The Dividend Cafe - A Letter To My Daughter as She Goes Off to College

Episode Date: August 14, 2026

Today's Post - https://bahnsen.co/3U1KSqA David Bahnsen opens the Friday Dividend Cafe with a personal episode, reading a verbatim letter to his daughter Sadie ahead of moving her into the University of Virginia. He praises her discipline and independence in earning admission while still enjoying friendships and fun, and urges her not to “peak in college” but to use the next four years as a springboard for real life. His core advice is to make good decisions, seize the day, choose friends who encourage her, and handle professors she disagrees with without seeking conflict. He offers brief dating guidance, emphasizes personal agency and responsibility in shaping the kind of life one has, reminds her to practice thrift with credit cards and apps, and closes by affirming unconditional love and support from her parents and faith. Links mentioned in this episode: DividendCafe.com TheBahnsenGroup.com

Welcome to the Dividing Cafe weekly market commentary focused on dividends in your portfolio and dividends in your understanding of economic life. Well, hello and welcome to the Friday Dividend Cafe. I'm your host, David Bonson, and I hope I adequately warned you or prepared you for the fact that we are going to be a little outside the box today. And I will remind you that last Friday's Dividendin Cafe offered 10. economic principles that we believe in. There's always, if you look at the Dividend Cafe Library on the homepage at Dividendacethafe.com, you're going to find our very recent exhaustive coverage about the Fed. The next two weeks, I'm going to be doing a deep dive into the dividend growth thesis with some very contemporary perspectives.

There's all sorts of economics, monetary policy, and the normal categories of things covered in the Dividing Cafe all over Dividendoncafe.com. And yet today, I did decide to go a little bit more personal. And some of you may recall that at the very beginning of the summer, I did something similar because I had given the commencement speech at my daughter's high school graduation, which happens to be at the high school that I'm a co-founder of and active trustee. and, you know, there were a lot of different boxes checked in terms of the kind of personal involvement with all of that. And I decided to put that speech into a Dividendon Cafe. And I understand

it wasn't about fiscal policy and it wasn't about P.E. ratios. But I think there was some life advice in there that I wanted Dividendant Cafe listeners and readers to have. And the feedback actually was very positive. And I didn't know what to expect out of that, to be very honest with you. But now what I am thinking about, first of all, it's been an unbelievably busy week, lots going on in markets. We kind of wrapped up an earnings season. I had a 24-hour business trip down to a spot that we're like going to be opening a new office in. And we have various just things within our team, like a lot of business activity going on. And when I looked at the calendar and saw that next week, I'm going to be out because my wife and I are bringing our daughter.

to school, to college, and she has her kind of, you know, move in to her dorm and then orientation at the University of Virginia in beautiful Charlottesville, Virginia. And I thought, well, you know what, I would like to churn today's Diven Cafe into a letter to Sadie, our daughter, as she gets ready to start college. So I think there's some life advice and some tangential, financial advice. My view of economics is always in forever that it is ultimately the study of human action and that the aim of economics is human flourishing, which is a synthesis of both material and sort of spiritual and immaterial needs and wants and so forth coming together. I have a wide definition of flourishing that encompasses things like what I'm covering today. But

I also understand that it isn't peer investment oriented. And so if that bothers any of you, I apologize in advance and we'll be back to our normal programming next week. All I'm going to do here today on the podcast and video is read the letter. I'm not going to improvise. I'm just going to, we never do that, by the way. The video is never verbatim of what the written content is in Divinity Cafe. I often have it in front of me and I'm looking at it as a sort of outline, but I'm kind of improvising

and the way I'm presenting the verbal recap of that week's given message in the Dividend Cafe. But today, because the whole, you know, purpose is a letter to Sadie, as she gets ready to start college, as Dividend Cafe's theme, I'm going to just deliver that verbatim to you here in the video in podcast. So without further ado, let's jump into the Dividendon Cafe. Dear Sadie, I wanted to send this letter to you ahead. of time because I don't know what to expect amidst next week's drop-off. Obviously, there will be some logistical challenges around the 20 boxes you have shipped out, the six suitcases you

are bringing, the four boxes and suitcases that mom and I are bringing for you and the eight other packages you asked us to bring that we're just not bringing. So I want you and your mom to be able to focus on the move-in itself Tuesday, and I imagine you will need some time to process the fact, the college dorm life does not facilitate the storage of 380 different outfit selections, but those things will work themselves out by Tuesday night, I'm sure. But even after all of that drama and the basic move in itself, you have the best helping you, and I'm not referring to me. And at the parent orientation, I just figured it would be a busy few days and I'd rather leave things open and flexible, hence this letter now. The first first thing,

The first thing I want to say before my boring dad advice stuff is that your mom and I are extremely proud of you. You have heard it already, but as you begin the next four years at the University of Virginia, I just want to repeat what should be clear. You did this. It was your work, your discipline, and your fortitude that got you here. The 7% admissions rate of Virginia is what it is. You refuse to settle, and the discipline you applied to your high school years is something I will never forget the rest of my life. but I want to be clear that you maintained such a focus on your studies and that you achieved

this acceptance without sacrificing the real point of high school, the friendships, formation, and fun that the whole thing is supposed to be about is what your mom and I care about. A lot of kids got into some pretty prestigious universities with their parents pushing them each step of the way towards the end of higher education. and you never had that. Your mom and I never cared a lick about what school you got into. We just wanted you to be the best you could be, to enjoy the moment and to develop and form as a person.

And you did it. You really did. I know some moments were stressful, and I know AP statistics was not exactly something you took for fun, but I really feel that you enjoyed your high school experience in the way I've always wanted for you and your brothers and did not succumb to the high school is for college admissions idol that so many people succumbed to these days. And that brings me to the first thing I want to say. You know how much I criticize people who peaked in high school.

