The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 102 - The Past Times with James Fritz
Episode Date: November 28, 2024Dave Anthony picks a newspaper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds. This week they are joined by comedian James Fritz. Get tickets to James special taping on Dec 6th in Chica...go. No Dollop this week due to thanksgiving. Redbubble Merch
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All right, everybody.
Welcome to the Past Times Podcast.
Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave
Anthony.
I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week.
James Fritz.
James?
I've heard of newspapers.
Fan favorite, James.
Yeah?
Oh yeah.
Not host favorite.
Remember we had you back like right away twice?
It was absurd.
People were like, stop.
That's how much they love you.
James, you are recording your special very shortly
in Chicago on December 6th.
Correct.
People can go on your Instagram or your Twitter.
Yeah.
Are you still Fritz's dead on all of those?
All of them except blue sky
because I'm trying to be more positive.
It's just. Fritz is alive. What is it? Fritz is mid. all of those? All of them except blue sky because I'm trying to be more positive.
Fritz is alive? What is it? Fritz is mid.
What are you calling your special? Do you know? I was thinking about calling it old man yells at crowd but I'm not sure. That might be a little too cute for me. That's uh that's spot on. I went
and saw James run his show a little practice practice run, and it was very funny.
Well, James, we love you.
He's definitely going to be arrested.
James is so goddamn funny in a way that I think, it's our audience's sense of humor.
So, we highly recommend if you're under five hours.
No dummies.
You should try to see him. No dummies.
Yeah, go see him.
That could be a good title too.
Let's just support James.
Yeah, but it's at the Lincoln Lodge in Chicago.
So you can always go to thelinkinlodge.com, go to any of my socials.
I'm talking.
Fritz is dead or Fritz is alive.
Two shows, 8 and 10 PM.
Two shows.
Friday night.
Now, do you encourage people?
Are you doing Twickets?
Can people go see those?
I don't know what that is.
OK, James, listen, our producer is a psychopath.
But one thing he will not let go.
He would not let go the fact that we had to ask for a skunk update
because the last time you were here, you were in skunk hell.
Don't even say skunk's under the house.
And you were being blamed. Oh, yeah. For the skunk hell. Don't even say. Skunks under the house. The word. And you were being blamed for the skunks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So what ended up happening with that?
Oh, I forgot about the...
Yes, the landlord said...
Our producer did not.
Were you throwing a party late the night before that could have irritated the skunks that
we allowed to live under your house?
That's how it works.
Yeah.
So what was the conclusion?
Supposed to get a flute, and walk down the street.
I didn't know that.
They finally got them out.
And then it took us another three weeks
before we could move into the house because we had to air it.
Are you kidding?
Dude, I found out there is different.
I don't know what I said.
There's different kinds of skunk sprays.
Apparently, this was not like.
Are you doing this? I'm a hillbilly. I know. I know skunk. This was a smell.
I mentioned like the firefighters came by because like it smelled that toxic.
And they were like, they were like, we had to evacuate the house at 530. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, dude.
Like you couldn't breathe. It felt like chemical warfare. And like the firemen showed up all being like, oh, look at this little pussy
Called us cuz of the skunks. He's like we get calls about skunks all the time
He walked into the house and ran out
Seconds and was like you can't live here and I'm like, no. Oh my god. We were we were out of the house for
a month
Where did you live with friends?
House of Discox, friends?
The show?
Dave, you know, friends, they're people you have long relationships with.
No, Dave is.
I don't know.
But did did everything smell when you came back?
Like, well, thank God it wasn't winter like completely.
Thank God, you know. But yeah, we had to leave the windows open,
clean all the clean all the floors with like ammonia.
Will you ever eat skunk again?
If you fry it.
OK, OK.
Well, that's a terrible story.
Yeah. There you go. Burns, our producer.
Now shut up.
But the craziest thing is that you didn't put it in your act,
which it makes me wonder if you're a good comedian.
Oh, you want me to do animal humor?
All right, I'm out of here.
I got Rogan. I got I said I have Rogan after this.
I saved the animal stuff for Rogan.
You ever see a fucking skunk?
Fucking spray, man.
Have you ever eaten a wombat's butt?
Joe, some skunk smell worse than other skunks.
Jamie, can you look that up?
Oh, yeah, that's the thing.
Like someone told me there were two.
I think it was like a rape spray because it was like mating season.
They have a separate.
And it was definitely your house.
Well, when the cat's away. By the way, special title.
Special title. Don't shy away from it. All right, James, you're a returning champion,
so you know what we're going to do. We're going to guess what year this paper's from.
You get to go first. I'm not going gonna get into why, but there's been some.
Sounds like you are getting into it.
You're implying. No, no, no.
Why don't you go first, crybaby?
Yeah, you go cry it up.
Go ahead.
What's your little cry, crybaby?
You know what we could do, James?
Your camera's too good.
I see your, I can see your eyes watering.
Go ahead, say your little number.
I have skunks. Um, we could uh,
We could go at the same time. That's never happened. Oh, okay. Want to do that? Yeah
All right. Let's pick a year each in our head
You know, it's 1700 1800 1900 is possible
Okay, so not the future
Well, you can do the future. It's just
Yeah, do the future. I mean, yes, please do the future.
I'll lose my mind if you do.
All right. On the count of three, let's say you're one, two, three,
two, two, two, two, five.
James Wins.
Two, two, two, two, two.
So two's baby. So twos, baby.
Twos all the way down.
Did you do four twos or five twos?
I think he did four.
I might have said five.
It's five now.
Five.
I'm an optimist.
We're going to be around as a planet.
All right.
So Dave, what was it?
Is it the year 2000?
22,222. 22,222.
22,222, yes, or 1935.
Well, it's 1921, so James wins.
So I'm closer.
It's crazy.
That's how time works.
Gareth, did you have any twos in your guess?
No.
And James, did you have any twos in your guess?
I had hella twos, Dave.
And the answer has how many twos?
I forgot already. 1921.
So it's one, two. So James wins.
Yep. That's how the game is played.
It isn't. December 9th, 1921.
It's a Friday.
It is the Achille Press in Achille, Oklahoma.
