere both staring at me about this yeah why was benjamin franklin not a president by the way come on wait wait what do you mean why was he not

a president he run i don't know even not by the way his gut was looking, I'll tell you that. Whoa, I run for president. Benjamin Franklin was so fat, he couldn't even run for president. Oh, James Madison, you got him. They did like the presidential roast. Now, George Washington, this guy's had more wood in his mouth than Ben Franklin, you fat bastard. Am I right? Oh, man. Presidential roast.

That's a good idea. This guy has sex with his slaves. Jefferson, you know I love you. You know I love you. That's a really good idea. All right, yeah. So at Ben O'Brien. Ben F. O'Brien.

Ben F. O'Brien. Ben F. O'Brien. Yeah. My cohort, my partner, my co-pilot when Jesus calls out sick He's currently yawning Having a good time Mr. Michael Moran He's on Twitter as well

You know it At Michael Moran 10 That's where I'm at Better Robot Josh The podcast is at Dig Sesh Pod Go to digressionsessions.com Slash calendar And we have all of our upcoming shows

Come see us do improv Come see us do stand up And it has all of our upcoming shows. Come see us do improv. Come see us do stand-up. And it has all the locations and the prices for the shows and all that stuff. So please come see us. All right. I think we did it here, you guys. I think so. I think it's complete.

I felt good about it. Me too. All right. Thanks, guys. I love you guys. Love you too. Okay. It's all good.

I love that. Danza, but I was upset that we didn't talk to him at 8.15 when we thought it was scheduled. Right. 9.21 now, Chaz and AJ PLR. Luke is on the hotline. How dare you be mad at me? The phone was busy at 6.10 when I called. It was?

Yes, you're stupid. I've been calling since 6.10. I think you were mad at me? The phone was busy at 610 when I called. It was? Yes. I've been calling since 610. I think you called the wrong number. I think you called the wrong number, Tony. You're full of baloney. Hey, there's a Tony. Good morning, guys. Hey, good morning.

Welcome to the show. Now, just so you know, I'm on an exercise bike, so if I sound weird, it's only because I'm... Sure you are. Well, that's good. You've got to stay in shape. You're playing Mohegan Sun tonight and what? Up until Sunday, right? Sunday, actually.

Yeah. All right, look, we've got a guy on the other line here. He's the world's biggest Tony Danza fan. Really? In fact, he claims he got an email to you. He has a website dedicated to you, and he has paintings of you. And it's like his biggest wish to do the interview now with Tony Danza. Is it okay if we conference call Larry Huntley in?

What's his name? Larry Huntley. Okay. Do I know him? He claims that he got an email from you thanking him for the website. So you don't know him, but he's just a huge, huge fan. Yes. All right, let's give it a shot.

All right, this is going to be a dream come true for him. Tony, don't get weirded out. He's a really big fan. Right. I am not weirded out. Okay, good kid. All right, here we go. Mary?

Yes. You're on the phone with Tony Danza. Oh, wow. Hi, Larry. Hello? I said good morning, Larry. Oh, good morning. How are you doing?

I'm well, thank you. Yourself? Oh, very good, very good. Good. I'd like to ask you some questions about your album. Okay. Why did you choose these particular standards for your album okay why did you choose these these particular standards for your for your album well hey the truth you know when you have a an arranger I had a guy

named Artie Butler was one of the truly great arrangers in the world and you take him songs of things that you'd like to do if he gets excited about it then you do the songs and basically it was a collaboration between me and the arranger. Oh, wow. And how do you like being in your music career versus your acting career? Do you find it fulfilling, just as fulfilling? I love this. You know, I really do. I just played last night. We're in Maricopa, Arizona right now. And, you know, we did two shows last night. And we'll be at the Mohegan Sun starting Wednesday night. But I love this. I mean, it's a lot different than acting.

And yet there's a lot of similarities. But it does separate you from the rest of the group. Hey, Tony, it's a whole variety show, right? You're doing a little dancing, a little singing, a little comedy, right? It's a variety show like any old sense of the word. Not only is it, you know, a variety of things, but it's's a variety show like any old sense of the word. Not only is it a variety of things, but it's a real entertaining show. Is there any way you can work

Larry into the show? It's easy. Do you have like a pie scene or something? Like him in the face with it or something? I'm kidding. You don't hit Larry with a pie. I was thinking something totally different. Dancing girls, that kind of thing.

Right. Right. All right, Larry, any other questions for Tony Danza, your hero? Yeah. How do you like life on the road? Well, sometimes I really love it. Other times, you know, I miss my family. But, you know, I'm in the process now of getting ready to do a talk show from New York starting September 13th.

That's where Larry lives. Larry, you could go to be in the audience. Oh 13th. That's where Larry lives. Larry, you could go to be in the audience. Oh, wow. That's right, Larry. Every day, yeah. Be a guest, Larry. Yeah, this is a daytime talk show, right, Tony?

