The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 103 - The Past Times with Trae Crowder

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

Dave Anthony picks a newspaper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds. This week they are joined by comedian Trae Crowder Redbubble Merch

So I travel a lot. I mean a lot perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there. I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy and I want all the comforts of home That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado And I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff and before we got to the gigs We were like, let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a more comforting existence you have a kitchen you have a yard you know it's communal living it's just a less stressful place more enjoyable experience so when I go on tour you know like I'll be going on tour

in a couple months I always am like well could my place be an Airbnb you know just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money. And the answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb. It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb.

Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. We're going on tour and this is it's been a while. March 2025 is when our tour is happening. First of all, we're going to Tempe, Arizona, maybe our favorite city of all time. It's the best. That is on March 16th. And then we go to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Maybe our favorite city ever. We have never loved a city.

Truly the best city we've ever gone to. That's on March 17th. And then we go to Oklahoma City, which is- The best, our favorite, we often say that it's our number one. Yeah, it's our number one, the best city I've ever been to. That's on March 18th. On March 19th, we're gonna be in Tulsa Oklahoma

our favorite city without question and then we head to Dallas Texas on March 20th our favorite city, it's the best one, there's no one better than Dallas if you don't like it you're a Dal asshole thank you and then we go to Houston Texas on March 23rd, the best city, which is by far the best city. And then we end our tour in Austin, Texas on March 22nd at the Cap City Comedy Club. It's the best city. In the entire world. Number one city. Number one city in the world.

You can get tickets at dollarpodcast.com slash tour. All right, everybody. Welcome to the Past Times podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked up by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. Trey Crowder. Hi, Trey. What's up? It's about time. Thank you for joining.

It is. Well, you wanted to do it in person. Yeah, that is true. I did. Yeah. And I remembered that and I didn't want to do it with you in person. Yeah. So it just was never going to happen. Never going to happen. Yeah. Just. Yeah. So and they off.

And Dave also passed away two years ago and we use an AI. So we don't want to let that cat out of the bag. Right. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Good. Yep. He's it's getting better, too. It's really the bag. Right. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Good. Yep. He's it's getting better too. It's really learning his ticks. Yeah. It goes. It says I'm going to block you a lot too. I'm fuck. I like that kitty cat back there, by the way. Thank you. Point out. Yeah. Thank you. I got a tuxedo cat that my household. Yeah.

That little like I knew I liked you. Cream and gray colored crackhead one to Dave jump in whenever AI Dave, I have an actual crackhead Now we know Dave's real. All right, Trey. Let's get into it. You first of all you are wildly successful. You're too big for this show Not true. Oh good. That was a test. You're going on tour and people can go to your website TreyCrowder.com but we should point out the Trey is spelled T-R-A-E-S. I'm sure he's gotten in the way of your life. And then also your special is coming out on 800-pound gorilla. When is that coming out? January 21st. Okay, so probably near when this will come out would be.

That would be great. That would be ideal with the words. Well, we'll talk to Burns, our producer, didn't tell you to record a local and also take stories from the show for your other show that you did with Corey Ryan Forrester, who was on the show once and played a fart voice memo. I know I was I was going to bring that because like to hear Corey tell it. That was like a legendary moment in the history of your podcast. You know, the people, everyone he's in the annals of the past times in the dollar. The open animals. Yeah, right.

As it as it were. And so I was, you know, I felt like I should tell people I'm the I'm the second fiddle to the legendary, you know, fart man, Corey Ford. Your second your second part, your second part. Yeah. Yeah. I tried to actually find some of my farts in my phone because I knew that was a thing you had done. But I think I've just like texted mine to him.

And now they're just committed to the ether. Well, I also older. I don't think we. Yeah. He is a folder and I don't think we want to open it up for our guests. Yeah. To bring their farts every week. Yeah. That we're like a fart promotion show. Even though Dave did have a fart chair. We are setting up a 1-800 number where people can just call in and put their farts in, just

drop a voicemail with your farts. Yeah, 1-800-YES-FART was available and boy did we jump on that. All right, well listen, Trey, this is not just a show about Cory's farts. We also go through this newspaper. You heard the intro. So how we like to start is the guest will guess what year they think this paper is from with no context. If you want a headline, Dave can give it to you.

It's not going to help. And then I'll guess. And then Dave will probably say that you won the guessing game, even if you didn't. I mean, so what's the range we're talking about? I mean, we did a 1600 once. Yeah, I didn't even know. Um, with Adam Conover, but he kept being like, this is fake. So I think it removed the stakes.

Transcribed town crier or something. Yeah, it was like, it was like a guy who was like, imagine if trees took ladies. That happened. And then we did a 2001 one recently. So that's kind of your range, but I would favor in the middle of those. Yeah, I'm gonna say 1861. It's a great guess.

It's a great guess. It just, that just like, when I think 1800s, I think the Civil War era, cause I'm from Tennessee and that's all we ever talked about when I was a kid. So, you know, and I picked the beginning of it instead of the end for some reason. Can I just say,

Oh, I defaulted to that part. Yeah. Let it go. Yeah. Let it go. I mean, really let's, Oh, you're wearing a Dodger's hat. So this podcast might have a civil war. Yeah. The podcast is hostile already. Yeah. Right off the bat. I know. Yeah. I've got to like, this ad for it. People, I didn't know made this. If you're, if they're watching it, can they watch this or just, I can watch. Yeah. They can't watch it. Okay.

I do have a doctor's head on. I'm also wearing a Lululemon shirt. Uh, but I, but this is my real accent. I promise. Yeah. No, you really are Angeles. I've never made any sense. You know, that's kind of my whole thing.

You do yoga. Yeah. A little bit. And I can't get into tea. Uh, sweet tea, obviously. Yes. I eat meat. Of course. I don't compost either. I mean, I'm not, it's like, you know, it's all relative. I'm like, I'm like the biggest hillbilly in my, you know, Burbank neighborhood or whatever. You know, if you moved to Beverly Hills. Yeah. Now we have a sitcom. Yeah. I I think I did that once but I don't remember Okay, Trey, so 1861 that's a good guess I'm gonna go 1900 you're a fucking idiot. What's the year Dave? It's 1889. All right, I mean

Yep, Tray wins Wait, so it's like prices right rules. rules? You can't go over it? No, it's just that Dave always says yes. You were closer. One time I guessed the right year. But, vibe-wise, it was wrong. That's what he said. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's the same way with this one. Vibe-wise, much more on top of it, Trey. You just... Dave. It's the Pittsburgh dispatch. OK, nice. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I think there was a time for us to react to that,

and I think we both did the right thing, Trey. Nothing. All right. Pittsburgh. OK, so I get people fired up the paper. Yeah, no, I can't win this. This is when they came up with putting fries on sandwiches, which by the way, headline permannies. fries on sandwiches, which by the way, headliner permannies. January 13th, 1889 year of our Lord Jesus Christ.