Okay.
Achille like the heel.
Yeah, I mean, it's A-C-H-I-L-L-E.
So that's Achille.
Yeah.
I mean strange.
I've just never heard it.
The singular is so weird.
It was founded by a one legged man.
Oklahoma is rough.
It's probably Achille knowing them.
Achille. But who cares because Oklahoma fuck off. was founded by a one legged man. Oklahoma was probably a keel knowing them. He'll.
But who cares?
Because Oklahoma, fuck off.
Sure. OK.
Also, you can see us there.
We'll be there in March.
So fuck on Tulsa.
And that's how you promote. Yeah.
Make them want it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Negle. Yeah.
Let's go.
Akil, Akili press page one to die on the guillotine.
Wow. That's nice for 1921.
A haiku.
To this is out of Paris, France. It is.
Guillotine, huh?
All the way from Paris to Oklahoma. This story.
Yeah. Indescribable scenes arose in the courtroom at Versailles
when the jury returned its verdict, condemning Landru,
the French bluebeard to the guillotine.
You said 1921 or did you say 1421?
I said 1921. OK.
I'd be out.
Wait, is that two names or like a stage name?
I am.
I bet it's a real name.
It's probably just his last name.
Four women fainted and many others rushed forward trying to get to the prisoner.
When they heard the verdict, Landrew, when he.
Sorry, I just.
It's fine.
I gave him a different pronoun.
When he heard the verdict, Landru rose from his chair
impassively and bowed.
Was it a bow or is it his head readying?
French to the end.
He twirled his mustache and took a big drag
off of a goulash.
I bid you a dear.
Farewell.
Salut, salut, salut.
He's probably trying to look up a lady's skirt.
Come on.
I'm a damn one more beaver sniff before I go to the sky.
It's smelling salt, no?
Okay.
Trust me, Bluebeard knows what the ocean smells like.
He said nothing as he was led away in the midst of a torrent of mingled applause and hisses.
Imagine clapping.
Imagine hissing.
Oh, he was a serial killer.
He was a serial killer. Okay. Yeah, he was a serial killer. He was a serial killer. OK, yeah, he's a serial killer.
OK, let's see.
But he only killed French people.
He's seven seven women.
And but the true victim numbers suspected to be higher.
So, yeah.
Oh, man, they've always done that then, huh?
Cops, they're just like, yeah, we'll pin the rest on this guy
Yeah, there's more yeah. Yeah sure. There's a lot more. Oh, yeah four kids and a wife ah
What's wrong? Wait? When are we gonna start talking about the men? Thank you. It's always women and children
Well one of his kids were hello said one of his kids was arrested for and his wife for complicity
in thefts from his victim.
Da da. So it's a family job.
Sort of. They were just like, OK, dad.
Like, what would you do if my dad was a murderer?
I'd be like, yeah, he holds up six severed heads and like,
you guys coming with me tonight? Yeah.
Yeah. Who wants to go to Six Flags?
I mean, you know, you a lot of kids follow their parent into their profession.
Are you suggesting that I killed someone?
And if it is what you're suggesting, are you suggesting that it's someone
that you know well?
And if it is, are you suggesting that I killed your dad?
Yes. And no, that's would you be upset if I killed your dad? Yes.
And would you be upset if I killed your dad?
Yes, I love my father more than anything in this world. He was my hero.
And you think I took him?
You think I took him from you?
Yeah, he was. Yeah, I do.
I think he took my dad and I think he was my hero.
And his prime.
My everything. He was my world I think he was my hero. And his prime. My everything.
He's my world.
My daddy was my ride.
Oh, wait, wait. He's your world.
He's your world.
Wait, I got the next question.
Dave, do you like the world?
No, it drank too much and brought a date to Thanksgiving.
Hold on, James, you've just got to see.
You've got to see.
Just when we talk about losing a legend.
Wow.
That's my dad.
You know what I'm saying?
He looks like he ate Colonel Sanders.
Gareth is showing a picture.
How red is my dad, though?
That sucks.
Is it that, or is how white are you? I'm from from the south and that's the reddest man I've ever seen.
It looks like if a pimple became Scottish and drank.
The bloody Q-tip.
He's Irish.
He's Irish.
Oh, whatever.
Okay, by the way, great opening for an Oklahoma paper.
Yeah.
What a stra- I get it because you are like, that's fucking nuts.
But also, like, you got anything?
And all the way from France.
Yeah. Well, you want some local news?
Yeah. Love local news.
You know what? It starts local.
I always say, right. Right.
Got wheat championship.
Go back to international.
Bozeman, Montana, man.
It's 10,000 prize. We went from serial killer to wheat. Yeah, Bozeman Montana man. It's 10,000 prize.
We went from serial killer to wheat.
Yeah, that's right. It's Bozeman Bozeman News.
They're literally right next to each other.
Yeah, it's very true. Next door.
What are we going to talk about?
Bozeman? I'm sorry. I'll wait. Thank you.
America wrested the wheat championship from Canada
when George Kraft of Bozeman, Montana was crowned 1921
Wheat King at the International Grain and Hay Show.
Wow, by the way, the Grain and Hay Show is really just so boring.
It's still. No, it's great.
And who are you wearing?
Yeah, people come for the grain, but they stay for the hay.
That's right. That's right.
Craft takes the title from J.C. Mitchell of Saskatchewan, who had it for two years.
A made up place.
Loser.
Two years.
Two years.
Dude went back to back.
Yeah.
Still USA, baby.
Wait, what is the contest?
What do they do to win?
Jesus Christ, James.
It's a grain off
Okay, the wheat championship. They dress in grains or like he's the wheat champion Does he put does he put on like a play about wheat or does he just grow the most talking about?
Hey, bitch, they got the most amount of it that they could just think why don't you step on that? You know, you know
They could just think, why don't you step on that? You know, you know.
All right.
Mitchell was Mitchell was the runner up this year.
Crafts Wheat tested
sixty three point six pounds to the bushel and Mitchell's wheat tested
sixty four point seven pounds.
Smaller colonels giving the greater weight.
It's like a fishing competition. Is it?
They're weighing the wheat.