But I actually have spent far more time in my life criticizing people who peaked in college. Admission to a great university is nice, but it is all done before your life is a quarter way through, Lord willing. All at once, I really want to be. want you to enjoy the heck out of the next four years, as you did the last four, and yet use the experience as a springboard to a truly fulfilling and rewarding life. I am mystified by people I still meet who are well, well into their adult life. I mean people even older than your old man that are still obsessed with that college admission thing from 30 to 40 years prior. You have gotten into a great school, and I believe you have an opportunity to have an incredible experience there,

and then I think you get to live real life. And if your journey so far is any indication, you are going to enjoy each moment along the way. The advice I have for you for your college years, it's pretty simple. Make good decisions and seize the day. Enjoy the moments that come your way socially and personally. Make meaningful friendships,

some of which should last the rest of your life. But that good decisions thing should be. not be overlooked. On one hand, the college age presents decision opportunities that, on average, should be less consequential than some of the decisions adults have to make when they are older in life. But on the other hand, the decisions are no longer titillings. Real life stuff is on the line, and I just ask you to do what you have always done. Be smart, be vigilant, and be responsible. Yes, I want you to study and take the schoolwork seriously, but I barely have to be to say that to you. I know you were going to take the classes seriously, and I know you're going

to learn a lot. I hope you pick friends that fill your cup, that don't act like idiots, and then encourage you to be your best self. And I hope you and these friends parlay your college experience into one of great memories and of great personal development. The academic side is the least of my concerns for you. Speaking of which, I've already told you of some of the great professors, UVA has, and some of the knuckleheads. Every university today has some that I believe fit better into a European Union cabinet post or running an NGO somewhere. Actually, many of them are only in academia because they couldn't get one of those two jobs.

Do not feel the need to argue with these folks. If they come after you, that is one thing, but you don't need to go after them. You already learned more from age three through 19 than the 1960s radicals would even comprehend. It is okay to hear things you disagree with. And since you are pre-med, I am not too worried about an economics professor trying to deprogram you, but you know what to do if they step. And yes, text me the funniest things they say because I don't think Saturday Night Live gets material as fresh for mockery

as what gets said in some of these college classrooms. You got this. I'm not going to turn this letter into dating advice. You already know that no boy deserves you, and I just want to make sure they know that too. Now, I think every dad says something like that, and it's very sweet and cliche for them to do so, but it's different when I say it to you. They don't deserve you.

All I ask is that for the love of God, you never, ever act dumb to get a boy's attention. You are smart, you are beautiful, and it is not your fault that you are living in a moment of history that many 20 to 29-year-olds have the maturity of a zero-to-nine-year-old. But that is not universally true, and again, it will all work out. But yes, remember my advice on this one. You're at 10 and you should be treated like one. I want you to understand that there is absolutely nothing more pressing right now in the psyche and soul of our nation than this. 99% of what is going to matter to the kind of life we have is within our control.

And no one seems to understand that anymore. We are all so unbelievably focused on surrendering our own agency and responsibility that we have bought into this idea that our fate is out of our hands, and it is not true. You know it is not true, and I beg you to live with this understanding. Your life will be fulfilling if you choose for it to be so. I know what the response often is from those critical of that mentality,

but please know what I did not say. I did not say that 99% of what happens to us in our lives is about what we do. A whole lot of things happen to us. many people have different things that hit them that are far, far worse than the things that hit others. And many of these things are totally out of our control. I am not suggesting that we can control 99% of what happens to us, because I'm not even sure we can control 1% of what happens to us. What I am sure, what I have said, is that the kind of life we're going to have is within our control, because that's an entirely different thing than that which happens to us.

the kind of life we are going to have is about our response, our attitudes, our behaviors, our adaptation, our resilience, and yes, our decisions. In whatever difficulties that come, may your own agency shine through. May you cast the vote on the kind of life you're going to have and never ever give that vote to someone else. I would give some more practical advice in closing out this letter that is more conducive to a financial commentary, but I don't want to sound like a broken record. A credit card, which is what Apple pay is connected to, and the Starbucks app, and the Equinox membership, and the Uber account, and the DoorDash app, and the Amazon account, and anything

that takes money as payment is something that our after-charges run has to be paid for. There is a part of me that thinks a pre-med student who got into University of Virginia. with a 4.5 high school GPA might actually know this, but sometimes your mom and I wonder. You have had a good, Sadie, but let's remember thrift and self-restraint are character virtues, just like discipline and tenacity are. You got this. The final thing I have to say is not just about college or the next four years of your life, and it is not just from me. I know I am speaking for your mom when I say this too. please know every second of your life, every second of your time at school that you are loved

unconditionally. And I swear to God I will have your back in any way I can for the rest of your life. There are only three people who I know love you unconditionally. One is your heavenly father who loves you perfectly. But the other two are your mom and dad and we will walk through a concrete wall for you. We really will. So with that said, baby girl, go who. unless they're playing Duke and basketball. And may this next phase of your life be all that God has for you. We are so, so proud of you.

Your dad. Thanks for listening. Thanks for reading. Thanks for watching. Another Dividendon Cafe. I look forward to being back with you next week after we have moved our baby girl into college. Have a wonderful weekend.

Bye-bye. The Bonson Group is a group of investment professionals registered with Hightower Securities LLC, member FINRA and SIPC, with Hightower Advisors LLC, a registered investment advisor with the SEC. Securities are offered through Hightower Securities LLC. Advisory services are offered through Hightower Advisors, LLC. This is not an offer to buy or sell securities.

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