And I don't think we're doing J-Town in some circles. No important man rides. Motorcycle murder in fashion is the headline. What's in fashion? Murder in fashion. Murder. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Murder is also real hot right now. Very fashionable right now. Very much. Yeah. So I didn't know that, you know, it had its moment in the sun. It was murders having a moment.

It is. I mean, it objectively is. Murder is having a big moment. Murder is so hot right now. Oh, it's really hot. Ask my white woman why. Everybody's doing it. Loves it. You've got to murder. A wave of bloodshed. This is one with a bunch of headlines. A wave of bloodshed sweeping with a resistant resistant

resistless rush over England. Oh, a wave of bloodshed sweeping with a resist resistance rush over England. OK, there's a lot of there's a lot of stories on the front page from England. So I don't know if this is like an English immigrant paper or something. But the police powerless, an epidemic of burglary, also worrying detectives. Secondary could be connected. Murder is the fashionable thing. Just I'm sorry.

Jose stop Jose. Hey, Jose. He's murdered. He's murdered a chair. Well, what does it do? All right. Keep going. Sorry. Victimless murder is the fashionable thing. Just now in England. The success of the White Chapel Fiend. OK, that's Jack the Ripper. Yeah.

Yeah. So he's starting a trend. This is not Jack the Ripper. This is about Jack the Ripper. Copycat. Yeah. Because once you hear about, you know, so you're in England and at this time when you hear about how he did it, like cutting them open and doing it, you're just like, I got to get it. I've always thought the copycats are kind of weird. I mean, I guess, you know, they're not the most mentally stable,

but it's like you never the second guy never gets the, you know, attention. The first guy, you know what I mean? Like the copycats never become famous. Like they, you know, like, I don't know what they're trying to get in on. Everybody's always like, we're past that, I don't know what they're trying to get in on everybody. I said the open past that. Yeah. What about Ted the opener? I got to spill it too.

I think I got to spill it too. Yeah. Nobody cares. Yeah. We're not. They don't. But they, but I guess they do it because they think that they will get attention. Right.

I mean, that's what I've always assumed because otherwise why do it exactly the same way? Plus they just call it copycatting, so it makes it seem that way. That must really. It's never worked once, so I don't know why anybody ever does it. It must really piss off the copycatter.

Yeah. Like when people like, oh, a copycat are like, I'm doing my own stuff. Yeah, right. I'm taking the heads off. Yeah. He's ripping, I'm decapitating. Yeah, I don't know, man. I think they get into it. I's ripping. I'm, I'm what? I'm decapitating. Yeah, I don't know, man.

I think they get into it. I think they purposefully just, you know, steal all the first guy's material and just just only use that. Yeah. So they deserve to be called hat. Well, hacks is probably would like that. You're a hack. You're damn right. I appreciate that. Carry this little.

Yeah. Also a bit of a slash. You're damn right. I appreciate that. That's why I carry this little axe. Also a bit of a slash. But I'm sorry. All right. So it has spurred many imitators to emulate his awful crimes as as the police and detectives seem unable to obtain any clue to the perpetrators. It is suggested that young Britons be trained to tell the truth so that when they do murder, they may go straight away and tell of it. Wow.

That is that. It is so that's what they think the problem is or the answer is. Just can't help but feel you know what I mean? It's like, uh, you know what? Maybe not, you can't train them not to murder. Do you know what I mean? Like that's out straight away. You know what?

Try that, but we maybe can train them to not lie. And then they'll have to tell us when they murder. And that's a step in the right direction. What's the bigger crime, the killing of the lady or they're saying you didn't do it? Your son's dead, but the truth is whoever did it is really in a bad spot. We've got a fibbing issue. It's so similar to we don't have a mass shooter problem. This is a mental health crisis.

Yeah, it's like, let's address the attitude of the people doing this rather than really try to address the obvious problem. We don't have a murder issue, but we have a bunch of scoundrels, not being honest. Yeah, but they didn't call him Jack the Fibber, you know what I mean? That would be a great one. He also wasn't being very forthcoming about it. One constable pitching that. That wasn't what people cared about. The real crime here is fibbing. We've got to jack the fibber on our hands. Tories are exulting because the Parnell

fund in America is growing smaller. Sackville's defense admittedly weak. The Belgian queen and her daughter go into. Oh, this must just be. Have you shifted to a new story? Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I think it's a description of what's coming up. Oh, OK.

What is a coming attraction in the paper? Yes. Oh, cool. Next time. On Fibbing's Free. English Fibbing's Free. I really want to read that. I thought it was the start of the story, but OK.

It is sad to have to say so, but murder in its most unattractive shape is becoming positively fashionable on this island. Who is this Sacha Baron Cohen character? Yeah, they got the gossip columnist to write about, write up the murder spree. But I wanted to talk about the dresses. There's no we need you to cover this. Murder is so hot. Someone's being naughty and people like it.

That blood splatter look on your face is majorly in. Yeah, you are. That is slaying. That is slaying. Got slain, got slain that queen. But did they would they say murder in its most unattractive fashion or what something about like they like unattractive shape, unattractive shape. Yes.

It's like, you know, hangings. Sure or whatever. Yeah, but so last year you can't be disemboweling people. That's pretty so last year. Let's see the guts stories of wanton butchery come from every part of England to help the sale of the dull London papers and to increase the growing panic. It's like murder beetle mania. Yeah. It's everywhere. Also, like that seems to imply that it's like that's the reason for it is, you know,

is to move papers or whatever. I mean, I know if it bleeds, it leads, but it makes it sound like the London Times, Piccadilly Times or whatever it was called was out here like, you know, splitting these ladies open. Yeah. Did you know that that actually happened in Brazil in like the 80s? You ever heard that story? There was a guy. I always forget his name and the name of the show, but there was this like like kind of cops type show.

It was like a documentary crime show covering like gang violence and cartel like violence in Brazil. And I said eighties, it might've been the nineties, but it was super popular. Like, and they, they had like footage of gangland killings and all this stuff. And then people started noticing, and it was real violent and crazy because it was all real. Then I started noticing that the camera crew would get there sometimes like before the cops, they'd like be there to watch it happen. People are like,

this is like that Jack Gyllenhaal movie Nightcrawler, except more brutal and real. Like and they found out the producer and host and presenter of the show and creator of it, who is this ex cop. He he was like exploiting his gangland connections to set up these executions

and stuff and making sure that his camera crews were there ahead of time to film it and all this shit. And he got caught doing it. And yeah, I was in Brazil in the night. So he got so he got caught being successful. I don't understand. Oh, it's illegal to produce amazingly. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry.

That's fucking. Wow. That is. And so Brazil. Yeah. Yeah. Very Brazil. Yeah. The British maiden is fairly hysterical. The matron is chronically faint and the steady Britain painfully worried in his mind while the citizen with Tennessee's not toward law abiding gives daily evidence of the spirit of emulation which fires him.