Is it a timed event with a bushel or is it just who has the most ambitious bushel?
I think it's the most weight per bushel.
But couldn't you just make a big bushel?
I like a big bushel.
Is it becoming obvious that this podcast hates the farmers?
Maybe I'm old school, but I love a big bushel.
I'll tell you what, I like those 70s bushels.
Yeah, nice 70s bushels.
You get that weight.
Exhibitors pointed with.
To you fucking.
Animals. I didn't say that.
Don't be mad. Both involved.
James was saying it.
He's drinking booze. My daddy was a pervert.
So that was way too much joy.
Canadian exhibitors pointed with pride to the fact that the winning wheat
was grown in the Gallatin Valley of Montana
from part of a prize sample grown by Weger Seeger Wheeler of Canada.
Weger Seeger, Weger Seeger Wheeler.
Seeger Wheeler.
I saw them open for Steeler's Wheel.
Yeah.
This is like a foreign language.
Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's what Bob Seeger called his bus.
But it's more importantly,
it's a foreign language that you don't care about.
Yeah it's not on Duolingo it's on Donolingo am I right folks? December 6th Lincoln Lodge 2
show should hang out. Oh this is exciting John Lucas is again the holder of the Grand Championship Oats Sweepstakes. The oats weighed 60, 46.4 pounds to the bushel.
Yeah, that's absolutely a lot.
It is a big amount.
And I guess you guys are asking about the corn.
I mean, yeah, I was thinking that. Thank you.
J.W. Workman of Maxwell, Illinois, won the corn sweepstakes.
Of course, a workman.
OK, J.W.
Workman. J.W.
Workman. How lazy is this novelist?
That's like that's like what I bought weed from John Q.
Not a cop.
He was his was declared by the judges to be the best exhibited in history,
winning over 15000 corn growers.
The fuck does that mean?
I have no idea what any of this means.
It's really crazy.
In history.
Fuck yourself, farmers.
Though, Dollop is now at war with farmers.
Yeah. Just like the country.
Wait, even even small, small farmers?
You betcha. Especially small farmers.
All three of them. Yeah.
There you go. Yep. Yep.
That's right.
Well, we're a Monsanto, bro.
Big Monsanto Bar.
Yeah, we love that.
I mean, you know, well,
R.K. Junior's going to take care of all of it, don't you guys?
Hell yeah. He's about to go wild.
Who is that you're doing?
No, the guy with a frog.
That was Nixon. Oh, yeah.
I thought it was a really good show.
I thought it was that guy. Oh, yeah.
R.F.K. Jr. Yeah, that's good.
That's good. Ladies and gentlemen, the Beatles.
Now, just to be clear, you're here.
So Ed Sullivan is Richard Nixon.
No, that was R.F.K. Jr.
Oh, OK, that was our KJ. Oh
Okay, that's right. I let people know that Nixon hosted a talk show after he left the White House
All right, that's how I'm gonna pad the hour I'm gonna do
Yeah, that's so thin bit for 10 minutes. Check it out. Chicago, December 6th, two shows to show.
To observe live at home week.
Live at home week will probably wait back.
Was it that most weeks?
Yeah.
Live at home week probably will be observed in Oklahoma within the near future, it was
announced by J.A. Whitehurst, president of the State Board of Agriculture.
The movement originated last year by Whitehurst has spread to many southern states and is
being observed this fall.
It is probable that Governor Robertson soon will issue a proclamation urging the observance. The purpose of the movement is to encourage the growing of table
essentials at home and the patronizing of home products.
Just another lockdown they're forcing.
They want me to stay at home for a week.
I'm going to get my kid polio.
Fuck them.
I mean, I don't even know what to say about this.
I don't get it.
It's just trying to get people to grow.
It's very it's very agrarian.
Well, and not to speak ill of my people, but I'm not shocked
that sitting at home for a week spread to the south.
They're like, I mean, the South took to it like a duck to water.
Lazy fuckers.
I love the idea.
South is great.
Just trying to appease these West Coast people.
I mean, this is what AI says.
You're trying to get people to your show in Chicago.
From the South.
This is what AI says, which're trying to get people to your show in Chicago. From themself.
This is what AI says, which is, I guess, what comes up when I search now.
Can't turn it off. We all love it.
Yeah, I love it so much.
A stay at home week refers to a period of seven days where someone deliberately chooses to spend most or all of their time at home, not going out to work, school or other social engagement.
The governor declares a state of depression.
Mandatory malaise.
Oh, I love it.
I would love that if it was like, you have to, because it removes the guilt.
It really was what, like, when like when I mean during 2020 or whatever
I was like I left the house so little recognized my privilege but was also like boy. This is pretty good
I was eating bats. I was like, let's get another one cooking and no one was posting crowd work videos
You didn't have to compare yourself to anyone else's career
It was like it was like the career was done.
Have a good podcast, boys.
Have a good podcast.
Not you, not you.
No, Matt Reif, the bad you.
Yeah, bad.
Wait, can you sue Matt Reif for stealing your essence, a la Dane Cook?
I mean, as what Dane Cook accused Steve Burda.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do it to life.
Waiting outside of his show to subpoena him.
You're good at crowd work and you're handsome and you've had minimal face work.
He's bad at crowd work.
Weird looking.
I think you've got a case.
I'm going to redo my job.
That's that's when I start with the job.
They say
Just get that mandible going first go big yeah
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OK, sorry. So I don't have to say about this.
Last Saturday was the first opportunity this editor had of seeing a game of basketball.
Wow. Holy shit.
Can you imagine being invited to a sport the first time?
And it's fucking you're like, like wow who came up with this?
Milton Bradley, I
Mean, well imagine
Like imagine unveiling it like it is your hour like guys. I'm working on a game
If it was invented in 1891, I was gonna say yeah, Naismith was yeah late
invented in 1891. I was going to say, yeah, Naismith was, yeah, late 1800s.
So that's 30 years.
Yeah.
And he invented it in Canada, right?
So it probably took that long.
Did he?
I believe, but I'm wrong about a lot of things.
What a fucking asshole.
Why would you invent it here?
Hey, don't worry.
Don't worry.
Don't worry.