Yeah, daytime, right after Regis and Kelly in the morning on Channel 7. And I'm going to be moving to New York on a full-time basis. I mean, I'm going to be doing a lot of commuting because my daughter's a senior in high school this year. Next year, I mean, and we don't want to move her, obviously. Right. Does that mean you're moving back to Malvern? No, I'm going to move to... I'm going to live in the city. Okay. I'm going to live in the city and work in the city.

I got you. Going back to New York to do a show. I can't believe it. So, Larry wants to be in the audience for your first show. He's there. September 13th. Wow. Nice. Wow. You okay,, September 13th. Wow, nice. Wow. You okay, Larry? Yeah.

Deep breaths, Larry. Deep breaths. Go on to the bag, Larry. Larry, when did you become a big fan of mine? Thanks. Hello? Hello? Larry, when did you become?

You've got to speak up on the radio, Larry. Come on, baby. About three years ago, I became a big fan of watching you on Who's the Boss? Oh, well, thanks very much. I'm glad because I'm very proud of that show. Oh, good. I like it an awful lot. I also really like your character in Angels in the Outfield.

Oh, great. Thanks very much. I'm very proud of that movie, too. I think it has a lot of great messages, and it was certainly a lot of fun to make. We made that during the World Series. Yeah. It was a lot of fun to be out there playing baseball. Oh, that's great.

Well, thanks very much. I wish you very good luck. Do me a favor, get in touch with the show, and we'll see if we can get you in there. Oh, thank you. All right, Larry, hold on. Anything else you want to say to Tony? This is your opportunity.

You're on the phone with your hero. Oh, I just want to thank him for everything and for having such a wonderful career that's so fun to follow. Thanks very much. I appreciate it very much. No problem. All right, Larry. Oh, one other thing.

Find this guy. What the heck? You must have spent a lot of time trying to find this guy. Hey, Tony, can you say hi to Larry's girlfriend, Meredith? Meredith. Meredith, it's Tony Danza. How are you, dear? Perfect.

Nice. Thank you. Hey, Tony, hold on are you, dear? Perfect. Thank you. Hey, Tony, hold on one second, okay? Okay. And Larry, hold on. Tony, thank you very much for doing that. Hey, it's my pleasure. Hey, the guy's a big fan, you know? Yeah.

And, you know, you've got to serve with those big fans. Yeah, exactly. This is the guy who's buying everything you do. I love it. I mean, you can come out with Tony Danza napkins, and he's going to go out and buy them. Yeah. So he's the one. Right.

Is that what you thought when he said he saw angels in the outfield? Oh, so you're the one. Right. Thanks for buying the DVD. Hey, well, I look forward to this show on ABC in New York. I think that's a good thing. I mean, they're handing out these shows to people who shouldn't have shows, and I think you're a guy who can, you know,

cover all the bases. You can definitely do it, man, definitely. I'm going to give it a shot. I'm really going to give it a shot. It's quite a, you know, it's a big left turn in your life. Not only the move to New York and everything, but you like to give yourself as an actor, and all of a sudden you're a talk show host.

So it's going to be an interesting transformation, I think. Right. I have actually an IM over here, an instant message from Natalie, Miss Connecticut's business manager. And she wanted me to ask you if you're ever going to do the Miss America show again, because Connecticut loves you. Thanks, fellas. Thank you. I, I don't know, you know, like every year they just decide it isn't BBC show.

So I probably have a good shot now that I'm working with Disney. Right. Yeah. I thought you did a good job with that. You did. Definitely. Did you enjoy doing it? I really did. You know, at first Right. Yeah, I thought you did a good job with that. You did, definitely. Thanks very much. Did you enjoy doing it? I really did. You know, at first it was like, I don't know if I want to be Bert Parks, but I ended up having a blast. You know, 51, 50 girls, pretty interesting cast of characters. Right.

That's a very polite way to put that. That's nice. I circled it, and then I found it. All right, well, you're at Mohegan Sun tomorrow all the way through Sunday. If you get a chance, guys, come down, call me up, I'll get you in. It's called COMS. All right, good. I appreciate that.

And we want to have you on and talk about your show around September. I definitely will come back. All right, thanks, Tony. Okay, guys, have a great day. All right, you too. You right. Thanks, Tony. Have a great day. All right. You too, man. Thanks. Tony Danza.

So, Larry. Yeah. Hey, what'd you think? That was amazing. Thank you so much. Hey, no problem. Thank you. Were you nervous?

I was nervous. Yeah. Did you pee yourself? No, I didn't. No, I just was. I was just very nervous. I think maybe it was kind of. I didn't want to be so stupid.

I kind of felt like I was being stupid. You did fine. Yeah, you weren't being stupid at all. You did a good job. Thank you. All right, so hold on. We're going to get your address. We'll mail you this tape, okay?

Okay. All right, hold on. All right, so we made some dreams come true today. Jazz and AJ on 99.1 PLR.