I'm not sure what happened, but they did say Tennessee tray. You want to pick it up? Tendency. Tendency. Oh, damn it. Yeah, I thought that too. At first, and I was like, hey, leave us out of this. Yeah, like Tennessee's.

You know, they at some point it was like, you know, a law back then, any story at this time had to, at some point mentioned that women are hysterical, like that got brought up, you know, and it's like, well, they are being, you know, split open on the. Freaking out about it. My wife won't shut up about it. Shut up. She won't go buy food at night for me anymore.

It's really impacting the fellas. Yeah. This pattern favorite phrase of tourism crime ridden England. It may be incidentally mentioned. It is not quite as popular as it was for Ireland, unlike England. And Scotland has yet to furnish an instance of a desire to outdo the White Chapel fiend. You know, I wonder who they were like blaming this on.

You know, they had to have somebody that were blaming it. You know, to me, like it's always there's always a crime spree in the cities or always crime rate or whatever. And it's like, I don't know if they had immigrants yet. In fact, at the end of that, they were like, they pulled a 180 on me and were like, Ireland and Scotland got this figured out, which I did not see coming. Well, they always do. Ireland and Scotland are always like, we're doing way better.

No, I know that, but this is English people reporting, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. I didn't think they'd give it up for Ireland and Scotland. But I think that's a that's a way of saying like, we're we're so fucked up that we're worse than Ireland. They are doing better than we are, which is gross. And I think animals of until they can find the scapegoat there, to your point

before they are being careful and being like women are a problem. Yeah, I mean, they are now, you know, women are really a problem in this. The White Chappell's murderer, the White Chappell murderers exploits were promptly and universally credited credited to some foreigner, an American preferred on the ground. Yeah, yeah. Fuck dare you. My brother, right on the ground at the slaughter of the defenseless women

was incompatible with the noble instincts of Englishmen. OK, so all right. There it is. I was just a little bit ahead of it. That's why it is funny that we were the like the Muslim refugees of the day, I guess. The Americans were. But but yeah, I knew that was coming. This is far too improper for an Englishman to have done.

It's a Yankee. But also, I mean, that's not true, right? Like because this they are the White Chapel murder that is Jack the Ripper. And like, I mean, they famously never figured out who that was. They didn't. But they think because of I think the way he like operated and the way that he cut women up, that he was an educated.

Yeah, like new anatomy. Yeah, like a doctor type. So, yeah, they think he was from the upper class. Right. Yeah. Educated yet savage must be. Savage. Hmm. And he was lacking in decorum after every murder. He was heard to shout awesome. There's ranch all over this body.

More ranch fingerprints. But this characteristically British theory has been damaged by the readiness which the English mind has shown to imitate the Whitechapel methods, and the American with the low hat theory is gradually being abandoned. What is that? They're saying what I just said. Yeah, they're saying, yeah, we're we're we're like, yeah, low hat class. We're shitty Americans. Oh, OK. I thought they literally meant like, I know, I wore a hat back then.

So it's like just if you're going to go around murdering low, you're at down. Yeah. Maybe you might be while you're might be right. Which is such a great time when there weren't cameras everywhere. And you could just be like, you can just see him. He did the, you know, that's all it took. He's good. He clearly knows we're looking for him. So much for that then.

On to the next case. I was watching an English soccer game this weekend and there was a bugler because it was like whatever their veterans day and he was in full military uniform, but so he had the, you know, the hat on like they do when they're dressed up on their formals. But the brim came down to his nose. So you can't see. The brim came straight down from his hat and touches his nose.

He was brimtish. I'll answer this, Dave. You've seen the the guards at Buckingham Palace also very- Same thing. Pretty bad. But they can't see with that. That's really dumb. They can. It's just like this. But not well.

Maybe for the bugler, it's like maybe they don't want him to be able to see because if he- Maybe. Beholds all the carnage, he won't be hitting the notes as well. You know what I mean? It's like a horse with blinders on. Yep. But in front of, they're like murder blinders for the bugler so he can keep the tunes going.

And then maybe for your soccer match, Dave, they didn't do it because then he'd be like, wait, people are wearing regular clothes. Yes. This is crazy. This is, you lied to me. because then you'd be like, wait, people are wearing regular clothes. Yes. This is crazy. This is a lie to me. Yeah, that's that's the do they do they still do you think they still I think now in war, they just like blast Metallica through like their

like shared headsets way better while they're waving. Yeah, they can shred their people. They're actually just playing this out. They're playing Metallica from the warehouse they're working in while they tap a button. Do drones track. Yeah, it's a pretty different. It's not Seinfeld's on.

Yeah. That's quite as much. Yeah. War drums. A sad bugler like, do you have any job openings? Still got my trumpet. Ready to go chief. Yeah. I've got my trumpet ready to go chief. Yeah I mean that would I mean that is way more you know metal and hardcore obviously.

I watched a I can't remember what the Netflix movie is called but it's with one of the Hemsworth's where extraction. Yeah I saw that too. There's two of them. Well is that the drone one? Uh, wait a minute. You're thinking, no, that's, that's the other Hemsworth and Russell Crowe that's called land of bad. I have to watch like dad movies, you know, like after they go to sleep at night, land a bath with your kids with

them. When them and my wife are asleep, I have to sit there with a whiskey and you know, be, you know, be up there while I watch a Russell Crowe movie. Well, that one was so goddamn funny because they are trying to provide the action from a drone room. And at the end, he's Russell Crowe is piecing together some stuff to run back to the drone place to change. Yeah, like the change. Yeah. Like the drowning.

Yeah. And you're like, well, they really are working so goddamn hard to give you that like action plot point for him where he's shopping. And then he's like, wait, I've got to like figure out this drone now. Yeah. It is. It's also funny. Like we were just talking about how like the shifting and technologies and war customs and stuff have, you know, pushed out

the buglers and other, uh, sundry, other military positions, but it's actually kind of worked in Russell Crowe's favor. Cause it's like earlier in his career, he played like the salt. He could play the super soldier dude or whatever. We had drone rooms like old fat Russell Crowe can still, can still be He's eating bugles. Being those. Yes. It's just that they're crunching up. Buglers now. It's just bugles. Bags of bugles.

Bit of a bugler myself. Yeah. Yeah. I farted them into his mouth. I had to I had to watch that movie because the name is. Yeah. Our propaganda has our propaganda has gotten so bad that now it is like you live bad, bad place going in like. Our propaganda has our propaganda has gotten so bad that now it is like,

yeah, bad, bad place going in like it's just so fucking terrible. Yeah. Get it all there. Setting in our assassins to land of bad. No, you can't watch like a war movie from the 80s anymore because you're like, they shouldn't be there. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's also like that with like, like something like, well, I mean, obviously there's

still a ton of cop movies and stuff like that, but like for the like 21 jump street, that reboot, which is awesome and super hilarious, but there's like a part, I remember rewatching that it like, you know, in 2020 or whatever. And it's still very funny, but there's parts where they like are pulling their guns out and just, you know, shooting in the air and like in the other guys and doing desk pops and stuff like that. And it's like, it just plays a little differently when you know that like cops really be that way.