We got them grain wise.
Let them have their little score. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha nine of Bushnell, so it's town be town. It's a serious deal. Absolutely.
Judging from the costumes worn and the costumers, it's insane.
I'm going as an astronaut.
First guy who dunked. Yeah. Yeah.
David Crockett passes it to the astronaut, the man dressed like a big cat, tosses it
to the Rice Krispie guy, Rice Krispie guy dribble, dribble, dribble back to the astronaut,
astronaut's got it, he's taking the shot clocks down to three, two, pass it to the big cat,
the big cat Dung Sand!
Oh, that was a great, and now the guy who's in a windstorm is taking it out.
Time out, coach octopus calls a time out.
He wants to talk it over with his boys.
See what's going on over there.
Maybe you can draw something up.
A man dressed up like a referee is waving them over.
Trying to call the game.
I'll tell you what, letting the other team dress up
like referees was a bad decision.
This game is absolute pandemonium.
Oh, I've got a technical.
Keep in mind, I'm just a little boy with a deep voice.
I've been smoking since I was two.
I've been smoking since I was two years old.
I just thought this was a place to get candy,
and here we are.
I'm not even talking into a microphone.
This is a big novelty lollipop.
Man, see, you should always do material.
You don't need to riff.
No, you just riff with the crowd.
You can just talk to the crowd.
God damn.
Coach octopus.
Coach octopus wants to talk it over with his squad.
Calling time out with eight arms.
He's trying to just try to draw it up on the board, but accidentally
keeps erasing it with one of his tentacles.
Oh, man. Judging from the costumes worn and the exceedingly cold,
windy and disagreeable weather.
Oh, my God. I pictured it inside.
No, it's not inside.
That makes the costumes even funnier.
We're still figuring it out.
The cat's having a lot of trouble seeing the rain is really welling up those iPads.
The cat's having a lot of trouble seeing the rain is really welling up those iPads. Doesn't even look like Santa Claus is going to see any playing time this game.
He is sopping over there.
His beard's off.
That's a heavy costume in this weather, boys.
Heavy costume.
We first imagined the inmates of the home for the mentally afflicted had escaped and
had taken a keel.
Boy, nice nice opener editor.
But we later learned that that was the customary decorations
or lack of decorations usually worn.
Some kind of decorative.
What is he talking about?
Did the word uniform not exist in this?
He doesn't know what it he doesn't know what a uniform is. I understand maybe waiting on basketball, but not understanding
What's like the same out there were wars before this game?
Look at these guys
Parading around in their soldier costume. They're out there in small drapes or whatever you call it
Boy this is embarrassing they're all wearing the same ensemble.
I wouldn't be caught dead looking like another man, much less four.
Which a lot of them will be.
In this cold.
Look at them dribbling that strange globe.
What is that?
A weird triangle?
We don't have a word.
I don't know circle. I don't know circle.
I don't know uniform.
There's certain words I will never grasp.
I'm starting to think people will realize I'm fully an alien who ate a man.
And I bring you basket brawl.
Anyway, they're throwing the rounded square at each other.
One more time.
Another number on the board.
Means nothing to me.
I no clue what that is,
but they seem to be changing shapes on the big light board.
They seem to count in some sort of logical order.
I know the universe is full of variants.
These numbers are-
The zebra men are talking again.
They're bouncing the rounded square on the floor part.
No. Oh, my God. I really thought you were reading
where to go. I was like, Jesus.
The less the adornment, the greater the observation
on the part of the audience.
The game was a defeat for Achilles.
Can you read that 11 to to read that sounds OK?
The less the less.
So he's talking about the decorations, the less the adornment, the greater the observation on the part of the audience.
That's one of the worst writing sentences I've ever heard in my fight.
It is a mystery.
I think he's saying they're not wearing very much and it's cold out and the less they wear, the more it gives people more ability to watch it, to see it.
They could see the game better if you have less on.
I'll tell you what, I'd love this game if these fellas were all naked.
They'd get a real Bronx cheer out here at Achilles.
And this weather, I'd have the biggest penis in town.
I like seeing athletes who shave me body-wise in cold weather so I feel good.
I'm an announcer.
I'll tell you what, Jim, I wish these guys just had their penises flopping into one another.
Well, wait till summer basketball.
I don't know if I legally will be allowed to.
So the game was a defeat for Achille with a score of 11 to 2.
11 to what a match!
11 to 2!
They haven't scored a basket for an hour.
It's fucking pathetic.
It's like early Duke basketball.
On the next court where the Bushnell and Achille girl nines, the score was 11 to 0 in favor
of Achille.
Jesus Christ.
We were told it was a beautiful game, but the most beauty we saw and could understand was the girls from Bushnell who were certainly
peaches in quotations and their demeanor was ladylike throughout.
They failed to score, but we would like to apologize every time they made a basket.
Sorry.
The men are still better.
Even though they want the men scored two.
They won a weapon to zero.
Give it up for your Achille men's basketball team.
And also these girls did something.
And they did double duty as cheerleaders for the boys.
Come on, girls.
Cheer, cheer, cheer.
Don't be afraid.
All the boys are naked.
It helped get the crowd on their side.
They failed the score, but we would like to see them here again
so that we might attend another beautiful game.
Now it's beautiful.
Now it's beautiful.
It's creepy.
Following that game, the Kailera boys, first nine and the first nine of Akil went into action.
Each team bedecked in the least possible amount of clothing
to get by in a semi-barbarous country. What's going on? What's going on with this guy wanting
to not have clothes on? I mean, I guess we should just take a minute and just be like,
it's nice that the women, he wasn't like, get them naked. Yeah. Oh, you think, oh,
tops only for the girls. Oh, this man who's obsessed with fashion wasn't into the women trying to
shot. They just didn't have a fashion critic in newspapers at this time yet.
But he's like, get out the court, sports ball game, and I'm going to nail it.
All right. He makes a sign.
Let's see their penises.
So who are you wearing?
But he just keeps reading the sign like that.
Boys should be nude.
We can see your sign, Jeff.
We're all saying the same thing.
We're not.
You're just reading the sign you made.
Let the boys run into each other crutch first.
How many signs do you have?
Let's bruise those balls.
Can you stop calling the uniforms outfits?
Oh, Just lose.
I got the best way to do that is to get them off the boys.
Let's see the dogs.
I've got somewhere I'd like to score.
He's like Bob Dylan out there in the video.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Now, come on.
Let's see the dogs. Let's have a sniff of the penis.
Let's see the balls bounce. Not the one in their hands.
OK, you're not allowed at the games anymore.
Can you at least read the girls score?
Yeah, one number to six.
They want to love and he's got a big gongs.
They should spread their butts too. Come on.
I think the boys are cheating.
Have them spread their assholes.
What?
For contraband.
The press can recommend the game as one possessing much that is commendable
and especially the scope of exercise and headwork.
I got some headwork for the boys, too.
God damn it.
What?
Get out of here!
What?
He's in, like, that bush outfit the guy used to wear
on the one to catch the predators.
He's just out in the woods, just like,
they can't kick me out.
But it's like an amalgamation of all the outfits,
like one arm's a kitty.
Yeah. What? Was that a cat octopus astronaut? like an amalgamation of all the outfits like one arm's a kitty.
What was that? A cat octopus astronaut Santa
Santa Santa.
The addition was called to the residence of J.C.
Bane Monday evening and was presented with been initials and a last name.
There's been four. Yeah, but that's it's like their version of what the New York Times does.
Well, they call everybody Mr.
But he uses I thought you're going to say lies.
It's it's a style, man. It's a style. All right. Cool.
To the residents of J.C.
Bain Monday evening and was presented with a fine mess of spare ribs.
Well, wait, wait, the tone of this writer completely changed with and was presented with a fine mess of spare ribs.
Wait, the tone of this writer completely changed with fine mess of spare ribs.
It's like a fucking southerner editor
took over the last line of that.
It's like if Golden Corral had a paper.
Like this is what your menu is.
Are you like, do you hear the news? It doubles as a bib.
It's a big paper.
Just like what you're reading under your rib pile.
Interesting.
Um, uh, we won the Weed Olympics.
Uncle Jim has killed three hogs so far this season,
and they were as fine as any we have seen
This is like the worst man song ever
Uncle Jim has killed three hogs and it's the worst we've seen
Just read old newspapers
So imagine someone figuring that out like they're in a room like, hold on, wait, put this paper up.
Virgil Cain was a name and I served on the family train.
That works.
The man to the men's basketball team has less decoration.
The man to the men's team had less decorations.
Damn.
Oh, my God.
Every band.
Here comes Santa octopus blowing whistles at the zebras and blowing them back.
Bluebeard on the guillotine.
I love the band.
They're stupid as shit.
Yeah.
I love the band for stupid as shit. Yeah, yeah.
The donation to this scribe was not a surprise as we had been anticipating
such a treat as we well knew his generous disposition,
but we nevertheless are thankful for the eats.
The eats. That's just a article.
It's a crazy. This guy grew up to start Arby's.
Yeah, it is a crazy article.
Yeah, manic.
A guy problematic and manic.
One more for the Klan.
And still, oh, the worst band song.
The night they drove a little Dixie down was enough. But one more for the clan.
What is covered in rib fingerprints?
Ted, did you eat your supper in your clan outfit?
Yeah, but that's just because this is like a napkin.
And you just go ahead and wipe the hands off.
Well, they get covered in Cheetos.
Well, I won Halloween basketball, so I got all these spare ribs.
I'm just coming from a game.
They wouldn't let me play because of the connotation.
But it's a great costume.
That's what I said.
Plus, I believe is why it should be in charge of it.
All right. OK.
We're good. What?
Elicit liquor dealer and the recently organized Ku Klux Klan are enemies.
Oh, man, I wish I missed when the words recently organized described the Klan.
Yeah. Remember when the Klan was fresh.
Get your fresh Klan here.
Yeah. Backward, you're like, this won't last.
Yeah, right, right, right.
The Bible. This is evidenced by the action
of both parties in this locality.
Since the clan mailed letters
to several alleged bootleggers,
their preparations to leave this section
have been evidenced and scarcely any drunken parties
have been arrested by the police department
since the organization of the clan.
It's so fucked up.
It's also back when the Klan could write letters.
Dear sir.
Now they're just like, hit me up at K-Man.
Yeah.
From reports, the great majority of the city of Wilson
is behind the action of the Klan in ousting the lawbreaking element
from this community. Just to clarify, we support the clan.
Look, I mean, that is amazing when the clan is like your your Batman.
You're just like, thank God, bad clan.
Bad clan. Thank God you're here.
He opens up his closet. There's 30 robes.
This life chose me.
I started the clan because my daddy thrived.
And he killed a street man on the street and I watched it and I was like, I want to do
that.
Father kills someone's parents in front of me and I knew I needed a life of taking those less privilege
than I and making their lives worse.
You sure you're...
What?
I'm a superhero.
Come on, I'm the good guy.
Good.
Beard Scoutmaster recipe.
Beer?
Beard.
Thanks for giving everyone my password.
I use for everything.
By the way, if Beard Scout Master Recipe was a website, you would never hit Jump to Recipe
Faster.
Boy, this guy's really going on a manifesto up top here.
So I can I jump to recipe and another thing
mentioned to be able to live with boy. All right. Skip to jump to that recipe.
A bowl full of unbounded love for boys.
What the what? What the fuck is happening?
That could go so many ways.
I'm seeing it going one way and it's troubling.
Oh, God. Trump's cabinet is out of control.
Add one pint of absolute faith in American institutions.
Oh, no. Mix it with.
Oh, I hate this.
Honey, do we have any more faith in American institutions?
In the cabinet?
There's a little less.
I see Cardamom, dill.
I can mix it with some water to make it last longer,
but it ain't going to be as thick.
We don't have a lot of these.
Mix it with a cupful of milk of human kindness.
Honey.
Who milks the human?
I've milked the human.
Did that show?
That's some kind of human.
Add to tea cup fulls of American pioneer blood.
I'll be back.
Yeah.
One tablespoon of thrills, one tablespoon
of Indian traditions.