Well, you know, they don't just shoot them up in the air. I saw one on Instagram. Yeah. But, uh, no, it would be good to make a movie like that, like a cop movie, but from, you know, like the criminals really start trying to frame the criminals as the good guys in the story, just trying to feed people and trying to go home to their wives too. Right.

And, you know, like that, that should shift at some point because that's the same, like when you grow up in that Copaganda era, it takes a while to start to be like, now, wait a minute. Right. Well, I mean, they showed me is different than what I'm watching. That's part of the reason the wire was one of the best. Yeah, right. Yeah, because they did.

They were like actually nuanced with all that. They showed the cops being terrible. Yeah. Well, the shield also. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And cops.

I mean, we're all saying the same thing. Go ahead. So I travel a lot. I mean, a lot. Perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there. I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy. And I want all the comforts of home. That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible. Recently, I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado,

and I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff and before we got to the gigs we were like, let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a more comforting existence. You have a kitchen, you have a yard, you know, it's communal living. It's just a less stressful place, more enjoyable experience. So when I go on tour, you know, like I'll be going on tour in a couple months, I always am like, well, could my place be an Airbnb? You know, just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money. And the answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb.

It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb. Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host.

There's another London story. Must have her cigarette. A society she accuses the comitése de Paris of smoking a shhh. I love when he does French. I don't know. Comtesse. It's my fetish. Comtesse?

I've never seen this word before. Slower. It must be some sort of title. Comtesse. Of smoking a short clay pipe and not in private either, but as she drives about. Ugh. What? Disgusting. Has she drives about. What? Has she no shame?

What the fuck? That's awesome. Women can't do anything in public back then other than sit demurely. Yeah. Smoke or have her mouth open or just doing anything at all. That hands for waving eating or jacking me off, lady. This is probably to a pipe. Clay pipe.

She might be hitting the crack. I'm hoping it's weed. This is probably one of the tales for which society sheets are famous. Cigarette smoking by women, however, is becoming more common every day in England, where it used to be considered an awful crime. And only yesterday. But then they invented those little extended cigarette holder things,

you know, and those are cool for that turned it that turned it all around. And then the dude started doing it. It was like, what are we at that? That was like their bathroom. Yeah, right. They're like, what is a woman? Yeah. What is a woman? And only yesterday I heard a certain well-known woman mourning

because she had been over two weeks at a house where she could not smoke cigarettes after dinner without exciting comment and had been troubled by her nerves in consequence. So she was getting shamed. She couldn't smoke and she wanted to smoke. Yeah, she was having withdrawals, which I've had super relatable. Yeah, I've been there. Why not? But I've certainly been.

Yes, completely. Where I mean, that would be like the best way to do it is to just put you in a room. But I don't most cigarette smokers I know like wouldn't be stopped by the scorn of the lady of the house. I agree. Yeah. I mean, if you're leaning out the window, they're just like, I'll just sleep in the

street, bitch, you know, I watched two of my friends. I was in Alaska a couple of days ago and I watched two of my buddies have a cigarette outside and I was like, it was freezing. Right. And I was like, I remember those. Those are never good. Those are never like, that's never the enjoyable cigarette. Yeah. He's like all huddled up. Your lungs are already giving you cigarettes out. There's some camaraderie to it though. You know what I mean? I started smoking when I was 16 and I mean, I still vape, but hey, I switched off the hard stuff a while ago. Yep. And anytime I see a friend I mean, I still vape, but hey, I switched off the hard stuff a while ago.

Yep. And anytime I see a friend of mine, I haven't seen in a while or just meet a person who still smokes actual cigarettes. Part of me is honestly kind of like good for you, man. Oh yeah. Hanging in there. Hanging in there. Sticking.

No, when you see him, you're like, Oh yeah. You got to still out there doing it. Huh? Keep fighting, man. Keep fighting. Yeah. We all got to die sometime. Yeah. Soon. Soon, probably. Uh, not much of a prodigy.

Jesus Christ. Another London story. I hope this is about an eight year old. Right. Terrible chimney sweep, I say, but voted the worst chimney sweep and what a fool of London. Look at him. He's all chalky. Yeah. Wait, I keep forgetting. This is a Pittsburgh newspaper.

It's just a lot of them are about dispatch. Yeah. Obsessed with England murder and just shitting on England. Yeah. OK. All right. It's got to be for expats, right? It's got to be for the English moved over. Another juvenile prodigy has just made his debut debut at St. Petersburg, where he hardly comes up to the average demanded of prodigy prodigies nowadays.

What this kid sucks. Throwing tomatoes at a middle school. It's like this is so shitty to put in the newspaper. Every every adult I feel like should have an understanding. It's like if you're in a scenario like that and then the kid starts and it's not that great, you all just kind of sit there sort of awkwardly and like politely clap at the end. Yeah, you're all thinking like, oh, that didn't go as well

as he'd hoped it would. The poor thing. And there's a reporter. Like, yes. Worst trombonist ever or whatever. Like, what was he doing? Euthanize the eight-year-old. Yeah.

Off the stage. Send him to the mines. Yeah. He's not even eight. The canner. He's not even eight? Oh, I thought I was going too far when I said eight earlier. I was like, there's no way eight is too young, but he is already four years of age.

Oh, my God. No, I mean, in a way, that's good because he might not be damaged. Yeah. You might be like, just under the like, I think an entire concert hall booing you off stage or something that sticks with you. I don't care if you're in preschool when it happens. You know, stage parents, they probably read him the reviews and like, see, so you're not doing great. The dispatch was none to impress.

Do you understand? Yeah. He plays, he plays only Chopin, besides which his father has to work the pedal. His father has to work the pedals for him. On account of the shortness of his leg. Well, they didn't even need to do it because he can't do it. He's got tiny legs.

It's like when a kid was on The Tonight Show. Don't waste our time if you're going to go over those short little four year old legs. Oh my God. We can't run. They don't make stilts anymore. Yeah. If you put stilts on them pops. Yeah.

Four year old prodigy caught in four year old legs. Yeah. You need to go to the circus. I'm sure you got to put stilts on kids. Let me know when he can touch the pedals. Make them perform adequately. Till then my reviews in thumbs down. It's just nothing but show pan too.

And it's like, I bet it was pretty good. I had a lot better than I could have imagined. If you saw a four year old playing show pan, right. Right. Right. Wow. I wouldn't, I would be like, wait a minute. His legs aren't touching the pedals.

You shoved the dad. Get out of here. His name, which will keep him from being very well-known is Raul Kozlowski. I didn't even know. Are they shitting on the name or his lack of skill? Name one time the English are not taking swipes at the Polish. Yeah. Uh, I think I was thinking the same thing.

I was like when he got to which a name, which history will surely have forgotten in no time, you know, that's why I thought they were doing. But then I think they were just like, yep, you got to change that name, kid. This is never going to work. But yeah, it's probably not a stage name at all. Now, if he wasn't a little Polish kid, then maybe he could have, you know, they might have been a little, a little easier on him for hitting all over. Uh, evicted with trouble. This is, I mean, it's gotta be Dublin, but it says Bublin.

That's, that's, I, I would guess that's drinking shade. I mean, maybe it is. Could also be a place in Pennsylvania. They're definitely just ripping the English paper off fully because Pittsburgh is not going to be like, here's a little bubbling. Yeah, they're just taking dispatch stories from just like, it's just like someone handing you a decoupage, like three ring binder. Don't what are you doing with decoupage? What do you,

what do you, would you rather me do the French? Is that what you like? It's just, it's just not, it's not who you are. It's not your big day. I'm a big microfiche and I'm a big decoupage. And you know that about me and jeweler's loop. I'll fucking dance. Damn bro. I kind of know what microfiche is. Those other two things It's like minnows. Yeah. Tiny little fish. Tiny little fish in microfiche. Tiny, the most microfiche. When they got fish as a baby, they say microfiche.

You look at the microfiche. You understand? Temple. The smallest fish you ever see. I call it temple microfiche. Barely can see, huh? Yeah, OK. So what this is is this is this is an.

A paper for for English expats in in America and and there is no bubbling, so they clearly just didn't care. Dublin shade or whatever Dublin. It's Dublin. Right. Yeah. A party of officers engaged in evicting a tenant named John Heaney from his holding on the estate of Lord Lurgan in County Armagh today met with a vigorous resistance. The inmates of the house assailing them with boiling water and pitchforks. Yeah, because nice nice follow up.

Yeah, right. They they've they've they've lived through the potato famine. They know how fucking terrible you are Irish used to really fight back against the rise of the proletariat, but I think we are we also really have Undersold how great hot water can be in battles. Yes. Yeah hot water Well, you know for a while on it. They were doing hot oil. Yeah Yeah, it goes even worse goes way goes way worse. You definitely prefer water. I mean, water to the oil.

Oh my God, water. Oh no, it's oil. Oh, that's bone. Now I'm really mad. Oh, that's bone. Really good for your hair though. It's really... Beautiful.

Yeah, it really helps. No, you get that kind of like the magic shell you used to put on ice cream. It's kind of that vibe. Yeah, it's nice. I love it. I love it. Does it say why these people were being evicted or whatever?

Because I'm sure it's like comically evil. I'm sure it is not remotely deserved or anything. And yet the Brutes pushed back. We were unable to bang their wives. All of a sudden, they've got a spine. The inmates of the house are selling them with boiling water and pitchforks. A bailiff was stabbed and Lord Lurgan's agent and a policeman were seriously injured. The riot act was read.

Oh, and then a number of arrests were made. He's a prominent member of the National League. So he's a baseball player. He's a he's a National League. So he's a baseball player. He's a he's a go go. Yes, he's a baseball player. He plays for the Reds. Yeah. He's a go fuck go fuck the English guy. Yeah. Yeah. Which everybody is about to say very popular back. Yeah. Very popular.

Yeah. Still today should come back. I mean, yeah, I think in Ireland. Yeah. Oh, that's never going to go fuck. The English party is still going. By the way, one thing it's great that they Brexit was like, we want to focus on our domestic issues and then every other country is like, oh yeah, we're probably done. My wife went to England with a friend of ours who's English, sorry, Ireland, was someone who's English and she said Ireland, someone who's English.

And she said the difference of the way she was treated when her friend wasn't with her was amazing. Oh, wow. No, it's really nice to be like an American, like to be treated better as an American in a foreign country. Yeah, right. Because you're not with, you know what I mean?

People are, oh, finally. Oh, we've got a sane American here. Yeah, so you said that you said you mentioned that the riot act was read. Right. Like, is that was that a real thing? Was that like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm glad you went to when there was some unruliness, some civil unrest.

It's like Miranda, right? Yeah. Basically, someone came out and read that now I must read unto thee the riot act. That's it. Yes. When you can all be properly executed in public. Yes. It's basically the same as when cops say

this is an illegal protest, the illegal gathering. So yeah, once they read the riot act and basically it's like there's a few people here gathered together and we're gonna crack your fucking skulls. Yeah, it was the stop resisting. Yeah, right. Father Merriman, a priest of the Castle Connell, has received three summonses to appear in court to answer charges of inciting tenants to commit outrages. So there's the good guy. Yes. Mr. Daley, proprietor of the Connacht Telegraph has received three summons

is under the Crimes Act for publishing articles calculated to incite people to commit crime. OK, so that's all there is. But so it's like they were just evicting someone from their house because they couldn't afford to pay rent. And so people were like, we should kick the shit out of the boy. Would they enjoy this era? Yeah. And there was a priest, we should kick the shit out of the. Boy, would they enjoy this era. Yeah. And there was a priest actually being like Christ like, you know,

which is funny. I was talking to my mother about this this morning, like once once the politicians started dragging the church into that. It really was when it all got so much more complicated, like for sure. It was like, you know, because my mother was saying how she goes into a church and she still feels comfort. And I'm like, that existed for so long. And then the second that it all kind of, like, kind of merged with the, like, you know, like

the fascism and the, like, the politics, you were like, yeah, it's just a lot. It's just that line being blurred is like, yeah, now religion became like a turnoff to so many people because, you know, the specificity, whatever, it was like a place to go hang out or be whatever. And then the second that you're like, well, no, because they are making children have babies. Yeah. Yeah, that's like they definitely they definitely still had like, you know, they still had like

cardinals and stuff who were cozied up to. There were issues. There were arch dukes and things like that. But like lower level priests, like Father Merriman of Castle O'Connell or whatever, which is all just very on the nose. But like that guy. He was like, but you can't put him on the street. He'll have nowhere to sleep.

Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. It's unholy. Christ the Father wouldn't stand for it. By the way, I've got some holy water here. Shall we boil it? Uh, stole a brick house. Not easy to do. Is this a follow up? No, this is a new story. Okay. This is Louisville, Kentucky. Oh, finally. A highly peculiar robbery was reported to police today.

Miss Jane Ross, a wealthy widow who resides in Jefferson County. Is the complainant she owns or did own a two story brick building on 15th Street between Kentucky and Prentice. This is that portion of the village known as California. OK. Well, OK. Going on all the homosexuals are at. That's that's that's what's going on. I doubt it's gold. It's where they wear a Dodger hat.

So doing yoga. Yeah. It is so funny. the moved out of it one year ago, leaving it in fairly good repair. And as the owner demanded a stiff rent, there has been no one living in it since. This didn't trouble Miss Ross much, as she does not need money. It happened that she was never interested in her property enough to pay it a visit until yesterday. Man, that fucking guy was like in there just like taking up like scrubbing his back with like her bath brush in there, just like eating whatever he could find when she comes home. Oh, I. I think you missed the headline, though.