Tea cup full of the vigor and grit of the Puritans.
Oh my God.
A tea cup full of the chivalry of the Cavaliers,
a court of the idealism of Thoreau,
one heaping cup full of sentiment,
the whole seasoned well with patriotism.
Character, grit and hardship, stir with the golden rules,
sprinkle well with the stars and stripes and serve hot.
Dave, I've heard that you got mixed up.
This is actually Joe Scarborough's opening monologue today.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
You just take it out of the oven and it's Josh Hawley.
Scarborough's on fire.
It's the greatest.
Their relationship is so hot.
It is hot.
It is hot.
So normal and hot and beautiful.
Yeah.
He didn't kill an intern.
No.
Dave, at some point.
No.
At some point.
She didn't help. I said he didn't kill an intern. And she didn't help. What do you mean he didn't kill an intern. No, Dave, you said he didn't know. She didn't know.
He didn't kill any didn't know.
What do you mean he didn't kill an intern?
How did he not?
Don't Google anything about it.
The inter was just dead in his office.
He didn't care.
We've all walked into a room and a dead woman's just there.
Yes, that we have the country.
We have the keys to.
Yeah. And when it happens, you go, you tell the cops, whoops a daisy.
Scarborough country and you get and it's fine.
Every man gets one Scarborough country.
That's right.
No man is an island.
It's like a mulligan. Every man is a Scarborough country.
I'm saying he didn't kill.
He didn't do it. Don't Google it deeply.
I'm Googling it and it says that Trump promotes it.
So you guys are with Trump. Thank you
Yeah case case dismissed. Thank you. Oh you believe in a heart condition
She passed out and hit her head on her heart. Yeah, it says very clearly
She was not struck by another person the Scarborough Fed Fed. So yeah, you said it all there
Yeah, it happened in Florida. I'm sure it was. Yeah, it was really investigated.
Can I just tell you Trump's tweet? Just again, it's horrible to have him back.
But man, he really, it's just the man he really can't manage.
He's it's like a bunch of slogans put on an orange suit.
Quote should open up a long overdue Florida cold case against psycho Joe Scarborough.
Is that new?
Is that new?
Oh, fuck.
That got me way too excited.
I agree with that.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, you know, he's sometimes the psycho says the right thing.
Like the Bush's did.
He killed the Bush family, you know.
Yeah. And that guy didn't murder that girl anyway.
All right. He didn't murder.
Well, I mean, he's a great.
He's such a good broadcaster.
He gets one murder.
Yeah, you get one.
John Stewart rule Wednesday was hog killing day again,
and many porkers lives were sacrificed to furnish eating for those who raised them
Some people ate bacon
You know here's what I regret saying is let's leave France for some Oklahoma news. It seems like since then
Everything's been psychotic
Right as opposed to the sanity of the serial killer whose family was involved with it.
That made sense before we got into basketball.
It was a horrendous story. At least I was like, I relate to this. This I've seen.
Right. And I've seen basketball, but what that man described was not basketball.
Yeah, I've never watched a basketball game.
It would be so great to walk into a basketball game and tap a guy in the shoulder and be
like, why are they so all decorated with their costumes?
Wouldn't the boys play a little better if they had less decoration?
Just as you push a hot dog into the side of your head. Decoration.
Just as you push a hot dog into the side of your head.
And your hair came out till the tone starts.
Bob Williams was not a very corpulent person. In fact, the band, if he were stood up for a target,
it would take a practiced sharpshooter to hit him. Nice.
But he has a very large and generous heart.
Oh, the donation of fresh sausage he brought to the press office
this morning will verify America is so violent.
They're describing a nice guy and they have to start with like five because he gave biscuits to a child. His redemptive quality is pork-based food.
But you know what?
We can't stay mad at this potential murderer.
He brought a bunch of sausages over.
Do you think we're going to be around in a hundred years?
He won't be around.
How many of the sausage givers here?
Did that guy murder? Oh, never mind.
Well, you can't shoot him. He's the sausage guy. Sausage givers here. Did that guy murder? Oh, never mind.
Well, you can't shoot him.
He's the sausage guy.
The press editor has requested to locate a widow who desires to marry.
For a recipe.
Yeah, yeah, nothing else.
Nothing else.
That's all normal.
It's all above board.
The editor of the paper is just looking for a woman a
Widowed woman a widowed woman, you know a damaged sad lady. She needs it. She needs me
I want a crying woman to fuck. I don't have any ulterior motives. I'm just writing about him
The applicant is a widower without encumbrance, but owns a team and says he can make a good living for her, which is more than some married ones are doing for their wives.
Jesus Christ, just talk to the gal.
No.
Why are you putting this in the paper?
I'm ordering a widow from the paper.
This is Elon Musk level shit.
I'll give her money.
Elon Musk buying Twitter to like, just get his message out.
I'm looking for a wife for a widow, please.
Please don't crowd, but form a single file while we take your name and accomplishments.
The idea that there's going to be a lot of women like,
oh, this sounds great, and not like a murder.
Well, lock the doors, boys, we put the ad out.
How many are waiting outside?
This is an ad.
Chickens, I want a card loaded chickens
within the next 10 days.
I will pay 15 cents a pound.
What is this? So the guy before wants a widow.
Wait, that sounds like an ad and more like a kidnapper's rant.
Like, chickens! I want chickens! And in 10 days!
And a helicopter!
See?
I'm gonna take the helicopter to the chickens to Rio, you see?
Or the widow gets it.
I want an island where I can live with the chickens or I kill this woman whose husband
passed.
Yeah, that's the...
The editor of the papers had his eye on her.
That's why I took it.
Get me those flightless birds.
And a bunch
of ham I want ham chickens chopper an island otherwise I kill this lady whose
husband left her and for some reason some hay a little hay would be nice yeah
I don't know what hay does do you you? The chopper can't take off.
It's too heavy.
Yeah.
Hey, you asked for too many chickens.
Throw one of the lady basketballers out.
They're worthless.
All they do is all they do is dominate on the court.
What about some of those boys?
Just their decorations should come off.
That'll lighten the load.