Yeah, I think I think it's a different thing. I think the headline is she showed up and it's just an empty field. Yeah, the headline is stole a brick house. Yeah. And she probably thinks it was eighteen hundred. She thinks it's like some kind of warlock or magic or something or some kind of like, you know, illusionist or British like Christian Bale from the prestige pulled this off when in reality she hasn't been there for two years. So, yeah, people just been slowly off brick by brick.

I think it's yeah. Right. Slowly detroiting it. Yeah, exactly. There are boys in the neighborhood, and these began a work of destruction by breaking the windows with stones. Then some tore down and carried away the front fence. Perhaps other people concluded at this point that the house was a stray one, for they tore down the stable and other outbuildings. That's awesome.

The shutters, doors, windows, floors, etc. disappeared. It's got to be great when someone's like, should we start doing the inside? Yeah. California does not have many brick pavements, and the idea struck some people that these pavements were good things. This is why large loads of bricks began to leave the house. And in short time, all the neighbors had paved yards and sidewalks. Nice. I mean, why not?

Sometimes it works out. She wasn't using any of those bricks anyway. Yeah, right. Yeah. You know, if we replaced a brick house with Bezos, the store is also awesome. Just take everything piece by piece, spread it out among the community.

Robin Hood it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but I mean, especially when it's actually worth something. But this is 100% on this rich old lady. Like you can't, you can't just leave a building. Yeah, completely unattended for any amount of time. Like just like neighborhood kids and stuff. One day someone is going to be like, hey, when's the last time anybody saw somebody in that building? Yes. And I can't remember the last time. And then we're like, well, when's the last time anybody saw somebody in that building?

Yes. I can't remember the last time. And then we're like, well, let's throw rocks at it. Right. And they break the way, just cause that's fun to do. And then when no one shows up about that, yeah. Then you just start throwing more rocks. And next thing you know, like, let's just take it all.

Let's just take it all. I'm going to do the chimney. Yeah. Crazy. When the day that someone's like, let's go inside, you know, what do you think? All crazy to take the floors. Yeah. Is that crazy? When the day that someone's like, let's go inside, you know, what do you think? All crazy to take the floors. Yeah.

What do you think about the listeners who called that stance anti woman? What me say? Yeah. What do you, I mean, just we're reading some of the emails on this episode already. It's just anti landlord. Okay. All right. We just want we just.

Anti absentee landlord. We just, we just thought you should have a chance. If it is a woman, then yeah, she falls into your. OK, we just want to give you a chance to kind of clear up to some of the because we've been getting a lot of emails about that. Yeah. You know, heartless capitalist pigs. Yeah. Seeds woman. OK. All right. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. The walls crumbled away and fell in and in

in a short time, a scarcely assemblance of the house remained. However, and possibly few of those who were appropriating a few bricks at a time had any idea that they were committing a theft. Right. Because they just at some point, they're just seeing rubble. So like, I should just go take. Yeah. Right. It's a Home Depot. Free rubble. Free rubble. You like, I should just go take. Yeah. Rubble. It's a home depot. Free rubble. Free rubble. You guys heard there's free rubble over here. So they started a rubble bin.

The owner came in yesterday, see our property was getting along. Hello. Oh, oh, oh. Well, there was a house here. Where do I put my money? And she bet she almost fell out, you know, got faint. And that's finding out. There's probably like two guys taking like some of the foundation.

She was like, excuse me, like, hey, lady, we're stealing this house before the owner comes back. Get what you can. Yeah. Did you hear free rubble? Get free rubble. I said nice fan. Yeah. After she had recovered from the shock, she made inquiries of some of the neighbors and learned what to become of her house.

She knew she could make the message is the neighbor update. Yeah. Bunch of people were taking it. Yeah. Everybody just took a little piece. Everybody just done like taking pieces. They're like moving over to like stand in front of the new sidewalk. But they have you know, to be honest. Where is that? Well, yeah, it's like, yeah front of the new sidewalk. Like, yeah, I don't know, people just people crazy around here. Her weather vane on their house. If we find the bastards that did it, we'll help you get them,

because that's a crime. The crime against you. She took her loss coolly across the street is a sandpit. As she turned to leave, she remarked, Well, I'm glad my property isn't over there, or they would have stolen the lot to. But. But. Her mouth. You would fucking do anything with it.

Rich people are just like, so, you know, charging too much for rent and then doing nothing with the property. Fuck off. You got to think about some of the listeners who are sort of saying you're echoing tray? Trays anti-woman stuffed. I think we should just try to get ahead of that a little bit. Well, obviously, you know people I Just want to give you a chance to kind of clear this we've been getting we've been getting accused because we are not you know fully on board with Kamala how Misogynist and racist we are And I would just like to say that's why. Yeah.

Yeah. So it doesn't sound like you've cleared this up as well as traded. But but it just wanted to give you the opportunity. So, yeah, but we're deeply this is a deeply misogynist podcast. That's what we do. I get a lot of messages about how from people who say, hey, why is you guys are coming across how much you hate the undervalued in society on this show? And yeah, yeah, we do not like well, no, yeah. So much easier to punch down, you know, our front kitchen up.

Yeah, hard. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Your shoulders are way up there. Yeah. Right. You just get on your knees and just wail down. Nothing to punching up. Get Tony Hinchcliffe to Madison Square Garden. No, no, not really. Not right. That's what success is. That's how you do it.

Absolutely the best. Yeah. So this is not exactly the same thing, to say the least, but what my friend's mom, we were kids, we were saying at his house all the time, and she was a very sweet lady and she let these two meth heads stay in her house for a while. Right. Cool. Cool. Yeah. Like that's like, yeah, nothing can go wrong. They need a story is going in a good direction for sure.

And they abandoned those two meth heads, abandoned a non functional, rusted out in 1982, Monte Carlo in her driveway. Right. Like when they finally left, they just left it there. It didn't really. It looked terrible. They left it. It was it sat there for at least six months. So one day I'm like 14 years old with all my buddies over there and his mom is gone and we're all hanging around on a Saturday. And we were like throwing a bowling ball off the deck onto like,

you know, beer cans and things like that. Of course. And then someone plays like break stuff by Limp Bizkit, you know, while we're throwing this ball. Next thing you know, it goes on the car. We grab every weapon inside and just tear that car all to shit. Just absolutely destroy it. Tear it down to the blocks basically with yard tools and whatnot and a bowling ball.

And they got really upset with us. And who did the meth heads? Yes. Well, because his mom, his mom, very rightfully so, was like, what the fuck? Right. But then damage. She's like, I have to tell these. So she told them that we had done it. And then they like charged went to the cops and charged us

and all this stuff and made us like pay the full amount for it or we were gonna have to go to GV and all this Full amount it I mean it was like dollars. No, it was they got like the Kelly blue It was not the actual it was the high hasn't the Kelly blue book screwed over. Yeah, it was like It was like $2,200. Oh my god, which was guys What is saying? Yeah, right. And so, you know, I relate to these people in the gay part of Louisville two hundred years ago or whatever.

Yeah, there there are women listening who are like, I don't understand what happened. And it's like you if you have never experienced the joy of throwing a rock through a window. Right. We should just don't. We should point out that anyone who doesn't identify with that, this is really the energy that runs the United States and its military. This is what happened.

A bunch of white dudes are in a room, lip biscuits on, and they're like, you know, Kosovo seems like slim picking. Yeah. That would look cool. Exploding. That could be fun to drop bowling balls on that. Yeah. From a drone from a drone. Yeah. Oh, and by the way, the bowling balls that explode. Yeah. The women that the women that the dudes eventually let

run with them also throw rocks to be part of the pack. So it's all that doesn't change when you get the late. Disgusting take. Dave, let's get back to the paper. I think we're good. OK. Sorry, everybody. Ally. I don't understand this one. Excuse me. White cap lunacy. There we go.

It has attacked the weak minded in Suffolk County, New York. The White Cap Mania has attacked several little towns in Suffolk County. In Flushing, this notice has been served upon all members of a social club, which meets between one and five o'clock every Friday morning. Headquarters White Caps Flushing Division, number 82. And then there's a response special order. Dear sir, you are hereby requested to remain at home with your family evenings and stop visiting hotels, drinking whiskey and neglecting your business.

Or take the lash. The Whitecaps. Guys are going out and drinking and they're being threatened by temperance. Okay, so the white caps are like a temperance gang. Yeah, it sounds like a funniest gang, by the way. Yeah, I think they're getting serious. The Mormons like they are speaking of Mormon gangs. Do either of you ever see the buttercream gang movies when you're okay? We got showed these in school.

I'm pretty sure they were actually Mormon, but it was definitely like a Christian thing, but it was a guy. It was a guy, the buttercream gang. And the whole thing was they were like this gang of little white Christian kids who like did instead of fat hilarious. Look it up. There's real thing. Oh my wait, George Joseph Gordon Levitt was in it.

Wait, really? I don't know. It looks like it. True. Maybe not. It was definitely like there was like a series of them. And I mean, maybe there was just the one movie. I don't know. But I feel like I remember multiple ones. But yeah, the buttercream gang.

Maybe it isn't just the kid looks just that is fucking hilarious. A gang of do-gooders refused to give up on an old friend who falls in with a bad crowd. The Sweet Natured Buttercream Gang is about to lose its fearless leader, Pete, who moves to Chicago. Yeah, it's like the missions or whatever they have is like, you know, an old lady falls down in her house, you know, and that type of thing. Or they stop a bully from being mean to a younger kid. And then they just start taking her house apart brick by brick. Yeah. He ought to be insulated. This is from Boston.

A new feature of the electric car system was brought into startling prominence this morning. Police Lieutenant Briggs boarded a car and the moment he stepped upon the platform, he received an electric shock that made him helpless. He was completely paralyzed. Was it a Tesla? No, he'd be on fire.

He was completely paralyzed, and the other occupants of the car lifted him to the ground with the intention of carrying him into a neighboring house. Then another singular phenomenon was noticed. The moment Lieutenant Briggs touched the ground, the electric current passed from his body and he recovered the use of all his faculties. He was now the lawnmower man. He was weak, but otherwise he was uninjured. Well, this was just back when they were still working all the kinks out of the whole electricity. He was weak, but otherwise he was uninjured. Well, this was just back when they were still working all the kinks out of the whole electricity.

I still haven't figured out just how all that really goes. By the way, I feel like they still haven't because that's not how it works. Right. The second you get all these shocks there and you're put on the ground, you're like, I'm better. Well, I know the only thing I mean, I, you know, I know that like, it takes the fastest route to the ground or to a ground. Yeah, you got to ground. So like, grounding, grounding. So

like, I can see that. Look, I'm crazy that it would stay lightning dumb. But like, I'm electricity dumb. But I think I can see that. But it says before that they all picked him up. And yeah, I think that part I'm pretty certain is not how it works. Like I would love them. They would have been all, you know, I mean, we really need to look. We're doing a lot of weird shit in this country. It would be a good time to sort of test to see if someone suspended

by non-medaled wires can hold a charge. Just forever forever. You guys you guys are missing what this is. OK, he's a one more man. He's a cop. He's a cop. Just like all the cops fake the fentanyl thing and like they're having. Yeah, he just he's doing he's doing a thing for attention. He like, yeah, he like tripped and fell off of the trolley or whatever.

Yeah. Yeah. It was like blasted, newfangled electricity. I was a hardworking man. I was a Terminator for eight minutes until I got up. Yes. The lieutenant is said to be susceptible to electric shocks, having once been in a house when it was struck by lightning. I like how that's unique. This guy's particularly susceptible to electric shock. so he's got a volt limit. Yeah

You know, I can only take so much voltage. She's about 10,000 It's because he's it's because of previous Okay, having once been in a house when it was struck by lightning from the effects of which he suffered a severe shock So he's got a little bit of a lecture argument. He's not a little bit. This this is an electric man. You're trying to blame it on whatever you're like trying to blame. And I got this.

You're you're burying the lead. You're missing the point. This is an electric man. X-Man. Yes. Thank you. Hey, hey, nothing happens to you if you're in a house when it's hit by lightning. You don't get electrified.

I know, Dave, that's part of his origin story. And when the car gave him, I'm not even gonna do this. No, you're not. No, it's like trying to explain how to play piano to a four-year-old who sucks. I'm doing that. looking for their husband. Is that in New York? I'm doing that. Two very young women are trying to find their husband, Constance,

Constance White. Two years ago, Mr. White, that's every guy back then. Why? Why did white? Hello. Also a constant white. Constance White. I'm a Constance White as well. Hello. Also a Constance White. Two years ago, Mr. White induced Amelia McDonough, 14 years old, to run away with him.

That's just how it went. You'll have that. Yeah, back then. Constance White, let's remember. He lived with her happily. I'm afraid you're a bit old. Yeah, until the age of 17. It's all right.

I normally like younger girls. You're grossing me out. I'm afraid you're a bit old. Yeah, until the age of 17. It's all right. Yeah, I normally like younger girls. You're grossing me out. Your breasts are perfectly taut and I hate it. I don't know. He lived with her happily enough until six months ago, then he deserted her after a quarrel. We're just different. Classic.

Yeah. I don't know what it is about you and I, but you just didn't. Ever since you hit puberty, you're freaking me out. You really want to play with your friends a lot, don't know what it is about you and I, but you just didn't. Ever since you hit puberty, you're freaking me out. You really want to play with your friends a lot, don't you? This is also like, it's the era when like a dude could have run away with a teenager who's utterly completely dependent on him and then one day he can just be like, this I met and then move like three blocks over to the other side

of the same town and then then just that was that. Yeah. And everybody was like, would say to the 16 year old girl, what did you say to? Yeah. What did you do to make him run off? Yeah. Yeah. From a pipe. I know. Well, there's a problem right there. Two days ago, she learned he had married Miss Daisy Feist, 15 years old. For fuck's sake.