All right, so I just need a bunch of chickens,
this naked men's basketball team,
some hay, some ham, and an island destination.
Otherwise, this lady who was once married
but no longer is due to death gets it.
And I'm crazy?
And I'm nuts? Actually. And I'm actually.
Yeah, actually, hey, fellas, you guys are no one's reading your paper
because you're both insane.
You're the worst editors.
We don't understand what's happening over here.
No one is putting this paper out.
We're writing it for nobody.
Wait a minute. And what the hell is this?
This is an article.
Oh, we've been transcribing dreams again, brother.
It's pretty existential right here.
Notice to the public, I have I have opened a repair shop for shoes,
harnesses and plumbing and soldering.
This is the best part of the paper.
I'm so glad we got everything is a everything.
Every ad is a confession.
It's just like a pop up.
Yeah. It's like, what a great.
I'm opening a shoe store for just all kinds of weird shit.
I come to my shoe shop.
I need some chickens.
I'll dig a hole for you.
What? Looking for a widow.
Just a little skip ad pops up.
Yeah.
Pop up ads from back then.
That would be amazing.
Bring me your what?
Old well buckets?
Bring me your old well buckets and I will fix them.
You will find me at A.Winam's store.
Not mine. Nope. I'll at a Wynnum store.
Not mine.
Nope, I'll be lurking in the basement.
I'm hanging up at another guy's shop.
He's got me tied up downstairs.
Don't tell him you came for me.
Actually, I need help.
Could you climb in through the window if you want to shop?
Can you imagine living in this time and being like,
well,
I guess we're just done with this well bucket. There's nothing we can do.
Now, hold on there, ma'am.
No crazy man put an ad in the paper.
You'll be safe.
I noticed you don't have a wedding ring on your finger, my lady.
No.
Flower sack causes first aid call.
Tale as old as time.
Here we go again.
An odd case of first aid was required at a newly installed Red Cross
nurse at Bedlam, Kansas, recently, according to
advices from that town, a deaf man who was endeavoring to help
the woman clerk in a grocery store carry a sack of flour
from the store room to his waiting automobile
inadvertently caught the drag hook on her finger
and dragged her instead of the sack of flour across the floor.
Accidentally.
This is Scarborough stuff.
Whoopsie. We're in Scarborough country.
Buckle it up.
I don't understand.
He. What?
OK, what is the accident?
I if the accident is that he's dragging her like she's flower,
then this is a murder.
What did you say? He hooked on her.
Yeah, he was trying to hook the flower and I guess he hooked her
Hand this is some looney tunes shit. We all confuse flower with women Oh, you never done that you never confused a woman with a sack of flour get the fuck out of here
You ain't from Tennessee. You're a
You ain't from Tennessee. You're a find a way spot.
The past times will be taking a hiatus. What if that's what we're doing?
The past times is going to be off for the next six months.
No, because she's crying. The eyes.
She poked out her eyes. I'm normal.
All right.
Well, just have your protests on December 6th.
December 6th, Chicago.
If you live within nine hours, drive to the Lincoln Lodge.
Hecklers, welcome. James you live within nine hours, drive to the Lincoln.
Welcome.
James is now officially inviting hecklers.
Do they have that here?
They go and see.
Kids are allowed.
No kids. Here's what happened.
His back was turned and being too deaf to hear her cries.
Oh, I didn't know he was not know of the accident
until he turned to lift the flower into the machine.
It's just some dead wood.
So he hooked her
and he hit he hit the button or whatever to take the flower across the room.
There was a lady screaming, but he had his back turned so he couldn't hear her.
It's still not OK.
It got more OK. It's still not OK.
It sounds like the start to a porno.
But it was just a lady. It wasn't like a men's basket.
It wasn't a man.
So the men are okay?
It wasn't a man? Who? The woman?
They got hooked.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, I'm just saying it's okay.
No, a woman got hooked.
That's fine!
I don't think we're allowed to be even talking about this.
1921! It's fine. We'll make more women.
The hook was so deeply embedded in the woman's hand
that surgery was necessary to remove it.
However, when removing it,
they realized they were operating on a bag of flour. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha But the Red Cross nurse was able to relieve her pain with first aid at once while a surgeon was being summoned.
Red Cross nurses in the chapters where public health work is conducted
are constantly having just such calls as this.
This is happening. What?
Now they're not.
The number one leading cause of death in females.
Men focus where your hooks are going.
I don't know how many times I have to say this.
You have a deadly hook.
Don't just wave it around.
This is happening a lot.
Just women hooked to the backs of cars.
Oh, my God, I thought you were the flower.
They frequently find themselves the only help available help
in serious emergencies in many of the Red Cross chapters
employing public health nurses.
The work is financed by the recipients
from the annual roll call.
The roll call this year will take place November 11th to 24th
and will be simultaneously throughout the United States.
It's an ad.
Actually, this is.
It's an ad. Actually, this is ad.
Actually, this is better health care than we have now.
I'm not kidding.
Probably cost it probably cost a wooden nickel for all this shit.
I'm not joking at all.
An ambulance ride.
I'm not joking.
An ambulance ride would have killed this entire community
if it was priced what it is now.
Ain't that the goddamn truth.
God damn it. He's right again.
I'm sorry.
That's what you got to love about America when someone gets hurt and they go don't call an ambulance.
I know.
This is this system's thriving.
Well, we're a poor country not the richest country in the history of the world.
That's right.
How dare you?
How dare you?
That's right.
That's right.
How fucking dare you? You're right. How fucking dare you?
December six, two shows.
If you like, you like truth tellers.
You want to see America hater James Fritz.
That's right. I love you.
The citizens.
Is that Illinois?
Oh, Illinois, not Chicago.
Oh, my God. What's happening on December 6th?
Miss Mildred Kelly hailed as the gamest girl in Illinois.
The gamest? That's a floozy.
Yeah, no, I think it's like a twitch thing.
No, she's not fucking.
She's a is that what it means?
Easy. Well, it does now, but not then.
She's game, bro.
Who trailed five armed robbers in her liver.
In her fliver?
F-L-I-V-E-R.
It's a French liver.
Sure, yeah.
After they had robbed, the state bank at Iuka is back on the job again.