This guy's walking around and everyone's like, how are you, Constant? And he's like, you know, I married her at 14. He's like, I am now 36. So, you know, I thought 15 would always be only right. I'm not I'm not a lunatic. Not playing the field illegally. When she went to his house in Harlem to see about it, when he saw her, he ran away and he now cannot be found.

Can you fucking believe this piece of shit? I just don't know why you why did he have to marry him? I highly doubt they were like a fet know, fetish rich debutantes. That is so fucking crazy. He runs away like on site, like she saw him and he turned. He's like 15 and he's like, yeah, yeah. Thirty seven. All right. All right.

The corners of adjoining counties quarreling over jurisdiction. We've got quarreling coroners. Yeah, classic. This is Bethlehem. That's Pennsylvania. Yeah. I mean, there is a there is a Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. And it's got to be the other one because I did a real hidden show there once. It wasn't that great. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. They do it.

I'm kind of venue in front of a hulking like rusted out. I've seen I've seen that venue. I think it looks interesting. It is kind of I mean, it is kind of cool in a wild way because it's like a monument to the Rust Belt or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. It's like some massive foundry that's been abandoned for years and it's all right.

And it's like there's a huge window behind you. And that's your view is that this, you know, the last piece of machinery, some factory owners like, I was gone for two years. What the fuck is my foundry? People gradually just taking a part in the background. It needs this. Corner Weaver of Northampton County and Corner Kemp of Lehigh County

have been quarreling for months over their jurisdiction in holding inquests on bodies of persons who are injured in one county and die in another. Wow. This is actually the that is inciting incident for the Vince Vaughn vehicle, Apple TV, original bad monkey, which I just started last night. Not to plug that movie. Is that right? That show kind of, yeah. They find that. Yeah. They find a, they find a, they fish up a human arm and they don't want, they don't want to have jurisdiction of it. Cause you know, bad for tourism. They're like shove it on Miami Dade County. And Miami's like, that ain't our arm, that's your arm. So it's quarreling coroners upset about, you know, corpse jurisdiction.

That's crazy. Yeah. That's how that shows. Yeah. Where did you live or where did you die? Who gets it? I mean, I think where you died. Where you die. It's also like that. Do you ever see that show, the bridge people? Yes. Yeah. It's like there's a body, a dead body that's on the border of the United States and Mexico and

They try to figure out so like, you know, this comes up a lot. I guess yeah It's like people just don't want to do you know, nobody wants to work anymore guys Once we get rid of the workers will finally just be able to have American coroners again. I mean, when you're talking about like, when the workload is cadavers, I would probably press to, you know, keep mine as light as possible. I know, but when you talk to like people who work in that industry, they love it. They love it. They love cadavers. Oh, it's the best. Yeah, no more cadavers. No, yeah. That's what I call the more cadavers. Yeah, I know. They want more. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I call them. More. Avers. Yeah. They want more. Yeah. They need to reboot Quincy.

Mm hmm. Trey Dave's been pushing this for about two years on the show. Dave, well, it'd be great if you like someone set up a pitch meeting for you at Peacock and you just walk in and they're like, all right, great. You're like, we need to reboot Quincy. I could. And then they're like, I have my email, right? And they're like, all right, great. You're like, we need to reboot Quincy. And then they're like, have my email, right? That's a great idea. That's exactly what we've been looking for. Yeah. Matlock's doing great. Yeah. It's unfortunate when those shows are, I'm like, no, stop this.

And then they're like, the new Matlock is awesome. And America's number one new show. Yeah, exactly. What was the is that is not like the one that's on Max or HBO or whatever? No, no, it's CBS. It's on CBS. OK, so most watch network. Colin Farrell does. He does the Penguin prequel or whatever.

I had some idea before that the Penguin and Matlock are pretty different. But I don't agree. Whatever I had to do before that. The Penguin and Matlock are pretty different, but I don't agree. Very similar. Oh, no, I'm not thinking of Colin Farrell. I'm thinking of the guy from the Russians. Quincy, the Russian, the Americans, the American Harry Mason.

Yeah, you're all over the place. The American star, Harry Mason, Matthew Reese, who stars. Yes. Reboot of Perry Mason, the HBO. Without you, we would be cutting this part out of the 20 minutes. Yeah, that was a mess. I got it covered. Yeah. But that that was a great show. But they loved it. That was a great show. Pretty sure since been canceled, unfortunately,

because this is love or whatever's name is a fucking dumb shit. Yeah. On Wednesday, James a right Higg, a railroad brakeman, died here from injuries received by falling from a train in Allentown. Corner Weaver promptly held an inquest. But while the body was being taken to Lee Lee Highton, where Higg had resided. Corner Kemp intercepted the body at the Allentown Depot

and held a second inquest. As each corner expects his usual pay for his services, the next fight will be over the payment of the. Oh, it's about the money. Oh, my God. Yeah. Per Corps. Yeah, they're wasting their time. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah. None corps. Yeah. They're wasting their time. Yeah. Oh, fuck. And none of these and usually corners back then.

I mean, still now they don't have to have any experience. They're just a guy like you just be a guy and get the job. I thought I mean, I don't have to be elected. Am I wrong? No, it everywhere is different. Some places they're elected. Some places you get picked by them. By the way, the electing a corner is is also so hilarious to be like, great. I'm torn.

I mean, I like the policies of him, but I just hate the tweets. I hate the tweet. I mean, look, Bob is so good with dead bodies. Bob's great, but it's the tweets. The tweet. Yeah, I get it. I get it. What kind of platform, whatever, does a coroner even have to like run on? What are the differences in coroner? I'm going to bring them back to life.

Yeah. No, we don't want that. Yeah. I'm the guy giving them your blood. What? And what do they want? I'm Macca. Trey, thank you for joining us. As we said, people can go to your website, Trey Crowder, com for your stand updates. And then you've got a special coming out.

Called Trash Daddy. Called Trash Daddy. It's great. December. You had a great episode and you didn't even have to play a fart memo. So I think that's... Keep that in my back pocket. Don't go low brow like the other guy. Cory calls his anus his back pocket.

I gotta go. I got a lot of things in there. Alright, thank you guys. Thanks buddy, appreciate it. So I travel a lot, I mean a lot, perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there, I'm living out of suitcases, or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy, and I want all the comforts of home. That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible. Recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado and I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff and before we got to the gigs we were like let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a more comforting

existence. You have a kitchen, you have a yard, you know it's communal living, it's just a less stressful place, more enjoyable experience. So when I go on tour, you know, like I'll be going on tour in a couple months, I always am like, well, could my place be an Airbnb? You know, just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money. And the answer to that is yes. Yes, it can be an Airbnb. It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles

while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb. Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host.