None the worse for her exciting chase. Hell, yeah. Oh, I like this.
I thought it was going to like slut shame her, but it's like,
we're making we're making a little American hero
narrative about this gal. That's right.
What was your name?
Mildred Kelly. Mildred Kelly.
That's good. Pretty hot.
Yeah, it's a good name.
Definitely sounds potentially widowed.
I can see her with a Tommy gun.
Yeah, that's right.
Mildred Kelly says, kiss my grits, you know?
Man, did you always kiss my grits?
By the way, Tommy gun.
Good Lord. Go ahead, Dave.
I'm just a pro-woman ally.
The Devil Dodger was the published title to the film shown
at the Dark Feather Theater last Saturday night.
It was misleading and not appropriate.
This is someone writing it.
The title?
There were neither devils nor dogs, discuss.
Yeah.
Rather, it was the Christ spirit as displayed
by a young minister who believed and acted as his conception of the real character of a Christian.
Those who missed it missed one of the best entertainments ever presented by the theater management.
Those who did see it and were not impressed with the thought conveyed are lacking in the finer sensibilities and sentiments of true manhood and
Oh my god. This is where we are. We're in 1927. Yeah, that feels like now.
21. But yes, whatever I won.
It was. You just said two five times.
Yeah. Like I was repeated on Sunday afternoon, but to a poor house.
It certainly deserved a better patronage. Wow. Wow, that is fucking shitty
Well, your audience is at church dumbass. Yeah
Our Christ play doesn't get a people don't come out as much on Sundays. Yeah, what is it?
I can't believe they're wasting a Christ movie on the poor. Yeah, that wasn't what he was about.
You remember him. He hated the poor. Yeah.
Last one. Sure.
Um, this is out of Waco, Texas.
Poor Waco. Say it.
We're good. That's why David likes my humor.
Now we tell the truth.
We're not afraid.
You're talking about animals.
Many people say we're the next Carlins.
Yeah, the two Carlins are the cause.
Do like Carlin.
I would love to.
Oh, my God, that's we should tour it.
Through the two Carlins. What if you guys just started doing bits you thought Carlin would be doing now.
I don't think Carlin would have talked that long about skunks under his house.
That's Dave's biggest note to me comedically, is I haven't mentioned the skunks.
My trauma. That's my trauma.
He starts doing it.
Give me time. Skunks. My trauma. That's my trauma. He starts doing it. Give me time. Yeah.
I see Dave on stage,
I'm like, sometimes Skunks were out of my house.
A bunch of Skunks.
Fire chief said he couldn't have even lived there.
And he's a fire chief.
You ever heard of rape Skunks?
Oh boy, it's canceled.
It's just canceled right away.
We cut from that to the guy putting
the canceled thing over your face.
I guess James was right.
He knew where it would end.
All right, last one.
This is from Waco, Texas.
Jailer finds saws in Christmas cake.
Cutting into a large Christmas cake sent to prisoners in the county jail here by parcel post.
Jailer Scott Chaplin found six saws of the finest steel.
Six. The cake is being sawed.
This never happened. Six. Six.
Six. Yeah. How big?
OK. How small the saw or how big the cake?
I know, right? You've You gotta love the person being like
Two seems like a lot
Like trying to smuggle in like a ten foot wide cake into a prison like oh, it's just a regular
Happy holidays to those incarcerated folk
Happy holidays to those incarcerated folk.
No, no, no, no. Not for the jailers.
Only prisoners. Let them cut it, too.
Can they have a knife? No.
Well, there's one in the cake for the.
Money, but nothing.
Oh, shit.
There's a little man in the cake.
Guys, guys, we got this.
Don't mention the knives.
I've got a bunch of chickens.
Hey, Bob, there's a there's a 32 foot cake out here.
What are we going to do with this?
Just put it in front of the guys.
Let him eat it face first.
Just let him go in there and eat it.
It's the holidays.
This time in this year, most of them are cousins. Like,
I mean, the doors are open anyway. It's 1921.
Oh, well, James, we love you.
Oh no. We miss you. What's happening?
The show's on. This is the end. That's it. This is the best.
We're not recording. This is an intervention. Yeah.
That's the way to do an intervention.
Invite someone on your podcast.
Make them go through technical difficulties for 20 minutes.
I'd do it for an hour.
Yeah, do the episode.
Could have done it at the beginning.
It just felt wrong.
We're worried about your drinking.
It's like, well, this is why I drink.
You.
All right.
They can go to LincolnLodge.com.
Chicago, December 6th. LincolnLodge.com, Chicago December 6th.
LincolnLodge.com.
The Lincoln Lodge.
Yeah, or Fritz Is Dead.
Fritz Is Dead, Instagram, Twitter, whatever, man.
You'll find it.
Google James Fritz Lincoln Lodge.
What up, man?
LincolnLodge.com.
But yeah, please come.
It's going to be a fun night.
I love Chicago and I haven't performed there in a long time
And I love that's where I love you the comedy and I love it
James we're trying to wrap the show up. So I'm trying to plug in a real
Really take does your does your stage?
Are you doing a carlin
All right, so thank you James and and and we just want to say thanks
to everyone listening thank you guys are the best and we just fucking love this
shit and Matt right buckle up alright shows over go back to the edge man that
went pretty good I felt like I really got him at the ending there when I
started pandering it's really hateful for you though. Oh, we're still recording something. on the channels here called Second in Command. We were formerly a Veep Rewatch podcast, but now.
But now we watch any movie with a president
or vice president in it, and we bring on
an interesting, funny, cool person to talk about that movie.
And this week, who do we have, Tim?
We have star of stage and screen, Kristen Bell.
You might know her from Veronica Mars,
from Forgetting Sarah Marshall,
from The Good Place or the more recent Nobody Wants This.
And what movie did she pick, Tim?
She picked the 2006 movie Idiocracy,
which has nothing to do with our current circumstances.
No, no, it did not predict what we were going to live through
starting January.
Anyways, it's fun and I'm really excited
about this episode, so please check us out.
Yeah, we come out every Tuesday on All Things Comedy.
Get us wherever you get your podcasts.